Why Do Men Always Seem To Come Back Once They Think You Have Moved On?

178 thoughts on “Why Do Men Come Back After You Ignore Them”

Melissa

August 5, 2020 at 12:12 am

My ex and i broke up last year, initially i did the no contact and it worked, we started dating each other again and were meeting for over 6 months to work on getting our relationship back. I recently found out he has been seeing another girl, he begged me to give things another shot stating this was a huge mistake however I’m not so sure, i am currently not speaking to him and I’m unsure what to do about the situation I’m in. He says he loves me dearly but needs time and space, what should i do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 8, 2020 at 11:23 pm

Hey Melissa, you go into a NC and work on yourself and the Holy Trinity to show your ex that you are not going to wait around for him to be ready, start dating casually when you feel ready and use social media for your ex to see that you are doing great and positive things with your life during your NC and afterwards too.

Stacy

July 29, 2020 at 8:00 pm

my boyfriend always blocks me after argument , sometimes over unnecessary things juss because he thinks I’ll alwayd be there for him and that i love him so much. last four days he blocked me because of some bullshit he made me do . had enough of him and I’ve blocked him back. juss wanna do this for months juss to know if he’ll stop that nonsense . is that too much? my intention of blocking him is juss to let him be scared and end that stupid behaviour. am i wrong?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 31, 2020 at 11:25 am

Hi Stacy, I would say that you need to evaluate your relationship as blocking each other when emotional / angry is quite immature way of dealing with problems but it also causes deeper problems in your relationship. If your ex and you start to speak again, I would suggest that you both agree to learn how to communicate healthily if you want your relationship to work long term

Andrea

July 29, 2020 at 2:47 pm

My ex and I dated for three months and everything was perfect (he himself admitted that), but he was “too scared” to continue the relationship and suffers from insecurity and self esteem issues. I did everything perfectly during our relationship and as we ended things (told him I respected his decision and just wanted him to be happy). I started no contact, but a week later my father ended up in the hospital and he found out from one of his siblings who is friends with my sister. He reached out to me and we talked for about ten days but I would ignore his texts for hours or up to a full day and he would continue texting until eventually he left me on read as I had ended the conversation (I had tried to end the conversation before but he would initiate again). Will he come back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 2, 2020 at 9:55 am

Hi Andrea, it is hard to say if he is going to come back. But you can start following the program and work on your connection so that you speak more often and see if it progresses

Turiella Kanyky

June 17, 2020 at 5:37 am

He started ignoring me and after I called him multiple times he mentioned he was ignoring me cause of my attitude.
Jade

June 8, 2020 at 8:25 pm

Hi , me and my boyfriend were dating for two years then he broke up without a proper reason because he was going through a lot of stress including grief. He said he couldn’t handle it at the moment. I stop texting him and never contacted him but he text me a week in for three days asking me meaningless questions and I replied. Is that bad ? And then I ignored him for ages again like for barely under 30 days then I text him once about an important topic and then ignored him again . All together it’s been like a month and 2 weeks. Do you think he’ll come back if I didn’t do anything wrong and we had such a good relationship.
Michelle

May 23, 2020 at 1:33 am

Please please help…
I’m 41 and my boyfriend is 40. Everything has been perfectly fine in our relationship but out of nowhere he stopped responding and haven’t heard from him in 10 days. I know he’s alive because he has been posting things on Facebook. Were still in a relationship on Facebook so why won’t he changed his status to single? Should I change mine I don’t know what to do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 29, 2020 at 11:13 pm

Hi Michelle, I would suggest that you let him make the moves regards to social media.

Sia

May 16, 2020 at 4:19 pm

I walked away from him. I blocked him on social media and changed my number because he gave me no other choice he was hot and cold. The last straw was when I decided to let him talk to me and meet me after nine months of him trying to contact me with vague messages and hi and hello and don’t you dare ignore me. I gave him that time to grow and work on himself and that’s why I stayed away and also for me to grow and have a life without him. When I let him back he tried initially but went back to his old ways of being manipulative and changed his mind when I discussed that I had started meeting and talking to another guy who was treating me very well. My ex wanted me to leave this potential new guy for him but I couldn’t do my ex did a 180. We agreed to parting and then a month later he was asking to meet up. I told him he wasn’t listening that I was interested in a undefined relationship and that this wasn’t fair. He said it had nothing to do with fair. I tried to call him to discuss what was going on with him he rejected my call. He said no to the call and said if I didn’t want to meet then to leave it. I was hurt deeply because he couldn’t even speak to me yet he wanted me to come and meet him for his own needs. Luckily I only went so far with him on the physical side of things because that’s all I was starting to feel like a conquest. When he rejected my call I told him not to expect anything from me anymore and that I was changing my number and he said that’s fine. I was really hurt that one moment he would be begging for me to come back because I was the only one that cared then switching to this cold behaviour. I proceeded to change my number even though it pained me to do so and even though I deeply cared for him. He tried to add me on various Instagram accounts after but again he was just saying hello, ?, I want to see you. He wasn’t saying anything that demonstrated that he’d treated me like rubbish. I last heard from him two months ago and haven’t since. I did this to stop the cycle that had been ongoing for over a year where I felt undervalued even though I still care for him deeply. I don’t know if I’ve done the write thing and made him just hate me. I know it was the only choice to preserve my mental health. Over the 9 months I stayed away he’d used three numbers, two Instagram accounts and a new Facebook to just get a reaction from me. I think he’s probably moved on now but I don’t know why there’s a part of me that wants him to fight for me it’s silly and unrealistic and most unlikely to happen and so I should probably focus on myself.
Candice

May 15, 2020 at 2:08 pm

Hi
My ex told me we needed to drop contact until I decided what I wanted so I did 30 days no contact and he contacted me a few times but ignored until I reached day 30. We chatted for a week, first day he was lovely and then gradually he dropped into saying things about not talking again he wainting to date, giving me an ultimatum to decide or he will move on. I basically ignored the comments where as in the past I would react, he then said he was surprised by my lack of fight. I ignored it and then half an hour later he wished me luck for the future and said it was the last time I’d hear from him. I didnt reply. I know hes on dating apps. What do I do next?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 20, 2020 at 7:15 pm

Hi Candice, so your ex sounds as if he knew you wanted to get back with him, this time around when you complete your NC you need to be sure that you are also on dating apps and appearing to be moving on while also following the texting phase. I suggest that you complete another 30 days while working on your holy trinity

Naomi

May 3, 2020 at 4:52 pm

My boyfriend and I have had an on/off relationship for the past 3 years. He fights and gets angry about my past sexual experiences, but always comes back after 1-2 days. This time I gave him an ultimatum to either leave the relationship for good or to get engaged and never talk about my past again.
He said it’s hard for him to just forget my past and suggested to stay friends. I told him that I wouldn’t accept it. That was the last thing I wrote to him. Will the no contact period work for us and will he ever change?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 7, 2020 at 9:04 pm

Hi Naomi, it is unfair that he is using your past against you when you were not in a relationship. However yes I think No Contact could work if he wants to be with you, the best thing for you to do is work the Holy Trinity and work to be the best version of yourself, he is going to see this more than likely get jealous, but be sure not to be flirty with other guys during this time. Your no contact needs to be around 30 days. I also would not put pressure on getting engaged when the relationship is not solid at this time, he needs to accept that people have pasts, just as I am sure he does

Jacquelyn Ruggiero

April 29, 2020 at 5:52 pm

We had been dating for a while things were great but I noticed he got comfortable and starting texting less throughout the day I would mention to him and he would get very irritated. One Saturday he told me it was his friends birthday and he only invited his girl and guy friends. I got upset and sort of went off he got angry and said leave me alone your making me mad. I sort of broke up with him and tried to communicate and apologize but he went cold. We agreed to meet up 2 times and he never followed through. I text him once a week to try to meet up for 3 weeks. He agreed each time but never happened. I never mentioned I missed him or I love him after our argument that Saturday
It’s been 3 weeks and he only reached out one time to tell me his friend shot a video of him jumping off the pier with a random girl and he told me not to worry and get upset that it’s just a random girl. He called me babe when I tried to follow up with meeting up he said he was drunk so I’m guessing it slipped out. Should I start absolutely not contact ? Help

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 6, 2020 at 4:19 pm

Hey Jacquelyn, so yes you need to start a no contact period – one where you spend your time focused on you and do not watch any of his online activity.

Heather

April 23, 2020 at 8:17 pm

He broke up last week out of the blue! I did not see it coming at all. The only thing he said was that “he doesn’t want to answer to anyone” we were together for a year and a half. Never once did I expect him to answer to me. Spoke with a mutual friend and this friend said my ex said I did nothing wrongs don’t he just didn’t want to answer to someone. I don’t get it. We had a good thing going. Didn’t fight, but talked things out. We always had a good time when we were together. He told a mutual friend he could see being with me for the rest of his life. I am so hurt and still in a bit of shock
Jessica

April 23, 2020 at 4:50 am

Hey, for me and my ex is the 5th time that break up. I every time had accepted the break up and let him think i was just fine (but only my friends know the truth, opposite). After nearly one month of pause he always comes back to me begging, and we say it is the last time. This time it was me who initiated the break up because he lied to me and wasn’t apologizing in a proper way, he seemed so indifferent. He said we will talk about it later and he still haven’t contacted me after 2 days of saying that. He is with his friends doing things. But i want him back badly, even just to discuss about all that happened. Will he this time come again but he does this only because he knows I’m always here waiting? Or he is not in love with me anymore? We had 5 years together…

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 11:42 am

Hi Jessica, it sounds as if your relationship is classed as an on and off relationship which would mean that your ex probably would come back eventually but you also would probably break up again too as you are falling into the same patterns. You need to complete a 45 day NC and during that time work on yourself, assess the relationship to why you keep breaking up, what needs to be improved and what you can do to help.But if he spends the whole time not working on himself then the issues could repeat. Working to becoming Ungettable is important part of this process so spend your time doing that

Bart

April 19, 2020 at 7:15 am

Im in the relationship with my partners and we are both men..
Is this method still works in my situation,
The root cause yes i already knew it but after we brokeup, im just too needy and pushy, and kind of insecure as well.
I believe i made him feel stuck.
He ask for his space and his own time but i failed to provide him because im afraid of losing him, so i always want to be by his side.
I did beg for him to come back at first because i have no idea of what im doing and how am i supposed to do to get him back.
But i noticed since the day we broke up, he didn’t even get out of his house, hes isolated him self in his room, hes seems soo depressed, untill a week after i didnt met him and contact him, i came to met him at his house, he dont say much for every question i ask, he just used his head to communicate, and very few words.
I told him i dont like to see him living his life like this, he should go out and enjoy his life as i no longer disturbing him, he seems sad.. his eyes told me everthing, i know he loved me soo much before..
And day after that he started to go out to reach for his friend, before this yes im the type of person who had issue with jealously.. hes cant be comfort to hang out with anyone because of me, but after i realized everthing was my fault, i did my best to give him all his friend, his life, his everything.
Hes started to smile to everyone, and started to laugh again, but not to me.. but i dont really mind about it as long as i did what i have to.
Hes even come to my place with his friend and seems enjoy but not fully.. because we’ve been together for almost 3 years with serious deep connections, sexs and everthing happen in the relationship.
I left him again for another weeks and after that he came to my place again with his friend and was mine too..
I call him to the room for a chat, nothing much just asking hows hes life now, he said much better, hes not angry with me and doesn’t hate me anymore but he didn’t love me.. maybe hes lying bcoz when he hate me i know he wont even want to come to my place even with anyone.
At the end of conversation before we get out from the room i ask for a hug, and he hug me tightly, like never before, i kiss his cheeks and he kissed mine.
Yesterday i ask about whether he want to get back or not he just kept silent..
I told him i cant go on like this, i cant be friend with him like this because it hurts me and him too..
So i decided to let him go completely at least for a period of time.
I told him i done my part and the rest is up to him.
If he want us to get back then he should let me know,
And its also depends on me, i didn’t promise i will accept it anytime he want it.
Soo i guess i did the wrong thing..
Is it ok if i proceed NC for a couple of time again?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 5:55 pm

Hey there Bart, yes it would be a case of going into a NC be sure that you are focusing on your Holy Trinity at this time

M

April 16, 2020 at 7:09 pm

My BF broke up with out of anger. He has been stressed out over this COVID19, he got laid off and admits he is scared because of his asthma. He has been taking it out on me. I supported him and told him he needs to be positive. But because he continued to be mean i walked away after he tried to kiss me. He texted me we are done and he is tired of me disrespecting him. I replied ok and left it at that. Usually after a small dispute a I would cry like a baby and tell him we need to work on us. But I gave him a whole different reaction because I dont think I did wrong. I think he really means it though that we are done. But what could he be feeling.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 24, 2020 at 7:56 pm

Hi M allow him some space and allow him to deal with this situation the way he feels best, it is difficult as we are all dealing with this pandemic in our own ways.

Becca

April 16, 2020 at 2:52 pm

Hey, what do u mean “decide if you want him back or not then you start the texting phase” how should i do this?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 20, 2020 at 1:29 pm

After you have completed No Contact and are due to text your ex. If you decide that you no longer want your ex back then just dont reach out keep with the NC indefinitely. If you want your ex back then start the texting phase

Zara

April 14, 2020 at 8:59 pm

Hello! I was in a long distance relationship with someone I’ve known for 3 months. We fell in love really quickly but later is started to feel he was turning a little cold and a little distant. I was going through a personal loss and I broke up with him because I didn’t feel he was investing enough in the relationship. He said although he loved me, he would respect my decision. This was 5 days ago, NC during this time. I’ve realized I miss him, I love him and I want him back. Is it ok to reach out to him? I’d rather lose my pride than losing him forever

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 10:23 pm

Hi Zara, I would follow a 21 day rule and then reach out to him so that he has some time to adjust and know that you have taken time to work on yourself before starting the texting phase to get him back

Becca

April 13, 2020 at 1:31 pm

Hello! Me and my boyfriend lasted for year. we broke up last week. Before we break up, he cheated on me. After i found out that he cheated on me, he begged for chance. So i gave him chance and i stay in the relationship for 2weeks. Suddenly, he texted me sayin that he doesnt love me anymore and he told me “i dont hate you. I just dont love you anymore”. since right now hes with his family during this lockdown, i asked his mother and sister, is he contacting other girls? and his mother said no because he barely playing with his phone. he just watching TV everyday. I couldnt stop crying since the day he left me. What should i do? Do u think theres any chances he will comeback to me if i follow the “30 days no-contact rules”. Any idea?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 11:18 pm

Hi Becca, the 30 day NC is not about getting your ex back its about taking some time apart to allow yourself to reset your emotions, decide if you want him back or not and then you start the texting phase

Katrina

April 13, 2020 at 12:58 am

Hi! I broke up with my ex around 25 days ago because he wasn’t communicating with me and I was always the one who would bring up issues in the relationship such as not having enough intimacy and time together. I sent him a very respectful message with a lot of love, thanking him as well as apologizing for my mistakes. He responded with a long message saying that he loves me very much but wants us both to be happy so he agreed to the breakup. We both cried but decided to end it. Since then, he has taken down all photos of us on social and we haven’t spoken since the breakup. Is there a chance he’ll message me or would he just accept the situation and move on?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 22, 2020 at 12:51 am

Hi Katrina, there is a chance he will reach out but we advice that you reach out after 30 days so that you can start building your connection again. The important thing is that you end the conversation first not your ex

Maria

April 7, 2020 at 6:58 pm

My ex and I were friends before anything. When we were first friends back then we hooked up and he caught feelings for me but I didnt like him back at all. He pursued me for 3 months before i started to like him back. We lasted around 4 months, he tells me he loves me and misses me, and always tries to reach back to me but i didnt like how he treated me after he got into a relationship with me. I always argued with him because he stopped putting in the effort after he got me so we were always fighting almost everyday and one day out of nowhere he broke up and left me and told me to block him, and to stop talking to him, I was confused but I granted his wish and left him alone. 3 days later he come back saying he wants me back that he made a mistake. So I’m like what? Make up your mind you cant come back whenever you feel like it. I speak to him once in a while because honestly I dont feel like talking to him sometimes but i do end up speaking to him. I’m not sure what to do because I refuse to settle for less. I’m ignoring him at the moment but i’m not sure if i want to move on or give him another chance. I’m also curious on why he left me and thought he can get me back just like that. I told him many times how i felt and he still didnt change his actions and sometimes dismissed my feelings.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 12, 2020 at 9:27 pm

Hi Maria, from the sounds of things you are expecting more from a relationship than what he was giving you and this may just be who you are as people in relationships. When you say your break up came out of no where, the constant arguing would be the reason for the break up as it does take its toll on people mentally when they are always arguing with someone. The fact he wants to come back now that his emotions and negative feelings towards the relationship is common as you have stuck with NC since. I would suggest considering if you think you and he work as a relationship, from the sounds of things you both have different ideas of what one should be doing

Carolyne

April 2, 2020 at 7:05 am

Well i think I am at the end of my rope here. We dated for several months in 2019 and started talking about settling down. He asked for a break and I ended things. I tried unsuccessfully to do the 30 day no contacts and then did it successfully to which he texted me. I responded and no response back. Waited another month and texted , he told me to lose his number, waited 45 days and he responded quite a lot. Suddenly he has a new girlfriend and is back to not responding again. I’ve lost weight gotten a bigger place really polished myself and garnered a small following. However his friends and family members were adding me on Facebook frequently. This new girl posted something about him “entertaining hoes” and he said he’s handled it which was effectively him ghosting me again. I just don’t know what direction to take anymore tbh. Also we’re long distant and this new girl lives in my state. HELP! Do I move on? How?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 9, 2020 at 8:29 pm

Hi Carolyne it is up to you if you want to move on I can not tell you what to do. If you want to get him back it starts with a 45 NC and working on yourself and then start the being there method

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178 thoughts on “Why Do Men Come Back After You Ignore Them”