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Post categories
Mike
February 7, 2017 at 8:44 pm
I want my ex back but she said it would be best to go our separate ways but I been there for her and I also hurt her. How can I get her back
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2017 at 12:19 am
Hi Mike,
do you want to try the no contact rule?
amy
January 30, 2017 at 8:37 am
Hai Amy here
me and my bf friend date for almost 6 month .Our relationship seems to go with the flow.but after a month .he try to backing off from me.and he refuse to call me.i asked him he say he want time to be relax and want a break because of over tension and stressed.I ask help from his friend to talk to him ,,his friend told me something bad about him..his pass life ..i get shocked and ask him. and i also send his some hurtful messages to hurt him…he only say one thing “i never want you back in my life”.he also block me in all social media and calls from my parent …what should i do…i really miss him and pleas help…..
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 30, 2017 at 3:18 pm
Hi Amy,
are you going to do the no contact rule?
Aarya
January 24, 2017 at 8:57 am
Me n my bf were together for a year and I always had a complaint tht he could nvr find tym for me but we managed after sometime we met one day and I read his sextext to some other girl I was devastated n we had a fight (I was the one crying n screaming) he didn’t say except apologising I forgave him n decided to start fresh n NXT day he dumped me …. Blocking me in every possible way .. he unblocked me after a friend convinced him .. but he kept ignoring all my questions giving me no reason for what he did .. he refuses to talk abt it to anyone … I really want him back … Why is he doing this to me ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 25, 2017 at 10:00 am
Hi Aarya,
if he has been ignoring you or lacking time recently then that means he’s not that interested anymore and he just used the recent event as excuse to break up..Are you going to do the no contact rule?
Susan
January 20, 2017 at 3:16 am
Me and my boyfriend hav a son 9months old …i have it difficult to understand him.He say he loves me nd after few days he hates me just like that out of the blue.He wld complain about how bad i am at sex but would be the first asking for it nd when i dont he gets upset…sometimes he is very rude nd has no way of talking to me .. i try so hard to understand him but i cant.He would text me things like he cant wait for us to get married nd after a few days he wld say that he will be happier alone nd when i ask him if he wants to be alone he wld say i can leave if i want this is all confusing for me .. does he even love me ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 21, 2017 at 3:03 pm
Hi Susan,
how old are you both and how long have you been together?
Lisa
January 19, 2017 at 8:03 pm
We are most likely older than the others in this conversation. I am 51 and he is 56. We have been dating for 2 1/2 years and we were planning on moving in together in the spring of 2017. Exactly 6 months ago, there was a huge blow up. We were at a party and my daughter age 24, stated she saw him kiss another woman. I was so taken back and we were all at this party (drinking was involved). I said nothing, my daughter made a big of it and he denied it and left. My daughter and I return to his beach house approx. 1 hour later to find my bags packed in front of the bedroom door. I confronted in (without yelling) and he denied all of it. But his last response was it wouldn’t matter anyway as we aren’t exclusive, which took me back. My daughter and him got into a huge argument. He left in the middle of the night and the following morning, I tried opening his locked i-pad which I would have never done and I got the password right the first time. I found that he has been cheating on me with numerous women and he was on several dating sites. But the strange thing was I was the one who attended family events with him. I was the one at the beach house every weekend and I was the one going on vacations with him. We have not seen each other in 6 months and have not spoken. I texted him on Christmas and his birthday, he responded and said thank you. I know that he has been dating and so have I. I was away with the man that I am dating for New Years and had a horrible time and I couldn’t wait to return. I think about my ex all the time and miss him so much. When we would go away we always had a great time and there have been times that we extended our trip because we didn’t want to leave. I texted him and he responded about how much he misses me but stated that my daughter ruined everything. I told him via text, that our relationship has nothing to do with her and that time heals all wounds. I also suggested that we talk. He told me that he thinks about me all the time and more so when he is out with other people and I told him “me too”. I have not heard anything since. I do believe in forgiveness and I am willing to give this a second chance especially at my age and we have a couple years invested into this relationship. I have been divorced for over ten years and it has been a long time since I found happiness and someone that I was compatible with. I don’t know what to do. Do you think we have a chance or am I wasting my time.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 21, 2017 at 1:08 pm
Hi Lisa,
when did you last text him?
Susan
January 18, 2017 at 7:03 pm
Hi, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last 6 months. The last two or three weeks I have noticed how cold and distant he has become. Yesterday I posted on Facebook that I was checked in at a hospital as I had fainted at work. He rang me a couple of times in the evening. Eventually I spoke to him. He was so angry. He said why didn’t you call me or ring me if you were ill. Then said I know exactly what you were doing by putting that up there and I have deleted you from Facebook. I said you weren’t talking to me. He replied and I’ll never talk to you again. So I said if it’s over then I don’t I deserve you telling me to my face. He said I need to go and I’ll ring you back in a minute. He still hasn’t called. Should I do the non contact strategy?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 19, 2017 at 6:01 pm
Hi Susan,
I think you should just let him cool down..check this too:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming
Lisa
January 17, 2017 at 3:50 pm
My boyfriend and I dated for 7 months. We used to fight about not Coming to see me or no wanting to hang out with me. After a miss understanding yesterday with me crying over the phone,my mum heard me n spoke with him over the phone. He agreed everything with my mum n was cool with me. After he said talk to u later n he hang up. And send me a massive message. he break up with me. Saying: This obviously indicates that u are still young. And I’m sorry but I’m going to have to end what we have. In no way should I be told how to be in a relationship. Your mum obviously doesn’t know my side of the story. I hope. You have a great life and I’m sure I will see u around sometime. I had a great time being with u and you know I care about you. But things r just getting too much for me. I truly wish u the best. This message hurts me a lot. Whenever I read it. Does it mean he’s gone forever? Or don’t want to have anything with me? I send him message on FB he seen it but didn’t reply back. Message he didn’t reply back as well.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 17, 2017 at 8:54 pm
Hi Lisa,
his ego was hurt.. do you want to try the no contact rule?
Victoria
January 16, 2017 at 2:15 am
Hi there. My now ex boyfriend and I were together for 10 months. It was the most amazing time of my life. Within the first 4 months of dating he told me that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and he wanted to marry me. Naturally I was thrilled to hear about this because I had fallen so hard for him and loved him with everything I had in me! We would talk everyday and would spend tone together as much as possible. (At the time I worked day shifts and he worked nights) but we would still find time to see each other on the weekends. He would always take me out and he treated me like a princess. I would also try to spoil him as much as I could by surprising him with dates etc. We never fought! We only had minor disagreements and they never resulted in anger or frustration with each other and they would always get resolved. He told me he loved me everyday and took me to meet his family shortly after dating. He would ask me things like where do you want to get married? Or what season would you prefer to be married in? Or even say my name and replace my last name with his and tell me he loved the sound of that. 10 months later I was at his house waiting for him to get home (he gave me a key) He came home from work and I could tell something was wrong. I though it had something to do with his work because he was waiting to hear back from a possibly promotion and I just assumed that he didn’t get it. I asked him to sit down and talk to me and he started the conversation with ‘you and me…’ And I knew where it was going after that. He said that he is not happy and that he’s very stressed and that he feels terrible that he can’t spend very much time with me. He said I deserve someone who will spend more than a couple hours with me on the weekend. He said that he loves me and that I’m perfect and we’re perfect together, but he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I was devastated! My heart was completly shattered! The man I thought I was for sure going to marry left me. I didn’t contact him at all until a few weeks later and just asked if he was happier without me and he said not without me he’s just a lot less stressed without a relationship. I asked him of he ever thought we would get back to that place and he said I don’t know. I just don’t think I’m ready for any kind of relationship with anyone. I’m trying to give him his space and not contact him, but all I want to do is talk to him and have him back. He’s struggled with depression in the past so I’m really worried about him because this is very much out of character for him. His parents even told me that they thought for sure we were going to get married and they didn’t see our breakup coming at all. What do I do? Is this just a phase or will this be permanent? I don’t want him to forget about me. I’m not desperate by any means but I desperately want him back.
Victoria
February 5, 2017 at 6:58 am
I haven’t heard anything from him should I try to contact him? Or should I stick with the no contact rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2017 at 9:51 pm
if you target 3 months of nc, stick to it..
Victoria
January 23, 2017 at 9:27 am
I’m not trying to rush this process at all because I know it will take time, but how long should I wait until I move on if he doesn’t come back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 23, 2017 at 5:52 pm
it depends on your standards and what you know about him. For me, if I was in yoir situation, maybe 3 months or less..
Victoria
January 21, 2017 at 7:18 am
Thank you so much for your help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 22, 2017 at 4:43 pm
you’re welcome!
Victoria
January 20, 2017 at 5:36 am
Do you think this will be permanent?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 20, 2017 at 3:37 pm
focus in yourself..continue imoroving yourself because that can help to inspire and attract him..
Victoria
January 19, 2017 at 2:13 am
And what do I do?
Victoria
January 19, 2017 at 1:16 am
OK. Do you think this is permanent?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 20, 2017 at 3:26 pm
no of course not..
Victoria
January 17, 2017 at 2:37 am
Not at this particular moment I don’t think. He doesn’t have a great relationship with his parents and hides all of his emotions from them which he never did with me. So that’s where my concern lies.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 17, 2017 at 5:21 pm
well you have to inform them because it’s great that you’re concerned but you’re not his crutch.. if you want you can check on him but if it’s apparent that he doesn’t want to talk and he wants to handle things on his own, let him.. Dont baby him.. unless he’s suicidal
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 16, 2017 at 7:05 pm
Hi Victoria,
I think it’s more.of depresssion..His parents are there, so.don’t worry too much.. Is he getting professional help?
Gabbie
January 16, 2017 at 1:09 am
My ex and i had a small fight and i got so mad. He told me that if i won’t stop then he’ll break up with me and i dared him to. The next day he told me that we should break up. But before our fight happened it felt like we were really okay. I apologized and even begged for him to take me back (that was before i read about the nc rule). I asked if it was okay for me to expect from us again and he said no. “How are you supposed to move on if you’re still expecting?” I’m now on my second day of nc and i will keep it up. I wish he would miss me because it feels like he doesn’t know if he still loves me or not.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 16, 2017 at 6:21 pm
Hi Gabbie,
how long were you together?
Taylor Gleason
January 15, 2017 at 12:45 am
My boyfriend and I broke up a month and a half ago. We broke up because I told another one of his friends I would hook up with him if me and my boyfriend weren’t dating. I said this 4 months before he actually broke up with me. He says I really hurt him and that he can’t look at me the same. He says he still loves me but can’t date someone who said that to someone else. As soon as we broke up I begged and begged to get him back. That never happened. So we still hung out until I told him I was officially done talking to him. Of course still being in love with him I didn’t mean it. So he had to leave for college in a week so I decided to hangout with him a lot before he left. We went out to see a movie, hungout at my house with my family, and saw him on the day he was leaving. He said he still loves me and will miss me when he is away. We talked everyday for the first week he was gone but I keep getting too worried he is going to hookup with someone. Eventhough we aren’t dating. He is a very shy guy and I was his first girlfriend. I am more outgoing and he keeps thinking I want to hookup with his friends but they hit me up. I don’t even text him back or usually say no. Today his friend accidentally called me on snapchat and he got so made. He said theres no way by accident and I must have been talking to him before, which isn’t true. He told me that we won’t get back together because he doesn’t think he will ever forget what I said to his friend. He also doesn’t want to date in college but hopes to get together after college. He is really hurts but still loves me. He has said he wasn’t going to talk to me again but texted me back in a few hours or answered my texts. He didn’t text me back the whole day. I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and he does the same but he won’t date me until he gets over this. I also don’t know why he won’t respond to my messages. I sent him 4 texts in a row but I never asked if he was serious done with me or was just saying that. Should i ask him if he is really done? He is at school right now and we plan to hangout over summer but I want him to get over my mistake before he gets back. What should I do? I am so upset.
Taylor Gleason
January 15, 2017 at 11:15 pm
I have cut all ties off with the friend a long time ago. I haven’t tried the no contact rule but I will. I am just really scared he won’t get over this little thing. It really crushes me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 16, 2017 at 6:13 pm
if you look like you’re moving in, and doing better, there’s a chance that he will realizw that he has to move on fron that too
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 15, 2017 at 4:57 pm
Hi Taylor,
I think you should cut all ties with the friend and try to do the no contact rule..check this one:
Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)
Dina
January 14, 2017 at 10:41 am
hey,
I and my ex boyfriend broke up almost year ago. but we daily talk as friends. i still have feelings. He usually do flirt with me. He always talk nicely and have fun. But suddenly in conversation he get cold. And yesterday he mentioned “You will never change, you will fight again”
I need help to let him believe that i am not the older one.
Dina
January 18, 2017 at 11:24 am
we are good since two days, last night I confessed my feelings to him. We planned marriage. and in morning he start giving excuses for not marry me.
what kind of man he is?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 18, 2017 at 8:17 pm
I think he’s confused..
Dina
January 16, 2017 at 4:36 am
Thank you so much for your response.
he said me we have to understand each other. I did now we are in good terms. Just as friends. And he still flirts, calling me funny names, and fun with me. And he now keep sending me his pics daily. He ask about my pics too. I guess he send his pics to other girls too.
he giving me hopes that we will live together and have life. Is this guy gonna committed to me ever?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 16, 2017 at 7:38 pm
well,..hmm..if he keeps getting what he wants without commitment, he wont..
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 14, 2017 at 4:29 pm
Hi Dina,
are you going to do the no contact rule? if yes, then do at least 30 days and then focus in changing
Amal
January 12, 2017 at 3:25 pm
Hey, I’m so glad I could finally reach out to someone for advice. Please help me out :'( I’m soo confused 🙁
My bf and I were in a relationship for 5 yrs and we were about to get engaged when we broke up. It was a long distance relationship, it was perfect for 3 yrs, we just had the usual arguements, but after that we got admission to college and the distance became more. I became really agitated and used to bug him for attention all the time. He tried his level best, but I wanted to talk and he couldn’t do it much coz he was in the hostel.
There was this other guy in my college who had a crush on me, so I became friends with him. I told my bf about him as well. He knew that we hung out together, but then he started asking me for space when he got tired of me being friends with another guy, and when I wanted to talk and he couldn’t do it. So, I took that to heart when he said, “I’m not sure if I want to be with u”. And so I left him.
Later after 5 months he pleaded me to come back. I told him no. Then I went back after another 2 months and he said no, I’m talking to other random girls now. So it broke my heart and I became distant. So we had like 7 chats after that and the break up had been extended for 1.5 yr, then he wished me on my birthday like 6 months back. He wrote, “I wish we could have worked things out”. I obviously love him, and I’ve never moved on, neither has he, so I tried talking him again, and I’ve been texting him continuously for the past 6 months. He replies with sometimes no, then he says okay we can try, then he says I’m not sure, then back again to no. I even took a flight to his city and wanted to talk to him, but he said we’ll just look at each other from a distance and then u should leave. So I left again. How can I make him say a Yes ? He’s seems confused and scared despite my million text messages explaining him the things that he did wrong and what I did wrong. And he said, “I forgive you, but I need time and the more you push me, the more I’ll revert back”. Please help me :'( I feel so horrible and broken :'(
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 13, 2017 at 2:10 pm
Hi Amal,
I think you need a longer no contact period for a restart. And then after that, don’t ask right away to get back together, take it as a… restart. That means, you have moved on from the previous relationship. Forget about that and then when you start talking again, just be friendly at first. Don’t go like, can we be friends so we can start over? Just do it. Talk, have nice conversations through text and then calls and then later meet ups. Commonly we only recommend upto 45 days but you’ve already done months of nc before. So, I think you need to do 6 months or more and then just focus in improving yourself.
Jenna
January 11, 2017 at 10:00 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me three months ago because we’d been fighting alot and it was getting exhausting. He suggest counseling so we went to several sessions, but ultimately, at the end of December, he decided that he wanted to just be by himself and work on getting his shit together (saving money, getting a house, etc.) I said I understood (after all, I’ve had two months to cry and nag him already and I was waning out of that phase) and we parted amicably. He says that he still loves me and cares deeply for me and that because we ended on a good note, he would like to maintain contact as friends for now, and possibly get back together in the future. He still talks about a future with me such as “after I get my own place, and if we’re back together, you can move in with me…” We hung out several times since then and he always repeats this to me. However, he also tells me that we see each other too often (once a week) and that we should take more space apart. We also haven’t been sleeping together because he says that it will stir up too much emotion. My question is…if we’re trying to rekindle a relationship (not immediately of course), wouldn’t you want to spend time with the person? I haven’t pressured him to get back into a relationship with me at all in any instance. Am just not sure why he thinks we need more space apart if I’m only seeing him once a week and barely text or call him to begin with.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 13, 2017 at 11:37 am
HI Jenna,
even if it’s just once a week, he’s still assured that you’re not going anywhere. And he didn’t actually say you’re working on the relationship now, he said someday.
Julia
January 9, 2017 at 10:58 pm
Okay well what do I do now? He obviously still loves me because he said that he does. We basically broke up because he thought I was too clingy but he never told me that I was doing anything wrong in the relationship or that he was unhappy so the break up felt like it came out of nowhere. It’s not like I cheated on him or something. There has to be some kind of hope I mean I know that I can change and be better but he just doesn’t believe me. What do I do? I’m hoping that when I text him after no contact I’ll get a positive response. The main issue was just lack of communication.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 10, 2017 at 8:15 pm
Because saying that you would change, is just trying to convince somebody without actually doing it. For someone to believe what you say, you have to do it instead of saying it. If you didn’t start doing that in the last 16 days, restart the count. Aim to be the ungettable girl. Check this link:
The Ungettable Girl
Sephorah Alouidor
January 9, 2017 at 3:45 pm
My ex boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. We were so in love but we fought a lot. I am a jealous person and it didn’t help in our relationship. One day, he told me he didn’t feel the same with me anymore. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He still loves me but it lowers. I told him I would wait for him if he needed space. But he told me he will be having fun with other girls. 2 days after, he told me that he didn’t me love anymore and That I have to move on. I am wondering if it’s true. I can’t believe that his feelings changed because he is the man of my life. I am feeling depressed because I love him so much and I want him back. He didn’t tell his friends that we broke up and I found it strange. I tried to do the NC rule but after 2 days, I couldn’t take it anymore. We used to talk everyday and we still do it. Currently, I have a lot of personal problems and he told me that he is there for me. He still texts me like we are friends but I just love him And I need him. I feel like I have to talk to him everyday. Do I have a chance of us being back together?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 9, 2017 at 7:10 pm
Hi Sephora
if he lost attraction fell out of love with you, being needy will not help get him back…
nanna
January 7, 2017 at 3:06 pm
i have been seeing this guy for 2 months, initially went we met, we talked about our pans and hoping to be perfect for each other for the future. Then we had sex and never stopped having sex, we stopped talking about other things except sex- i admit i wanted more sex. Then i begun falling for him. recently days after our sex, he started acting cold suddenly, he says he feels i’m only interested in sex and nothing more and that i’m usually cold whenever we are not having sex, so he called it quit. I have tried to talk him for another chance for everything with him but he says hes moved on and i should do same. I want him back, what can i do?
Taylor Gleason
January 14, 2017 at 11:53 pm
I think you should try the no contact rule and start to move on. If he comes back then you know he actually has feelings for you. It sounds like he doesn’t have feelings.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 8, 2017 at 8:53 am
Hi Nanna,
if you want, try the no contact rule first
Julia
January 7, 2017 at 2:42 am
What if my ex boyfriend said, “I’m sorry but I don’t think there will be a second chance.” What does that really mean? He texted me that and he also texted me that he still loves me but he knows he can’t be with me and when I asked why he said because I’m not the type of girl he wants……that hurt. When I asked what type of girl is it that he wants he texted back, “it’s not you.” By the way he broke up with me in a text message. He always answers my texts though and we broke up about 33 days ago and I’ve been in no contact for 16 days.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 8, 2017 at 5:52 pm
Hi Julia,
that means he fell out of love, he lost attraction and desire..
Vanessa
January 3, 2017 at 3:07 am
My boyfriend broke up with me a couple of months ago after he started going to college. Two months later, he texted me saying he wanted me back. We even met up and talked and he kissed me. But then the day after that, he told me we shouldn’t get back together-his excuse was because he was afraid of what our families would think. A few weeks later, he said he was still in love with me and told me to tell him if I didn’t want him so that he wouldn’t always be chasing me. But then he stopped texting me first. He stopped admitting things. His friends had told me a few things that he’s told them about me that weren’t true, and one of them told me this morning that he said I tried to get with him when we met up. I confronted him in a text message saying to stop telling them lies about me because I’ve always been there for him. He asked what he allegedly told them. I told him what they told me he had said, and his replies were nasty. He denied everything, said “About the stuff I said, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. So whatever. Goodbye then.” and then he said he was done trying to be friends, said we are officially out of contact now, and then unfriended/unfollowed me on all social media. Why did he do this?? I was not obsessive or mean, and I couldn’t have been a bother since I hardly ever text him. Why was he so quick to drop me??
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 5, 2017 at 6:34 am
Hi Vanessa,
probably because he’s not really sure that he wanted you back..
Heartbroken
December 28, 2016 at 2:46 am
My ex and I were together for 9 years and have two kids together
It’s been rough on us all
I have been diagnosed with cancer and I asked him to help me through it and he told me I have to get used to him not being in my life so he can’t help me
He sends the most horrible messages and says I am an embarrassment to my kids
I asked him to help me do my Hickman line on Christmas Day and he said no and to only contact him if it’s an EMERGANCY about our kids why is he hurting me this way ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 29, 2016 at 4:24 pm
Hi Heartbroken,
because he wants you to move on.. In his mind, you’re probably using your illness to get affection.. Which honestly for me, if he really doesn’t love you anymore, it’s better to not be caring and then give you false hope..but he doesn’t have to be rude..
Anon
December 24, 2016 at 6:51 am
So my boyfriend (Well ex now), we dated for just over 6 months, and we broke up 2 weeks ago because he needed a little space and time to get his life back together (He’s made a lot of bad choices recently and yeah thats all im gonna say). Well, we were still basically acting like a couple that whole time. I found out recently that he had tried (and failed) to get with one of his female friends during that weird half-relationship two-week period, and i, naturally, was completely enraged and said (on a post on facebook, i know, childish, i regret it wholly) something completely over the line and completely hurtful and unforgiveable. He told me that “I guess you have a chance as a friend, but I don’t think we can ever get back together”. Do you think there is a chance that i could ever get him back?
Also If i were to tru the ungettable girl approach, how would i do that. I have him on facebook and snapchat and his phone number, and I can’t just delete his contact on either of those without him thinking i tried to block him or something like that, and i have a pet peeve that i cannot leave notifications unseen. How would i do this????
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 11:34 am
Hi Anon,
That habit can be changed, because it’s yourself, you can control yourself.. If you really want to change, take control.. check this:
The Ungettable Girl