What To Do After The No Contact Rule- Exact Steps To Take!

225 thoughts on “What To Do After The No Contact Period”

Octavia

January 11, 2018 at 9:41 pm

Hi there!

I received a positive response from a first contact message to my ex. My question is, within that 3 day period before texting again, if they don’t contact you doesn’t that show disinterest or am I looking at it wrong? Does being the one to keep initiating contact between you and the ex ever appear as you chasing them? Just a little stuck here because I would like to see some initiative or interest on their part.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2018 at 8:17 pm

Hi Octavia,

That’s normal because you don’t have rapport yet. It’s ok to initiate, what’s more important is that you’re the one ending the conversation at high point.

Emma

January 11, 2018 at 7:32 pm

I tried the NC for about 25 days with my ex, We was together for 3 years! We broke up quite badly didn’t really speak properly so i did the no contact rule for about 25 days but I can’t make myself attracted on social media because he doesn’t have Facebook and he’s deleted me of Instagram and Snapchat so he won’t see me doing good! When I did text him after 25 days he wasn’t interested he was blunt and then told me he’d moved on anyway and I should to. But he’s really stubborn. I think I begged it to much because once He said he was with someone it hurt me so much so i was texting him loads but I’ve stopped now. But I don’t know what to do shall I give up if he has moved on? Or is he just saying that’s cause he’s hurting it’s like he doesn’t feel any emotions anymore?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2018 at 8:10 pm

Hi Emma,

it’s ok if he doesn’t have a social media account because there’s still a chance that he will check your account through a friend’s account. So, you still need to be active in posting, you just have to make them public. If you want to, try the nc rule one last time and do 45 days.

Ree

January 6, 2018 at 5:49 am

Or as an alternative – his favourite all time movie was Anchorman. I could possibly send a text saying, guess what I just watched for the very first time? And then wait to see if I get a reply?
Any thoughts/ suggestions

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 1:36 am

Hi Ree,
The second one is better in terms of mystery but the first one could do better in getting a reply for an initial text..

Ree

January 6, 2018 at 5:44 am

Hi. I have only just begun my NC but am wondering for my first text, something that we discussed and shared was a love of Tom green comedy. I was thinking if I send a small video clip of one of the funniest moments and just write : needed to share this with someone like minded Can’t stop giggling.

I have no idea what category this would belong in or of its a good idea for a first text.
Please let me know. Thanks
Kelly

January 3, 2018 at 8:32 pm

Hey Amor, its me again (the one with the confusing and affectionate breakup and the one who asked about sending a dog picture). I just wanted your thoughts on something. So I sent him the picture a few days after getting a positive response from sending a Christmas text. He replied with “good photo, thanks.” And I responded with “of course. What are you I up today?”and got no response. A few days after that was New Year’s Eve so I sent a text that said “Happy New Years!” And was left on read with no response. So now a few days after that, I went to look at his instagram and saw that i was suddenly blocked (when I wasn’t the day before). I had my friend who follows him look at what he pasted and it was the very same picture i had sent him nearly a week ago! Why do you think he blocked me from that when I’m not blocked on any other social media or messaging app that we use? I am thinking of probably doing a longer no contact again or just waiting until he sends something to me. My accounts are not private so anyone can see whatever i post. But now I’m worried that if i post anything on any other site that he may block me on those too. What are your thoughts on that?
Now what’s interesting is that I am very close with his family and his mom sent me a message on Christmas saying that everyone was thinking about me and that they missed me. His stepdad did the same thing on New Years. They both used affectionate nicknames for me and we had pleasant conversations and I know that they know we are no longer together. I am very happy when they message me but I wonder what it means if they’re speaking to me and being very nice while i am no longer in a relationship with their son. They did this the first time we broke up as well (which was for about two years and it was approx. two years ago when we broke up- only because of distance).
Sorry for all of the questions. I am just really confused by lots of things and am not sure how to go throughout this really painful and delicate process of breaking up and trying to get back together again. I have a gut feeling that while things are over for now, we will eventually get back together after a bit of time and space and I don’t want to give up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 9:31 pm

it’s either to stop himself from looking at your posts or to see if you would react.

Luna

January 2, 2018 at 8:12 am

Hello, i think my last comment got deleted so i’ll try again. After 30 days of strict NC i decided to wish my ex happy new year and thank him for the last year we spent together. This was my first message to him. He responded by saying thank you, wishing „all the best, take care of yourself” and he added a smiley face. He didn’t ask me any question though, didn’t ask how i was doing… Was it a neutral message? I guess so… When should I message him again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 4, 2018 at 6:46 pm

Hi Luna,

check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Dana

January 1, 2018 at 11:30 pm

He broke up with me a week ago, in a very calm way. I haven’t spoken to him since. I guess I’ve been doing the NC for 7 days but the only social media he’s on is Snapchat. After I posted a picture that he hasn’t opened to look at, he blocked me. I don’t know why and now he doesn’t know what I’m doing… I’m not sure what else I can do, just continue with NC?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:20 pm

Hi Dana,

Yes, continue on in nc and be active in Instagram or Fb, just make your posts public and do posts that doesn’t disappear after 24 hours

Luna

January 1, 2018 at 3:28 pm

After 30 days of NC i sent a message to my ex just to wish him a happy new year. He responded: „thank you. i wish you all the best too, take care of yourself” and he added a smiley face. Is it a neutral message? I guess so… Should I contact him again? If yes – when? He didn’t ask me any question though. Please, help :/

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 4, 2018 at 6:46 pm

Hi Luna,

check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

CDB

December 31, 2017 at 7:09 pm

I have blocked my ex’s social media accounts so that I won’t excessively look at them. How do I use my social media to show him my new confidence and peaque his curiosity? Do I have to wait until after the NC period is over to unblock and re-friend him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 11:11 pm

Hi CDB,

unblock him but don’t send a friend request. Just make your posts public.

Linda

December 30, 2017 at 11:13 am

I did the 31 days NC and got a positive respond at first , then I waited 5 days and continue to text again but no respond from my ex. So I text my ex again 7 days later and received a negative respond. So shall I continue another round of NC period?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 10:28 pm

Hi Linda,

yup, do one last nc and check this one:
The Stages of Not Getting a Text Back From Your Ex and How to Survive Them

Rachel

December 30, 2017 at 10:48 am

Oh, and yes I have been doing things for myself since the breakup like working out, exploring new places or restaurants with my friends, spending more time with my family and new born nephew, trying and learning new hair style, teaching myself a new language, and I’ve been sharing those on my social media. He still follows me on my social media (and I deleted him from everything fyi) but the social medias I have are not really the ones he uses. Not sure if he even still has the apps or not. But yeah

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 10:27 pm

Hi Rachel, it’s a neutral response.. check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Rachel

December 30, 2017 at 10:41 am

So I texted my ex after 21 days of no contact(I decided to go with a 21 day one from the beginning. it was a short term relationship that ended during a heated argument. I went straight to NC right away and mailed his stuff the next day) I started with a “Remember (the thing we did together laughing out loud)? I just heard the song and it reminded me of you! Hope you doing well” and he texted back 20 minutes later with a “I’m doing good. I hope the same for you” So I think this is a neutral response…? as he didn’t react to the memory part yet still texted back… Or is it a positive one? What do I do!
Trish

December 28, 2017 at 1:47 pm

I did no contact for 30 days. I only started 3 conversations. But like I said, he has a girlfriend now and I find it hard to keep the conversations going. I feel like he is just being polite and I know that I won’t be able to get him to agree to meet up with me now that she’s in the picture.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 8:19 pm

3 conversations is not going to build enough rapport and attraction.. try the being there method.

Kelly

December 26, 2017 at 7:02 pm

We broke up on Nov 24th and yesterday was the first time either of us contacted each other. I did send a text and all it said was “Merry Christmas” and he responded right away with “Merry Christmas, hope you have a good day :)” I am pretty happy with that because it seems like a positive response. I didn’t reply and am planning to text him something in three days if he doesn’t send anything during then. Do you think that’s a good idea?
I’m trying to not read too much into whether or not he sends anything during the 3 days because I am thinking that he may be waiting for me to start the conversations.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 1:30 am

Yes, you can do that..continue improving yourself and doing posts that doesn’t disappear after 24 hours

Trish

December 26, 2017 at 2:58 pm

I started a new conversation and received a reply. He’s always nice when he responds. Told me to be safe out in the snow storm. But he has a new girlfriend. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve read all the articles on how to get him back when he likes someone new or dates someone new.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 1:20 am

How long did you do nc and how long have you been building rapport?

Alia

December 26, 2017 at 5:37 am

My NC period ended yesterday (Christmas day). I debated over what to say, and decided a light-hearted text saying, “Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy your day” was more likely to elicit a response than ‘the curiosity text’ because my ex detests people who beat around the bush.

I sent the message, put my phone away, and then went back to celebrating Christmas with my family. After dinner, I checked my phone. My ex responded positively saying, “Thanks, you too :)”. Given the nature of his reply, I decided to send a second text (granted, I had not read this article prior and didn’t realise I should wait three days to send a second text). He hasn’t responded. Did I mess up? What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2017 at 10:39 pm

Hi Alia,

You can still text him 3 days after your second text

H

December 24, 2017 at 8:42 am

Met a guy on a sperm donation site, we really started talking 2 months after first contact. Took him a week to fly over to see me. We talked every day for a while about everything. When he got me pregnant something changed, he went quiet, said he was just that way, stopped sharing things with me. He came to the 12 week appointment but was texting someone else. He was in my country at 6 months of pregnancy with some girlfriend and didn’t bother seeing me. I tried no contact for almost a month, had no effect. He says he has no feelings or an emotional connection but how he acts towards me in person says the complete opposite. He has two kids and a 10 year relationship with a woman he plans on marrying next year. Right now he is silent and ignoring me. What shoukd I do next??

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 26, 2017 at 7:21 pm

Hi H,

You should move on from him.. If you want your child to get to know him, talk to him if he wants to be a part of it..

Kelly

December 21, 2017 at 8:03 pm

Hi Amor,
We broke up because he said he was not feeling the same way anymore. I’m guessing that means he got bored or lost attraction. As far as the breakup itself, it was very weird because I was crying a lot (couldn’t help it!) but there was no anger or anything. Oddly enough, he’s not someone who shows his emotions very easily but by the time he left he was crying. During the whole time we were talking as he was breaking up with me, he was really physically affectionate… we were both sitting on my bed and he pulled me close to him, would lean his head against mine, etc. He even kissed me a few times, Im so confused! Should I still go forward with the Christmas text (and with or without picture)?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 25, 2017 at 9:06 pm

oh ok, but when did you break up? did you send the text?

Trish

December 21, 2017 at 7:56 pm

Well, after waiting 3 days from the positive response after initial contact, I reached out again. He responded and then I responded but never heard anything back. Although my text could have been a conversation ended ‘Hope all has been well’. But he didn’t say anything. Tomorrow would be day 3-no texts. But do I reach out on day 4?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 25, 2017 at 8:41 pm

If he didn’t respond, use a new topic when you initiate again to start a new conversation

Kelly

December 20, 2017 at 9:23 pm

Hey there,
Firstly- I may have accidentally sent an imcomplete message right before this. I apologize if that happened!
Secondly- I’m so thankful for this website because it gives me lots of hope.
I have a question-
My no contact ends on dec 24… Christmas Eve. There has been absolutely no contact between us except for when I post something on my Snapchat story or Instagram. All posts have purposely been positive because I know he sees them. Now, since contact ends on the 24th, would it be considered too boring to text him on the 25th to just wish him merry Christmas? I’m not sure if I should include anything else. I don’t even know if that would be enough to get him to respond. Maybe something about his dog? I’m not sure. I have some good pictures of the two that he hasn’t seen and I think he might like them. Would that be appropriate and effective to send?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 10:52 pm

Hi Kelly,

When and why did you break up?

« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

225 thoughts on “What To Do After The No Contact Period”