What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You On (The Phone, Facebook, WhatsApp, Etc)

2,564 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

Samantha

July 24, 2014 at 8:32 pm

Hi Chris,

So after achieving the first steps of getting my exboyfriend back (frienship, one date) we were texting everyday, 10 txts or more, most of them coming from his side starting a conversation. We were doing just fine until one night, I committed the mistake of rushing things up and told him I missed him as a boyfriend, that for me a friendship was not good enough and I wanted to come back as a couple. He replied that he was not interested in a relationsip with me but I was really special for him so he thought that at least we could be friends but that if being friends was hurtful to me, he would back off.. Problem is, he was not behaving as a friend. He texted me constantly during the day, asking me how I was, telling me stuff about him, when he went out or when he came back, stuff that you dont send to a friend on a daily basis.
So when he told me that he only wanted us to be friends I told him I really didnt want his cheap friendship, that for me it was not good enough. He told me that I didnt know that I wanted, that I broke up with him for a stupid reason and he was not feeling ok with me telling him I wanted to come back, so he was going to block me. And he did, he blocked me on Facebook and whatsapp and the day after I sent him several sms apologizing about being rude, but that I really meant when I said I wanted him back, that he could think about it,and immediately after I applied the NC rule.

Since that happened, one week later after NC period he unblocked me, but he has not reached me at all. It´s been a week and he has not reached me but he opened the communication lines, which confuses me.

Chris, I have been thinking, after all that has happened since my bf and I broke up, I got to the conclusion that on his mind, on his Little ex boyfriend world, I am the one who is wrong, the one who made a big deal out of a situation (I broke up with him because I caught him flirting online, something I told him since day 1 I was not going to tolerate and it was a huge and painful deal to me, he agreed on not doing it.)and I am the one to blame for about taking the decision to Split. Like I always told him, it is a betrayal when you do something behind someone´s back that you know it is going to hurt that person, but I have been always willing to fix this if he were honest with me and regained my trust. But he has never apologized for what he did nor tried to do something about it. It seems that flirting online is a huge deal for him, even more important than his actual relationship. For the record, I met him online.

So after I exposed you my situation, why do you think he unblocked me? It has been 3 months since we broke up, and I am really confused about why he unblocked me from Facebook and whatsapp. He makes me feel like he is over me, and he is jut letting me go without having bad feelings about me. Do you think this is a possiblity? I thought we was over me when he blocked me and somehow I was starting to let him go, but now that I am not blocked anymore I came back to think about him and everything we have been through, I don´t know what to do or expect, can you help me?

admin

July 25, 2014 at 2:19 pm

He probably misses you or wants to see you on Facebook or spy on you to see how you are doing.

EB

July 21, 2014 at 8:32 pm

Hi i just wanted your advice as I have read three of your articles. Me and my partner lived together with my son we have had problems in the past regarding him lying where hes been, what time hes got home etc (when we didnt live together) which has made me question him times. he has self esteem issues an has left me twice before saying he wasnt good enough l, went with other girld then got back with me which i let him as i love him. things improved massively since we moved in together in december but last weekend he kissed someone on a night out when I found out and confronted him instead of apologising and making it right he cried and said he couldn’t take the pressure and he was unhappy I didn’t have any idea I’ve gone over messages and no incline apparently he was taking his frustration out on his family but acting fine when he was with me to keep me happy. He said he will only hurt me and my son in the future and told me he needed to leave and get help. He left with his stuff on Wednesday and other than a text about money regarding our house we have had no contact. He has unfollowed me on Instagram but I am still following him, and still follow each other on what’s app/twitter. Should i do the NC for 30 days and hope for the best, or am I being unrealistic. Since Wednesday he has been out every night and has added girls he had previously been with (slept with) and logged back into Facebook which he didn’t have when we were together. I feel like he is trying to keep himself distracted by messaging other girls.

admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:27 pm

He cheated on you…

Tell me what is your reasoning for wanting him back?
EB

July 22, 2014 at 4:56 pm

Yes he kissed another girl. My reasoning is I saw something great in him he puts himself down and I really felt at times he would open up to me I knew he could be better than he was being and I thought we bought out the best in each other yes I love him but that’s not just in he felt like my best friend
admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Your a better person than I am b/c I don’t think I could take someone back after that.

amanda

July 20, 2014 at 3:08 am

So I messed up the whole NC thing and called and texted him constantly. Now he blocked my phone number. I’m still messing up and Facebook messaging and emailing him. I want to stop, but I just keep thinking that maybe he’ll read something I say and talk to me. I don’t want him back. I just hate that he’s ignoring me. I need to stop and I don’t know how. Do you think that if I stop talking to him he will eventually talk to me?

admin

July 21, 2014 at 4:06 pm

Thats pretty much the only option you have at this point.

Need Advice

July 18, 2014 at 6:25 pm

Great post! My boyfriend blocked my number after we got in a small fight & I haven’t heard from him for a week and I have been trying to contact him, texting him from friend’s phones practically begging him to call me back (i know that probably wasn’t the best move but i panicked and the more he ignores me the more it drives me crazy, smh). I don’t know how someone can say they have all of these feelings for me & make all these promises and then just disappear without a word, with no regard for my feelings. I’m so hurt & confused. I know that in the past he had blocked a girlfriend & never talked to her again and it looks like he is doing that to me now. I really want to talk to him. I was thinkin of doing NC 2.0 but wanted your honest opinion. Since he has ignored the crap out of me for a week now & i know he did this to a girl in the past & never talked to her again, do u think he’s probably a lost cause?

admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:11 pm

I still think its worth a shot…

Maria

July 18, 2014 at 12:43 pm

Hi Chris,
I’m almost to the end of my modified NC with my ex but I found out he just blocked me on FB today. We’re in the same company, but are on different floors so rarely get to see each other in person. I got FB after our breakup and so never had him as a friend and he didn’t know that I had FB until a few days ago when I joined our company’s FB group. Today I looked at our company’s FB page and found his posts all disappeared and that if I search for him it ends in nothing. On my friend’s FB page, his comments would appear, so that’s how I know he blocked me. His work contacts have been friendly and we haven’t had personal contacts in 1 month. In our work contacts, I’m professional and always end on a positive note, but also tried to avoid him as much as possible, such as being short with my emails and not include him in some of the CCs. On some work emails when he asked questions on behalf of the clients, I just emailed back the clients without ccing him. I also sent our colleague a friend request but not him, and also did not say “hi” to him when I went to see our supervisor (his office is right next door), so everything should indicate that I’m not trying to contact him on a personal level. Thus I don’t understand why he would go out of his way to block someone who hadn’t given an indication about contacting him personally again after our breakup and whose FB account he only found out about after he saw on the company’s FB page. Any advice on what to do would be appreciated. Should I try texting him after our NC period? Thank you!
Desiree

July 17, 2014 at 3:59 am

My boyfriend of a few months blocked me. Everything seemed fine, he was normal one day & the next day he was acting really weird & I questioned him about it & he got really mad & defensive & wouldn’t answer my calls. He blocked my number on Sunday and I have been freaking out, texting him from different numbers asking him to please call me (he doesnt have social media). I asked if this is his way of breaking up to please just be respectful enough to call & tell me cause the way he is going about things is really hurting me. He never replied or called & just blocked the numbers I texted him from aswell. I am so hurt & confused and don’t understand how he can be so cold towards me. Obviously this is his way of ending things, he doesn’t want anything to do with me. Do u think this means he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore? Please help. What do u think i should do?

admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:13 pm

I wouldn’t say that.

Sometimes him blocking you means he does have feelings for you.
Desiree

July 21, 2014 at 6:55 pm

Well here’s a sad update. Turns out he blocked me cause he went to see another woman, i just found out he has had another girlfriend the whole time we were together. I am devastated. I waited for him while he was deployed in kuwait, I was nothing but good to him, there for him, faithful, honest & loyal and he basically had me here in ny and a girlfriend in atlanta. He flew in to see me, spent a few days with me and then flew out to see her as soon as he left me. He was telling me he was gonna marry me & telling her the same thing. He told her when his deployment ends in august he was going to move in with her in atlanta and he was telling me this whole time he was moving to nyc to be with me in august & even had me looking for apartments. We been together for months & he just met my family too (per his request). I don’t understand why he did this to me. I never heard from him again since I saw him last week & now that he got caught i see he blocked me on skype and is busy working on getting his atlanta girlfriend back because she told me & sent me screenshots. I feel so stupid and devastated. I don’t know why he dragged me into this bs, I am a really good woman, I have a lot of values and all I wanted was to find true love, get married and have a family and instead I was completely played but someone I trusted & cared for deeply and this seems to be the story of my life. Why do men do these things? He said all the right things, he really made me feel like he liked me & we had a future, i don’t understand. sorry, i am blabbing, but i am sooo hurt & devastated : (
admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:21 pm

I am so sorry.

He is a scumbag.

Plain and simple. I would say that at this point don’t try to get him back. There are a lot of good guys out there and he isn’t one of them.

Jenna

July 17, 2014 at 3:36 am

my boyfriend of two years, well we broke up from a stupid drunken fight. i blocked him on facebook out of anger, but unblocked him. a day later he blocks me, but than another day later unblocked me after a friend of mine asked him if we were still together, he said no cause of the drunk fight, yet he has been “liking” a pic and status i put on facebook (we are not FB friends) but my FB is public. we have been in NC for 10 days. when can i reach out to him or shall i wait for him to reach out to me?

admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:12 pm

I think 21 days so in 11 more days.
Jenna

August 13, 2014 at 1:24 am

thanks for your reply. since ive commented things have been complicated again. i was doing NC and starting to live my life again but he would msg me on facebook saying rude things like “ur ignoring me you can go out with your friends (who are female if that matters) but not take the time to work on us” i posted a status about going to a bar to see my friend’s boyfriend’s band and he wrote me 15 mean messages about it and than blocked me again. that was 2 weeks ago and i am still blocked. any advice? my only option of course is no contact since im blocked from his phone and facebook. but if he does unblock me, what than? this is a messy rollercoaster relationship but 2 years is a long time to spend with someone (i think anyway) and we always talked seriously about our future (marriage/kids) we just cant communicate for reasons i dont understand. thanks for your help.
Jenna

August 19, 2014 at 1:23 am

well i am now unblocked (yet again…smh) and he messaged me a picture with a wuote about “being ignored”
doing NC is making him angry and thinking i am ignoring him. i am not trying to ignore him, but i dont know what to say about him. is it possible NC can blow up in my face?
admin

August 19, 2014 at 2:30 pm

Yep which means it is working in a strange way.
Jenna

August 28, 2014 at 1:45 am

hmm interesting. so im guessing your gonna tell me to keep up with NC?

Brittany

July 16, 2014 at 6:42 pm

My ex and I have been broken up for a year and a half but have communicated off and on….got back together a few times to find out he has a gf and then he chooses her and blocks me…but is communicating by emails alittle bit not a lot but some like he still cares, he says he doesnt see us together and wont give me a chance but wont let me go if that makes sense I still love him and I have made efforts to change myself and my life but he thinks im repeat the past!!! Please help is it possible for me to get my ex back? or has that ship sailed away and what should I do wait for him to talk to me and enjoy life in the meantime let his relationship with her play out even though he states because he cheated on her with me that they are “working on it” any advice would help me out

admin

July 18, 2014 at 2:59 pm

He may have blocked you also b/c he is afraid you will contact his gf.

Brooklyn

July 16, 2014 at 2:34 am

Hi Chris, love the guide. I have been with my boyfriend a couple months, everything was great but we got in our first fight last week. After we made up he told me that during that fight he was planning to block me but then changed his mind, but said he has done that to a girl he was dating in the past & never talked to her again cause he doesn’t like arguing. I said so if we get in another argument u are going to just disappear? He said no he wouldn’t do that to me. Unfortunately we did end up have another argument & he started ignoring my calls & texts & then blocked me on his phone without even saying a word. I guess that is his way of breaking up with me & i know he has done this in the past so makes me think i will never hear from him again. I have been really emotional & text him from another phone a few times asking him to please call my cell , that’s it’s an emergency & show some respect after everythin & at least give me some closure but he never called me & it’s been a few days. He doesn’t have facebook, but he does have skype & i noticed he did not block me from skype. I just saw your guide, did i ruin my chances by trying to contact him? Cause truth is, i do have a lot to offer & he is really stupid if he doesn’t see that, but i’m scared i messed that up cause I went into panic mode. What do you think? What should i do? thanks : )

admin

July 16, 2014 at 3:00 pm

Your first fight and he broke up with you????

Man, thats harsh for him.
Brooklyn

July 16, 2014 at 5:09 pm

i guess that was his way of breaking up with me, he just blocked me and is ignoring me & i don’t know what to do : (

Maya

July 15, 2014 at 1:38 am

I broke up with my ex more than a year ago. Since then he dated this other lady. After things ended with her (she got engaged to another man a few months after they broke up) I realise he deleted her in facebook, the same time he deleted me in facebook. But then he added me again. Only to delete me again, and then add me again. He did the same for her once. Basically deleting her and adding her again. Currently she’s not his facebook friend, while.. err I am his Facebook friend. Hahaha.

You’re probably wondering why I would accept his friend request after he deleted me. I’m okay with it. Heck. Facebook is nothing. I’m just curious what is going through his head doing this.

Why would a man keep doing this whole deleting and adding you again in facebook? Why keep some ex gfs in your Facebook and play this whole adding and deleting game? Currently he still texts me randomly. Sending pics of himself at work/things he’s been doing, good night/morning messages etc. I don’t really entertain him. I dont get what his motive is? Does he want me back?

admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:20 pm

Probably because he wants to spy on you and then gets angry at what he finds and deletes and then adds you again cause he wants to spy again.

Rina

July 14, 2014 at 9:13 pm

Soo…..here’s my situation: My boyfriend and I broke up on July 8th, and that day I kind of made the mistake of freaking out (you know.. I begged and did the stuff you aren’t supposed to do), but when I got home that night I quickly viewed your site (which I remembered from a previous breakup I had gone through)… well after that I implemented the No Contact rule, but then my ex messaged me for a few clothes of his that I had at my house and he told me to come over to his apartment for my bike. Also, after he texted me he started a mini conversation with me where he said he was happy for me. I thought that was strange because he’s never been that nice to me before out of our whole relationship…, so the next day I went over to his apartment for mybike. Well, when I got there… he wouldn’t let me inside the apartment to see his roommate who’s one of my good friends (but she let me inside sinse she’s the actual one that’s on the lease) and I ignored him the whole time just talking to her. He started looking at me when he thought I wasn’t lookingand then when I would look at him… he’sd quickly look away. Then when I was having conversations with my friend he’d butt into our conversations -.- but I just continued to ignore him. And when I would continue to ignore him, he’d get mad and storm off into another room, but then he came back out and sit next to me trying to ignore me back (which wasn’t to hard to pick up on loll) then he asked me all nice and gentle-like, “are you sure you have enough money for the bus?” I thought that was strange because, like I said, he’s never been that nice to me (or anyone for that matter).
I think it’d be a good time to mention that the day we broke up (July 8th) I met a guy named Leonard who was so sweet to me (this happened literally 10 minutes aftermy ex and I broke up) and I was so happy about it that Itexted my friend (my exes roommate) about it. Well, he found out somehow about it and when I went there that day to go get my bike, he yelled at me about Leonard and said things like, “is he your new boyfriend now?!?” And “do you like him?!?” right before I left.Jealous much? Well, anyway, after that day I stuck with the no contact rule. It’s now day 3 of no contact and when I viewed my FB today I noticed that he blocked me (okay, so I did try to view his profile, but I still didn’t talk to him) :/ I’m not sure why he would do that but it could have to do with one of my FB posts indirectly saying that he has a Narcisstic personality (I didn’t tag him in it or put his name on it or anything… hence “indirectly”). He is the type of person to view my profile because he looks at the texts between me and my friend (his roommate) and 5 minutes after we broke up he looked through my phone to see who I was texting/ messaging on FB. He’s a controlling type.
Anyway, do you think he still cares about me by what I just told you? And why do you think he blocked me on FB? Also, I think it would help to give you some background about our relationship:
We were together 3 months, but I hung out with him for like 4 months before we started going out. We were only supposed to be friends with benefits because I had athis guy I was in love with (this guy was in love with me too), but this guy had to go on the run, and my ex kept asking me to be his (HE EVEN WENT TO MY MOMS HOUSE AND ASKED HER IF HE HAD HER PERMISSION TO GO OUT WITH ME. HE WENT THERE EVERYDAY LOOKING FOR ME! . To say the least, he wasobsessed and I didn’t even like him at the time… just his looks.) , so I said yes to my ex that I would go out with him because I felt pressured. Then after tha,t I continued a sexual relationship with the guy I was in love with till he had to flee the country (when his warrent was set out) which means I cheated on my ex 4 times in the beginning of our relationship. After that, he started being emotionally abusive andcontrolling/ manipulative. I tried breaking up with him Several times but he wouldn’t take no for an answer (he begged and fake cried). That’s when I started getting physically abusive because I just couldn’t take him being emotionally abusive toward me (he was also forceful in bed a lot because of his anger Toward me). He even started drinking and getting high everyday which I think is my fault because I cheated on him. Anyway, this is our background (please, I don’t want this big lecture about how crazy I am for wanting him back when he treated me like that… really, it was me who started it and I want to change my ways and I did like a month before our relationship ended and he stopped the forceful sex like 2 months before it ended)… please let me know if you think he still cares about me and why you think he blocked me.

admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:14 pm

It’s his fault he started drinking not yours. Granted, you did cheat on him but ultimately it was his choice to drink.

Honestly if I was you I would find someone else. This guy seems like a basket case…
Rina

July 15, 2014 at 7:44 pm

That may be true, but I love him unconditionally. Really, I’m not yet sure if I want to get back together with him or not… I’m just considering it for now. Right now I’m just trying to improve myself (eg. Eat more Healthy, Change my attitude to a more positive one, become more independent because right now I’m co-dependent), and maybe after 3 months or so if HE’s improved and got everything together then I’ll use your guide to get him back. I really wish I could help him with his addiction :/ All I want is for him to be safe and happy… and right now I know he’s not happy or else he wouldn’t be drinking and using drugs like this. All I can do is hope though since I’m not having any contact with him whatsoever ^.^ Anyway, thank you for your input Chris! 😀
admin

July 16, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Its admirable that you care so much about him but don’t forget about you.

Its ok to be a little selfish and in the long run make sure he is the best choice for you ok!
Rina

July 16, 2014 at 7:43 pm

okay Thank you Chris! :3

Samantha

July 14, 2014 at 5:17 pm

Chris,

Sorry about this huge post but I have a really difficult situation on my hands.

I followed your guide and it worked incredibly good: my ex and I dated once and he started to feel comfortable enough to text me every day, we were having this friend vibe going on that made him approach me. The thing here is that after 3 months since we broke up and two months being freinds, I was getting a Little too impatient about us coming back as a couple. He was giving me a bunch of signs about him being really interested on me (buying a movie so we can watch it together and asking me out on a sat. night to watch it at his place (we were about to re schedule our second date for this since I was not able to meet him that day), he was really interested on my possible new job, sending fun videos, he even opened his heart one night and told me he was feeling depressed and not comfortable with other people, not even his friends)
Everything was nice but not deep enough for me since I was feeling very much like a friend, he flirted with me but very little and I wanted to feel desired as a girlfriend also, I am really impatient and I know this is a defect I have.
Let me add that we didnt have any sexual contact during this process, not even a kiss on our first and only date.
So turns out that one night last week, after a couple of drinks I told him via Facebook that I missed him as a couple and that I was still thinking about us having a chance to raise a relationship. He told me “I dont know what to say to you, since I am not interested on being your boyfriend anymore. I have deep feelings for you and I thought that at least we could be friends. You broke up with me because of a fool situation and I think you dont know what you want,I really dont want to hurt you with my friendship, I will back off is that´s what you need” So I got really upset and said to him : “Look I really want to get back together as a couple, you giving me your cheap friendship as a deal is not enough.
At that very moment he said “Look I am going to block you right now, I really thought you were ok with us being friends and I have some bad memories about us as a couple, and by the way my friendship is not a cheap one. Bye and take care.” Pum. He blocked me from Facebook and whatsapp (thats how we used to have most of our conversations).
I felt terrible and went to sleep, and the next day I sent several sms txt messages to him apologizing for my attitude, and explained about his frienship being cheap, that I valued it and I really meant I wanted more between us.
I also sent him again that I wanted to be with him, that all I needed was his honesty. (I broke up with him because he was flirting w girls behind my back on instagram since I didnt have an account there, eventhough he agreed on stopping that behaviour since month 1 of our relationship, and he started doing it again after 1 and a half years of dating me. We were a couple 2 years 4 months). Flirting is a huge no no for me and he knew it).
It has been 3 days since he blocked me and I havent sent anything else to him.

I´ve been thinking that, instead of wanting me back, he wanted to keep me as a friend since he was getting the best of both worlds, his girl as a close person to count on, but not close enough to commit to a relationship.

I want to ask you, Do you think there is a possibility to get him back now after I put myself on a really bad place? Should I apply the no contact rule? If so, should I dot it for 30 days or should I cut it or extend it since I threw my cards on the table already (in an incorrect way I know).

Do you think there is a chance that he would consider getting back with me, if he always told me I was the only woman he has ever loved? he told me that even at the end.

I know I took 155212458 steps back from what I have already accomplished, I read your guide about an ex wanting to be only friends too late, and I read the one about what to do it your ex blocks you, and it is really frustrating and hurtful to me since I don´t know what to do now that I pushed him away and got blocked. Please help me with some advice.

Oh and btw, he didn´t block me from Relay App, I checked and we are still friends there. Not too long ago I suggested him to download it so we could send funny gifs to each other, and we had, it was a nice way to communicate between us having a good laugh. Do you think he forgot to block me there or it could mean something? That App is not very popular and we pretty much used it between us only.

PS. my ex is the stubborn type of guy, he has a huge ego and is really impulsive when it comes to emotions, I was the analytical one on the relationship.

admin

July 15, 2014 at 2:44 pm

I think he is very impulsive but hopefully he will wake up and realize he made a mistake blockign you on everything.

Megan

July 14, 2014 at 4:32 pm

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend just moved out in the middle of the day when I was not home. We had had a small fight that had blown way out of proportion. I had actually said to him he must leave out of frustration. We had stayed together for a year and a half. We were so happy. Even the day before the fight he had rented us a movie, got us some wine. The next morning before the fight he made us breakfast.

A lot had changed in my life the previous few months. I got a new job, which paid more than his and was a more authoritive position. I had been improving my looks. On his side, his job was not going well, he was picking up weight. But I still loved him…

Anyway after he left me I smsed and phoned relentlessly. He ignored me after sending one last message that he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore and I must focus on my career. He after that blocked me. I went on to contact then for 5 days until I was in a car accident. I just wanted him to console me but he never answered my calls or my messages regarding the accident.

I am so confused. Just the weekend before he was telling me how his hand felt empty without mine in it, when he was visiting his parents. I really don’t know how to take this at all. He even changed the pin at the dvd store!

What’s going on in his mind?

admin

July 15, 2014 at 2:40 pm

He sounds like a total douche…

Just leaving like that with no explanation.

Go NC on him immediately. Right now HE doesn’t deserve you.
Megan

July 22, 2014 at 4:52 pm

What would make him go that far to be so hurtful out of the blue like that?

He had asked me if I had been cheating on him a couple of weeks prior, as I had been working late. I definitely was not. I did actually catch him taking his last load out of my place, and all he said was now I can move on and be happy with someone else.

I feel very hurt at the moment because at least if I knew why exactly, I could maybe deal with it. I know we had had a few fights, but over silly things.

I really love him, but I’m wondering if he maybe just isn’t a bit crazy and never loved me in the first place.
admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Does he believe you were cheating so much that he wouldn’t believe anything you said.
Megan

July 24, 2014 at 7:54 pm

I really don’t know Chris. There was a lot of ups and downs right before he left. We fought about him saying he didn’t see his parents enough, although he had already been there both weekends of the month. We fought about me complaining about things not being fixed around the house (which he didn’t fix and I have since in one weekend fixed everything). And then all of a sudden the last fight we had he must have gone to his boys night of action cricket, all of his friends got on the bandwagon, then the next day he didn’t come home, and the following with assistance of his friends he moved out. He always asked me to go with to his cricket games, I let him go alone so he could have his ‘guy thing’. Now I’m wondering if it was only to my detriment. I really was planning on marrying this guy. Also since his younger brother got engaged he stopped having interest in weddings and a future. He also didn’t seem to happy for me with my new job, or any self improvement. I’m just wondering if this is maybe a ‘soul searching’ time for him that he needs to find himself again, maybe loose some weight and see that what I was asking out of him is what is expected in a relationship. Or if he is just evil and crazy and my love is misplaced. I’ve loved so many wrong people, I just thought, really believed he was one of the good ones. I kind of feel like he was harbouring resentment against me for self improving and for some reason he blames me that he didn’t improve himself. Its sad. I mean I loved him as is…
admin

July 25, 2014 at 2:05 pm

Definitely go into NC.

He seems a little difficult b/c his reasons for fighting are dumb.
Megan

July 25, 2014 at 4:35 pm

He is very difficult to get through to. Which is why arguments were always so frustrating and ended up blowing up. He would shut down when he did something wrong and avoid confrontation by running to his parents or locking himself in the spare room. I’m just hoping this NC will give him time to realise what he’s lost. I must say that him being like this is really giving me a bad aftertaste and making me wonder if I’ve lost a catch too. You’re right I don’t deserve to be treated like this. But those weak moments really suck. I wish I could just take comfort in that someone with his big ego could actually feel regret and miss someone? Is it possible? Or do guys like this just not care?
admin

July 28, 2014 at 1:54 pm

What a baby… (your ex not you.)

I have a feeling the NC is going to work really well fo ryou.
Megan

July 28, 2014 at 7:42 pm

Thanks Chris, I really needed to hear that today. Was really close to breaking NC, but still going strong into day 9! and got through my first whole weekend. Really feels like an achievement. I was just wondering. Since my friend still can see him on whatsapp, she shows me his profile and he puts up pics of him from almost 2 years ago before we met, when he was still young and thin. Why would he do this? Oh and his status said today ’26’ which happens to be exactly the number of days since he broke up with me. Also since he can see me ‘cos I haven’t blocked him on whatsapp you think he’s still checking my pics? I’ve gone back to gym, and even though I wasn’t fat I’ve toned up quite nicely. So I put happy pics up and happy statuses… hoping this will make him think a little.
Oh and I went on a ‘blind’ date. It was awful lol, but in a funny way. Really not my type. Poor guy lol.
Megan

August 21, 2014 at 4:06 pm

Hi Chris, so it’s been 21 day of NC. I am finding it really heard especially since he has not tried to make contact. I’ve heard he has gone into my old place of work a lot. He told one guy that we broke up because he wanted to focus on his career… that’s a new one… I’m afraid that he is staying with his friend and he’s not feeling the loneliness that I am feeling. Also I saw a pic of him and he has lost A LOT of weight, especially considering its only been about 6 weeks. He also looks a bit haggard as well. I’m just wondering if maybe it is just really over.
Megan

August 11, 2014 at 3:14 pm

So I had a falling out with this friend that my ex went to over the weekend. I was supposed to go to her, but I made up an excuse because it’s always about drinking with her and right now I don’t want to be drinking because it makes me depressed and I’m trying to be a better healthier me. So in anger (I think she was very drunk already) she said she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. After I didn’t respond to her rants for a while, she said that I am just as crazy as my ex said I am. Now I don’t know if she just said it to be bitchy, which is very much in her character, or if he did go in there and say I’m crazy. If he did, why would he do this? P.S. I’m still in NC.
admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:26 am

Look, this “friend” of yours is the crazy one…

Shes acting like a child just because you didn’t want to get drunk with her (which is not a very good idea.)
Megan

August 6, 2014 at 5:00 pm

Hey Chris. I couldn’t leave a comment on my post below so I’m just replying here. I’m still on NC and decided to block my ex on whatsapp so he cant see what I’m up to. What does it mean that he went into my previous store where I used to work and asked one of my good friends there if we are still friends and when last did she see me? There is so many stores where he could go in to buy his shopping. He also was telling her all about how he is gyming now and how he is on leave studying for a work thing. This information was offered, not asked.
admin

August 11, 2014 at 10:57 am

Sorry for the late response.

Been away for the last week or so.

It means that he is very interested in your whereabouts after the breakup.
admin

July 29, 2014 at 4:01 pm

Probably b/c he realizes he isn’t young and thing anymore?
Megan

July 25, 2014 at 4:37 pm

Oh and one more question. He has never had facebook. So since I’m blocked on Whatsapp, but I haven’t blocked him, so he can still see my picture and status… Should I use it in the same way with a ‘pretty pic’ and a happy status?

allie

July 13, 2014 at 4:47 am

To anyone who is willing to read my story, please help me.

My ex and I met a year ago. When we first started dating, well we did absolutely everything together. Everything changed when I started living with my roommate again. She is the type of person who feeds off of negativity and she really hated seeing my happy. I can only describe her as the type of friend who can be your best friend but also your worst enemy and very time she hurt me it hurt me deeply (which was frequent). Why I was friends with her was because I didn’t have many friends and I was okay with having a nasty friend than no friends at all. Well, I changed after a while into a really ugly person. I was so self absorbed that I couldn’t see how I was treating my family and my boyfriend. I had a lot of big life choices that I needed to make as well and so I was wound up with stress, bitterness, and anger. I didn’t notice anything till he ignored me for two weeks. We broke up and I half assed convinced him to stick around and that stuck for about a second. After he officially let me go, I completely lost it. Begging, stalking, crying, pleading; anything you can think of I did it. I embarrassed myself and I made the sweetest man I have ever met hate me. We broke up in December. I have tried contacting him, sadly multiple times. I’ve received hateful stares, mean texts, and the very cold shoulder. About a month ago he told a could people I know that I am crazy.

Right now I am past wanting to try and start a relationship with him or even being friends. Don’t get me wrong I would give my right arm and my left to be with him but it is past that now. I hurt him more than he wants to show. Yes it has been a while and I agree I should probably have moved on by now. Since the break up I have worked so hard to work past so many things in my life that I had let go for years. I was broken when I met him and it was terrible timing but I believe that break up was meant to happen so I could be my own hero, as silly as that sounds. I looked to every man in order to mend myself but I can say through sweat, handwork, God, and hours of crying; I saved myself. In this moment, I just miss my best friend that would lay awake talking to me about my life and what our life could be. We could tell each other everything.. and I mean everything. He cut me out completely. Blocking me on his phone and acting like I never meant anything to him Getting back together needs to be his idea and I truly just want us to find closure. My motive is not to get back together it is to mend someone’s heart that I hurt and I care so much that I hurt him.. I’m sorry that with how mushie that was but I fully believe that. He told me to leave him alone and I love him enough to give him what he wants. I see him from time to time and I can see he’s happy but not happy like I have seen him. He is so stubborn and sadly I love that stubborn ass even though he has hurt me. His friend said to me a couple months ago that its like he’s just floating through life. I have tried everything to move on and forget how much I love him but nothing has worked. I can date till I am blue in the face but I still love him and his stubborn heart. It’s truly terrify that nothing that man does can make me love him less.

So my question is not how can I get my ex boyfriend back but how can I accomplish just a conversation with an old friend who I have hurt deeply. I know if I was in his position I would walk away and never look back.

Thank you for reading my pitiful novel. If you have advice or comments, I will be very grateful. xox-allie

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Do you have an email or any other means of contacting him?
allie

July 20, 2014 at 3:35 pm

I did Facebook message him and he never replied. I see him at the gym and I always catch him looking at me especially if I’m having a conversation with someone. his looks used to be angry but now like almost look curious. Should I approach him at the gym? A while back his best friends gf hung out with me and he asked her to stop. we were both so stuck being angry at eachother when we broke up that we couldn’t have a mature conversation but now I think we can.

Samantha

July 11, 2014 at 9:23 pm

Hey Chris, I posted on another article of yours when I had my first date with my ex. Man did I screw up. I was going on the right way with my ex, we were about to plan our second date, I was taking it slow, he bought a movie to watch it together and that was the plan. One saturday I was out on a date and he actually texted me, asking what I was doing. Unfortunately y didnt see the tex til I got home, and he told me we wanted to invite me to his place on a saturday night to watch the movie. I said sorry i had no battery left but that I would had loved seeing him, he said he would had loved that having you here. Anyways, things were going smooth, and wow, a couple of days ago I was drunk as hell, it was like 4 am and he texted me he was drunk too and were chatting around and.. well I messed up big time. I told him hey, I miss you.. and he asked me what´s exactly that you miss? and I said look I ve been not good lately since we are not together I miss having you as a boyfriend (3 months have passed and weve gone out one time and texted almost everyday). On my drunk head I thought he was going to tell me hey I miss you too, but well, he typed this:
I dont know what to say to you, I really think our relationship didnt work out but I did love you, and I thought that at least we could be together as friends, I really dont want to hurt you and if this is affecting you I will back up.
Well as you can imagine I got so angry that I told him: You know what I really want to approach you on a romantic level now and your cheap friendzone is not working for me.
So he got upset as well and told me that he really didnt want to go back to having a relationship with me since I didnt know what I wanted and such. Never offended me though, but he told me that it was really bad to read that I thought his friendship was cheap.
And the worst thing that could happened happened: said Im going to block you I really dont feel good about this. He did, blocked me on Facebook and whatsapp and those were the ways we were communicating.
As you can imagine I woke up feeling like crap and I sent him a bunch of texts (sms) telling him I was really sorry I felt pathetic and I shouldn´t have mentioned anything, that I was sorry for saying his friendship was cheap, that I meant that I wanted more and that he could take a time to think about it. No answer from him, nothing. He knows how mad it made me when he used to block me after a fight but Chris I feel really desperate since I acted in a irrationally, I know I commited a mistake, and he was giving me signals that he wanted me in his life, I dont know how, but he bought a movie for us, he texted me every single day even if I didnt, he used to ak me about my new job and my day, sent me videos about things we like, and the most confusing signal was that one texting on a saturday (which is like his official men´s night), saying he was downtown (where I hang out almost every weekend) and that he wanted to take me to his place to watch that movie.. it was late so I believe he wanted me to stay over.
PLease Chris, Im losing my mind here, what should I do? I know the NC is a most right now, but, what if he really meant the “I only wanted your friendship”? Was he using me for when he was alone? I think it was about time for him to come clean about us, but he friendzoned me, I dont know maybe he needed more time to get clearance, or he freaked out when I told him I missed him?.. Still I can tell you he didnt treat me as a friend. Please give me a good advise, how´s the wáter looking for you? Im going to San Francisco for a month or maybe more, hopefully Ill find some piece of mind because I ve been working hard on taking things slow and being patient. Im the most unpatient person in the planet.
I feel like poop since I messed up on the process, I think I was like a month away of coming back with my ex. Now I dont know if I became crazy and I had this idea of him wanting me back but he actually didnt, or if he needed more time or what. Should I abort the mission, wait, have hope, what should I do? I need your man´s and expert opinión on this, please help me!

admin

July 14, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Wait you were out on a date with someone else???
Samantha

July 14, 2014 at 5:39 pm

yes I was, like you said on your guide, we should be able to go out or date instead of waiting for the ex to call us, and it was saturday and I was feeling exhausted about waiting the whole day without him reaching me. A day before, on friday we were supposed to watch the movie, and he cancelled our plans, I was afraid he would go out and do his things while I waited on him.
But what about the blocking? After what I told you how´s everything to you? he hasn´t contacted me nor unblocked me, and I havent reached him either. Does he need some time or he is really getting me out of his life? what do you think?

Angel

July 10, 2014 at 7:39 pm

Hey Chris , I’ve had the full block out 🙁 we have only been broken up two weeks and he blocked me because all my friends kept messaging him and it annoyed him 🙁 he was really angry and said he never wanted to see or talk to me again

admin

July 11, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Why did your friends message him???

Jess

July 9, 2014 at 7:46 pm

Hi Chris,

A few weeks ago received a Full Block Out (phone, apps, facebook, skype, you name it)
His status: super angry and resentful, probably hateful too.
Made the mistake of trying to contact = failure & more blocking.
Will employ the NC for 30 days (or more, will use that time to work on myself and my own goals)
While I do not anticipate being unblocked, the only way for me to contact him after the NC period is email.This isn’t as instant as a text message and it is harder to initiate positive interaction.

Do you have any specifics for what to write in an email, considering the natural delay of emails (not everyone checks them regularly).

I can use a program that allows me to get read notifications which will tell me if he has opened the mail, but again the content of this email will have to somehow engage a willingness to unblock me, for me to eventually be able to text, call or initiate any other form of instant communication.

Any ideas ?

admin

July 10, 2014 at 2:24 pm

Mostly just be friendly, sweet and apologetic for anything that you really did do wrong.
Jess

July 11, 2014 at 10:08 pm

Hi again,

I was not unfaithful, the only thing I did wrong was continue to call and text after he told me he was no longer interested, which got me blocked as it really angered him. (bad break up + long distance does not help matters)
What if he does not respond to the initial message after 3 months, how long should you wait to try again and how long should you keep trying in general ?
admin

July 14, 2014 at 2:55 pm

Hav eyou tried contacting him other than the initial message 3 months ago?
Jess

July 21, 2014 at 5:11 pm

Thank you for responding btw!

sorry typo I meant 30 days (not 3 months)

Status: in NC zone right now.

I am blocked everywhere.

He even changed his phone number. But I found his new number only because the joint bank account that is now closed sends me email updates, it sent me an phone number change update on our profile.

I am afraid of using this new number to reach out to him even after NC… he could get upset or freaked (stalker!?) which will only further justify his decision to end things.

Thoughts ?
admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Ya don’t use the new number to reach out to him. He will think you are a stalker.

Umm… What about Facebook?
Jess

July 24, 2014 at 8:27 pm

Facebook is blocked also…

Complete and total block…

This might be a good new blog subject if a solution can be found ?

Ideas ?
admin

July 25, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Thats kind of why I wrote this post. haha.

gautmi

July 8, 2014 at 11:37 am

Hi chris,
My boyfriend has a tendency of disrespecting me. He says and do things which hurts me and he knws it. Frm last 3yrs, i m accepting dis though i m hurt deeply. I keep telling him that his behaviour towards me is very rude and insulting. But he dont want to change i think. He nvr tells me what he is doing or where he is going. From last 1 yr, he keeps blocking me. He unblocks me whn he wants den blocks me again.
I got so frustrated that i decided not to respond. But den he started contacting me 10 times a day. I ignored him for 5 days but den he sent me a msg saying dat he cant live widout me and is sorry abt his behaviour. He promised to change his behaviour towards me. i accepted his apology just 3 days back. He met me yesterday, everything was fine. I told him yesterday dat i want to meet him today as we hv met after 20 days and i really want to spend time wid him today. He agreed. I cooked for him and waiting but den he msged me dat he is not coming as he is going somewhere. I kept calling and msgng him that it was already decided and i cooked for him. It is not d first time he cancelled on me. He said he is busy and cant talk. But i was trying and by miatake my call got accepted. I hear some noises and figured out that he can talk but not talking to me. Den he found out that my call got accepted By mistake by him, he immediately disconnected. Den blcoked me agn so there would b no mistake.
He was attending every call, it was showing call waiting but it was only me he was ignoring.

However i kept trying his phn, After 5 hours, he sent me a very insulting msg dat “go and fuck ur dad and dont call me”. I cried so badly. He comes to me when he plans it. He ALWAYS cancels my every single plan and dis is really frustrating. Den abv all, he blocks me and talk to everyone except me.

Just 3-4 days back he apologised and today he again did all dis. I am planning to go NC after reading ur guidelines. Please any advice would be helpful.
Loyola

July 4, 2014 at 5:36 pm

Would contacting my ex come across the wrong way?
He had unblocked me for about a week now and has said nothing?
Yes he has, he did so yesterday ! His profile picture is of him alone not with his girl. That’s if they are still together. To be honest I have no idea. On another app which he thought I didn’t know about he had pictures up with her and they were very intimate pictures, not very appropriate as a profile picture.
He had returned before but told me he was not ready, but when he sent me a message a couple of weeks later to congratulate me on passing an exam, I decided not to answer, as he seemed to be playing games and he had thrown himself into a relationship with the other girl. That was when he decided to block me. It’s been 1.5months since he blocked me .

admin

July 7, 2014 at 5:50 pm

It depends on what you say when you contact them.
Loyola

July 10, 2014 at 9:05 pm

Ok so is it better to wait for him to talk to me? What is it I should do?

Em

July 3, 2014 at 2:12 pm

is this the same as he may unfollow you but not block you?

admin

July 7, 2014 at 5:38 pm

I think a lot of the stuff applies still.
Em

July 8, 2014 at 2:47 am

thank you chris!
since he unfollowed me after such a long break up period (nine months) does that mean he doesn’t want to see the stuff i post? i posted a picture on twitter and few moments after he unfollowed.
Em

July 3, 2014 at 2:46 pm

Also if he unfollows me do you i unfollow him or do i leave it and act as if it didn’t happen and have it not bother me
admin

July 7, 2014 at 5:38 pm

Leave it and act as if it didn’t happen.

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