My Ex Boyfriend Ghosted Me - How Do I Get Him Back?

321 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You”

Jocey

February 8, 2018 at 7:47 pm

He also blocked my number and blocked me from social media…Im devastated I feel like I lost the love of my life.
Jocey

February 8, 2018 at 7:40 pm

Hi. Not sure if you still reply to these but Ill give it a try. About 2 years ago I met this guy and it didnt take long for me to realize he was my soul mate. He let me know he had a daughter since day one, it didnt bother me at first. We started going out, having fun and opening up to each other. We ended up falling deeply in love. Last year we got into a fight and he told me he needed his space and I did my investigation and later found out he went on vacation with his childs mother… I pretty much talked to her and she told me that she didnt know about me and that shes done with him. I was devastated but I let it go without saying a word to him. He came around again about 3 weeks later telling me that he was only trying to keep it cordial for their childs sake and that he was deeply sorry and that he wanted to start a life with me…he asked for a chance and told mehe will do anything to prove to me that hes all in. that was 4 months ago. I gave it a chance and he was nothing but great to me..we got closer than ever and he even introduced me to his daughter and his family. He exceeded my expectations. But somehow I could never let it go that he had cheated so small things would trigger me to remember the past. About 2 weeks ago we were in one of those situations and we got into a heated argument because of me so we both left home and he asked me if I wanted to break up with him and I said yes but immediately regret it and told him that certain things just bother me. He never replied to my text. I tried calling him all day about 50 times and he never replied…I went crazy so I contacted his kids mom and told her that he was with me and she started sending me old pictures of them together and told her not to feel special and sent her some too. It was the most immature thing ive ever done in my life. I tried contacting him a couple days later and he has not returned my calls or texts…I went to his house to look for him and he told his niece to say he wasnt home, which i know he was. Ive been crying every day for the last two weeks because I feel like I made a mistake and also because I feel as If he just stopped caring about me and about us even tho the day before we stopped talking he told me he was in this for the long run and that he loved with with all his heart. I dont want ot conatc him anymore and push him further away but my head is going crazy overthinking, what if he went back to her to work things out? why isnt he replying to me at least to tell me to leave it alone? I literally havent heard a word from his since our argument and that was 2 weeks ago. What should i do?
Help

February 6, 2018 at 8:43 am

Ok so my situation is a little bit different, I met this guy about two months after me and my ex boyfriend of two years broke up . I can admit I was still wasn’t over the break up and had BAD trust issues due to the fact I found out my ex was cheating
I wasn’t looking for a relationship , but this this kept pushing me to be in one and I kept denying it
So fast forward to about 5 months of seeing this guy I guess you can call us FWB because we weren’t toghter but we slept toghter and would go on dates and I was COMPLETELY fine with it but he wasn’t we would argue sometimes because he kept pushing me to be in a relationship with him

So about a month ago we went out I was a friend and he came to met us and when the night was over I went to take my friend home and he went to take his friend to this girls house who had multiple friends with her , and then all of a sudden he wasn’t answrring the phone for the rest of the night so I know he stayed over there , which i know it isn’t my place to be upset because I’m the one who wanted us to have no strings attached but I think I was just upset because he lied , like why lie if we’re nothing to each other … so I ghosted him (I think)
I said nothing to him just blocked him on all social media and blocked his number . That was a month ago , he didn’t go out his way to call me blocked or find some weird way to reach out to me
but now I miss him kind of , and was thinking of reaching out to him but I’m scared to regected
Did I technically ghost him ? Or no because we weren’t toghter?
How would I go about reaching out ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2018 at 12:06 pm

Yeah, you did but you’re not together so reaching out so just be casual.. Just unblock him and initiate a conversation. Don’t beg nor ask to be friends. You can ask how he is and that you just wanted to apologize on how things ended a month ago. Don’t make it dramatic.

Maggs

January 3, 2018 at 2:40 am

My boyfriend and I had a mutual break up. Actually, nothing was stated but I packed up and left after a huge fight. I went no contact for 3 weeks. I called him to ask for something back and he sent a bag of my things including gifts I had given him. I texted him to let him know that I was hurt by this. He denied sending gifts back and invited me over. I declined and said I needed space. I have been calling him to discuss what happened and it’s been a week now that he has ignored my calls and texts. I don’t understand why he invited me over after 3 weeks of no contact and now he’s ignoring me again. I feel like he’s waiting for me to go crazy enough to beg for him back. He’s a very prideful man and he’s never been the first to reach out or apologize.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:26 pm

Hi Maggs,

You should move on.. check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Tina

December 30, 2017 at 5:44 am

No I didn’t
I guess I already know the answer
A.) He will probably not respond
B.) Say he was busy with work

I just mirror how much he gives me he basically just faded out again and I’m done with his bullshit I’m not letting some guy ruin my new year’s or body I earned so hard for. I been binge eating to try to fill the void of him

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 10:16 pm

if you mean you’re moving on, that’s good.

Tina

December 28, 2017 at 4:59 am

Thank u for ur honest answer. I know this is going to sound dumb but he msged me the day after Xmas not not to apologize or explain his absence but continue to talk as if Xmas and him going MIA never happened. I feel the distant and my head saids to just head it but I am heart broken and I miss him and miss what we had when we were together. We got along so well how do I get over this and should I continue msging him? I myself, never been good at communicating my feelings
🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 7:04 pm

did you ask him why he didn’t message you?

Tina

December 25, 2017 at 6:01 am

Hi there, so I was dating this guy for about two weeks and he basically flaked out on me three days before Xmas it’s Xmas eve as I’m writing this msg to u and he still hasn’t responded to my msg back in dec 22nd, he’s obviously online and his phone is glued to him. Is it safe to assume he is ghosting me ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2017 at 5:49 pm

Hi Tina,

Yes, he is..

Simran

December 13, 2017 at 5:14 pm

My long distance boyfriend of 1½ years suddenly ghosted me. Its been a week n he isnt receiving my calls or mails. N he has blocked me from all social websites.
I had tried a no contact of 3 months before due to some big reasons n he came back after me like a pet puppy. N things were going smooth he loved me more than before (like i could feel) n now after a month he blocked me.

For how many days/months shall i try the no contact ??

I love him n i really want him back

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 1:17 pm

How many times have you done nc? Honestly, it looks like you need to move on

Cami owens

December 5, 2017 at 8:55 am

Hey I just wanted to say thank you for writing this article although its not quite a reflection of my situation it is close enough and gave me some closure. My boyfriend and I of 1 year and a half broke up in early October and that same night he wanted to be friends and stay in contact that lasted for about two weeks and then I never heard from him again. Im still really confused as to why since he was the one who wanted to stay In contact but tbh he wasn’t that great of a boyfriend to begin with.
Sophie Ross

November 22, 2017 at 2:30 pm

Hi,

so I might be completely over reacting here but I met this guy online. We started following me on Instagram and we only spoke 1-2 times, one of those times I told him I was going to his town in a few weeks. I never thought I would see him as we live 2.5 hours away from each other but the day before I was leaving for his town he wrote to me saying he wanted to take me for dinner when Im there. We did end up going for a drink and I even went home with him (although nothing more then kissing happened). I left early the morning after to join my friends again. He kept saying the whole night how I would have to come down and see him again and how he had to come up to me. I did not take any of this seriously and tried not to get my hopes up.

Two days went past and eventually he wrote to me (replied to a picture on my instagram). After that we spoke every day for three weeks, not much but a few messages. Messages were very lighthearted and easy going, nothing serious. Eventually he asked me out again, and the next thing I know we were going on a weekend away abroad.

Fast forward to the weekend – it was good I think. I arrived at his on the Friday (where I also met two of is friends who lives with him). On Saturday we flew to Spain, he was cute, would hug me, kiss my head etc etc. Conversation was a bit slow at times and I will admit I wasnt always great at initiating. We had a great weekend though. He spoke a lot about himself and his family, his friends etc etc. He also said several times how we have to go back and spend a few more days next time. His birthday is coming up in Jan and he said he was planning on going somewhere and would let me know where he was going (I did not ask for that or showed any interest). The last night while having dinner he asked me the classic “so how do you think that the second date is going so far” where upon I said “you tell me” and he said he thought it went really well. I said that I agreed. He then asked when I had time next to see him even if it was just at one of our home towns. So we kinda decided on a third date time there and then.

Whilst having dinner he got food poisioning and ended up being ill the whole night. He did say that he felt really bad because “you look so pretty tonight and I couldnt even take you out properly”. Anyhow, I said not to be silly and that hopefully he will get better soon.

On Monday we flew home (he was still not feeling great), he said he wanted to the marathon in the town we were in and I said yes you should. He said yeah and you should come we could make a weekend out of it. W then started speaking about New York and how hes still never been. I said he have to go and then he said he had looked at tickets and that they were actually pretty cheap and that we should go … like it was a lot of this sort of talk from his side.

He also said that one of his best friend relationship they also had their second date abroad and theyre still together. Just like another one of his friends, they begun meeting up in different cities and have now been in a relationship for years. Before I went of the tube to change to my train home (he continued to his stop), we said we would see each other again that weekend we had decided and that I would come down again and how he would take me to all these different places.

When I was on the train I got a message asking if I got on the train ok. I replied yes and thanks again for a great weekend. His response “My pleasure, best second date” and I replied “yeah, dont think Barcelona could ever fail you. And I guess you were ok too 😉 ” (we are both very sarcastic)

I have not heard anything since then. I got ill yesterday too and posted a picutre yesterday morning of Barcelona saying “can I please exchange food poisining and cold for this already” on instagram. So he knows Im ill too.

I know hes been on instagram because I can see hes liked a few pictures. Hes also been online on whatsapp (not often but twice a day). Its now been two days, should I send something? Or just leave it? Have I been ghosted or am I over reacting. The last thing I want to do is to be clingy.

He was very sweet to me as well, he did take all initiatives to hug and kiss (again I want him to chase me), we never held hands in public but at every traffic light he would put his arm around me and kiss my head, when he thought I was sleeping I caught him kissing my next/back several times etc. He paid for everything for the whole weekend (apart from like twice where I practically forced him to let me pay)

Im so so confused.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 4:39 am

If you haven’t talked for just two days, that means you’re overhinking…

Joy

October 21, 2017 at 11:43 pm

What if you had a situation where if you did do no contact he would think you don’t care and just accept thats how it is because he that type of guy who does chase you but if you show no interest then he thinks really don’t care he’s one needs to be reassured no matter what because he just accepts everything otherwise I think that is due to that the he has had to go through some very hard experiences and has had a pretty miserable past relationship for 6 years he’s not one to chase if he thinks your given up on him. ButI can phase things out slowly as it is I don’t really talk to him much but if I do he does respond and has told me himself that I should be happy that he does respond he though he is busy which I am and that he does try to make the conversation flow

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 3:36 pm

Hi joy,
When and why did you break up? Phasing it out slowly means making it easier for him to move on from you.
Check this one:
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

Sunshine

October 21, 2017 at 7:46 pm

So, i met this guy through a common friend. She somehow showed him my facebook profile and he became interested. He ask my friend to set us up on a date and we did. We really had a great time, though he lives 5 hrs away from me. After our first date everything semmed fine. Texts and calls and videochats everyday. We see each other 3x only for 2 months. And then last week, he told me his grandmother died, and that was his last message. I thought I should give him space, didn’t bother him because maybe he is sad but then he started posting on social media that looks like he was having fun. I tried messaging him asking if eveything’s alright but he won’t open my message. It has been 7 days already. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2017 at 1:46 pm

Hi Sunshine,

Do you want to try the nc rule?

El

October 17, 2017 at 11:49 pm

What do i do if neither of us uses social media and we’d only been in a relatioship a few months so don’t have mutual friends?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 19, 2017 at 2:56 pm

Hi El,

that means you have to open a Facebook or Instagram account, so that when he becomes curious he will see your posts.

Ann

September 30, 2017 at 11:45 pm

In your article you said to wait 45 days for no contact or until he realizes he misses you. But in the no contact article it says not to go longer then 45 days. So if he ghosted you do different rules apply for the length of no contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 2, 2017 at 11:30 am

Hi Ann,

Sorry, I don’t entirely understand what you mean. What different rules do you have in mind? If he ghosted you, you can do as long as 45 days if you want, and then initiate contact after that

Crystal

September 27, 2017 at 3:07 am

So, I met this guy online several months ago. We hit it off, and we talked everyday for a few weeks. Then, poof he disappears. After a couple of messages went unanswered, I told him it was cool if he wanted to just be friends (I truly meant it because we hadn’t met or anything), but no response. Fast forward 7 months (after I’ve forgotten him), and he hunts me down and sends me a friend request on facebook. I accepted, and we started talking again. He apologized about ghosting me, and his reason was that he was overwhelmed between work, figuring things out with his ex regarding their son after their recent divorce, etc. He asked me out on a date, to which I initially said no. However, after he repeatedly apologized, asked for a second chance, and kept talking to me for a couple of weeks, I decided to go out with him. We talked every day for about a month, but we only went on 2 dates due to our schedules (it just happened that we were both really busy during this time). I was leaving for a week long vacation, and he started acting a bit distant, so I asked if everything was ok. He said he was just busy, and I told him ok, I just didn’t want him to feel overwhelmed and to disappear again because I liked him. We didn’t talk while I was on vacation as I didn’t have service. I messaged him to let him know I was back. He read it, no response. Next day, I messaged him, just asking if everything was ok. He read it, no response. I sent one final message telling him that I got the hint that he didn’t want to talk to me, and that it’s cruel to ignore someone completely, and he shouldn’t have come back if he was just going to do this again. He read it, then blocked me on Facebook. I had no intention of saying anything else, but it really hurt that he took that extra step.

I really liked this guy, and things seemed to be going well, so I don’t get it. What’s his deal? Normally, I’d forget about him and not waste my time, but dating after divorce is hard. Been there, done that. So, my brain can’t decide if he’s just struggling with dating or if he’s just a complete jerk. What’s your take on this one?

Crystal

October 9, 2017 at 1:23 am

He’s been divorced just over a year. From what he told me, he hasn’t dated at all since. On date one, he was already talking about a future with me. He mentioned buying a house within the next year and told me where he was looking to buy, and he asked if I would be willing to live in that area. He mentioned future vacations, getting married, etc. I thought discussing those things on a first date was moving very quickly, but I just assumed that he was just excited and not used to dating. I told him I wanted to get to know him better, but I’m not in a rush . He initiated most of the conversations, checked on me several times when I was sick, etc. It just seems so strange to cut all communication when I wasn’t bombarding him with messages, begging to see him, etc. I almost feel like he rushed in trying to start a full fledged relationship and then freaked. Thoughts? I’m not contacting him, & I’m still blocked as far as I know.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2017 at 1:48 pm

Maybe he did, but after that I wouldn’t talk to him..he has to do a looooot of work to get my trust back
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 10:40 pm

HI Crystal,

how long ago was he divorced? Because it seems like he’s not serious with you.. for me, you should move on because it looks like he has an attitude of talking to you when he has nothing to do and ghosting you when he’s busy.

Pampa

August 28, 2017 at 11:35 pm

Hi, i really need your advice.
I started talking with this guy 6 months ago. Actually i like him since 2 years ago without him knowing. So when he finally come to me 6 months ago, it was a happiness to me.
I met him only twice. When i met him, he treat me like i’m his woman. Very sweet and a nice man to share ideas tho. But, 3 months ago, we met and suddenly he kissed me after dinner in his apartment. Very intense and i’m afraid it was goin lead into had sexs. I’m quite shocked because it’s kinda confusing because i don’t know what his motives, is he just want make out with me, is he a man who have trouble with expressing his feelings in a word or what? He never said he likes me. He only hugs me from the back if i ask his feeling back then. So i end up angry and went home that night. After a week i text him why he did that? Did he just want my exterior or what? Aaaand he is not reply mt text until now. It’s been almost 4 months. When i still befriend with him in social media, he kept updates his instagram or path. My feeling hurts so i delete his contact and social media. He definitely dump me, right? My feeling is so hurt because i keep thinking about him and actually i love him. I’m so sad. What can i do to move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2017 at 9:17 pm

Hi Pampa,

Yeah, it looks like he was just wanting to sleep with you..check this one:
How To Get Over An Ex Boyfriend When You’re Still In Love With Him

Kilauren

August 16, 2017 at 9:36 am

Hi there, so nice to know I’m not alone in this. My bf does a stupidly insane job and hasn’t contacted me for 32 days. Nothing unusual for his work but he’s been finished now for two weeks and I haven’t heard from him. His last contact was loving and my reply was lighthearted and non needy. Chances of his meeting someone else is 0.00001% and he’s mature enough not to ghost. I haven’t reached out to him because about a year ago I did that and got reminded that he was still chasing me so I won’t do it again. My question is, at this point do I assume he IS ghosting me and start 45 days NC? Xx

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 16, 2017 at 2:31 pm

Yes, he has totally ghosted you

sam

August 6, 2017 at 2:11 pm

Reading all the other comments really has made me feel better! its horrible that after someone would do this to us we would still want them back but they arent all bad people and I am sure I have done it to people in my time.With my situation i had been with my ex for 4 years,we broke up i was fine for first couple of weeks,we then met up and swapped letters to each other saying how we would like to see how it goes and hopefully get back together.its been since 5 days since i have now heard from my ex the last text he sent me said “that text was meant for someone else ? he basically thought i was replying to another text to someone esle where it was meant for me saying about meeting up friday.I then yes as a mistake text him a few times saying hope everything is ok as a family member had been really sick and then poured my heart out for the last time this morning saying how upset i was and i assume he was seeing someone else (yes it is crazy as its been 5 days but i thought me saying that would almost make him react like hed panick and think quick i must tell her i am not seeing anyone so she doesnt move on but that is not the case).I think after 4 years that he will eventually reply on his own terms as surely he cant just ignore after saying about making a go of it , i know i havent played my best cards by looking crazy but if he had any respect for last 4 years you would think.but i am gutted and have cried most days and it has felt like an enternity but i suppose it best to think its over and thats it !i keep checking his whatsapp and the last time he was on and as i know what he is doing for the next few weeks (going on holiday and other events) I cant stop myself from thinking of him getting with other people.i feel like because i am not at my best at the moment i feel vulnerable etc so this will be the beginning of the no contact rule.i do wonder though if he does text me do you wait to the end of the no contact rule to reply as surely you are then ghosting the ghoster ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017 at 2:21 pm

Hi sam,

It depends if it’s not awkward to reply to that text after nc otherwise start a new topic

Mare

July 28, 2017 at 7:23 pm

Hey Amor!

I was having some issues posting and I’m not sure if it went through, hope this isn’t a duplicate, but here’s the situation:

So I met this guy on bumble and everything seems to be going really well. We spoke everyday, texts and phone calls, and there was an equal amount of effort. Week nights were hard for dates because of our conflicting schedules, but we saw each other almost every weekend. Plans were made ahead of time. His friends knew about me, the whole thing. He also always said that it was up to me to let him know “when I felt he earned the right to be exclusive” and that “he was super picky so he wasn’t talking to other girls.” It had been about a month and four actual dates. Then one day (3 days after a great date and normal communication afterwords up to said day) he was telling me how a bridesmaid from his brothers wedding two years ago and him were friends and he’s going to this wedding in November with her. I let it go and was like oh that sounds fun! Then he was super quiet and moody over the next few days until that Saturday. I texted him in the morning as usual and he was a little short but everything seemed fine. I asked him if he still wanted to do something later that day and I haven’t heard from him since. Literally mid conversation, and I know he’s been on bumble since. I know it seems silly because it was so short, but I really liked him and saw a relationship starting to build. I texted him twice afterwards saying hey and then “everything okay?” a few days later. I also unfollowed him on Instagram because I was gonna drive myself crazy. He still follows me on snapchat and Instagram, but hasn’t viewed a story since Sunday (the day after the ghosting) I’ve been using the no contact rule for 3 days now and taking some time to focus on me and my new workout and diet plan. I just need to know if I’m holding out false hope. What do you think?

Mare

July 28, 2017 at 7:24 pm

I just realized it posted 3 times I am so sorry!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 30, 2017 at 4:38 pm

Hi Mare,

That’s ok…Honestly, I think he’s not serious with you and you invested more emotionally than him. If you still want to try and see what will happen..just do 21 days..

Mare

July 27, 2017 at 7:47 pm

This is long and a doozy haha but I wanted to give as much context as possible.

Heyy! I sent an email, but I’m struggling over here haha. I want to join a free coaching class, but it’ll have to wait until after work today
So I met this guy on bumble and everything seems to be going really well. We spoke everyday, texts and phone calls, and there was an equal amount of effort. Week nights were hard for dates because of our conflicting schedules, but we saw each other almost every weekend. Plans were made ahead of time. His friends knew about me, the whole thing. He also always said that it was up to me to let him know “when I felt he earned the right to be exclusive” and that “he was super picky so he wasn’t talking to other girls.” It had been about a month and four actual dates. Then one day (3 days after a great date and normal communication afterwords up to said day) he was telling me how a bridesmaid from his brothers wedding two years ago and him were friends and he’s going to this wedding in November with her. I let it go and was like oh that sounds fun! Then he was super quiet and moody over the next few days until that Saturday. I texted him in the morning as usual and he was a little short but everything seemed fine. I asked him if he still wanted to do something later that day and I haven’t heard from him since. Literally mid conversation, and I know he’s been on bumble since. I know it seems silly because it was so short, but I really liked him and saw a relationship starting to build. I texted him twice afterwards saying hey and then “everything okay?” a few days later. I also unfollowed him on Instagram because I was gonna drive myself crazy. He still follows me on snapchat and Instagram, but hasn’t viewed a story since Sunday (the day after the ghosting) I’ve been using the no contact rule for 3 days now and taking some time to focus on me and my new workout and diet plan. I just need to know if I’m holding out false hope. What do you think?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 30, 2017 at 4:38 pm

Hi Mare,

That’s ok…Honestly, I think he’s not serious with you and you invested more emotionally than him. If you still want to try and see what will happen..just do 21 days..

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321 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You”