When Will My Ex Start Missing Me- How Long Does It Take?

97 thoughts on “When Will My Ex Start Missing Me?”

Tina

September 14, 2018 at 6:51 am

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We got into a really bad argument a few days ago which left him really upset. He hasn’t contacted me ever since. I’m not sure if we’re even together at this point cause he isn’t responding to any of my messages or phone calls. All he had to say was “I do not want to talk to you. Please respect my decision” . I’m not sure what to do . Please advice!!

Chris Seiter

September 17, 2018 at 9:49 pm

Probably best to employ no contact as it has many benefits as you will learn…just explore my site, books, podcasts, videos!

Anja

September 2, 2018 at 1:11 pm

Hi,
I’ve been in a long distance relationship about 9 months, my boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue. Everything was perfect, he had many times during the month comes here, I went there. When he comes we go everywhere together, at his family and with my family. In the last couple of months we are constantly talking about how I should move there and takl to everybody about our plans. At first I was not sure about that as it is still too early and then we agreed on everything and set the date. In the meantime, I received an offer to work for a better position. I said I did not know what I’m gonna do with that, and soon after that we start to fight. After that I refused to work and told that I move in with him. The day before the brokup all was normal. He said that we no longer go as before, he loves me but we dont have a sparkle, he also said that it is extremely hard and that I am the best thing he had in life. He said to wish me all the best, and said do not want to ruin my life by the fact that I will move there and leave everything becaus of him, and said he also think that I’m still not ready for something like that. I tried to reassure him, but obviously it did not work. He also told me that both of us need to think about everything and that he would think about what I said that we should not break up, he also said the I need to think about this situation as the best solution. It said: you never know what can happen in a month or a year, maybe we terribly missed each other and we both realized that we made a mistake. During the breakup he was crying. After a few days he returned to where he worked abroad and delited our picture of the social media. After breakup, I sent a message to hime that i wish him a safe trip. Do you think there’s a chance to get back together and what should I do?

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2018 at 8:24 pm

I do. Best to have an ex recovery plan to improve your chances. Check out my home page for the resources and tools I make available as to your next steps.

Amber

September 2, 2018 at 1:50 am

I dated a guy for a year and a half and were engaged for 5 months. We were trying to work on living together but the situation was hard with kids 2 houses ect. He became upset that I wouldn’t just give up my life to move in with him but i had kids to consider when moving. During the last month things were strained and he wouldn’t talk things out saying i should just do what it takes. He broke off or engagement by text, but than said we should talk. I was beyond crushed and pleaded with him to talk but he kept saying not now. Than told me he needed to figure some things out and just put the ring aside. Its been 3 weeks and he still text me every day just plain stuff like hows work. I love him but also dont think i can get get back with someone who hurt me so bad. Just dont understand how someone could ask you to marry them than 5 month later just be done. I have told him im sorry if i hurt him but got no response.

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2018 at 3:38 am

Hi Amber…it sounds like to me he is being a bit selfish and demanding of you. With the breakup, I think no contact would be good for you to start healing and decide what part if any you want him to have in your life. I wrote a book called “The No Contact Rule Book” that is meant to help you with your recovery.

Sandy

August 30, 2018 at 3:30 am

My ex broke up with me just so suddenly two weeks ago. He was still contacting me asking me how I was. He said he wants to help me move on. But you see, I kept my hope up that we could fix the problem. Then just few days ago, he told me he cheated on me 3 times during the past 5 months by hooking up with 3 women. I told him that we could still fix it and give our relationship a last shot. He rejected. He said he could not forgive himself and I deserve better and another man. And since then he did not contact me anymore. We were in a long distance relatioship for 1 year and 5 months and we had a committed one. It hurts but I still want him back. What should I do?

Chris Seiter

August 30, 2018 at 3:50 am

Hi Sandy….that was a cruel thing for him to say to you, even if its true. I think you should take some time to heal and avoid contact with him. Its called the no contact rule. It discuss at length in my books and on my site. But what is most important is your recovery and doing things to find your emotional balance. Give yourself some time to recover from all this and perhaps you will have a different view of what you want going forward.

Mary

August 12, 2018 at 12:59 pm

My fiancé and i have been together for 6 years. We have never broken up. One month before the wedding he broke it off. I have been doing no contact for a week but he has only called once. I did not answer. What do you suggest me do?
Nikisha

May 6, 2018 at 10:10 am

So I blocked my ex boyfriend during NC and only on the third day I noticed that after i blocked him, he blocked me too..
Any chance of reconciliation?

Chris Seiter

May 6, 2018 at 2:55 pm

I usually don’t recommend blocking as that can lead to feelings of rejection. Try unblocking

Binks

May 3, 2018 at 1:36 pm

Hey, so I dated my ex boyfriend about a year.. we were on and off most of the time. We knew our relationship had an end date because he was supposed to move abroad. However he didn’t end up moving and yet we still decided to end our relationship..we both had many things going on for us. After we broke up we were still pretty close and decided on the friends with benefits thing.. After a while I stopped that because the passion between us was missing. It seemed as if he completely distanced himself and was more there for the benefits. I do see a future with him but all he seemed to want was to hook up. So this one day I was trying to have an open conversation with him and tried to find out if he was friends with benefits with other girls as well as me. He didn’t want to answer me and said it’s a stupid question. I immediately blocked his number because i felt played.
I really don’t know if I did the right thing. I miss him but I also know I deserve too be treated better than this. Please help?

Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 1:49 pm

Hi agree Binks…an evasive answer on such an important and serious topic is suspicious in the least. Have you picked up a copy of my comprehensive ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” yet? As it is going to offer you a great deal of help during this No Contact period and also assist in you later if you feel inclined to reopen the relationship. You can get more info about this Companion Guide at my website Menu/Products link. Let me know how things go for you. By the way…you chose a really cool moniker (i.e. Binks!)

Emery

December 20, 2017 at 12:27 am

Hello so it’s been a year that my and I have been back and forth and not once have we gotten back together. I am already fed so I decided to block him but I gave in after two weeks. He tells me cares about me but I don’t see the effort. I love him but I also love myself enough to not put up with it. I know that if he really cares he would put the effort but I don’t see. I told him I’m done and told him to take care. I decided to block him today. It has been so hard, what do you recommend to cope with this pain? 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 9:37 pm

Hi Emery,

Be true to your word. Be active in improving yourself, make a new routine in your life and maintain it.

Jay

August 7, 2017 at 5:46 pm

Hi;

My boyfriend of 8 months recently broke up with me – out of the blue really. I had recently asked him to move in, and he said no, but felt bad that he said no. He broke up with me two Fridays ago, this past Friday we met up and talked about the break up and what his reasoning was. He said that he wanted to “figure himself out” and just wanted space and to see why he couldn’t fully commit in our relationship. He also said that he didn’t want to keep doing things like not committing to moving in, etc. He says he still loves me and loved our relationship, and that I was the best gf he ever had but he can’t be in one right now.

He said that in a month or two we should meet up and see how it goes. Do you think he actually wants to possibly re-start our relationship after some time? I’ve started the NC following on Saturday and so far he’s liked two of my posts on Social Media but I’ve gotten nothing from him. We met last year on Sept 11, should I text him then? Should i just keep it light and about something to keep him curious? Do you think he will actually reach out? I’ve decided to just make a lot of plans the next couple weeks/weekends to stay busy and post about them – having no sad posts etc. But I’m afraid that even though he loves me, he just wants to be independent?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017 at 2:52 pm

Don’t expect he’s going to go fulfill that..did you mean if you’re going to text him this sept 11? Nope..

Cara

June 10, 2017 at 3:50 pm

Hoping my comments/questions didn’t disappear…

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 13, 2017 at 4:44 pm

You can try your idea on Facebook.. And I can send your letter but it’s not a guarantee that Chris can answer

Cara

June 9, 2017 at 12:37 am

This is such an excellent article because it hits on what many articles don’t about the “Subte signs he’s missing you”. I have shared my story before on here and my ex and I have been broken up (if you can call it that) for the last year and a half….and I wrote on here about how he sent me a well-written Apology (this past February) where he took ownership and admitted to the huge mistake he made after I called him out on something 6 months prior to the apology. I know that he’s very stubborn and proud so for him to apologize by text after weve had no contact for 6 months is huge. I did reply the next day thanking him for the apology and I was receptive. I was receptive because I do want him back and attempts to text him in the past would fall flat even after 30 day no contact and I’ve tried this several times. The ONLY connection we have now is Facebook, and i KNow he stalks me on there, has me on a notification , and when I go on FB, he almost 90% of the time goes off. He barely posts anything in the last year, which I take to him trying to incite interest in him and wonder what he’s been up to. These are all my subtle clues he misses me and I can’t prove them but I’m very sure I’m right as it’s been a pattern that has been going on for a year. I have diligently posted about me being out, having fun, and made sure I looked hot in all my photos. Nothing seems to get this guy from missing me to actually texting me to ask me out again. The only thing I have is the recent apology. So MY thinking is that maybe I need to stay “scarce” on FB so he doesnt’ have that connection to me, because I feel like it gives him a sense of power that he can see what I”m up to and he thinks I’m looking for him on there, etc. I’m trying to make sense of the lines in this article “f your ex misses you and he’s trying to keep that connection alive without re-establishing the relationship then you staying focused on him will give him access to you.
However, if you stop focusing on him, then you remove that. By taking away any access he has to you, then any distance he feels will be amplified. His need to reach out will be amplified, too. ”

So doesn’t that imply that in my situation it’s smarter to use the value of scarcity on Facebook? Meaning I post less often than I used to, and not log in as much? LIke should I skip a day or two when I don’t log in at all? (I have noticed that when I’ve been super busy and don’t log in he goes on there right away so he’s clearly watching for me.)

My second question is if he sent me the apology, doesn’t that mean he’s highly unlikely to be seeing someone at the time he sent it?
Third, I REALLY want to send Chris the apology word for word privately so have him give me his opinion. Is there a way I can do that? Thank you!!!

Cara

June 9, 2017 at 1:36 am

A trusted guy friend of mine says he didn’t have to send the apology but I obviously meant something to him and that’s why he sent it. He also said that my ex didn’t follow up to ask me out after the apology cause he’s still not sure, but mainly did it to still keep me as an option or put me in “Dormant” status should he decide to pursuee again in the future. I wanted to know if the EBR site agrees with this feedback?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 13, 2017 at 4:45 pm

You can try your idea on Facebook.. And I can send your letter but it’s not a guarantee that Chris can answer

Jane

June 8, 2017 at 1:16 pm

Hi Brad,

What about if your ex jumped into a relationship before yours even ended. We were together almost a decade (married 8) and he was acting really strange for a while. I tried everything to salvage the relationship but it felt like it was a one way street. When I threatened to leave, he begged me to stay and that he will change and make me a priority. Well, that didn’t last. Towards the end of the relationship, while he was asking me for forgiveness for another emotional affair he had (talking to another female), he bought me flowers – that’s not something he usually does, and replayed our proposal, etc. However, even that didn’t last long because soon after it all went downhill (his parents also played a huge part in this), we eventually agreed to divorce because I was emotionally drained and felt blamed for everything by him and his parents. A few days after, I find out he was talking to another girl he had just met and right after we agreed to separate he went to see her. They would talk for hours over the phone and he did all this while asking me to forgive him and buying me flowers. I was devastated because I felt betrayed all over again. I confronted him, he shocked I found out and initially denied it. At first he acted like he didn’t really want the divorce but yet was still filling out the papers. I then realized that I didn’t want to go through with it and that it was worth fighting for us. He then decided that he thought this was be for the best and that he still had “hope” that maybe in the future we could be together. After this, when he went to his parents, it all turned into how I had contributed to most of his erratic behaviour. I was dumbfounded as I was always there for him for everything supporting him in any way. Now he is in a relationship with this girl and it feels like the years that we spent together and everything that we have been through have had no meaning to him. I am so confused. He did tell me when I spoke to him last that he didn’t love her and that he couldn’t be alone and didn’t want to face his emotions and that parts of him still love me. He even wanted me to send him all of our pictures throughout the years. If this is true, why does he look happy in pictures with her and he doesn’t even take the opportunity to reach out to me? How does he not reminisce about all how good I was to him and about how much we accomplished together and everything that we have been through.

Jane

June 16, 2017 at 5:11 pm

Hi Amor.

I have read through that article and it does seem as if he’s experiencing GIGS. honestly, I’ve read through almost all of them and listened to the podcasts as well. I don’t know what to do next. He has made a fake Facebook profile to stalk my profile and also said that he deleted Viber, which we used as our main communication tool. However, I have an app that shows when he comes online so I don’t think he deleted it but rather hid his timestamp. I know he doesn’t use it to talk to anyone else because he rarely comes on now.. I think he only does so to see if I have changed my profile picture.

He has yet to reach out and I have been in NC for 31 days now. He also just went on vacation with that girl but just got back =( I am so confused because she’s the opposite of everything he ever said attracted him in a female (culture, religion, education, etc…)
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2017 at 7:00 pm

that’s good.. initiate contact and dont stop improving yourself.. approach the situation like this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 11, 2017 at 4:25 pm

Hi Jane,

have you read this one?:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

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97 thoughts on “When Will My Ex Start Missing Me?”