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1,033 thoughts on “What To Do When The No Contact Rule Doesn’t Work”

  1. Diana

    May 23, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    Hello,

    To give a little insight, I broke up with him because I asked him how he felt about me and he couldn’t give me an answer. he proposed to take a break and I accepted it.. he literally left the my apt with the look of a guilty and sad dog. He then called 5 hours later telling me how great I was and that he wasn’t that into me, that he was lying to himself before lying to me.

    I completed the 30 days of NC. During this time, I thought about everything and it doesn’t make sense what he said. His actions throughout the whole relationship showed great interest in me. I do not think I’m in denial. I could make a list of so many things he did that now I feel guilty for confronting him. Maybe he got overwhelmed when I confronted him. Anyway.. After 30 days of no contact from both sides, I decided to go ahead and send him a message. I texted him “hey, I just came across About a Boy (a show we used to watch together exclusively) on Netflix šŸ™‚ it made me smile. I hope you are doing well” He replied: “Thanks šŸ™‚ I hope you’re good too.” I did not respond to his message because I have no idea how to. From what I see, he did not keep up with a conversation. Am I wrong? Do I have a chance? Do I just wait 2 more weeks to talk to him and initiate a friendship? I am willing to meet up with him after a month or so as friends and see where it goes.

    Thank you.

    1. diana

      June 2, 2016 at 7:19 pm

      Thank you for your reply Amor : )

      I have have not texted him back since that day..He hasn’t said anything either. I still feel that his message was positive because he’s just being nice. I was thinking on waiting 2 more weeks to text him again if he doesn’t. The thought of texting him again to propose a friendship bothers me.. (that’s my ego talking). We are both introverts but he said he cared about me and wanted us to be friends so I don’t understand why he can’t even ask how I am.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2016 at 2:57 am

      Hi Diana,

      it’s a positive response.. You could have followed up another topic and then ended after two replies.. have you texted him again?

  2. Andrea

    May 22, 2016 at 7:48 am

    Hi this is my situation,
    My ex and I broke up last September because he said it wouldn’t work with him at uni. We had no contact but after we spoke at least once a week and he told me how he loved me etc. Two days after my birthday (February) he told me he wanted to get back with me so we tried but then he’s been on and off with me saying he doesn’t know what he wants.
    A month ago he broke up with me (although that same week he rang me at 3am telling me how much he loved me and how I was the love of his life) and said it was time to move on so after NC I emailed him as he has me blocked everywhere yet I have had no reply.
    What shall I do?
    Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 26, 2016 at 10:05 am

      Hi Andrea,
      start with active no contact, so that he will have time to think and make him miss you by beung active in improving your life and yourself

  3. Anonymous

    May 16, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    I have been in no contact for three weeks. I was with my boyfriend for about three months, we made things official after one month. I was promoted at work in April, third month of our relationship and during this time, we were unable to see each other as much as we used too. We had a very healthy relationship, we were great together even complimented by others saying we looked great together, we were a good couple. We flowed nicely, the way it should be. We only had a couple fights (not too serious or full blown) but everything worked out, we had a rocky start but we worked through that too. We connected right away as we had so many things in common, never felt a connection like this before. I did everything for him and took him a concert of a singer he grew up too for his birthday. It was reciprocated as he did things for me too. We took care of each other. He began blowing me off to go party and drink with his friends on weekends then stood me up after making plans with me. I became angry and may have overreacted by unfriending and blocking him on facebook. He broke up with me the next day but something told me it’s not what he really wanted, he was really fidgety, touched my cheek and smiled at me with that smile. His break up text he ended in xoxo and so I went to talk to him but didn’t work out the way I had hoped that day. I went to speak to him to see but didn’t do any begging or pleading. I wanted to know why. I really just wanted to see how he would react. At the end, I accepted what he said gracefully and left. He called me around midnight about 4 days before the break up saying he was driving by (coincidence?), offering to pick me up saying he really missed me but I was in bed and had to work early the next morning so I didn’t go with him. Made plans with me that weekend then stood me up…can you really blame me for being angry? He had blown me off and then stood me up. I was looking so forward to spending time with him doing something we shared in interest. We are both outdoorsy people but winter restricted us from doing most of the activities we shared in common. We made future plans. I am in the third week of no contact. Leading up to this point, I have found no contact easy to accomplish. It is getting harder now as I am realizing how deeply I really felt for him but was too afraid to say anything. During the second week, he drove by my work, I got this feeling to look up from my desk and there he was driving by, I lost all control of myself as this very powerful surge went through me to the point I blanked out. I felt like I was in a fog. I couldn’t focus and people were talking to me and I just couldn’t hear them. I was spaced out. He drove by again later in the week, I was outside taking a breather and that feeling hit me again where I looked up and there he was driving by again. I understand that he may have been doing this to get my attention. I ignored it but a couple nights later as I was reading an article on my phone, I felt something take hold of me and I had the urge to call him, it wasn’t me wanting to do so, it was like this invisible force taking hold of me, like a resounding call me message. I resisted the urge somehow and didn’t give in. I told myself No, I will not give in. I hear when you get these overwhelming urges, it’s a sign you may have met the one. We are now in the third week, he has not even attempted to contact me, I am finding it hard to resist contacting him but know deep within it hasn’t been enough time to initiate contact yet. I feel connected to him, his thoughts and feelings on a deep level, not like anything I felt before. There have been many synchronocities between us. I have tried to come up with reasons as to why I shouldn’t love him but love is not about that, it’s about loving someone for their good and bad traits. I have even tried making up reasons (stories) in my head to hate him but it backfired on me. I want to hate him but I can’t because I love him. I want to hate him because I am afraid that I am going to lose him after all is said and done. I have been carrying on with my life as hard as it is to wake up some mornings to go to work, been going out with friends much to my despair. Am I wrong in thinking that he should be the one contacting me even though it could have been my actions he acted upon impulse to break up with me? It just seems he acted on his own insecurities and fears, thinking I was going to break up with him then decided to beat me to the punch and do it first. Said he was firm in his decision but it was like I could see the doubt in his eyes, and the fidgeting he did. And why the touch of my cheek and smile? I know I wasn’t too open about how I felt and can’t help but think, perhaps I didn’t say what he wanted me to say. Just to me, his actions were speaking a little louder and they weren’t actions of someone who wanted to break up permanently. It’s been three weeks now. I thought he would have made contact with me before this long. I feel as though he is testing the waters to see if I will break first like he is waiting to hear how I really feel. Does that make sense? Could he be doing the no contact on me to give me time and space to sort it out or could it really be over? During our rocky patch in the beginning, he was a frantic caller and texter, wouldn’t give me the space to think it through so I finally told him that I needed him to back off and give me space, to let me breathe and would contact him when I was ready to talk. I have always been that way with him, stood my ground. This time, there is nothing. I am not sure if it’s a good or bad sign. Am I doing this right? What are your thoughts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 24, 2016 at 7:26 am

      Hi Anonymous,

      I think he didn’t contact you because you said, you would like to be the one to contact him when you had a fight..

  4. April

    May 16, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    Hey,
    Me and my ex were in a ldr for 27 months. We broke up may last year, during some fight over the phone. It was like a roller coaster, we argued we talked nicely, we met a few times even in the other country that no one expected to see the other one. I went into NC period for a month and after that we started talking a bit better. After about 8 months, in January, we again started to see each other, he asked to come to my city, he wanted to talk about everything. We started slowly, both of us were so scared because of starting again and the distance because it’s not easy. We saw each other few times, he was really kind and tried so much, then we didnā€™t see each for about two months but we talked every day started to watch some tv show together and then saw each other again about 3 times in 3 weeks and then we talked about us. He was so scared, he was shaking, he said he is happy when he is with me but he hates the distance. I said ok letā€™s finish this forever, but he didnā€™t want to, so we agreed to be exclusive whatever we do. And when I was with him I truly saw he tried to work on things we fought earlier and he prepared me some little surprises, actually he didnā€™t do that for so long in our relationship and made him some surprises and worked on things we argued and he told me that he is surprised and glad to see that diference. We talked every day and he texted first and called more than I did, but then we didnā€™t see each other for about 3 weeks and we fought again and he broke up again the same way last year. He told me he doesnā€™t want to see me because he knows that if he sees me he will want to be together and he canā€™t and that I am his weak spot. The he said he doesn’t care anymore he wants gf from his city etc. Also, he said he doesnā€™t want to talk with me ever again. I tried to talk but it didnā€™t worked he was just saying I canā€™t I canā€™t. So I slowed down, we didnā€™t talk for two weeks and I donā€™t know how to approach him but just to talk, itā€™s like the same story goes again as the last year. And in January when we talked he told me he said every bad thing just because he was hurt and didn’t know what to do, he wants me but there is that distance and everything we went together. Can you give me some advice what to do next or can you explain me whatā€™s going on in his mind? Did he get scared because of the talk or he pissed off because of the fight? Oh, yes, he is 23 I am 20. Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 22, 2016 at 10:33 am

      Hi April,

      it’s more likely that he’s like that because of the fights.. it’s better if you started no contact

  5. Phoenix

    May 14, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    Not a completely failed no contact, but I’m confused…

    Iā€™m not sure how to proceed with my situation. Weā€™ve been broken up for two months now, which came out of nowhere with no warning signs. He just all of a sudden said he felt the need to be single and thinks he isnā€™t ready to give 100% to a relationship right now. Did 30 days of No Contact, then ran into him at the gym, which wasnā€™t as zen as I would have liked, but we caught up a bit and he reiterated again that he still wants to be friends after a slightly angry conversation (nothing huge, just some built up tension). Anyway, he said he would text me some time and that we are ā€œfriendsā€. Did another three weeks of no contact and then texted him last week something interesting about a show we liked. He texted me back the next day thanking me for telling him and asked how Iā€™ve been. I didnā€™t get to respond for a few hours bc I was at the gym, but never heard anything else other than that one text from him, but it was a positive response. I waited 5 days since I hadnā€™t heard a response and then texted him a remembrance text yesterday (nothing romantic, just something fun we did when we were friends before we started dating), but I havenā€™t heard anything back. What should I do now if I havenā€™t gotten a response at all? Do I wait a week, two weeks? What kind of text am I sending next… should I be waiting until we’re consistently texting to try with the remembrance text since he didn’t respond to the first one?

    1. Phoenix

      May 27, 2016 at 11:16 pm

      The morning before he goes to work seems to be the only time that’s really successful. You don’t think it seems strange at all to text him at 7 in the morning? I don’t want to seem like I’m chasing him.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2016 at 7:29 am

      just don’t text him a lot at first and thr topic has to be timely at that hour

    3. Phoenix

      May 21, 2016 at 3:15 pm

      Hi Amor!

      So I waited two weeks and sent him a text to pique his curiosity that was like “you will never guess what happened today” and he responded! He ended up responding to that text and then also the remembrance text from two weeks ago at the same time (he said he didn’t see the previous message until just then). Since then, he’ll text me some response every day, but it takes so long for him to text back (he has a job where he isn’t allowed to have his phone on him and usually goes straight to the gym where he can’t have it on him, so I’ll get responses at weird times like first thing in the morning at 7AM or randomly during the day around lunchtime). Because of this, we’re technically conversing, but it’s almost like it’s taken 4 days to have a normal length conversation. I’m confused how to keep proceeding. He will respond to my texts, it feels hard to really build attraction when it takes so long between each of our responses.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 26, 2016 at 5:48 am

      Try to text in those times so you wouls get a conversation.. if it’s before he goes to work, or after work or during lunch break

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2016 at 12:53 am

      Hi Phoenix,

      actually the remembrance text should be text when enough rapport is built.. since this your second attempt.. you should wait two weeks, and try a current topic that he’s interested, if he doesn’t reply that means you should move on.

  6. Carl Snyder

    May 13, 2016 at 10:38 pm

    Hi, I live with my ex and i have been committing to radio silence for the past 2 weeks. I was doing pretty well until today, I hugged him and told him i still had feelings for him. I’m not entirely sure what to do now, do i restart my radio silence or completely ignore him for 30 days?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2016 at 6:35 am

      Hi Carl,

      how did your ex respond?

  7. Anna

    May 11, 2016 at 6:36 am

    Hiya, love your website!

    Here’s my situation.

    I dated a widower for 3 months. It was a VERY intense relationship (practically together 24/7). He introduced me to his whole family and we even redecorated his apt together. Then he dumped me two weeks ago saying he was feeling guilty and needed more time to mourn (his wife passed away three years ago and I am the first relationship since his deceased wife. They had a beautiful relationship). He said he was so sorry he hurt me etc, really thought he was ready etc.

    The first few days we txted back and forth a few times. Just messages of support. I did make one mistake, I told him I missed him. He replied saying he missed me too but it would pass. He was being friendly, that’s all.

    Then I started NC. It’s been 10 days and he’s txted me twice asking about my life (doctor’s apt, a course I’m taking etc). I didn’t reply. Since then no more txts but he’s liking all my facebook photos, even commented once. He’s still connected to a friend of mine so he sees my photos when I’m with her.

    From all this I can tell he’s missing me.

    I realise it’s complicated with a widower but I truly believe we had such a powerful connection, it’s worth it seeing if we still have a chance.

    Should I do NC for the whole 30 days even though we dated only three months? Then I’ll send him a txt regarding the stuff I left at his place….

    Thank you so much, Anna

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2016 at 1:13 am

      HI Anna,

      Try to do just 21 days.. I hope it lets him reflect if he’s ready to have another go on relationships with you.

  8. Bad situation

    May 6, 2016 at 9:34 pm

    Hi hope this reaches you, I can’t find a situation like mine basically am pregnant (planned pregnancy witch we both planned) anyway before I found out we had a small fall out witch ended in us braking up and with in a day he was dating someone else. Anyway he wanted something to do with baby witch you would expect but after a arugument with his ex (mother of his first child not the new girlfriend) he decided he didn’t want anything to do with the baby we are having! Shitty I know! So it’s been 3 weeks since 0 contact from both of us would you say I should admit defeat and move on? I know it’s not a full 30 days but he doesn’t even want the baby we planned never mind me šŸ™

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 8, 2016 at 1:57 pm

      Hi Bad situation,

      actually there’s a post about your situation..
      here it is:
      EBR 038: Pregnancy & Ex Boyfriends

      How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant

      it’s better if you check that out first and if you have questions don’t hesitate to ask..

      and also, avoid getting more stressed.. you have a blessing inside you..focus on that..

  9. tanya

    May 5, 2016 at 2:35 am

    so i ignored him for 30 days he messaged me 3.5 weeks in apologizing and I didn’t recognize the number so i asked who is was, when he said it was him i never responded to his apology. then a full month later he messaged asking to start over, but i still ignored him. and then the next day he blocked me!! can i still message him now and say im ready to talk and before i wasn’t becuz i still needed time to think about it. or should i just shoot a random intriguing text like they mentioned above. i feel like i have to explain why i didn’t message him back now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 8, 2016 at 3:08 am

      Hi Tanya,

      nope that would be awkward because he blocked you.. but have you sent a message?

  10. Ew

    May 4, 2016 at 9:40 pm

    Thanks Amor again. I did kind of screw it all up, as I did reach out to him, but then we did meet up yesterday. Still don’t know what to think, but guess will move to the what to do on a date article for that.. Thanks

  11. Destiny

    May 3, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    What if I sent a message to a friend and he saw the message I sent to my friend and it was about him? Would that mean I would have to start the non contact rule all over again?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 4, 2016 at 12:13 pm

      HI destiny,

      if it was accidental no. but if it was on purpose to deliver a message yes..

  12. Piyu

    April 29, 2016 at 11:56 pm

    I am in LDR with my bf, it’s been 2 years we were together and now 4 months in LDR, since we moved to different places our relationship is on again, off again. I have done NC for a month previously and several small NCs whenever there was problem in relationship. The thing is when I stop contacting, he knows that I am following NC rule and he does cross NC, it becomes a game for him. He is so pissed or so into the game or whatever that he doesn’t talk properly whenever I break NC and it goes on like this for several days. He is always ahead of me in whatever I try. I can’t manipulate him anymore. He knows exactly what I am going to do and how long will I take to come back.He has all figured it out.
    I love him so much, I want him to come and meet me but he refuses due to some work related issues and this is the root of our fights. I can’t go to his country, there are some visa problems with me. If I don’t bring up the topic of meeting, he is fine and talks everyday otherwise he is pissed and ignores me. Please tell how to get him back when I know NC will not work for me.

    1. Piyu

      May 8, 2016 at 3:29 am

      As per your suggestion, I tried to give him solution about our meeting and this is what he said: “I don’t see a future with you, I am going to marry someone my parents approve of, so why should I come to just sleep with you? It wouldn’t do any good to you.” I said ” you wasted my time” and he said” since the beginning I never said I would marry you”. He is right he never said he would marry me I just assumed that he would someday coz he really loved me. I was the one who initiated everything. So my question is I have already abused NC a few times in the past, he dumped me which I already knew would happen, now what?
      what should i do? I have started NC again, it’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard from him. He blocked me on whatsapp, I blocked him too but I am so broken, I can’t live without him. My clock is ticking, I am too old to find anyone else but that’s not the reason I want him, I want him coz he is the one, I love him and I doubt I will love someone else like this ever.
      Please help me, tell me how to get him back forever? I dont know what to do except to pray, nothing is helping me right now. Every day I hope that he would try to reach me and I am proved wrong, it breaks my heart. Please help.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 9, 2016 at 2:22 am

      I don’t want to sound like blaming you but that’s not actually a solution.. it’s more like you were blaming him and gave him an ultimatum.. it’s manipulative.

      what I meant was, suggesting what could be done because he’s busy at work… like

      “I understand you’re busy at work, and I’m proud you are responsible! So, just shoot me message in your more available times in the day and we’ll make the most out of it during video call or chat.”

      and also nc is meant for you to grow, not just for him to think.. It’s not a solution to a problem.. So, it really won’t work if there’s no change in you.. especially if you didn’t become independent and confident.. right now, you’re showing that you want to control him and that you’re insecure.. it’s not healthy for the relationship and not healthy mostly for you.. if it’s months before your parents set you off to marry somebody else, then focus on improving yourself during nc.. if it’s day,ask them for a little more time.. tell them you need for yourself and for your future husband too, so that you will bring more honor in the family by working on yourself first..

      Love yourself first.. picture somebody you want to love and be that person..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 12:16 pm

      Hi Piyu,

      the more you do nc, the less the effect.. so whenver you get back, you really have to address the issue and work on it instead of doing nc every time there is a problem.. you need to address the problem and propose solution whenever you have a problem.. like right now, tell him you understand the problem, and then tell him the solution…

  13. np

    April 28, 2016 at 3:55 am

    Can you ask for advice without joining a public forum?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 7:09 am

      Hi NP,

      you can send an email if you want.. you can send it at [email protected]

  14. Love

    April 25, 2016 at 4:52 pm

    Hello!

    I have a question regarding to NC period..I had just started 5 days ago and I have not contacted my ex boyfriend..However, he has texted me 2 times and also send me a voice note.. we use the whatsapp application and so I have not been opening his texts because if I do he can see that I read his texts..well my question to you is..is it ok to open up the texts anyways to see what he has to say? even though i will not answer back? I did get a chance to see the first 2 texts without opening the messages..he was asking for me to bring him 2 items that I had washed for him and also a phone number of this lady..when i did not reply the second day he texted me.. hi. could you please answer? This morning I woke up and he send me a voice note..so I just want to know if it is ok if he sees that I am reading his messages but just not responding

    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 27, 2016 at 5:55 am

      Hi Love,

      yes it’s ok to read them šŸ™‚

  15. kungfupanda

    April 24, 2016 at 12:30 pm

    my bf and i dated for 1 year and few months… i quite my job and visited him in us in dec… i broke-up with him and came back in a month because we used to fight. we fought because he had his profile on matrimony site. after i came back he still had it on… i maintained the NO Contact period for a month and few more days and he messaged me… we started dating but he said he s not too sure about me.. i told him that we will try to change and not fight.. it did not work and we fought again. i pleaded him to not to leave me but he did and he blocked me and all my folks(family and friends) including me on 1st april 16… since then i havent spoken to him or heard anything about him… please suggest what i must do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 26, 2016 at 3:16 pm

      Hi Kungfupanda,

      start the count of no contact after reading this because even if you haven’t spoken, you weren’t active in healing yourself. The truth is you’re the chaser, and you have to regain your self esteem now. You can’t force him to change his mind but you can control yourself to see what the reality is. If he doesn’t like you then accept it because if you don’t, you’re delaying the time to meet the guy who will truly love you.

  16. Heartbreak

    April 18, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    Hello,

    My boyfriend broke up with me today as we were having some long distance issues. I also found out that he had been sending flirty messages to another girl while things weren’t so good and then he told me he didn’t feel the same love for me and wasn’t ready for a relationship right now. What do i do? Do you think it’s even possible to get him back? i’ve never felt this way for someone before and i don’t want to let him go. I want to send him a letter but is that gonna screw up my chances of a successful ncr?

    Please help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      hi heartbreak,

      yes, it’s better if you don’t send it

  17. Heartbroken

    April 16, 2016 at 6:07 am

    Hi ebr team,

    I have bought the ncr & texting bible books but havent got around to finishing it. But ive tried to start on nc and lasted 5 days. Last night i got too drunk and ended up drunk calling my ex and now I don’t even rmb our whole conversation but i think i rmb him saying smth about me moving on with a new guy I’m seeing and that he would block my number. He has not tried to reach out to me even after that either. What should my next move be now? Please help.

    1. Heartbroken

      April 19, 2016 at 8:46 am

      Hi amor, thanks for the quick reply.

      We did have small talk that day when I called him about picking my stuff up and he ended the call after the small talk.

      And just today, i noticed he has deleted all traces of me (our photos) from his instagram. Just 2 days ago he liked a photo of me and my friends on facebook too. He hasn’t blocked or unfollowed me, and still looks at my story on snapchat (snapchat now has an autoplay function so i presume he isn’t making it a point to make it seem like he is avoiding my updates, and just allowing it to autoplay), while i am doing my best to avoid opening it. I haven’t opened his story on snapchat in days.

      What do you think I should do?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 21, 2016 at 9:52 am

      just be civil and continue focusing on nc.. don’t block him nor erase your photos online

    3. Heartbroken

      April 18, 2016 at 6:18 pm

      He reached out to me that day wanting to return me my belongings (I brought it up couple of times before) So what if I actually do need to speak to him to get our stuff back from each other? Do I restart count from the final encounter?

      It has been over a month since we broke up, we communicated in the first 3 weeks trying to “work things out” which led to him distancing further to the point he has said that he has not considered getting back together, and now no longer wants a relationship at all. He seems to have moved on and has no regrets whatsoever or isn’t even upset that our relationship has ended, and only insists he feels guilty. Do you think it’s too late now?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 8:02 pm

      if it’s about things, it’s ok..you don’t have to restart count, as long as you don’t have a small talk. I think it’s still early to say..

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 6:11 am

      Hi Heartbroken,

      you should restart count on nc..

  18. k

    April 16, 2016 at 12:14 am

    My boyfriend of two years and I broke up 28 days ago. His decision. For me, it was very unexpected as there was no inclination whatsoever that his feelings were changing and/or we were on the verge of a breakup. Since it was such a shock to me I initially texted him like crazy. I begged, pleaded, tried to rationalize things to him. And all of my attempts to make him “realize” he was making a “mistake” we’re met with responses from him saying there was nothing I could do to change things now. I had decided about 14 days into our break up to initiate NC. Six days into it , he texted me saying that he missed me. That I was too important not to say anything to and that he was hearing about me daily from family and friends. I did not respond….until two days later. Which I obviously know NOW was a mistake. I broke down again and said things I shouldn’t have said (along the lines of pleading for him to change his mind) and when I realized that he wasn’t going to I chose to really commit myself to a 30 day NC period. I suppose my question is , do I still have any hope of this Nc period being effective especially now that it has pretty much been a whole month since we have been broken up and only four days since my “second” round of NC? I guess I feel like I have already ruined my chances because for pretty much 20 out of the 30 days we haven’t been together I was insesintly contacting him.

    1. k

      April 18, 2016 at 10:26 am

      The night that I had posted this to the page , my ex texted me (again only four days into my no contact period) but all the text said was “Hey”. Obviously I didn’t respond as I am truly honoring my 30 day NC period but now it has been two more days and he said nothing more after that. i guess I’m just confused and need a little extra guidance …

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 3:04 pm

      it’s ok if he doesn’t text..I think he may understood that you’re taking time for yourseld

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 18, 2016 at 4:55 am

      Hi K,

      it looses it’s effect if you keep repeating it but it’s just the second, so, just make the most of it.. Make it worth it for yourself to build confidence too.

  19. RAFAA

    April 13, 2016 at 6:48 am

    Hi

    I had an online relationship with a guy that lasted for one month and a half however he thought am cheating on him and talking to other guys but i was not!!!! he didn’t listen to me at all and refused to answer me. he was so rude with me! he said whatever u say am convinced that u were with someone else coz he sees me online all the time on whatsapp although i showed him am talking to my family! its a long distance relationship and i was planning to see him in July. he hasn’t blocked me on whatsapp although he threatened me to do it if i didn’t stop pleading. He keeps changing his whatsapp picture and staying online till late times so, is there another girl! he didn’t unfriend me on facebook as well why?! please tell me what to do am so into him and i wanna see him and give me a chance šŸ™

    1. RAFAA

      April 14, 2016 at 6:49 am

      also he didn’t block me and he keeps on changing his whatsapp picture why?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 14, 2016 at 12:45 pm

      For me you should avoid him..
      if he changes his picture with different looks or person then that means he might be using different identities.. maybe he didn’t blocl or unfriend you because you’re not bothering him

      if you really want to try, do nc first try it for two weeks and show him in your posts that you’ve moved on..don’t caption it with anything that relates to the breakup or him… so when yiu message him, you won’t appear to be chasing

    3. RAFAA

      April 14, 2016 at 6:47 am

      Ok, how can i get him back though please?
      We were just fine until some misunderstanding happened! he used to run after me and then we had a fight and i stopped talking to him for 2 days. when he came back trying to soothe things i pushed him away in attempt of trying to make him chase me. he thought am so arrogant and he left me šŸ™

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 14, 2016 at 5:26 am

      Hi Rafaa,

      I hate yo say this, but you don’t know him.. that can just be his way of getting rid of you, because his reason is so irrational

  20. Mystique

    April 12, 2016 at 2:18 am

    Hi Amor,

    I broke up with my boyfriend and started no contact, 5 days into NC , he called me and i answered his call and we spoke for hours each day the next 2 weeks. We had another conflict and i decided i woud carry out my NC with discipline, which i did. It is now 31 days of NC and he hasnt once called or texted. What could be the reason and what should i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 13, 2016 at 7:26 pm

      Hi Mystique,

      I’m not sure why but since your nc is finished, it’s ok if you’re the one to initiate contact.

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