What Makes An Ex Boyfriend Change His Mind About The Breakup?

902 thoughts on “What Makes An Ex Boyfriend Change His Mind About The Breakup?”

mc

June 2, 2015 at 12:11 am

Chris me again. Please respond? please? You never reply to me 🙁
So we have not broken up but he asked for space like what I posted few days back. I feel that he really wants to experience being single but contacts me from time to time to make sure I have not moved on yet. 10th day he told me he misses me. On the 15th day I texted him casually saying he should watch this TV show. We texted. There was awkwardness at first but he ended saying that he should still be the one for me even though I am enjoying my life. Then while we were on the phone like the before he told me maybe he just misses mr and apologized for disturbing me. I think he is giving me the hot and cold treatment. then he told me he does not load his cell phone only once a week maybe lying to avoid contacy with me and he told me his mother is guarding him to not contact me. Or maybe he is just using his mother because it has already been a month since our fight and I doubt her mothet is still the reason why he havent contacted me. Then 2 days after I texted him some pick up line and he answered with a <3. Then I feel maybe he is just making sure I dont move on and he is being selfish. Am I right?

Then I sent a group message saying
"Respect myself enough to walk away from something that no longer serves me, grows me or makes me happy… something like that saying at least I tried and I have no regrets"

Then I also sent this "If I were to change myself this time it wouldnt be for anybody but myself haha only I can make me happy :3

Thanks (name of our group of friends) excited for our wakeboard trip :3 hahahaha)

Then after 5 days he sent something to request a load (a network message) which he sends if he wants me to call him. I ignored it because I wanted to go in NC again. Then after 1 day.he texted me this "mc?" I did not respond then he texted again "babe,," he hasnt called me that in a very long time after our fight and he texted "I dont have load to call you" "just give me a hint if you already gave up" "sorry. For everything" "i hope you can still give me a chance"

Am I right that he only wants me back because he knows he is losing me but if I still show I am still thete for him he wont feel the urgency to come back?

We have not technically broken up but he originally wanted it to happen. I have not responded until now. NC or not? Or should I confront him?

Thanks Chris Ive been waiting for days for your reply hahahahha 🙂
Dawn

May 27, 2015 at 11:19 am

hi Chris my name is dawn and I was with my boyfriend for over two and a half years. we have been living together for over 2 years and were inseparable. He is 3 years younger than me and when I first met him he was still living at home. As soon as we moved out together his mom freaked out. Mind you, he is very close with his family and his family is Spanish and his mom is overly protective of her sons. And mind you the brothers girlfriends have the same issue with her. But I’ve always been more independent and I follow my own path which she did not like. Well over the last year we’ve had major problems due to her. She has been pushing him to leave me and it would cause stressed and strain on our relationship. It got to the point where he left a few times and came back because he wanted to. I feel that he left this time because she made him choose between her or me. He is 26 years old and he was independent from what I saw when we dated. But I feel that she hangs the family over his head to get him to do what she wants. She even has fought with me a couple times since our breakup and has gone completely pissed that he emailed me and I responded. She promised that she would tell him that I promised her I wouldn’t contact him but I feel like she is just trying to manipulate the situation to what she wants. How do I get my ex back with his mom like this?
Melanie

May 26, 2015 at 8:38 pm

My long distance boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago. He said it was because we had a disagreement over him going out and not speaking to me a few times. He felt like he couldn’t go out with his friends in the city he just moved to and because of this said he didn’t know if he loved me anymore. I feel like it’s normal to want your boyfriend to show he is thinking about you, even when he’s out. Anyway, he said it would be best for me to cancel my flight to see him this weekend so I did. Does this sound unsalvageable or that he really just needs space?
Lee

May 26, 2015 at 2:00 am

I have been reading this site for awhile and am still having trouble seeing it as possible to get my ex back. He and I dated for several months and then he said he didn’t feel for me the way he should or care for me the way I deserved to be cared about and his issues caused him to break up with me, so a bunch of lines. I did tell him to lose my number and he begged to remain friends because he genuinely likes me. I recognized I became clingy and too available and not the girl he started dating, but I believe he bailed too soon. I am in no contact, for the last two weeks. but I have noticed he is liking my posts on facebook constantly, including ones that are 10 or 11 hours old, so I know he is going through my page, not just his feed, because he has hundreds of friends. In the last two weeks, I changed my entire look to one every one says is amazing and never better, lost 5 pounds and still going, lots of pics of going out and doing things and being social and fun. I know I have his attention, but I don’t want to screw it up. I never post where I am or too many details so it doesn’t seem like I am posting for him. Following these steps, can I really move from just his attention to making him crave me? Or am I reading into his actions on facebook too soon after the break up (2 weeks)?
mc

May 23, 2015 at 5:28 am

Chris I broken the NC rulw after 2 weeks. One week ago he texted me that he misses me and I did not respond. I responded just now. He was really sweet and he told me he still live by my rules. He also told me it is good I am enjoying my life but he said he wants assurance that it is only him that I want. He asked for space 2 weeks ago. I asked him if we are still in a commitment. He told me yes and he told me I am his only girl until now. At first he resisted to answer my call that night because he told me he wasnt ready yet and he does not know what to say. until he told me he will call me for just 30 seconds because he misses my voice. I answered and we were really happy when he told me maybe he is just missing me. He told me he want me back but tjere is this resistance. He really thinks I have a bad attitude because of my clingyness and jealousy. I asked his decisiom and told me he wants to take it slowly. Its like he wants it but resists it. Then I accidentally brought up something about our fight which involves his mom who is against our relationship. then his mood changed and told me proofs that I am a bad person. Then the call was ended because he is already sleeping I think. How can I salvage my situation and how can I remove his resistance maybe the thing that happened tonight has made his resistance stronger. Must I continue to text him? He told me he got upset when I did not respond and thought I dont want to fix it anymore. We had a really great relationship for four years. We even brag about our relationship becausw we fight minimally. This all started only last month. What will I do Chris?
SB

May 20, 2015 at 7:36 pm

Hi, Chris. I have to say that almost on a daily I read your posts about how to get an ex back. I’ve known my ex since first grade, I’ll be 22 in July. We were grade school sweethearts, during junior high and high school we were both always taken. A year ago we met up and set this amazing flame. We agreed to be friends with benefits and it ended up being something more serious, we fell madly in love. During our friends with benefits phase I did kiss another guy and talked to him for maybe a week then cut him off completely bc it didn’t feel right, right then I knew I was getting feelings for my old crush. Anyways, we made it official three months later. It was great, I couldn’t believe I had fallen for this man I’ve known since grade school.. I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant in November 2014, ever since then I feel like its changed a bit. We fought more than usual, he actually ended up talking to an ex in October and hid it from me! He his a lot of things from me that all came out the day we broke up when I checked his phone over a gut feeling. He never physically cheated, just had a friendly convo with her and was going to hang out, but never did. Guilty conscious, maybe? I was torn he had hidden things for me, we got into the biggest fight ever. Oddly, I was really calm, but he was enraged. He blew up over everything, even about that kiss I had before we dated bc it still hurts him and I didn’t even know it did since we established it was just friends with benefits. He’s not much of a communicator, but everything that ever bothered him that I’ve done and the stress of being a new parent, no job, my family always expecting so much from him, him worrying about bills, not feeling like hes the best for us, all of that came out the day he left me. I work two jobs and he quit his job bc the factory was causing problems with his health, I was understandable and never once used it against him. I really love him and until that day I didn’t know how much anger or doubt he had towards me. I wanted to let him know how much it hurt me to see all the stuff he did or said had really hurt me and I wanted him to fix everything deep down, instead he blew up on me all about the past mistakes and stress that he’s blaming on me. Its been over a month now and I’m very nice to him. I invite him to the baby appts. I started being desperate and begging for hun back the first three weeks but it only pushed him away more… He has this new lady friend and they’re seen together and what not. It really hurts, but I don’t bash her or him. When I’m nice about everything we talk about over text he starts being mean to me. One night he had almost came over and told me he feels really sad all the time… The next day he was distant again. Why?!?!?! I thought I had him at that. He opens up and then goes back into his shell. Its frustrating. We met up once to talk and I was very calm and friendly. He told me that he didn’t know how he felt he just wanted to be alone. At this point he doesn’t think we will work out bc of our past fighting so he doesn’t even want to try. He doesn’t want to feel the emotions again, I guess? Just a few days ago he brought up me and other guys and said that I didn’t miss him or seem torn up over the break up bc he bets I was holding someone else’s hand days ago. He mentioned he bet that I was talking to multiple guys and blah blah blah. When I swore on the love of my dead grandfather that I haven’t done anything or talked to anyone he asked me this, “you don’t need to talk to other men, but what makes you not want to or to do it to just pass time?” I told him I couldn’t use someone as a rebound or emotional crutch when I still loved him. I was completely honest with him. He then changed the subject and started bitching about my family insulting him in front of his new fling at church. Then he ventured off subject again to complain about me kissing that guy before we ever dated! I think he is making himself believe I’m doing all these horrible things he’s accusing me of doing just so he won’t feel bad about doing stuff with this new girl. I’m due in two months and all I do is work and come home. I’m a really nice person and I may be a bit hormonal at times, but why is he doing all of this to me? Why did he leave? I thought it was going great until he blew up like that. I knew we lacked communication, but I told him he could tell me anything. I’ve been trying to work on communication and he’s shutting me out. I started the no contact rule and today is day two. My next baby appt is next Friday. I plan to not text him, but if he asks for the time of the appt ill text him the time, but that’s it. I’m hoping he starts to miss me and once the baby is here see the family he’s missing out on… I honestly want to know what you think is why he’s doing all of this? I need a better perspective on what his insight may be. Thanks, Chris. Your ex boyfriend recovery has helped me a lot and I hope the NC works for me

Chris Seiter

May 21, 2015 at 3:40 pm

Definitely think NC can be effective in this situation. Well, minimal contact with the baby stuff.

Amanda

May 15, 2015 at 1:58 pm

Hi!
I have been reading so many of your articles and comments so I wanted to post my story… My boyfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He is 22 I’m 23 I was his first girlfriend and I’m the only one he has had sex with. He just says he doesn’t want a relationship right now. We are friends… right now it would be impossible to implement NC because we are about to work at the same summer camp as co-counselors until August. He says we will talk about our relationship at the end of summer, I even told him after summer no doubt I am going to start moving on if we are not together. He says he wants to be 100% before we continue and I respect that. If by August we are still not together I will try NC for at least a month, and really start moving on. He does not know what he wants I can tell, he has made comments about having sex with other people (which honestly if he needs to I am fine with for the most part, I was not a virgin when we met) and he has made comments about dating others before we get back together. But the summer camp will really not allow any of this. I don’t think he knows what love is right now, since we have been out of the honeymoon phase.. he really has not given me a straight answer on his love for me- he has said it died a while ago, but then he said he loved me the whole time romantically, and now he just loves me as a friend. I am hoping we just need space and time. We lived together for about 3 years and made the mistake of not having out own lives, we spent all our time together. I even told him that now I realize our mistake and told him if we get back together it will be different. I know the space will be good for us if we get back together, I am reaching out to my old friends and beginning to be comfortable on my own again. This will definitely not make him feel as suffocated. I am wondering what you think about this matter?

Chris Seiter

May 19, 2015 at 5:40 pm

I think you have a very practical and smart approach to this.

maria

May 8, 2015 at 9:00 pm

hello chris,
i broke up my boyfriend 4 months ago due to empulsive decission where we are having a big fight through calls..
we are in a relationship for more than 10 years through that year we didnt argue coz i understand him and i always follow what he wants and never complain.. last year i found out he is cheating on me i confront him and he said he love me that is why he never continue the relationship with that girl coz he love me.. i forgive him coz i love him that much and in our long term relationship its the first time he did it.. but few months later i found out that they constantly talking on the phone and communicating even we are together this girl is calling in the middle of the night so i get mad and broke up with him all i want him to do is to say sorry for doing this things but he never did sorry so i guese thay he is already with that woman. he tried to contact me but i ignore him and sent him hatefull message what i felt how i get hurt and j cant forgive him for doing this things to me..
when weeks later i already calm and i want to talk to him i called him and say sorry for what i said but he already told me its late coz i already broke up with him.. so i just let him go
days later he contacted me out of the blue just to say hello but i cant control my emotion i didnt talk him good all i said is what i felt how hurt i am and it cause us another fight in the phone i said many things which i didnt mean and he also said things that hurt me..
after a month of break up i send him goodbye letter how sorry and how i feel for our relationship and hoping each of us will be happy being away from each others and soon will be friends if things is already ok and we both move on..
i didnt get any response from him after a week he called me again and saying how i hurt him and he is already has a new girlfried coz he things no one will like him after i dump him i say sorry again for what happen we both cry still i cant control my emotion i also told him how painful it was to me. knowing that he find another one instead of explaining me and fix our relation coz i think theres still a chace he is very coward to face the consequence of his doings.. after that we constantly talking but always discussing the flow of relationship wil lead into blaming he always blame me for the bad happen between us and that makes me angry knowing he is the one who cheat on me..
he already ask me for marriage before i know the cheating things.. he is not into marriage man and it makes me so much happy atlast he offer me marriage but after saying he wil marry me e neer discuss it to me and thats the reason why i feel bad and cause of fight he dot k ow how to comfort me..
we are still talking over the phone even he has new girlfriend sometimes i am the one initiate contact with him me i always get hurt when he always said about the girl how defferent she is to me i things is purposely hurting me revenge for hurting him for dumoing him.. then i lost contact to him coz he change number coz the girl get mad to him for always talking to me.. then one day i am depressed i didnt think good i reach him to his work and breakdown infront of him say sorry for what happen he comport me and i strongly believe he still care for me and love me but he is confuse for what is going in in the relationship.. he cannot decide to come back to me and hurt other girls he even ask me to wait for him to come back and i said yes i will for him he seems to dont want me to move on while he still datimg other girl.. coz he know i love him that much..
2 days later i made another huge mistake and i guese it ruin my chances to get him back i reach to him again and ask him to choose me over the girl he become distant and angry he said what take me too long to come back to him and i said all i wait is his sorry for me..
he even bring the new girl and infront of her he reject my reconcilation i feel humilated and ashame of myself,, i told him once you realized my worth into your life for taking me for granted for letting me go and to always hurt me i already move on that time.. he never expect me to say that word coz he got panic he said can you take me back? i said for the last time i wish them to be happy and walk..
after that incident i cut all the ties all i did is to improve myself and getting back my oldself which a very confident woman and i feel good after i feel better i got back and making mystery for showing to his friends that i am happy now..
i never heard what happen to his new relationship..we never see each others yet..
heres my question..

1. is my neediness and being desperate push him away for good?
2. do i still have a chance to get him? even he has new girlfriend?
3. they are dating to this girl for 2 months ane they live in one place
is he already fall in love this girl and forget me?
4. is it a rebound girl? coz he is datimg me weeks after our breakup
5. when the times he reject me he said he love me.
6. why he said he still love me infront of his new girl
7.what should i do to get him?
8 should i wait for him to initiate contact with me?

any idea please help me..
Stix

May 5, 2015 at 2:46 am

My x fience jumped into a rebound relationship (moved in after dating her for 1 week) but says he isn’t happy. He’s been with her for 2 months, but won’t leave her because she’s ill. He knows that she’s using him to pay her bills, but feels that she needs him and doesn’t want to hurt her. He also has some reservations about us getting back together because I was the one who didn’t want to get back together at first. We were both depressed over the winter but things are better now. I have made big improvements in my life and cleaned out all the garbage. I know we could do this if i could just get him to take that leap of faith. He won’t see me in person because he says it hurts too much. I think its because he knows that he will “fall under my spell” if you will. We’ve only talked on the phone twice. Other than that its texting. He doesn’t have his own place so its either live here or stay there and he says he’s not ready emotionally to come back yet.
Andrea

May 1, 2015 at 8:48 pm

Hey Chris, great article! My boyfriend and I got in a fight- long story short, he was being prideful and I was feeling threatened and misunderstanding his intent. When I got mad I threw all of his clothes into a bag. After we met in person he started hugging me and trying to make me feel better about the miscommunication but I stayed pouty. He found the bag of clothes and got pissed and decided to clear out EVERYTHING of his from my apartment and the dynamic swtiched. Now he’s saying HE wants a break. (he took the condoms. and he left saying ‘i didn’t want it to end on bad terms’ and gave me a friendly hug goodbye.) Not sure if he just wants me to feel bad and is upset that I did that or if he’s serious about it?!
hayley

April 17, 2015 at 10:35 am

Im after some advice… obviously that’s why im on this site!! I was with my ex partner for 2 years, lived together since August. He is 21 and I am 24. Since moving in together we gradually got into such a rut that it is now over for good. The problems started where he was going out every weekend, never spending any time with me etc. When I spoke up about how it was making me feel he got defensive and we would argue. He has been asking for space the last couple of months (hard when we have been living together) I would back off a bit and in a few days he would come and cuddle and kiss me and say he loved me etc. but then when I would think things were going back to normal I would jump in head first and he would retreat back into himself.. So after looking for some answers from him on sunday we got into a very heated argument and he said for me to leave and he was glad I would not be in his life anymore. so I packed up and went back to my parents. the next morning he text me regarding the flat.. which I replied to in a mature manner.. he then started getting angry cuz I had accepted a male friend on facebook (me and ex aren’t even friends on facebook) saying I wasn’t going to get his attention back like that.. but then the convo flipped and ended on I was never going to get his attention back. so I started NC. yesterday I had to contact him due to removing myself off bills etc. I purely messaged him about this and was civil. he then started saying we will never get back together, nothings holding him back anymore. when I replied saying I agree that this is the right decision, if we were meant to be together we would of got through this. he got angry. I ignored.. then later he text me saying we were meant to be together but I messed it up. And today he has said he is ‘hardly happy’ after the break up. but this was his decision and his decision to not work through it. so im super confused. I will now return to NC. But what the hell is going on with him??? bit of advice would be greatly appreciated. iv told him I need to cut ties to move on as its only fair and I just get faced with anger
Brooke

April 15, 2015 at 3:57 pm

Hi Chris,

I recently purchased your book and I’m trying my hardest to get my ex back. I just finished reading it today and I bought it yesterday morning! He’s an amazing guy. He’s sweet, has a heart of gold, caring, and very handsome. And a million more things. He makes me the happiest girl in the world and he gives me butterflies. We have such a deep connection and we really get along. We had our differences, but I couldn’t help but smile through our fights because he still made me happy as could be. And it would always end up in us making up and sometimes having sex. He recently broke up with me, 3 weeks ago, out of the blue and he said his feelings changed. Things were going great, we recently just spend a whole weekend together and just had a great time. Lots of happiness and snuggles. Well we had a argument about two months before and we took a step back on being so serious because it scared him a bit. He was the first to say I love you and the first to bring up marriage, and I brought it up more after that.. We are both 21 and we were together for 7 months. We’ll he claims that he took a step back and not forward again. Which is why he saw me as a friend at the time of the breakup. My ex is the man I see spending the rest of my life with and he is my soul mate. I recently had him get all his stuff from my place and he talked to my roommate about everything and I was not home. He told her that he completely lost feelings and never saw us getting back together again. Well, I called him then next morning and he told me he just didn’t care about me anymore and he didn’t see any kind of a future at all. It really hurts because I do. I want to be with him more than anything. I don’t know what to do because he’s the type of person who just makes up their mind and won’t change it.. And he believes in once and ex, always an ex. His mom told me that he has an off switch and just falls out of love with someone. She doesn’t know why, but he does. And his dad told him that he did it as a young adult as well. So his dad is basically telling him it’s okay. He told me he’s not getting in a relationship with anyone, anytime soon. But I am afraid to lose the love of my life. He’s my everything. PLEASE HELP!!!

Brooke

April 17, 2015 at 1:32 pm

I have not tried it yet, because I feel like at this point it would not even work on him. I feel so hopeless with this. I feel like he truly does not care about me and if he didn’t hear from me for a bit then he would be fine. But he said at one point he did love me before.
Chris Seiter

April 16, 2015 at 3:43 pm

Have you done the NC rule on him yet?

Nicki

April 10, 2015 at 4:12 am

Hi Chris, my bf recently broke up with me after being together for 10 months, I’ve known him for 2 years, we were really close friends in school. We had fallen for each other unexpectedly, we have had a very loving relationship in the beginning but back in October we started fighting now and then but would never be mad at each other for more than a day.
We had an argument on the first of this month which was about me not trusting him. We ended up breaking up.We argued a lot with it ending with him blocking my number, I called him several times from a private number, calls he never answered, the next day he changed his number. I reached out to him on Facebook and tried to talk to him, he said he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me no more and that he just wanted me to leave him alone, he said I never change as he hates our constant fighting. He told me forcing him to be in a relationship with me was pushing him away even more
So I agreed to leave him alone
Told him I’ll give him his space to clear his head, also told him I’ll be waiting he told me not to
Because I won’t know his decision if he decides not to get back together with me
I told him bye & good luck
He said it back and blocked me
I have gotten a full block from my ex
Does that mean he’s not gonna come back?
I want to try the no contact rule but how am I to show him I’m ignoring him if he knows I have no way whatsoever to contact him
This guy has done so much for me and I have done so much as well
Didn’t grow up with a mother and cried all the time to see how much I did for him
Things his mother who is now in his life has never even done for him up to this day
Zoe

April 5, 2015 at 9:52 am

So I’ve been with a guy for nearly 3 months but all of a sudden out of the blue he’s decided that he should break up with me because he believes it’s for the best. I was his first girlfriend as before he never had any interest in having a girlfriend as he said he never connected to anyone enough to want to be with them until he met me. He told me only a week a go that he was in love with me but then last night he said that over the last few days he’s been having doubts because he said whilst he’s been away he’s not missed me as much as he thinks he should have. He has said that he is so used to being single that that’s where he is happier and although he loves me and knows we work and I make him happy he can’t continue the relationship. I’m so confused I just don’t know what to do. He’s had a moment like this around a month ago where he said he was freaking out about being in a relationship because of how long he’s been single but then he told me he wanted to keep going and that he didn’t want to lose me, this time he’s just decided that whilst he’s been away having fun with his mates that he doesn’t need me in his life anymore. What do I do?
Joanna

April 4, 2015 at 4:42 pm

Dear chris,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years and recently he dump me a week ago saying he wanted to be friends with me. He couldn’t stand guys texting me with flirty messages even though I did not flirt back. I found out a few days ago that he actually cheated on me from behind. And we had loads of quarrel this week. But today after reading your website. I started being nice to him and he also started telling me the truth about what he did with her. He said that he is only friends with her now but he also wants to be friends with me only. He needs time to think. And he text both me and her.beng nice and stuff .what should I do? He is the kind where Nc don’t work on him. 🙁 I need help to get him back.
abby

March 31, 2015 at 2:22 pm

Me and mt nd were together a little over 2 years. We broke up about a month ago now. I broke up with him because I felt as if he was more interested in video games then spending time with me anymore. I talked to him about this issue before not wanting to start an argument but that’s exactly What ended up happening everytime. He would see no issue with it and tell me it’s a hobby he enjoys, I agree with him but at the same time I felt as if he should learn to balance between the 2. Well after I broke up with him I immediately regretted it. I had taken all the stuff he bought for me back to him and him the same. Well we didn’t talk for 2 days or so. I would not text him first or anything, I’d always get texts from him wanting me to come and see him and stay with him. I felt like he just used me for sex or someone to be with when he was lonely and it hurt so bad. He’d tell me he missed me when we were together he’d want to cuddle and still treated me like I was his gf. This was very confusing to me and anytime I’d talk about our relationship he wouldn’t want to talk about it? So I’d give him space. When I leave that’s when I’d worry the most. (What he was doing, if he was talking to someone else when I was away, etc) once again I would not contact him. He’d always get ahold of me asking why I do not contact him. So I started to text him again and continue to see him every other few days. Well one night a few days ago when he called me when I got off work he accused me of talking to other guys when I dont. I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea to be seeing him anymore considering I felt like he was messing with my head and I was more confused than ever. I said you either want to be with me or you do not and that he needed to tell me What he wanted. He said he’s still trying to look past the times I always threatened to leave him at the end of our relationship. Which I did do that several times because I wanted him to listen to How I felt and he never was and I felt it was my only way out.He continued to tell me he still wanted to be with me. well he made plans with me that next day we talked everyThing was fine then told me his friend was at his house which he told me he had plans with him that night and would see me during that day. Well we never seen each other. He didn’t apologize for ditching me at all. Well I haven’t heard from him since I haven’t contacted him and he hasn’t me either and that was 3 days ago. Well just yesterday he deleted me from Facebook. I am so hurt and so lost and don’t know What to do at this point. We were together 2 years I don’t know How he could be this way towards me. I don’t know if he deleted me to try to get a reaction out of me or What. Or maybe the fact he seen other guys liking my pictures on Facebook? I need advice. Thank you so much
Nina

March 30, 2015 at 2:00 am

Hi Chris,

I can hardly even write me and my Ex broke up with me over the phone. He says its because I took a credit card with out his permission. And a family member had found the receipt. Is not a large amount but that was his excuse. About a week from the day he called this past Wednesday he had Not come to see me because he was “ill/flu” and when I asked if I could go to see him he said no perhaps my Parents may not want you here. When in fact 7 days earlier I was intimate in his room. It all seemed strange. I believe he has met someone over text I have asked he said no, but won’t pick up my phone calls and rarely text back. When he does he explains why of his decision that “if we were marry I would empty his Bank account or give too much help to my Family”. He is in his mid 40’s is a White Collar but lives with his Parents. I lived there till I found out his Dad was been shady with a neighbor not sure what was the reason. For his Father to hate me to an extended of kicking me out. That happened in Feb this year then we continued he only was able to come meet me during the weekends. His Mother is in denial but she wants me to accuse her Husband I can’t because I really don’t know why he hates me her Husband. All I said was that to my boyfriend how I heard a transaction preposition. Either for work or trade. Anyway during the first days of March he became very flirting with me very open sending kinks etc. Which I adored then the weekend came I had the best night in a long time. And Monday was a silent funeral. No text, no calls like in limbic state. Null… The coming week he got sick so that weekend is the one in question as to have had an acquaintance, met someone. But I can’t believe he scheme this since Feb because of his Father objections and influence that lead to a flux in his Mother to gather stuff against me. When the supposed tickets are a year old??? So I have all 3 against me. And here is the best part I took 3 pregnancy test one says Yes. It could be that I have high pressure a chemical imbalance or that I am with child. Under such hepatic circumstances. His worry seems to be the $$$ as he is paying Credit Card Debts. And recently that Monday he was “null” he was asked to give up the Tax Return a $3K cut from that check towards the mortgage Expenses. He emphasizes on text that “our relationship” ended for the reason I specified above “trust with money” but also says briefly (we need closure” He did said he had been crying and that it hurts to break up.) On Wednesday he did said he loved me but that he can’t continue with the relationship. I am confused and hopeless. I love this man and my situation just arrayed to more distance from him. His Mother on Friday said if you are Pregnant when the time comes there will be a DNA test and he will be responsible for the child. As if I was garbage, I am a Scientist I know who I slept with and responded in a harsh authority can he please communicate with me face to face. Break up was Wednesday and is now Sunday we haven’t spoken on the phone. And I would not tell that woman or him Maybe is a false alarm but what if is not. I need your advice I feel he is been taken hostage into an inflamed Mother and slashed against me. Or that him my Ex and the Parents planned this. And I didn’t expect it. Do I have a chance? Till Wednesday he used sweet words. And that March 7 He even spoke of marriage while making love. So I wish I know if I have any chance in persuade him towards positive thinking or no. Thankful site.
Nicole

March 26, 2015 at 3:45 am

Hey Chris,

I was wondering, could you give me a few examples of making it seem like it was his idea and not mine to take me back?

To shed some light on the situation, we’re currently three months into long distance, and have been dating for approximately 2 years.

Thanks!

admin

March 31, 2015 at 8:18 pm

Usually a lot of what you have to do to accomplish this effect is to influence him or touch him on an emotional level. This influence will make him think,

“I want this girl back.”

He thinks its his own idea when it was really your influence.

Mother0f2

March 25, 2015 at 11:13 pm

Hello! I really liked reading this!
So here’s my situation. I did a 30 NC and right around Jan. 30 my ex came around wanting to have a conversation. He told me he was thinking about us rekindling what we had because he misses his family. We’ve been doing really good, we still talk, joke and laugh together like we always have. I really want him back but I think he’s playing but I’m uncertain. He told me last week that he needs to know for certain that I’ve changed and asked me to do three things. Two of the things I’m already doing for my family (getting my insurance license and getting a new house), but the third thing is he wants me to let him borrow some money ($1k). He told me that that would prove to him a lot. Oh! before I forget he also has a girlfriend, but three weeks ago he told me he has absolutely NO problem leaving the girl to come back to his family. He also said he loves me, his loyalty is to me and he really wants to come back home. Last week even told my daughter that he wants to come back, told her he regrets what he has done to our family, and promised that he would come back once he got on his feet. Being the type of woman I am, I think he should come back and then we can work TOGETHER on getting him back on his feet. I have absolutely no gut feelings or emotion towards what he’s asking me to do, which is odd, but why do I have to loan him money before he comes back? Sadly, I want him back because I love him and want a two parent home for our children. I’ve never cared or loved a guy like I have for him and when we were together things were really good most of the time. No relationship is perfect of course! However, he and I have come a little ways because he wouldnt even consider getting back together at first. Self improvements in progress as I’m typing…. So how would make the idea of him coming back his with the situation I have? Another thing, how would I know if he is playing games (I hope not), I really don’t know what else I should do.

admin

March 31, 2015 at 8:12 pm

Glad you liked it!

Look at his actions and not his words to determine if he is playing games or not.

Kayla

March 18, 2015 at 8:34 am

My ex dumped me a month and a half ago. He says he still loves me and he always will, and has asked me to keep our engagement ring. He told me after we innicially broke up that it was because he couldn’t trust me due to some emotional trauma i went through with self harm. I am much better with it now that I have gotten help. I know it scared him, it scared me too. I accidentally left a bruise on his arm during an argument when he turned to walk away while I was holding onto him, and he knows it was an accident and said he already forgave me for it. But now, he is sending me mixed signals. He says he needs space and time, but he talks to me and sends me smilies at the end of messages, and even sent me a picture of himself with our kitten when I asked for a picture of the kitten. He is extra nice and acts the same way like when we were first getting to know eachother. He talks to me when we are in parties together on Xbox (which is how we met) and tells me about his struggles and good days since the break up. He also asked me to keep him updated when I was in the hospital for something minor. Even though he wouldn’t talk to me at all right after the break up, he says he will always love me and is having a hard time sending my clothes and stuff out to me. It seems like after I told him that we should try and distance ourselves a little more, he has started to try and remain close, contact wise. What does this mean?

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