What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Jenny

October 2, 2019 at 7:24 pm

My ex and i were in relationship for almost 3 years and suddenly he came up me saying he couldn’t handle me and my tantrums. I agree i was really difficult to be with as i’m a pessimist and i have anxiety issues. So he just said he is tired of understanding or making me understand and also he doesn’t love me anymore.
Now its been 10 day since i’m doing this NC i don’t whether he’ll come back or give me a chance. I’m just broken
Emma

September 30, 2019 at 11:54 pm

My ex and I recently broke up about 2 weeks ago. I broke up with him because he wasn’t putting in much effort towards the end of our relationship. We only dated two months. I reached out to him like 24 hours later and told him that I missed him and wanted to get back together. He was very respectful and told me how he is so busy right now he doesn’t have time for a relationship and that he can’t give me what I want right now. He said all these nice things like I’m fantastic and he still has nice things to say about me. We unfollowed each other on Instagram, but since we broke up he still looks at my insta profile and checks my stories. It’s been about 3 days since he last checked it. I think he realized that I could see who had looked at my stories. A week after we broke up I contacted him about getting my things and later on that day I reached out to meet up and get some closure. He claimed he was too busy and said to just tell him through text. He’s always said nice things like when I said “I need some closure and I’ll get out of your hair for good” he replied with “you don’t have to be out of my hair for good.” He even told me I was a great girlfriend but he just couldn’t handle everything. Im about 9 days into no contact since texting him last. What are your thoughts? Is there any hope?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 1, 2019 at 8:59 pm

Hi Emma, so you can actually give yourself a good opportunity he keeps saying hes too busy, hes got a lot going on. So let him get on with that stuff and you’ll realise he will start to miss you so go into No contact for 30 days and work on you. Start doing fun and exiting things posting them to social media and let him see what hes missing out on when hes so “busy”. If you follow the program you can give yourself your best chance

Selena Flores

September 8, 2019 at 7:52 pm

Hi, Chris
I have been with my ex for 1 & 8 months. We were arguing a lot and were off and on. We would break up and get back together all the time. I am not going to lie a lot of the time it would be my fault because of jealousy and neediness but I want to change that. Sadly some how I feel like it’s actually over this time and he doesn’t love me or want to be with me anymore. I asked if we could talk and he agreed so he called me and I was basically begging him for another chance and he declined and said he didn’t want to be with me that he was happy and didn’t want a relationship right now. Does that mean it’s officially over? I’ve been doing the 30 no contact rule. It’s going to be the second week with no contact and he still hasn’t contacted me. I really want me and him to work out.

Shaunna

September 12, 2019 at 9:45 pm

Hi Selena, its very common for an ex not to reach out during NC so don’t worry.

Elaine

August 12, 2019 at 7:41 am

Hi Chris…..
I’ve only been seeing my ex for just over 2 mths… had a row… had a couple now mainly about his wandering eye & felt uncomfortable seeing him with his phone turned upside down recently….. with him cheating on his ex wife 3 times I’m armed to the max for signs incase this happens to me… he thinks I’m insecure & broke off our relationship 4 days ago… I got a message whilst he was at the airport before he went on holiday saying he’ll drop my stuff off at my workplace next week… not heard a thing since… 4 days of NC… I imagine he’s really pissed or he was messaging another woman & that’s why I’ve heard nothing in which case why would he message me….. any thoughts… thanks…
Tia

August 11, 2019 at 11:04 pm

Hey Chris, my ex and I have been broken up two weeks I haven’t spoke to him in two weeks he called a week ago but he’s blocked and I didn’t call back. I just ran into him Friday I walked passed him, he said hi I replied hi with my back story turnt. I miss him dearly but he broke my heart I’m hoping he will show me he cares for me. Do you think he’ll contact me again?
J

July 8, 2019 at 1:03 pm

Hi Chris, I posted a question on July 2 about my current situation with a long distance ex and NC. I was wondering if you had any thoughts?
Bethany k.

July 7, 2019 at 1:01 am

Hi Chris,
What if the ex messaged me during the no contact just a “hey” and nothing else, and did not reach out again after the end of no contact? How do you know if someone is just bored or they actually missed you? A simple “hey” is obviously not enough to reply back or reach out…

Chris Seiter

July 7, 2019 at 4:01 pm

Hi Bethan…best to stick with your NC. He obviously is trying to connect with you…test the waters so to speak, but a simple “Hey” is not going to do it. If you have not already done so, check out my comprehensive ex recovery Program, “EBR Pro Bundle” as it covers this whole period post breakup.

J

July 3, 2019 at 10:00 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship (international) for about 7 months (it started that way). He ended things with me about 5 weeks ago for a new woman who lived closer to him and who he had no prior history with, 2 weeks before we were to see each other again. At first, I accepted it and said I understood but the next day, I was very upset and respectfully texted him telling him that I felt he was disrespecting me and our relationship by making that choice. Since, I have been blocked via messaging and social media apps. I have reached out a few times with emails but have received no replies. I decided to try NC and I am on day 12. He has a plane ticket to visit me in 2 months. How long should I proceed with NC and do you feel there is a chance I will hear from him at this point or should I attempt to move on?
Leanne

July 2, 2019 at 11:48 am

Hello,

I was with my partner for 4 years and we have been on and off for a while we split up a month ago then got back together for about a month then 3 days ago we had a massive argument and ended things with me. He still has me on social media but changed his fb bio but has still kept me in a relationship. I messaged him saying that I don’t know what’s going to happen to us and he said what’s done is done and he isn’t getting back with me. It hurts as it’s been a long time for us and he still watches me on social media (looking at stories and posts) but isn’t contacting me. I just don’t know what to do really :/ hope you can help.
Rachel

July 2, 2019 at 7:01 am

Hello!

I am new to your site and loving just my first article. So my situation – it’s not usual, but basically my boyfriend ended things with me 3 days ago. The fight was not big enough to end things over, although that hasn’t mattered. I know it is soon, but I have been very depressed over this situation as he is sticking with his decision. I tried texting him the day after asking if “we could talk” and even apologized when I don’t feel wrong, but he shut that down. I am confused right now feeling like everything was fake and a lie. He seems very determined with his decision and this has left me heartbroken. I know it’s only been a few days since we’ve talked, but do you think if he doesn’t contact me after the NC period that I should reach out being that immediately after the fight I tried to mend things?

Chris Seiter

July 2, 2019 at 3:27 pm

Welcome Rachel…glad you are enjoying the site. My Program does call for you to reach out to your ex after the NC period. I teach a certain methodology on how to do that. Go check out my complete Program – “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro Bundle”

Kiara

June 24, 2019 at 3:24 am

Hi Chris ,
First of all thanks for your sincere efforts .
I have been a regular subscriber to ur website . I Applied No contact Rule and 3 days after ,my boyfriend during NC period started sending me messages, initily I didn’t respond but at day 12 I replied to his text thinking that this period has changed him ,though he never ignores to my any messages but he was not really interested in this relation . I realised my mistake I started NC period just after 2 day after I contacted him( though these 2 days when I made a contact I didn’t beg him when I realised he is not much interested in this relation ) , But this time unlike before it has been a week but didn’t get a single message from him. I feel like may be I didnt respond to his messages during first NC , so he is in situation of rejection that I will do this again ( of not replying to his messages ) thats why he is not texting me or is it my 2nd time NC is really working ? Should I increase myNC period span for longer duration

Chris Seiter

June 24, 2019 at 3:00 pm

Hi Kiara…I think you should go ahead and complete the NC period you started. Probably not necessary to extend past thirty days. But remember to focus on those things that help you recovery and give you personal fulfillment, as well as reinforces your value.

JenJen

June 17, 2019 at 3:26 pm

It’s been 3 months since my ex and I last spoke. It ended badly, with him blocking me. Made a huge mistake leaving him because he didn’t want to commit. Since then, I have tried to move on but haven’t found anyone I like as much as I did with him. I want to wait but I don’t think he is coming back. What I’m scared of, is him popping back into my life, when I have either moved on or finally gotten over him. I genuinely love this man, this is heartbreaking and I wish people were a bit more understanding, it’s made me lose hope in finding love again because I truly believe he was my soulmate.
Jen

June 17, 2019 at 3:26 pm

It’s been 3 months since my ex and I last spoke. It ended badly, with him blocking me. Made a huge mistake leaving him because he didn’t want to commit. Since then, I have tried to move on but haven’t found anyone I like as much as I did with him. I want to wait but I don’t think he is coming back. What I’m scared of, is him popping back into my life, when I have either moved on or finally gotten over him. I genuinely love this man, this is heartbreaking and I wish people were a bit more understanding, it’s made me lose hope in finding love again because I truly believe he was my soulmate.

Chris Seiter

June 17, 2019 at 8:03 pm

Hi Jen…I know breakups can hurt in all kinds of ways. It’s best not to worry about future things that have not happened. Better to focus on your recovery/healing activities. Taking care of “you” is what is most important.

Nicole

June 5, 2019 at 12:15 pm

Hi Chris,

Your content on these articles really gives me a sense of empowerment and hope.

So my ex (35) and I (23) are in grad school together. We have been dating for a year now. He proposed to me in March.

We have one more year in the program. The program is the same 20 people in every class. He relied on me so much in the fall and spring semester. I would help him organize, remember, and even help on assignments.

He apparently has been in content with a prior ex older woman (39) for a few weeks. I found out that she had moved in randomly in the past couple days with him. Nothing makes sense. They are both addicts in different choice drugs. He has been in recovery for a couple years though now.

On Sunday(5/26) when I stopped over and found him with this girl, he was very upset. He was running after me when I stormed out. He kept texting me afterwards. On 5/29, he approached me at our gym we go to and kept saying how huge missed me and loved me. We went out to the mall and planned the next day together, gym date. So we went to the gym like normal on 5/30. After he came over my house and we got a bit touchy. He was saying how much he loved me, how sorry he was, and how I needed to give him time to get rid of that older woman.

On 5/31 I found out she was still living there with no indication from him to move. He said she is the right woman for him and I’m perfect in every way.

We haven’t spoken since. No texts or calls.we had to see one another in our 3 credit course on Monday 6/3 and he asked the professor to switch to another day (summer is more flexible). I don’t understand why he would do any of this. Why would he approach me in the gym on 5/29 when I was ignoring him since 5/26 and ask to rekindle us? Then tell me she is the girl for him on 5/31?

The older woman has a kid (10?) and she is a hairdresser at a cheap salon. My ex and I are both in grad school together! He proposed to me, we were planning our future, he introduced me to friends of his as fiancée, and his parents invited me to their family reunion this summer.

I’m so confused about this all. No contact on day 5 now and no calls or texts. I love my ex fiancé. We are good together and he has told me that many times. Please give me your professional advice/guidance as I am in horrible pain.

Chris Seiter

June 5, 2019 at 9:54 pm

Hi Nicole…I am glad the hope is alive….but I want you to focus on “you” and your self recovery needs. That is the “gold” of the NC process. Also, if you have not done so, take a look at picking up EBR Pro Bundle as it dives into so many of the details

S

May 31, 2019 at 9:57 am

Hi Chris,

I am 3 weeks into no contact. Whereas everything you are saying makes sense, I am afraid that the techniques might not apply to INFJ personalities (the rarest personality type according to Myers Briggs).
After 6 years of dating I received the classic ‘INFJ door slam’ from my 42-year old boyfriend. Just 2 weeks away from us moving in together and embarking on a beautiful vacation he broke-up with me. He told me that he is unhappy and that he ‘loved me but is not in love anymore’ and that we would resent each other 40 years from now if we would stay together. He turned very cold in that conversation and cut me out of his life entirely. I asked him to pick up his things just a few days later, and to discuss our upcoming lease agreement and vacation. He agreed but then never showed up and I haven’t heard from him since. He is totally shut down.
Have you had any experience with INFJ personalities? All I learned is that they usually feel nothing after the ‘door slam’ and that there is rarely a way back into their lives. They are hyper sensitive as well.
I can see through his pain, as I know him for so long and am willing to forgive and would like a new chance for us to reconnect. He is not on social media, other than Whatsapp, which gives me little leverage for communication. Will his heart ever open up again?
Amy

May 29, 2019 at 1:16 pm

Hi Chris, I am 42 and my ex boyfriend is 47. We have been dating for 13 years. He broke up with me on May 4. Since then, I reached out a couple times hoping to talk and work things out. I’m a fixer for sure. But he really wants nothing to do with me. On Sat May 18th, I went to his house and he said I had some nerve showing up. As I was leaving- he said he would call me after Memorial Day. Of course, that came and went and still not a peep from him. I will not call him but I’m not sure I am optimistic that no contact will work in my case. He has no kids- I have one (15). He doesn’t seem to care about me or my son. He is just gone. He is a stubborn person but can be very cruel sometimes especially with my feelings. I am a warm person and care about others feelings including his. He really puts the blame on me but he started the argument which led to our breakup. What should I do at this point. I am working on me during the interim and moving on as if he isn’t coming back. My heart is broken tho.

Chris Seiter

May 29, 2019 at 11:04 pm

You might want to consider implementing No Contact. You can learn much more about that thru my Program.

Marie

May 22, 2019 at 12:05 am

We were seeing each other from December to May, we had some rough patches but then things picked up big time in March.
Before i get into it, he is in recovery (since November) and has a keen outlook on life, and doesn’t use social media, and just got a phone because his boss wanted him to have one.
So anyway, some stuff happened and he had to move out of town (about 45 minutes) and things slowed right down again.. I was mentioning that I missed him, and we made plans for the following Friday, come Friday he says he has to work late (okay) and he never tried to make new plans, and I didn’t try either. Sunday after not hearing from him i told him i couldn’t do it anymore. He said he was sorry, he had good intentions, he thought I was great, he wasnt ready for a full-time committed relationship and was unable to give me the time that I wanted..
The following Tuesday we were talking and it was just over things in life, after our convo about 2 hours later I sent the pathetic text “can we just start over no expectations blah blah” he completely ignored it and even sent a message (a photo) right after
Today it’s been a week since that message, I haven’t reached out, and I am still wondering about everything. He was the one who initiated the first date (after knowing each other for about 4-5 years) to first kiss. He told me “if we ever fight promise we make up”, he told me about how much he loved being with me, he wanted to take it slow and see how we made out over the summer..
So, I’m lost.
Anything?
catie

May 21, 2019 at 12:27 pm

So it’s been 4 weeks since my ex boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was due to lacking of good communication between us. He made me feel quite insecure and never told me he loved me during our relationship for 10 months… I went to his place 1 week ago to pick up my spare keys, which he didn’t know he had.. and we talked a bit about the break up, his feelings and mine. I dropped him a message the day after saying that I was glad we talked, however, I am still disappointed that the relationship didn’t mean more to him that he could end it so quickly and in my opinion the problems we had, we could work on them.. But he was stubborn and said he still thinks this is the best thing to do.. Now I have the feeling he already started seeing someone new.. I have no idea how to move forward from this? should I completely give up the hope of us getting back together? should I delete him from all social media? I’m so torn on what to do and feel depressed all the time… thanks
Ann

May 20, 2019 at 2:35 pm

My ex and I fought before NC, he told me to leave in the heat of the fight and the day after the fight he came by my apartment to exchange keys… Two days after he left on a trip and blocked me on whatsapp. This week (10 days later) he will be back, we havent had any contact since the day he came to exchange keys.
I would normally have the NC period and contact him myself but think he was unfair and disrespectful by kicking me out of the house and hope that he had time to think and analyze our relationship and understand that thats not the way to handle your SO. I think it is up to him to get back in touch as he gave me all the reasons to move on….. Will he see it that way too? Does he need more NC to see what he could loose? Or am I being the typical ¨entitled¨womane?

Chris Seiter

May 20, 2019 at 2:44 pm

HI Ann…so if your 10 days into NC, I think you need to go deeper. Go pick up my comprehensive Program (EBR PRO Bundle) as it will walk you thru the entire NC process and the other things you should be doing!

Ellie

May 18, 2019 at 9:02 am

I am 1 week into my LNC (as we work together) I started the day after we broke up, 1 week before the break up he told me that he believed we were solid, but now that we’ve broken up he wont even lool at me in work sometimes he looks at me if we pass each other but that’s it, I’m confused as to why someone who had declared all this live for me broke up with me a week later and doesn’t even want to talk to me anymore.

Chris Seiter

May 18, 2019 at 11:09 pm

Sometimes the behavior of an ex is difficult to process, but time usually smooths out these things and NC in one such way to work thru time, along with many other tactics.

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2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”