50 thoughts on “Why Does My Ex Boyfriend Want to Be Friends With Me?”

1. 

   Janael Urcel

   January 12, 2018 at 1:49 pm

   Can I tell him That I don’t want us to speak anymore before starting the no contact rule?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 14, 2018 at 10:25 pm

   Hi Janael,

   it depends but not in that way..

2. 

   Cecilia

   January 3, 2018 at 8:34 pm

   Hi! So I met this guy back in October from an online dating app. We really hit it off in the beginning and we really enjoyed hanging out with each other. He said he didn’t want a relationship because he got off a 5-year relationship with a girl he was wanting to marry at the time. We would meet up a lot and then when the holidays rolled around (Thanksgiving and Christmas) we didn’t meet up as we were both busy. He didn’t try to make plans to meet up even when I kept asking. So I guess that pushed him away. Yesterday, he decided that we should be friends. Today is the first day of us being friends but we aren’t texting as much. He said we can meet up maybe next week. I really like him and he seems into me too but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me. So in summary, we dated for a little less than 3 months and now he decided that we should be friends. Would the 30-day no contact rule work? Should I just continue being friends with him?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 5, 2018 at 9:32 pm

   Hi Cecilia,
   it’s not a guarantee that it will in any case but it increases your chances.

3. 

   WL

   November 6, 2017 at 3:37 am

   Hi Amor, my ex did not say anything abt being friends with me. We did not talk in public because we meet up with friends for sport twice everytime a week and we share the same gang of friends. But whenever a friend ask abt us, he say we’re friends now. I did go over to his place at times (he did not once come and pick me up or come and look for me after the break up) because i wanted to so called ‘renew the relationship’. He did not request me to go over too. Sometimes when i ask if he has time so i could go over and look for him, he said that he needs to finish his assignment and all. He doesnt sound like those if you wanna come over then you can come, we have sex type. We talked and laughed like friend and he often put his hand around me and pull me into his arms. We still text like friends, but im the one who initiate and he’s very passive. But everytime when i go over his place he’s the one who initiate all the convo, ask me abt my work and initiate the hug. Are we friends ? Or are we not friends ? Looks like im the one who wanna be friends because i wanted to get him back.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   November 6, 2017 at 10:37 am

   Well, as long as you’re having sex or had sex w/o commitment, that means you’re friends with benefits

4. 

   Arlene

   October 13, 2017 at 3:45 am

   Hi! Help! I gave in to being “just friends” with my ex. His reasoning for wanting this was because of everything on the positives list, minus the children. I know he still has feelings for me, but because of all the stresses he has going on, he doesn’t want a relationship right now (close to possibly not getting into med school, parents being diagnosed with cancer, and coping with his random episodes of depression. We’re also each other’s mental support, mainly because our relationship was built on friendship, which is why he says he considers me his best friend (I didn’t say I consider him my best friend even though I do). Another reason is because we work together, so it’s best to be friends/civil to not start conflict at work. Before reading this article, I agreed to be friends with him! So I’m not sure where to go from here!!!

   P.S. I am also in the process of reading EBR Pro! I just started reading and can’t put it down. But I unfortunately agreed to be friends with him before I came across the exboyfriend recovery website and purchased the book!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 14, 2017 at 10:00 am

   Hi Arlene
   Check this one:
   EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

5. 

   M

   August 17, 2017 at 7:23 pm

   Thanks for this article. Your story with N gives me hopes that I can be on good terms with my ex one day.

   I tried the ex recovery strategy until I realised I didn’t trust my ex anymore. He has a lot of personal issues, so he wasn’t in a place to commit anyway, but he was hurt when I said that a lot would have to change for us to get back together. We tried to be friends for a while, but we kept getting into arguments because there was a lot of hurt on both sides. We’re not talking now and I’m glad to get rid of that drama, but I still care about him tbh. Hope we can eventually move past the mess of the break-up.

6. 

   Amy

   August 14, 2017 at 2:00 pm

   My ex is currently talking to a girl he has had history with but they are not together. I heard they are at a stage where there have been many arguments and heated conversations. If I’m deciding on the best time to start talking again after no contact, should I wait it out till things are settled on his side first so that he doesn’t rely on me as a cushion of comfort to both complain and as a distraction on the side? Or should I speak to him during this time of turbulence. (he actually texted me after one of the heated episodes with this girl but I ignored him as I am still doing no contact). Thanks!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 14, 2017 at 9:22 pm

   Just build rapport.. You’re not supposed to know his current relationship problems..and he’s not supposed to know that you know because you will look like you’re stalking on him

7. 

   Frank carpio

   August 14, 2017 at 4:50 am

   Hi I really like the article. But my problem is the opposite my girlfriend wants to be friends, becuase she says she doesn’t want to loose contact with her best friend, and for me to completely cut her out of my life, when I brought it up to her that it’s best we do not talk she got very teary eyed, what do you recommend I do, is the no contact rule still useful in a situation like this ? Thanks for you help.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 14, 2017 at 8:52 pm

   Hi Frank,

   You can check this one:
   http://www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com

8. 

   Janelle

   August 11, 2017 at 8:53 pm

   Hello, this was a lovely article to read! My ex and I have recently broken up, we were dating for three years. He stated that he would like to maintain a platonic relationship with me, but I find that he tends to blur the lines. (One night when we were talking he held me from behind like a boyfriend would do and also wanted to say things that only a boyfriend could say). I’ve decided to give him the space he says he wants (we have had limited contact for about a month), but I’m not sure where to go from here. Do I begin building rapport? Where do I go from here?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 12, 2017 at 12:23 pm

   Hi Janelle,

   why did you have limited contact instead of full nc? Is it because he wants to be friends?

9. 

   Mandy

   August 11, 2017 at 12:06 am

   Thank you for the article! I enjoyed reading. I actually tried no contact with my ex and then he started to date someone else shortly after our relationship. They stayed together for a year (ours went 2 years) and at first I tried to the “being there” method but eventually stopped trying. On the day they broke up, he texted me and said he wanted to stay in contact. Its been a month or so and I haven’t received any new messages. At one point during the “being there” method he told me a lot of negative information about the girl he was seeing and said that he stalked my Instagram and that I was a sore subject for them. Right now there is a picture of a guy on my Instragram because I was trying to move on. My question is, what would be my best move (..I’m still not over him)?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 11, 2017 at 2:30 pm

   HI Mandy,

   if you want to build rapport, keep talking. If you want to move on and be with the new guy, stop talking to him.