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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
Sara
June 19, 2020 at 11:55 pm
Hi,
My boyfriend just broke up with me 4 days back we’ve known each other for nearly 5 year but we were just friends we fell in love just 5 months back we have family issues due to which we cannot be together I wanted to be friends we tried but few days back he said that he has to pull the bandage once and ended all relations with me didn’t even replay to my text and unfollowed me
Gia
May 26, 2020 at 7:51 pm
My ex deactivated his IG 5 days after he broke up with me. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to do/post anything that was “UG Girl”. I mean, I guess it’s better than being blocked entirely. Even he initiated, I know he’s hurting so that might be why. I just really wanted that platform to reattract. I will carry on of course and continue NC.. just feels even more final without him there. I guess my attitude needs to be that he’s missing out on a whole lot, too. I’m a great girl!
Emily
April 29, 2020 at 4:13 am
Hi,
Over a week ago, my long distance boyfriend asked for time alone (aka some space). He has a lot of stressful things going on in his life atm. He said he doesn’t want to lose our relationship, he doesn’t want me to forget him, and he isn’t leaving me. He said he still hopes we can meet after coronavirus lockdown is lifted. Moreover, he said that I could still text or call him. Even so, he insisted on a break for his mental well-being because he feels stressed and depressed. He mentioned being scared that things could change for us in the future and end badly, like they did with his ex fiance.
I agreed to the break, even though it hurts. The following day, I sent him a message to let him know I am here if he wants to talk, but I want him to be well and understand if he needs time. He saw the message, but he didn’t reply. After that, I started the NC. I plan to contact him after 30 days. Am I making a mistake?
3 days into no contact, I went on Facebook. I was watching a livestream. My boyfriend came online, was online for about an hour, and suddenly unfriended me on Facebook. I did send a friend request, that he ignored, but I didn’t contact him.
I’m 8 days into no contact and noticed he has now unfriended me on Twitter and Instagram.
Is he moving on? Should I reach out?
I am really confused. Please help me. I don’t know what to think or do, and my heart is breaking. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 6, 2020 at 9:13 pm
Hey Emily, I can not tell you if you should move on or not that is up to you. However you are only a few days into No Contact so make sure that you spend this time working on your Holy Trinity and see how you feel nearer the end of your No Contact if you want to get your ex back and reach out or if you want to move on.
Courtney
April 24, 2020 at 2:36 pm
Hi, so My Ex and I were with each other for 4 years Known each other for about 5, we’ve lived with each other had miscarriage, we’ve had more cons than pros during our relationship. Yet we have always been there for one another no matter what, together or not. We broke up about 5 months ago but we were still doing things couples do yet he was doing him cause I put it in my mind hey we’re both single don’t check him about anything even tho it hurt I was still coming to his moms house to be with them up until a week ago I Texted him and told him if he can’t keep it professional with the women he trains then he has to leave me alone for good because one of the ladies brought it to my attention that he was trying to talk to her so he texted me Back and told me not to text his phone anymore so it’s been a week now no contact from him nothing and I haven’t reached out to him. Me and his sister are really close so she was at her moms house yesterday so I went there to see them and he pulls up we didn’t speak nothing. Later that night I noticed he ended up unfollowing me on Instagram after only 2 weeks of following each other on there. Not sure how to feel I’m hurt because I still love him but I’m so confused
Linda
April 18, 2020 at 11:20 pm
Hi!
I broke up with my ex because I caught him in many lies and stuff with other girls. He messaged me early last week that he was sorry for treating me badly in our relationship and I deserve better than who he is right now. He wanted to keep a line of communication open these days. He told me that he was following me on my calendar to see my progress everyday and that he would change and grow into the man he would be for the both of us. I haven’t replied because I was trying to move on and was in a lot of pain and anger. Today I found out he’s unfollowed me on my calendar and deleted our shared notes on one of his accounts. Previously he’s unfollowed my calendar because he told me he was angry and annoyed (times when he broke up with me unlike this time). Is he angry after seeing my many updates? Should I take it as a sign that he’s trying to move on/give up on changing and his reconciliation efforts?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 25, 2020 at 9:25 am
Hi Linda, I would have told you to stop him from being able to follow your calendar anyway as you do not want him knowing where and who you are with all the time anyway. You need some mystery! I would follow the rules of NC for 45 days and then from there reach out with a text, the fact he got angry by seeing your progress is more that he is just dealing with his own emotions from the break up and possibly angry that you are doing fine without him. I would say he needs a break and this is where NC is important after a break up
Lucy
April 10, 2020 at 9:06 pm
This article was very interesting to read! I definitely think my ex is hurt and is trying to get over me. He is the one that broke up with me. After our breakup he wanted to remain friends but it was too hard for me. I needed time to heal. Our whole relationship was great. It was unclear why he broke up with me. We still have lots of love for each other but we are not talking. I don’t know what I can do to let him know I still want to be friends. I still want to be with him but only if this time he commits to me. It’s just strange because there was nothing wrong with our relationship. I think he was just not ready to commit to someone. What do you think? And also I don’t know how to feel about the unfollowing? Does this mean he’s going to move on for good?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 12, 2020 at 7:16 pm
Hi Lucy, don’t focus on social media movements as this is usually done during emotional times for your ex. So don’t even mention the un-following on SM when you eventually speak with him again. Have you spent any time following the rules of the No Contact? If not then start now 30 days and do not watch any of his SM for now. Work on your Holy Trinity and then when you are at day 31 you can reach out with a text or other type of message you prefer to speak with him, about something you know he is interested in and would have a short positive conversation, making sure you are the one to end the conversation first
James
April 9, 2020 at 1:07 pm
My ex and I were doing well. We had slept together and been very intimate and loving and she even called me her partner again. The relationship was toxic and she got scared of it repeating itself, so she says, and she backed off. She then hooked up with someone else and proceeded to ask me to start as friends because she didn’t know if she could forgive me. we had a great report until I shared something with her that had a clip of us from the past. She muted me on Instagram and asked me for 3 weeks of space. She seems to be donning well. And is texting and smiling in our online classes. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 9, 2020 at 9:43 pm
Hi James I would suggest that you complete a NC on her as she is well aware you are waiting for her to come back – I would do a 45 NC and during that time be chatting to other girls so she realises she does not have a hold on you. If the relationship was toxic as you say, I would suggest that you focus on moving on
J
April 3, 2020 at 3:57 pm
My ex deleted me from everything not sure if he blocked me but we broke up recently when I discovered he was smoking crack cocaine and I left him . I feel very guilty right now bc his condition isn’t well he’s a 53 year old man that I had no idea this was his other side it’s an awful side I have never encountered in my life . I find this very difficult to move on not knowing if he’s okay . Should I contact one of his friends is something I’m contemplating can you please help me work this out on what to do from this point it’s been only four days but I’m feeling helpless I don’t know if he’s blocked me via phone but good chance he will not reply so just as well
Natalie Mclean
March 23, 2020 at 7:44 pm
My ex and I have been on off for about 7 months but we’re official for a couple of months. He talked about going on holiday with me and the possibility of moving in together. He went away with the boys for a Weekend and as a rule I know I never hear from him, however on one of the nights he was texting me how he misses me and says he can’t wait to be together as a team. I said I missed him too and can’t wait for him to come home and be his partner in crime. The next day he texted to say it was his friend texting me those things and he didn’t know. I was then meant to see him a couple of days later and he said he wanted space. I asked if I had done something and he said no he just wanted his space. I said I respect that and left him be. Two days later after no contact I noticed he deleted me off Facebook. So I said I noticed you’ve deleted me off Facebook I assume you want to break up? His response was leave my stuff outside your door. I asked for an explanation and he said he wasn’t feeling it. However, he still has me on Instagram and watches away at my stories? I don’t really get it? ….
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
March 24, 2020 at 12:58 am
Hi Natalie, so with and on and off again relationship you fall into a pattern every time a problem raises in the relationship. If you want this to change then something has to change about you and your ex. So if he behaves this way he may be the type who just enjoys the “honeymoon” phase of a relationship and when that wears off… he stops “feeling” the relationship. You need work the Ungettable girl information and apply this to your life and stick to a no contact during this time. If he reaches out to you in the next 45 days just ignore him. And then reach out with a text that Chris suggests in his articles and videos
Galilea
January 25, 2020 at 1:29 am
Hi, I need help please, I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years, during those 3 years we only broke up once, and after that we fell so hard in love we were freaking best friends we shared so much!!! It was like we were freaking soulmates!!!! then last year around October he told me he didn’t feel the same way anymore, i was broken and told him i needed time i told him to give me a month, but after 3 weeks he contacted me and told me he missed me, i fell for it and broke the 30 day no contact, we talked again all normal but he started detaching himself again, then on December 25th he told me he was seeing someone else and that it was getting serious (he told me this through FaceTime) when he said that all i told him was “have a good life” and i hanged up on him i didnt let him say more then, hours later i sent him a “goodbye” text and he never replied to it and it seems hes dating this girl already, i miss him so much i havent contacted him at all! It’s gonna be a month without talking to each other this Saturday the 25th….i want to talk to him and earn him back go back to how we were, i still havent accepted hes moved on! So i have been doing this 30 day no contact rule again, but im worried he’s not going to reach out this time, i unfollowed him that same day he told me that, but he didn’t and he would watch my stories without fail! & today i checked i lost 2 followers And saw it was him from both of his instagram profiles but he still follows my finsta, what do you think chris please help!!!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 25, 2020 at 10:42 pm
Hi Galilea, you need to do the work to become Ungettable during your No Contact as this is not going to just be about you not reaching out to him. You have to work to become your best self and at the end of your No Contact you reach out with a text that Chris suggests
Lindsay
January 20, 2020 at 1:13 pm
Hi Chris!
Desperate for some advice, my ex broke up with me about a month and a half ago and we lived in the same flat. We only speak about flat logistics as he is moving out at the end of this month. It has been friendly and respectful, but NC has been difficult because of this. Things have been amicable and the breakup was due to “lack of spark” but after analysing it all, I know it was a mix of him not being able to maturely communicate his feelings and me being fully dependent on him and the relationship. Once he collects his things from the flat, do I start NC from scratch? I won’t be in the country so I am giving him the space to do this himself. Also as I have been focusing on myself I have been posting stories and photos on Instagram of me having fun, enjoying life. He was constantly watching my stories and I did not watch his. After this weekend I went out with some guy friends and had an amazing time, and posted a photo of my guy friends. Sunday, I realised he unfollowed me following the weekend. I’m not sure what this means but I am still looking at improving me, but worry this has hurt my chances of us reconciling. When is it best I reach out, following the finalising of flat logistics or 30-45 days after that? Hope you can help!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 22, 2020 at 3:03 pm
Hi Lindsay, if you are able to move out sooner, do so so that you can complete a real No Contact. If it is not possible keep to your LNC and spend as much time as you can away from him even if you stay out late with your friends. Allow him some space in that flat to worry why you are not home, who you could be with and when you get home go straight to bed so that he feels that he is losing you slowly.
Mechelle
December 31, 2019 at 5:43 am
My ex and I have been broken up since Dec 4th and i have successfully done no contact since the 5th (setting up a time for him to pick up his things and return my keys). I noticed that he religiously watched my insta stories until a couple of weeks a guy I when it became more sporadic. Now he only seems to watch stories from my business page so I did a quick search and saw he unfollowed my personal page. Do you think this means no contact isnt working? Do I still reach out after 45-60 days?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 3, 2020 at 5:58 am
Hi Mechelle, usually this is an emotional reaction so he may have seen something that made him struggle to deal with his emotions so not seeing what you are doing is the easier option for him. It is not a bad thing so dont worry. And he is still watching your business page so he is still aware of how well you are doing so make sure you are doing work to be ungettable and use social media to your advantage to show that
cila
November 7, 2019 at 6:37 am
hello me and my ex were together for a year bcz of a lot of problems happened to him he felt pressured and took a decision to break up with me cz he felt it’s the right choice now and he can’t be with someone it’s been 3 months now he didn’t text me even once i always check up on him like around 4 times since the 3 months plus he unfollowed me on social media and i can’t move on i really love him and want him back what should i do plz i need a help and he keep posting like story’s of something not important even he post now something not that important what do u think ? he just being stubborn do u think we had a chance to get back together cz i really miss him i keep thinking of him 24/7 can’t get over himi really need a help
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 8, 2019 at 10:18 pm
Hi Cila so have you not spoken in the last 3 months? Has it been positive? Have you compelted a full NC yet?
Complete a full No Contact of 45 days, then you need to reach out to him as a friend, asking for advice or help on a topic that you know he would be interested in or knowledgeable about
Kate
September 15, 2019 at 8:23 am
Hi, I’m having the opposite problem. My ex has been storystalking me for 2 years now on snapchat, daily. At first it seems like he couldn’t move on and might come back. This is taking way too long now and it doesn’t let me move on properly.. Should I block him from seeing my stories?
I think it might be better that if he’s just being curious, he’d just check my public Instagram since I wouldn’t know about it then.. I still feel hope for him coming back but at the same time, it cannot be taking this long, but why would anyone watch their ex daily, even weekly for sooo long.
I don’t really want to text him about it tbh. It’s so frustrating.
X
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 15, 2019 at 1:26 pm
Hi Kate, if you want him back then no dont block him. Look at the texting information on how to build rapport with him.
Jade
August 30, 2019 at 9:37 am
Hello,
So I’m in no contact with my ex and it’s been only a week, I firstly unfollowed my ex because I wanted to try and stop looking at him. He still followed me. But a ew days later he then unfollowed me? Was it just to get at me? He must of checked to see if I unfollowed him right?
I just want to know if it’s a good sign or not 🙁
Thanks
Clara
August 11, 2019 at 8:54 pm
Hey I have been in relationship with my ex six months, and our relationship was great but one day he just started to be cold to me it happend litteraly over night ,I tried to speak with him to like see what problem was but he never wanted to speak with me , he ignored me.. I asked few times if he wants brakeup and he said no but one day his best friend came to me and said :”I didnt want to come between you two but it hurts me how he treats you” and he told me my ex told him that he wanted to break up with me because he got bored so I broke up with him after I was sorry i did it because of anger and tried to talk to him to see how he feels but he just kept beeing cold and he was treating me like he hates me i asked him because he doesnt like me anymore to be friends and to say hi when we see each other he agreed but after started doing opposite also he unfollowed me on social media … I really dont know what is he thinking is there chance to be back again because i really love him he is my first true love i think about him every day can you please tell me what to do ??
Anna
August 7, 2019 at 10:40 pm
Hi there, my ex and I dated for almost a year. we went backpacking had a wonderful time then hung out the whole week before he ended it. He even had changed when he said I love you every night to “I love you so much.” Then he showed up with my things and said we weren’t compatible and that he didn’t want to live together when he got his new place. That I told him to tell me if he was having doubts to let me know so I didn’t waste my time. (which is true.) he ends it by saying he hopes we can be friends in the future but realizes it will take time. We then proceed to not talk for three weeks (no contact rule). We are still friends on all social media, I do not like or comment on any of his things and vice versa. My birthday happens and he wishes me happy birthday. I just say thank you hope you are having a good time with your friend Andy. (i knew this prior to break up so not creepy stalker info)
The next day I post on instagram for the first time and he likes the post. The day after liking the post he unfollows me from instagram and snapchat. Still remaining friends on facebook. I became a hot head and unfriended him on facebook. What is happening? Please help me, I miss him so much. I’ve been hiking alone to try and get over him but I’m so miserable. Why did he wait three weeks to unfriend me? Why like a post then unfollow? PLEASE HELP ME!
Cece
July 31, 2019 at 5:20 am
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend and I were together for about 2 years before breaking up. I initiated the break up, but after thinking it over, I suggested we try couples therapy as the last attempt to try to work on our communication issues. However, he stated he was done, so we ended it. It was pretty bad and he was very cold towards me, which isn’t like him at all. He soon unfollowed me on Instagram and Facebook. Immediately after, I noticed he started following numerous girls. I miss him and think about him everyday. Since he is following girls and liking their pictures on Instagram, should I assume he’s moved on and there’s no hope of rekindling our relationship? We haven’t spoken since our break up 2 months ago. Although we’ve had a few heated arguments, this is our first break up. Please help! Thank you
Emma
July 13, 2019 at 6:58 pm
My ex left me for someone else. I immediately inacted no contact. I completed and we started messaging and it’s been positive. He is still with the other woman but he has been staring at me alot in the gym and liking my insta posts again the whole time he was always the first to see my stories. He posted a picture of his dogs on Instagram and I said that they were so cute I miss them. His current girlfriend liked my post then next thing I know he’s unfollowed me on Instagram. I’m thinking his girlfriend told him to do this out of jealousy. Should I go back into no contact?
Chris Seiter
July 13, 2019 at 10:06 pm
Hi Emma…I think returning to NC is a reasonable approach – but be sure to put the emphasis on your own personal recovery and growth as that is important in so many ways for different reasons.
Kaity
July 12, 2019 at 9:06 am
Hey Chris!
I really need your help or anyone please. Basically my and my ex split 5 weeks ago. I text him 4 days post breakup asking if we can talk? I then rang him a few times but of course he didn’t answer so I decided to go no contact. I am now on day 28 of no contact and I’ve noticed he deleted me on a game we both play. Me and my ex are both gamers and he doesn’t have social media. Why did he delete me after 28 days? He hasn’t reached out AT ALL during no contact. I read this article but I’m worried none of those reasons apply to me and he’s just moving on 🙁 please help!!
Thank you.