When Is It Too Late To Get Back With Your Ex?

72 thoughts on “When Is It Too Late To Get Back With Your Ex?”

Emi

December 28, 2019 at 11:05 pm

My ex and I were together for 3.5 years. We’ve broken up because I lied about meeting a friend who likes me. I tried my best to save our relationship but he wasn’t on the same page because he didn’t communicate well. I failed the NCR (no contact rule) and he said that pushed him further away. I didn’t understand NCR that time. He said he grew tired and will his feelings will never change. He is stubborn that he will never love me again no matter how much I change. How can I convince him to try again this time after giving both of us individual space? And how can I not be scared to try NCR?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 29, 2019 at 11:29 pm

To help you understand that No Contact is needed almost every successful client who has got their ex back has had to do a No Contact at the start of the process. You need time apart from your ex, you need time to work on yourself and you need time to let your ex miss you, think about you, and consider if they made a mistake losing you

teana

October 28, 2019 at 1:04 am

Hi Chris,
I am a single mom with 13yo son. with my ex- I had 2 months dating+7 mths relationship (4.5mths lived together) he was depressed with my son&me quarrels every week. he helped me to control my son&he ended up quarreled with my son. me&bf didn’t have major issues, but he said it’s relationship between my son&me. he can’t see the 3of us together,he can’t accept bcause of his bad trauma in childhood with his parents and he doesn’t want to experience the same thing again. so he decided to leave me. I begged him 4x, it’s almost 2 weeks. he keep saying No. he said he still care about me, but he has feeling maybe just as a friend. he told me he cried,because he feel sad to hurt me.he said,me&son already passed his comfort zone. Last thing i said, I didnt do anything good for him, so I will do what he wants: to end the relationship. he never reply. then i message him again, i said “i regretted with what i’ve said” he never reply.
is there any chance for me to get him back ?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 30, 2019 at 6:49 pm

Hi Teana, maybe for the time being focusing on working through the issues you and your son are having first before allowing another person into his life is best. As you were not together very long it will be hard to say yes he will come back but following the program does give you your best chance of getting him talking to you again starting with a NC of 30 days minimum

Ashley

October 21, 2019 at 4:11 pm

Hi there, I’m interested in purchasing your resources but I want to know if it would work, given my circumstance before I invest. I’m not sure which comments you decide to reply to but here goes…
I dated my boyfriend for right at a year and we were starting to get closer. Suddenly, he started pulling away. Next thing I know he was breaking up with me, telling me that he didn’t want kids or to get married. I was devastated and didn’t understand why, especially since we never really had those conversations before. At the time he told me that it was because he wanted to focus on his career but he said that he loved me tremendously. I couldn’t implement NCR. It was to hard. But whenever I’d text or call he’d always respond. The last time we met in person, he revealed that the real reason for the break up is because he didn’t agree with my family (who have been nothing, but nice to him but he’s morally conflicted due to differences in beliefs). He felt that we were getting closer to marriage and he knew this would be a conflict and he didn’t want to put be in a position to have to choose. This was like a knife to my heart. He also admitted he felt like he was making a mistake and he’d probably never find anyone he’d love as much as me. He admitted that he was having doubts. This gave me hope that he could change his mind. So I began calling & texting more, thinking that we could work on this. I never gave him the space he needed. We had one last meeting, after he pretty much said his mind was fixed and he wouldn’t budge on his feelings for my family. Again, still stating that I’m perfect for him, telling me I deserve the world and professing his love for me but washing his hands with it and not wanting to prolong the “inevitable.” I didn’t want him to leave. He stayed. We laughed. We cried but eventually he said I had to let him go. I love him and I feel that he’s the one. And I know that he loves me and I don’t think there’s anyone else. Do you think that your resources could help restore us or should I just move on?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 21, 2019 at 8:24 pm

Hi Ashley, so 100% The EBR PRO at least would help you as would the one to one coaching here. He is conflicted by his decision. So you need to ask yourself do you love him more than you love the idea of getting married? It is hard but there are sooooo many couples who are together a lifetime and dont get married but still have children. OR if he doesnt want children either then you need to consider do you really want them? IF you do then you need to stay true to yourself you want marriage and children. And then you HAVE TO do a no contact, become the ungettable girl and read as much as you can through the website to help you work on yourself and how to reach out to him when the time comes

WLD

October 19, 2019 at 2:31 pm

Hi Chris – I followed your “NC plan” to a T. After 1.5 months of no contact he reached out and wanted to meet up. The date was fun, and I was an improved-best-version if myself. No drama or brining up the past. At the end of the date on my way out he hugged me, started crying, apologized for everything and said I should take my things and that he’d always cherish the last 2.5 years together. I gracefully thanked him for the apology and then said goodbye. I’m so confused, he clearly cares and still enjoys my company. The date was his idea. Do I start no contact again, reach out, or just move on? It’s been a week and I haven’t heard from him. Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 20, 2019 at 7:54 am

Hey WLD, so where the date went great but he flipped back so soon. Fear may have gotten the better of him so he backed off. Id give it to day 21 and reach out with one of Chris’ texts to get him talking. This time don’t skip the value chain (texting -> phone calls -> meet ups )

Bonnie santillo

September 15, 2019 at 7:21 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up in april after being together for 4 yrs..we had trouble in the 1st year of our relationship . I guess you could say I cheated emotionally for 2 months .we were going to split and stayed together happily for 3 years after..we started to form a life together and talked about the future and retirement and vacations and a home..in over the winter of this year he was different not just to me but every one..everything seemed to be fine.till march and at the end of april he said it was over..I dont understand
..he said that he trusted me ..I did everything I could for the past three years and told him how much I loved him and showed him ..our relationship seemed better and what was missing was fixed…..I have worked on myself and had no contact at least for the past 2 months .. it’s going on 5 months..I’ve tried to reach out..I would love to talk with him and so he can see I am the same person he met….advise

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 17, 2019 at 8:41 am

Hi Bonnie, Read some of the articles about how to text your ex to get him wanting to talk to you

Nicole

September 6, 2019 at 1:15 am

My boyfriend broke up with me on August 30th because when he came back early from tne Navy, he thought I didn’t love him anymore. I was shocked and I didn’t say anything until after, I asked for a chance and he agreed. He wanted me to show him that I care, That I can put him first but later he changed him mind. He said to move on even though we both still love each other, he got a gf 2 days after which was his ex. We’ve been together for almost 2 years. I know love can’t fade so fast. I don’t know if I should keep trying and I don’t want to force anything.
We had a deep connection and loved each other. No matter what, we were together but when he got back from the Navy he wouldn’t talk to me as much anymore and I guess he couldn’t handle that I was getting stressed too. He had to get a job, a car, a home,etc. And i wasnt 100% there to comfort him. But also.. he got tired of lies. I cheated on him many months ago, by kissing this guy but I stopped and i knew it was wrong because around that time he had sex with another girl but i forgave him. Do i have hope? I know with all my heart, that we bring out the best in each other but because of all the stress and anger recently, he thinks he was never happy in the relationship. That he never stopped feeling a hole but i know that I helped him love himself more and be more happy. How can I show him I care? He has his ex back which she didn’t help him grow and he left her for me. He’s very stubborn and said he moved on but what we had, that should be impossible. We broke up twice before but they lasted a week and the other was 3 months. Since then, we were committed until he cheated and then i cheated… please help. He forgave me when i did cheat because i told him when it happened but i didnt tell him the full detail. And when he did cheat on me, he couldn’t remember the full detail.
Itati Lopez

August 30, 2019 at 8:27 am

Hey Chris,
Earlier this month my long-distance boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. He told me that he didn’t feel the same way about me and didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. He told me that he still cared about me and wanted to be friends but he just didn’t see a future with me. I begged for him to stay but ultimately settled on no contact. Only two days had passed before he texted one of my friends to send me a paragraph explaining that I was the best girlfriend he ever had and he was sorry that he didn’t love me. I resumed contact with him for the day but we agreed in the end to stop talking again. It’s been on and off since and I’m hoping I could win him back. We still plan on visiting in December but as friends, it would be the first time we meet. I feel as though I’ve messed this up too many times because not only did we break the no contact rule several times, but we’ve also had many moments of crying on the phone and me showing a lot of emotional instability. I am hoping that there’s something I could do to win him back, please reply! Thanks.
Eden

August 3, 2019 at 2:00 pm

Hey Chris,

Are you still there?:( pleaaaase reply

My ex and I broke up in the very beginning of February. After that I had a bit of a rebound fling for 2 months and then realized that I missed my ex. I texted him that I missed him and confessed that I was with someone else in the last two months (In an intimate way as well but only ever once in the 2 months). He was really upset with me because cheating is something he wouldn’t forgive either and he’s always told me that. However, I don’t really understand how that works because we weren’t together at the time and I apologized over and over and over again from the bottom of my heart because I made a mistake and I was truly sorry. I still am. I’ve tried the no contact rule a few times by now ever since May and he has come back to me a few times as well because it seems to drive him crazy when I ignore him. He would usually start video calling. He would usually start calling 2 days later in the beginning and then the gaps started to get a bit bigger and it would become 2 weeks. I eventually told him to stop calling if he can’t make up his mind about what he wants. He said he would stop and ended up staying away for a whole month. He followed me around one night and claimed that he wanted to see who I was with because he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else but doesn’t want me back either. “Ever” apparently. I asked him to block me on social media and he said he would but he never did. So I blocked him. It’s been 3 weeks now and he still hasn’t reached out. In total, it’s been 6 months since we’ve broken up. Even though I only really told him about the other guy 2 months later. So it’s been 4 months since he’s known. In May he said he’s forgiven, but he will never be able to look past what I’ve done. Which I don’t really know if that’s true forgiveness. But I feel like it’s too late and it’s killing me. It seems almost too easy for him to just walk away because I do know that he really loved me. How do you just walk away from 3 years just like that.
JUNIIR

July 23, 2019 at 2:39 pm

Hey Chris
I broke up with my g.f in April and 2 days later she started dating a friend of hers who is the complete opposite of what i am. I made a few mistakes like begging but only for a week
I took the 60 days no contact and she started snooping around a lot of places she knew i’l be at.
Until she i initiated contact at a mutual friend’s funeral last month.
She really seemed so interested to be talking to me but it was only for a short time before i ruined every little progress i had made by writing her a super sensitive letter
I admit, i tried not to act like i was trying to get her back but i poured out a lot of emotions which i now regret
Further more, a week later, l appeared at her door step asking if she was free sometime so we could talk as friends and ask a few questions pertaining our breakup as the main agenda but she was so cold
Now i feel like its too late to try to fix things as its been 3 months and she still is seeing this other guy…..
What should i do?
briana

July 23, 2019 at 1:02 pm

hey chris! one of the core values of my ex is chastity and we ended up going too far. He broke up with me because he feels the need to fix himself because of this. Is it too late for me to get him back?
Ale Torres

July 14, 2019 at 12:32 pm

Hi Chris, So I dated this guy for 1 year 5 months, but when we were 1 year I made a huge mistake and I disrespected my boyfriend, a guy kissed me in a party and I kissed him back for some seconds, then when I realized what happened I immediately letf and call my boyfriend (we are long distance but We both live in europe, and this happened in my home contry in America when I came for two weeks) and told him about it, the other problem was that I lied about it, I didnt said the complete truth, some days after I said a bit more and like a month after I sad the complete truth, I feel for him cheating would be that something he cant forgave, but he did forgave me, but then months passed and a guy forced me into a kiss in a club (I didnt kissed him back), I told my ex but I was so scared that again I didnt said the complete truth and some days later I did, I was just so scared, and for me cheating indeed is something unforgettable so I was totally confused and scared. Anyway, we moved on and all was ok, but some months after the time came closer wen I was comming to my home county for about two months, he started getting really insecure and really emotional and we started fighting a lot, I suggested a time and to break up because he was so unstable, having so many bad thoughts and nightmares about it, but he didnt wanted, until one time he said we should break up, I then realized I didnt wanted to loose this guy, I made a mistake and I begged but he didnt changed his mind, but we kept talking every day, we met 4 days before I came to my home country, 2 werw full of talking about it and ups and downs, the last two were nice, but when he took me to the airport he said he didnt wanted me to wait for him, because he didnt knew if at the wnd he would want to get me back, that he is scared he feels better without me and then not want to get back, I truly dont know what to do.
Ann

May 14, 2019 at 5:04 pm

Hi Chris,

Resuming very shortly what happened: I snooped into my BF email and regret it. My BF discovered it and I admit it and showed my regret. He asked me to leave and move out but things calmed down a bit and I stayed (we have been living together for a year and together for a little more than 2 years). A week later when I asked him if we could have a talk (together or with a 3rd person) about us after he would come back from a trip he got mad about the 3rd person idea and we fought and in a heated moment he told me to leave. Right now he is on a trip and I havent heard from him since he left. Im calm and hope after his trip he comes back with a different point of view.
Do you think I crossed his limit? Or did he react emotionally and with time there is still an opportunity for us?

Chris Seiter

May 14, 2019 at 11:28 pm

Hi Ann…..emotions can get out of whack easily in relationships. More calm, space, and time can be helpful to you both.

Anushree Saikia

May 7, 2019 at 6:26 pm

My ex was downright vicious to me when I tried to contact him after 44 days of no contact. He said some mean things about my character and threatened me not to contact him. I was astonished because I just wished him for some special occasion. The fact that I asked his best friend if they were dating spurred him on even more and he was even more vicious.

He says he is happy with someone else now he says and that broke my heart. I guess I did crush his core value when I asked for an open relationship and went forth with it. But after the first breakup because of the open relationship thing, 6 months later, he gave us another chance. 2 months later he broke up with me. Since then he has been aloof and has moved on completely. I was in contact until 44 days ago when I decided to try no contact. But he has now found a girl and is happy apparently.

Is there no chance of recovery?

Chris Seiter

May 7, 2019 at 7:53 pm

HI Anushree…you need not tolerate anyone who is abusive and treats you viciously. Your focus should be on your own emotional health and personal growth.

Alex

April 27, 2019 at 9:41 pm

Hey Chris!

I’ve been reading these posts for a little over 3 years now and I relate to this post very well. The ex-boyfriend and I broke up May 1st, 2016 and I’m still not over it.

The reason we broke up was because the fights were getting out of hand due to mood swings caused by a birth control I used to use. The first year was brutal given the fact that depression and anxiety controlled my life. The second year I was given antidepressants and thought I was normal but eventually I realized it was the birth control causing all of the problems and stopped taking it in January 2019. It turns out I was never in my right mind once I started taking it and now I am more happy and normal than I have been since we broke up.

During those 3 years, we talked on and off and considering it being during my dark times, it didn’t help me much. We stopped talking due to (mutual) disinterest, I guess, in November 2018. Just recently I added him back on Snapchat, he added me back right away, and now I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where I’m at on the triangle.

Prior to me being crazy, we were each other’s person. We are basically the same person in a good way and I haven’t found anyone that has come close to him since. I am now 23 and he is 26.

What should be my next plan of action? Possibly using Snapchat.
Cheryl

April 17, 2019 at 12:31 pm

Hi Chris. I dated this guy for 7 months and though we weren’t in an official relationship, we still shared many good times together. 17 days ago, we ended things because we felt that while we have something good, we also lacked alot of communication, which led to many small misunderstandings and we felt that it would be better to end things and because it could be better for the long run. He told me afterwards that he thinks we should distant ourselves as he needs space to cool off. I texted him 2 days after our breakup to tell him that I want to fight for our relationship because I truly believe that we can make it work if we just tried. But he did not respond. I then went NC on him for 2 weeks, and he reached out to me after 2 weeks by leaving me 3 missed calls. When I asked him why he called me, he told me that he just wanted to ask me how I am. I confronted him and asked him why he had to leave me 3 miss calls because I felt that he could have simply texted that. I then asked him a few questions to question his true motive of contacting me, and he insisted that he just wanted to know how I’m doing. I told him that I’m fine and asked him how he’s doing too, and if he has cooled off. He told me that he has, and so I asked him “what now?” and he asked me if I wanted to be friends with him. I told him that I would be up for it if he isn’t forming this friendship with me out of guilt for ghosting on me for 2 weeks, and if he’s willing to put in the effort to work on this. However since sending him that text, he has become unresponsive again and seems to have ghosted on me again. I am wondering now if I made a mistake ending my NC with him? I really like this guy and I would love to make this work if it’s possible. Why did he reach out to me only to ghost on me again? Is there still a chance with him or did I make a mistake being confrontational and telling him that I’m up to being friends with him? I would really appreciate it if you could help me out because I am truly frustrated and I just need some advice from you. Thanks for taking the time to read this!

Chris Seiter

April 17, 2019 at 2:02 pm

HI Cheryl!

Some guys just don’t know what they want or realize what is best for them. Give it some time and if he doesn’t come around, then consider implementing No Contact again, but fully this time arouond

Venus

February 21, 2019 at 3:51 am

Thank you Chris for the advice!!
However, should I initiate the contact first?

xxx

Chris Seiter

February 21, 2019 at 10:41 pm

Hi Venus….so yes, if your are implementing no contact, stay true to the Program, but after the NC period is over, my Program calls for you to initiate contact using a certain method. I discuss at length in my epic long flagship product “EBR PRO” and also the “Texting Bible” (355 pages).

Venus

February 14, 2019 at 3:25 am

Hey Chris,
(background facts : My Ex is a negative person with low self-esteem, I am always his positive energy, whenever he is upset or stressed. I will make little surprises for him to cheer him up, and talk with him and encourage him. All the gifts I give him are handmade. We lived together for a year, and during that year, we were aboard. It was at the beginning of the relationship and it was the happiest time of our relationship. After we came back to (Country A), we lived with our parents and stuff starts going spiral down. We are constantly apart and life got in the way. He is an extreme family man, and he loves and respects his family very much. As i recalled, for his last break up with his ex, his parents talked him out of the relationship because they think my ex is going emotionally crazy. )

My ex broke up with me last week (beginning of Feb), and he was on a trip with his family. The reason for the break up was because I said I had some doubt in the relationship regarding how we interact with each other’s parents. I proposed that he must work on it more, so that he could build a positive relationship with my parents. I also said that i understood he already did very well, but there were just some little minor stuff that he could improve on. I also said that because we just started working, our career path is very blurry, hence my parent couldn’t judge whether we could have a bright and comfortable future. He said he tried his best and he thought he was good, what I said really broke his heart and we needed a break.
After he said he needed space, I went begging and begging, I went crazy and said, its either a yes or no no break!. That literally pushed him to the edge and choose to break up with me. Afterwards, I proposed to him that lets talk when he comes back in town. We did managed to talk on the phone twice but the results were negative. Throughout the phone calls, he was so un-calm, and I told him to calm down because, with his temper, it would be impossible to continue this conversation. I also said that I will change my bad temper in the future. He said a week of thinking is not enough for him but my action just kept pressurizing him. He said he doesn’t even know how long will it take for him to “heal the broken heart I caused” and also said that if we’re meant for each other in the future, we will be back together one day (basically, if it happens, it happens, you cannot put a time limit on these things), and I accept. At the end of the call, I asked him two questions. 1) Does he still love me, he said yes. And 2) Does he think there’s still something unsolved between us? And he said yes. However, my parents were screaming outside my room telling me to “FORGET HIM!”, he said he heard it and I explained that my parents were very stressed to see me upset for this long. He said ok, and told me to take care, and said goodbye then hung up.

The day after the last phone call, I rethink about my action and apologised for what I did, I sent him a voice message and said I understood how he was stuck in between his/my family’s pressure (he is kind of a mama’s boy), work pressure (he is currently at a job that he hates but will be changing jobs in mid feb) and Me. I told him that I finally understand why he needed space and needed a time to breath and think due to all the chaos he has been going through since we broke up. However, i added, “it might be too late to realise all this (this was sarcasm)”. I told him to be happy, and go out and have fun, or maybe find a new hobby, so that he can release the pressure. I also said, seeing him happy is the only thing I ask for right now. After saying all these things, I blocked him on whatsapp, deleted him from Instagram and facebook.

I am always hanging out with my friends and all my friends cared about me. I am trying to occupy my day with different friends/ exercise/ work so I can get into a positive mood without thinking about him. Yet, i still really miss him.

I really want him back and I don’t know what can I do now. Will it be too late to start the no contact rule? And how long should I wait for? I am planning to do it for 60 days, but what if he doesnt intitate to talk to me? Should I initiate it or will he think the stress is back!!??

Thank you very much for taking your time to read this!! It will be much appreciated if you could help me!!

**Fingercrossed**

Chris Seiter

February 14, 2019 at 3:34 am

Hi Venus…not too late…I would suggest a shorter period 30-45 days. Consider picking up my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it includes 485 pages of extensive information of how to work thru the post breakup period and more.

Lina

January 9, 2019 at 12:16 pm

Hi Chris,

My name’s Lina, and I broke up with my boyfriend 5 mouth age. He had serious issues with depression and alexthemia. We broke up on very bad terms. I made up with him just a mouth ago, now we’re basically friends. To be honest I’ve never cried after him, until yesterday, I always kept myself from it, I wanted to stay strong, to hate him, but I clearly can’t . So yea I’m going through a lot. An Italian guy I’ve recently met asked me out and I refused. I just then felt how much I miss him. He is unreplaceable. But I can’t see how I could do that. He doesn’t seem to forgive people easily, and I can’t be an exemption. I’m scared to loose him forever. I don’t see how this could go right but I still have faith in us. Is he over me ? Could we come back any day together ? And even if we did, are things going to be the same? I feel so lost.. I can’t tell this to my friends, I just can’t understand myself, so how could they understand me ?

Please give me a response, I really need help.

Chris Seiter

January 10, 2019 at 1:50 am

Seems to me Lina you would benefit by having a blueprint to follow. That is kinda what my Program is about. If you feel lost, you need to devote some time to your recovery and that is crucial. It may be necessary to implement no contact for all the reasons I talk about in my eBooks and on the site.

Jenny White

January 6, 2019 at 8:32 pm

Hi Christ, so how long is too long? When is it actually too late to get back with your ex? 6 months? 12 months?

Chris Seiter

January 7, 2019 at 4:49 am

Hi Jenny…great question…I just think its impossible to answer with any accuracy as I have seen some people revisit successfully their relationship even after many years have passed. Usually as more and more time goes by, chances of reconciliation lessen.

Sylvia

December 16, 2018 at 7:11 am

Hi Chris,
He recently deleted all pics he had with her from his social media. Think they might be somewhere in the breakup stage and he initiated it. She still has all his pics on hers. He and I havent reached out to each other yet.

Would this be a good opportunity for me to start posting on my profile again to grab his attention so we can finally start gettin in touch? He usually likes the stuff i post

Chris Seiter

December 16, 2018 at 4:24 pm

Hi Sylvia!

Using social media as part of your ex recovery plan is one element. Take a look at the larger Plan though if you have not already. Plenty of resources on my site to guide you through all this!

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