1,563 thoughts on “The Friend Zone: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Just Wants To Be Friends”

1. 

   Alice

   October 22, 2016 at 12:50 pm

   As we got this “Seen” feature nowadays:
   During the nc, should an ex see that you’ve “seen” his messages or better pretend that you haven’t read them?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 23, 2016 at 2:45 pm

   Hi Alice,

   it’s better if you dont read them..

2. 

   Jess

   October 22, 2016 at 11:21 am

   Okay so my ex boyfriend cut things off about 3 weeks ago, I cried and plead for him to want to try and work things out but he said he was done with the relationship but he still wanted to be friends. We tried being friends but that led to us having sex a few times. However after we had sex, I never really heard from him at all. I always had to start the conversations and even then I barely got replies. So I told him just 2 days ago that I was done with it all. So now I’ve only just started the no contact rule, he messaged me yesterday but I haven’t responded. I guess I just want to know if the odds are in my favour? and if I’m doing things right and how I can get him back.

1. 

   Jess

   October 22, 2016 at 11:40 am

   Beginning**

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 23, 2016 at 2:39 pm

   Hi Jess,

   dont sleep with him again if you’re not really back together.. because you’ll end up being friends with benefits..there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but it’s better to do it than continue talking him for now

3. 

   Jess

   October 22, 2016 at 11:39 am

   I also forgot to mention that we broke up because he said he felt like he didn’t love me anymore, he still has feelings for me but he says there not as strong as they were in the begging.

3. 

   Fiona

   October 20, 2016 at 1:00 am

   My boyfriend and I were in a live in for about 8 months. Our parents approved of us and things were going fine until we had a fight and I was about to lose my job and go back to my home country as I was emotionally stressed. But we moved out due to that and I thought things will get better. He said we broke up and we need to take it slow from scratch living separately. I lost my job and was staying here just to make things fine between us. We were in contact after we moved out in mid August until mid sept but things were not the same, I was a Gnat and wanted to make it work so badly. That is when I came across your website. Followed the no contact for about 2 weeks. Everyday I used to get multiple calls and messages. One day after 2 weeks of NC he ended up at my doorstep with my fav food and told me everything I need to hear. He wanted to work this out badly and he wants to marry me. I was going on a trip with my to clear my head and he was in contact during this trip and was clearly jealous. Once I came back I met him he said he needs time to convince his parents and it will take time. Ever since we moved out..he says stuff but doesn’t show it in action. Now I am fed up as he says he needs time n he wants me to go back and be with my parents as I planned and he l talk to them once things are ok on his end. I am in nc again for the last 5 days and plan to be so until end of November and also move back to my country hoping that he will take things seriously as he has plans of coming down there in December. Not sure what else would make him regret his actions and the way he is taking me for granted. I need him to either take the next step or tell me it’s over. He does neither and keeps giving me hope ever since we moved out that he needs time as too many things happened but he says red flags all over. What do u suggest??

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 21, 2016 at 8:05 pm

   Hi Fiona,

   You need to stick to 30 days this time.. and then let’s see..

4. 

   B

   October 16, 2016 at 6:07 am

   Me and my boyfriend were dating for almost a year. Back in the summer he almost ended things due to him not having time for me. But I convinced him we should try to work this out. This past week he texted me acting like he wanted to hang out. Drove over here and ended things with me. I dont think it went that bad but I did cry a lot. He basically told me that he couldn’t do it anymore and he didn’t want to be in a relationship. He even cried at the end of the night before he left and Im not sure if those were real or not. But he told me I can’t be your boyfriend but I can be your friend. He knows I’ve been having a hard time with a couple things lately because Ive always been honest with him. So when he told me that I asked if he meant it and he said yes. I have texted him maybe like three times this week and he has been replying. But he hasn’t been the one to start the conversation. This was an important relationship to me because he was my first everything and the only one that mattered. I never opened up to anyone in the past and never cared about someone else so much in my life. I don’t want to lose him as a friend but I feel like I am. I want to ask him to go for a bite to eat but when is soon too soon?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 17, 2016 at 5:21 pm

   Hi B,

   so you’re ok with being friendzoned?

5. 

   jacqueline

   October 16, 2016 at 5:05 am

   Hi Lisa,

   I have been with my ex-boyfriend for 6 months. He broke up with me 1 month ago. He owns a coffeehouse and works every night at the shop. After he broke up with me I felt lost, I couldn’t accept the reality. I went to his shop on/off for the past 3 weeks or so, each time I went, he still talks to me, ask me if I’ve eaten – if not, join him to eat, afterwards he will offer to send me home (i will refuse), but he will insist.

   Sometimes, on the way home, I would mention about our relationship, I want to talk to him and see if there’s any room for discussion/solutions. But each time I did that, he will say to me: ‘I don’t want to talk about it’, ‘My decision is still the same’. And hurry me off to go home. The reasons we broke up was he doesn’t want to see me cry again, or thinks he will hurt me more in the future if we continued. Even when he think we can make things work, but when he thinks about the times I cried real badly, he thinks it’s impossible.

   I was so angry, confuse and I tried to ask him to reconsider and get back together, but all was useless. Each time I ask him what does he see me as now.. a friend or what.. he keeps quiet or don’t want to talk about it. Few days ago, I went to his shop again, brought him food and chat randomly at his shop. Later, again he offered to send me home. But this time, I was indecisive, as I knew he has been ill for the past 4 days, I did not want to trouble him. He keep giving me the option either he walk me out to get a cab or he send me home. Eventually, he went to his car, but I resisted. In the end, he said to me: I don’t know what you want, I’m going home, bye. He went home and never look back. I called him while still downstairs his home, I asked what does he treat me as, he said: As friend, I guess. I asked no more feelings for me? He said don’t know. I went home, dropped a text apologising for my indecisiveness and told him to get better and take care. He replied next day: I will, thanks for dropping by.

   What does I don’t know mean when he said it? Sigh. I’m so emotionally vex, and all I feel like doing is trash out with him, for I feel played and he never loved me before.

   Please advise/help me. With all the above said, what should I do next, what does he want and how do I get him back?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 17, 2016 at 5:01 pm

   Hi Jacqueline,
   I’m going to be brutally honest..
   it looks like you’re being needy and immature.. Why did you cry always? It’s like you’re not a gf but reaponsibility for him..

   And then you broke up, and instead of starting to heal independently, you still went there, looking like you’re chasing him..

   I think it’s time you stop doing that, because you’re going to damage your image more..

6. 

   what to do?

   October 14, 2016 at 12:23 am

   Hey there, okay so my boyfriend send me a text a couple of days ago saying how it he just wanted to be friends because he was going through some family problems. Of course I asked what the problem was or if I was the reason and he said no. I guess it’s something serious. This hurt me and still hurting me since it happened a couple of days ago. We were perfectly fine we didn’t even argue everything was good. We barely were going to be a month but we had been talking for two. I know for sure he didn’t loose feelings for me it’s just his family problems that he has going on. The thing is he didn’t want to tell me what was going on. I really like this guy and I haven’t felt like this for no one else just like I know he felt the same way. It’s just that he doesn’t want to have a girlfriend with all that’s going on in his life. All of this he said to me through a phone call so I tried to get him to meet up with me so we could talk about it in person. He didn’t want to because it was going to be hard for him. Of course I understand because it’s really hard for me to let him go. What made me feel worse was that he unfriended me from everything fb,ig,sc like if he didn’t want anything to do with me. I’ve had boyfriends before but not like this guy. I really do need some advice.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 14, 2016 at 3:40 pm

   Hi What to do,

   if he needs space,.give it.. If you keep pushing he might relate you as one of his stressors too..do you want try the advice above?

7. 

   hope or hopeless

   October 13, 2016 at 10:51 am

   hi there!! so my ex of a year & a half broke up with me saying that he was starting to lose feelings for me, it’s been about almost 4 months since then, we decided to still stay friends & communicate because we have the same set of friends & go to the same school, so I wasn’t able to complete no contact although I did try twice, I think we’re past that though, we fight occassionally over stupid things but we’re able to go out alone together & have a pretty good time (there are a few awkward moments but overall it’s not too badly spent on both ends & we try to make plans like that whenever possible) we invite each other to things etc, during our relationship we only fought bc of our strong differences, no cheating/jealous involved, we’re just very different from each other & he started to think our compatibility was low & we were fighting a lot before our break up, anyways I’m still in love with him & I want him back, it would be so convenient right now be together idk how to make him get feelings for me again & want to be more intimate with me like he used to when he first started to like me, is there any possible way for me to have a chance with him again? we’re trying to be friends in moderation but I still want to be with him, I know he’s not completely over me if that helps, how do I raise his feelings for me again instead of them lowering & lowering, please help 🙁

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 13, 2016 at 6:16 pm

   Hi Hope or hopeless,

   Ok, I’m going to give you an honest outsider’s perspective questions..

   Would you be attracted to somebody that you kept fighting with?

   And if you kept breaking the no contact rule, that means you really didn’t improve much, meaning he still sees you the same way as before.

   And it looks like you’re friendzoned too.

   If you’re always there, not growing, not improving, would he miss you or be attracted to you?

   If he talks to you, is it obvious that you still want him back?

8. 

   Spitfire

   October 10, 2016 at 3:31 pm

   Hi , me and my boyfriend were dating for 4 years. We broke up mouths ago and things seem to finally be claming down. The reason for us fghting and breaking up was aloy of little things but one of the big things was me giving up on myself and not changing to become better and also i relyed on him for alot at the end of us dating.

   He now sees that i have changed
   And tells me all the time he ‘ wants to be friends’ or ‘reget to know each other’ like i guess resting. The thing is i see him getting close , he flirts, or we act like were still dating. But once i make a comment about hoe his actting….he telld me he doesn’t want me to read to much into it, or tells me he hopes the next guy i date is a good one .

   A couple of days ago he finally said somthing like’ we at less need to go on one date with someone before we talk about us again’ but then later on goes to calling me his friend .

   My head hurts from all of this
   I tried to tell him he is confused but i see when i do he talks about somthing else. HE EVEN ASKED ME NOT TO FLIRT OR START ANYTHING! and i don’t but he goes right ahead and starts it..and when i told him i wasnt going to do it back because he asked me not to..he didn’t know what to say. Also for the past couple of nights we been talking on the phone until 3 or 4 am ..being all cute and couple like..yet he says its friends just talking….what?!

   This Thursday we ate going to meet each other and go apple picking and see a movie. I feel like its more like a date now then a hang out

   Just being told im his friend and wants me to date other people. To then being told a other thing is getting to the point wete i don’t know what to do.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 11, 2016 at 10:45 am

   Hi Spit fire,

   I think you need to stop agreeing what he wants you to do with your life.. And start taking responsibility for it, so that you don’t end up friend zoned.. do you want to try what’s advised above?

9. 

   Emilie

   October 7, 2016 at 11:15 pm

   Hey! My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago. Everything happened on the phone because i am in another country for holidays. I will come back in my country tomorrow and am really hoping to arrange my relationship with him. He broke up with me because he said that i dont give him his space, am too demanding, am too controlling, i dont try to understand him, i dont appreciate his efforts towards me and that he feel lost like he doesnt know what he wants in life BUT he said that HE STILL LOVE ME LIKE A LOT! He wants his freedom but he wants to have me also but without any responsibilities like he will see me or doing things for me when he wants or feel it. He started to be like that after the death of his mother and he REALLY neglected me badly especially when i really tried to get closer to him( I SACRIFIED MOST OF MYSELF FOR HIM, BEFORE AND AFTER HIS MOTHER DIED OF CANCER). When i will come back to my country i wont be able to do the NC immediately because i need to solve few important things with him(business things) …He said that we are going to resolve them and that he really wants us to stay friends because as we did 3 yrs together he doesnt want to erase me from his life. But he posted on his facebook, posts like he took the best decision to break up ( it was an indirect post but i knew what he met) and it seems that he is moving on quite quick. I will meet him in few days and i dont want to look desperate, even so deep inside me i want him back. It will be hard to play the indifferent nice ex-girlfriend who doesnt give a fuck that he broke up with me. I want him back but how i will do it if i need to see him in few days to solve our important ( business) things and that he wants me just as friends?????

1. 

   Emilie

   October 10, 2016 at 9:29 pm

   Thank you for your reply!

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 11, 2016 at 3:52 pm

   You’re welcome!

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 10, 2016 at 1:45 pm

   Hi Emilie,

   from how he sounds and how you said that you sacrificed most of yourself for him, it looks like you lost yourself and your individuality in the relationship.. You made your world revolve around him and now he’s suffocated.. Just be calm when you meet and then focus in making a new routine during no contact that you will continue even after no contact while rebuilding rapport with him ..

10. 

    ananya

    October 5, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    hey…my ex bf is really pissed of with me.he thinks i have cheated him and he dsnt want to be with me..its been two months of brkup he had blocked me but now he unblocked me and now i hv convinced him to stay just frnds..he says he likes another girl who isnt even single..what should i do..i cant afford to lose this friendship again.but i want him back.plz help.
    p.s.hes very far away cant meet.it was a ldr.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 7, 2016 at 3:25 pm

   Hi Ananya,

   you should read this one:
   How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t

11. 

    Cynthia

    October 2, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    Hello, me and my ex were together for 4 years, its been almost 2 months since the break up. We haven’t talked much until recently when I had to pick up my stuff from his house. Well we ended up talking for 2 hours and now I want him back! I told him we were friends and he unblocked me, now he tells me about his problems. He then told me he is only talking to me as friends! I told him to just reblock me, as I don’t think I can just be friends with him. Then he told me not be crazy. What do I do? I want him back but I can’t handle being friends with him if there is no chance at us being together again.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 5, 2016 at 10:12 am

   Hi Cynthia,

   do you want to try what’s advised above?

12. 

    Sam

    September 30, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    Hi
    My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago and we tried not talking at all, however we could only go two days without talking. He broke up with me because he said he is unhappy in his life right now and that he has to figure his life out and that he doesnt want to drag me down too. He says he still loves me. I still love him to. I just am confused on what to do. We talked and I asked him if he wants to hang out and be friends and have sex sometimes. He said he doesnt want to do that because he doesn’t wanna make it harder for either of us, but I convinced him to hang out with me. We started having sex and hanging out. He has been worried that we both won’t be able to move on if we continue to do this. I told him that I still want him in my life and he said he still wants me in his. He just doesn’t understand why I can have sex with him without feeling guilty. He told me that me having sex with him confuses him and he wants to but is worried it will make it hard for him in the future. I wanna be with him. I wanna get back together with him I just dont know how. I have tried everything.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 1, 2016 at 3:09 pm

   Hi Sam,

   don’t do that. Be thankful that he doesn’t to take advantage of you. You’re putting yourself in the friends with benefits position, hoping that it can help him change his mind, but all it does is lower your value.. Don’t ever do that again. Do you want to try no contact rule again?

13. 

    Angel

    September 30, 2016 at 12:52 am

    Hi dear,
    I’ll try not to make it long,
    We’ve met online,very long distance, and he told me more than one time that he really care for me and that I’m so kind to him and he really scared that I love him but he promised that he’ll visit, and he came and I went so needy and clingy I noticed it after he left and he already told me I see us friendsip and I’m smothering him but I didn’t take it, he told me more than once before he came that he doesn’t want to get my heartbroken, and from our text he does care about me, he came back home so we had more than once the talk and he told me that I have to let things happen naturally but at the end of the day we are FRIENDS … I didn’t know about that no contact rule yet .. we kept talking and our chat was so friendly out of emotions and I called him and our phone call was for 30 min almost he was listening and didn’t went so well .. he told me at the end I don’t want relationship with you at the moment full stop and he told me I have to hung up and then he apologised about it with text that he got busy … After that I texted him that I accept being a friend .. I didn’t like it and I found this article now … The no contact rule will work out after he knows already accepting being his friend and after that what should I do

    Thanks a lot for your help

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 1, 2016 at 2:04 pm

   Hi Angel,

   There’s not guarantee that it will work. And it’s not just about ignoring him.. You have to actively improve yourself. After no contact rule initiate a text. Check this one:
   EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

14. 

    Megan

    September 29, 2016 at 12:17 am

    So I think I just hit a brick wall. We broke up 5 months ago. Once he say we were done I instantly did the NC rule. After that I did the first text and he texted right away. Now, when we were communicating and kinda catching up in a way he did tell me that he missed me and wanted thinks to work. I was fine with that because I wanted the same thing. Well he is moving to a different city and luckily I’ll be there too in about 6 months. He wanted to be friends and though I wasn’t exactly comfortable with this I would try to connect with him emotionally. Well we hang out sometimes, majority at the gym and then today before I left I asked him a question about his text last night. It was him offering food after work and I thought that as sweet. ( he offered lunch today instead). Now my question was if he would of really done that because honestly, I didn’t believe it. He said he would of because we are friends. It hurt me a bit when he said that so he responded say that he wasing trying to be flirty or anything like that. Well… I told that’s not really it but that I missed him. All he responded is that I know and that was about it. I’m just a little lost… have I been friend zoned???? Or is he trying to be polite? I want him back, but I just can’t tell if anything is really working. Do I do a NC to get out of a friend zone?? I feel as if I hit a brick wall

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 30, 2016 at 6:37 pm

   Hi Megan,
   Yeah, it looks like you’re friendzoned.. Were you too available? Check this one too:
   EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

15. 

    Anon

    September 26, 2016 at 8:37 pm

    My ex is an avoider. If the “friend zone” is due to distance & to try to avoid the pain of missing me, do I straight up tell him that I don’t want to be friends? Then do NC? (I obviously wouldnt tell him about the NC part)

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 28, 2016 at 7:57 am

   HI Anon,

   nope, just do nc.

16. 

    Shelby Gilbreath

    September 26, 2016 at 2:36 am

    My ex and I broke up 2 months ago today. After about 2 weeks of freaking out, I found this website and started with the steps. I implemented the no contact rule, stuck with it for 30 days (only spoke to him at work since we both work in the same office). After that, literally the last day of NC he approached me at work and asked if we could get dinner. We hung out and it was as if everything was back to normal. He told me he missed me and we’ve hung out a few times. Now he is saying he enjoys hanging out but he only wants to be friends, basically to see what else is out there. So, do I do another 30 days of no contact? I’m stuck on where to go from here.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 26, 2016 at 11:48 am

   Hi Shelby,

   not really, but don’t be too available. Reverse friendzone him and then continue on the activities you started during nc and start dating others too. Start with group dates if you want.

17. 

    mehak

    September 23, 2016 at 9:25 am

    hi I’m mehak
    I’m going through the same problem as u all are going through…… I had my first love we met in the school bus the way back to home..one day I asked him out he said yes sure I’ll go with u and then on that day he told me that he love me….then we had great time together but few days ago he told everything about me to his mother…but he’s mother don’t want him to be in a relationship with someone and then he broke up with me he said that he can’t go against to his mother but he said that we’ll forever be friends but I don’t wanna be just friend because I feel something different about him all I want is to get him back I just don’t know what am I supposed to do……:'( :'(

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 24, 2016 at 9:33 am

   Hi Mehak,

   how old are you both?

18. 

    Maria

    September 19, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    hey,
    My ex boyfriend and were going out for a little over a year until school started getting in the way for both of us. We were a great team together and always figured things out and we had so much love for eachother, until school started to become his first priority over me. I felt as if i was becoming a distraction for him because he was always too busy studying. Things were getting difficult and he was starting to have less and less time for me and less feelings for me. 3 weeks before he friendzoned me he said the same thing, “I don’t know if I love you anymore but I still want to be friends with you” and it terrified because I did not see him for 6 weeks, so I insisted that we see eachother right away. He has always been not so good at communicating so I was always the one to message first. We then quickly made plans to work things out and when he saw me again after not seeing me for 6 weeks, he just flooded me with hugs and kisses and he said that he missed me and he said that he loved me. we then didn’t see eachother 2 weeks. he felt different again and he then friendzoned me at a football game. He is so busy with school and his parents push him too hard. I really do care about him, but I don’t know what to think now. Is he just confused? Is this how he really feels? do we need time apart to reevaluate ourselves? I feel that if i do the NC rule he won’t care or ever think about me and i am scared that he will completely forget about everything that we have gone through. He asked if we could still be friends, I agreed, but I still love him and I am stuck on how i can get him back. But I haven’t talked to him since we discussed this (2 days ago). I was never desperate and I never begged to be his girl again because I know that would hurt my chances of getting him back. My instincts tell me that this is just temporary and that time apart will be better for the both of us, and we can restart our relationship and spend more time together. but I do not want us to lose all feelings. I know that he has no interest in any other girls and I am not looking for anyone else either. Any tips would help tons! Thank you

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 21, 2016 at 2:39 pm

   Hi Maria,

   He’s been more focused in school for the past weeks, so honestly, I dont think just being silent will help.. But the difference with doing the no contact rule is that you will not make him a priority anymore.. you will make yourself a priority.. Ignore him and just focus in improving yourself. Try doing 30 days and then continue improving yourself too once you started talking to him again

19. 

    Jess

    September 18, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    So i got to meet up with m ex boyfriend yesterday. We broke up three months ago and we dated for 4 years. After are break up all we did was fight and hate each other. I finally got tried of this and told him we need to meet up. So we did and had a long long talk, he keeps saying he wants to be friends.

    He feels like if you dated someone for that long, and they know everything about you then you should keep them in your life. I feel like thats bull but he was giving me mix signs the whole time , he even kissed me and got close to me, he tells me his still too comfortable around me. Yet he puts his head on my lap asking me if does he look good and about later on down the line getting a other girl.

    He told me my input was always true and i told him the truth, yet he wants to touch me and make out with me .

    Like i don’t know whats going on, i feel like his confused and he tells me he feels nothing but it feel nice

    His dead set on wanting to be friends seeing we were so close before…just idk.
    I want to be with him …

    I said kinda ok on the friend thing ..not really..i just don’t know..

1. 

   Jess

   September 20, 2016 at 10:08 pm

   We broke up because he felt like he didnt have space, he felt like he was being used , that i told him i would do somthing for him but last min wasnt able to..but did somthing else to make up for it.
   I feel like it was alot of little things
   And he got tried of it.

   He said he was doing better and he was happy since the break up. And thay he doesnt care for me.

   But once he sees me he goes crazy
   He flirts
   Gets close
   Tries to kiss me
   It shows he has feelings but he tells me other wise.

   I don’t want to be a rebound
   So i started no contact rule with him

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 22, 2016 at 6:58 pm

   Ok.. but don’t be friends with benefits with him. Don’t be too available. If you really want to have a higher chance of getting him back, reverse friendzone him. Agree on being friends but don’t give him the benefits of being a girlfriend.

   But you didn’t mention how long you did nc and how much you have improved. So, I’m guessing he can see you’re still hung up on him..

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 20, 2016 at 5:16 pm

   Hi Jess,

   why did you break up?

20. 

    Elizabeth

    September 17, 2016 at 6:26 am

    So my boyfriend and I dated for almost two years. Earlier this year he told me he had decided to move out of state for his masters and due to lack of healthy communication and just being scared of leaving each other, him moving caused tension in our relationship. The week he was moving we had an argument over something silly and two days after he broke up with me. I’m pretty sure his emotions were high due to the fact that he was moving and I feel as though he used that fight as a way out because he wasn’t sure about how he could handle long distance. We went about a month with NC and recently I’ve noticed he’s been watching all of my snapchats. And then yesterday he reached out and was very open and said that he “misses me like crazy”, and a part of him feels that it is best to move on, another part feels unsure about moving on. He asked to get coffee when he comes back in a month to visit family. But he also said that he doesn’t want to give me false hope because I’m amazing and should live my life and he doesn’t want to hold me back because he’s not sure if he wants to be in my life. He said that he needs time and right now with his masters program he doesn’t even have time for himself let alone restarting a relationship. He did say that if anything he’d like to keep me in his life, to which I was honest about and said that I wouldn’t want to remain friends if our relationship has no hope of continuing. Our conversation was very civil and open and ended on good terms. However my question is, should I remain in NC with him until he comes to visit and take it from there? I guess I don’t know if texting him every now and again will keep both of us in the other one’s life enough to try this again, or if not contacting him at all will increase my chances of him wanting to try things again. Will staying in his life loosely reduce the chances of him moving on until he makes a decision? Or would not being a part of his life reduce the chances of him moving on?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 19, 2016 at 12:40 pm

   Hi Elizabeth,

   I think it would be better if you do nc first and then reconnect after it so, that you can let him miss you and let yourself heal and improve