57 thoughts on “What Is The Limited Contact Rule?”

1. 

   K

   February 18, 2018 at 9:32 am

   Hey,
   I have been trying to do the limited contact as we are in same college.. but whenever I post pictures on social media to make him jealous and insecure.. he texts me asking where am I and with whom!

   If I dont reply he gets a bit furious.. and if I reply saying I am with my friends which include boys he gets jealous.
   He says I am confused about us being together again because you are hanging out and drinking with boys which I dont like.

   What do I actually do now?

2. 

   shelly

   December 17, 2017 at 8:21 pm

   hi,
   my boyfriend and I broke up a month ago after 6 months of dating. I gnatted at him for a few weeks, before giving up and starting no contact. however, it had to be limited contact because we sit right next to each other in school. he told me while I was gnatting that he needs space from me, but he wants to be friends in the future and remain friends in class. but when I tried doing nc, he got very angry with me for not talking much to him in class and ignoring his texts. he began to block me on all forms of social media because he thought I didn’t want to be his friend in the future and wanted to cut me out of his life for ignoring him. so I started to talk to him more (only in class) and it’s been very flirty…not the same as when we were together obviously but he spent a lot of time talking and being nice/fun/flirty with me. What does this mean? should I go back to ignoring him and restart nc? or is us being flirty and almost friends a positive sign and something I should pursue?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   December 20, 2017 at 7:05 pm

   HI Shelly,

   tell him, the current situation is not workable for you and thank him for everything and then restart nc, and follow the advice here:
   EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

3. 

   Julie James

   November 7, 2017 at 1:26 am

   I have enforced NC a month after the split as we had joint accounts etc. that we needed to sort. We had been together for 4 years and he split with me. There were also two “harsh” emails from me when I found out he was with someone else(after breaking up with me because he needed time on his own). Then I enforced NC, a week and a half after this he saw me out. I was confident(and looked good if I do say so), I smiled as he walked in but other than that I had a great time and did not even look his way – just enjoyed myself. He later was with his new flame and out the corner of my eye I would see him go close to her each time I was near(although I won’t be to sure about this as I said, I was not focused on him).

   A few days after he has seen me out he has emailed me about more admin – accounts etc. They are not urgent or costing him money( I have taken them over) – they just merely have both our names on.

   I do not understand why now as this could have been done six weeks ago when the break up happened.

   I realise I need to respond to the email but I dont want to break NC. How do I go about this? Do I reply politely and kindly – bubbly even but without being too forthcoming?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   November 8, 2017 at 6:00 pm

   HI Julie,

   if you really need to respond to it, respond professionally because it’s about business right?

4. 

   Travis Patterson

   August 23, 2017 at 6:54 pm

   During a limited Nc can you talk about your kids? Funny stories, cute pictures, things you did. This is what confuses me the most. A week ago or so we went to the zoo as a family but should we just stick to dropping my daughter off and only talking about the important things. I mean a big part of our connection is and would be our child. Just needs some advice on how to handle things.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 24, 2017 at 10:49 pm

   you can use that kind of conversation when you’re in the building rapport stage but during nc, only talk about important things and just be civil around her.

5. 

   Emily

   July 3, 2017 at 8:04 am

   My boyfriend or ex now I guess told me I could come back home. He said he would try. This was just yesterday. Then he goes and gets drunk and says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore again. He didn’t come home and I’m scared he may have been with a girl tonight. I want to be with him but something is going on with him and his drinking is starting to get out of hand. I don’t know what to do anymore. The friends he drinks with aren’t good influences and are all single and drink constantly. His other friends who actually act their age say he’s been drinking too much and hasn’t been treating me right by going back and forth between wanting me when he’s sober but not when he’s drunk. I just moved in with him, why can’t he just give us one more chance and actually try?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 5, 2017 at 1:51 pm

   he’s an adult..he makes his own decisions..just like you..it’s either you wait or be proactive with yourself and in your life..if he wants you back, then he should make an effort aside from just saying sweet words to you

6. 

   Emily

   June 29, 2017 at 4:59 am

   My boyfriend and I have been together for close to a year. We have had our issues but usually get through them. Then a week ago while he was out drinking he told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore and that he didn’t love me. The next day when he came home from lunch he told me he did love me and he doesn’t want me to leave. Then he goes back and forth for a week then decides to break up with me. We talked some and agreed to just take a break and I am staying at a friend’s house. I did stay with him for the first couple of nights just because I didn’t have a place to go yet. He said I could stay if I wanted to. While we were going back and forth he would still give me a hug and kiss goodbye before he left for work. We have texted some the last couple of days. I had to go over there after I got off of work to get a couple of things and I was not able to leave before he got home. I text him apologized that I wasn’t gone before I let. He told me it was fine and that I could stay as long as I wanted. I told him no I was good, I have plans tonight but thanks. Well that started him asking what I was doing, to have fun on my date and I told him we are on a break and I wouldn’t do that. He replied with you better not and then he asked me my plans and I told him and he acted jealous. I don’t know if this is a good sign or not. I try not to text him too much unless it is about me coming over or like this morning when his mom asked me to lunch I asked him if I should tell her about us being on break but he had already done that the day before. Not sure what to do besides to try not to contact him much if at all. I just know i’m ready to go back home to him and work out our problems.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 30, 2017 at 11:41 am

   I think you should try a full nc..unless you’re moving back together

7. 

   Andi

   June 20, 2017 at 6:31 pm

   A couple of months ago my husband told me that he did not think that he loved me anymore. We lived in limbo for a while with me begging, pleading and crying to change his mind and promising we could fix any issues but he took the decision to move out last week. We have been together for ten and a half years and married for six, and have 2 children together. They are so upset that Daddy has left and he is now coming round a lot to see them which once again upsets me as I love him very much and want to be with him and mend our marriage. All he has said is that he feels we have drifted apart and he sees no hope. Tonight I tried to initiate limited contact when he came round and just focus on the kids and he had a go at me for ignoring him and once again I got upset. I just don’t know how to implement this effectively when he is here all of the time to see the kids and phoning them every night. I am so worried that the mistakes I made when this first happened have ruined my chances of saving my marriage. Please help!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 23, 2017 at 2:49 pm

   It’s not yet too late..check this ones too:
   How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them

8. 

   Andi

   June 20, 2017 at 4:28 pm

   A couple of months ago my husband told me he didn’t have any feelings for me and then last week he moved out. We have been together ten and a half years, married for 6 years and have 2 kids. I am really struggling with limited contact when I see him. I don’t contact him unless about the kids but when I see him I fall apart and find it so hard not to have a conversation with him and look for signs that he missed me or will change his mind. I miss him so much and want to save our marriage. All he has said is we have drifted apart and he doesn’t see us together. Can this be saved as I don’t want this to be the end of my marriage but I don’t know what to do to save it if I am the only one who wants to.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 23, 2017 at 2:49 pm

   It’s not yet too late..check this ones too:
   How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them

9. 

   Em

   June 16, 2017 at 12:27 pm

   No it hasn’t really been the first time, but this just felt worse, him and I are on our graduation trip and things are going well. The only problem is that I feel like he is interested in this other girl that he has been talking to. I really don’t know what to do.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 18, 2017 at 5:32 am

   don’t nag him about it.. have you followed the advice on this one?
   How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship

10. 

    Em

    June 11, 2017 at 2:39 am

    Hey so I just have a question…
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years in July. It’s been amazing, but the past two weeks he’s been telling me he is busy all the time, sorta not answering me, convos have gotten sorta dull, we hung out but kissed once and to me it seemed like he was avoiding me. What do I do? He seems like he is losing interest, I’ve been so upset about this.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 14, 2017 at 9:44 am

   Is this the first time he’s been like that? If not, what did you change before?