Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
Traits Avoidants Find Attractive
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
Post categories
R
February 19, 2015 at 1:58 am
Hi Chris
My bf of 6 years broke up with me 3 month ago a day after his birthday and a week before mine over a fight that we had that he lied for going out with friends behind my back. A week before that he inttoduced me to his parents and he wanted to take an official step in summer and he was happy about itthat iam gona be a part of his family ..But lately i was not happy i used to fight with him alot and always in a bad mood even when he makes me feel good but i dno what what i going through nor he did so instead of him trying to be next to me he starter to go out to relax and not hearing me nagging. So when he broke up with me and i was shocked ( still now ) because he did not tell me the reason why he said i dont want to speack about it . And if we are meant to be we will be and i dont want to think about the future for now and he started going out but i insisted on knowing the reason. I know i did a big mistake tjat i folllowed him and i cried but i had to knw iy is one of my rights after 6 years after a while when he saw me that i started to move on ( i did not but i tried to show him ) he followed me but did not want us back saying let things work by itself and he want to be just frnds for now we talked for 1 week everyminute and he showed me that he really is jealous because i keep my self busy with my friends but one day i couldn’t take it so i got in a fight with him because he is going out with people o dont like (i know its not my business bcz we are not together ) but i got jealous and i had my pride… so he stoped talking to me i askd him y u came back and now u dont want to talk again he said he remember how i used to fight with him and disrespecte him so i tried to explain to him and tell him he hurt me in his actions and he still is and i told him how i feel and and and… so he just said take care he did not tell me anything at all and i dont knw if that is the main reason y he broke up with me . But he could have told me why he didn’t ? He could have told me this is the main reason and i cant be with you instead he said if it is meant to be it will be and i dont wana talk about the reason and i know iam a jerk for not telling you ..just forget about it live day by day.
I really need to knw what is going on in his mind iam on my Nc now its been 18 days ..
What do you suggest ? Why he did not tell me the reason? And should i contact him if he did not after my Nc ? Or should i expand the Nc to more than 30 days
Please pleasee reply
Thank you
R
February 19, 2015 at 2:16 am
And i forgot to mention that he refused to talk to me after the breakup refused to talk anything about our relation even he refused to see me .. but when we talked for a week he was at the hospital he expected from me to show up but i did not he got upset.
admin
February 20, 2015 at 11:07 pm
In other words there was a double standard in play?
dan123
February 21, 2015 at 12:04 am
Well i did not want to see him not because he refused to c me when we broke up , but because i dont want to be in the” Friend zone ” and make him comfortable about the situation we are in .
But why he refused to see me when i asked him to , to explain for me the reason he broke up with me , but he wanted to see me while he was at the hopital ?
dan123
February 18, 2015 at 9:53 pm
What if my boyfriend really hurt me in his actions after we broke up . Like he hang out with alot of girls .. and he posted the pictures on fb ( even though i dont have him ) made comments for girls and stuff like that after a 6years relationship refusing to talk to me and he left without any reason leaving me in lala land and saying that he does not want to talk about the reason never . And if we are meant to be we will be . And he is always going out and he did not want to see me after the breakup he refused to ! And now its been 2 weeks on my Nc .. i have a question even if hurt me in his actions and i still love him no matter what but i have my pride ! And really want him back but hiw he will see it if i countacted him after my Nc ?
admin
February 20, 2015 at 6:13 pm
Well, to me it all starts with YOU and what YOU want.
dan123
February 20, 2015 at 10:35 pm
Off course i want him back but i am the type of girl who refuse to talk to her ex bf because he is the one who left me for unknown reasons and hurt me alot .But He was once the best person i have ever met and still till now . I know i may sound contradicting my self but in my case do you think a man will feel guilty for leaving for no reason , and as a guy do u think he may at least talk again ?
If a guy still inlove with his girl will he breakdown sooner or later ? Or the chances are little
admin
February 21, 2015 at 12:07 am
You might need to set that pride aside hahaha.
dan123
February 21, 2015 at 12:32 am
Cuz i followed him a lot to just know the reason before i took the decision not to anymore , he made me this person that i am today ..
okeyy i will (try) but can i expand the Nc rule to more than 30 days if he did not contact me ? Or the results won’t be as good as if i worked on it now
Leah
February 12, 2015 at 11:49 pm
I need advice so badly and there is a lot to read.
Beginning of this year: me and my ex decided to go on a break, it was more him than me but I was willing, while on the break we did get on better but we was still talking and still sleeping with eachother. Over text if I told him I loved him he would say “aw cute” or “moo don’t” then when I met him in person and said I love you he would always say he loves me back.
Near to the end of January he stopped meeting me, I would ask him to stay at mine and his response would be “not tonight”, “maybe” or “I’m babysitting” and I would mither him and try and persuade him to stay but it wouldn’t work
I saw him on the 27th of January for about 30minutes with my friend and then he went.
Beginning of February; after the 27th of January he didn’t meet me for two weeks, he met me on the 8th of February and he was all over me, we did sleep together and we was together for around 4hrs, while I was with him he was kissing me and holding my hand and at one point I did say take me back and he said I can’t so I left it because I didn’t want to seem pathetic. We was fine and he went home later.
On monday we spoke about him staying at mine on Tuesday and he was throwing the same replies “maybe” and tuesday came he said he felt ill and didn’t, he said I will stay tomorrow on Wednesday and I asked him to promise and he said yes so at this point I’m excited. Wednesday night comes and i ask and he’s says “your not going through my phone because you will see things you won’t want to see, so i ask what now irritated and I say you talking to your ex Natalie? And he said yes. I was hurt and annoyed now because he’s never spoken to her while with me and I didn’t understand why now. I asked if had met her and he said once. In the end I was playing it cool and left it. I ask if he’s staying and he says no so I’m upset and annoyed because I feel like he only meets me when he wants something from it. I start crying because I’m sick of how the relationship is, how I’m always running after him, always wanting to be with him, still waiting to be taken back and my feelings being played with.. SO I’m crying in the phone to him and hes kind of laughing asking what’s up and I explain how I feel like an idiot and we start arguing. In the end he says “I just want to be friends, Im not ready to be mithered, I do still love you” I’m hurt but I felt accepting because I dont think k fully understood that I had just been friend zoned.
I’m messaging him and he stops replying and I’m starting to think of him and his ex wondering if bea texting Her. I download what’s app and see if he has it and what do I see on his picture? A picture of his ex Natalie’s baby and him, so now I am shaking I’m tearing up because he said he met Natalie once so I ring him and I’m questioning him and he’s laughing saying I don’t need to answer you, why are you investigating, so what and so on and I say “all the times you’ve not met me because your babysitting did you mean babysitting her son” and he said yeah but later on said he only babysat her child once. We had an argument that resulted in him hanging up on me. We carried on arguing over text and I rang him again anout his ex, I wanted to know whether to give up on us incase he was talking to her again. He said he isn’t talking to her but I might as we’ll give up on us because it’s done and the convo didn’t really last long.
At first we are arguing over text but it soon turns to more about us and our relationship and I was trying to convince him not to give up on me and play the sympathy card but it wasn’t working. He ended up saying he was going to bed because he felt horrible and said goodnight and that he would message me the next day.
Today we have spoken just as friends and only through text and iv broken down in class 4x becauss I miss him. He messaged me this morning which is unusual because I always message him first. He drove past me on my dinner and pipped his horn. He’s being nice but only nice.
I want to get him back I can’t even stand the thought of someone else. I love him and his 21st birthday is on Valentine’s day and I’m dreading it, I won’t be spending it with him..
We was together a yr and 6month, he never messaged me first, he is VERY STUBBORN Iv gone 3 days without talking to him in the past and he never even text me so I texted him. He never shows his emotions and he’s very blunt. He said to me the other day when we was arguing if I rang him again he will block my number.
I want to show him that I don’t mither him and show myself I don’t need to text him all the time but I’m scared doing to 30day NC is a bad idea.. He’s talking to his ex as a friend, and not talking to me might make him realise how happier he is without ME.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME
I can’t loose him
JJ-
February 8, 2015 at 10:34 pm
so basically,last fall, Boyfriend of almost 2 years left to college, I was set to go to the same college (for my own personal reasons not having to do with him) but in the spring semester. Everything was going so great but i feel like with his demanding sport, all his classes, and balancing his new social life with visiting me- and then dividing his weekend visits home between me, his family, and his old friends, it all became alot for him to handle. A lot of pressure. Out of nowhere he started talking kinda weird a few times and hinting at what if we took a break , and getting in random slumps or would have a super short fuse with me about small things. Then one day he said he needed space to think about what he wanted. He didnt talk to me that week very much and by the end he called and broke up with me (kept calling it a break) saying he feels we arent focussing enough on ourselves or important things as much as much as we should and that we’re distracting ourselves and that im the girl for him but if there’s any chance of us having a successful mature relationship, we seriously gotta take a step back and just work on ourselves-for ourselves and grow up. He also was concerned that I was revolving my life too much around him and didnt want to hold me back (ugh whatever dude its not all about you ya know) but yeah we were both devastated, especially cause we were eachothers bestfriends. I made alot of those mistakes you said not to do. he was texting me to check up on me like every other week, it was a confusing time cause he was still caring, and at times flirtatious. But i did a NC period towards the end of november after a big blowup-misunderstanding thing, and I only broke it to wish him a merry christmas and we exchanged blessings to the family and such. Now its spring semester and im here ! Going to the same college in the same town. Didnt reach out to him at all until like the 3rd week i was out i here i texted him a funny meme just to be silly and kinda catch up a little and eventually- things got kinda realllllllllllly flirtatious and he pulled the breaks and basically in a nutshell he was like “Any guy would say im crazy for saying this, yes im so turned on, but as awesome as this is, we cant be talking like this” and he had to dip out of the conversation until he “was back in a good frame of mind” cause he was going physically crazy( heheheheh) i was like ok no big deal , later when conversation resumed i was like “its all good, we shouldnt do that to eachother, even though we’re obviously still attracted to eachother”. multiple texts go back and forth And at one point yeah he was like “we are both doing so much good for our lives during this breakup, im too focussed on myself right now to be in love with anyone but i still really care for and love you and i still consider you my best friend we know eachother more than we know ourselves blah blahblah” so like yeah thats where he’s at. A few weeks ago when we were drunk (at separate locations) i texted him semi-jokingly just sayin i saw his snapchat post and that he looked good and he was like “if you only knew..” and then told me he doesnt know whats wrong with him but every time a girl approaches him he says something mean to them and leaves and he hasn’t been with anyone since we broke up. A little whiles later By coincidence we ran into each other on the first day of the new semester and it was a pleasant encounter.We walked around and I was overflowing with confidence and security (like when a girl would pass him and steal him for a quick hug or when he got a text from a girl wanting to go to coffee) which i think surprised him being that in the past things like that would stir up jealousy on my part but this time around i was totally chill. We just joked and talked alot. I was going to turn and say bye to go to my parking lot and he said he would walk me to my car and i could give him a ride to his car in a different lot. (which i take as he didnt want the conversation to end) he seemed really happy to see me and kept complimenting my new hair, even touched it a few times.On the walk to the car He smoothly pulled me close for a hug in a joking nature but held me for quite a bit before i jokingly pushed him away . I drove him to his car and that’s the last i saw him. Now he’s starting to contact me casually out of nowhere every week or so via text/snapchat, which I have to get used to and work on not being so eager to reply. He will every now and then drop hints when he’s extremely missing me physically-like saying when he’s having “insane” dreams (Obviously i know what that means)- to where internally im like ok dude what am i supposed to do about that? hahaha This week is his birthday and I plan to just keep it short and sweet with a simple friendly happy birthday text and follow your cliffhanger strategy for any potential conversation that may follow that one. I have made plans to go visit friends out of town to make sure im unavailable valentines weekend. I feel like he’s still interested but is weary of commitment now that he’s had some freedom, he says he doesnt wanna “jump back into anything too soon”. I’m so ready to have him back but I know i gotta make it seem like its up to him. Have i done things right so far? Where am I at? How should i move forward at this point? I’m so ready to have him back but I know i gotta make it seem like its up to him.
JJ-
February 11, 2015 at 11:16 pm
mini update: sent him a nice happy birthday text on his birthday and he responded, i asked if his day was going good thus far and he replied and used some smileys- and instead of trying to continue the convo (like i normally would) i responded and then added on that i had to go do some homework with a “ttyl!” kept it short and sweet despite the urge to keep trying to talk to him, ended it on my terms for once B) hope im doing things right
Confused
February 4, 2015 at 7:22 pm
My ex and I had been together for 2 years, honestly I believe he is my soul mate. However a month ago it all came to a head when I was overly stressed with work and I asked him to leave me alone. Now we are both very stubborn individuals and we ended up not speaking for 3 weeks. However I then came across a picture of him and another girl on a social networking site and I was outraged, I texted him about how hurt and angry I was, his reply was that I just left him and he was hurt. We argued and sorted it out we met up and things happened. The same thing has happened another two more times, we talk almost everyday and when we’re together it’s like we’ve never been apart. But the girl I mentioned earlier, he openly speaks about her to me, claims he is happy talking to her yet still engages with me, even down to the small stuff like having a cuddle and kissing my forehead, then tells me he wants to be friends. I really don’t know what to do. Obviously I want him back I believe he is my soulmate but what about this other girl? She is arguably the opposite to me, and as I know my ex well she kind of goes against everything he wants?! What should I do help please
admin
February 5, 2015 at 3:20 pm
Then they seem destined to fail if everything you said is true.
yasmin
February 2, 2015 at 5:54 am
Hi,
my boyfriend broke up with me he told me that I’m a girl he wish to be with but its not going to workout and he wanted us to be friends after a week of that i didnt take it so i send him a goodbye message and he replyed saying will you be my lover -we are not from the same place so he was worried that because we are away from each other after a while our love is going to be lost so he needed some time with him self after that he said ” you shoud trust me and you shoud understand that you are not the onely one that i dont respond to her in time and we will talk but not everyday and when the right time comes we will talk ” now if i send him a message he respond after days i dont feel that he cares and that was the problem before breaking up i mean if he wants me why he is acting this way and he will never going to admit that he did something wrong so i just gave up and stopped talking i just dont understand him .after not talking to him for two days he sent me a voice message saying that he hopes that i’m ok and he said i think that you are busy or you dont want to talk to me but i realy miss talking to you i talked to him after a day of that and he talked for two minutes and was talking like a friend i thought that what he said earlier means that we are together again and when i asked him what are we now he said that we are together now and thats the important thing leave that question to the time . now i dont know what he means by that what should i do in this case ? shoud i stop talking to him ?
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:45 pm
For 30 days… absolutely..
Sarah Poller
January 26, 2015 at 10:03 am
My name is Sarah and I am 34 from the uk.
Me and my ex split up one week ago today, until yesterday I did the needy and beg for forgiveness and please come come back all the time. I’m currently on day one of NC.
Here is my story, we have been together for 17 years and known eachother for 20 yrs and were best friends first.
2 years ago that’s when it started breakdown and it was my fault. I suffer badly with depression so was on medication and my ex was moaning about me being on them because I was like a zombie all the time and had no interest in him. I came off the tablets and tried to do it alone. My ex started to work on the vans as a night trunker and he was away 6 days a week for 9 months, he would come home 1 day a week and would struggle to be with us as he couldn’t handle the noise. We started to go out of a week end and that was so lovely, he signed us up to an adult site and started to message couples and women and was sexting them whilst working away aswell as swapping naked pics, I found out that he had been doing that and it really hurt me but he wouldn’t talk about it. Then I started to talk to an old male school friend and we quickly hit it off, I sort of put me and him in a bubble and that became my reality although I still managed to be a mom and girlfriend to my ex. Me and my school friend started to text eachother a lot and the messages became more intimate as the weeks went on, I even thought about leaving my ex. I met him twice once with my kids as I suppose a part of me knew this was wrong and I bought a phone from him but never told my ex where I got it from. He then came round to my house once my ex left for work and my children were in bed and we spoke which was nice but he then came into me and kissed me so I pushed him away and lent him the £30 he had originally come round for. After that point I did everything I could to cut off contact with him and afew weeks it worked. My ex however found our messages and went understandably mad but chose to forgive me although he cannot forget.
Since that time I have been depressed many times, became lonely, needy, controlling and much more. My eldest child started to show serious behaviour issues and was being violent to his siblings and myself. So my attention was focused on him and making sure everyone was safe that’s when my ex again signed up to dating sites, adult sites and gay sites, I was gutted again when I found out he had done this and he deleted all profiles but wouldn’t talk about it. He has done that five times now all with the same excuse he felt lonely because I was preoccupied elsewhere. I felt that to be very selfish, considering for the last two yrs he hasn’t lived with us he’s been at his dads of a weekday and with us of a week end only. He says I’m too controlling but I had to become that way to keep the house running, pay the bills etc. he said it’s because I would call him daily and ask what he was doing and when he would be home. I said it’s because I can’t work and don’t speak to anyone else properly that I speak to you it’s not that I’m checking up on it it’s not. He said I’m to needy and very insistent too.
I still suffer badly with my depression and I’m again back on my tablets as well as now seeing a counsellor, I’ve signed up to volunteer at my children’s school and in making more of an effort to go out and be social which I’m finding hard.
My question is should I still do the no contact?
How do I tackle it as we speak because of the kids and he says he still wants us to be close friends and talk about everything, he wants to be able to message me all the time and even at one point suggested we may be able to do family holidays together and the possibility of him staying over of a week end so he can see all the kids together. He has also mentioned the possibility of us going to the cinema out for a meal and drink, Is there a chance I can save us or start a brand new relationship?
What the best approach for me?
Over the past few days he tells me that I’m still attractive to him, that he misses me, I’m pretty and if we met in a bar he would come on to me. He also said that if I met someone right now and had sex with them it wouldn’t bother him then afew hrs later it would hurt him and upset him but he has no right to control what I do now. He says all that above again but he doesn’t love me like a boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s so hard to have him around and me acting so normal like friends, he was even talking about getting his own place preferably his own flat rather so in the future he could take a girl back with him my heart sank, he told me I look nice today and we sat at Greggs for about an hr just normally talking about his work etc it’s just so hard. I said to him that he need to learn to be happy with what you have in your life, I said by all means be ambitious but be happy enjoy your children I said you made me feel at times not good enough and what we had was not enough because you were never happy with what u had.
So I’m really confused any advice would be appreciated.
Sarah.x
Sarah Poller
January 26, 2015 at 10:04 am
Forgot to mention we have five children together and he is currently having them every week end
Cal
December 11, 2014 at 11:24 pm
Hey Chris,
I don’t know how I would do the 30 day no contact step because we work together. I see him almost everyday and it would be impossible to not talk to him. Also we broke up about 1 year ago and recently started talking more and hating out. This made me realize I want to be more than friends again. Please help me figure out what to do for the no contact step. Thanks.
Cynthia
December 9, 2014 at 12:32 pm
Hi Chris,
i just read this site today and i feel confused of my situation.
Let me explain, i thought we were doing well until 3 weeks ago my ex said he wants out. We just came back from vacation so I was shocked.But he told me this a day after We had an argument which is my fault. but his reasoning for breaking up is different and he said our argument has nothing to do with it and nothing i said or did influenced i.
he said he wants to go priesthood and he wants to be alone.I thought he was lying but actually discovered he is making some inquiries to seminaries.Although he isnt decided yet to be priest, he said he wants not to be in relationship and us to be very best friends. and for the past few weeks I was trying to fight via text and sometimes in person cause he comes over and vist twice since the break up, on how could he possibly drop me that quick and didnt give me a warning.
but few days ago, I didnt contact him for just 2 days and he send sms that he wants to see me next 2x weekend cause he is off at that time but as friends.the thing is i already agree to this because I was hoping that maybe he will change his mind if he realize how happy we are together. im thinking I will shut my mouth this time next week and not ask him about his decision and just have fun with.
but the thing is, the 2 times he came over as friends, although we fight and argue, we still sleep together in the same bed – just pure sleep and he sometimes cuddle up and kiss me on cheek.
im confused if agreeing to him to see him on next weekend will help him realize in favor of me or he will be like this forever as a friend but with intimacy.
i was very attached to him and it wrecked me when he left me 3 weeks ago, and it almost crippled me but im recovering now, but i still want him back but Im scared on the result of our meeting next week. your thoughts ?
i couldnt quite get his state of mind.. Im planning not to txt him until next week but because he himself convinced himself that i am his bestfriend he checks on me all the time.
i grab his offer of friendship only because i thought i might sway his decision in the long run
admin
December 10, 2014 at 3:08 pm
You definitely dont want to get friendzoned…
Cynthia
December 10, 2014 at 9:17 pm
What should i do?should i give him up?
I want him back in my life but. I just want to have honest opinion if he still has chance to change his mind.
He told me very clearly he still loves me and he thinks this is whats best for me.. Not to be with him cause he has no clear indication of future.
I do think he is wrong, he is worth it, even if i have to wait Im willing, but i need to understand from your opinion if we have chance and what should i do
Cynthia
December 9, 2014 at 12:44 pm
Also because he is very fixed about best friend thing, at first few weeks Im not believing it, cause i know he loves me and thought he will change his kind after few days.
but lately, i felt numb and felt why would he do this to me.So im starting a program to “love myself” but Im scared because of our best friend thing , I will just be depressed again
Janie
December 1, 2014 at 11:07 am
Please someone help me!!!!!Okay well my ex bf of 4 years and I broke up in August because he said he needed space and he didn’t want to be in a relationship. I tired being his friend so many times and he didn’t want to. He was talking to another girl and it hurt me because he said he wanted to be single. He later on tried to talk to me and be my friend and I blew him off. so things were awkward between us until finally after 2 months later he called me saying he wanted to be friends and I told him why are calling me? I tried being your friend a long time ago and you didn’t. He said he wanted to end things in a good way. I guess I just went with it and we were talking we hung up. Later on that night he texted me where I was at and he came over and we talking having a good time like as friends and well he was already leaving we hugged goodbye. I started crying I told him why did you do this to me. Because we ended things bad. He said he didn’t want to talk about this right now. And well he stayed a little longer and we were talking normal again and well he tried kissing me but I was said no I’m not kissing you.. He tried again and we kissed we were just staring at each other and we kissed again he had asked me after is there anything you need to tell me and I was like what do you want me to say and he said anything…so I told him I loved him…and i started crying and he told me he loved me back and he started crying as well and we were like now what are we.. I guess we both agreed as bf gf again…. And well I texted him the next day I didn’t know if I could do this cause he hurt me so bad. And we decided to be friends and take things slow. Then we hung out 1 day later we had a blast laughing hugging kissing telling each other we loved one another we were just all over each other… And it just happened we had sex and we couldn’t believe we had done that. And kinda made me believe we were gonna be something again. We would talk every night about us how we were gonna work things out to getting back to a relationship. Then just like that he just changed his mind like nothing saying that half of his loves me and the other wants to be free. It just really broke my heart because he it seemed like we were gonna be something again. And he throws that at me. He said he wasn’t ready to get back into a relationship again…he still wants to party and what now…and he said he just wants to be friends again…now I’m just heart broken again…he said he needs more time to think about it…what should I do..should I move on or should I wait for him?
Karen
December 9, 2014 at 4:29 am
Omg this happened to me today I totally understand we have very similar situations I was doing just fine without my ex and then he comes back in the picture and messes up my progress he says he loves me but he can’t handle a relationship right now and we kissed and had sex and he was crying saying he loves me but then the next day says we can only be friends for now and I’m confused because I don’t know if I should wait for him or just move on it’s hard because I love him so much.
admin
December 1, 2014 at 3:45 pm
How long have you been doing the NC rule for?
Janie
December 1, 2014 at 11:34 pm
For about 4 months. I’m so heart broken.
ify
December 1, 2014 at 7:01 am
Hi Chris,
A couple of days ago my boyfriend of 5 months and I broke up. It mutual. Yesterday I told him how I felt about everything which included telling him I wanted to give things a go again. He said we were better off just being friends but I don’t want to give up just yet. I started nc two days ago and on the day after that he texted me.
Thanks
admin
December 1, 2014 at 3:36 pm
Seems you took the first appropriate step, doing NC.
Julia Pitts
October 16, 2014 at 4:46 pm
I have been dating a Cap male for the past 8 months. He is 50 with two adult children and I am 40 with two minor children (7 and 9 – that he has not met). I was friends with my guy for 10 years, we lost contact and met again shortly after I filed for divorce and started dating. Very early into our dating relationship he starting moving things to the next level. I was pretty much – lets just wait and see what happens. I was just getting out of a marriage and while getting remarried is on my agenda, it’s not immediate.
We have spent the entire summer together – traveling out of the country and to other states. BBQ’s, etc…. The majority of our free time has been spent together. No doubt we are in love with each other.
He has been going back and forth on “to raise kids again or not”. A few weeks ago he made an announcement that he’s decided he doesn’t want to raise children (with me or anyone else) and that we should continue to see each other and keep things as is. He was pretty cold about it. No emotion. I didn’t think this would work for me so I said no. We both exchanged some very harsh words with each other and then he suggested that we be friends. I said yes, just because, but it’s a little to early for me to be friends with someone who I thought would be a long term partner.
He has called me every few days. I haven’t returned his calls. Strange but to me it seems like he’s acting out of fear. He has dated other women with children, and obviously mine were not a secret. His decision came as he realized my divorce was being final. Now he will tell anyone he has deep affection for me, he loves me, and see’s no reason why we can’t keep going how we were but certainly that we can be friends since this is how we started. He just seems cold. Either he was never in love with me like he said or he’s just that non emotional. Thoughts?
admin
October 27, 2014 at 2:53 pm
A cap male?
Forgive my ignorance but what is that?
Tara
October 16, 2014 at 3:22 pm
So I have studied your website in and out – how can a guy text you and say “I still love you and care about you but I just want to be friends” – how do I even work with that? I work at a doctors’ office (mental health, go figure) and I asked a therapist her opinion. She said he isn’t making sense but saying he loves me and cares a lot but yet wants to just be friends. Do i give up, move on or try to work it out. I will follow the NC rule. Yes I made a mistake (drunk fight with him, that’s all no cheating) but I also did A LOT for this guy. I am absolutely miserable and I don’t know what to do.
admin
October 27, 2014 at 2:50 pm
Do the NC rule and get some perspective.
Personally I believe you can’t be in love with your friends… like “in love.” you know what I mean?
Janet
October 16, 2014 at 2:43 pm
Hi Chris,
I’ve been on and off your website for the last year and a half. I’ve gone through so many trying times with my ex boyfriend and now, we are finally on… OK terms.
I’ll give you some history. We’ve known eachother for about 10 years now (since I was 14 and he 16). Initially, he was the one who really loved me; and then I cheated being young and what not. We struggled through and maintained the friendship. He loved me and made it clear until we were 20/22. Then, he got into a relationship with his now ex girlfriend and I left him alone to do that. He was committed to that relationship, but soon after the breakup, we started talking again and eventually got together. I had problems dealing with the fact that my indecision and immaturity resulting in another girl being significant to him.
At the same time, he wasn’t as present in our relationship as he could have been and we struggled to stay together. I went through a tough time and we didn’t talk for a while, five months later, I found out that he was back with the ex girlfriend. We had an emotional conversation; and he ended up tweeting that he regretted one situation (that one), but he had to move with the choices he made. Again, we didn’t talk for about 5 months after that, in that time, they broke up. I wished him a happy birthday and we ended up meeting up. He paid and we spoke; but we avoided the issue. The ex girlfriend ended up coming up again and this time, we addressed/spoke about it.
I found that when he was speaking to me, he was more open. As if, going back there gave him more closure and now he was able to talk to me about it honestly – as opposed to being short with me the first time round. I said that I wanted to talk to him yesterday, and when we met it felt like good times. We spoke about aspects of the break up and where we both went wrong and it was like there was an understanding between us. We also spoke about the possibility of a future between us; and he said that he has realised that I will always be in his life and it is funny that we have come all of this way together. He remembers when we were both in school and now we are working people etc. He also said that he does have strong feelings for me, he always has done and probably always will. When we are together, it feels right and it is like no one can stay angry – we just melt back into eachother.
However, in talking to him, we’ve both realised that we don’t know eachother as well as we both want to know eachother. Especially in terms of being long-term and in a committed relationship. I’ve told him that I would want a future with him (marriage/kids), but I need to know that he is a good person. So, essentially, we are trying to start from scratch and really establish a good foundation for the relationship.
My concerns are two-fold; firstly, how do I get to know him in a way that gives me comfort that I’m not his second choice? He went back to his ex and that concerns me, he has never really offered me an apology for all this ex nonsense. I want him to work for me – dammit! Also, I have said that I want to commit to him long-term etc., but because he hasnt really come back to me on it. I feel to run away now, go into NC. But, what I have realised in past relationships is that my inability to take things slowly causes me to run away – in that respect, I lose the connection and then the guy ends up with someone else.
Your thoughts?
admin
October 27, 2014 at 2:48 pm
Do you think he still holds resentment from the cheating?
J
October 27, 2014 at 5:33 pm
Chris,
You hit the nail on the head and he confirmed it to me the other day.
He said that he needs to find a way to let go of it; but I ended up telling him that I didn’t know how to make that situation better and that I’m not that person anymore. I don’t know what else to do, because I’ve done alot to get this guy back. I’ve got one more passionate stunt that I’m going to deploy, but if the light doesn’t click on for him. I really don’t know what else to say. We talk about having a future together etc. But it’s like he can’t fully open up and trust me. I don’t even know how to make it right! It’s haaaaaard. The funny thing is, he isn’t trying to make up to me for his wrong doings, he would much rather walk away he said. I don’t understand that?
admin
October 28, 2014 at 4:25 pm
Is he a lazy person by nature?
Like, scared to put in the work for a relationship?
J
October 28, 2014 at 10:52 pm
He is a bit lazy. He is definitely not a chaser, but to be fair… I think I’ve enabled that in him. I’m quite a passionate/go getting person by nature. He really hasn’t been required to do much; but will make the ODD gesture here and there.
Another text conversation, and he gives a different rephrasing of the same thing/on the situation. Today it is, ‘I don’t want to be with you right now. Too much has happened and I need a break from “us”‘. I just agreed to whatever he wanted tbh, because I really do think he is all over the place. I think I need a bloody break from us tbh lol – fireworks is no longer happening and I’m just going to take the next 30 days and really consider this “friendship”. Maybe he will never hear from me again.
admin
October 29, 2014 at 2:44 pm
Thats ok… He will get a rude awakening with NC.
J
October 30, 2014 at 9:14 am
Hi Chris,
This might not be the most typical posts, but I thought I would just use this website to express my thoughts.
As you’ve been made aware, my ex and I broke up in September 2013 and since then, I’ve been really keen to get him back because I wanted to give our relationship a chance in a different setting, when his ex girlfriend was out of the picture. Although we are not back together, I can say that we have made some progress… We at least exchange texts – though not always in the most controlled ways. I am happy about this, but at the same time, my inability to get my ex boyfriend back has caused me to take a look at myself and really assess the ways that I have contributed to where we are now. This situation has been ongoing for a long time and I think I’m just about reaching my finishing point. Not only because I’ve misused NC, but because I’m realising that the issues we have are greater than me alone and it takes cooperation and a willingness from both parties to mend their relationship. At present, he is unwilling.
I do think that I have enabled him to be lazy and that my passionate nature has allowed him to think that he can just take the back seat in our relationship and get away with it. I am currently in NC, day 2, not too sure if my NC will change this about him, but I definitely think that it puts a break in this pattern.
I think something else that also encourages me and pushes me to continue with NC until I am happy to break it, is the fact that my ex boyfriend betrayed me. Not only did he go back to his ex girlfriend, go back on his world and leave me when my dad was sick but he doesn’t seem to be registering that those were significant acts and if they were mistakes (which we all make) then, he would be banging down my door just as much as I am banging down his. Instead, he is saying that he would ‘prefer to take the chance getting to know someone new’. My internal response is, ‘so you just think I’m going to be sitting here waiting for that to go wrong again or for you to change your mind?’.
The logical side of me says if someone is sorry and wants you back, they don’t suggest or use the moving on technique. So clearly, he doesn’t want to be with me because that is not the solution. He says that ‘too much has happened’ and that he ‘doesn’t want my distrust to be hanging over his head’ but my response is, ‘you have the power to make our relationship ANYTHING that you want it to be’ – so, for him to take the easy way out? That is some bullshit (let’s be really honest).
Who wants to be with someone who takes the easy way out in difficult circumstances? Who doesn’t try? Even though there’s talk about wanting a future with me etc. Maybe that’s maybe just talk to keep me onside if something else doesn’t work out.
I’m not going to say that I don’t want my ex back, I do; but I’m definitely beginning to see things logically. Maybe that is helping to make me more of an ungettable girl? Alternatively, maybe these thoughts are able to get me further down the road to a new relationship with someone who knows what it means to be a man.
No, I haven’t been the perfect person; but I am the first to take responsibility (the same can’t neccessarily be said for him). I have been committed despite the fact that I was rejected and humiliated… Clearly, that doesn’t seem to be enough for him and it’s all just making me wonder. I refuse to text anymore feelings and iniate contact, I just hope the awakening comes. The only thing is, NC has happened a number of times and been broken, wondering if it will be effective. However, difference is that this time, I refuse to run away and hide. I will update my Facebook and keep him on social media. If life continues with him, great. If it doesn’t, everything will be ok.
admin
October 30, 2014 at 6:40 pm
What are you doing during NC to kind of heal yourself?
Do you mind if I ask?
J
October 31, 2014 at 7:39 am
Of course I don’t 🙂 – I would say that this time round, I’m working on the renewal of my mind and thought processes.
Well firstly, I’m trying to relax my mind and get more sleep. So I’ve started going to bed really early because I find that I’m a lot more calmer when I’m properly rested.
I’m also trying to accept the fact that me and my ex may never get back together and we may not even be friends or talk to eachother again. Accepting that as a possibility.
I’ve also taken to reading some spiritual books, there’s a book called ‘Ask and it will be given’ – it’s interesting to learn about energy and how what you pay attention to can ruin what you get.
I’m also working on being more sociable. I’ve got a couple of parties coming up and even though he decided to pull out of fireworks, I’m still going to have a good time with my friend. I’m not going to be reclusive.
I’m also thinking about some of my goals for next year, and I’m looking to take up a new challenge – journalist writing. So, I’ve made a few enquiries.
Finally, I’ve got a gym membership, I’m going to start going to the gym to release the tension.
The last time I went through no contact with him, I changed my hair and lost some weight. He actually seemed to notice and made reference to it. So that was good, but I realise that right now… I need to work on my temperament and emotions. Need to bring the rationality back – restore some order.
It will be interesting to see if he does get in touch. I was the last one to text and I agreed to being just friends after telling him that his decision to leave was essentially punk move.
J
November 7, 2014 at 7:37 am
Chris, I’m 10 days in today.
Hmmmm. Still unsure what will happen at the end of the month. Life is looking up a little bit for me tjough 🙂
Just don’t know if we have a future together.
J
November 2, 2014 at 9:50 pm
This may be very sad, but I noticed that he reposted a funny video that I posted onto his page on Facebook. So, at least I know that he is watching what I am doing (to an extent) – hmmm
J
October 28, 2014 at 12:17 pm
Well Chris, he turned up at my house yesterday in his car to see me. He still maintains that he wants to be friends because of the situation that has happened; but that he hasn’t ruled out getting back together. I guess we are just hanging out at the moment, but I guess… I’m just scared of being used again or being the rebound. It does sound like he is in the process of getting over his ex and he is more open about answering questions on the matter.
It’s just difficult to be a friend, when I want more or want him to show me affection. With that said, I think that taking it slowly is helpful at the moment because we rushed last time. He has agreed to go to the fireworks display with me next week and also asked me if I was free this week to hang out. Told him I was busy Friday and Saturday and I haven’t text after seeing him last night.
I just want to protect myself this time round and really be clear about what I will and will not accept – any advice?
Janet
October 21, 2014 at 12:23 pm
Well, he sent me this text yesterday:
‘If we are truly meant to be together it will happen.
Until then, it is what it is.’
I haven’t responded. I’m now deciding what to do…
Thoughts?
J
October 25, 2014 at 9:57 am
Okay, so I didn’t respond which was extremely difficult.
Put my phone away and decided that he was out of order.
Did 4 days acting like it didn’t phase me, even though it hurt.
Was thinking about new projects and ventures, updating my facebook status about fun/light things. Scheduled to go out with my friend who popped up spontaneously. During the meal, took my phone out and saw my ex (the one who sent that text) had called me. I’m like whhhhhhhhhhhy? You made yourself clear.
Anyway, I didn’t respond at the time. Decided to give him ONE call back. He didn’t answer. If he doesn’t call again, oh well. But, I refuse to chase him and be that girl. Depending on how long it takes him to get back in touch, he is going to have to wait. I’m not sure whether the 30 day NC rule will work, because he is likely to do the same to me (yes, he is that guy).
But, I’m going to attempt to mirror his response times. If he takes a day, I’ll take 2. If he takes 4, I’ll take 5. The way he has been over the last few weeks, really have shown me that he isn’t worth being put on a pedestal at the moment. Not at all. It would be nice to have him back, but I feel like it’s my responsibility to redraw the lines of respect.
Karen
October 12, 2014 at 1:28 pm
My bf wants us to be best friends. We were together 5 years and he has said he felt no attraction to me anymore. And that he wasn’t sure if he loved me like a girlfriend. Things went from great to terrible in 2 weeks and he broke up with me. About a month before the breakup he was talking about our future together in great depth and then things just took a turn for the worst. I work with him so it’s more difficult as he goes out of his way to talk to me, but he has told his best friend that he likes seeing me, but I clearly need time before we will be ok together. Which is complete fried zone. I’m working my way to becoming an UG, but I can’t help the fact that when I see him, I’m quite cold towards him. We have so many mutual friends and he keeps sending out group messages asking when we are ‘all hanging together’ and it’s very awkward. He sent me a text asking how I am and things like that, but I’m so confused by all of it. I really don’t know if I can be friends with him. I’d like to add that towards the end of our relationship, my ex had a total mid life crisis because things aren’t going the way he planned with work and he was so frustrated. We have been broken up 3 weeks.
jean gray
October 9, 2014 at 3:27 am
Hi, I just wanna ask if how long is the no contact rule applicable? Since me and my ex broke up like a month and a half already but in between he would text me and I’d reply then end up turning him off again… It’s just yesterday that I’ve seen this site and it’s been a week that I we last tried to contact each other so I wanna ask if I could still do the no contact rule…..
admin
October 9, 2014 at 1:48 pm
It is still applicable in your case I beleive.
Are you stealing an X Men name?
jean gray
October 14, 2014 at 3:16 am
Is it more advisable to email you tho? I want to ask more and tell you more details coz this situation I have is really complicated since the ex kinda just got divorced
admin
October 14, 2014 at 4:01 pm
You can if you want!
Camille
October 7, 2014 at 3:23 am
My ex bf broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We almost fight everyday on the last few months of our relationship. We’ve been together for 1.5 years. I tried to reconcile with him on the same day he broke up with me and he said no. After 2 weeks of no contact, I went to him and asked him for us to be friends. And he said yes. He made it clear that i am friendzoned forever. I want him back. What shall I do?
Ana
October 7, 2014 at 1:01 am
Hi, love this website! Need advice please…
Been dating a guy for 7 months when he found out I had been messaging an ex. Some cheeky messages and some things which drew on his personal insecurities. There was nothing really in it, just some meaningless banter which just came out of my own occasional low self esteem. He found this very hard to accept and things really cooled physically between us however we still rented a place and moved in together (kind of, he lives his with Dad, his mum passed away 6 years ago and he didn’t want to upset his Dad so just left some things at ours and stayed a few nights a week).
Then he found out by going through my phone that I had been seeing another guy alongside him behind his back. This other guy was much older with two young children who I adored time with. It all played on my issues with having children as I have some history of loss and fertility issues. I honestly just didn’t know what was best for my future but I always enjoyed every second spent with my partner and on occasion tried to end the relationship where I felt so torn but I failed to be decisive and it was only just after I had a short break with the other man that it came out. My ex felt I did not choose him because I did not get a chance to end the other relationship before he found me out (even though I had essentially ended things on the holiday and just shortly after as I realised my ex made me happier). But my ex did not see this and took it hugely badly (understandably). He does not believe that I was not sleeping with this other man (or other men) even though I have told him the truth that I absolutely was not. It was a very different set up with this other man however no less wrong.
I have since tried everything to explain things to my ex as I love him dearly and want to work things out as when we spend time together we get on so well and have such incredible chemistry. I know he is very hurt and it has taken him a month to really be able to express his feelings. We did continue an on off relationship but he has now called a stop to that saying on the one hand he no longer wishes to be with me but that he also cannot be sure he is not making a mistake. He has offered to stay friends and support me through an illness but only as a friend. He has joined an online dating website and I know he is actively pursuing other women even though him and I still spend time together as friends.
I feel very hurt, while understanding his anger and upset, his feelings of betrayal and that he feels he can never regain his love or trust for me. However I feel like he has dangled me by a string for the last month saying he misses me and wants to see me, seeing me and having a great time and then cutting it off saying he cannot bear to be close to me and cuts me off.
I just don’t know what else to do because I love him so very much and we get on so well and have such great chemistry. He makes me very happy when we are together but he will not believe it. I know he is just clouded by his anger and his sister tells me she knows he still loves me and to give him space, that he will not move on that quickly but I feel so worried he will meet someone else and forget the good times we had. Especially with him chasing other women online. Just feel so sad and confused. I would give him space but I am scared to let go and also miss him so very much. Please help x
admin
October 7, 2014 at 1:54 pm
Well, I have to say you didn’t help your case by seing this other guy… Technically you cheated on him. Were you physical with this other guy?
Ana
October 7, 2014 at 11:56 pm
No I was not physically unfaithful. I spent time with the other man that I should not have done. I stayed at his house and on occasion slept side by side but there was not a physical relationship. I primarily went to see the other guy so that I could spend time with his 2 young children (who I adored). This I felt at the time soothed some previous hurt and also some difficulties I was going through involving not being able to have my own children. This is essentially while the ‘relationship’ with the other man broke down when we spent time together on holiday alone (without his children) as there was no basis to the ‘relationship’ other than my enjoyment in falsely playing ‘happy families’ with his children.
The text messages sent (while on only couple of occasions explicit) and where I had mentioned to two of them about meeting but not made any actions to meet these other guys (if I had wanted to be physically unfaithful I would have been, that was never my intention) were very stupid. The texting were purely selfish attempts to boost my self esteem. Not an excuse at all, I decided upon all my actions (or lack of decisive in knowing what I wanted more accurately).
He is now actively speaking to other women on dating websites and arranging to meet with them. Is it too late to repair the relationship? I am so hurt by the speed he seems to be moving on (less than 6 days since we were physically intimate) and though I have tried to give him space now and apply the NC rule, he still seems to want to be friends (as he allowed me to come to his for coffee and a chat last night – nothing more!) and also text me this morning to ask how I was although it was the kind of text you send to a friend – no kiss on the end!
I feel so confused. Do I apply NC and hope with time his anger diminishes and he grows to miss me or is it all a lost cause with him pursuing other women? Am I just being too available with him knowing I want him back and by being his friend he can keep me on the back burner in case he changes his mind/is bored/can’t find anyone better?
Please advise. I love him so much but being patient when everything is so uncertain is so hard x
admin
October 8, 2014 at 1:04 pm
I understand Ana..
Here is the thing though. If you and I were dating and you had done that to me, slept side by side with another man, I would consider that cheating and break up with you too.
Some aspects of yourself you have to save just for the person you are with.
Definitely apply the NC though.
Ana
October 9, 2014 at 12:22 am
Thank you for your advice. I know I am entirely in the wrong and he is probably right to have ended it for the hurt I caused him. This does not make me stop loving him or wishing he could forgive me though. I will apply NC and just have to accept the consequences if he meets someone else. Only time will tell I guess. Does NC extend to deleting him on Facebook (if he has not deleted me and still maintains communication, he will still always answer and chat to me if I call him but he always maintains his anger and that although he cares for me, he does not feel the same as he did anymore and does not wish to date me)? I use Facebook to see if he has been online to judge whether he is around or out with others. Deleting this would remove all ties which I really don’t feel able to do… x
hurting still
October 6, 2014 at 11:01 pm
………..I think your website is extremely insightful. I appreciate you do answer and as it is late at night here and I am still hurting after the nastiest break up of my life I need your help, an answer to make me understand better.
Where do I start, my ex broke up with me 5 weeks. We were planning to live together few more months till we could go back to our lives. Long story short, first two weeks after he dumped me he was supportive and around, then he started to go out every night and have sleep overs. I was so blind in love with him I saw nothing wrong just hurting that he was not back at home.
This is a relationship I gave my all in….unfortunately… He ripped my chest by saying that the reason of he breaking up with me was that i am not the woman of his dreams and he does not want a long term thing in his life and i DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND HE cannot tell me that he loves me but he cares a LOT about me and he wants us to be friends very much.
Last week my life took a different turn. When we broke up and decided to live a bit longer together we also established we do not date other ppl, we even had causal sex few times till he became stone cold to me and unavailable. 3 weeks ago when his going out went even more frequent.
I started to suspect he already has a rebound relationship. A monster woke up in me. His phone had a lock, I could check nothing. Last week with a bit if luck I saw by accident few romantic messages popping up on his screen. I froze with pain. Here was this guy whom I asked twice if he dates and he always said no and lied to me about the ppl he was seeing.
3 days later I got “luckier again” and saw sexual messages she was desperately sending to him. I have to mention that me and my ex were fabulous lover in the past and I never had such a passionate man for me in my life while we were dating. We were compatible on a lot of levels hence i COULD HARDLY BELIEVE that the same man that worshiped my body could do this to me and lie.
Second day I had enough and unexpectedly and suddenly I kicked him out of my house, just like in the beyonce video ” Irreplaceable”
He was in utter state of shock that I could do that to him. He even left things behind pretending they dont fit in the car to come pick them days later. Of course I took my keys back from him with no words of good bye as cold as i could. His things are luckily in an outside garage I can always leave open and me not be home under no circumstance once he comes back to pick them.
I suffered like crazy, we talk about just 2 days ago. All so recent. Second day he texted me. I applied the NC rule since the moment i grabbed my keys from his hands. 2 days on the road and I got plenty texts from him in which he asks permission to call me then he said he is worrying for my well being etc…
All his attempts ignored by me.
I was about to feel better and actually tomorrow I am about to go to drink a coffee with a new guy just to forget my dismay and madness…. but late in the night I opened my e-mail and here there was him reaching me also via e-mail. He has never in his life sent me an e-mail about matters of the heart till now.
I will quote it below…and here is where i need you to decode what the hell does he mean? And how come he has this new woman in his life and he still gets active to contact me. I plan to apply the NC mainly to heal my heart,I think me wanting him back at this point would mean suicide. He could always play me the second time around badly.
Anyway here it is his e-mail I am waiting a feedback from you, have mercy on this broken hearted lady. 🙂
“Hi,
I think you have blocked me on whatsapp and I do not blame you at all. I do not intend to defend what I did but I do want to reiterate that I never cheated on you whilst we were still in a committed relationship. I did however conceal developments from you in order to not hurt you and, selfishishly, to have our living arrangements less complicated. In the end I ended up hurting you even more and, trust me, I feel awful for that because you are an amazing woman with all the right qualities and a heart that is truly special.
You didn’t do anything wrong. You deserve to be extremely happy and you will be. I have no doubt about that.
Although Saturday was extremely abrupt and unexpected I respect the decision and think it was for the best.
For me our relationship was very special, with lots of amazing memories and I wouldn’t change anything except the ending. I hope in time we can be friends but I know the wounds are too open right now. But I feel honoured to have shared your life, you give everything and are extremely caring and attentive. I failed many times and hope to learn from it, please don’t hate me. I will never hate you, I have absolutely no reason to.
My family also think a lot of you, especially my daughter. Please don’t lose faith in yourself and what you can offer. This is not meant to sound patronising in any way.
Hope to speak soon”
this is what he told me……what the hell does it mean with he wants to be friends 🙂 He gives me so much attention now for a guy whom I didn’t not make happy like he told me last week :S
admin
October 7, 2014 at 1:48 pm
I think he seems to be all over the place.
Let me ask you though, taking his words out of the equation what do his actions say?
hurting still
October 8, 2014 at 5:06 pm
well…… since I kicked him our of the house he texts me at least once per day he pretends he wants to now if I am ok and asks me about my job, all generic questions. Also few times he asked me if I wanna talk.
All I did so far was to ignore him.
I am trying to get stronger by the day.
I kept thinking back I still believe he dumped me for this new person in his life or they started their affair just before our break up, which is technically cheating. Isn’t it? 🙁
admin
October 9, 2014 at 1:35 pm
No that IS cheating if they did that…
serena
October 6, 2014 at 5:29 pm
My ex recently broke up with me.we where together for a year,his reason was because we always argued and we weren’t compatible for each other. He says he want us to be nothing more then for us to be friends forever we still talk as friends . also I am 3months pregnant with his baby do you think we still have a chance or should i just give up ? What should I do ??
admin
October 7, 2014 at 1:36 pm
He knows about the baby right?