This is the ultimate guide on what to do if your ex boyfriend ghosted you.
And let me be clear about something:
This is not your average “ghosting” guide.
Yes, I’m going to talk about what ghosting is and how you can potentially overcome it but you’re also going to see me talk about things that no one else is really talking about when it comes to ghosting.
So, if your ex boyfriend ghosted you and you’re looking for a north star.
Look no further.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizWhat Is Ghosting?
As I stated above, today we’re going to talk about what to do if your ex ghosted you.
We will not only define what ghosting is, but we will also give you a step-by-step plan to help you get a response out of an ex who ghosted you.
Let’s tackle the question of what ghosting is first.
I was in college when I first heard about ghosting and I had just started ex-boyfriend recovery.
My dad, who was helping me, told me to check out this concept called ‘ghosting.’ I kind of scoffed at him and said, that’s stupid, and there’s no way that becomes a thing. It’s probably just some mixed signal fad. Well, I’m sure we can all tell that I was wrong.
Now, when you go to Google and type what is ghosting, an actual definition from the dictionary pops up:
“Ghosting is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.”
This is where things become a little tricky because it’s very rare for someone to suddenly disappear on you when you’re dating.
Breakup by ghosting usually happens by texts in situations like this, and usually, there is a breakup talk. So, ghosting essentially happens in other odd situations.
The first one is that most of the time, people coming to us are in relationships that haven’t lasted that long if an ex straight up ghosts them. So, let’s say you’ve been dating someone for 3 weeks, and then suddenly, you stop hearing from them. Welcome to ghost town.
On the other hand, let’s say you’re in a situation where you’ve been dating for 5 years, and you stop hearing from your ex.
You’re probably gonna call the cops and try to figure out if they’re okay.
It’s very rare for that to happen, so we’ve noticed that we tend to get people saying things like they’re being ghosted when their ex has talked to them and said, “I’m not interested in this relationship anymore.”
Their ex then simply stopped talking to them no matter how much they reached out or tried to get them to respond.
That’s our version of ghosting.
Why Do Exes Ghost?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThe key to understanding why exes ghost is by understanding the dynamics between anxious attachment styles and avoidant attachment styles.
If you’re reading this, you most probably have an anxious attachment style, while your ex might have an avoidant attachment style. The interesting part is that the two are drawn to each other like bees to honey.
Avoidant people tend to romanticize past lovers or idealize yet to found future lovers, as both concepts keep true vulnerability at a safe distance.
Avoidants won’t typically miss you until they feel like there is no chance they can get you back, then they give themselves permission to have nostalgia.
It is a weird hang-up that sometimes they’re not even aware of.
So, understanding how avoidants romanticize can help us understand the dynamic between anxious people and avoidant people and why they’re intertwined.
People in relationships like these are almost always in the same self-fulfilling cycle.
The Self-Fulfilling Attachment Cycle
- An avoidant pursues the anxious attachment person aggressively because they begin to romanticize the yet to be found lover.
- The anxious person reciprocates.
- Cracks begin to form as the avoidant realizes that this person might be too much.
- The anxious person begins to worry that the avoidant person is pulling away and digs in further.
- The avoidant person freaks out because their independence is being threatened.
- The anxious person craves reassurance that things are ok.
- The avoidant person can’t take it anymore and leaves.
This is the point where ghosting occurs.
The signs were all there – the avoidant would constantly withdraw inwardly, showing something is wrong, but they won’t tell you when you ask.
This leads us to the million-dollar question:
What To Do If Someone Ghosted You?
What matters isn’t so much what you say to the person who ghosted you but what you’re not saying to the person who ghosted you.
Avoidants are highly attracted to past lovers and yet to be partners who they can romanticize about. The key to understanding this is that they’re obsessed with these ideas because they’re only inwardly formulating these ideas without any active human connection. They do this to stay away from emotional intimacy and safeguard their independence.
This is the key component to trying to handle to get a response from someone who ghosted you.
Here are some steps to help:
Make Sure You Do Longer Periods Of No Contact
We’re finding more and more that longer periods of no contact seem to be having a stronger effect on avoidants.
A no contact rule is a period of time where you purposely ignore your ex with the intent of outgrowing them. This can have the added benefit of making them miss you or, in this case, make your avoidant ex romanticize you.
So, what’s a longer period of no contact?
We’ve identified 3 periods which you can usually apply.
- A 21-day rule
- a 30-day rule
- and a 45-day rule
We recommend that a 45-day rule is probably the best course of action when you’ve been ghosted.
Projecting That You Are Moving On During No Contact
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThis can be done in a variety of ways.
The most direct way of showing your ex that you’re moving on is simply to go on dates with other people. Why is it so important to show your ex that you are moving on?
Here’s what we know about avoidant people – they do not give themselves permission to miss you or enter the nostalgic state where they romanticize your relationship if they feel safe. The only way they feel safe is if they know for sure you’re not going to try to win them back.
Weirdly, it’s reverse psychology by going on dates with someone else even if you do not want to fall in love with them. Doing that indicates to your ex that you’re moving on and you want them to think this, especially if they are exhibiting highly avoidant behaviors.
Make Them Obsess About You On Social Media
Avoidants will look at your social media.
People have a misconception that avoidants avoid you all together.
That’s not what we’ve found about avoidants.
We know that avoidants romanticize things they can’t have.
So in a weird way, social media is the perfect window into your life where they can imagine themselves with you without having to be there. So, what should you be doing on social media? You should be projecting the type of life that you want to project and that shows you are moving on.
Here are a few tips:
- Do not start posting like crazy. Yes, we want you to post more, but if you go from posting once a day to five times a day, it looks like you’re trying too hard.
- Do not sad post. Do not post annoying sad poems or breakup songs or make some huge declaration of how much better you are without your ex, as it is too direct. What you’re looking for are subtle ways to make your ex want to be with you. You can do this by doing things you’ve always wanted to do with them but now without them. Things like going out to parties, adrenaline-filled activities like bungee jumping, but the key is to be authentic about the fun you’re having. It is okay to feel sad at first, but we want you to have authentic fun when you are doing the fun things.
- Do not overdo jealousy ploys. Your best bet to use jealousy via social media to show that you are moving on isn’t to directly take a picture with another guy but subscribe to the less is more method. One of the smartest methods is to go on a date with someone and subtly post a photo of the date where for example, their arm is visible in a photo of the food you post. That will be enough to drive your ex crazy because if your avoidant ex is paying attention to your social media, they can put 2 and 2 together. Believe me, exes are great detectives when they need to be.
- Do not reach out until you believe your ex is in a nostalgic state:The key to getting a response from someone who has ghosted you is to reach out when they are in the proper nostalgic state. We know that avoidants romanticize past partners and yet-to-be lovers, which keeps them at a distance. So, you want to do things and take enough time to project that you are moving on and then try to reach out to your ex.
This is most likely to get you a response.
Also, when you talk to them, don’t mention that they ghosted you.
In fact, pretend it never happened.
How To Reach Out?
There is a lot of things you can do, but you don’t need to go overboard. Simply asking their opinion on something is enough to warrant a response.
When Should I Reach Out?
The real trick is figuring out exactly when to reach out.
Luck plays a part in this, but there is a reason the no-contact rule exists. That is why we tell you to extend the no contact method. After 45-days, you will want to reach out to your ex, and hopefully, they are in that nostalgic state.
Conclusion:
- Ghosting happens because your ex is avoidant, and you are anxious.
- Once you exhibit that anxious behaviour to your ex, they worry about you causing a scene and threatening their independence, so they feel overwhelmed and ghost you.
- Avoidant exes often do not begin missing you or feeling nostalgia until you have moved on, so this is a key component to getting a response.
- You must use an extended 45-day no-contact rule and showcase that you have moved on, so they get to a nostalgic state.
Rosie
June 18, 2024 at 4:52 pm
I dated this guy for 3 months and then we became official. We reached our 7 months together and then I went on a 6 week medical elective abroad. Before this things were at a good point between us, we argued abit over silly things. During that time I would try a few times when he hurt me telling him I wanted to break up but he would always make me come back and I liked it too. Towards the 6 months I stopped doing that anyways. When I went away we kept little contact that first week then I saw he still was on a dating app. I tried to ask him about it but he was avoiding me, not answering my calls or replying ti my message. So eventually I sent a break up text to him and blocked him. Towards the end of my 6 weeks I unblocked him and he reached out to me immediately. I ignored him but eventually replied back. It was awkward as he was still avoiding serious topic of conversation. I got annoyed and blocked him.
When I came to London, I went to see him without contacting because I really wanted to talk and figure things out. In the moment he apologised and gave me a flimsy excuse. I accepted. We told each other we loved each other and missed each other. He showed me how he tried contacting me while he was blocked and he called me numerous times. There was a lot of outpouring of love and we ended up having sex. Not our first time but I went with the mindset I would not because I was worried he would not take me seriously. But I hadn’t seen him in so long I missed him alot and felt a lot of love for him. He telling me he loved me and missed me felt so real. Even as I left his place he told me to unblock him and add him back on instagram because I was his girl.
And then the next day he started ghosting me. No response not picking up my phone. I told him I will come to see him he can’t just ignore me I’m his girlfriend. He finally replied saying he wanted to be alone and needs some time to think. I said that’s fine but can he be abit more clear if this was a break up text. I said I will give him space and I hope he is ok. It’s been two weeks, I called him 3 times in that 2 weeks because I was worried. He hasn’t responded.
I blocked him and then unblocked him because to be honest the ghosting after such a night we spent together has messed up my head. I’m confused, it’s such a 360. I keep wondering if having sex with him was the mistake I made but I love him and we were together. I was his girlfriend so it’s not like I had sex with a random person. But it makes me question so much.
Does this make sense at all why someone would do that. I really need him to tell me why and for that I need him back in my life. But I already feel like I messed up with the calls. Is it too late?
Nicole
August 24, 2022 at 7:35 pm
I was in a six-year LDR with my boyfriend. He broke up with me in June (I was blindsided), he seems to be a fearful avoidant who was afraid of commitment (we were discussing moving in together/getting engaged). I did a period of 35 days NC, we then had a nice phone call post-NC that I kept brief and ended on a high note. I got a couple texts from him since then, but he has since ghosted. I did receive a call from him three months since our break up (since I texted him that I had exciting news) and told him I would be in his area in a couple weeks. He said that it was too soon and that there are still raw lingering feelings. What is the best course of action? Go back to NC and wait until he reaches out? Thanks.
Coach Shaunna Nicol
September 1, 2022 at 8:54 pm
Hey Nicole, so I would say that as you have had little reach outs and no investment that you need to complete a 30 day NC and work the information Chris has provided about being Ungettable. I would reach out after 30 days with a text that is from the program.
Lost
March 13, 2022 at 10:14 pm
We were together a year. He has some financial issues from his past, a house sold for less than he paid for it, I gave him advice, we made our plans of how to deal with it. His friend told him he was wrong, he came to my place and told me he had ended his lease and moving back to his parents, to live rent free, to clear debts quicker, because his friend told him to do this. Were in our 30s, I have a child prior and we were planning on moving to him. So he ended his lease, without speaking to me. I was not happy. We never scream and this was our first fight. We usually have very good communication and hes a very open person to me.
We meet up most weekends, due to distance. Ex and son were very close, he called himself my sons dad, would always say come to daddy and my son called him dad, hes 3 soon. My son never had a father, and he was a brilliant father to him.
After the ghosting I texted to see if he was ok, was told he wanted time to think, because he doesnt know what he wants after that argument. I respected this. I had a missed call, I texted back the day after, he said it was an accident. So were now up on 21 days without contact, havent seen eachother in 5 weeks. Im assuming its over. His fb has me in profile photo, and according to fb were in a relationship. Hes the first one to look at my snapchat. Did an adventure with my son, and put it up on fb and he was the first one to like it yesterday.
We were very much inlove, he always told me how different I was, and that he loves it. Everything just flowed with us. Up until argument, I was the happiest Ive ever been. I was so excited to move to be with someone I loved and loved my son. He said he put a stop to it for us, to clear his debts quicker, because he wants us to buy a house together. I was obviously upset because I didnt want to do long distance for another few years. So Im assuming Im single now, because we dont talk.
His family loved my son and called themselves my sons grandparents. My family loved my ex and called him my sons father. My friends keep telling me to contact him, and they all really like him. Considering they know how we are, they are very suprised about this, everyone thought this was the one, including me. Even at christmas, his father was telling me how happy they were that we were together, and that they felt like we got together at the right time, because all my son knows is him. My son asks for him every day. Ive packed up his belongings, replaced our ”family” picture. Ex still has belongings from both me and my son, as we would spend a good few days there at a time. How long should I do no contact, up at 21 days now, and how do I end no contact?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 21, 2022 at 10:25 pm
Hey there, if you spend some time reading and watching the videos it will help you compose the right reach out text message.
Kate
March 6, 2022 at 8:07 pm
Hi team
Completed a ncr of 45 days as boyfriend found a new girlfriend. We started messaging again and he came round so quickly when I asked for his help.
We hugged and held hands. Since then he has ignored me. Next steps please?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 8, 2022 at 4:15 pm
Hey Kate, it sounds as if you went a bit too quickly. I would suggest that you take a week or two with another NC and start reaching out gradually and slowly do not rush to meet up.
Jeanette Cook
February 10, 2022 at 10:07 pm
Dated for almost 2 yrs was fantastic. Then the one special night came and we made love. First time omg then morning came all was well. He walked me to the car then 2 months ago he ghosted me.what the heck. I need help.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 11, 2022 at 9:06 pm
Hey Jeanette, is it a long distance relationship? I think him ghosting you after you sleeping with him for the first time sounds as if he isn’t looking for anything serious at this time.
Georgia
November 25, 2021 at 1:47 am
I was with my ex-boyfriend for only a little while. Just three months. We were intimate from the beginning. We talked every day, by text and social media. Even though he ghosted me, 6 weeks ago, I haven’t stopped texting him and leaving him messages which he reads by the way. I’ve also sent him gifts in the mail which he accepted. He called me a few times but didn’t leave any messages.
Lara
October 12, 2021 at 1:33 pm
Hi. I was seeing someone exclusively for about six weeks, seeing each other regularly. We’ve also met some of each other’s friends. We had plans to get together one eve and he ghosted me. He didn’t answer my calls or texts. He texted a week later telling me about some stresses he was dealing with at work. I responded sympathetically to his situation and added how it was hurtful and confusing when he ignored me. He ghosted again.
Three weeks later he texted telling me he was out of town and would reach out when he’s back and said he was sorry for disappearing but had to take time away from everything.
I was healing and accepted that it was over up until I reached out. I’m really confused and don’t know how to respond.
Mackenzie
August 1, 2021 at 9:36 pm
Hi there!
Technically, this guy isn’t my ex but back in March I met a guy I really liked and we went on two dates and became intimate both times we saw each other, he even went as far as to tell me that he wanted to see me again but a week later he ghosted. So I just let him ghost and stopped talking to him too. But in May I drunkenly snapped him while I was out having fun with people and he sent me a snap back immediately (I’m talking 30 seconds later..) but it never went anywhere. And a few months ago I saw some playlists on his Spotify that suggested that he might be seeing someone new. I haven’t contacted him since that time I snapped him in May. I still really like him and I’ve taken the time to work on myself. I’m generally in a really good place in my life and focusing on me but a small part of me wonders what if.. I want to text him but I don’t know that anything will come of it and I don’t want to put myself through something that might hurt me. What do I do next?
Maria
July 31, 2021 at 1:09 am
We were in a 12 year off and on relationship. He leaves and ghosts me than after 2 to 3 weeks after no contact I go chasing him at his house. He tries to tell me its over and I beg, plea and cry until he comes back. We have had no contact since the 14th of July. He left because I seen his ex was texting him. She has his kids in another country. In the past I went through his phone and seen her texts are all about loving him and missing him ect…He tells me she just wants money for his kids. He always takes trips over there to see his kids and never allows me to go. I keep accusing him of being with her. I believe she is doing and saying whatever she can to make him leave me. Our fights are always about her contacting him. He uses it against me when I confront him. He accuses me of hating his kids, or that I am not letting him communicate with her to support his kids, its none of my business what the texts are about because its between them and their kids. Im always hurt and devistated. He makes me look like I have no right to question this. After 12 years of being together I feel I am worthy to know where I stand. If I am not his priority? Is she his priority and me an option? I have a suspicious intuition that he is with her when he takes these trips to see his kids. I have been turning the blind eye because I love him with all my heart. I turn the blind eye because he spoils me rotten with gifts and compation, and love. So it makes me deny that he would hurt me that way. He has been becoming distant from me, getting angry for small stuff. It is like walking on eggshells. He leaves and ghosts me, until I go chasing within 1 to 2 weeks and always try to fix things. I am tired of this pattern it hurts. I am being told to leave him alone to have no contact and he will come to me. Than i read your tactics on this site using social media as a tool. Neither one of us have any type of social media. So I am not sure where to go from here. I want to be his #1 priority, not her. I am so lost as to what to do to break this pattern without losing him to her.
Diane
July 28, 2021 at 11:40 pm
been seeing a guy on/off for 2 years (last period was 6 months) ended in February. He ghosted me, I gnatted him and I got blocked in June. (happened previous break up too). Began NC (today is day 35) working on becoming ungettable just wondering how long should I keep in NC and should I extend to 60 days
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 6, 2021 at 11:48 pm
I would suggest 45 days
Molebogeng
July 28, 2021 at 8:57 pm
Hmmm interesting I’ve started the process way before I found this article!
Here’s my story we met 2019 March. Moved to another country in August for a job. It was long distance from there. Last year March he ghosted me. He reached out in November. I blocked him. Now I’m back home I reached out to him we are currently texting. I’m not sure wether to meet up or not. I also haven’t been taking his calls I’m not ready for that yet.
Cristina
May 7, 2021 at 3:20 pm
Hey there,
Name is Kristina, I was in a relationship for a year and a half, and during the relationship my ex called it quits and said sometimes things don’t work out. So, I started the no contact rule for 30 days, and on his birthday we got back together for 4 months. Then after spending every weekend together again, he takes a trip home, and when he comes back he became distant. Told me work was busy, and he has little time to communicate with me. Then out of no where he freaks out on me and says we need to move on. Then apologies 2 days later, and we resume communication for 5 days, and the last message he sends he says, he needs time to think, when it was our weekend to hang out. I’m confused as to why he all of a sudden went cold. However, he an overthinker, and suffers from depression, and since his back surgery he never been the same since. He refuses to let me retrieve my items from his place, and stated let’s move on were both unhappy.
Haley
November 24, 2020 at 2:13 pm
Hello, thank you for the article! I will keep my long story short. Basically, my ex and I broke up in August, I immediately began to do a 21 day no contact and finished without any lapses. I then reached out and we began talking again. First texting, then phone calls, and eventually hanging out occasionally. Things were going great and felt like we were on the path to reconnecting. A couple of weeks ago, things progressed and he initiated meeting up around three times one week. We went out and did activities, spending quality time together and had not kissed or been physical since before we had broke up in August. He began saying things like, “He missed me” and “He was sticking around to prove it to me and my family”. I wanted to believe this. I was so excited that things were going so well and it really felt like we were about to get back together. The day after seeing each other, I reached out and he was kind of distant. I let it go and tried not to look too far into it. He was also distant the next couple of days. I eventually asked what was wrong, to which he replied that he wasn’t trying to be mean, but that he doesn’t always have to text me back. Also, that he wants to be a part of each other’s lives, but does not want any commitment right now. He said that he is fine with talking and hanging out here and there, but doesn’t want to get my hopes up that we’ll get back together. I was upset because it contradicted everything that he had said just a couple days before. I gave him space, though, and reached out almost a week later. He was friendly and we talked briefly, but just a couple of messages back and forth. Same with the next day. Since then, he just ignores my messages when I reach out. I haven’t bombarded him with messages every day, maybe once or twice a week and my messages are never emotional or about the relationship, just friendly and trying to start a conversation. Sorry for the long story, but what can I do? Things went from almost getting back together to what feels like ghosting.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 23, 2020 at 5:53 pm
Hi Haley sounds as if your get got a little scared and backed off, it happens from time to time, all you need to do is back off and reach out again in a few days
Tanushka
October 14, 2020 at 3:09 am
Hi there, loved the article – thank you for the fun and informative perspective! I have purchased some of Chris’s stuff and have frequented his materials – great stuff, especially about the self betterment. 🙂
I had a question about if I am the one that ghosted someone who had started the process of benching me for a whole month at our 4 month mark… he did after trying to reach out several times thru text, message and a call over the past 2 weeks but haven’t responded as I was very upset by his consistent behaviour which I calmly had confronted him for the truth that I would be okay with… so, with no plan one day just stopped responding to his texts and was tired of his gaslighting. I needed time to regroup my feelings and do my trinity work… if he doesnt reach out again, how do I reach out to him with the best version of me?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 19, 2020 at 11:31 pm
Hi Tanushka, so you can start reaching out with the methods that Chris suggests in his articles, but make sure that you are the one who is ending the conversations not this guy. Make sure that you do not give more of your time than he is giving you. This can take some work, so make sure that you are using this time to read articles to help you understand the program
Joanne
September 16, 2020 at 10:34 am
So my ex and I broke up after being together for a year in June, I had become quite needy and overemotional following some trauma last year and never quite got over it. He said he couldn’t handle being in a relationship and having the responsibility of looking after me especially as he was my first everything and he thought it would help me if I dated other guys to get over my insecurities. Fast forward to now, I have come out of my funk, back to my independant self, feel really good and can manage my emotions. Following the break up, I did no contact for 2 weeks (i know not enough) and he messaged saying he was depressed without me and not over “us” but still wasnt ready for a relationship again so we started talking again as friends, hanging out here and there, still were being physical. All of a sudden he’s ghosted and hasnt spoken to me for over a week. Last time we met, we had a talk and he said he’s over “us” as a couple. I still have feelings for him and feel like the old issues are gone but didn’t tell him that. What do I do? Would no contact rule work now? I feel like he will pop up again soon when he misses me again. But he seems to think that I will always come running when he wants me around without any commitment. I do want to try again but I don’t know how to do this. Help!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 4, 2020 at 9:31 pm
Hi Joanne, the most important thing is that you deal with your trauma and how to be more independent so that your ex sees that you are able to stand on your own two feet and not reply on them so much, you need to focus on yourself during your NO Contact and make sure that you read and follow the information about the Holy Trinity
Kitty
May 15, 2020 at 3:44 pm
Started seeing a guy in January, things have been going great but we are long distance. It’s always been equal who messages who and he’s messages have always been full of love and compliments/good chat and how he feels we have a good connection and how I’m always on he’s mind/wants to see me.
Then 4 weeks ago he said he needed space which I gave to him after freaking out and him assuring me he wasn’t going anywhere or looking for anyone else but he was struggling with he’s anxiety and stress from a previous emotionally abusive ex who owes him money.
He came back after nearly two weeks Checking in every so often but after I’d messaged him hoping he was ok etc at the end of the two weeks things went back to normal (haven’t met up with him again as long distance and current lock down situation) with him telling me he had missed me, arranging for us to meet up etc again. But now since last week he’s gone distant again saying that he’s stressed with the ex situation but is ok. We chat for a bit and then he doesn’t reply to my message two days later to which he replies that he’s ok but getting he’s shit together.
I replied the next day to which he didn’t read until the next evening and didn’t reply and has since ignored my messages for a whole week.
I’ve messaged last night just to say that i assumed it was over and that he could of at least put me straight and wished him well but I’m gutted. He hasn’t read it and now I just feel like he’s gone for good. I really don’t want to lose what’s was amazing but I also just think he doesn’t really care now. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 6, 2020 at 9:03 pm
Hi Kitty, so I would suggest that you go into your No Contact where you focus on your Holy Trinity and how you want to become the best version of yourself. Then prepare your first reach out text that Chris walks you through in his articles on how to text your ex.
Alanna
May 8, 2020 at 12:37 pm
My ex broke up with me and accused me of cheating. When I proved that I wasn’t, he then started piling other excuses on why we need to break up. I tried contacting him every day for two months after that m, explaining how much I love him and why we shouldn’t give up and he wouldn’t respond. Here and there he would say he loves me and he can’t see himself with anyone else but me but right now he can’t be with me because he doesn’t think I’ve changed. It’s now been three months since we broke up and at this point, I deleted my Instagram to block me out from seeing him move on… which he hasn’t. He won’t add any new girls or like any of their pictures. His distant behavior shows there’s someone else but his social media doesn’t. For the three months that we’ve been apart.. he hasn’t called or texted once.. it was only me reaching out. It is quarantine so obviously the break up must be easy for him. But we hang out in the same spots so I’m bound to run into him again. What do you think?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 19, 2020 at 11:49 am
Hi Alanna, I would say that your ex looked for a valid reason to end the relationship rather than being honest with you. This being said follow the program starting with your NC and I would suggest doing a 45 day to give you enough time to work on becomming Ungettable and then reach out with the texts that Chris suggests in his articles
Aleksa
March 12, 2020 at 10:52 am
Hello, i broke up with my ex on January because of his sudden change of behaviour. He went from respecting me and appreciating me to the complete opposite, that was happening in the last month of our relationship. However after the break up he was really hot and cold I’ve thought he could have some kind of rebound. On the one hand we were calling and he was saying he still loves me and all and on the other he wasn’t opening my text even though he was online. After the break up the situation was me firstly ignoring him then reaching out to see he would ignore me so then i ignored when he reached out and it goes in circles. At some point i started calling repeatedly saying “you wanted me to try for you so that’s what I’m doing” and i got blocked. Well after that he again said he loved me, confusing af and some days later he ghosted me, its been 13 days. I do want him to realise he made a bad decision but is it worth it, what should i do??
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 12, 2020 at 1:53 pm
Hi Aleksa so you need to stick to your no contact for your ex to realise that you are serious about walking away. You clearly know your worth more than what he was giving you so stick with that in mind. Your ex may not realise what he has done to cause this for sometime if ever. People do not like to be the bad guy in their stories, he will victimise himself and it will take some self reflecting on his part to see his chance in attitude caused the break down of the relationship. If you keep working the Ungettable information he will realise how great you are and thats when you start hearing form him again
Tyler
January 10, 2020 at 1:53 am
My ex girlfriend and I meetup a few weeks ago and it went well. Last friday we made plans to meet but they feel through. I reached out with a text saying that this would be my last attempt to meetup and I got no reply.
I kinda regret saying that only because I feel like I’ve closed the door for myself to reach out again. After 45 days of NC, what should I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 14, 2020 at 9:08 pm
Hi Tyler, after your 45 Day NC you can reach out to your ex with a text that Chris suggests to send
Amy
December 28, 2019 at 9:44 pm
He ghosted me twice in a month. I don’t necessarily know if I want him back, but I’d like to keep the option open. We said we would meet for coffe about a week ago and he stopped answering my calls and texts. I sent him an angry text saying he was a coward, have I completely Effed everything up? or should I just keep going with no contact?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
December 29, 2019 at 11:32 pm
Keep going with no contact, clearly even though he agreed to meeting he ghosted you shows he may not actually be ready to see you