366 thoughts on “What To Do On A Date With Your Ex Boyfriend”

1. 

   Amanda

   October 4, 2016 at 10:53 pm

   I have a date with my ex tomorrow and I have no Idea what to do ?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 6, 2016 at 10:22 pm

   Hi Amanda,

   sorry for the late reply. How did it go?

2. 

   Sasha

   September 17, 2016 at 8:40 am

   I broke up with my ex of 9 months about 2 months ago. I contacted him after over a month of no contact and he was very happy to talk to me again.
   We met on a date, and there was so much chemistry, we held hands and hugged the entire time. During the week after that we spoke a couple of times, all messages were very sweet and friendly. Then we went on date 2, which was very romantic, and ended with us spending the night together and sleeping together, but i feel like he was surprised i’d give it to him so fast. He also admitted that he felt so good being in my arms, and he said that the break up made him realize how much i meant to him.
   The next day though he became a bit distant. I invited him to an event on the same day and he said he cant go. So I decided to give him some space.
   2 days later he sent me a text message with just my nick name and a question mark. I am not sure if he missed me, or if he is playing games. he asked how i was. I responded with short answers.
   The next day I messaged him, and he complained about having a rough day at work, but he never initiated a date after that second date that we had. I know for a fact that he is free over the weekend, and it’s been a week since our last meet up, but he hasn’t asked me out again. I’m afraid of coming off as clingy if I initiate date number 3. He is also aware that I wont be available the 2 or 3 coming weekends.
   During our date i have spoken about things we could to together in the future and implied in different ways that I want to get back together with him, so im wondering if that might have scared him.
   In our most recent message exchange when he complained about having a rough time at work, I messaged him a solution to his problem, but he never responded. I texted him again saying, that he could at least say thank you, and he told me he was caught up with work. then I told him that I dont feel a friendly vibe from him, and that i feel like he is still holding a grudge, and that changed since the last date, and it might have been a bad idea to reconnect. He said “don’t say that baby” and appologized and admitted that he hasn’t been communicative enough.
   I’m worried that after he sensed my interest that he decided to keep me around until he finds something better.
   Should I open up and ask him bluntly if he wants to get back with me? Or should I wait for him to contact me and ask me out, knowing that he might never do, since it seems like im the one initiating everything? Is there a way to make him initiate a date again? And should I be texting him again or wait until he does?

   Thank you

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 19, 2016 at 1:11 pm

   Hi Sasha,

   what if he’s just really busy during this time? Take it slow. If he’s not initiating a date and then the last thing you would ask is to get back with you.

3. 

   Lita

   September 17, 2016 at 1:48 am

   So i saw my boyfriend yesterday after a month
   on the phone he acts big and bad but when he saw me he just melted in a since, telling me i was pretty in yellow ( i had on a yellow dress) and was trying to hug me . i kinda pushed away seeing that his been hot and cold with me alot and i felt like it was not right. Anyway today i told him i was sorry for not hugging him , i also knew about him doing so work training around were i live at a bowling alley, i asked if he wanted to do something after he was done .

   he told me he would let me know once he was out of work seeing he works in the morning .

   im not sure if this is a date but its just the two of us , im a little worried on what to do
   i don’t want to mess this up

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 19, 2016 at 10:52 am

   hi lita,
   take it as a date..but dont rush too.. check this one too:
   EBR 043: How To Handle The First Date With Your Ex Boyfriend

4. 

   Busie

   September 7, 2016 at 8:14 am

   Hi…. My ex and I broke up last year December after 4 months of no contact he contacted me and we started chatting but recently he’s been calling for hours and we went on our first date a while ago where he said he was happy alone, now he asked me on a date again and I don’t if I wanna go since I feel like he’s giving me mixed signals… Should go?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 8, 2016 at 8:28 am

   Hi Busie,

   the question is, go and talk to him calmly about what you think

5. 

   Lisa

   August 31, 2016 at 1:53 pm

   Hi so my boyfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago I did nc for about 4 weeks he reached out to me we have been talking since texting and on the phone initially he asked me on a date but we couldn’t wait to see each other alcohol involved we had sex he then continued to reach out to me asking me if I wanted to hang out we ended up going out to a club we used to go too just us he was very flirty all night and I ended up sleeping over but we didn’t have sex this time I refused all night I haven’t heard from him since but I’m leaving to go away on Saturday and won’t see him for a while should I contact him to hang out again or go into a nc period and wait for him to contact me?

1. 

   Lisa D

   August 31, 2016 at 8:05 pm

   Because I want to still have him on the chase but I don’t want to fall out of touch because I’m leaving

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 1, 2016 at 11:54 am

   it’s ok to initiate as long you’re the one controlling the conversation and ending it at high point.

3. 

   Lisa D

   August 31, 2016 at 5:13 pm

   So I shouldn’t wait for him to text or call me first ?

4. 

   Lisa D

   August 31, 2016 at 4:25 pm

   I’m going away for school so I will probably be gone till thanksgiving and we hung out last Friday night so I haven’t messaged him since

5. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 31, 2016 at 5:11 pm

   Hmm.. asking him out again can be tricky.. try to initiate a conversation first. If it goes well, ask him out

6. 

   Lisa D

   August 31, 2016 at 2:03 pm

   Also we dated for 8 months and I havnt heard from him in 5 days

7. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 31, 2016 at 4:11 pm

   Hi Lisa,

   when was that message and how long will you be gone?

6. 

   Samantha

   August 25, 2016 at 8:10 am

   I’m not sure if I just had a “first date” with my ex today or not? I know that sounds weird, but read on and I’ll explain why….My ex and I broke up over a month ago. 2 yr relationship, he broke up with me due to him being emotionally unavailable, unable to fully commit, focused more on his goals, confused, in search of something, maybe fulfillment or happiness, I don’t know…Anyways, it hurt for the both of us. I cut off contact for a month and then shortly after we started to communicate. I have a daughter (10yrs) who adores him, loves him and has been missing him. He adores, loves and misses her too. He’s not her father. During our communication he suggests meeting up for dinner with my daughter so they can see each other (I’ve explained to my daughter that him and I are no longer in a relationship but that we do care about each other and that it had nothing to do with her, and that hopefully one day he can be our friend). I took time to think about the request, spoke to my daughter about it and decided to approve it…We went for dinner tonight. He came in and gave me a big long hug, we are, shared stories, him and my daughter laughed until tears filled their eyes, it was a good night…when we got ready to part ways, he hugged me again, walked us to my car and lingered a bit, at one point he even got into my car, but I think he did that to lure my kid back in the car because she wanted to stay with him…anyways, we left and I thanked him for a good evening, oh! He also paid for our bill, even though I asked for it to be split. When I got home he texted and said it was a very nice time and that we can meet up again next week for ice cream.

   So, I guess I’m wondering if this was a “date” or was it just for him to see my daughter again…Either way is good, because I don’t want to go back into the realation that we had, because he was so closed off…but I DO want him to be in our lives. I still love him a lot but I know nothing has changed in his situation.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 29, 2016 at 12:50 pm

   Hi Samantha,

   it’s more for you daughter.. but even if it’s that, at least you get to build rapport..

7. 

   Buli

   August 24, 2016 at 11:11 am

   Hi
   I’m in a No Contact with my ex boyfriend who break up with me a month ago, now the problem is I haven’t gone to my period, I took HPT for 5 times and they all saying negative I was supposed to go on the 5th and I didn’t. I was confused and stressed I decided to just send him a message and ask to meet with him but he said what for so I see there was no need to meet I can just text him well I did but he said that’s not true I can’t be pregnant, well I kept quiet ever since that day and now I don’t know if I should continue with NC or start over again, I want to ask him out for dinner on his birthday but again I feel like he will think I’m needy and I’m not.
   I miss him but if he can’t be with me well I’ll understand and move on if pregnant I’ll keep my baby and it be up to him if he wanna be park of the baby’s life or not.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 28, 2016 at 2:11 pm

   Hi Buli,

   take a blood test in a clinic, that’s more accurate.. and dont ask him for dinner.. that’s too forward..

8. 

   kim

   June 2, 2016 at 12:11 pm

   LONG ONE….
   My “break up” is what I would called abandoned. He blamed me for cheating which I didn’t to cover up him liking another girl. When he blamed me, I didn’t talk to him after and he didn’t either. He was a couple of years older than me and I was a Junior in high school. For a good 2-3 years after I kept in contact and even a few physical contacts (i didn’t know everything he was doing) (when I did find out the truth and the cause of him leaving me, as well as knowing he was talking to someone I broke all things off pretty much and was ignoring him. He has always been the type to contact me every few months (2 or 3 times a year). The last few good times, he has said on one occasion, I’m not trying to get with you… (I replied of course aren’t you in love with someone (as he posts to Facebook). He never said yes or no and we left it at that. The next… he did what he always do, try to force me to talk, facetime, begs to send pictures (he loves pictures), and then sends me a photo of himself which I never wanted and can find online if I did. He asks why I haven’t settled down (I’m in college) he asks when am I going to get a man, I basically had to tell him sarcastically why and that I like just dating. And he asks about my relationships. He asks to see me I say no and we have a whole conversation about that. He mentions of have I seen that he hasn’t let go of me (when I think getting into relationships like it isn’t nothing) is letting go). Recently he started this random conversation about his arm having trouble from his accident and his family (that is all he basically said) so I tried to show care but since he didn’t say much when I asked, I didn’t either. It was only to move onto asking what I was doing this weekend (which is code for I will be in the area). I said I’m going out of the states. He mentions who I’m going with and if it’s a guy and if we are close…. This guy is predictable… He asks again can he see me, and asks if I hate him, and says he wants to see his old love (but there are plenty of old loves) why me? (I’m defiantly not his type, as I can see now and he plays with me which I have to correct him or ignore him if he does). He asks did he break my heart or let me down… this is the first time I ever brought up what he done and he denies flirting with a female while dating me, the one he ended up with when I still was in High school not the current. I am not sure what is going on with them, she posts love stuff to his page knowing he doesn’t like it and he deletes it later on. All of a sudden now it’s contact Kim and ask her on a date to catch up” when I really don’t want to know anything about him. why me?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 12, 2016 at 5:27 am

   Hi Kim,

   just avoid him.. he might be contacting other girls too and not just you

9. 

   Ritt

   May 29, 2016 at 6:53 pm

   Hi all, So here is the thing. We broke up 2 months ago- he broke up. I also posted post breakup. After a month of no contact he went on a 3 week trip, while he was travelling into the second week we started to email. Keeping it short but still kind of building up towards a date. Meanwhile I got in shape did changes just got happy on my own, moved back to my place etc. So a week before coming back to town he asks me on a date – saying lets do a bbq and he needs to talk to me. So he apologized which I absolutely needed, said that he realized how much he actually loved me and appreciates even the smallest things throughout our relationship even like little kisses and stuff. I asked him if it was the relationship he was missing or acutally me. He said he wants to regain my trust and build up to the point where we were pre-breakup. I knew I forgave him before so I could move on and I am going to give him a chance. Now here is the thing I want to go slowly so we go towards a different relationship and try to take care of both – I see his efforts too but I am totally scared he is going to leave me once he has gone through this new beginning fase. Any advice on how I can just enjoy without being scared all the time? Or how to go and build up towards a new relationship ? We went on 2 dates now …

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 31, 2016 at 11:06 am

   Hi Ritt,

   what were the mistakes before? don’t do it again.. be more patient if he makes a mistakr but don’t be naive.. don’t sleep right away

10. 

    Tina mrk

    May 26, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    Few days ago me and my ex fiancé broke up
    I would like to talk more about this relationship that I give up everything I have and had, I left my work , my family , my house , car and friends just to be with him , everything was perfect until during the last dinner he decide not to have kids I was over emotional I stood up I gave the ring and I asked him to take me home since I was driving his car. But he insisted me having it back n take the car and was wondering whether he will see me again or not.
    The night after I went to his place to apologize and get my ring and try to work it out because I really loved him , and he gave it back to me but I felt 60% he is canceling the engagement
    all his family members are happy with the new of calling off the wedding , m still shocked
    I really missed him and I don’t know what to do specially even the last light was the keys !! Now he is asking for them back
    Help me ! Advice me !!
    Thank you

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 29, 2016 at 2:31 pm

   Hi Tina Mrk,

   his family is happy because he called off the wedding? Start with the no contact process now.. so you can start to heal.. and be more ratiinal before you get to talk to him again.. Give him the keys and be calm as possible

11. 

    Sarah

    May 18, 2016 at 11:46 pm

    In the article you stated not to do a Bachelor type romantic date in the beginning. However, what do you suggest if the no contact rule worked, the guy came back apologizing for the breakup on his own merit and asks you out on a fancy date? In that case I should accept to go on the fancy date or do you suggest downplaying it and trying to hang in a more casual setting regardless?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 24, 2016 at 7:45 pm

   Yeah, if he is doing to make up for you, yes go with it.

2. 

   Sarah

   May 18, 2016 at 11:56 pm

   I did not reach out to him at all after the breakup. Months passed then he was the first one to reach out

12. 

    Alexis

    May 18, 2016 at 8:19 am

    My ex will meet me next week .It’s almost a year since we broke up . I do not know what to do since I knew he did not want to be friends with me . I still love him . We’ll only meet just because he will accompany me to the hospital for check up. What should I do?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 24, 2016 at 3:14 pm

   Hi Alexis,

   have you met? how did it go? if you haven’t you should stay calm..did you ask him to accompany you for support?

13. 

    Sammie

    May 4, 2016 at 12:13 am

    Hi Amor
    I have been on several dates with my ex, and it is all going well. He has not asked me to be his gf yet, and all the dates that we have been on have just been the two of us.
    I was wondering your opinion on if I should suggest us going on a double date with my ex’s friend and his gf.
    Thanks!

1. 

   Sammie

   May 8, 2016 at 6:00 pm

   Thanks Amor!
   Do you think that it would be good if I tried to set something like that up?
   I just thought that it might be because he always thought that I did not like his friends

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 9, 2016 at 5:10 am

   yeah, that’s good!

3. 

   Sammie

   May 4, 2016 at 4:08 pm

   It has always been just the two of us, we have kissed, and done other stuff but have not had sex. We have been on romantic dates, like out to dinner.
   Im pretty sure that his friends would know about us because they were at a party that we were both at. At this party me and my ex hung out quite a bit.
   In our previous relationship, he thought that I should be more involved with his friends and family, which is the reason why I am considering it.
   Im not sure if he would feel awkward, thats why I was asking you.
   Thought?
   Thanks

4. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 8, 2016 at 2:02 am

   say it in a casual way.. like for example

   eve’s inviting us to the park this tuesday, want to come?

   or adam and eve told me they’re going to this place, I plan on going there too.. it’s fun if were a lot

5. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 4, 2016 at 1:03 pm

   Hi Sammie,

   if it’s just the two of you, were it romantic? It depends on how yiu are now, would he feel awkward because they are couple?

14. 

    Christina A

    April 13, 2016 at 6:48 am

    Hey!

    So, I’ve got to day this site had really helped me with my breakup. It has been a long journey but the progress I’ve made with my ex is waaay better than it was before.. but now I’m stuck and don’t know what to do!

    I went over to his house the other night and we had pizza and watched TV together. (I asked him to hang out) The conversation was light and felt comfortable. He mentioned sex and although it was hard I turned him down. While driving home a little later he texted me saying to text him when I got home to make sure I was safe. The next day I didn’t expect him to text me but he did! I was wondering if I should wait for him to ask to hang out again or should i ask even though I asked him the first time?& how do I knew he doesn’t just want sex? He hasn’t brought it up again but Im a little nervous about that.

    There really wasn’t much physical contact,so I’m not sure if he’s interested or not. What do you think?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   April 14, 2016 at 5:23 am

   Hi Christina a,

   Try to build up attraction by being a little busy sometimes and try the jealousy tactic..Go out with other friends..don’t be too forward.. just going out on a group date with others and posting happy pictures can help you increase the chance for him to initiate a meet up.. but next time choose a place that’s not so intimate

15. 

    freya toyne

    April 11, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    Hey Chris,

    My ex and I broke up in late january, he told me he thought alot of me and didn’t want to mess me around but that he just didn’t have the time at the moment between his work/friends to give me the commitment “i deserve/require”. Our relationship had barely begun having just started in late november, and bar his replies sometimes being very delayed things had been going smoothly. We’ve been out of contact until last week when he asked me how and i was, when i responded casually he said we should go for a coffee if i’m ever around. hes now picking me up from work on friday and were going for a drink together.

    hes not specified its a date, should i ask him out right if he wants to get back together and be straight with him about not being interested in a friendship? also should I dress up or just act more casual about the date but still look great.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   April 13, 2016 at 2:13 pm

   HI Freya,

   Don’t ask him.. Go casual but look your best. Have fun and don’t talk about heavy stuff.. Make him want to talk to you again by being positive.

16. 

    Cara

    March 4, 2016 at 5:52 am

    I did the no contact with my ex on and off for a couple of months. I would check up on him here and there. We started being “friends with benefits.” Now after reading your articles, I feel guilty. I decided to talk to someone else to make him jealous. He called me crying about how he knows i’m dating someone else and how he’s jealous. He said that he regrets the break up and how he thinks he made a mistake. I did not know what I was thinking at the time, but I completely deflated his comments and said that he only wanted me back because he was jealous. He had to get off the phone before we could further talk about him wanting me back. Now, fast forward to a couple of weeks, we’re back to being just friends with benefits. To make thinks worst, he keeps asking me about the other guy and suggesting that I stop talking to him.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 4, 2016 at 7:46 am

   Hi Cara,

   Then, just stop having sex with him.. and then see how things will turn out

17. 

    Jacquelyn

    February 11, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    Hey! So was hoping for advice a.s.a.p. I have kind of stumbled through a lot of this prior to finding your site. Long story way short, my ex and I were both going through divorces around the same time. Mine was over, he had been separated and his was going on 3 years. It was supposed to be finalized closer to when we got together but his ex (who was always pulling awful tricks. She cheated and was the breadwinner, would be paying HIM out and a lot, and is pissed he got his shit together, lost weight, ect. after and she was burnt up about it) got it pushed out until January. His lawyer didn’t want him to see me so we hadn’t been official when it started so that put so much strain on us, that we thought would end sooner but all the sudden it got pushed out, became messy and hard and we split. It was an on-again/off-again thing because I never knew where we were relationship wise because we had to do things so differently. So basically we split, I did all the annoying clingy/ emotional stuff at first but then decided it wasn’t worth it because he needed to do his own thing, decompress, and take care of his business/ the best for his children. I went to another gym, went on some dates, and have been extremely successful lately even tho its only been a couple weeks. we haven’t done the no contact, he still has even called me for a ride when his car needed worked on. He kept trying to be extremely sexual, drunk dialing, asking about who i was with all that stuff and I am aware he has been talking to someone else also so I pulled back hard.

    Anyway, he kept texting, calling, being sexual, ect, which I didn’t respond to too much, and i got tired of it and basically told him he could either take me on a proper date, that I had put up with enough for him and I deserved a god honest chance, but that I was tired of the cat and mouse shit and it was hurtful for him to keep doing so if he didn’t want to be with me. It was insulting for him to hit me up for that stuff and then give someone else a chance and not me but still wanted to remain friends. I knew he was trying to keep me close, and I wasn’t having it anymore. If he wanted to keep seeing her I was just going to pull back on our “friendship” all together (I didn’t tell him that part). Basically either knock it off or treat me properly, and just take me to dinner or something, good gravy. And then I didn’t talk to him for about a week other than a few work things. (we are both aspiring actors on the side as well as gym buffs so I can pick and chose if I run into him by what gym I go to.) I buckled and called to ask for directions (again work related) and he didn’t answer, so I just sent a quick msg like (called about looking for the set but I found it)

    To my surprise, he showed up. He auditioned for a thing he wasn’t even planning on, and when he walked in the room all I said was his name, didn’t even get up, just smiled. He looked at me like he used to, I was looking great cause it was for an audition. He said hi left, said he would be right back, and brought his daughter over who is my kryptonite. at this point I got up, went and cooed over her, chit chatted, and all that. THen I kiled my audition (infront of all this friends and colegues) and he sent a stream of good luck, youre going to get it, texts. I also heard at the audtition he had brought his other lady friend to set so I texted him about to say not to worry about dinner, but left it open ended. (hes the type that if he doesn’t want to do something he just wont respond) So I just said “So uh, you never answered me about dinner lol.” To my surprise he said Tuesday or Thursday, and we set it up. I kept my answers very short and didn’t text him until. He texted me tuesday saying he had to reschedule, which I kept cool and short about and to my surprise (I thoguht he would cancel, keeping my expectations kinda low lol) He called to tell me about how great I had done at the audition, everyone really liked me a lot and apparently I got a part, even if they have to re-write one. (I told you I’ve been killing it lately, did I mention I also will be lingerie modeling this weekend, and competing in the Arnold Classic Bikini Contest? I am also a Chef, I’ve even cooked for the Dali Llama I’m an amazing package, possibly intimidating, yea I know… ) Anyway, we talked for 10-15 minutes, and he said this weekend.. Friday. OF VALENTINES DAY WEEKEND. And I Accidentally picked a fancy place because I’m a chef, I have high end friends, thats just kinda how I do, but lazer tag now sounds like maybe it wouldve been a better choice? IDK.

    And now its thursday, and I’m freaking out that he might cancel, and if he doesn’t well I hope it’s not a pity date and he’s just going to stay with whoever he’s talking to. He has told me so many times he still loves me, will always be there for me nomatter what, ect. So I just don’t know if he’s giving me another chance or just trying to do me right this one time… He was always paranoid I had cheated since we had to be weird and not public, which I never did but again, he had a crazy ex that put him a certain way. I’m hoping hes past that now. I haven’t spoken to him since we rescheduled, saw him at the gym tho. Since I kinda just flubbed my way through the initial part I just want some advice I guess on the actual date? I mean, if he’s still coming at me and has been consistently I hope he is willing to try but I don’t want to put any expectations on it. I want a second date, but I also want eventually the other girl to be let go of. I’m in a much stronger state now, definitely interact with him differently to show it, more confident, direct answers, no room for open ended, let downs (Not a maybe we can still grab dinner???, now its What day are you available? pick me up at 8), just all around less pathetic. Basically I was the girl that was overly nice, would do anything for him type (need a babysitter at 5am tomorrow? OK. Cant afford christmas presents because your ex pulled a legal trick again right before? Merry Christmas here’s gifts for all your kids, wrapped), now I’ve been letting him know I can live without him (Cause I’m awesome) but secretly I just hope he doesn’t get cold feet because of our rough start. Is there hope?

1. 

   jacquelyn

   February 14, 2016 at 3:58 am

   Hey! So update, we went on the date (barely). He texted and called kinda freaking out right before because he said he is seeing someone. Which sucks. I thought they were just talking but he’s seeing someone, I told him we could go as just friends, I was already dressed up. She got brought up some but I tried to stear around that stuff as best I could. he came up after, sat on the couch, held my hand, I cuddled his arm and we talked about his kids and our common interests. He gave me a really long hug goodbye, I told him he smelled nice. He said that too constantly when we were out, that I smelled good. I look sexy as hell e even tho I was shaken up by how it started. When he left he said maybe I’ll see ya tomorrow, we can go play pool. I wrote him text after text wishing I could send it to just say its done, you’re seeing someone else, because I expected him to bail, but we’re going out later just to catch up for a drink actually. I feel in the wrong but I guess its how this sort of thing goes, or it doesn’t. He didn’t kiss me, but I know he’s considering things. If he stays with her I won’t be his friend anymore which will be hard because we’ve always stayed close but that could be the final thing. I know I’m worth respecting though so I hope I can remember that if we start again. I don’t want to be a secret anymore regardless of the situation. So thats where its at now. We’ll see what happens. Regardless Im going to kick his ass at some pool tonight.

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 12, 2016 at 2:28 pm

   Hi Jacquelyn,

   You know you’re a good package, and you also know you’re standards.. It even seems like you don’t need any advice. You just need to remind yourself during the date that you’re there to spend quality time. Don’t over analyze it. Like you said, you’re a great catch, you can keep that date interesting. Just don’t forget your standards, be the first to walk away when you know he’s not really serious with you. If he doesn’t ask for a second date, let it go.

18. 

    Rach

    January 11, 2016 at 10:52 am

    Hello Chris!
    First off I wanted to say I love reading your articles.
    Aside from your website I wanted to ask your advice on my current situation. So!
    My ex and I dated for almost two years and in December he decided he wanted to end it. Which crushed me but in some ways I saw it coming because he has already graduated and is moving back to his home town. So anyways. He was talking to another girl the last week we were together and now he’s seeing her, to my knowledge he’s not dating her and before he left he said that she was “trying to make things move too fast”. So after the breakup I read your articles and followed the no contact rule. I also blocked him on every form of social media so that he was unable to see how I was doing in any form. I ignored him completely for a month and it totally got his attention. He texted me several times saying ” Im so sorry Rachel”, “whats up?”, “you’re a beautiful girl, I hope you’re well.” , “Hey, I hope all is going well for you. Merry Christmas happy new year I miss you”, “Sorry for being an asshole. Hopefully you’ll talk to me again one day, but until then I’ll let you be.” and “I’d really like to reestablish a relationship with you as friends Rachel”. Etc. So then I followed your rules and waited to reply I finally did and said something that left room for an open conversation. “I just heard wish you were here by Pink Floyd and it made me smile thinking of you. Hope you’re well.” we then talked the entire day through text and he even called me. We talked on the phone for 40 minutes laughing and catching up. He never talked about the girl or anything negative then he told me a few times how he missed me and almost called me on New Years but didn’t because I wasn’t responding. He also told me how good it was to hear my voice and how happy I was. Overall the conversation went really well. One odd remark he made was that he missed me sexually. Which I thought was odd considering he was seeing this new girl but aside from that I don’t know what to do because he just told me he’s coming up to northern California and wants to see me but i feel weird seeing him when he’s still talking to the other girl?
    thanks for reading!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 16, 2016 at 11:45 am

   Hi Rach,

   Congratulations! I’m happy the No Contact Rule worked for you! Go with your gut. If you don’t feel comfortable seeing him then don’t. Your standards matter because that’s determines on how much respect you get.

19. 

    Lindsey

    December 22, 2015 at 10:53 am

    Hi Chris, I made a big mistake 🙁

    I did 30 days NC when my ex and I split up… we ended things with a ‘lets meet up in a while and see how things go’ way after which we both went NC (it wasn’t explicit but ended up that way). Neither of us made any contact.

    Anyway after 35 or so days we started texting and made plans to meet up – before the date he tells me that he met someone else and is still speaking to her although she lives out of state so they weren’t going to see each other any more, but he had no plans to stop talking to her. We still met up and it went the worst way it possibly could : we fought, I screamed at him for cheating, we both cried, then we had sex, then he told me he didn’t have feelings for me any more, after which we stayed up all night screaming and crying as I wanted him to explain himself and begged him not to leave me.

    We met up once since then to exchange stuff, which went a little better, he still maintained that he no longer has feelings for me any more and thinks it’s best not to meet up… but I can tell he does somewhere have feelings for me from his looks and body language. We are still texting, although I initiate all the texts, but he is willing to engage in conversation, and I often leave him hanging with no reply, sometimes for a day or so.

    What shall I do? This has to be salvageable. Shall I do NC again or try and progress to dates again but control myself (in say 3 weeks or so.)

    ~ Lindsey

20. 

    Lindsey

    December 18, 2015 at 8:04 pm

    Hi Chris, I made a big mistake 🙁

    I did 30 days NC when my ex and I split up… we ended things with a ‘lets meet up in a while and see how things go’ way after which we both went NC (it wasn’t explicit but ended up that way). Neither of us made any contact.

    Anyway after 35 or so days we started texting and made plans to meet up – before the date he tells me that he met someone else and is still speaking to her although she lives out of state so they weren’t going to see each other any more, but he had no plans to stop talking to her. We still met up and it went the worst way it possibly could : we fought, I screamed at him for cheating, we both cried, then we had sex, then he told me he didn’t have feelings for me any more, after which we stayed up all night screaming and crying as I wanted him to explain himself and begged him not to leave me.

    We met up once since then to exchange stuff, which went a little better, he still maintained that he no longer has feelings for me any more and thinks it’s best not to meet up… but I can tell he does somewhere have feelings for me from his looks and body language. We are still texting, although I initiate all the texts, but he is willing to engage in conversation, and I often leave him hanging with no reply, sometimes for a day or so.

    What shall I do? This has to be salvageable. Shall I do NC again or try and progress to dates again but control myself (in say 3 weeks or so.)

    ~ Lindsey