My Ex Boyfriend Ghosted Me - How Do I Get Him Back?

321 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You”

Sara

December 4, 2019 at 10:17 am

Hi again (reply to EBR team member’s reply to me).
So I reached out again after a few days time via text, he did not reply this time either. It has now been one and a half week since we went out, and have not heard from him. Do you think he’s confused or what happened? What should I do from here?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 6, 2019 at 7:18 pm

Hi Sara, what sort of message did you send? If he does not reply to you again then you would need to go into another no contact

Sara

December 1, 2019 at 1:03 pm

Hi. A week ago I met up with my ex-boyfriend again for the first time. We had a really great time together. However, I have not heard from him since and he has not replied to the text I sent him (where I just said it was nice seeing him again). What happened? Can he still come back again?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 11:03 pm

Hey Sara, so sometimes when an ex meets up with you they get confused in their feelings emotions etc. So he may have had a good time but then thought about the break up and why you ended so retreated a little, in a few days reach out with a text asking for advice or telling him something exciting to get him talking again

Nicole

September 9, 2019 at 5:50 am

My Bf has always talked very highly of me, telling me how perfect I am and how I’m everything he’s ever wanted. He has also cried at the mention Of us having a baby. Long story short he texted me one day saying what he had going on for the day, he said he’d talk to me later when he was done and that he loved me.I replied with “have a good day, I love you too”. It’s now had been two weeks with no reply I sent two text which went unanswered. He will go on Instagram and Facebook and LOVE my posts/pics but won’t reach out which is confusing to me. I just found out today he blocked me off Facebook. I had a friend check into it and he is now in a relationship with someone else. I’m at a loss.
Sara

August 12, 2019 at 1:32 am

Not sure if I have been ghosted or not. Had a boyfriend for about 1 1/2 years. Right before my birthday his mother suffered a stroke. She’s home now. Stayed in contact for over a month after she had the stroke. When he mentioned he was taking her home to get home care he then told me she needed to be number one priority which I completely understand. The calls became less and about a week after she was home I tried calling him before work. First call didn’t go through. Tried a second and left a message. Noticed after that when I left a text he blocked me. After about 3 days he unblocked me again but still hasn’t called me or responded back to my texts. Have I been ghosted?
Caity

July 6, 2019 at 10:22 am

Hi there!
My ex ghosted me a month ago. It’s pretty obvious we’re over if it’s been a month, but I did reach out more than once in the first week, no reply. So I’m currently doing no contact and it’s been 22 days now of no contact. He hasn’t reached out once. Do you think he will reach out? Also the last time I saw him we had a row. It wasn’t a bad one imo. Just a silly one because I felt like he didn’t care and wasn’t being supportive. Why did he ghost me instead of just saying he wanted to break up?

Chris Seiter

July 6, 2019 at 10:58 pm

Hi Caity….I think you stay strong with the NC and remember part of the NC process is your healing/recovery and continued personal growth. Just follow my Program teachings – covered in my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” – as they will help you down this path. As far as why guys do certain things – just know they do and say foolish things at time for lots of reasons which are seldom your fault.

AJ

June 21, 2019 at 10:10 pm

Hi,

So I was with my girlfriend for quite a few years, was coming up close to 4 years. However for the last 6 months, I’d gone from being the love of her life almost. To something she had to reluctantly deal with, the ghosting began, no longer saw me, or wanted to see me. Except on her own terms, which usually meant her family events. But whenever I needed her, she was nowhere to be seen. So I decided in the end to play her at her own game almost, I started to stop bothering messaging. Since we had been together for a lengthy time, I didn’t want to just call it quits and she sure as hell wasn’t going to entertain a full blown conversation on the subject. So we never spoke for almost a month, I decided to try once more. And i was immediately responded that with all out aggression and anger, like a how dare you even contact me. Which made me feel worse than I already was feeling before, it was horrible. I never knew what to do, if any thing was the right thing to do or not. I just felt hopeless, clueless, and with no explanation whatsoever. Anyway fast forward a little longer, she has basically messaged saying since we haven’t spoken in like a month. We should maybe return each others belongings, so no attempt of talking it through even. I found it incredibly painful, sadly my mental state just deal with it all. My anxiety almost killed me, it crippled me even just knowing I’d received messages from her or even her family members. But either way, with a little help the exchange was made. I still haven’t spoken to her, she has however now started to message my mother a bit more. And she has even messaged me a couple of times, I’ve not looked at the messages mainly because I feel happier ignoring them (I think).

The main reason I’m writing, is a) for my own head space and b) what would you do if they were messaging for you back.

I do still stupidly love her, feelings dont go away just like that. But my trust and respect for her have been massively damaged. Anyway I would appreciate someone elses opinion, I’m in limbo big time and feel like maybe some other peoples experiences and feelings may help me.

Apologies for the mammoth story by the way!!
Katie

May 23, 2019 at 5:28 am

Hi, just wondering if I could get some advice.
Been seeing a guy for 3 months – been going really well, informally met the parents, stayed over at his regular basis, saw each other once a week. He would text me every day, no regular routine but I would always hear from him. Last weekend, he got ill and I text to see if he was ok and he replied, however he never replied to my response and that was 4 days ago.
Now I don’t know if I’m being ghosted or not, not sure if I should reach out to check in as he might just be unwell or busy catching up with the work he missed. Or do I keep wanting it out?
Mary Smith

January 3, 2019 at 9:48 am

Hi I don’t know if I have been ghosted or not. Just before Christmas my fiancé and I were talking about having a baby and moving back in together. For Christmas he had to go back to his home country to look after a relative. He has sent text messages but hasn’t rang like he said he woul. Last Saturday was his birthday. I sent a text saying happy birthday and he replied thank you very much. I then texted are you back in London? I haven’t heard from him since then. What does that sound like to you?

Chris Seiter

January 3, 2019 at 11:18 pm

Hi Mary!

Not sure what he is not communicating now. Wait a few more days, then try another message. Perhaps there is an innocent explanation as to why his communications halted.

Arthur

November 6, 2018 at 4:12 pm

Firstly, I’d like to say thanks for the content. There were a lot of truths in here that I identified with and it has helped with getting my head in a better place. My situation isn’t a real heart wrenching one but I’m sure others have been through something similar so I thought I might share my story, if not for anyone else’s benefit its a helpful exercise for me.

I met a young lady through a family friend at a house party. We had been on the periphery of each others social circles but never really talked before. We exchanged some nervous eye contact throughout the night and eventually came together when the party started to thin out and ended up just dancing for hours. I had thought about making a move but thought it may be inappropriate seeing as she was close to a friend of mine and about 5 years younger than myself. To my surprise, the next day my close friend asked me if he could give my number to the girl I danced all night with, I was a little skeptical at first, took the day to think about it then decided what the heck, I haven’t been on a date in a few months, this would be good for me. We had a first date, we had a first kiss, we expressed our interest in one another. We had a second date, ended up having a bit too much to drink, she took me home and as much as I tried to slow her advances (honestly I did try, as I was scared of moving too fast. I wanted to get to know her), but her persistence paid off and I spent a lovely night and morning with her before we parted ways again. She asked me that same morning if I was going to be like all the other guys and just disappear, I found this reassuring that she genuinely liked me and that we had established an emotional connection, and I reassured her that I wasn’t going anywhere. Span ahead another week, we keep texting regularly and happily, then she confided in me towards the end of the week that she had caused herself a great deal of anxiety by accepting a social invitation to attend a party that her most recent ex was also attending. I asked her why it caused her so much anxiety and she confided in me that she was the one that was dumped in that relationship and that he wasn’t the greatest boyfriend (self absorbed and not very caring). I tried to help her prepare mentally by suggesting they have a talk about where they both are at as she sounded unsure about the whole thing (I think he knows we are just friends, I think he is dating someone else right now – quotes). We went for a walk and dinner the following day and she already seemed to start pulling away at this point, she shied away from my advances just to try and hold her hand, that sort of thing. The weekend goes by and the texts become less and less frequent. I sense a stronger pull back and I tried to back off with the texting. Wednesday rolls around and we hadn’t chatted much, maybe a few times a day, so I decided I would try to do something cute and nice for her. I knew she had a test that Wednesday so I wrote a note just saying hey you are a good person and you are going to do great! I get almost no response to the gesture, all she did was ask if it was me, I tried to be playful by acting dumb but referencing the note to let her know it was me and I got nothing again. That evening she complained about how stressful her day was so I asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She said no. I told her if she ever wants to call me to chat she can, she just replied she doesn’t like to talk on the phone. I left it there and the next morning I wake up to a text sent late at night saying she thinks I’m a great guy and that she has enjoyed the time we spent together, but that she is not sure if this could work right now because she has to do some soul searching in her life to find out what she wants. I took this very hard as I thought things were going well and I was really in to her. I replied the next day with a generic ok take some time to think about things and let me know when you are ready to chat about it. Probably not the best response but I was in hurt mode and reached out perhaps when I shouldn’t have but I still wanted her to see that I care about her somehow. Its been about a week of NC now, I can see that she has been watching my snapchat stories (I have NOT checked hers), and I’m just wondering now what my steps should be for the next little while. We are both attending a wedding anniversary in about 3 weeks time, and I’m assuming I will not see or contact her until then.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Chris Seiter

November 6, 2018 at 10:37 pm

Hi Arthur!

Thank your for your lengthy comment and also for your kind words. Yes, getting our head in the right place so we don’t get in our own way is very important. So there is a lot going on in your story and its impossible for me to comment on everything here. Frankly, the most practical thing you should consider doing is picking up my core eBook, “Ex Girlfriend Recovery Pro”. The core ebook sold on this site is for both guys and gals. I also have a site called exgirlfriendrecovery.com that may be of interest to you. But by picking up my 485 page eBook, you will be much further along on how to manage thru this post breakup period.

Leanne

August 5, 2018 at 9:00 am

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago (dating for 2 months). Said he wasn’t happy (lies) he kept in touch with me wanting to be friends while he was meeting other girls. recently we got close and started hanging out more often and he opens up to me as usual. He started talking future again and how he missed me and never wants me to leave him etc. seen him Friday and bang he disappeared, blocked my number but still checks my snap stories
Was I ghosted?

April 24, 2018 at 5:35 am

I’m not sure if I was ghosted or not , so I met a guy about 6 months ago , he was head over heels for me but at the time I didn’t want a relationship and was kind of annoyed with how pushy he was about being toghter so I blew him off but then realized I wanted to be wth him , he switched up and said he didn’t want to anymore but we continued to talk and somtimes hang out but communication got less and less so last week about 6 days ago he cane into my work and we talked everything was good and the next day I text a simple hey what are you doing , and got no response but it was late at night so I assumed nothing of it but then the next morning he was watching my Snapchat stories

Chris Seiter

April 24, 2018 at 3:20 pm

Hi there…maybe he got his feelings hurt and is being a little passive aggressive in his actions. Maybe he is unsure what he wants and is looking for you to chase him a bit to show you do indeed value him. Pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it will prepare you well for how to optimize your chances if you want this relationship back (go to website Menu/Products link). You really want to have all the best tactics at your disposal. I think the chances are better than average here.

Confused

March 7, 2018 at 10:58 pm

Oops! Sorry I wasn’t clear. I meant do you think I have a chance if I reach out in the future? Even though he enddd things with me because he meant someone new? And if so how long would you suggest I wait? Or is it a lost cause and I should just move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2018 at 9:01 am

Yup, it’s better if you move on.

confused

March 4, 2018 at 4:58 am

I realized I made a type on in my new post! I meant the convo ended with me asking if I could text him in the future, would it go ignored. He said probably not, but we can’t hang out anymore for respect to her :/

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 7, 2018 at 12:39 pm

You just have to keep being active in your life. Moving on means doing what you should be doing no matter what you feel..

confused

March 3, 2018 at 9:13 pm

So I did it. I got a response from him…I texted: Heads up for the future: If you are spending time with a girl on a regular basis and sleeping with her the whole time, doing the whole ghosting thing is a complete dick move. He wrote back instantly that I am right and he is so sorry. He just did not know how to tell me that he met someone else. I then asked if we could talk and he called me. We had a discussion. I was not very proud of what I said though :/ I asked him if the girl is his gf and he said not yet but it might happen in the future. I said I was not good enough to turn into his gf. He said no the timing was off. When he met me he was depressed and in a weird head space, and was still hung up on his ex. I said ok so you used me the whole time. He said I did not know you were interested. I thought you just wanted to have fun like me and we did have fun. I said I was interested in him and the reason I did not make a move is because I knew he was going to move 2 hours away soon and I did not know if he wanted to commit to anyone because of it. I asked does the other girl know he is moving? He said yes. You guys going to still be together when you move? He said he did not know. He brought up how we would sometimes go weeks without talking I did not know you wanted more. I said ya and me not talking to you for 2-3 weeks was me waiting for you to text me first. You to come to me, and you didn’t so I would cave and text you. I said I just don’t understand how you can just find someone new when I was there the whole time. It’s like I was not good enough. He said it was just timing. At the time we met he wasn’t looking for anything serious. I said but you magically decided you were recently and got her, when I was there the whole time in front of you. He said I don’t know what to tell you she swept him off his feet when he met her through friends and at the time we weren’t speaking (the time I went into 21 days after our last date for him to chase me). I was like ya whos fault is it we weren’t talking? I was waiting for you to talk to me first instead of me texting you every few days. I wanted to see if you were interested. Again he kept bringing up its how it has nothing to do with me not being good enough, it’s about timing. About how sorry he was for not communicating with me. That he did not know how to tell me and it was tearing him inside, and we didn’t speak for a bit and he had all these emotions and he did not know how to deal with it. He wished me happiness and hopes I find the right guy that gives me everything I want. I asked him if I texted him in the future would he ignore me. He said I guess but out of respect to her he can’t hang out with me.

All that being said. I don’t really know how to feel….Knowing that he’s ok being with someone serious here when he is moving makes me hurt that that person couldn’t be me. That’s what was holding me back. At the same time we were together just over a year, if he was really interested he would have made a move. Doing NC and him not coming to me proves he clearly wasn’t :/

What would my next step be if I’m not really ready to move just yet…
Brigit

March 1, 2018 at 9:59 pm

My ex and I met on Tinder.
It was actually surprising that we started to date and I ended up caring so much since I wasn’t into him as much he was into me (at first).
We dated for 2 months, we were seeing eachother every day, eating together, sleeping together, taking endlessly about stuff. We were very similar in many ways and he noticed it too (so it’s not a one-sided view).
He told me he loved me after 1 month of dating and that he is afraid of getting “addicted to me”.
After 1 month and a half of dating, he left for a few weeks to another city with a big work project (which he told me it was very important to him and had a large impact on his career).
Our communication slowly eroded in these weeks: at first we were talking daily, but after a while he began reaching out to me once every 2-3 days, or even longer.
I of course called him out on it, though I made it clear I understood the importance of his project to him, mentioning that I needed just a daily text to know he is okay during this time.
During my birthday we had a fight on the phone (actually he was very calm and I erupted out of frustration) about the fact that I was feeling ignored.
I did tell him that I would find someone else if he’d continue doing that to me (I regret saying this).
The following day he sent me a long message in which he asked for a break to sort things out in his mind
(he blamed himself for his behaviour, saying that he didn’t know why he acted like he did and that he sees himself as bein selfish)
and that we would see eachother after New Year’s (this was in December). I did not reply to his message at that time.
I reached out on 1st of January to wish him “Happy new year”. He responded cordially, but seemed happy overall.
I told him I wasn’t doing as good as he was (obvious hint). His reply was only a sad 🙁 emoji. Then I told him I would never reach out to him ever again (emotions ran high).
He didn’t reply.

I did NC for 2 weeks, yet during this time I have been consumed by guilt over my last statement so I reached out again to apologize via IM.
He responded after a few hours that he felt that he should apologize and that he would call me to meet up the following week.
Following week passed and he didn’t call.
I again called him under the pretext of asking “how’s it going?” and he seemed surprised and rather distant.
He told me he didn’t forget he had to call me and that he’d call the following week.I told him he doesn’t have to meet up if he doesn’t want to. He assured me he did want to meet and that he’ll call.
It’s been approximetly 35 days (days of NC) since then and he hasn’t call or tried to reach out in any shape or form. I thought we had something special and he did give me the impression that he really liked me.

What should I do? I get the feeling that he won’t be reaching out till the end of 45 days of NC.
I don’t want to nag him and I tried my best no to nag him in the past.

I’m left hurt and I feel a bit guilty over things I said and I’m constantly blaming myself.
He is also very often active on facebook. So he should have time to write to me.

What do you you guys think?

Thank you for this website, it have read and reread a lot of your articles.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2018 at 2:18 pm

Hi Brigit ur,

He’s ghosting you and yet you’re the one feeling guilty? It’s better to move on from him..

Confused

February 28, 2018 at 8:22 pm

I honestly don’t even want to try to get him back. It’s not worth letting someone once your life who thinks it’s totally ok to just disappear one day with no explaination when you’ve done absolutely nothing and have been talking several times a week and seeing each other several times a month for over a year…Someone who considers women or friends so disposable that they do that are not the type of person I want in my life. I just really didn’t expect it from him. That being said do I really just let it be? Delete and move on or should I tell him a piece of my mind? Tell him what he did is really immature (we are both 30! We aren’t juvenile!) and disrespectful, and I did not expect this behaviour from him. That treating women and friends like they are disposable like this is beyond rude, and we should be able to be adults about it and talk about what is going on instead of just cutting someone out like this….I know maybe it makes me look clingy or crazy and I know he definitely won’t reply, but saying it makes me feel like I’m not putting up with his actions and I’m not a fool…I don’t know. What would you advice? Really just keep my mouth shut and delete or call him out?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2018 at 11:53 am

For me say what you want to say to him in the most dignified way you can and then move on

Confused

February 27, 2018 at 4:18 pm

We never discussed what we were but seeing how he never committed I gues fwb would be what we really were :/

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2018 at 3:29 pm

I think that’s the reason why he ghosted you.. For you, it was a serious relationship but to him, I’m not sure..check the link below for your text and usually ghoster do come back after some time has passed but they will probably ghost you again..
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Confused

February 25, 2018 at 6:20 am

So I’ve been with this guy for just over a year that I meant on Tinder. It seemed he wanted to be serious with me from the beginning by the way he treated, me but I kind of pushed back because I wasn’t ready to jump into anything with someone I barely knew…but as I got to know him I was thinking ya i think I can be serious with him…but he kept talking about how he was going to get a job after he graduated (in less than year) that will make him move 2hrs away. So I kind of knew it would not work out unless he worked for it so I never brought up what we were…but we texted several times a week and saw each other almost every week. Everything was well. This was for over a year. Then last month I had a good time with him at his place…texted a few days later…and not long after that. All was normal. Then I thought to myself he needs to work for me if he really wants me…so I did a NC for 21 days. He never tried to contact me though…I did after 21 days an inside joke. No answer…texted a few days after. No reply. Tried to call 3 days later. No answer. He ghosted me!

I have no idea why. He hasn’t told me he got the job yet, and it it would be months from now. Maybe he found another girl but he would just be wasting her time too when he moves. We weren’t serious so it’s pretty obvious I’d be understanding if he found someone else why he wouldn’t want to hand anymore…

It’s just very shocking because he was so kind, mature, and honest. Why not be honest with me? It’s so unlike him that I honestly feel like maybe something bad happened to him. But I have no way of knowing since he doesn’t have social media and we have no mutual friends…

I don’t know what to do….I know it suggests 45 days NC but what do I even text when the time comes? It’s just so awkward! Acting like nothing happened and sending a friendly text out of the blue when what he did was sooooo disrespectful.

Anyways I have 3 things to ask: 1) why do you think he ghosted me? 2) what would I even write out of the blue later it’s so awkward 3) how often would you say ghosters come crawling back themselves?

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 12:11 pm

were you friends with benefits?

Zara

February 18, 2018 at 10:30 am

This is the second time my ex and I have broken up, we were together for nearly 9 years. The first time we broke up was for around 1.5 years ago, and we got back together after a year apart. I’ve done no contact etc, the last time I heard from him was Xmas day. I replied with a short message.

This is a tricky situation, as he’s literally just ghosted me, there was never an official break up, we had an argument back in October and that’s the last time I saw him. I gave him space and time to calm down after the argument and he was still angry, so I gave him more time. He never said he wanted to break up, but as time has passed on, I feel like we’ve broken up. He’s recently blocked me from all social media and WhatsApp.

I don’t know what to do. After 9 years, I don’t think it’s right to just be abandoned like this. I’m currently getting therapy because of how he’s made me feel with this uncertainty. I don’t understand. What could I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 12:57 pm

It’s a small chance. Either you move on or try nc one last time.

Jocey

February 8, 2018 at 7:55 pm

Why delete my comment?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 12:46 pm

Hi Jocey,

It wasn’t deleted. It’s just here pending for approval. You should be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media. Check this one:
The Best Way To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Interested In You Again

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321 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You”