Today we’re going to talk about why your ex is posting so much on social media.
When I say social media, I’m not talking about something specific like Facebook. I’m talking about all social media platforms
- Snapchat
- You name it
But if your not really into reading articles and want a broad overview of why your ex keeps posting on social media then this video is meant to help you understand their state of mind.
But first, one of the most asked questions that we get from our clients is, do I even have a chance of getting my ex back?
Now, if you’re sitting there wondering about that very question, I’ve got great news for you. I’ve put together a special quiz designed to answer you.
This quiz will give you an approximate idea of your chances of getting your ex back, and more importantly some of the next steps you should be taking. Just click here to take it!
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizA Quick Word On Going To Your Friends And Family For Help
A lot of times when people try to understand why their ex is posting so much on social media, the first place they turn to is their friends or family, and oftentimes those friends and family are actually quite cruel to them.
They say things like, “You shouldn’t be looking at that,” “Why are you so obsessed with what your ex is posting?” “You should be moving on!” and suchlike.
I don’t think those are very productive or sensitive answers; they don’t help with the pain of seeing your ex’s social media posts and him or her looking happy, as if they are moving on.
But it’s very difficult to put yourself in someone else’s position, and they don’t mean to be unhelpful. This article will try to unpick the reasons for all this social media activity, so you can understand and process it in a healthy way.
Is It A Good Sign That Your Ex Is Posting So Much On Social Media?
I’m not going to take a stance on whether or not you should get back with your ex in your particular situation (because really, that’s what we’re pushing you towards the quiz for) but I am going to help you with what’s really going on in your ex’s mind as he posts on social media.
Okay, so you’ve seen some pictures on Facebook, Snapchat or wherever of your ex apparently having an awesome time, with no regard to the breakup or your feelings.
This really upsets you – and that’s natural. But let me tell you that it can often be a good sign – yes, really! He (or she) is desperate to prove to the world and to you, the ex, that they are fine.
They have made the right decision to be apart from you, there are no regrets and now they can do all those things that they were thinking of when they were looking at that grass on the other side and thinking, “Wow, that’s greener.”
In reality, it just isn’t that simple. You had a relationship, a connection, good times as well as bad. They are hurting, even if they are trying to conceal that from you and from the world.
And – this is key – they are trying to convince themselves that everything is fine.
But just as a person can have an Instagram feed full of beautiful travel pictures but inside be super homesick, your ex can be posting happy images and be, well, not so happy at all.
How can you tell?
It all comes down to their habits. We are all creatures of habit – habits allow us to get through our days without overthinking every decision.
And we fall into social media habits too.
Some people will check in everywhere they go, post every day and make lots of stories. Some barely post at all. One man will post couples pictures – another will never do so.
Some people will delete all couples pictures, posts etc., others will leave them (and in case you’re wondering, you’re best not deleting such posts/photos, as it’s too emotional a response.).
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizI know a client whose ex blocked her on most of the social media channels.
She went in to No Contact, but a few posts sneaked through and she was confronted with him posting lots of check-ins, couple pictures and using hashtags like #makesmehappy.
All things he’d never done before with her.
A total change of habits.
She was devastated, but I helped her to see that there was a good possibility that he was trying too hard to convince everyone – and himself – that this rebound relationship was really working.
And I also reminded her that the honeymoon period is just that – one stage in their relationship which is 100% going to wear off. (It did. She got him back.)
Also, please note that pictures of the Other Woman or Other Man are not to be used to beat yourself up. Work on your Trinity (more on that in the EBR Pro resources) and your own inner and outer beauty, and outshine the Other by being the Ungettable Girl.
Remember that social media shows the best of everything and rarely are people brave enough to really dive into the grittier side of life.
With that introduction over, for the rest of this article I’m going to be talking about four potential outcomes, four thoughts that could be running through your ex’s mind to help explain his behavior.
Behavior #1: They Feel Empty, And This Is Their Way Of Acting Out
As many of you know I have a YouTube channel. A few videos ago I talked about my concept of how I like to view the five stages of grief when it comes to breakups. If you don’t have time to watch the video, here’s a quick summary.
Research has shown that grief often presents itself in different stages.
The stages are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
These stages are not intended to be prescriptive, or to make the difficult process of grieving tidy or neatly packed away, but they can help you understand your reactions and feelings.
I believe that the five stages of grief are an excellent way of describing some people’s behaviors after a breakup.
What I don’t believe in is the order that they’re often presented in.
Grief over a loss does not follow a linear timeline – you may experience some or all of the elements, and in any order, over different amounts of time.
Everyone’s personal story and situation is different.
When it comes to breakups you can experience all different kinds of emotions – sometimes anger, sometimes denial – and not necessarily in that order.
We often jump around the five stages depending on the day, or we might be stuck in one for days.
Your ex is also feeling these stages of grief: even if they don’t seem to be, even if they are the one who ended things, and even if they say they have no feelings for you anymore.
It stands to reason that an ex going through all of these emotional pendulum swings would want to act out.
Sometimes social media can be the perfect way to do this – an easy and seemingly safe outlet for their feelings.
Behavior #2: Your Ex Is Trying To Get Your Attention
Why would they want your attention specifically?
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizThink about it from their perspective for a moment. The two of you were together for a long time (usually the longer, the better to explain this point I’m trying to make).
Let’s say you were together for two years.
That means that for two years he was your number one priority (or number two, at least).
But all of a sudden, when you go through a breakup, he’s not getting the attention he used to receive.
There’s no-one asking him how his day went, if he wants anything picking up from the shops, if he fancies going out somewhere fun. And there’s certainly no intimate conversation or sex – even if he suddenly has another woman, the level of intimacy and connection he had with you, won’t be there.
That attention from you is a kind of validation.
It boosts his ego. It boosts his self-esteem – which we’ll talk more about in a minute.
That self-esteem boost that he was getting every day from talking to you, you calling him pet names like babe or honey – it’s gone. He’s trying to find a way to get some of that back.
Why would posting on social media do that? It’s not like you’re going to sit there and say “Hey, let’s get back together” or “Hey, you look really really sexy,” based on one post. You’re just not going to say that stuff (and it’s a good idea not to)!
But what you might do is maybe comment on a photo, or like a photo, or at the very least, watch his stories.
And if you do, it serves as a form of validation for him, a bit of attention from you that is going to give a little boost to his self-esteem.
Of course, you don’t have to give him that. If you use a No Contact rule to encourage him to miss you and regret not being with you, you won’t respond to anything, including social media content.
(What’s No Contact Rule? Check out more here in the No Contact Rulebook.)
Behavior #3: They Feel That Posting On Social Media Will Boost Their Self-Esteem
So Behavior 2 seamlessly blends into Behavior 3.
Here’s the thing that most people know perfectly well, but never talk about when it comes to social media and posting on it.
We only present our best selves.
You rarely go onto someone’s Facebook profile and see exactly what they look like when they wake up in the morning.
You often see them at their most exciting moments, and sometimes people try to manufacture these moments as they go throughout the day.
They crop out the ugly building in the corner of the photo, they add filters or use software to brighten the photo, they add hashtags to make you think they’re having an amazing time. They take 20 different shots to get one good one. They think, hey, I look pretty cool right now, I’m going to take a selfie.
They will never do that when they’re doing something embarrassing or uncool – when they’ve just woken up, or they’re hungover or sick.
Kudos to those people who do – but it’s not most of us.
That’s because we always want people to look at us in a certain way.
What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Take the quizSocial media is a showcase for our lives, not a true mirror.
The thinking here is that by presenting our best self to the world, it’s going to boost our self-esteem. Likes, comments and shares will do this.
But perhaps the biggest paradox is yes, it can actually boost our self-esteem but in turn it lowers our self-worth.
Have you ever looked at a cute guy or a cute girl on a social media profile or a dating app and thought to yourself, man, I would really like to date that person.
You set up a date and then you see them in person and they look nothing like they looked on their profile.
This is because that person has only presented their best self to you.
They don’t show you the real them. You’re making a date with someone based on how you perceive them to be.
They understand that and they like it, because yes, maybe they have a pretty face, but they consider themselves to be overweight, so they hide that fact.
They still get the self-esteem boost because they feel desirable.
But they also lower their self-worth because deep down they know they are hiding part of themselves away.
Now what’s interesting is when you take a guy that’s going through a breakup, it’s not really a stretch to say that one of the biggest common sides of a breakup is sadness and negative thoughts – they feel extremely bad about themselves.
One of the stages of grief is depression – feeling empty and sad. It’s natural when you’ve lost someone.
So they’re going to find ways to post really awesome pictures of themselves to boost their self-esteem. But this in turn lowers their self-worth, which they will sometimes blame you for.
Behavior #4- They Seek Validation From Others
Social media is all about seeking validation from others. That’s why people post on it.
They want to show their friends and family what they’re up to, sure, but the true reason, as deep down we all know, is that we really like it when people like or comment on our photos, or they say something nice to us.
We especially like it when people idolize us.
So it’s not a far stretch from your ex who’s going through this breakup, who is feeling less loved and valued, to post things to seek validation not from you, but from everyone else.
We especially see this with men who are trying to go on the rebound. They are trying to get validation from other women so that they feel better about themselves and their situation.
It’s the “I’ve still got it,” feeling that they want.
And all it takes is one positive validation from the opposite sex to get addicted to that feeling.
They maybe get one nice comment from that pretty girl they’ve always had a crush on, and you knew they had a crush on when you two were dating, and the next thing you know, they’re posting constantly trying to get not only more validation from a girl like her, but from any girl.
They’re addicted to that little boost of self-esteem.
Perhaps the most interesting part of this concept is that most of the time, they’re not even aware that they’re doing it. They’re a slave to their emotions. They get that little boost and that’s all they want from that point on.
But the feeling wears off, so they have to go through it all again.
So it’s important for you to read between the lines and understand what’s really going on most of the time.
There is one big thing that I want you to take away from this video: when your ex is posting constantly on social media, especially if they didn’t post so much before, it is a result of the breakup: the cause and effect is there.
It’s not always that they want you back, but they are in extreme pain from the breakup and oftentimes the best way to deal with that pain seems to be to hop into the world of fast-track validation on social media, even if it’s not actually the best route to actually feeling better.
So don’t be upset about all that social media activity, and don’t obsess over What It Means. Just know that if you follow the Ex Boyfriend Recovery programme, you are doing the best you can to get him back – if you want to.
Ashley
June 20, 2024 at 4:54 pm
Hey! My ex and I were together for 2 years. We broke up do to family differences but there was still a lot of love btwn us. We went NC to help move forward and 2 weeks after the breakup I noticed that he posted a selfie on his VSCO from a year ago. Then he posted again after a week or so. When we were together he barely posted on social media (maybe one post per year). How am I supposed to not let this put me down. I feel like he doesn’t care about my feelings and it’s really hurtful to see him try and move on. Idk how to get over this feeling.
Grams
June 11, 2023 at 10:03 am
What does nc really mean?…. We can go months without talking right?. How about if the ex is seeing my post on ig?. Is that also part of no contact?.
Coach Shaunna
November 12, 2023 at 7:08 am
HI Grams, take read of this article to help you understand the No Contact Rule correctly, your posts online are fine as long as they are not emotionally directed at your ex at any point, or attention seeking posts. I would suggest that you reflect on your social media activity – does it appear attention seeking/ desperate for someone to check in on you. Be sure that you read articles to help you understand the program, there are many free support materials here to help you going forward.
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-no-contact-rule/
Liz
July 9, 2022 at 4:14 am
Hi, so me and my ex were together almost 2 yrs & we first went on a “break” for a few weeks 3 months ago, but he is not a communicator even physically never wanted sex after the first few months together, which were our biggest problems and he definitely did not go on social media, he didn’t like it. I would text him once a week during this “break” to see how he felt and I’d tell him my feelings, he never said much but “I just need time to think and figure things out” but he would never tell me how he felt or I love you or he missed me. Like I said he wasn’t a communicator anyway but if you love each other this is a vital time to say it! We ended up breaking up bc we were both on match bc he left me in the dark & I felt I had no idea what was going on and if we were even together anymore since he wouldn’t respond to that. He said he went on match bc of a hunch I was…to get to the point I now see(about 2-3mths after breakup) that he’s been on social media this whole time& his IG account was private for awhile but now I can see it, months later, and see his posts started during our “break” and one was him half nude…showing off his chest saying “work in progress” so he was doing this while we were on a break & he wasn’t giving me an answer. Now he had shut out his family & doesn’t have friends so I thought this whole time he was depressed but after seeing this I’m pissed and so hurt!!! I do not want him back but curious on why you think he did this and changed all of a sudden? He is def an introvert and some of his posts are showing things he’s “working on” when he wanted to do nothing at all when he was with me. I’m frustrated and confused and need help on what to do!
Daina
September 7, 2021 at 7:04 am
Hi,am diana.we HV been dating with my ex for 5yrs,I loved him n I had no otha gai,he I always noticed several things Abt him but I kept quite he asked me to trust him,this yr on my bd he didn’t say anything o even to wish me.i sent him a text asking him wat happened bt he didn’t reply,I got time alone n send him an audio of all ihv gone thru with him and the kind of patience n silence I hv tolerated with his behaviour,n told him am not complaining but am jst greatful.he never responded afta one week,wenever I Cld post smthing he Cld comment coz I never posted anything dat related to our situation,after 2wks he blocked me en posted a pic of a Beb with him in bed something he never did wn I was with him,so d frnd sent me d pic it’s wn I realised I was blocked n cldnt view his status.i called him n asked him wat was dat he told me dat was his galfrnd I asked him I thought I n him wea ok,he told me dat he thought I had chucked him,I told him if I had chucked him I wld hv told him.it replied n said it’s ok bt u didn’t have to block me to post anything u want.i went silent for 3months.
Wn I got back online I found his using apic of a Beb as his profile I played it cool n kept quite..
It’s now 3wks he can been texting n video calling me that his checking on me,asking me how am doing en how my parents are,telling me of hw his work is and asking me to take him some thing to eat,I do respond in a cool way.
During d weekend he posts d Beb again bt texts mi asking how I am,etc.
So dis wkend I decide to hung out with my frnds n I posted.he posted d same gal .but in his posts it’s always d gal playing d role of video taking n taking d pics
I don’t know what is happening
Cathlin
May 14, 2021 at 3:15 pm
We broke up three months ago. He broke up with me and in the first few weeks checked up on me a bit, I did the same. Then I decided to give him real space in April. Three weeks in he messaged me and we converse a bit about our lives. He tells me he misses me and has his bad days. That maybe we can be together in the future but now he still has anxiety. We ended the convo by saying let’s chat once in a while and see how we feel. A week later, I was very upset and I asked him to collect his things from my house (some weeks before he said he wasn’t in a rush to get them and that he wanted me to keep his house keys just in case). I found this unfair and it made me hang on to hope. Then two days later I viewed an insta story and it triggered me. I decided to tell him now i feel, that I want to fix things as friends and see how we can develop our relationship. He then became very cold, told me he didn’t even see me as a friend, and he has plans to move countries soon. Another week after I messaged again apologizing, he was still really cold and he asked for space.
I didn’t reply at all and have decided to go NC. I see that his social media act has changed quite a bit. Now he is posting a story every week but before it wasn’t like this. I don’t know what he is posting though as I’m not viewing.
What is this behavior? I think he has severe anxiety due to covid or he just isn’t interested in me anymore.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 20, 2021 at 8:43 pm
Hi Cathlin, I think you need to complete your NC for 45 days because of the prolonged contact that you have had and then start reaching out with Chris text suggestions, make sure that you understand what it is you are looking to achieve in the first few messages. The change in social media activity could be for attention, but it could also be that he is just spending more time online with the restrictions and lockdowns.
Emily
February 25, 2021 at 4:47 pm
My ex has been posting basically every day or every other day of him either cooking or at the gym or mirror photos, even going out photos while Im basically right next to him! (we still hang out abit).When during the four years we were together barely touched the post button. Whats even more ridiculous is that we are roommates in a house and I see how he actually is. It just baffles me wondering who he’s putting a show on for. I know for a fact he’s confused and forlorn about the break up he decided to instigate, but he is so stubborn about this decision when while we were together he would break promises all the time. I’m just 2 months into the break up and honestly I’m near to just being about done with the whole situationship. I love him immensely but I can’t be with someone who so stubbornly tries to run away from their own thoughts and feelings.
Rose
January 10, 2021 at 3:58 pm
Hi! . I’m just going through a difficult time right now. I really liked this guy I was seeing for 5 months. He told me he didn’t want a relationship. I accepted it but conflict kept on happening because he would consistently throw it in my face. We would be intimate and then right after he would say he didn’t like me and then I would get pissed and he would say how much he liked getting me mad. Our intimate connection was crazy amazing though and even though he didn’t want a relationship and I tried to walk away numerous times I always went back. He never came to me even though when I would go back he would tell me things that showed he missed me like stalking my photos or texting me and obviously I didn’t answer. I was always stupid enough to go back though. Finally I think he realized by hanging out all the time and texting me all the time it got to be confusing for me so he pulled back on texting so much and seeing eachother so much. Then he told me he was chasing this married woman around cus she showed him attention. After that I was pissed so I started dating a guy and I rubbed it in this face. Once he found out I was dating someone he was the nicest guy in the world doing everything to get me to like him again. Obviously it worked and once he had me back again he didn’t want me. As time went on he finally got the attention of a new girl snd told me they made out. I couldn’t get mad as I told him when we were talking I slept with someone else. So whatever I let it go and then he said after we were intimate again that he didn’t like me (after I just had a conversation with him earlier through text that he needed to respect me and showed me he cared or I was really walking this time) he said he would. So whatever he says he didn’t like me again and that watch he ends up liking this girl snd she doesn’t like him back for karma for our situation. I kicked him out of my house at that point. We stopped contact for two months and now he is dating that girl. I made it two months without texting him but once I saw his Instagram post of her on my birthday mind you( where he posted her for the first time in two months after seeing how hot I was on my birthday) it said big date night…. I caved and I texted him and asked him to hang out and he said he couldn’t. I said I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were boyfriend and girlfriend and he said I am commited to her. When he literally would never commit to me. I’m just miserable. Of course to one of his friends was after me the past two months so once he said that I said oh well your friend wants to hang out so maybe I should give it a shut since you are commited to this girl…. I’m just miserable. I know he was a dick but there is a big part of me that felt like there was a strong connection there and I hate that he is gone for good this time.
Kemar
November 5, 2020 at 11:33 am
Dated my ex for 3 years (2017-2020). In that 3 years there has been 4 break up by my ex.
In the first year year she ended the relationship because I didn’t spend her birthday with her. It was a new job so I didn’t have any vacation days to take just yet. Anyways I saw her after work and we patch things up. Her birth month is September and mine is December. Save I notice each time any of our birthdays come around there is a problem. In 2019 after our anniversary I found out she was cheating through a mutual friend. From that the relationship was never the same. I eventually made peace and forgave her before confronting her. In December 2019 I attended her graduation and took her out to celebrate. She left me following day via text message. I asked her why she couldn’t answer me. Some time had pasted and we started speaking in late January and in February she confessed to cheating. I put in the past and after talking for a few weeks we got back together. A few days after our anniversary in 2020 the relationship was broken again. I was given the cold shoulder like I did her something. After placing for a month I decided leave her alone. The relationship ended in May and we patched things up at the end of August. Things were going fine ( or so I thought) until October 3rd where the relationship was stopped yet again. The excused given was that she was unhappy in the relationship. The last message sent to me the day she broke up with me was ” can’t you see that I have left you alone so you can continue being the best boyfriend to who ever you want and and stop blaming me for everything. I was confused because we never argued, muchless blame reach other for stuff. It took me a while to understand what she met. She was stating that her life was unhappy and she let me go to heal and fix her self. Through October she would beg me to leave her alone to the point where she cut off all forms of contact. Yes I was blocked and so I did some a cleansing (delete numbers ,media and so on). October 31st came and I realize what’s app messages coming in on my phone and the person was upset. Turns out it was my ex and I replied she said to leave her alone (which I did yet again). By November 1 st I notice she messaged me again and I replied which started a conversation. I also nice I could see her display picture and status updates. We conversed right through the day. Half way through day two she stopped messaging for awhile and her status update changed to “broken, time to heal”. When she started messaging me again her attitude was different and she was very agressive towards me and then she calmed down. On November 3rd I asked her about going to the drive theatre that just opened in my country and she said should go with friends and I asked her if she isn’t my friend to which she replied “no”. I asked her if it is a case where she is unconfirmed m uncomfortable with me and reply was that things were moving too fast which means it’s too soon for us to meet up. And she stopped talking to me from then. What ever her situation is, it took a toll on her and the relationship we had. I still love this girl wholeheartedly but I need help I’m walking around like a sad depressed sack.
Ps. From the break up last month she has been very angry towards me and it’s like she doesn’t know why.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 5, 2020 at 2:32 pm
Hi Kemar, it is not often I say this. But move on with your life! You deserve much better than this treatment!!
If you want to get back together, then the first thing you need to do is spend some time working on yourself esteem and confidence, realise that you have been treated poorly and no one deserves to be cheated on, multiple times I may add! Work on being happy without her in your life first, and then see how you feel about getting back together.
patch
October 28, 2020 at 4:00 am
So my short intro:
We met each other in the same uni where we are studying and we’ve been through ups and downs. We only got separated during Xmas or semester breaks. This is our first longest relationship since we’ve been together for two years and a half.
We started doing ldr since February because of this pandemic so I had to go back to my home country and him as well. So we do the ldr things we call chat and all that until August it’s been rocky but manageable. September was the month of heartache because he told me that he’s tired. I told him a lot of never give up quotes or the things I used to say whenever we fight but after two years I’m surprised it’s not working anymore. Ofc I was hurt and he told me I deserve better dun rely on false hopes and I told him to stop and let’s treat each other as friends like how besties do with updates. I’m surprised he agreed and also we agreed to lessen the calls from everyday to few times a day. It hurts but if it works then it’s fine and I told him i can only do it at the end of the month of September. To tell u the truth we worked really well he decided to call me everyday cuz he felt bad since he’s been busy a five minute call is ok and I didn’t even ask from that. We even played among us and tell Orr dirty inside jokes. He even called me obv weekend where he was cleaning his car and accidentally scratched it too. So I was glad about the progression even tho without pet names we still say gm or gn msgs or update stuff.
Then October came and I forgot to update how it was. So I asked him is it working or not and he told me that there is no answer for that. He told me tht we are done two months ago that’s why he agreed the friend thing but I told him I said there’s a limit until September I wanted to see this a Chance and I was really frustrated and so I begged n pleaded which was a bad move then he told me to understand his side and he’ll call me soon but after that. I decided to do no contact and he msg me after three days how I’ve been doing and still I ignored. Plus two days after he told me that I hope im doing fine and even replied to my ig story safe trip. I also noticed a week after he decided to unblock the girls I hated and followed them and is his like a hot n cold situation and again I am doing productively and I’m slowly restricting stalking or whatsoever but I just want him to regret what he did to me. Just because of pandemic and the distance he wanted to affect our relationship. It’s hurts to know like when this pandemic didn’t happen we are still together back in our uni. Also our uni doesn’t allow foreign students to come in yet and the country asked for quarantine charges x2 for foreigners. Ps our stuff are still left behind and thanks rock the government it’s so hard to get our stuff back plus the monthly dorm payments where we don’t even stay. After a month of no contact shall I contact him cuz I haven’t replied to his msgs and shall I initiate a friendly text?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 28, 2020 at 5:36 am
Hey Patch, when your No Contact is complete reach out with a text that Chris suggests in his articles, make sure that you use those ideas to get your ex interested in talking to you and keep the conversation short and leave him wanting to talk to you more than you have time for.
Aradhana
October 22, 2020 at 3:15 pm
Hello!
My ex bf has dumped me about a week ago because of the forced parents. He was a momma’s boy. After that I went on the NC. Today he has posted ” there is no one to take care of me even I havenot logged in to social media for days. So we can identify who really care about us” … I didn’t view his story. I read it offline. Btw What does it mean? What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 22, 2020 at 6:19 pm
Do not respond! How old is this guy 15?! He chose to end the relationship – let him feel the loss of not being with you! Follow a No Contact of 30 days and reach out if you still want him back by then. If he really needs people to take care of him, then he has a lot of growing up to do before he is going to be ready for an adult relationship!
Lor
September 21, 2020 at 10:29 am
Hello,
My ex started a weird and super extremely weird habit of changing his pictures EVERYDAY!! It’s not something he did before not even when we were friends! So he posts a picture then stops replying to me…. (im in the texting phase now after NC) what does this mean?! It’s driving me crazy!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 21, 2020 at 8:13 pm
Hi Lor, if he is going overboard with the social media activity, usually it means they are looking for some sort of attention
CBL
September 1, 2020 at 4:07 pm
Are these applicable for ex-girlfriend as well?
When I was with her, she said she doesnt want people to know about her life, but now she shows everything. (About herself, her son and her students)
My first relationship is with a single mom.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 2, 2020 at 4:50 pm
Yes! But dont forget to check out http://www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com too!
Darian j
July 31, 2020 at 8:17 pm
Hey team,
My ex blindsided me n said hed lost the spark but said he loved me cared about me alot n I make him happy but said hes been trying to fight it doesnt want to feel this way and it’s a block that hes been trying to fight. He said he thinks it’s the right decision but isnt sure then a couple days later changed his fb status. I did the no contact for 21 days n then initiated contact he responded right away an we had a fluid conversation n he was asking me things n telling me stuff bout his life. Hes been posting a lot more pictures of himself on fab of him looking good n more memes. When he only post here n there before n it would be mostly memes and the odd picture of himself making a goofy face which would be his display or a pic of us. Now he posts everytoher day. Am I reading into this being crazy or should I read between the lines?? plz help
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 1, 2020 at 10:41 pm
Hey Darian, I would think you’re possibly looking for more. You need to spend less time watching his social media activity, read the Ungettable articles and follow the advice using social media to show your changes
Alexa
July 23, 2020 at 12:51 am
Hey Shauna
So my ex has definitely been posting more frequently, but they aren’t the “BEST” photos or videos or even showing off the coolest things or activities. A good amount of them are instagram stories also posted to his friends only list as opposed to a regular instagram story posted for all followers. I don’t doubt he is seeking validation in general and attention, however given this information could we say that he is wanting the validation from me too? Granted posting to his friends only list eliminates a great pool of people that are not on the list. I believe he may also be mirroring me a bit with posting.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 24, 2020 at 11:31 pm
Hey Alexa, if he is only sharing to a certain number of people and you are in that list then yes it could mean that he is allowing you to view what he is sharing. I suggest that you would work on the Ungettable information and make sure that your posts are top quality not just sharing basic things like he is so that he can take note of how well you are doing
Anonymous
July 14, 2020 at 2:32 pm
Hey, not sure if you read or reply to these. My boyfriend and split 1 month ago. I immediately went into no contact, recently he reached out to return some stuff and we chatted a little over text (still haven’t got my stuff back yet) I told him I forgave him for hurting me (ended things badly by going on a bit of a bender and ignoring me) and I accept who he is as we’re all human and make mistakes. He said he doesn’t not want me in his life he is just scared of hurting me again. I’m not sure to take that as face value or read between the lines. We are slowly chatting again and I’m willing to fight for him (not chase or be needy) as I truly feel he’s scared and being respectful to not chase me after his actions and Behavior. Any advise is helpful. Thank you
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
August 4, 2020 at 11:02 pm
Hey there I think you need to show your ex that you are planning on moving on with your life to make him take action to get you back or lose you
Jay
July 1, 2020 at 4:49 pm
Hey coach my ex is posting some random dude from YouTube and saying “have a crush on him”
Because during the realtionship she doesn’t post this stuff
Is she tryna make me jealous ?
And what should I do about it
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 1, 2020 at 9:27 pm
Hi Jay, I dont think that she is trying to make you jealous maybe more about how she can get a reaction from you. When it is a YouTuber you know she is not going to be meeting him, if it was a local guy then this would be more of a jealousy tactic. Rise above these posts.
Gurpreet Kaur
June 15, 2020 at 6:37 am
Hey. I needed to ask that.. I dont want my ex back coz he was toxic but he has blamed everything on me and left me. He is into writing and i just checked he had written a poetry full of hatred for someone, i know is for me and has also blamed me for things in it. Why is he doing so?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 15, 2020 at 7:38 pm
Hey Gurpreet, no matter who it is,they do not want to be the bad guy in their story. So they blame you to make people feel sorry for them. Rise above it true colours always show
Roland Even
May 25, 2020 at 1:40 pm
Dear all,
my girlfriend and I split up roughly 6 weeks ago. We had a beautiful relationship but we never found the right balance in our fights. But we both agreed we had the most beautiful 3 years of our life. I was thinking about breaking up but she was the girl ultimately dumping me. I still wanted to give us a last change as I thought we needed such a crisis and grow together. The last time we saw each other was on that day. A lot of crying on both sides and I off course tried to convince to give us a last chance. She even said, while crying she is so worried that this is her biggest mistake in her life…
Anyhow, I went into no contact for 3 weeks, then sent her a letter thanking for the beautiful time she returned with a letter but she was also mentioning that she doesnt see any hope in us resolving our issues. The last 3 to 4 weeks again no contact but my brother has been posting (2 times) a status update on whatsapp. He had 3 to 5 pictures of me in these and when we were all having fun and good times. Only family pictures, us fishing, sport, etc…
And what happens today??
She blocks my brother on whatsapp….I am not unblocked…
what does this behavior mean? This women has gotten more and more misterious to me…
thanks for any advice
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 7, 2020 at 4:19 pm
Hi Roland, she has blocked your brother because she is bothered on some level about you enjoying your time. I suggest that you work on yourself for some time and just let her have that time apart, make sure that you work on your Holy Trinity and you prepare a first reach out text after 45 days of No Contact
Karen
May 12, 2020 at 1:07 pm
Hey again. Since i last posted my ex has been posting now and then, but not as often as he used to after our breakup. I do not watch his posts, but it pops up that he posted something on story. Like i wrote last time, he never used to post when we were together, this is something he picked up after the breakup. Now that he barely posts anymore I am scared it means that he has forgotten about me. Apparently he doesnt need the attention and to show everyone he is doing great anymore. What does this mean? I am thinking he is over me now and he has lost all feelings he ever had and is fine without me in his life. But then why does he not want to reconcile with me in any way and why is he still walling me out? Is it because he actually isnt over me? I dont understand. I have tried NC but when i reached out he was still as passive and cold. Im doing another NC and still working on myself, but dont know how to show him because he wants no contact. Can it be that he just hates me and will never change his mind?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 20, 2020 at 9:59 am
Hey Karen, sometimes it takes exes longer to feel better, the fact hes gone back into his old social media habits may show that he is starting to feel himself again so be sure that you spend the rest of your NC becoming Ungettable and then when you reach out it should be possible for you and he to have a short but polite conversation. Understand though, it is more about him being ready than it is about you personally.
Kevin Daly
May 11, 2020 at 4:35 pm
hey! I have a question me and my ex where togther for about a year and a half! We truly love each other. We broke up and I’ve been doing the no contact rule. It’s only been 3 days and it’s very hard. But today she posted around 6 kinda sexual photos on tiktok. She had like a crop top on and short shorts. One even had her butt sticking out or her looking like she wants some action. Should I be concerned I was gonna come back in a month and talk things out but my minds spinning on maybe she is doing it for attention for other guys! Please help
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 19, 2020 at 2:05 pm
Hi Kevin, as horrible as it is to see your ex behaving in such a way you need to remind yourself she is doing this for attention. Meaning she is feeling low nad maybe even lonely. I also see it as almost childish act to cause an issue. You need to avoid watching any of her social media during your NC as advised. Work on yourself and make sure that your social media, shows that you are doing pretty well without her in your life at this time too