What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Just Wants To Be Friends- Get Out Of The Friend Zone

1,563 thoughts on “The Friend Zone: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Just Wants To Be Friends”

Katherine

December 1, 2013 at 1:30 am

Hi Chris,
So I was in a relationship for almost 4 years. He broke up with me because of previous problems we kept having over over again. Plus he got jealous of a guy in my class. Before reading this, I broke the NC rule. We broke up a Saturday evening, I texted him and emailed him and he replied. Then I did it again the following Thursday and he acted like nothing was wrong, but he told me he wanted to be friends and needed to be alone. So I broke all communication for 3 weeks, and it was so difficult. I kept finding out that he was asking about me through mutual friends and my family. However, long before the breakup I had boughten some concert tickets. So I decided to drop off the tickets at his house and with a small note saying here are the tickets, have fun, god bless you. He replied through email and he thanked me and he blessed me as well wishing me a happy thanksgiving. I didn’t reply back. But yesterday he emailed blame saying if I’d be interested in being friends, and I replied saying that if he wanted to talk about it , to do it face to face. Then he asks what else I wanted to talk about. What do I do?

admin

December 1, 2013 at 6:31 pm

Well, you might want to do a limited contact rule… since you kind of replied to that email..
katherine

December 1, 2013 at 9:47 pm

what do you mean by limited contact rule?
admin

December 2, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Do you not know what the limited contact rule is?

It’s like limited contact but you can talk to him only if he initiates communication but you can’t talk to him too long.

Lisa

November 29, 2013 at 2:05 am

i understand give it time, but is it a rebound relationship if has liked her for maybe 4 months? and now that they’re alone in hong kong they do sexual stuff? is it lust , love or rebound??

he waited with me because i was his first so he doesnt need to wait but they rushed into it. isn’t that bad if you rush into stuff sexually despite liking each other a lot?

whats your opinion and advice. please i need more than one sentence 🙁

admin

November 30, 2013 at 4:06 am

Check this out: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-know-if-your-ex-boyfriend-is-in-a-rebound-relationship-how-long-will-it-last/

tango

November 29, 2013 at 1:04 am

Hi Chris. I am French and apologize for my english which is not fluent. I hope you will understand my story and my question.
I met my ex “boyfriend” in January this year and we have been together for only 4 months. When I met him he did not tell me that he was already engaged in a relationship with another girl. This relationship was not going very well, they had broken up several times, but it was not the better context to begin a new relationship with him.
He asked me to be patient, so I tried to be, but when I was taking some distance, he consistently came back to me… Sometimes he told me that he would take care of me, that every thing was so simple with me … and sometimes he was emotionally screwed up , saying that he could not sleep anymore, … I really did not know how to handle the situation and tried to do what I could to help him. He finally told me he had broken up with her so we planned a WE , but the day before he cancelled, telling me he was not sure to do the right thing.
After that I did not answer to his phone calls anymore, I let some times go. He begun a therapy, so I accepted to see him again. Finally the therapist advised him to stop the both relationship in order to take the time necessary to find himself and know what he wanted to do. I accepted…. but sometimes later I heard that he was back with the other girl.
I was really disappointed and decided to leave him alone and find s.o. else.
During the summer, we met sometimes : we practise the same sports and I did not change my habits…and at that time I noticed that he was still looking at me quite often. He also called me from time to time, too long phone calls I am afraid, during which he explained to me how much he was changing personally and so on. Sometimes I also texted him …
We used to have some periods of time without any contact but honestly I am not sure that we have been 30 days without contact…
I also have to say that , even if I met other men during that period, I was still thinking to him and hoping for a change and a come back…
Finally, after a date in September where I tried to be with him again and he refused, he called and told me that our relationship was a mistake, that it was past , and he suggested to me to forget him.
After that talk I felt very angry against him and me also. Again I let some time go and sent him an email, in which I explained my disappointment and how I had lived these months.
He answered with a nice Email, in which he was telling me that he had the same good feeling towards me at the beginning but that he thought he was a danger for other people, and he needed to take care of himself before anything else.
Again I took some distance , and again we met accidentally , and we begun step by step to see each other, do sport together again, to text each other, and he calls me quite often too. The relationship is not alway easy because I don’t want to be at his disposal like I was actually, and I feel sometimes angry. But most of the time we have a good time together when we meet
I try to apply your advice regarding texting, and attitude….BUT I don’t always succeed to end the conversation first, and more over, I don’t always control my emotions…. Sometimes I feel that he is not attracted by me as he was …and he did not proposed me a date in the evening yet.
Nevertheless I have to say that he send kind messages to me (sometimes) and that he helps me when he can with small problems…Sometimes he is very close physically and sometimes not. He also seems to be a bit jealous when I am with other men (friends). A friend of mine told me that he is single now.
Sometimes he is really kind, even if he tells me that a man should not be too kind towards women , that he has to take care of himself, that he may be selfish and doesn’t mind…. and sometimes he is quite rude : he does not want any help from me, etc.
I would like to have your point of view. I don’t want to be friend zoned… what would you suggest to help the situation to progress ? what would you suggest to help me better control my feelings ? do I have a chance to renew attraction and to make him feel more interested by me ?
thank you so much.

admin

November 29, 2013 at 7:20 pm

Are you doing anything to make him chase you?
Tango

December 2, 2013 at 12:17 am

Hello Chris, thank you for your answer.
Here is what I did To make him chase me ( I made a review of my texts To him over the last month)
– engage funny text conversations
– do not answer some of his texts To me and not always answer immediately
– sometimes give him short answers
– not answer to all of his phone calls
– end the phone calls first

Sometimes it works, but sometimes it does not. I noticed that he usually answers when I am texting him, but he often gives only one answer, either a short or a long one, and then stops, which makes it difficult for me to control the end of the conversation.
When I don’t get any answer I leave it and try again the day after or a few days later.

But I don’t know if I should better wait a little more before I contact him again ?
I think the conversations are too short to allow me to establish a good rapport.
Last Time we met, we have had an argument, and I know that I am back to zero, because he hardly answers To my texts since then.
Thank you in advance for your advice
admin

December 2, 2013 at 6:56 pm

Ok, have you engaged him in any emotional conversations that can get him emotionally invested?
tango

December 2, 2013 at 10:47 pm

Yes, sometimes.
He sent me some kind messages when I got a surgical operation recently. He proposed to pick me up at the hospital if I needed.
He also answered with enthusiasm when I informed him that I got a big contract with one of my clients.
What I did not do yet is reminding him of good moments spent together.
Excuse me Chris, but it’s not perfectly clear for me if I should continue this way, or should I rather take a break ?

Thank you
admin

December 3, 2013 at 7:37 pm

Definitely find a way to work those good moments in !
tango

December 3, 2013 at 9:48 pm

Ok, Chris, thank you for your advice.
I will try it !
tango

December 12, 2013 at 10:37 pm

hello Chris,
I ‘d like to give you some news. Unfortunately I don’t succeed in putting the situation under control. The last time we met, a harmless conversation turned bad : he criticized my profession , and though he told me that there was “nothing personal”, I got the impression that he was trying to upset me.
I managed to keep calm but he was angry.
I left friendly but then I preferred not to get in touch with him during a week, and he did not contact me either.
I don’t understand this behavior. What is your opinion about it, please ? And I am interested in any ideas about the ways I should handle the situation. Thank you.
admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Well, he is being a jerk then.

Plain and simple!
tango

January 12, 2014 at 2:31 pm

I’d like to add sthg. Friday he texted me : are you upset ? I need some piece of advice.
I answered the day after : not upset, but bored.
In the afternoon, I went climbing indoor with a friend and he was there, alone, and he began to climb with us, as usual. I am not proud of it , but I did not pay attention to him as I usually do, being playful , but talking and joking with my friend quite as if he was not there. Some time later, he left, after telling me that he would leave us “between girls”, because he had nothing to say and thought his place was not there. He looked unhappy so I gave him a little kiss (on the cheek of course), then he left (seemed to feel better after that).

I don’t like to be hard on someone or rude like that and I don’t think it is the right thing to do…
but I did it.
His message about his fear to be misunderstood when he was kind to me came just after a climbing session where we really had a good time together. Maybe he tried to be true and sincere to me but I rejected it.

Well, I also read your post about “why your ex acts like a jerk”…. and it was useful.
I assume that he sometimes acted like a jerk to push me back.

It is hard for me to admit that he is not attracted by me as he used to be.

Then Chris, I am wandering : when a man says that he has moved forward, is it a final decision ?
Should I accept him behaving like we were friends ? Or is it still possible to recreate an attraction ?
thank you (and sorry for the language)
tango

January 10, 2014 at 5:58 pm

Hello Chris, thank you for your comments.
Some news : he called me recently to explain that he still felt some kindness for me but was sometimes afraid that this kindness towards me could be misinterpreted. Again … that he had moved forward… had met someone else during christmas time…
he tried to call me many times these days, and texted me that he would try to be kind with me , and sincere , that he had recovered his balance during 2013, and eventually he thanked me for everything.
In the meantime we texted quite often together, and climbed also together , had nice time.
I did not return his phone calls, and did not text him either. I feel confused.
Actually I don’t know what to say to him, I feel like everything has been already said.
I hope it ‘s clear ?

Thank you in advance.
Tango

December 2, 2013 at 10:20 am

Do you think it would Be worthwhile doing a 30 days NC period now?
Thanks
admin

December 2, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Yes I think it would.

Caitlin

November 28, 2013 at 8:41 am

Hi Chris,

Amazing website. I love it so much. So yeah here’s my situation. I apologize for this being so long. I’ve had a hard few months. FYI we’re both young and I was his first everything, so he’s inexperienced a ton.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me because he said he didn’t love me anymore, and I was initially really sad. He was my best friend before and during our relationship. I thought I had lost the most important thing in my life. But then I made a big transformation and was able to not awkwardly hang out with him and my other best friend. The boys and I had a hangout that was reminiscent of months ago pre-relationship.

I was walking home with my ex and he invited me into his apartment. We talked for a while and hung out, but eventually things got heated and he kissed me. Later we made out. I asked him if he really didn’t love me anymore, and he said that he was attracted to me and that his love was the same as it was pre-relationship.

This led into a talk about what would happen. We eventually came to the agreement that we would both pursue other people, remain really good friends, but since we both like it, we would do stuff still. The thing is, the “stuff” we do is not like normal hooking up. It’s like how we were when we were dating. We’ll sometimes lie there and talk, watch tv; you wouldn’t do that with a normal FWB. My ex boyfriend has hooked up with people before, and that was a huge obstacle we got over. The way we act inside his apartment is like we were when we were a couple.

I asked him that night it started if he would ever consider going out with me again and he said never, but he would gladly give advice if I needed it for my next one. He’s planning to ask out another girl and hook up with another one. I’m in college so I can do the same if I wanted to. Right now I have the relationship of him before we started dating, combined with the couply “stuff” we do in bed in secret. I’m not the first person he texts, but he’s comfortable texting me. I’m not the first person he seeks out to socialize with when in a group, but we still get along well.

The thing is though, I’ve been through a lot more relationships than his one, and I know it sounds stupid, but I have this feeling inside of me that it can’t be over because he’s made too big an impact on my life. My mistakes messed it up and I lost it forever right now, but we get along very well like before we dated, and I know I want him in my life forever. We’re so similar so he’s probably going to follow me to college.

Basically, if all goes well and ideally the girl he plans to ask out doesn’t work out, when (if at all) should I reveal I still have feelings for him? What he doesn’t realize is that how he acts towards me is still love in secret, and I can see him making a conscious effort to make it look like we’re not dating. I know I want him back, because I’m a completely different person now because of how horrible the breakup was, and I know I’d be able to be a good girlfriend, but I also know that it’ll take A LOT of time.

Sorry this is so long 🙁 🙁

admin

November 29, 2013 at 1:40 am

Thanks!

I am worried because you say you are a different person because of the breakup.. What do you mean by that?
Caitlin

November 29, 2013 at 7:43 am

I’m aware of every single mistake I made. I never want to make them again. I’m honest with my feelings now. Not being honest with them is what ruined them. That was the cause of the chain reaction.

Isabel

November 26, 2013 at 12:39 pm

I’ve been acting insecure and jealous. My bf has now said he’s had enough and can’t do the conflict relationship anymore. I’ve been friend-zoned. And he’s adamant he’s not going to try again. He’s still contact. I’m afraid the NC would make him think I’m just sulking and being childish. What do I do?? Btw, I am guilty of all the typical things one does after a breakup. Eeep! Although I’ve not contacted the parents…. yet! lol
Megan

November 26, 2013 at 2:09 am

So my bf of almost five years broke it off. He says he doesn’t want the responsibility of a relationship and wants to be alone … only he texts, facebooks, and tweets with girls he claims are friends. We agreed to try to be friends, but the fact that he’s in contact with this other girls infuriates me. I’m all for No Contact. I think it will be good for me to be away from something so maddening, and might get things with him back on track. How do I initiate this No Contact suggestion? Out of nowhere is ok? Texting with us so far has been minimal, but it’s only been a few days. I was thinking of saying this:

I’ve given it some thought and I have to turn down your offer to be just friends. Right now I want more for us and for now friends won’t work. I need some time to think about everything.

Yes? No? Or do I need to make it seem like I’m planning to never speak to him again.

Thanks for your help. For many reasons (family and religion mostly), our relationship was basically a secret. Consequently I can’t really turn to my friends or family for advice, so I feel very alone and helpless, trying to get through this on my own.

admin

November 26, 2013 at 7:46 pm

Just go right into it. Don’t giv ehim any warning.
Jasmine

December 29, 2013 at 2:15 am

Thank you. I knew for my own mental health I needed NC as soon as he dropped the hammer. It has been a month and he still contacts me everyday one way or another, if even to just say hi. I am still in agony and I pretend everything is fine. I KNOW I have to have NC just for my own sanity to stop obsessing over him and gear my thoughts back to ME. I didn’t know how to go about it now that it has been over a month. He knows it has.is a possibility I will stop contact. he asked me to give him warning if I felt the need to do so. Thank you for the clarification – I WILL NOT WARN HIM. He didn’t warn me he was going to dump me. He even said if I decided not to talk to him he would probably ping me in a week. One of two things will happen, he will either miss me so much and want me back or I will be able to move on. I tried to be his friend, it is too painful and I feel like I am a fool. Thank you.

Sexycat

November 24, 2013 at 7:24 pm

So, we had a three year relationship and he ended it because he wasn’t feeling it anymore and just wanted to be single. We lived together too. The only times we’ve been hanging out is to get things switched over to my name (utilities) and he always compliments me when he sees me. This last time we hung out I felt more shoved into the friendzone because he asked why I never hang out with his mom anymore. He went on to say, “we are friends. Why can’t you and my mom be?” He also waited three days before he texted me and asked how the utilitie bill went and kept things very short. I ended the convo first. He said he had a lot of fun the other night too. Am I friend zoned for sure or can I get him to like me again?

admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:12 pm

I think you can get him to like you again BUT it obviously isn’t going to be easy.
Sexycat

November 26, 2013 at 4:37 am

Should I do NC for a while?
admin

November 26, 2013 at 8:01 pm

Yup

Sherrell

November 23, 2013 at 9:05 pm

Hi Chris. Me and this guy used to like each other but we never dated because we are in 2 different states. I will actually be moving to his state in a few weeks to attend college. We stopped talking to each other back in October because we had a falling out because of the long distance. It’s almost been 1 month since we’ve talked and one of our mutual friends just told me yesterday that he has been asking about me and he wants to try and be friends. The no contact rule actually worked! But what should I do now? I still have feelings for him and he’s in a relationship (which he jumped into pretty quickly after we stopped talking.) He also told my friend that he felt guilty for hurting me and he thinks that I hate him, but he wants to try and be friends. I don’t think I can handle that, especially since he’s moved on. Should I go for it, or continue the no contact?

admin

November 24, 2013 at 6:59 pm

I would say continue the NC.

Dehlia

November 23, 2013 at 6:46 am

Hi Chris! I’m on my 16th day of NC. He broke up with me after 3 years. He just sent me just to see if my family back inthe Philippines were all safe from the bad storm, he sound polite and neutral. Can I reply, can i break NC and say thanks?

admin

November 23, 2013 at 8:09 pm

16 days WOOT WOOT!

No don’t break it.
Dehlia

November 23, 2013 at 6:49 am

I live in the states too but my family is the Philippines

Felicity

November 22, 2013 at 9:58 pm

My boyfriend and I ended it because he found me flirting with another guy I user to see last year. I wasn’t flirting with intent at all. Have zero contact with this guy and now I feel as if everything is ruined. My boyfriend only wants to keep me as his best friend (we have been best friends for years prior to a relationship). Says I have lost his trust. We have been in contact but it still seems volatile. I can’t do NC for now as my birthday is within a week and I so deeply wanted him a part of that. How do I fix things? I don’t want it to be awkward at my birthday and I am having a hard time accepting that it’s over.

admin

November 23, 2013 at 7:18 pm

Are you saying you want to fix things before your birthday?

Jessie D

November 22, 2013 at 5:42 pm

Ok so I’ve been through honestly all the pages on this site I am determined to get him back so here’s my story. He broke up with me in July stating he didn’t feel in love anymore. He had sex with another girl a week later but then she moved away but they are still flirting on text. Important to mention that he left me for another girl back in October 2012 but we got back together. So I did the NC for all August and he texted me to wish me happy back to school. We started texting again finally met and made out before he told me he was seeing this other girl. We had sex during the time he was seeing this other girl but we fought a lot. Then he stopped seeing this girl in mid October and we starting hanging out and oh have sex. So it’s been two weeks since we’ve last had sex, we text everyday and he often used flirty terms. Now yesterday he tells me he just wants us to be friend that he still has feelings for me but doesn’t love me as a lover. He says he misses meeting new people and going on first dates so basically he just wants to meet new people. He’s having job problems and I’m supporting him the best I can and he told me he didn’t want us to stop texting. I still love him but am telling him I don’t. So what should I do. NC again?

admin

November 23, 2013 at 6:51 pm

All the pages.. Really?

I say back into NC for maybe 15 days. Hve you used the texts I recommend?
Jessie D

November 24, 2013 at 7:16 pm

Some but then he starts flirting and I just fall in the trap and we start texting non stop. He told me he didn’t want us to text less… Then again he’s clear he doesn’t love me anymore but the way he acts sometimes around me like he wants me to want him even more.
admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Well… maybe you should last longer this time around and hit the right buttons through texting him.

Eri

November 22, 2013 at 7:35 am

Hi Chris, hope you are doing great!
So my ex wants us to be friends and, and we talk almost everyday even for a little bit..but some friends told me that you can never get back together after being friends and others told me that we will never be friends and we’ll always have feelings for each other ( which is exactly what i want)
What scares me is that he might be just friends although he calls and he is so sweet and friendly but he tells me that he wants to leave the country ( i will be left behind) and that’s pressuring me because i want to get him back and he only sees me as a friend
Which is true?..i mean isn’t there a bigger chance in him changing his mind if we became friends?..and i already agreed in being friends so what should i do?

admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:59 pm

Well being friends is good but there is also the friend zone you have to worry about….

I guess in the end its all up to you. What do you think gives you the best chance?
Eri

November 23, 2013 at 1:56 am

I don’t know, i actually don’t know what i’m doing or where i’m standing but we talk almost everyday!..we don’t talk about serious stuff but we talk! He’s not a good texter but he texts me and he’s making an effort to contact me first and he sometimes calls and i always sound fun and cheerful and positive and share and talk about the stuff we like and when we talk he’s so nice and sweet But yet i feel we’re a little distant, like he never talks about family, i know this will sound stupid and like a psycho chick but he took a week off of work and he didn’t tell me which is insignificant i know but i don’t know maybe i just worry about the little details.
We’re a little bit stuck in the friends with benefits zone and i know it’s bad but we were each other’s first time and he brings up good memories from the things we physically did when we were in the relationship and we both don’t just go around sleep with ppl unless it means something! We talked about working on our friendship first but we sometimes slip..and believe me we talked that we’re not ready for that yet! And i will do my best to stop it!
After reading what i just wrote to you i feel like i’m being pushed in the friend zone me..don’t you think? I sometimes get the feeling that he’s not over me..what do u think are my best chances and what do u think i should do?
admin

November 23, 2013 at 7:40 pm

Unforutnately it does look that way.

You relaly need to focus on getting positive responses to your more romantic messages.
Eri

November 26, 2013 at 7:15 pm

I suck at flirting!..i don’t know how to do it! to get any romantic response from him!
And another thing, once i read a post that was similar to his character and in the end of the post it says hug your friend..so i sent it to him and told him that is totally you, remind me to give you a hug next time i see u and he told me that he will claim it when he sees me.
Also when i tell him about plans to do when i see him he seems excited and he told me that we will hopefully meet soon!
Is that any good?
admin

November 27, 2013 at 7:06 pm

You suck at flirting? Really?

Yes its good that he is getting excited.
Eri

November 28, 2013 at 9:22 pm

Yes!!..i suck!! Big fat loser when it comes to flirting!..i don’t know what should be said, when or how!..i’m just helpless when it comes to flirting! And i get so shy!
admin

November 29, 2013 at 2:13 am

Noo..

You just need practice. I am shy too don’t worry but I can flirt just as good as anyone else. It’s possible.
Eri

November 23, 2013 at 2:10 am

And when i say friends with benefits i don’t mean actual physical contact..we haven’t actually met only once since our breakup and it was an outing with big bunch of people.
admin

November 23, 2013 at 7:37 pm

FWB automatically means that you have physical contact…

Caroline Brady

November 20, 2013 at 7:35 pm

Hi!
So my boyfriend broke up with me a little while ago, and we have not had full contact for about 2 weeks. We broke up at the beginning of October, but we saw eachother and sorta talked up until two weeks ago.

I was wondering, does he still think about me? Because I know I think about him all the time.

Thanks for answering my question,
Caroline

admin

November 21, 2013 at 6:08 pm

I think he does.
Caroline Brady

November 25, 2013 at 11:35 pm

Ok, so another thing. The other night my ex had a party for our soccer team (I’m in 10th grade), but only like 5 people showed up and I was one of them. He text me and asked me if I was going and I told him yes. So we ended up playing soccer at night in the backyard and it was fun and so we got some movies and then my friend asked if me and the other girls wanted to have a sleepover at her house so we all said ya. She also invited my ex to come hang out and watch the movies.

So he ended up sleeping over. There was no realationship between anyone at the party with him, everyone almost treated him as one of the girls.

Me and my friend ended up sleeping on the floor, and so did he. He was right across from me. It wasn’t awkward though because him and me and the other girl talked about just stuff all night. An he fell asleep and we tried to play pranks on him. ( I know how girly right)

And my friend was like “do you still like him”, and I was like ya, he’s still nice and cute and stuff.

So my friend was like let’s do something to him and I was like ok” and I touched him and he was like you know I can hear everything. And it wasn’t really awk after that but ya know.

I don’t really see him at school but was turning around and I know he looked at me but he was with his other friends and didn’t come say hi.

We also had a pillow fight jus the two of us because I wanted the big pink pillow so yea.

What do you make of all this…..
Is it possible that we can get back together in the future, near or far?
admin

November 26, 2013 at 7:28 pm

Sure it is!

But first… Pillow fight?

Hahhahahahaah.

Are you doing NC?
Caroline Brady

November 27, 2013 at 4:41 am

I know right pillow fight lol.

And yes I have not tried to contact him but he has like my Instagram pics,texted to know info about the party ya know. And today I was walking out to the bus and we happened to cross paths.

Usually before he would have just either ignored me or done a fake smile but he looked at me and was like “Hi Caroline.” With a cuteish nice smile… Like what… 2 weeks ago it seemed like he didn’t care if I was alive, now he is saying hi and being nice.

What does that mean? Lol thanks
admin

November 27, 2013 at 8:03 pm

Maybe he is starting to remember the good times..
Caroline Brady

November 30, 2013 at 3:56 am

So what should I do? I want to flirt with him without coming on too strong.
Thanks
Caroline

P.s.- you’re website is amazing, truly a life saver lol
admin

November 30, 2013 at 5:11 am

Hmm… have you read this article: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-making-your-ex-boyfriend-love-you-again/
Caroline Brady

December 3, 2013 at 8:21 pm

The link you posted was helpful but the problem is I never see him. The last time we talked was the sleepover. I see him in the hallway very rarely but we don’t talk.

Today he walked by my class and The door was open and he leaned in and yelled my friends name (my friend is a boy and he was sitting right next to me) and he lives of his foot was talking about his new shoes briefly through the doorway. He didn’t acknowledge or look at me I don’t know if he knew I was there.

We usually Snapchat back-and-forth and stuff and I Snapchat him that today’s ago and he opened it but he didn’t reply your part of the people legacy and I also asked him about if he was doing the sports thing that a bunch of people I know were doing ( I asked last night though) and he didn’t reply
Caroline Brady

December 6, 2013 at 9:56 pm

Me askin him. But also my friend asked him if he would go out with me again and he said not till next year.

What does that even mean? We did agree to be friends and get to know eachother better so does he want us to do that and be good friends now?

And ps thanks so much for your advice
admin

December 7, 2013 at 7:38 pm

He may..
Caroline Brady

December 5, 2013 at 10:58 pm

But I don’t know if he likes me and wants to hang out with me so I feel weird asking to meet up all the time.
admin

December 6, 2013 at 7:39 pm

Asking him or him asking you?
admin

December 5, 2013 at 12:35 am

Well, put yourself in a position where you both agree to see eachother then I suppose haha.

Jas

November 20, 2013 at 10:59 am

Hi Chris,

I left a comment previously at the other section of your website and am in my second trial of NC. Failed NC the first time round after 2 weeks when my ex boyfriend texted me. I replied asking him not to contact me again and he really block me off. I panicked and texted him again saying I said everything in a fit of anger. He replied saying that he just wants to be friends.

I went into NC again for the second time now and is 1 week into it. He texted me random stuffs and I didnt reply. His last text to me was: “So should I just leave you alone?” I didnt reply too.

I don’t know if I did the right thing not to reply at all. What if he really stop contacting me for good? What’s your opinion, Chris? Continue with NC till 30 days?

admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:58 pm

Yup but really focus on YOU and not him ok.

Nic

November 17, 2013 at 9:22 pm

My ex said that he still loves me and has feelings for me but that we should only be friends ‘right now’… but if we date in the future that’d ‘be awesome’. Did the whole needy/desperate bit. Almost every mistake you talked about in the mistake section but we’re still ‘good friends’. He likes to hangout and STILL has feelings for me and still acts like we’re dating and we hook up sometimes… is he just playing me? Trying to have his cake and eat it too? I moved back to my home (thousands of miles away) for a few months to figure stuff out (about him and lots of other stuff). And I decided to do the 30 day NC thing.. Do you think that will help? Or is he just a dickhead who wants me for companionship and sex but no commitment?

admin

November 18, 2013 at 5:56 pm

Well look at his actions and not his words. What are his actions telling you?

JJ

November 16, 2013 at 10:12 am

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, he said he still loves me but can’t do it anymore. Our relationship felt more like a friendship he said and that he’s confused. I was always ver y jealous and complain alot, and I was slow with almost everything. I often said that I would work on that, but I didn”t take it as serious as I should have. I begged him to give me one more chance, but he couldn’t do it anymore. I think he made his desision last week, and that he had time to accept the fact. He said it was a bit boring between us because we always did the same, that he lost the spark and didn’t have much hope for our future togther. I try not to talk to him but I’m scared that he pushes his feelings away and doesn’t change his mind. I saw in his face that he was trying to forget me when I hugged him etc. Do you think he can change his mind and want me back? It’s my birthday in 3 weeks and I really want him to be a part of it. What should I do now? He sometimes text me (more like a friend). I so scared, he really is everything I want in a man and I don’t want to lose him :”( (he’s 20, I’m 18, we dated for 2 years and 11 months, we wanted to get married)

admin

November 16, 2013 at 10:10 pm

What have you tried so far? NC?

Cammy flowers

November 14, 2013 at 11:45 pm

My ex and i broke up a few moths ago we’ve argued a cursed eachother out after the breakup was over. Now we are to a point where we are talking and being nice to each other, then one day i almost go into some trouble and he helped me out and i didn’t even ask for his help. I was very upset about the situation and that night he texted and said get some sleep ill call you tomorrow. Every since that night we had been video chatting every day talking about classes we are taking and our families and other things, another thing that surprised my was the he asked if he could meet my mom. He calls me things like beautiful and pretty but yet we are just friends. He calls almost every night . Moths ago he didnt even have any intrest in talking to me, we have be came good friends and when i see him in public he still gives me the same look the he did when we were together. But a couple days ago he told me about this girl he liked and then a few days later they started dating, but the relationship looks sad he doesnt even hold her hand , but he used to hold mine all the time. I told my bestfriend how i felt about it and he asked me if i was ok about them dating… Why would he care?

admin

November 15, 2013 at 6:08 pm

Maybe the new girl is just a rebound. What do you think?
Cammy flowers

November 15, 2013 at 9:54 pm

Well i though rebounds were just if the dated right after the breakup?
admin

November 16, 2013 at 8:54 pm

Usually they are. You can read about it here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-know-if-your-ex-boyfriend-is-in-a-rebound-relationship-how-long-will-it-last/

sl

November 12, 2013 at 3:38 am

hey my ex and i broke up but he’s going overseas in another two weeks usually when he’s with his parents i cant contact him cause his parents don’t approve of the relationship. he’ll be away for two weeks should i start from today till he goes off on the 29th and i think he’s spending christmas overseas. how do i go about the no contact period especially when he’s overseas and uncontactable?

admin

November 12, 2013 at 7:15 pm

UGH that just annoys me when parents get in the middle of a relationship like that. I guess you are just going to have to wait until he becomes contactable.

Tina

November 11, 2013 at 8:33 am

So I was dating a friend for umm only 4 months but before that as what i said we we’re friends not close though but yeah we knew each other, we sometimes hangout and stuff untill we became close.. untill we started dating.. And he was the one who pulled out. I know at some point i did something wrong but it wasnt totally my fault because he kind of lied to me. So 5 days after he said we were done i contacted him just to ask kind of let me know if it was really official. And he said yes and we’re better off friends and no more than that. After he said that and made it clear, i unfriended him in face book, deleted his number and all never contacted him or even talked to him when we supported an event (about 2 weeks of NC), but i noticed that he was asking for my attention. I would catch him looking at me he would walk right infront of me or pass me. On the 3rd night of the event he texted. He called me “boss” which he usually does if he’s asking for my attention, he just asked me if i was still up. He texted me 2x that night and i didn’t replied. After 3 weeks of NC i went to our mutual friend’s house which was also his neighbor we we’re singing and having fun, that time our mutual friend was outside and she saw him walking home, he also heard the music so he kind of invited him self in then he saw me, he said like oh youre here and tapped my knee, then he sat beside me (near me), still i ignored him, he started singing love songs and says he dedicates it to me which really annoyed me. Then i stood up, drank water and sat at the other chair, then he said something like he hopes we’re okay and that i would stop ignoring him, he was asking me to smile for him. But still i ignored him as if he didn’t even existed. Now he really got me confused if he wants us still to be just friends or more than that. Because im sure i don’t want him to be my friend. I dont think its fair. His birthday is very near and its passed the 30 day NC im not sure if im gonna greet him through text or not. And i kind of do want him back. I just dunno how to start things right.

admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Texting is usually the best way to go about these things tbh. So, I think you should not be afraid to send a text.

lovelast

November 8, 2013 at 9:35 am

hey there,

I need help! my ex and i dated for 6 months and he broke up with me about 1 month ago, one of the main reason is because i am too demanding. I admitted my fault and wanted to work on it. he did not want to be in relationship anymore and determined to break up with me. but he still say he wants to be friend. One time I texted him and asked if we have any chance, he said he is with someone else now and there is no chance for us. I was upset when I 1st knew about him dating another woman when he just broke up with me for only less than a month. However, I slowly accepted the fact and let him go. I never asked him who she is or how they meet. Later, I also told him that I wish him happiness with the girl that he is dating as I want to let go of the past. After letting him go and slowly recover and being happy. 2 weeks past, there is no contact between me and him as I can finally accept and want to be happy again. But things did not just end there. I went back from holiday and saw his email asking how i am doing. A day later I replied back and said Im doing well and happy with my life. He replied back mainly said hope me enjoy my travel. So here I am, totally confused again! =( I have not replied for him yet. I do not know what is the best to do. I still have feeling for him but what if he just want to be friend and I do not want to go through the pain again.
hope you can give me advice on this.

Thank you!

admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:02 pm

How long have you been in NC for?
lovelast

November 9, 2013 at 10:36 am

i think it is about 2-3 weeks since the time he told me he is dating another girl and there is no chance for us. So I dropped it from then.

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