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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
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Post categories
Ang
April 20, 2015 at 2:04 pm
My ex broke up with me about three weeks ago and said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that he wasn’t good enough for me . I have been depressed he hasn’t contacted me at all I have tried and will either get ignored or one word response . He says he is going through a lot right now and I really think he doesn’t want me back . Should I just get over it ?
Syd Bristol
April 20, 2015 at 3:34 am
I’m on day 14 of the no contact rule. There’s a very special event that happens to be going on day 30, one that both of us were going to go to, together. I think he’s planning on going to it with his long distance new girlfriend, and my question is, is there any way to stop this? If I wait till day 30 he’ll most certainly be with her, but if I break the n/c what would I even say? I’m hoping deep down he’d want to go with me or at least it would make him rethink what he’s doing. Or will letting him go and texting him after the event make him think of me more?
Carla
April 19, 2015 at 11:43 pm
Hi Chris,
my ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. We first tried to stay friends but he gave me mixed signals and I got my hopes up again. So I decided to do no contact. But now I feel bad and immature for behaving like this and ignoring his texts. We sometimes see each other at work and there is this awkwardness now, trying to avoid each other. I’m usually an easy-going person and this behaviour is not in my nature. Since I started no contact I feel down a lot, and don’t want to leave the house. Isn’t no contact supposed to help me get stronger and better?!
milca
April 9, 2015 at 1:38 pm
Hi Chris, I’m Mile from Philippines. Me and my ex bf broke up 5yrs ago year 2010 and remained living together because we had a son but I moved out year 2013 when I can no longer hold on to. I now live with my parents with my son. During those times we still have intimate relationship, ofcourse. So were like friends with benefits. Right Now, I want to ask if its still possible for us to be together, as in together as family. And to inform you, he already have a gf, 4yrs now. While we were still together he already have the relationship with her, one reason why I moved out. Right now we keep seeing each other, and sometimes having intimate relationship. HELP! Advice me. Thank you. God bless
Jo
March 28, 2015 at 12:12 am
My boyfriend broke up about a month and a half now. He tried to talk to me here and there after we broke up and even told me he wanted to stay in my life. But on the day I got all my stuff from his place 3 weeks after we broke up, I ignored the text he sent me and was very brief with him. For some reason, I get this feeling he was upset at me bc he left the house that day while I was still packing my stuff. He has not tried to contact me since then. We have similar circle of friends and saw him around recently this past week. I can tell he is avoiding me and I was actively avoiding him too. Can you clarify if I’m suppose to go up to my ex during NC and at least say hi even if he is not coming up to me? Or should I continue avoiding him if he is avoiding me too? I don’t want to seem like I’m being mean or I’m alienating him
admin
March 29, 2015 at 2:30 pm
No, don’t initiate unless he does.
Jo
March 29, 2015 at 3:56 pm
Okay good. That’s exactly what I did. Thanks Chris!
Kristin
March 26, 2015 at 5:23 am
Just curious if it’s possible if doing NC a 2nd or even 3rd time will help the relationship?
My story with my “ex” is weird & been going on for quite sometime..
We still are married (together a total of 9yrs) but have been separated for over a yr now..
maybe I’ve only done NC twice and the longest was about 30days
This past fall, I tried doing NC but had him so up at my place, we talked & I gave him 2 choices that I move back in & we fix this or we divorce.
He said he still loved me & gave me a yes but the next day it turned into not right now.. Things got worse from there so I did NC again and this was the longest we’ve ever gone the entire time, well over 40 days & I only called to gather some stuff of mine. Since then we fell back into habits of hanging out with an ocassional hook up. I tried keeping myself busy & not having time for him but it’s not easy for me to lie.
Anyways, lately ive tried just being his “friend” as that what he’s told me he wants but he knows that it’s not what I want.
I want us to get back together, doesn’t have to be rushed..
Should I try NC again? I read your artical about the friend zone reversed, would that help? The thing is.. Sometimes it’s hard to picture him as a friend when we’ve had so much history.
Any insight would be great!
admin
March 31, 2015 at 8:19 pm
I think it can be effective but it loses effectiveness every time you do it (just a heads up)
anne
March 25, 2015 at 8:11 am
Is gnat = going nuts at texting? Haha. Just wondering.
admin
March 31, 2015 at 7:53 pm
Mind = BLOWN!
I am totally stealing this.
Julie
March 19, 2015 at 3:53 pm
My bf and I dated for 8 months. We had an excellent weekend this past weekend – the best ever in fact. We have been in daily contact for at least 7 months. Lately, he has stopped sending me a good night text, or a good morning text. Typically, I get one or the other and that’s good for me. I didn’t hear from him for an entire day and then he just wanted to stop by and act like it was no big deal. I told him no. I told him if he wanted to keep me, he shouldn’t take me for granted or presume that I was just going to be available when convenient to him. I love him and I know he loves me, but when he replied that I was ridiculous, I broke up with him. The truth is, I don’t want to end it, but it’s clear he doesn’t value me as much as before and I won’t settle for less. I have an amazing job, a very expensive sports car, my own home, I am fit and pretty and I am one week away from earning a black belt. I want him back, even though it is silly that I say that not 18 hours after breaking up with him. I told him I didn’t want to do it, but that I wouldn’t be with someone who resorts to name calling. So, what now? Is this a good time to start NC?
admin
March 22, 2015 at 3:39 pm
Yes it is a great time to start it!
Simba
March 16, 2015 at 9:13 pm
In some of these cases adding things like a hint of jealousy seems to be working in some women’s favours to remind him of the things he can’t have, what would your advice be to remind him that you still excist in thes ways if the relationship is long distance and you want him not to forget that you excist so there is a higher chance he will break the NC rule before you do, that way you can implement it further by being short, to the point and business orientated.
When the NC rule is over should you contact him first or still wait for him to contact you? When the NC is over how to you make it clear that this contact is diffrent from the ones where you were only being to the point. I.e. Stuff back/ kids/ etc.
admin
March 18, 2015 at 8:30 pm
I think jealousy can be super effective if it is used properly!
Also, are you a lion king fan?
I am not a fan of waiting around for him to contact you. I like women who take charge but the imprtant thing is that you end the conversation first if you do end up talking to him.
megan
March 13, 2015 at 5:52 pm
What am I supposed to do if my bf is really immature and is too inexperienced to have a serious relationship?? He just prefers hanging out with his friends all the time..
admin
March 15, 2015 at 4:13 pm
Weigh your options and determine if he is a fit for a long term relationship with you.
Kelsey
March 12, 2015 at 3:28 pm
Hey I cheated on my ex with a guy I work with. I also live with my ex and we shared everything and have animals that our like our kids. It’s been a week today and it hasn’t been good still living here. He has also cheated on me quite a few times in the past and I forgave him but this time was my fault. I regret it but I don’t know how to prove that to him. We have kept in contact.. Texting from the other room etc. I’m going to try the living with an ex no contact rule but I was wondering if there was anything else I could try?
admin
March 13, 2015 at 8:16 pm
Why did you cheat?
What was the reasoning behind it?
Kelsey
March 12, 2015 at 3:29 pm
I’ve also been with him for 6 years.
Ash
March 9, 2015 at 12:16 pm
HELP!
I’m fairly confident, something like the NC rule would work for my husband and I, based on the fact that he continues to say we won’t be getting back together unless we have some time apart – currently we live together (in seperate bedrooms) because i am a full time student and can’t afford to live on my own PLUS we share a 2 year old! cherry on the top is… NO ONE KNOWS we are are technically separated i guess, its hard to describe we are essentially still together BUT just not affectionate, no hugging, no kissing, no nickname calling, no in depth conversations… I’m buried in study and our baby, and he is buried in our small businesses BUT the KICKER is because no one knows we still act like we are still a-okay in front of everyone, still continue to attend family and friends events together etc. and make holiday plans as a family… BUT I WANT MORE! I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK! i essentially need to separate without moving out of the family home! – marriage counselor didn’t work because he doesn’t REALLY have the time or the energy to work on falling back in love with me (his words, i know, harsh)I NEED to show him what he is throwing away… i have slight (OKAY extreame) issues containing my emotions and when he does things that we wouldn’t have done prior to the separation, i let my emotions flow, and get angry or sad and SHOW it TOO MUCH!
ANYWAY… PLEASE HELP ME!
admin
March 13, 2015 at 4:04 pm
That is harsh…
Like if you are willing to work on the marriage and he isn’t then that says alot about him.
How bad are we talking here on the containing of emotions?
Ash
March 17, 2015 at 11:18 am
yes, he is the first to admit he is extremely selfish, and is more worried about his work then anything else… its such a hard situation to explain.. but i think before i loose myself i need to do something!
oh I’m horrible – only around me though! so i basically just get grumpy and then he asks whats wrong – i say nothing so on and so on! then when I’m alone i cry myself to sleep its f***ed!
we don’t have screaming matches and argue, we just “talk it out” and its basically him telling me when he hates about our relationship and me crying and apologizing! – any normal person would give up and move on, but when we were good we were amazing!
another kicker – i still cook clean and play happy housewife , because he financially supports me, he doesn’t work a normal hour job so barely helps with the baby ergo i can’t go back to work and study! so NC is almost impossible.
what are your thoughts on just going to my room every night after dinner instead of doing work on the couch next to him.. stop texting him unless it is about a joint function or event or obviously about our beautiful little girl!
i just know the moment i seem like i’m not talking to him he will assume i’m grumpy at him and hound until i spill… SEE, I NEED HELP!
Ashleigh
March 19, 2015 at 9:18 am
Any advice? – desperate
Luci
March 8, 2015 at 6:33 pm
Hello, my bf broke up with me After 3 years. Since, we have talked occasionally and met for dinner. We still had a connection and he said his feelings for me haven’t changed, but that he doesn’t know what it is that he needs and or wants in life rifjt now. Our families are extremely close and I think he felt pressured into committing himself to the next step of our relationship (we would talk about getting married). It’s been two and a half months since we’ve broken up. Should i implement the no contact rule now and is there much hope?
admin
March 13, 2015 at 3:32 pm
Yes you should absolutely implement the no contact rule.
Nadia
March 7, 2015 at 1:26 pm
I broke up with my ex for getting drunk with his friends instead of helping me move. Well actually for not apologizing the next day. He told me he doesn’t have time to make me happy and the relationship was not important to him. He also said I forced him to put he was in a relationship with me on fb. He also said he treats me ugly and all I ever do is scold him and that I should do something about it. So I put my relationship to single on his fb. He practically forced me with his words. He blocked me from all social media and is now trying to message my friend online. If he didn’t care, why would he block me then try to piss me off by making my friend his wcw and private messaging her? I’m on NC day 15. Do I have a chance?!?
admin
March 7, 2015 at 6:17 pm
You have 15 days left and then do you have a text planned for after the NC?
chathu
March 7, 2015 at 4:26 am
Hey
He broke up with me 2 month ago.I lied to him a lot.but I never had a affair when I m with him.should I start nc now..or should I talk to him.he said if u want to wait for me then wait but there is no guarantee that he is coming back.he is now very negative about love.I lied him coz I need his attention.he thinks that I m gonna start a affair with anyone.please help me.plz chris
admin
March 7, 2015 at 6:17 pm
Definitely start it now.
chathu
March 8, 2015 at 3:24 pm
But what I’m too late for that I mean it is been 2 months he broke up with me after that he switched off his phone for weeks.now its on.do you think i should start nc.what if he start a affair with someone else during nc.may b he feel alone and talk with someone else to pass the time instead of me.
Plz plz plz Chris i need answers for these questions.
admin
March 13, 2015 at 3:22 pm
How can it be an affair if you two are broken up?
And so what?
You are working to become more attractive than any girl he could possibly date.
chathu
March 7, 2015 at 11:31 am
Plz give me a advice chris
Sarah
March 5, 2015 at 2:23 am
So After 4 months of sleeping together once a week after we broke up (been together 3 years), I started the no contact cuz I was done with this behaviour. It was only 12 days later and he started texting me, not 7 texts in a row, so I egnored him! On the 14th day/tuesday he sent a text asking to exchange our stuff that day after work, and listening to you I was like ok now I have to respond just business. So I did, said I “not today, Thursday”. He said ok and asked how I was doing , to me responding vaguely. Now, as soon as I get home I frt a knock at the door and it was him! He said he was in the area and wanted to take me to dinner, turned into I miss you and haven’t heard from u in 12days. We went out for dinner, I said no more BS tell me what you want or leave me alone, there’s the door and don’t come back! bcuz I am moving on and don’t need anymore confusion. he said he misses me, but dosent want to get emotionally attached, but dosent want to loose me, and doesn’t want me out of his life, will be exclusive with me, and will erase his dating profiles. Crap!!! I got caught talking about the relationship! 2 weeks was not long enough.
Do I now start over wth 30days?? Chris, I do want him back, but With him being uncertain makes me wanna say “take ur time when u figure it out hopefully I’m still single.” This is the 3rd time this guy has broken up with me, this time weeks before we were to move in together and next year get married!
admin
March 7, 2015 at 5:27 pm
Seems like he wants you back to me though..
Seems like you had him back.
Sarah
March 8, 2015 at 3:05 am
is it normal that he dosent message me everyday then? and I feel like he is playing safe around. He’s not chasing me?
admin
March 8, 2015 at 3:07 pm
Yes its normal.
Sometimes women don’t have realistic expectations about this.
Sarah
March 9, 2015 at 7:01 pm
I told him lastnight that I couldn’t have sex with him anymore outside a relationship,that I can’t seperate emotions from sex. It started a whole conversation and basically told me he was using me for sex and felt bad about it. And that he xontacts me to keep tabs on me. That he misses me a bit but not enough and when is with me realizes that. He said he wants to date other girls and didn’t not erase his profile. I May have had a chance staying around as a friend but I couldn’t stand knowing he’s trying to date and just loving his single life. He mentioned the whole grass is greener on the other.. I got the whole package , except I don’t make him work for it. That’s my fault. I was too easy to catch. I’ll keep u posted if anythjng else happens. Otherwise I need to move on for my own sanity.
admin
March 13, 2015 at 4:15 pm
So, essentially he said everything that I said a man will think in my FWB podcast.
Sarah
March 24, 2015 at 6:50 pm
We haven’t spoken in 15days. I usually would of heard from him by now. Seriously, he always checks up on me after 12-15days? I hope I didn’t scare him off with the pregnancy/miscarriage thing?
Sarah
April 5, 2015 at 5:20 pm
Chris,
I hope I hear from you soon!
I just hit my 30days! And I’m terrified of texting him. He is usually the one to break and contacts me after two weeks. What if that means he really doesn’t want to hear from me? As stated from above, last time we talked it was pretty dramatic. I’m hoping for a reset button, and that we can start talking as friends. Just looking for some encouragement, I feel like my situation is too dramatic and I should wait longer???
Sarah
April 8, 2015 at 4:04 pm
Sorry Chris!
He replied!!! But he turned the conversation sexual, and I was shocked and didn’t know what to do. What do I specifically say when he turns the conversation in that direction? He said the last month for him hasn’t been that great, and that he’s been bored. I don’t want to turn into a booty call again!
I hope to hear from u soon!! Thank you!
Sarah
March 12, 2015 at 4:44 pm
I have to tell u something important so u could possibly give me a better perspective. This last conversation which was 5 days ago, he told me he broke up with me bcuz I was clingy and needy and anything he said i would just cry over. Yes I remember for a month being emotionally unstable and crying over everything. We broke up at the beginning of November so it’s been almost 5 months (wow) and he said he checked out in October. We have talked every week tho, still having sex, he still sends me texts saying I was thinking about u, little heart texts and kissy faces etc!!!!
I just thought again he is confused, bcuz we have broken up twice before. Anyways I finally told him a week after we broke up my girl friend rushed me to the hospital, I was in a lot of pain, and I guess I was having a miscarriage. I never knew I was pregnant. I was almost 8 weeks at the time, and it explains my crazy emotions!! I was alsoon adderal and OCD meds and the doctor told me no human could of handled being on all those meds and being pregnant. As soon as I told him, he finally became silent and still. He said that would make sense, and asked why I never told him. The truth, I said, because I know how negatively he feels about pregnancy and I didn’t want to push the breakup more, I was just horrified of telling him. He got mad and said again my way of thinkng is off for not telling him. I only told 2 ppl. I didnt even want to remember. He just sat there still and quite, so I walked over, kissed him sweet on the lips, said goodbye and left.
One of my girl friends is his brothers gf, and said when she high to him yesterday he looked like he was in deep thought.
Chris, I want ur opinion what he might be thinking? If telling him that makes a difference on how he views me or us. I’m wondering if that is going to all all change anything? I know u can’t say for certain, but typically what would a man be thinking? Explains the emotional instability?
I’m working on myself, devoted to yoga and meditation daily. Revamping my apartment to look new and great. I’m making changes. Just afraid of how long it’s been and what he told me.
I don’t want kids right now, we both aren’t ready. Tho I don’t believe in anortions it doesn’t matter , I didn’t have it. And I’m scared now he won’t want to have sex with me. I’m on birth control, he knows it. Just didn’t know u can get pregnant when ur on antibiotics.
admin
March 13, 2015 at 8:18 pm
You are going to have to stop having sex with him if he hasn’t committed to you. Listen to my FWB episode on why.
Sarah
March 5, 2015 at 2:25 am
Just wanted to say it was him who said I miss you and asked me why I haven’t called.
Ana
March 4, 2015 at 4:13 pm
Well i was with my now ex boyfriend 3 months, we broke up because he got bored in relationship, and after 3 weeks he got new girlfriend…is it posible for that to be a rebound? I did NC for 2 months now
He used to told me that i have awesome sense of humor, that i am good looking, that he loves me, he was glad that we share same interests..did i set the bar high enough for him to come back?
P.S I didn’t made any moves so far exept NC, we didn’t even see each other since the break up.
admin
March 7, 2015 at 5:12 pm
Well, 2 months in NC is a bit long.
I would say you should have reached out by now through texts (the proper text of course)
marry
March 4, 2015 at 11:22 am
what if he is still a friend on facebook should i log in and not talk to him or i should not log in at all !!!
admin
March 7, 2015 at 4:44 pm
If he is a Facebook friend you can log in and not talk to you him.
marry
March 7, 2015 at 5:14 pm
okey seems good but what if i’m online and he came i egnored him then he says hi what do i do then if i didn’t respond would’nt that be rude cause he would think that i’m doing this on purpose !!
admin
March 8, 2015 at 2:41 pm
Turn off your thing that shows that your online.
lisa
March 4, 2015 at 11:21 am
Ops! Now I see that he said, “love is not enough”. My bad, sorry : ) Maybe there is a chance for them, after all. Still it is bit presumptions of you to say that you think it will work out fine.
Any way thanks for your time and sharing. I have enjoyed the reading, although I’m not trying to get any boyfriend back at this point of time : )
admin
March 7, 2015 at 4:44 pm
Hi Lisa,
you might want to check out the how to get over him article if you are intent on moving on.
aishwarya
March 3, 2015 at 12:32 pm
Hey chris…
I have been visiting your website… you are amazing.
My bf broke up with me about 8 days ago…
I don’t have a microphone, nor do i have an account on google+ so i wont be able to leave you a voicemail…
but i really want to get in touch with you… can you suggest something more easier?
admin
March 3, 2015 at 10:09 pm
Why thank you!
Why don’t you just leave your situation here in the comments then?
A
March 4, 2015 at 12:28 pm
my you are fast…
it’s just that… i’m not very comfortable putting it out in public, i mean, i don’t want to be rude, but i just feel a little shy.