What To Do If You Get The Dreaded "No Response" After No Contact

579 thoughts on “What To Do If You Get The Dreaded No Response After No Contact”

kim

November 18, 2015 at 3:11 am

Hi Chris I I left my kids father for another man about 3 years ago we have 2 kids together and a12 year relationshipbut he drug problem that I stuck by him with for years so a year ago he went and got help for his drug addiction and in the process met another girl I believe there together I want him back so bad by the way I ended with the guy I left him for but my kids dad acts like I don’t matter to him at all anymore and I’m in Delaware and he’s in Connecticut that’s where he went to the drug program and they helped him get a job up there and that’s where he met the new girl how do I get him back we talk here and there about the kids and he came down to his mom’s in Delaware and had me drop the kids off to him there but every time I bring up wanting my family back and that the kids want us back as a family he don’t wanna talk about it please help me to get my man home I miss our family so much I love him more now then I ever have what do I do

kim

November 18, 2015 at 3:19 am

The drug addiction and stealing from me and the kids is what i believe pushed me to the other guy but hes clean now and i want my family back please helpHis drug problem is why I left to begin with I think the guy I went with was a rebou d of really not wanting to be alone but I stayed for years with his drug addiction then the stealing got to bad that’s why I left

Vachel

November 16, 2015 at 8:23 am

Hi Chris, I have just done with the NC for 30 days and I texted the ex-boyfriend. There is totally no response from him after few messages were sent out. I told him that I miss him so much (which I am not supposed to tell him so) I am clueless on what to do next? Is that mean that I should give up on him? Thank you for your advise!

Vachel

November 25, 2015 at 3:07 am

I have been blocked by him (in FB and whatsapp) after some messages have been sent to him.
What should I do next? 🙁
Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 6:27 am

Go back into no contact for 2 weeks. What other options do you have to contact him?

Annie

November 13, 2015 at 9:33 pm

Hi Chris.
I met this guy at a friends’ wedding (my friend is his cousin). He is from the US and I am from another country. That day we just sat and talked a lot..I told him I was plannig to move to the US next year since I have a green card and at the end that day we just kissed.
Two months later he wrote me on facebook that he wanted to contact me and gave me his email. Then I wrote him and he gave me his phone number and we started texting. Everyday we texted from the morning to late at night. He was the one who started texting most of the time. We have many things in common and we think the same about most of the thing.
Three months later I went to his city to meet him. I stayed at a hotel. He was nice and caring.. he showed me his city, took me to very nice places.. even paid for what I drank or ate. I stayed for two days, the first day nothing happend but the second day we had sex.
I came back to my country.. we did not talk about us or in what position we stand but he kept texting me everyday… I even ghosted him to see what happend and he kept contacting me, one day he even started a sexting… 5 months after I first visited I planned a trip to his city again .. he told me we were supposed to meet… one day he texted me ” I must ask, what is the purpose of your trip?”..since we never talked about having any kind of relationship I told him I was going on vacations to distract myself and I would like to meet with him…
but I think he didn’t like my answer because the week before I arrived he told me we were only going to meet for a lunch and nothing more.
Two days before I arrived he changed dramtically his texting habits.. he barely texted and when I was there he just texted me to check if I had arrive and to tell me the time and place where we were meeting.
We met for 1.5 hour, we talked like friends but at the end he asked me for a kiss.
He texted me the next day just one text asking how went a job interview that I had. And then never again… I texted him one week later and the answered nicely and kept texting all afternoon until 8 pm.. the two weeks passed and I texted him again and he answered me nicely and kept texting for many hours. But now a week passed and he has not texted me.
I don’t understand why he texted me for so long .. like 8 months and all of the sudden.. nothing!!
Should I do the no contact rule? Or just give up on him??
Amanda

November 10, 2015 at 4:43 am

Hey Chris, I don’t know what else to do. I did 30 day no contact. I texted him with “I have a confession to make”..no response. Two weeks later I texted him with “I heard something I think you’ll want to hear”..again, no response. I am not quite sure what to do at this point. Any help would be appreciated-even if it’s not what I want to hear. Thank you!

Chris Seiter

November 19, 2015 at 5:34 am

Go back into no contact for 2 weeks and then try a memory text. Do you know if he is getting your texts? Is it possible he has you blocked?

pd

November 8, 2015 at 8:26 am

Hi chris please help me in getting my ex back
Kait

November 6, 2015 at 7:34 pm

Hi Chris, I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasnt wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things arent the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesnt feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? Please help.
Amanda

November 6, 2015 at 3:37 pm

My boyfriend split from his ex 11 months ago but she never stopped contacting him and begging for him back. He never responded to her texts or calls and told me he hated her as the relationship was bad.

Me and him have been together for 6 months but I felt I need to end it a month ago as I didn’t feel the relationship was going anywhere. However, I missed him and contacted him 2 weeks later saying I missed him. He was so happy and took me back. 2 days later I receive a text from his ex saying he came back to her and they were in a relationship. She forwarded me his texts saying he loved her and he even bought her presents with promises of the future. I confronted him and his response was “me and him were over at that time”. I told him I understood that but it didn’t take him long to get over me and I was mad that he never told me when we got back together.

To cut a long story short, I ended it and he is now back with his ex again. I told him I would never take him back (even though he never asked for me back) It’s been 8 days and I’ve had no contact from him. Will NC work for me?
t

November 5, 2015 at 4:13 pm

Hi, i so desperate i’ve lost my soul mate. we were together in a LDR for 2 years he lived in the usa with me for 6 months and i reocated to ireland for him for a 5 months. I have to leave because my visa exspired and he asked me to marry him out of what was desperation and i said no i have told him since i regret it as i miss him now and he’s agreed that it was not the best idea that it should not be asked based off of convinience but he has broken up with me for a reason he will not say then ignored me for 2 months!. We had a great relationship i have been so confused i have asked him why many times and the answers he gives he knows is bs. He even flirted with me but i told him im interested in a relationship again. Since then he has been off and on contacting me he said i should be happy and date other people and i should not wait for him to finish school but then he has said that he cant imagine his future without me and sounded like he wanted to be with me again. Then went cold turkey again after he promised he would not ignore me again. First he is hot then cold. I am so confused. He asked me 2 days into nc why was’nt i responding said he was worried bc i did just move to a new city so i assured him i was fine and that i can’t take his stringing me along then he went cold turkey again and wont respond. I want to die im so depressed and i have made a fool of myself i feel by putting my heart on the line over and over,i cant fly there and talk to him in person. I offered to come visit for the holidays when he said he missed me but he said ” Its too soon and not to come he does’nt want to string me along” So confusing! Why did he say he misses me then? I dont know what else to do, i feel so bad about myself. Please.
Kerry

November 5, 2015 at 2:52 pm

Hi Chris,
Please help! My ex (who is always the one to come around after a fight/break up) has not responded after four weeks. He said two words to me last week and that’s all. What should I do?? I don’t want to reach out to him because I don’t want him knowing I’m still into him. We were together for about 3 years. Please help!
Emma

November 4, 2015 at 11:29 am

Hi Chris,
Ok I don’t really know where to start. Me and my now ex boyfriend met 10 months ago and originally I wanted nothing to do with him cause I wasn’t interested but after three months of him texting me I finally agreed to go out for drinks with him. I really enjoyed myself so agreed that I’d start seeing him. We were seeing each other for about a month and then we slept together and he asked me out. I said yes cause I’d started to like him more. He was constantly texting me for the first couple of months calling me beautiful, gorgeous and saying he was lucky to have me etc. I then went on the pill and my mood started deteriorating and I started getting angry at him for the silliest things. He started to distance himself and after six months of us being together he broke up with me. I came straight off the pill and now I feel amazing. Only one thing. I’ve lost the guy I love. For the first week I messaged him everyday and only got one response and then I gave up. I’ve read your advice and I’m not contacting him or seeing him until he’s ready. But I don’t know how to get him back. When we broke up he said he still loved me and that that would never change. He also said that he thought that I’d be happier without him which isn’t true at all. I miss him everyday and I just want him back. He told me he would never get back with me. How do I get him to change his mind? Xxx
Cortney

November 4, 2015 at 12:21 am

My husband and his mother put a false no contact order on me. His mother is entirely too involved in our relationship. Since I have the NC rule by default I’m doing everything u suggested until this order is removed next summer. We have an infant son together and I love him very much so I don’t want to give up however the waiting game is very difficult. My attorney in the meanwhile is trying to get it overturned however I want to know if these same rules apply after a year of not speaking? It’s been 4 months now. I miss him terribly and I know that if his mother wasn’t trying to sabotage our marriage that this wouldn’t have happened. I think he still loves me…
Rin

November 1, 2015 at 9:46 pm

I’m doing the no contract,today is day 7.Man is it hard.He texted me on day 4,I didn’t respond.He hasn’t reaching out again since then.I have been crying but keep telling me stay strong.Hard to not thinking about him and us,we have an event to attend together on day 21.I’m nervous that I will get emotional on that day.Should I start a 30 days no contract after that or what?
Liezl

October 31, 2015 at 9:49 am

hi Chris,
I know i may sound crazy but when i first read your articles, i tried the NC, got my ex back, and he actually proposed which i accepted. However, he is still doing things which he knows upset me…..Lies are still ongoing…..so i told him to call me when he is totally and fully committed to me but until then we just need to do things which we like doing. From then I get no messages or calls. its been 6 days now….is this considered NC on my part? Because i believe what i said to him is not a break up but just a rest for the two of us for what had happened after the proposal which is actually a huge step for him. I will really appreciate your response , Chris. Thank you and more power!
CaMi

October 30, 2015 at 12:52 am

Hi, Chris. I’m actually in an unsual LDR situation. We met on the internet through music. At first, I didn’t have so much interest, though I found him pretty hot, because we live far away from each other. He lives on the States and I in SouthAmerica. i did send him movie and music links and at some point we couldn’t stop talking to each other so we move from chat to phone. He used to call me and we talked for hours. Then, he told me he was planning to make a tour here (he’s a musician) and that’s when i really thought it was a possibility of a relationship. He asked money borrow and finally came here after talking to me for three months.
We got along great, going out every day to have dinner and buy records. He said he’ll come back in February and then he’ll want to spend a couple of months here with me but that he needed me to go “to him” before that because it was too far ahead. I tried to apply for the American Visa for September but since I was rejected in June I thought it was too soon and was best to wait until December. After that, he completely freaked out and asked me for a “pause”. To make it short, for the past several months, this “pause” changed shape from “I love you, let’s try in February” to “I don’t want a long distance relationship”. I never lied about the country I lived in…and I tried to find ways to fix the situation -I offered him to come here in September and I offered him to travel there in December-, which he refused. The odd part is that he still was saying he loved me and he still wanted to talk to me almost everyday, but I thought he was emotionally using me and I didn’t agree on that. I ended up blocking him. Now, he’s on tour til Decemeber and really want him back….what do you recommend me to do?
Ina

October 28, 2015 at 8:22 am

Hi chris, not too sure if you can help me.
I’m newly married; And i realise after marriage that my husband and i have different views on sex. Basically we havent had sex in a mth plus. Seems rather long considering the fact that we’ve been married for approx 2mths. The thing is, i crave for more sex. But my husband doesn’t. The few times i tried to talk to him abt it. We’ll always end up arguing. He’d say i dont understand, how tired he is (he’s working full time and studying part time) that to him, sex takes up so much time and energy; something that he doesn have. And im left feeling frustrated. He says give him time. After his exams maybe; thats in 3wks time!

I really dont know what to do anymore. I feel the more he refuses to have sex with me, the more i will feel distant from him. So much so that when he actually does want to have sex, i wont want to give myself in.

What should i do? 🙁
Coco

October 27, 2015 at 3:51 pm

Hi Chris

I have a problem, my ex was catfished and harassed as me. He was prepared to let it go but it continued unbeknownst to me. Through a 3rd party i was told he NEVER wants anything to do with me again. We get along so well and it was never me doing the harassing and ive now involved authorities. Do u have any suggestions on how to handle this situation? Thanks

Chris Seiter

December 4, 2015 at 1:50 pm

Let him know that you contacted the authorities regarding this situation and that your not taking it lightly.

Confused

October 25, 2015 at 2:32 pm

Hi Chris,

It’s gonna be a very long comment, hope you’ll have a chance to reply to this.

My bf and I had a relationship for 5 years, we broke up last two months because of misunderstandings and I thought he’ll pursue me, but he did not 🙁 I was the one who initiated the breakup, because I noticed that he’s not putting effort anymore.

At first, I was in in denial stage that I can handle our sudden breakup, and be happy on my own. But week passed, and I realized that I was wrong, I can’t 🙁 So I started to become text and call gnat, of course, just like what you said on the other articles, guys are irritated by that action, he sometimes ignore me, but there were times that he’s responding positively to my text. We even see each other and talked and I begged him to come back to me, but he said that it’s not right, he must be the one to pursue me, but he just don’t know what to feel, he’s confused at that moment 🙁 It was a great night, we had dinner then laughed. Another week has passed, and I really can’t stand how he’s ignoring my texts and calls, then one day, I went to their place. He was very mad at first, we talked and I was crying and begging for him to come back to me. He was silent, then an hour later, he leaned on me and said sorry and said okay, let’s start over again. He and I were crying, and I thought that’s it! I won him back, but no 🙁

I noticed that I am always the one who initiated to say I love you and sweet stuffs, although in my mind, I’m thinking “maybe he’s still hurt”, so I ignore it. Until one night, I confronted him, then he said, he just don’t feel it, then I cried and walked away. And we’re done 🙁 But we had a very sincere phone call conversation when I got home. He told me that he’s not the way he used before, he didnt want to hurt me at all, but he didnt want to come back to me until he wakes up, he said that he’ll come back to me, I just have to trust him, and he said we have to become a better version of ourselves so once we get back together, there’s no turning back.

I already implemented the NC rule and I used the “I have a confession to make” first text message at night. He responded positively, and after an hour I replied back with something that would remind him of the moments we shared together and said that somehow it made me smile. Then he replied with something like, “thank you and I was still able to make you smile” yada, yada, yada. Then I didn’t reply back.

The next morning, I texted and reminded him to watch his/our favorite show, then greeted him good morning. After 4 hours, He replied with I have work today so I won’t be able to watch it live (supposed to be their day off but they had to accomplish their project asap), he’s kinda busy lately. Three hours later, (after our favorite show), I texted him and said that too bad he wasn’t able to watch it live, and said take care and don’t stress yourself too much. Then after that, he didn’t respond until today (it is suppose to be the third day after NC rule). I texted him this morning about the place we used to go, and another one this afternoon, just reminiscing the past. And still no reply knowing that it’s his free time. What am I suppose to do now? Should I still believe that he’ll come back in time? 🙁

Please help, I really don’t know what to do, and my confidence dropped down again, although you said that it was just the beginning of getting him back, but, I’m so lost again 🙁

Thank you so much for your quick response regarding this matter, Chris.
Annaliese

October 22, 2015 at 4:26 am

So I waited 40 days. I didn’t even plan on breaking contact until a full 60 days passed, but let’s just say hormones and a lack of chocolate.

No response. Nada. Nothing.

I know that I not only was the one who decided to end contact, I blogged my reasons fully knowing he reads my blog. Then in my search to find a way to rekindle whatever that crazy magic was in the beginning, I stumbled upon you. So I decided to give it a go before I release completely.

Cliffs notes version: we dated for less than two months before the ex saw our fb check-ins and suddenly reappeared after nine months. I felt a shift in our relationship before I figured out she was back and gave him the soft pitch exit. After a few weeks, he remembered why it ended with her to begin with. We began talking again and hanging out simply as friends, however, we had rituals and habits and inside jokes. Tenderness. Then be met someone else again and dropped his interest in me once more. I lambasted the treatment and swore I would never be “The In Between” again in my blog.

I sent my text this afternoon. No response. I’m probably an idiot for missing the absolute amazing way it was considering it was so brief and ended as quickly as it began. Regardless, before I cut those last threads, I figured it would be a good idea to get your take on what I’ve outlined here since your site doesn’t cover my precise situation. I mean, I’m pretty sure I would have pissed him off with my blog since that’s what I wanted to do. You know, to cut ties even if I calmed down and wanted to give it one more go.

I would really love it if you gave me a little insight. Thanks in advance….
Jess

October 22, 2015 at 12:36 am

Hi Chris
4 years ago I met someone, thru his work, and we both had that instant attraction to each other, despite the fact that we were both already in relationships.
Over a period of 4 months there was a lot of flirting on both sides, that then concluded with him coming to briefly visit me a couple of times. It was intimate, but we didn’t sleep together. He then then told me that he couldn’t see me again, as if he was around me any longer that we would have slept together.
I let him go, thinking that would be the end of it. The following week he contacted me to see how I was, which was confusing, and again a month later, by which time I was really confused, as I was trying to forget about him. He mentioned to me, that him and his partner were probably going to be moving soon back to his home town, and it would be good for us to have some space between us.
A month or so later I txt him, but when he was talking mid txt conversation, he just disappeared. I followed up with another txt a few days later, but still no reply.
Living in the same town, I would often see him driving around, and we would both always give that friendly wave, and of course I was still thinking and wondering about him, and did he still care etc. I was really infatuated with him.

Fast forward 3 1/2 years. I needed to get him out of my head and move on so I sent him a friendly txt to see how he was, thinking that I probably wouldn’t even get a reply.
I was shocked but happy, when he said that he had thought of me often, and thought of visiting me but felt guilty, and talked of how it would be good to see each other, and when would be a good time to catch up.
4 months ticked by, and every month or couple of weeks I would txt him. He mentioned again how that he would soon be moving back to his home town.
The txt messages became more heated and turned into sexting, and he told me how he would be leaving in just over a month.
He eventually got in touch and he ended up visiting, and we had a brief but intimate encounter., but again didn’t sleep together. The following few days we had very heated sexting sessions.
He said he was having a couple of weeks off work to spend with his daughter, and to go for his new job interview, so I left him be, with the plan of seeing him again before he left.
Then in that time the dreaded happened. While we had never been friends of FB for obvious reasons, I found he had blocked me. I didn’t think too much of it, but then found that he had finished his job and moved. A couple of weeks later I sent him a friendly txt to see how his interview had gone, (because in theory he shouldn’t have moved yet) and got no reply.
That was 2 weeks ago.
So Chris what has happened, what could he possibly be thinking and what should I do?

Thank you!
Janet

October 20, 2015 at 12:54 am

Hi Chris,
I am in a tough different situation that i don’t know how to handle. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR, i had to leave to further my studies. We have been dating for only two months but are very close and inseparable. We meant everything to each other. About a week ago, i noticed that he had changed and we were communicating fewer times than we previously did. So i tried addressing the situation and he assured me that he loved me and nothing was wrong. He however didn’t change and would miss out on Skype dates or phone call dates. So i wrote him an email and told him that he was hurting me and he had to change for us to continue otherwise our LDR wouldn’t work. I was giving more than i was getting. I then texted him and told him i wasn’t gonna call or text him unless he called. He didn’t respond for 3 days and i texted him trying to get him to communicate then he said he would call me the following day. He didn’t. I tried reaching out but he didn’t respond so i cut all communications and blocked him everywhere. so he can’t reach me. I just don’t know if i’m being too dramatic or he’s just having a moment. Should i still completely cut contact with him just yet? Including blocking him. Blocking him also helps me feel so much better because i don’t expect his call and i don’t have to constantly hope for him to contact me. Please advice. Thanks 🙂