Learn When The No Contact Rule Won't Work On Your Ex

748 thoughts on “When NOT To Use The No Contact Rule On Your Ex Boyfriend”

Shar

May 2, 2020 at 2:23 am

Hi, I need some serious advice, please. I honestly don’t know how well no contact will work in my situation. I’ve listened to both positive and negative outcomes regarding it and am keeping my fingers crossed it works for me. I was with my boyfriend for about 10 months everything was going great probably one of the most amazing men I’ve ever been with until he lost his job and finally had to find one out of state (1400 miles away) and had to move which left our relationship in limbo. Before he left I told him I was skeptical about having a long-distance relationship even though he told me he plans to come back in a year and a half because he hates where he was stationed. The marriage topic was brought up (a total wrong move I know) and he said he didn’t want to take the relationship there because it would seem forced plus I have a teenage son and family here where I live and he said he didn’t want me resenting him if I moved because of him. So we kinda just left the relationship up in the air (not broken up but no fully together). Anyways, he moved the following week and I didn’t hear from him for 3-4 days. I figured he was getting settled at his new place and the new job. I then started getting calls, video chats, and messages about how much he misses me, how much he wants to see me blah blah blah. We stayed in communication following all that for about 4 weeks talking and texting every day and I thought this whole long-distance thing might actually work until I got sick and thought I had a Covid scare and unintentionally stopped communication with him. I noticed he up and disappeared on me as well and I haven’t spoken to him in about 3 weeks. I haven’t bothered to reach out since he disappeared on me 3 weeks ago and figured because he hasn’t I should initiate the no contact rule. Its been 20 days since No contact and my question to you is, does NC work in long-distance relationships and should I continue to not reach out for at least 30 days? or is this just a lot cause?
Please help

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 8, 2020 at 10:08 pm

Hey Shar yes there have been many successes with long distance relationships and all of them start with a 30 day No Contact. Where you focus on you and give your ex time to miss you

Allison

May 1, 2020 at 6:37 am

it’s been more than a month since my bf broke up with me we’ve been ldr eversince we live in different countries. Last dec he said that hes confused and falling out love i told him if he needs space and he said no. I tried my best to make efforts come february he messages me saying hes really happy on whats good changes happening in our relationship I understand him and for not giving up with him. Then march came he suddenly broke up with me.

I ask him so many questions why hes breaking up with me everything i ask him. Apparently our families connected not gonna tell but there’s connection in both families. They told me that he got suffocated in our relationship wherein in my part whenever he wants to hangout with his friends before that, hes always saying hes tired and don’t have enough sleep. So I suggest why not to stay and take some rest like that but at then end I’ll let him go hangout with his friends.

If only he said last dec thats he’s feeling really suffocated in our relationship and help me to change my off personality and teach me. Its very unfair on my part and of course all of our families thinking i really suffocated him.

We never broke up during our relationship we only had little fights. And this the 1st challenge in our relationship he’s the one who’s always saying that whatever challenges we may face we will never give up.

I really want to fix our relationship hes my first bf i and I really love him. Right now i have no communication with him I’m giving him the space he needs. Also, I’m into working out keeping and myself busy.

He never seen my messages. I emailed him for the last time saying sorry and thank you.
Natasha Pate

April 28, 2020 at 9:46 am

Hey

My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago (I initiated it even though it felt mutual) because I wanted to do a year away. We continued to speak after the break up on and off, I reached out to him after a week telling him I don’t want to do a year away anymore, he seemed offended it took us breaking up to realise this. So I didn’t pursue it.

We both had a stag/hen party and didn’t talk for 6 days, he then reached out asking how I was. We got talking again like normal, I then thought it would be a good idea to get my stuff from his and fix things. When I did he was annoyed it took me a month to realise I want to get back with him and not go travelling, he said he closed the door and moved on. I ended up being an emotional mess. I tried to remediate this by sending him a mature text but his stance still stayed firm. I felt so guilty like its my fault, I did try asking how he was a week after or so. We spoke on facetime 16 days ago, I wanted to make sure he didn’t think I was a crying mess, so we had a bit of a chit chat and talking about the relationship his stance still says firm and thinks we both should move on. I was shocked he said this, he said he doesn’t believe me that I don’t want to do a year away and thinks I will resent it in the future.

I haven’t reached out to him since and i know he will message me on my birthday this thursday.

What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 5, 2020 at 9:35 pm

Hi Natasha, so you should follow a No Contact where you do not have these friendly chats with him as you want him back in a relationship. If you are sure you are not going travelling and you stay home he is going to see that you were serious about getting back together and will be sorry – if you are not already back before then. During your No Contact you would need to work on your Holy Trinity which you can read about in the articles on this website to help your ex question if he has made the right decision, before you reach out with your first text

Mays

April 24, 2020 at 10:10 am

Hey,
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up last April 1 due to some circumstances,we’ve been almost 3 years being together in a long distance relationship. He asked me from my friend last april 10 if how am I doing? And he knew I was sick. He chatted me concerning i am sick. The next day we chat almost whole day about us we said our iloveyou’s to each other but in the end of the conversation we decided to stop communicating and thinking its for the best. During that day I start initiating no contact rule. After 4 days of no talk he send me a message but I ignored in the 8th day of NC he sent message again telling me that he loves me and I replied back of Iloveyou.Then the next few days he keep on sending me a message one message a day. I am confused I want to diligently follow the NC but every time my ex send me a message I cant help my self to reply. Is it a good idea that I keep on NC? Hope you can help me.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 24, 2020 at 8:48 pm

Hey Mays, Yes it is a good idea, it is essential part of this program to getting an ex back

Kristen

April 10, 2020 at 3:05 pm

Hi. We were together for 9 months, long distance. We had taken a break for a month before, but never any fighting- just too painful to be apart. He just told me that he’s been talking to somebody else and had his first date with this person. That he’s sorry to hurt me and that he loves me and wants to be friends and doesn’t want to lose me in his life. I explained in one message how this hurt me, and in next that I couldn’t talk to him anymore. That I want him to be happy, thank you for the good times, and best wishes for the future. I said Goodbye. Then I deleted my account, but not all doors. It’s been almost a week of no contact. Did I put the nail in the coffin by saying goodbye? Will these terminal words prevent him from coming back? I made it so final. I feel I had no choice to keep my self-respect?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 20, 2020 at 10:56 pm

Hi Kristen, no you ruin your chances of him coming back, it sounds more like he has grass is greener syndrome so stick to NC and work on yourself in that time getting over the break up. Reach out after 45 days and start the being there method if you want him back by that time.

GEM

April 2, 2020 at 1:49 am

Hi! So my boyfriend and I broke up a month ago today. We had been dating for almost 4 years and hadn’t had any issues until march of last year when he kissed a girl at a party (this was his first time drinking tho). After that it started to get toxic back and forth of him being really nice then getting really mean. (Nothing abusive just not as loving as it used to be). It only got worse after he started going out drinking more… he has had a couple instances where it’s been so bad I’ve almost left and hes had to beg for me to come back because he said really mean things to me. it’s gotten really bad the past couple of months and ultimately led to our break up. It was almost mutual but he broke it off first. He said he was so sorry and that he just cant treat me like this anymore and needs time to figure out his own stuff which I understand, I did freak out and spent the whole time crying begging him not to leave, but after I got out of the car we both said we loved each other. This is our first breakup and we had a really good relationship before hand, hes a good guy I think he just needed to figure out his own stuff. He messaged me the day after the breakup and apologized and tried to make sure I was okay. That went on for a couple days then he came to see me 2 weeks later. But he didn’t say anything about the relationship and said he just wanted to check up on me. He then went out and partied all weekend which really made me upset. He didn’t message me the whole weekend and only messaged on the tuesday just to check in and see how my weekend went. Then a week passed with no contact (and I didn’t message either) and the next tuesday he messaged me again just to check in. The conversations we had were short and normal to me. I’m just confused as to what to do because he still hasn’t changed any of his social media even after a month. He also said 2 days after we broke up he doesn’t think we can get back together but then another 2 days passed and said that he hasn’t fully dealt with it yet and that he keeps hoping we are gonna get back together. I started the NC and have done a week so far and heard nothing from him so far.. I’m just wondering if NC is really the right choice? We have such a long history together and neither of us have changed our social media.. I dont know whether to try and talk to him about why he hasn’t changed it or not or if I should just leave it and let him come to me… please help!!!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 9, 2020 at 9:03 pm

Hi Gem, yes NC will still be necessary in this situation too, it gives you both a rest bite from each other. I would suggest that you do nothing regards to social media for the time being let him make the first moves. Change your DP to one of yourself, or you and friends.

Nay

April 1, 2020 at 1:32 am

My boyfriend and I of 2 & 1/2 years broke up because he wanted to work on himself, it was a around a week ago and we said our goodbyes and wished each other goodluck. He said he still loves me he’s just in a bad place.
It’s been 5 days since I started no contact and I’ve received a text everyday, but yesterday I received 7-8 calls from him and a couple texts begging me to talk to him, and 12 calls today with the same texts.
What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 2, 2020 at 4:27 pm

Hi Nay, it is hard not to answer but good for you sticking to it! This is No Contact working in him as he worries that you have walked away from him. When a guy says that he still loves you but cant be with you right now the best thing to do is NC to show that you are not going to sit on your hands and wait for them to come back to you. You are showing how you are living your life. Keep going as you are to day 30 you are doing the right thing

Amy Price

March 15, 2020 at 1:01 pm

We were together for 6 months. She left me to go back to her ex (they broke up a year ago and were together for 4 years) as she said she was never over her. Will this rule just make her and her ex/now together just stronger and more likely to forget me? They are already an item and posting all over social media together even though we’ve only been broken up a month. Should I keep in contact to keep being around and in her mind as I’m worried no contact will just mean we never speak again and concretes them being together.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 17, 2020 at 8:47 pm

Hey Amy, so you need to complete 45 days of no contact, stop watching her movements on social media and her ex too. Work on yourself to get over the break up and familiarise yourself with the being there method. Then reach out with a text that Chris suggests to get you ex talking to you.

Sierra

March 12, 2020 at 12:41 am

What if i was broken up with because of recent fighting that came from unresolved issues earlier in the relationship but he was supportive in asking for a hug after breaking up with me and he even told me he still loved and wanted to be with me but the fighting bothered him. We fought about me wanting to hangout with him more than him wanting to be around me but its hard because we have been together three years and its the first time we’ve fought so constantly. He hasn’t tried to contact me and its been over a week… should i pursue no contact or not considering we have never broken up before and we have had a very good 3 year relationship. He was even acting completely normal and happy with me up until the night of the break up. PLEASE HELP:(

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 12, 2020 at 12:58 pm

Hi Sierra, so you need to follow the program starting with No Contact and work on yourself in that time. Reaching out to your ex after 30 days of no contact

Amanda

March 5, 2020 at 5:41 pm

Hi
I’ve recently broken up with my bf of 1 year 10 days ago. We had a pretty perfect relationship until we went away for 1 week and we had 2 small arguements. After being home for 3 days he called and said he didn’t love want me and wanted to be single. I went into fight or flight mode and did the begging and pleading to no avail. For the next 3 days we had minimal contact of once a day our normal is 6/7 times a day. We have a long distance relationship of 80 miles and so I drove to see him on Sunday to have a talk and see if I could persuade him to change his mind. It didn’t work I was cool calm and collected told him I had blocked him and wished him a good life. I am now on day 5 of nc and battling myself whether to break nc incase he feel like he wants to contact me but won’t because I blocked him(he’s now unblocked) didn’t last very long lol. Also I want to know is it likely that’ll we can get back together as he was so adamant in his feelings. I just feel we had such a stronger bond for this to be it. Any advice for this girl going out of her mind.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 18, 2020 at 1:54 am

Hi Amanda, so to give yourself your best chance of getting your ex back is about following this process to the word, also working on yourself in that time too. Read as much as you can regarding your situation.

Tinisha

March 1, 2020 at 6:01 am

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We had an amazing relationship, he was most importantly my best friend. Any argument we had we resolved it in a healthy way and moved past it. However these past few months he has been suffering from anxiety and sadness in his life and I was the only person he would talk to about it and I was helping him get through life. In the middle of his dark thoughts he would struggle on treating me how I deserve, in which I would bring to his attention, usually he understands and rationalises it, however last week when I brought up how he treated me he completely shut me down, we had an argument and he came over and broke up with me. It wasn’t just a ‘breakup’ it was back and fourth for two hours that he loves me and wants to make it work, but he can’t get better with me in his life etc. The week prior he said to me I am his rock. The week before we also paid for our first overseas trip together, he said his biggest regret in life would be to leave me during this time of mental health issues and I find another partner. Fast forward a week later he randomly broke up with me with no thought process, no good reasoning. A month before we went away together and had the best time ever. I am so confused, this came out of the blue! I want to be with him because we have had the most amazing relationship but I don’t know what to do. Even after he broke up with me I told him I will be by your side during this difficult time and I am not leaving him, and he just shut me down and told me not to contact him. He was treating me like I did something to him when in actual fact I have been his rock when no one else was. He has shut himself from a lot of social situations but I am the only person he got rid of in his life. We were just talking about the future, moving in together etc. I feel very confused and shocked how sudden this happened. He has my laptop and also we have a overseas trip in 1 month. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 7, 2020 at 9:28 am

Hi Tinisha so you can ask for your laptop back (only get in touch for that reason) and then you go into No Contact where you do not speak with him for 30 days if you still choose to go on your trip with him that’s up to you but you will have to make sure that you are not emotional or intimate during that time. If he has mental health issues going on then it is not a bad thing that he wants to be alone to deal with them at this time. Sometimes people need that alone time to get better, without the added stress of worrying about someone else feelings.

Ze

March 1, 2020 at 3:26 am

Hello,

Me and my ex has been together for 4 year in a sometimes long distance relationship, the other times we lived together. He recently told me that he couldn’t do long distance anymore & was heart broken but needed to end things. That happened last December since then we’ve gotten back together once, then he split it up again due to the distance knowing deep down he couldn’t handle it. It’s been 4 weeks since our spit and we haven’t stopped talking everyday, he’ll call & send sweet messages even last week he said that maybe we could work things out into an open relationship to help with the distance. He told me he’d kissed another girl one weekend and had felt really guilty. He’d be hot & cold with me often.

A few days ago I initiated no contact as the thoughts of him begun taking over my life. My heart felt broken everyday & I found myself waiting for his calls everyday. Since the definition of our relationship was still unknown I became depressed and dependant so I thought giving myself time to breath regardless of our emotional closeness was nessacary. I fear that after initiating no contact that I’ve messed up our chances greatly.

I want to work it out with him & maybe try opening our relationship but now I fear I’ve messed up our chances because I initiated no contact. I’ll be heading home to where he lives I’m 2 weeks so I guess I’ll be reconnecting then.
I hope I haven’t made a huge mistake ;(
Thank u

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 7, 2020 at 9:29 am

Hey Ze, so no you have not messed up your chances by following a No Contact, if anything you have started your progress in getting him back. When you move back to his area you do not reach out unless you are out of your 30 day NC. Read the Ungettable articles and apply this to yourself during your NC and then reach out with a text that Chris suggests after 30 days

Helen

February 27, 2020 at 5:22 pm

Hi there, I am very confused whether I should do the no contact rool or not. We have been together for 8 months and always struggled with communication/expressing his feelings. The last 3 months I felt he wasnt making any effort or caring about my needs while I had to accept a lot of things. In the end I made him a list and told him I accept 70% of your list of 12 items and my list had 4 all around him being more expressive and attentive and asked him if he can at least accept 50% of my list so we can be happy. He said I exceeded all of his expectations but he couldnt even try to do the things that would make me happy no matter how small like sending a thoughtful good morning text. I picked up my things and left in the heat of the moment and he said he is tired of arguing and he needs time and maybe we were compatible up to a certain point. Anws the first two days. after the breakup we were talking and I asked why he wasnt willing to try since he loved me, i begged him to reconsider and I didnt want to end things but all he said. was I’m sorry and I. dont know. I. told him that I need us to not talk for a while because him not knowing and me hoping he will make an effort is only hurting me more. I want him back and I want him to realise that relationships are work and compromise. He told me I am awesome and he feels this has been his fault but has done nothing. about it. What should I do? still 30 days NC?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 27, 2020 at 10:51 pm

Hi Helen, yes folllow the rules of No Contact for at least 30 days

Chris

February 24, 2020 at 10:26 am

Hello does no contact work if we agreed to be friends and still talk to each other after the break up and so far this has been going well/amicable? Will it be rude or ruin my chances to suddenly go into NC?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 26, 2020 at 10:10 pm

Hi Chris, if you want your ex back then you need to complete a No Contact. It is not rude to take some time for yourself after a break up

Christine

February 23, 2020 at 6:55 pm

Hi!

Being dating this guy, and from the first time we met, we both have been talking about how easy and good it felt to be with each other.

We’ve been dating for about three months, and basically I’ve been living at his place as long as we’ve knows each other. He is 30 and I am 25.

We have had deep conversations, where he has brought up several times phrases like “if we marry …”, “our children”, “the dog we should have ..”. I never have initiated to conversations like that, but I’ve responded to his phrases and form then we’ve talked about it.
We’ve had deep conversations where both have opened up, including that he has told me that he has been hurt twice by former girlfriends who have been unfaithful and lied to him.

On Sunday two weeks ago we were in bed and he told me that he has got feelings for me and that he cares for me and that these feelings are scaring him. We talked about our families and that he could see himself introducing me to his mom etc.

A few days later he was quiet and I felt that our “honey moon” period was over so I let him get some distance because i felt too that I needed it myself. He contacted me on Friday again and I went to him after and we had a really good time. A few days later I asked him if there was anything and then he said that he did not feel the little extra spark and that he would be single and not want to commit to a relationship at this moment.

Now I have gone a week without contacting him (no contact rule) and he has made contact to meet. I have the feeling that he has panicked, and I also feel that he is afraid of his feelings.

Really, I feel it can work out, but I don’t want to push him. I respect his feelings, but I wonder what you’re thinking. He asked to meet and I replied that I couldn’t until next week to have some space.

Do I have to wait until he makes contact again, wait out the entire 30-day period or should I say in a positive way when it suits me to meet?

I miss him but feel good and I have moved on and wish him well.

If it’s meant to be it will be, but I also don’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t see my value.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 2, 2020 at 11:08 pm

Hi Christine, so you should complete the 30 day no contact before replying to himeven if he does reach out but you need to try and make your first contact a text like Chris suggests in his posts. Work on yourself in that time and remain social with friends to show you are not sat at home waiting for him to get in touch with you

Hana

February 23, 2020 at 3:39 pm

Hi,
My ex broke it off with me just one month after we officially got together.. This was a LDR, we only communicated thru texts during the past 7 months but we met up three times, the first two he flew over and I made the third trip and that was when we decided to give it a shot. He seemed genuinely happy and more open with his affections, we had made plans to get together again. Two weeks prior to the break up he became distant, I knew there was a lot going on on his job and it was stressful. He’s always been career focused so I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it but I did notice the change. Then he texted me and said he didn’t think things were working out between us, that he couldn’t balance between his work and personal life. I asked him what happened and that we could figure it out together but he just said that it’d be better if we remain friends. I said I got it and we haven’t talked since. I’ve been keeping up the NC for almost three weeks now, giving him space to focus on his job which isn’t going too well atm, but I’m just confused and really miss him. Everything was going well right up to the last two weeks. There are no hard feelings, I just don’t know what happened except he gave up on us. Should I reach out to him?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 3, 2020 at 10:46 pm

Hi Hana, you can reach out to your ex after 30 days of No Contact and during that time you can work on yourself and the Holy Trinity that we speak about in the articles to improve yourself. Then when you reach out to your ex you can tell them all the amazing things you are doing with your life

Kim

February 19, 2020 at 8:07 pm

Hi I kicked my boyfriend of 3 and half years out over a week ago because of his behaviour. He’s lived with me for over 2 years and I feel we have a toxic relationship but we both love each other and can’t seem to be apart for long. His drinking and drug use has been increasing over the past year which has led to me kicking him out a few times but never for long. He lies to me saying he’s coming home then stays at the pub all night and does the drugs then turns up the early hours in the morning. He’s turned up drunk in his van to pick his son up and he’s left his son all night with me while he’s out partying without asking. I finally stuck to the decision and kick him out blocked him and then he kept turning up for his stuff so I unblocked him and last Friday he was begging for me back but I resisted then failed the next morning when he turned up at my friends knowing I was there and said he wanted to chat. We went back to mine and he’d been on cocaine all night and let’s just say we didn’t chat cause he was all over me and I gave in. Then he left and obliviously I felt used! He then wanted to chat to me at his sisters with her there and I knew they were going to try and persuade me into him living separately from me but we don’t have enough trust for that and I stuck to my guns and said get your own place but that means we are over. He broke down a few times but was adamant he can only sort his problems out if he’s not at mine, he’s never tried to change when he’s lived with me which was my response so how can he change apart from me. I know he loves me and I love him but the mental torture this relationship has caused me is unbelievable. I want changes but I still do want him I’m trying to be strong but it’s killing me. He picked the rest of his stuff up yesterday and we spoke briefly but I have told him he can’t contact me again and he doesn’t come down again. What do I do in this situation? I’m lost.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 28, 2020 at 8:16 pm

Hi Kim, so you ask what it is you do in your situation if you want your boyfriend to stop with the drink and drugs then you are going to have to stick to this break up until he realises that you are serious and that he has to make these changes in order to be with you.

Kal

February 17, 2020 at 1:51 pm

Hi, I posted a question over at “Signs My Ex Is Over Me For Good,” and in a few short hours after posting, my ex sent 3 text messages about mundane things. In the first couple of texts, he said he could not find a box of his books (he’s moved out of my house), and asked if he could have left them at an old roommate’s apartment. In his third text, he said he had found one of my missing slippers.

He is usually the one to initiate contact, generally to inquire about mail or packages he has received at the house. I am unsure in these cases–and in the specific recent cases mentioned above–whether I should break the NC principle. I started it for the first time on Valentine’s Day (we had met up the day before, when I gave him some very expensive late Christmas presents and V-Day presents).
Belle

February 13, 2020 at 5:19 am

My ex and I were together for 10 months. While we were dating he lost over 100 pounds, returned to school, overcame his anxiety, and gained self confidence. I cheered him on throughout all of it and loved him unconditionally. We rarely argued and when we did, it was over small things. This was also our first breakup. He broke up with me because he wanted to talk to other girls. I was his first long term girlfriend and he didn’t know what else was out there. I’ve implemented NC for 2 weeks now, but this article has me rethinking things. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 15, 2020 at 5:27 pm

Hey Belle, that is a really hurtful reason to be broken up with when you have supported him through so much so make sure you take some time to heal yourself. And during that time, read about the ungettable girl, and what it would take to make you, your exes ungettable girl. Basically become the best version of yourself so that he realises hes lost someone amazing while wasting his time with other girls. And most DEFINITELY stick to no contact in this situation!

Erin

February 7, 2020 at 5:15 pm

My situation is complicated and I’m not sure if using NC will actually work.
After my divorce, I was single for 5 years up until a couple months ago when I met an amazing man (through a dating app) who had a failed marriage and two young children like I do. We had many things in common, our dates and conversations were amazing and we shared many of the same passions and goals.
After some weeks of dating, I began spending time at his apartment. He had a home that he still owned with his ex, and she lived in it (while he lived in a rental apartment) although they had split up a year and a half ago. This bothered me, but the process of selling a home and/or one party buying out the other is complicated and could take years.
I also discovered that he hadn’t finalized his divorce because of this property that him and his ex still owned. This bothered me but I let it slide, because these things are complicated.
I also noticed he kept things friendly with his ex and would be at her beck and call often because she would make his life miserable if he wasn’t.
Eventually though, my insecurities got the best of me and I blew up at him and accused him of still being emotionally involved with his ex. I told him that I felt like since he wasn’t actually divorced, there was a huge chance he could go back with her, considering they owned a home together. I drew parallels between his and my divorce letting him know that when I first separated from my ex husband, I would have put my family back together if my ex husband would have changed.
Anyhow, after that fight, he was upset and sad, and then grew cold and distant. He felt insulted over my accusations and although I apologized over and over again, things were not the same between us.
I had a feeling he was back on dating apps, so shortly after, I created a fake account on a dating app and found him on there and spoke to him. He took the bait.
I then confronted him about it and he told me that he wanted to see where things would go with me before seeing other people. Basically, what I understood from that (from reading between the lines) is he wanted to keep me around while seeing if there was anyone better for him out there.
When he admitted the truth, all I responded was that it was ok, no hard feelings and that I loved the pic he used on the app, it was my favourite. Didn’t talk to him for 2 days after that.
Then he started texting me (several texts which I did not respond to) that he was sorry, that I must think he is horrible and that he hopes that I don’t only remember the bad in the relationship. He said he wishes me all the best. He also messaged me that he wanted to sincerely apologize for his behaviour. Since he left 2 bracelets at my home, I replied only once to his texts and told him that it was ok, not to worry about anything and not to feel guilty and that i could send him his bracelets back (not very expensive jewelry, but it’s his, so…).
He told me, he wasn’t worried about the bracelets and that one day, if we see each other again, I could give them to him.
Shortly after, at the end of the day, he texted me asking how was my day, to which I did not respond.

Should I be doing NC?? Our relationship did not last very long and I do blame myself because my insecurities caused him to become cold in the first place.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 7, 2020 at 9:25 pm

Hey Erin yes you need to do a No Contact and you also make sure you work on the Ungettable work during that time

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