What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You On (The Phone, Facebook, WhatsApp, Etc)

2,564 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

Aku

May 1, 2019 at 2:59 am

I was dating this guy for over a month. It was okay initially but after sometime, he started acting distant, when asked he said he doesn’t want this. He ended up blocking me. I called him from my friend’ Phone a few days later and asked him what went wrong? He said he still has feelings for me but a lot has been going on in his life right now, so he cannot be with me. He eventually ended up unblocking me and said that we should give it another shot.
A few days later he started acting distant again, and that annoyed me so we had an argument. The next day he has ended up blocking me again
I haven’t contacted him ever since and am doing the NC, and intent to contact him after a month. I was wondering if that is even worth it ?
I am however sure that we had a great connection and that is what made me want to give it another shot. Will he be unblocking me ?
Paula

April 24, 2019 at 3:13 pm

I was seeing a guy for two months, it didn’t start off the best as we had a disagreement about something so I removed him as a friend from my social media sites. Moving on though a following few days later we got back in touch by a mutual friend and began talking again, everything was going well at first, talking loads and loads and constant contact. We met a couple of weeks after our first date, I have to say I wasn’t sold on how it went, something was missing but we still had fun and I said I’d still give him another chance, our second one went better, but then his brother and friend ended up attending for some of it. We live around 1 hour or more apart and we both work loads so it’s hard to see each other, I will give us that. But it had reached the stage of 3 weeks almost and we hadn’t met up or even any suggestions we might. I was beginning to take the hint that he wasn’t interested anymore, I got annoyed and send him a powerful message, it was negative enough and I suppose it came across like I wanted to fight and he wouldn’t think twice to argue back. Cutting a long story short after this disagreement I decided the following evening I would message him and see how things where, and then I decided it was time to call it quits as it just seemed like it wasn’t progressing anywhere. I never ended it because I didn’t have feelings, I made that clear but it just felt like the right decision at the time. He replied and stated he had no intentions to end things and wondered where did I get this idea from, but if that’s how I felt to go with my gut and I wished him happiness so he “supposed he wished it back”. We communite via Snapchat so the following two days after he would send me random Snapchat’s but I didn’t reply, the following day after that, he didn’t send me one so I sent him one, he replied being friendly sending kiss faces and calling me “hun” that was his pet name for me for being flirty. We spoke that night and into the Next day, all seemed ok, I wasn’t sure if we were gonna speak about ending it and giving it another go or just being civil and friendly but I was happy we could still get along anyway, and hoping secretly he had maybe had learned a thing or two in the few days we didn’t speak. That evening, I come home to being blocked on all social media sites he has me on. I rang him 3 times and texted him but all I got was “hello” “yeah” and ????? To my text message when I poured my heart out to be explained why I was blocked. He was out with his friend who really doesn’t like me. I believe he may or influenced him as well but, It makes no sense to me, can you shed some light on this situation for me or provide any insight to what may of happened? I enjoyed the post and thought it was really helpful but telling my story and getting another opinion may help.

Chris Seiter

April 25, 2019 at 12:28 am

I can see there is a lot going on here. Hang in there Paula. If you have a sensible ex recovery plan, it can help things going forward. It appears to me that you would be a good candidate for implementing the NC Rule given its advantages in the healing department and allowing time and space to create some value appreciation.

Winnie

April 23, 2019 at 1:26 pm

Hi Chris:

Should I ask for my friends’ forgiveness again?
He told me he forgives me if I am truly forgive.
We had rough broke up last year, we didn’t contact with each other for a year.
I would like to ask him did he really forgive me? Cause I couldn’t let me go. Should I?

Winnie
Belle

April 22, 2019 at 10:16 pm

I talked to this boy for around two months and I realized that he started to like me a lot. He was texting me around 5 times a day, and at nights we used to text for hours. We were just talking about life and future, nothing sexually, and we could go on for hours. I don’t really know how. But when I realized that he stared to like me a lot,I though he was crazy. I though you can’t just fall for someone like that so fast, so I become mean to him. And he was still nice to me but I couldn’t handle it so I blocked him for weeks. Then I felt sorry and unblocked him and he added me right away. I though “omg, he probably been checking if he’s still blocked” like everyday, so I start to talk to him slowly like just friends but he keept ignoring me. So few days later he blocks me, and I felt so bad, I though why ? after 3 days he unblocked me, I don’t know if this means he don’t wanna talk to me or maybe he just want me to feel same pain as he felt? I don’t understand this behavior, I do feel bad after all. It was like I really had the perfect guy in front of me but I was busy getting attention from other stupid guys that I don’t even talk to anymore. What should I do? I do miss him a lot. I don’t want him to feel like “oh she got back, now I got her wrapped around my fingers” should I text him and tell him I miss him? Or should I just leave it ?
Elanie

April 19, 2019 at 3:50 pm

Hello, my boyfriend of 2 years has blocked me on all forms of communication. He refuses to talk to me and tells people that breaking up with me was the only way to get out this situation. Apparently, I was not showing him enough attention and love and felt like nothing would get better. However I wrote him multiple letters explaining like if we could just talk about it. I can understand what I did and work on being a better girlfriend to him. We had planned to get married and start our life together soon. But he left without a word, blocked me on everything, and said never to contact him again. I want him back but I feel like it may be too late.
Jane Doe

April 19, 2019 at 4:48 am

Hi Chris,

Story time 🙂 So I met my coworker (the guy) 2 years ago. He worked in the office but I only visited for office gatherings a remote worker. I’ve always found him attractive but never thought to date him initially. Fast forward to summer 2018. We start chatting whenever I visited the office and out of no where there was a mutual spark. I can recall the exact day I developed feelings for him…he wasn’t really my ex bf but we were talking a little and meeting up sometimes. The attraction was VERY strong and I know at one point in time it was mutual. After awhile he started to act hot and cold. I’m not gonna lie I started to act a little desperate and needy at some points. I also felt I was trying to hard to make mold him into a better employee/person. Usually I’m very cold with men and play hard to get. It’s not even playing, it I’m only semi interested (99% of the time) I’m not very responsive. Not to brag but most guys I engage with text me frequently even after ignoring several of their text. If I wanted to have a man to fill in gap or void, I could have a doting bf tomorrow. In many ways I feel like a female Don Juan or player…I’m actually terrified about commitment but for some reason this ONE guy got me weak. He makes me want to commit to him and him only. It’s like when I fall for someone which is RARE to nearly never…I in turn into a love struck fool. So fast forward Sept 2018 the last time I saw him in person ever…it was a great encounter…lots of attraction lots of chemistry…I sent him a text 5 days after that encounter no response..then about 5 days after that he got laid off..i found out by accident..so I tried to contact him bc I was sad and worried about him. He responded but didn’t seem in the mood to chat…So next day I tried calling him. No response. So I said to myself I’ll give it 7-10 days before reaching out. So I wait. Come to find out I’m blocked on iMessage. I was devastated. I do suspect there could have been another girl or girls in his life but this still hurt like crazy. I’ve tried texting him occasionally over the last few months to check but still blocked. It’s been 6 near 7 months since any contact…I am not blocked on WhatsApp though but we have never chatted there. At this point I just want to hear from him even if we never become anything. It upsets me things ended on bad terms. My question is since we haven’t spoken 6 or 7 months would it be a problem to message him on WhatsApp saying “hey how are things, hope all is well” ? I have ZERO expectations set and at this point just want to be cool with him. I don’t even need to be his friend I just don’t want to be someone totally blocked out. I don’t want him to think of me negatively. Of course I want to be with him but at this point I’m okay with being an occasional acquaintance that chats with him once in awhile. Is it okay for me to text him on WhatsApp or am I being a creepy and ridiculous. I’m not going to try to get back, I just want to reestablish communication and leave the door open if he ever does gain interest…any thought on this would be appreciated. Apologies for being long winded…I’m kinda a creative writer lol

Chris Seiter

April 19, 2019 at 8:55 pm

HI There Jane Doe! So it seems to me you would benefit by reaching out and proceeding slowly. Consider picking up my Program, particularly the “Texting Bible”, as it can help you with restarting communications in the right way.

Saira

April 15, 2019 at 7:29 am

Hi Chris,
I broke up last May with a guy who said he never wanted to get married and said we were only FWB, I calmly said I wanted marriage and didn’t want to see him anymore as a fwb. He got very pissed off I guess and unfriended me on Facebook 2 days later. We work together and I continued to be civil in our interactions but never once reached out to him for any kind of personal interaction although he would occasionally share something personal. He left the company more than a month back and a few days ago blocked me on WhatsApp , and I wasn’t even contacting him at all to begin with so made no sense to block me . It did hurt though so I deleted his number 😀 Is there any hope of it working out if I don’t reach out and try to establish contact again after NC? I would really rather he be the one to do that ..

Chris Seiter

April 15, 2019 at 2:28 pm

Hi Saira….so he might reach out first after NC, but my Program allows you to do that too. Check it out if you have not already!

Timy

April 7, 2019 at 4:06 pm

Hi Chris
I meet this guy and we were happy and felt in love I though by that time ,we were together for only 3 month.he told me I am his first girlfriend that he have sex but am more experienced than him,he told me he used to believe in predestination but he told me to see things together I was very happy.one day he told me he is not sure about us out of a blue but I cried cuz we were fine before one day.but we had a date next day and I told him we should break up, I say that to make him want me and to look strong at his face I didn’t meant it.but that day I get suspicious of my body and feelt that I’m pregnant,I told him the next day that I am pregnant, without giving it a second thought,but he told me to go together and to check out , after 3 days it became real that I was pregnant .he didn’t say a word and left me there. I called him and told him to meet up and talk about my pregnancy. Next day he just told me that he can not marry me but be a father to my baby in a rude way ,he insult me ,he make it sound like it was my fault, he even told me he don’t even care about it.he don’t even try to talk to me nicely .I get hurt and say annoying word and did the abortion after he hurt my feeling.i though he did not meant all of it and me to.because he used to talk about marrying me when we were together.however, he block me in every social media.afer five months I see him in emo even if I was still greiving I say hi like noting happen…we chat and he told me he miss me but right after that he told me that I am assuming facts when I talk to him and block me there again.its been 3 month since our last talk but am still in bad condition I still love him even if he hurt me ,i feel like talking to him will put me in a good mood.the otherwise when I think about all the things i have been through alone i hate him but couldnt get him out of my mind in this couple of days I’m am died little by little slowly, the fact not talking to him after the things is making me low.
I need it advice thanks.
Marcia

April 6, 2019 at 11:26 pm

The worst impact of being blocked is that it leaves us powerless, as if our existence suddenly no longer matters. For women with a sense of pride, this hurts. I would rather get a proper closure.

Sadly, when blocked, since there is no closure, you never recover. And if the blockee never comes back with an explanation (no matter how lame his excuse will be) then all he gains for himself is being black-listed, with no chance of ever being trusted again.

I wonder, how can we get the upper hand again, after being blocked? Blocking him back can be a way, but he probably expects it. But I want to get back with an answer he won’t be expecting. I know I could even take a picture wearing a wedding dress (for fun) and holding some flowers, as if I am just getting married. And I can make this photo viewable only for him and some close friends, who I can warn in advance, and even ask them to wish me happiness, so it gets believable…. But that’s like comedies we see on tv. If he sniffs the bluff, he will even be entertained. He will keep blocking more women, to see them magically being married one month later 🙂

Do you think we can do anything at all to get back the upper hand after being blocked? Thank you so much! 🙂
Marcia

April 4, 2019 at 11:45 pm

Dear Chris, thank you so much for replying and comforting me. I will take this (failed relationship) as a lesson, as I now have seen what I don’t want in a man. Who knows, in another decade I might be able to ”order” a clone of this man, but with a slightly better behavior!

However, I will keep my cool. I won’t even ring him, to find out if he has also blocked my mobile. Who cares, if he has. After all, as you wisely say, if someone goes out of his way to block us, that proves he feels something, even anger. And anger is a passionate feeling. He has only blocked me in messenger. Perhaps he doesn’t want any new girlfriend to see my messages. Or, he hopes blocking will be the magic trick which will make me return to being a ‘friend with benefits”. He had said ”I found what I always wanted in you”. But I didn’t ask, does he mean finding a relationship without strings, or finding a good character to be with? Who knows. Maybe his mum forced him to block me. He is 30, by the way, and I am 45 although I look a lot younger. And this is why I insisted and felt comfortable so far, thinking the age gap won’t matter.

He hasn’t fully blocked me, so as you teach, he may want to be able to see if I am suffering after the blocking. I am going to pretend I didn’t even notice the blocking, and I am not suffering. Until see him coming back…. And then, I will need to finally have the dreaded ”talk” and say that I am only interested in marriage, even if it lasts a few years. If he finds being married to me boring, he can leave at any stage, no one is anybody’s prisoner.

Finding the right person, is like winning in lottery. I would like to win the lottery, without playing too many times. I think women should not sleep with many men. It devalues us. I would happily wait 10 years for him to come back. I even went to the extreme to say, I would want to marry him even if he was a disabled person. I would love to take care of him. But, best for him to be fine and never need my love.

I wish you to enjoy your family and your happiness for ever! Thank you once again Chris, for making us feel so valued, by replying to us here, and sorry if I took up too much of your time, but sharing my thoughts with a top expert, was of great help….
Araba

April 4, 2019 at 8:18 am

Hi Chris,
My ex after we having sex, tins did not go down well with me. All I did was texted him and I cost ” pls next time when I tell to give me a hand and you don’t feel like doing it let me know cos you made me have bruce all my VG ” never hard anything from him for like three weeks. I then again text n ask why the radio silence and all he said because of what I texted him, it make him feel like he nobody to me. I was wow, I den went in to No contact on him for like 18 days but he kept checking n watching my status on a daily basis and I posted something mean. He blocked on Whatsapp but am not blocked on imo and messager of like 35 days now, I also did blocked him back. But I feel bad and tinks I have to apologise to him on my mean word I use on my status. Also feel am breaking no contact here cos he Ghosted and gaslighted me frist? I hope am doing the right thing.
Marcia

April 3, 2019 at 1:19 pm

Hi Chris, your articles are full of hope and wisdom. Thanks a million for your help to us all in the world..

I have been restricted on my crush’s facebook wall for a year, and when I complained, he lied “I didn’t restrict you, maybe you pressed a button yourself”. I was angry so I distanced myself. Now recently he was leaving my messages “ignored” and unread. Then 2 weeks ago he blocked me on messenger, after he “unignored” and read my messages, which were all light and fun, and a bit on the ironic side (I wrote “can I please be blocked by another guy who bores me, and not from you, huh huh). So now it looks like a gradual blocking, being escalated from him… My feeling tells me he is angry with me. Because he had masterfully caged me in a “friends with benefits category”. I never thought the relationship would never progress! But I was patient for 2 years. Then I decided I can’t allow to feel used for any longer. So I withdrew from the sex but kept sending him friendly texts for like 8 months. He was asking me to meet up but when he realised there was no offer for “benefits” any more, I think he now punished me by all this gradual blocking. He can still see my facebook wall though. I am very patient, hoping one day he will come crawling back, maybe after 10 years. They all do come back after 6-10 years, but by then I don’t want them any more. Sadly let me tell you this was an age gap relationship, as I am 15 years older than him. However, he kept seeing me casually for 2 years. And I allowed it, being understanding and waiting to see a change. I never thought the age gap matters, as I have fallen in love with much older men and also with younger. And always, we split up due to incompatability of characters, not of age numbers.

Well I don’t know if there is anything I can do to turn this around. Especially this blocking shows such disrespect. From total bliss to total disaster…. Is there any advice for my case or do you see it as totally doomed? I hate casual dating. I want a lawful husband. Thank you so much Chris…

Chris Seiter

April 4, 2019 at 3:14 am

Thanks Marcia for your kind words. I agree blocking is never a good solution and people usually do it for the wrong reasons. Just know, no matter how this shakes out, the future is always moving with many opportunities for you.

What a misunderstanding...

March 31, 2019 at 3:17 am

Met guy online/long distance in August ’19. He’s 49 (never married/no kids), I’m 39(never married/no kids). I will say upfront, I can be somewhat elusive and it takes a while for me to open up to people. He came to visit my city twice (Sept & Nov) staying in a hotel, perfect gentleman, took me to dinners, shopping, no pressure or expectation of anything physical. After first visit communicated how much he liked me, and that he expected no immediate physical intimacy nor a microwave relationship, but that he needed to know that I was mentally and physically attracted to him. I replied I was very attracted to him, in so many words.

He visited the second time, things were great. He began to tell all his family and friends about me. I visited his city in December (he paid for flight, I stayed at his house), attended a football game with him, his best friend and bf’s wife. They were amazed how “cute” we were. His family and friends were calling while I was there asking if they would get to meet me. He asked if I had told my family about him, I told him I hadn’t yet, he was a tad upset.

When I returned home we talked about increasing our visits, etc. He shared something personal about his sexual health which I understood, but admittidly was slightly concerened about (although I did not let on to him about my concern.) I could tell he was insecure over the next few days. Several days later we spoke and I asked him how long he would be willing to wait for physical intimacy as I had already decided (sometime ago) to wait until I was engaged to have sex with a new man. (This had nothing to do with what he shared with me regarding his health) The conversation was awkward and I could tell he felt uncomfortable. (Probably thought I was rejecting him from what he shared days later.)

Over the next few weeks he became hot and cold with me. One day telling me he “felt more and more for me and wanted me to be his last,” or that he “really, really wants us to work” and “2019 will be our year” etc. While getting upset over little things and cancelling his visits to my city, the next day, blaming being overwhelmed at work. He started saying that he didnt really “feel that I liked him” etc.

A few weeks later (January) he suggeted I come to visit and told me to get a ticket, he would reimburse me, then he texted me days later saying that we were loosing momentum and that he would mail me payment for the ticket “wishing me the best.” He said he felt rejected from the conversation a few weeks before and by the fact I hadn’t told my family of him and that we “need not communicate any further”. I was upset and replied with a series of texts basically calling him out for this breakup being about his insecurities rather than his reason of me not liking him.

I REALLY LOVE THIS MAN… I did no contact for 35 days, sent a light text, about seeing something that reminded me of him. (No response) I sent an elephant in the room email apologizing for my gaurdedness affecting my openess and accepting the breakup, a few days later. (No response) I waited 10 more days then called (realized I’m blocked) left a nice voicemail saying hello, thinking of him etc. (No response)

I just really feel all this was over a tragic misunderstanding…and that this relationship could/and should be salvaged. What should I do now?
Gaea

March 22, 2019 at 9:43 pm

Hey!
My ex broke up with me in January. He claimed he had fallen out of love with me, but he still wanted to be friends. I understood and respected his decision, took his friendship offer and it seemed to me everything was working well.
Then, after nearly two months of our friendship situation, he got angry with me because some mutual friends criticized his behaviour towards me (he believed I had made them think bad of him). And he blocked me on all platforms.
Of course I had to make a mistake of trying to contact him soon after. I asked two mutual friends to talk to him, I sent two e-mails – one a week after an argument, and another one the next week (assuring I hadn’t badmouthed him and that I value him a lot). Literally nothing happened so I realized I must’ve been doing it wrong. Then I found your site and read a bit. I’m currently on day 9. of No Contact (since I’ve been blocked pretty much everywhere, NC means to me no more e-mails and not bringing him up while talking to mutual friends – but I guess that’s something?), I’m also working on myself.

I have two questions:
1. Do I opt for 30 days of NC or rather 45 in this case?
2. If he doesn’t unblock me by the time NC period ends – should I send him a traditional letter or resort to mutual friends’ help?

Chris Seiter

March 22, 2019 at 11:08 pm

Hi Gaea!

Probably in that range of 30 – 45 days. My Program calls for a different type of reach out strategy starting slowly first with texting. I dive into the details in my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”.

Shanie

March 18, 2019 at 5:19 am

Hey,
What if I don’t have any mutual friends with my ex?
I know some of my ex’s friends, but I’m not personally friends with them.

Chris Seiter

March 18, 2019 at 10:17 pm

Hi Shanie…great question! You need not rely on just one tactic. There are usually multiple things you can do to reinforce your value. Are you making use of my ex recovery Program so you understand how all this works.

Honey bee

February 25, 2019 at 2:02 am

It has been two month of NC, and I am still blocked on WhatsApp. I am not blocked on FB but I can only see his FB and can’t message. He had blocked me on phone and text two months ago. I haven’t called or text him. What should I do? Should I make an indirect approach via my sister to ask him on WhatsApp? I’m feeling horrible. Is there still any hope for me? Help me Chris !

Chris Seiter

February 26, 2019 at 1:42 am

Hi Honey Bee….Are you following my Program? You can try the indirect approach. But also know there comes a point where you move forward…not completely giving him up if he should resurface…but life moves forward and you have the opportunity to explore other paths, while still adapting if he should wise up and see that he is blowing it.

Dolores

February 8, 2019 at 2:59 pm

My ex and I had been on and off for months and I broke up with him multiple times then would randomly txt him out of boredom. The final break up was horrible and dramatic. This time it was him saying he’s done with my shit for good and moving out of state. He blocked my #, not sure about email, Facebook page isn’t blocked but I can’t message him on it.. he has kids and the baby momma was involved.. i was trying to talk to him to clarify some stuff and he threatened with a Restraining order when I wouldn’t stop blowing him up. Is there any way this could ever resolve or any way I should or could ever attempt to message him to get some answers out of him? That I didn’t get when we briefly talked before the situation got out of hand
Niharika

February 6, 2019 at 8:43 am

Hey. My ex bf broken up with me. He told me that he was not happy with me and he dont have feelings for me. I made a mistake of bwing cling for the next 15 days ..constantly calling and texting him. He barely replied and that too out of frustration. I forced him to meet me atleast once so that i can normalise things. I met him but he didnt react in a good way saying that he is here bcz he was forced. after that he has blocked me from everywhere. I dont know exactly the reason for his anger and instant estrangement. What should i do know. Is therr any chances of him coming back to me again ?
Maria Inez

January 30, 2019 at 9:40 pm

Chris,
I received a gift and a note suggesting we meet and talk over drinks by thepool in vegas and also that he misses me. I am still blocked on WhatsApp and he his still deployed. I have not responded if Im reading your blog right I need to continue NC correct?

Chris Seiter

January 31, 2019 at 1:27 am

Hi maria…usually you would continue with NC, but NC does allow for exceptions given certain circumstances. Very complex to talk about here. I literally wrote a book on the topic, “The No Contact Rule Book” (245 pages). Variables to consider include length of relationship, time that has expired since NC initiated, the number of positive reach outs by your ex, whether the breakup was a bad one, etc, etc, etc.

Samira

January 27, 2019 at 7:56 pm

Hi chris, me and my ex have dated for 8 mounth! He brock up with me beause i lied to him, for like 2 times over smoking! He hates siggarates, i quit smoking for him but he found out that i smoked after drinking! This is the second time that he caught me smoking and he blocked me frome everyyyyy where! I tried to contact him from different numbers but he did not respond anymore! And told my friends that tell her its over! Do you think is there any chance to get him back!???

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2,564 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”