What To Do If You Get The Dreaded "No Response" After No Contact

579 thoughts on “What To Do If You Get The Dreaded No Response After No Contact”

Dara

April 26, 2016 at 5:07 am

Hi! Just want to thank your team for doing this. Succeed or not (of course let’s all hope we get the result we want), the support system you created has helped with the situation by so much already.
I’ve been lurking for awhile but I guess I finally got to this point where I’m super helpless and hope to get some advice.
I met this guy at the workplace. We clicked immediately and finally started dating a month after I started the job. For the three month that we dated he kept insisting that I was just his date not his girlfriend, and me wanting to look laid back went with the flow although it confused the hell out of me since we acted exactly like a couple in every possible way. That might sound flakey but he’s actually a very sincere person who made me feel safe. (or maybe that was him faking lol?)
Two months ago I took this great opportunity but it came with a temporary relocation. We agreed that we were gonna keep dating and I said I was gonna go back at least once a month. A month later I went back for the first time, which become the day he broke up with me. He said he misunderstood friendship as romantic feelings. It came out of the blue. On the day I left we were good and all the texts we sent when I was away were still affectionate. I didn’t know what happened but I think I handled the breakup pretty well.
Then I started the NC. I’ve been busy at work also I tried to improve myself for both my own sake and my new job, so it worked out in a weird way. I’ve been meeting lots of new friends (not to keep me distracted, but that I really wanted to know them) and I’ve done so many things I’ve never tried before (also not really for him, I just wanted to try them). So even the NC was sort of a great NC. For the entire month I miss him a lot but at the same time I’ve been able to keep calm and content and not really thinking about us that much. That being said, the situation allowed me to realize that I don’t “need” this person– I have a good job, a nice group of friends and hobbies that I love doing– I could probably easily give up on us (and I won’t breakdown) but I know I will regret it if I did because I love him and I love what we had.
However he’s not social media active, there’s no way to know what he’s up to. He hasn’t contacted me not even once, dead silence. It’s my 32 day of NC so I’m starting to get a bit anxious. The question is really simple– should I contact him (consider how strongly he convinced himself we weren’t bf/gf and that he never really liked me in a romantic way, and that I’m in a different city now and won’t be back for another month)? I know this is long, thank you for finishing this. I really appreciate it. I just don’t know what to do and hope to grab onto something.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 6:59 am

Hi Dara,

I think you need to be clear with yourself.. and I have to be honest with you..he made a point to let you know that he’s not serious.. so don’t expect much after nc.. you have to approach it in a way that you’re starting over and that you’re trying to build attraction and not continuing from what you had before.. but be cautious.. if he’s not going serious in time it’s better that you just move on

Sara

April 20, 2016 at 4:19 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks so much for what y’all do here. I bought the book ExBoyfriend Recovery Pro and it’s given me great hope that I can get my twin flame back. I messaged him after NC and got a positive/neutral response, but since then I haven’t gotten anything from him. I waited 2 weeks in between the first no response text and the second, but how long do I wait before trying to send another? Do I do another 30 days of NC? After reading this article, I’m sure my texts weren’t interesting enough, but I’m also unsure of how to seem more interesting. I’m so nervous! Please help!

Sara

April 22, 2016 at 6:07 pm

He has me blocked on social media so will posting there be effective?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 5:40 am

between messages? Oops, I think we’re misunderstanding each other.. For me you should do no contact.. and then after that proceed to texting phase again.. building up that would lead to calls and dates.. yes, you should still be active in posting because he might be checking that through another account or a friend might see and ask him about it..
Sara

April 21, 2016 at 7:35 pm

Should I stick to 2 weekish between messages? He’s got me blocked on social media so he can’t see anything there. I thought for sure I’d be able to get him answer a Batman vs. Superman question!
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 21, 2016 at 12:57 pm

it’s tricky because the more you do nc, the less the effect but if you message again sooner, you would be a gnat.. so it’s better to just do another nc.. contnue to be active and posting about it, list interesting topics for him..especially the ones that are more appropriately current like news, tv shows, current sport event.. you can try to inquire or suggest.

T

April 18, 2016 at 10:29 pm

We did kind of end in a bad way. I mean, I did apologize previously before going into NC but maybe I should say something to let him know I mean no harm or whatever…. maybe something like “hey, so I know where we ended before wasn’t the best, but I just wanted to start over. I do apologize again for how everything went down and hope you’ve been doing well. ^^” do you think saying that after my initial contact message will put me at a disadvantage or make me seem like I still want him or can’t let go of the break up or relationship? :S I feel like I need to be extra careful now, especially since the first contact message didn’t work

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 20, 2016 at 9:02 am

Yeah, you shouldn’t message him right ahead..for me it should be more natural next time.. like a birthday..something he really will answer to.. an inquiry.. or something that happened currently that he will probably be opinionated about.. or something that he will benefit from

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 1:24 pm

Hi Jo,

I think you should take the opportunity to rebuild rapport with him
alicia

April 10, 2016 at 3:35 pm

havr already done more the 30days no contact. bit there was no response and soon after text messaged him but still no response. A week later i texted him again bit still no response. we work together and haven beem talking in fact he was avoiding me. but recent 2 weeks he begin to stop avoiding me and taking the initiative to talk to me but all purely about work? I really dont know what is he thinking if he opens himself up to talk during work why wont he respond to any text(so far sent 2). what should i do next? we dont usually have to interact too much but as far as im concerned i do notice certain weird stares from him or even him appearing nearby more often this 2weeks. im not sure if he has moved on and just try to act normal or if his really peeking at me.but wont respond to any text messages still.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 11, 2016 at 7:27 am

If that’s the case, stop texting.. Let him happen naturally since you’rec co workers.. I think you can try slowly to be friendly whenever he talks to you

Amber

March 26, 2016 at 1:08 pm

HELPPPPPP!!!!
So i was with my ex fiance for almost two years, and we use to be so amazing! He was and still to this day is a great guy. We got pregnant really early into our relationship like 2 months and we could not have been happier! He is 28 and I just turn 23, I also already had a daughter from a previous marriage so getting involved with him was scary. I really put my trust into him For the last two yers he was good to my daughter, good to me and then we finally gave birth to my second daughter. I can not even begin to describe how happy we were! Another girl was never a question I had because he never seemed to be like that then like i said our daughter was born. Everything changed. When she was 6 months old he proposed me and I of course said YES!!!! At this time I was talking care of two kids, going to college full time and I was stressed! It really put a damper on our relationship. We started fighting what seemed liked everyday except when did not have the girls a day during the weekend. We did everything together and it was great. Then it happened……………………..It was a Thursday he kicked me and watched the girls as I went to school, later when I got home there was something taped to the door. It was an eviction notice telling me that my daughter, our daughter, and I had 3 days to get out. I was completely lost and hurt! i did everything I catered to him, i was faithful I loved him and I never gave up when times were tough. How could he do this? Well I he came back telling he wanted to do whatever we could to fix this ! He said he loved me and he did not want to lose me. So i moved ut and we stayed together because we thought maybe some time apart and only seeing each other a couple days a week would be good NO!!!! it tore us further apart he was spending more time with his friends then with the girls and I which turned back into fighting! SO he broke up with me. A couple days later we got back together and the same day he broke up with me again! So he ignored me a week and i started messaging a guy friend. Then he found out and said i hurt him and he didn’t want anything to do with me. Its so confusing! Now he wont talk to me about us, he says he still loves me, that never changed but he does not want to talk to me. He changed his relationship to single, and when I see him and try to touch him he freaks out and tells me to get away from him. He to tell me how scared he was of losing me, how blessed he was to have the girls and I! Now its like he could care less if I live or not! I want him back because I love him and I dont want to give up on him or us ! I want to get married and i thought he did to! I am so scared that If I dont contact him he will forget about me, or even worse be with someone else either casually or long term! What do I do ???? Please help! We have not talked about us really or been together in almost 3 weeks ! I can not just let him go, but do you think I have chance?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 2:26 am

HI Amber,

Have you talked by now?

Ciara

March 15, 2016 at 11:05 am

Hi Guys, Thanks a million for all this. This website and your books has been my life line in the last few months. I have a bit of a dilemma. Did the NC for 30days, Made first contact message, got a good response. Did second “first contact”, again got a good response and a few more messages. Did Third “First Contact” Got a good response, I replied, then nothing back. That was 4 days ago, I haven’t replied or texted anything yet. But I am wondering, Do I leave it a week and go back with the “First Contact” style message, or do I start up a conversation?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 3:37 pm

Hi Ciara,

Thank you too! I think it’s better if you start a conversation after 3 times of positive response to first contact.

Nicole

February 18, 2016 at 10:30 am

Hi Chris,

My ex broke up with me out of the blue around the end of November. We went from being completely fine with no fights and texts daily (initiated both ways), and then all of a sudden he just backed off and broke up with me over the course of 3 days. It was completely unexpected and hit me really hard. I didn’t text him at all after the break up until a week later when we caught up to clear the air and give me some closure as to what really happened.

He consistantly told me I did nothing wrong and that he just wanted change, and to be single. I think that night he officially “friend zoned” me, and now I’m worried I’ve done more damage which cannot be fixed. I found your website the day after this, bought your book, and immediately went into NC – successfully getting through it no problems. During this time I focused on myself, I lost weight, gained fitness, took time to care for myself and I even went on a date.

When I texted him he never replied, so I tried again 2 weeks later and still nothing. He has not tried to contact me once since the split, including on my birthday which I was convinced he would. I’m at a loss of what to do next because I’m afraid i’ll fail again on the third try. Even though we’re approaching 3 months of being apart I still think about him every day and I’m still confused about what actually happened to break down our relationship.

I really appreciate all that you do on this website and your book is extremely insightful – I just feel like I’ve found the one guy who doesn’t think like everyone else. I don’t think he misses me at all.

I hope you can help because I feel like I’m out of options.

Much appreciated,

Nicole.

Nicole

February 20, 2016 at 2:13 am

Unfortunately no, I’m unsure of what he’s been up to. He’s not an active user of social media so he rarely posts on facebook, but I know he’s been viewing my “My Story” on snapchat recently. That’s pretty much all the contact I get, and it isn’t even real contact.
We are both members of a sporting club which starts up again soon, so I will get to see him, but I’m worried it will be too late by then and he won’t talk to me full stop. I’m not sure that the physical and mental changes I made to myself will be enough to convince him to come back.

Thanks for your reply,

Nicole
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2016 at 10:26 am

well, it’s still better to do no contact because if you try to talk him again now, it might even hurt your chances more
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 4:11 pm

Hi Nicole,

I’m puzzled too but honestly I think you have to stop now..because if you try again next week or next month he might still not reply.. Do you have an idea what he’s been doing latel?

Ann

February 16, 2016 at 12:32 am

Hi Chris,
My long distance BF and I broke up on Jan 16. I blocked him on whatsapp. His birthday was end of January, so after 3 days I sent him a belated birthday greeting on skype. He then deleted me from skype. After one week he added me back and responded to say “Thanks”. I noticed he has now deleted me again from skype. Why is he adding and deleting me. What’s going on in his mind? Please help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 11:26 am

Hi Ann,

maybe because his can’t make up his mind right now if he can be friends with you

Jeannine

January 5, 2016 at 2:41 am

Chris,
I’ve been dating my bf since July. I was in a bad situation I needed assistance with money. I told a male friend of my situation. I became intimate with my friend in exchange for his assistance. My guy discovered this and we broke up a few days before Thanksgiving. I apologized to him and explained to him that this happened for the sake of money not for gratification. I don’t want to lose him. i want to make things right and hopefully get back together.

Please help!

Respectfully,
Jeannine

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2016 at 9:19 am

Hi Jeanine,

Honestly you broke his trust. Even more so saying that it’s just for money. But with and effort and change, there’s a chance. Here’s something that can help.Fix your relationship if you cheated on your ex boyfriend before it’s too late

Marie

December 31, 2015 at 9:09 pm

Hey I’m really going through a bad time I need help please

Chris Seiter

January 16, 2016 at 11:26 pm

Whats up? How can we help?

Adriana

December 28, 2015 at 3:01 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex texed me on day 26NC and I didn’t reply to him. After 30 day of NC I texted him and he responsed positively, we text about 10 texts until we say good night to each other. But the day after, I texted him and he have read it but didn’t response. I don’t know what is going on? The only thing I know is he is a workaholic and his job is getting more and more busy these day.
H

December 21, 2015 at 9:15 pm

Hi Chris,
I completed a solid 30 days NC. (I emailed you on FB saying thanks for the inspiration and the posts- they saved me some days!!) Today, I just sent my first contact message. When we were seeing each other, he knew I liked whiskey, found me this great herbal whiskey that I ended up loving (the kept at his house) and could never find. Still can’t. So, I took a screen shot of the brand’s tweet from today saying “such and such whiskey is everywhere!” , then sent the pic w/ the comment “SO not true, lol.” And, that was all. Whatya think?? Good first text? Not wicked full of content, I know, but, it’s a fun happy thing from when we were an item. and it’s a light text. Hoping that’s good. (That was an hour ago, btw, lol- I’m antsy as heck- but won’t text again!! I know I only got two more shots!!)
Jen

December 17, 2015 at 1:58 am

Hi Chris,

My ex and I have been broken up for a week now. He ended things because he just didn’t have the same feelings as he used to have for me and that i was too restricting. I have come to understanding with these reasons. I truely do love him and I’m sure that I want him back. He told me how he wants to be friends because I’m a big part of his life and that he’ll text me. Luckily i haven’t contacted him since the the day we broke up, so my no contact rule is going strong. I was wondering what to do if he contacts me during my no contact period. Also I’m struggling to figure out how I’m going to construct my first text message after the no contact period.

Thanks
Jessica

December 17, 2015 at 12:28 am

Hi Chris,

My now ex walked out because I suggested he eat something. He has sugar low seizures. Anyway, we’ve been together 3 years and have a daughter together. We always used to fight because he didn’t understand being helpful to clean up when you live together. Because I suggested food, he got up to pack and I let him….and He waited around like he wanted me to beg him to not go, but I didn’t. Then he came to me and told me to lock my front door like he WANTED ME TO SEE HIM LEAVING. The next day, he texted me the next day to say he missed me. A few days later, we spoke and he acted like he changed and grew up. He wanted to discuss the relationship and I let him know you broke up with me so there’s nothing to discuss. He said, that we are still together and that he didn’t dump me. Which is weird…and he seemed cheery. Later that night, I kinda roped him into calling me and we went into this long conversation about everything and he said he was going to come home. I let him know I think he was lying about that and I told him I think he’s just saying that but will never show up and will just let time pass until I realize he’s not coming, but he convinced me that he “grew up” now and he wouldn’t do that. I texted him to ask if he was alright and he didn’t answer. So I haven’t heard from him since. I’m implementing the No Contact Rule currently, but I have no idea if he wants me or not but it feels like he just wants me to beg… What’s going on? Is he trying to force me to beg?
neli

December 14, 2015 at 12:57 pm

hi chris i had been dating a guy for 7 months and 3 weeks ago he told me that he doesn’t see us going anywhere he is tired this occurred after we had an argument about how he doesn’t make enough effort to spend time with me we were in an exclusive relationship and things had seemed great for us, we haven’t made any contact since then, it was a long distance relationship so i probably wont be bumping into him either. its just been really confusing for me because i dont understand how he can just up and leave me like that. so i want to know how the no contact rule applies for me if he isnt even contacting me?
Shira Cabir

December 8, 2015 at 7:38 pm

first of i loveee your website!! i literately recommended this to all my girl friends and they all go on this now when they need help with anything. i have done so many of your recommendations and it worked every single time. especially the no contact rule.

I wanted to tell you about my most recent heartbreak. i was dating this guy for 4 months. it was going good at first. but i was his first gf and he is 31… he was never in a serious relationship. he started having some troubles at work and became depressed and then became confused about me. he told me he needed a break and i did the no contact. a week later he messaged me telling me how he realized he was wrong and he wants me back for real. i think i made a mistake when i answered him too soon and just went back to normal talking like nothing really happened. then a week after that he broke up with me again for the same reason that he still needs to figure out his life and work situation and is confused. now i just finished a week of no contact and i havent heard from him. i am not sure what to do next. should i keep going with the no contact? should i text him after im done with the NC? why is this time different than the first time when he broke down during the first week of NC?
Shiran

December 5, 2015 at 10:06 am

Hi Chris

I really need your help my bf thinks that i cheated on him. In a way i agree i cheated but its not that extreme i agree i flirted with other guys at starting of our relationship but past few months we were completely into each other(we into relationship for about two years) and last week he discovered that i flirted with other guys and he lost complete trust on me i tried to convenience him after two days of NC i dropped him a written apology and it worked we met in person and I cried my heart out and it was like everything went normal but again after two days he fought with me and said he cannot be happy with me he forgot all the good days we spent and he also tore all my Love cards. I am really upset will he come back to me? As I started my NC again and today is the third day. Please help what to do i read all of your step by step plan but no clue now what to do.

Thanks

Shiran

December 7, 2015 at 6:25 pm

Yes correct apart from chatting I did not do anything infact its been months that i even blocked those guy friends. Please help
Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 6:05 pm

You didn’t actually cheat on him though right?

Tesa

November 26, 2015 at 1:08 pm

Hi Chris, I m doing the no contact rule for 14 days. My boyfriend and I had a fight when he was on business and traveling in Shanghai. We had a fight n I told him we are done. He blocked me in whatsapp and once he got back home, he texted me and says if I have time we need to talk. What should I do next ? We are long distance and he stopped to file a divorce. How can I get him to give more attention and commit in this relationship.

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 5:26 am

Filed a divorce? He was married when you were together?

Nathallia

November 24, 2015 at 12:49 am

Hi Chris!

First I just wanted to say how helpful your articles have been and how much I have learned. My bf and I broke up a week ago and haven’t talked since. He texted me the day after but I didn’t respond because I had learned about the no contact rule. Today is the 9th day of the no contact rule. I do have a dilemma. A mutual friend throws an annual ugly sweater party which happens to be only a few days after the no contact rule will end. Should I skip the the party knowing he will be there even if the no contact rule will have ended? Or will I get the best results if I wait to see him after the text messages and phone calls?

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 6:04 am

Skip the party if you can.
Nathallia

November 25, 2015 at 7:15 pm

Sorry, I meant to say he texted me a week after****

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579 thoughts on “What To Do If You Get The Dreaded No Response After No Contact”