Why Your Ex Boyfriend Acts Like A Jerk

346 thoughts on “Why Your Ex Boyfriend Acts Like A Jerk”

anonymous

February 10, 2014 at 7:42 am

If my exboyfriend has the fourth jerk behaivour, of not replying my msgs and calls, how can i hook him in a proper conversation? Its hard being patient and waiting hours for a reply from him at times 🙁 even if i try asking him qns he’d give neutral replies. (which is hard cause its not like its even considered as a “resistance”) one of the resistance is no reply after nc or negative reply. But what abt neutral replies? Its not easy talking to someone who gives neutral replies. Going into nc back and forth. Its emotionally draining.

admin

February 10, 2014 at 6:54 pm

Have a conversation with him about something that he can’t not respond to.
anonymous

February 11, 2014 at 1:56 pm

I get so stressed thinking of topics to talk to him abt! It just feels as though the chemistry is not as much as before. Or maybe he’s just plain not interested. But the thing is, he does reply most of my msgs. Just very neutral replies. And he doesn ask me qns back. So its kind of a one sided convo? Im asking him qns. And he replies. He doesn really reply to “normal sentences” which depends on his mood i guess. I feel awkward now talking to him. It really makes me sad.

One min he seems to open up to me. Telling me abt what he’s up to. Or hw his day went. And the next min. He shuts me out. Simply by not responding to my msgs.

This is a lot a lot harder than i thought 🙁 i dont want to give up and go into nc again; since he’s a bit more responsive than before which i feel its only cause i dont push for a reply (text gnat) or push him for a meetup. If he doesn reply my msg, either i open a new topic or wait till the next day before i start a new topic. Which most of the time he will response when i change the topic.

What is going through his mind really? Im wondering if you ever behave this way towards your ex gf. And why did you behave in such? Could it be cause he no longer cares about me and there’s really no hope 🙁 or do i just have to work extra hard to hook him in.

Anne

January 31, 2014 at 3:47 am

Hello Chris!

So here ‘s my story. I’m 18, and my boyfriend dumped me 1 month ago, by text after nearly one year together. We had a passionate relationship, we thought we were meant together, he always telling my i was the One and only, that he ‘ll spend the rest of his life with me, blabla… But, the last months were chaotic we couldn’t stop arguing, he said that i kept iniating the fights, and i recognise i was overly emotional and dependent to him, so i apologized, promised that i would stop creating those fights that ruined our relationship (only fighting by text). But actually the arguments just carried on, after a few days of “peace”. So, we decided to have a one week break because with all the fighting he wasn’t sure about his feelings anymore, well, he couldn’t trust me anylonger and if i didn’t happen to miss him during that meant we should break up. He spent this week skiing, and i stayed in Paris (btw sorry for my english, i don’t speak english very well), after this week he texted me saying: ” I’m sorry, but i can’t bear this situation anymore” and i said “‘me too” and began to beg him for another chance (which im kinda ashamed of), the begging lasted only two days, i was very emotional and he began to tell rude things such as
” i want to forget this year or my life”, ” my love for you made me turn a blind eye to the real me and i had so much fun without you”, when i asked why he didn’t love anymore he responded ” because i gave u a million chances, but obviously you will never change, i hate your personality”. I was chocked because it seemed like i was talking to another person, he appeared like he didn’t have a shadow of compassion, hid speech was totally the opposite of what he used to tell me.
I wanted to meet him up in order to officialize the break up, at first he agreed and then when i told him to come to my house he refused, and told me ” why are we even talking? It’s OVER” , ” you want to meet me in order to keep contact with me”, ” even if we meet eachother there is no hope we’ll get back together.”, ” it pisses me off to talk to you!!” In a nutshell he was acting like i didn’t mean and had NEVER meant anything to him… So i stopped the conversation and began a no contact period of time, but 5 days after i texted him and called him (30 times i know it s ridiculous) not begging but asking to meet up to end things in a more decent way and because he owed me money. He completly IGNORED me. So i gave up, it was enough for me .A few days later, he unfriended me on facebook.
A friend of mine texted him, to know what happened, and why he doesn’t want to talk to me and he replied: “because it is clearly not possible to begin a conversation her. I broke up because she made me suffer and because of her personality, she promised she would never create fights again but she carried on. But of course, if she had always been like during our best moments i would never have done that! But it wasn’t the case and it will never be” ” i want nothing to do with her”
I would like to mention that we only fought by text, and when we are together we were like the perfect couple, our “best moments” were simply all the moments we spent together. Texting ruined the realtionship, i know it, and told him about it and we could fix things but it was too late…
I saw on fb he was going to clubs, and going out a lot, getting drunk, which is really NOT HIM.
He’s trying to forget me, to take benefit of his life as a single young man…
He really was crazy about me, excessively i guess, he chased me for 3 months and it was the first time he fell in love, he was cutting himself from his friends because he said all he needed was his “wife”, me, and he didn’t care of the rest . He was extremely jealous, as well, like he couldn’t stand thar i could chat with boys from my school. And during the break up he said that he couldn’t care less if i was dating guys and all. Thfe fact that a week before he told me i should’t even imagine mysellf dating an other guy, or looking at boys during the break is hilarious.

All that i’m doing now is improving myself, and how proud i am to stay strong during this tough time. I ‘m moving on but im still in love with him, still writing tons of poems about him beause he inspires me even after the break-up.
I know that the NCR is the right thing to do. But will i ever get a chance to get back to him? How long should wait ? Can he forget me in a month time when i meant the world to him? I am confused.

Thanks for helping me and sorry for my grammar mistakes..

admin

January 31, 2014 at 6:45 pm

30 days… do NC for 30 days and work on yourself in the process.
Anne

January 31, 2014 at 8:52 pm

Seriously, i dont think 30 days of NC will be enough.
Do you think there’s a chance we get back together? Because he seems to be moving on completely and he even told my friend that i should carry on with my life, but he won’t be part of it anymore…
Anne

February 3, 2014 at 4:45 pm

Hi Chris, I really need to be enlighten ^^ i mean can i do 90 days of Nc or he will forget me? And actually does this nc means something as he said i wasn’t the one for him and wanted to forget me and also he didn’t want to talk at all and cut all contact?
Anne

January 31, 2014 at 4:23 am

* ” i want to forget this year oF my life” he wrote to me.
I forgot to tell that he is a very stubborn guy, and i ‘m scared he wil never talk to me again.
I’m very confused , i really need your help, to make my mind clearer.

Thank you.

anonymous

January 24, 2014 at 12:07 pm

When i ask my exboyfriend out for lunch or for a drink; usually the day before. He will always say, “i confirm with u later okay” and when the day comes, i’d text him “so how? R we meeting?” He wont reply. For example, i’ll ask him out at 5pm on friday. I’d text him in the morning to confirm. He’d either not reply, or say i confirm with u later. 5pm plus comes n then he’d text me saying “oh i’m alrdy home, tired” or some other lame excuse like that.

Its like he kept me waiting for a definite ans, and then cancels on me. This has happened a few times. Once, he made me wait for 2hrs when he said he was on the way to meet me, he told me he maybe late. In the end, he didn show up. To make up for it, he asked me out and he shows up on that one date.

If i’m making any sense to u. Its like he cancels at least 3 or 4times on me. To make up for it, he’d turn up for one date. And the cycle repeats. Its really taxing on me. Any idea why is he doing this? He could hv just said no, i dont want to meet u. Instead of making me wait for a reply. And expect me to assume that him, not replying me, means its a “no” even so, why bother saying “i’ll confirm again with u later”?

I’ve been very patient in waiting for his reply. I dont bombard him with texts. And at most, i’d call him once, and he never answers.

i still want to try to make things work. But i’ve seriously no idea how. Chris, would appreciate if u have any suggestions on what i can do to make it work? Is there really no more hope? 🙁

anonymous

January 24, 2014 at 12:26 pm

He will explain why he doesn ans my call. Saying his phone was on silent, or not vibrating or he fell asleep etc. All of these are through texts. He doesn return my call. i usually only call him once or twice.

If i see him in person at work, i’d get a bit of reaction from him (pls refer to my comment on the other page, on your article understanding why ur ex is ignoring u)

Grrrrr. Its so frustrating! Any idea why is he behaving as such?

LioLynch

January 23, 2014 at 5:42 am

I commented back at the beginning of December wanting my ex back, but now I’m sure I don’t. I am confused though. I did some stupid stuff in retrospect at the end, but immediately went into no contact, removed him from Facebook and stayed quiet. I finally sent him a txt on New Years Day apologizing for my behavior and wishing him a good year and Christmas. Never replied. He hasn’t contacted me at all. Last week I went ahead and deleted his number after a really bad night, and wrote a letter of my frustrations that I ripped up and burned later. I guess it really just shows that maybe he never did care, and I think that hurts more. I’m not contacting him, and I do not want him back. I just want to move on.
Opinion Please

January 23, 2014 at 4:15 am

If a guy acts like he doesn’t give a crap after he broke up with you and seems completely fine with his decision is that an act or what he is really feeling?

admin

January 24, 2014 at 4:54 am

Depends.. he could be being real but if I was a betting man my money would be on he is torn up inside.

How long did you two date?
Opinion Please

January 27, 2014 at 1:56 am

Thanks so much for the reply!

2 years- all of which he was really into it (probably more so than me to be honest). He has this arrogance about him recently where he treats me like someone he never even really cared about. I’m pretty sure he would be nicer to a stranger. we have been broken up for 9 months at this point,I thought this “act” (if it was even an act) would have ended by now.
LioLynch

January 26, 2014 at 4:19 am

4 months, and I never felt the attraction waver. Even the week before it fell apart, he did a lot with me. He spent the day with me even though it snowed and the roads were dangerous. He came and helped me move despite working the night before, earlier that day, and having to go back that evening. I guess that’s why it hurt me so much when he broke it off. By a text message, while I was at work.

Karlie

January 22, 2014 at 10:55 pm

My ex-boyfriend and I are both 18, and we dated for a year. Exactly a year because he dumped me on the night of our one year anniversary. I had had the entire day planned out and the events were going to be a surprise for him, but he knew to have the whole day off. He works at home taking care of his disabled sister, but almost the whole week he had been at his Uncle’s instead of doing his job. He ended up having to work the day of our anniversary. I was pissed, but said we could just hang out at his place for the few hours he said we would have. Well, when I got to his place the next morning, he was asleep. I was cold to him at first since I thought we would have four hours, but we ended up having only 20 minutes. He didn’t kiss me before I had to leave. When I got home I was upset and cried a bit, but played Assassins Creed and then just felt tired. Anyway, later that night around dinner, I texted him, planning on asking him to spend the night so we could make up the day, but he was leaving for a fire since he’s on our town’s volunteer fire department. After an hour, I figured he should be back so I called him, after two hours I couldn’t get a hold of him and was worried. I called his mother and asked her to have him call me when he got back. An hour later, still nothing, so I called him again and he finally answered. I asked him if he wanted to and he told me no. He said he was watching movies with his family, which wouldn’t have been an issue, except he typically does anything to get away from his family. I hung up on him and vented to my family. After a bit I texted him and told him he was a jerk and that I’d be crying myself to sleep that night. I quickly sent him a follow up text saying that he didn’t have to disrupt his family time by responding since I “knew” he didn’t really care anyway. He texted back and dumped me. I called and he said that he just didn’t feel it anymore and that his feeling for me had been fading for the past two months. Well, two months before was when he had told me he loved me, and he was the first of us to say it even though I had been feeling it for a long time.

We had a week left of break and I didn’t contact him at all. Then when I saw him at school it hurt so bad I felt I was going to puke. I tried acting civil to him since he had said we could still be friends. Then on Wednesday I asked him if we could talk, after a bit of confusion we met at his house. As soon as he saw me he asked me angrily what I wanted. We broke our friendship, only to renew it that Friday. Since his younger brother and I are still friends, I was asking their mother if it would be okay if he (younger brother) could attend a study group with me and some other friends. We talked and I told her that I thought my ex hated me, some rumors were spreading around school that only he had known about. She yelled at him (which I didn’t know or plan for) and he called me. We talked things through. He said that he hadn’t been watching movies with his family, but instead was having a serious talk with his dad. He said he was crushed by my not caring text. He still wouldn’t clear up whether or not he had lied about loving me or his lack of love for me. He said he’s been depressed lately, and there is a lot in his family that has been causing it.

He’s now dating a girl who I feel he may have cheated on me with.. He had asked me if it was okay if he could hang out with her by himself and I trusted him so I said they could. He then became protective of his phone when before, he didn’t care if I wanted to go through it (even though I trust him and don’t care to go through his phone). Now he’s dating her and lying to his family about having her over and hanging out with her.

I became a bit of a texting gnat since I was trying to still be friends with him but each time I tried talking to him he was busy. All I wanted to talk to him about was just recent stuff, not about us, but apparently he was too busy with his knew girl to want to talk to me. I have been doing No Contact for five days now since I realized what I was doing and also since I found this website. I haven’t felt the urge to text him since I’ve been reading your posts.

I need your love guru advice on this, cause even though I love him dearly and that we only had three arguments throughout the year (and all of them were misunderstandings) and that there was hardly a time when we weren’t happy together, part of me feels that he’s become such a jerk that I don’t know if I should want him back. What is your opinion?

admin

January 24, 2014 at 4:45 am

Obviously stop the gnatting haha.

I don’t know, I have the feeling right now you are too involved with him. In other words, you are too available to him.

Help!??

January 22, 2014 at 2:03 pm

Ok here it goes,
We dated for three years and he broke it off three months ago. We do not talk anymore but share awkward looks at each other and other times I catch him looking at me. I’m afraid to contact him I don’t wanna be ignored again. So as of now I was just kind of waiting it out but clearly that’s not working. Please help idk what to do.
Rose

January 18, 2014 at 9:54 am

What if I finally decided to apologize for everything I’ve done wrong to him, and he only responded with good? It was over a text, so i can’t tell exactly what his reaction was.Then, a few weeks after, i ran into him while walking with someone, and he looke at only me while smiling an greeted us as we pasted. However, since then, I think he has been avoiding where we passed, because he had been walking down that path for several days. I’m soooo confused….

admin

January 20, 2014 at 12:29 am

Thats a pretty lame response from him.
Rose

January 20, 2014 at 8:48 pm

yeah. i don’t understand him. honestly, part of me is tired of dealing with this, but i don’t know how to make myself not love him anymore. :/ how do you let go?

Patricia

January 16, 2014 at 5:54 pm

Hi Chris 🙂

So I’m really confused, becouse there are many advices about NC, but just a little how to act after.
My and my bf had long-distance relationship for w while, he broke up with me becouse “he wasn’t ready” etc. So I went to NC, tried to have fun, didn’t go through his FB page and so on. After 3 weeks he started to text me, first just few words, now he text me almost every day (not very long messages but still) even during the night. There was “I miss you” about a week ago, but he didn’t suggest anything more. So one day I said that we can talk on skype someday, and he was very enthusiastic about it. But whenever we plan to talk, and both agree about the date, same day he makes some excuse no to do this. So how should I act? I’m always very cool but polite, very optimistic, never mentioned relationship, he sees that I go to parties a lot lately and not ‘sit and wait’ for him. So is he just jealous or does he want me back?

admin

January 19, 2014 at 11:06 pm

Before anything have you seen my LDR guide?
Patricia

January 20, 2014 at 11:45 am

Of course, that was first thing I did. But we are not the exact type of relation you are describing – we already start to be LDR as we met on holidays, and after that he asked me to come to his place for few days.
But anyway, I did all the things you are advising in this section. Like I said, it was him who initiaded contact during my NC, he liked also all my posts and pictures on FB, checked on me on whatsapp and so on. He also said that he want to visit my country in spring (!) and if I would meet him.
And I was always nice to him, all fun and smiling, brought up good memories, ‘pimped’ my FB profile (but not too much), I wasn’t always avaliable for him. He texted me everyday just to say hi or ask how I am.
So I thought everything is going well to that point when we were supposed to first see each other on skype since break up. But he first said that he want to talk, and then he made an (silly) excuse not to. So I didn’t respond to that and I’m in NC again since 3 days, and he is not speaking to me as well. Don’t know what went wrong…?

Jane

January 13, 2014 at 1:26 pm

Hey Chris, you have TOTALLY described my jerk of an ex. I have been good to him after our breakup. Once in a while AL text him just to ay hi, and he wont bother to reply. One day my boss sent me to his place of work and his new girlfriend was there (I was kinda glad I got to meet her). Outside his shop he was kinda good with me cos he even said hi and smiled. He went back to the shop to get me something and I followed him inside to where she was, only for him to start being so rude and unkind to me. He started telling me that he now has a new one and that me and him would never get back, that I will never be his friend, that I should stop texting him and to never bother him. He said all these hurtful things in her presence. But what I don’t understand is what he was trying to prove or show to her? Why wait for us to get inside the shop and act all jerky???

Mind you he immediately gets in a new r/ship after our breakup. This is his 2nd girlfriend. The 1st one stayed for only four months then he came back asking for me. I was not ready, we broke up again and he “married” this current one in a week’s time… The other one was “married” for four months in 2weeks time. While I have still been single and slowly healing at my own pace. And for him to make me look like the jerk here. What a jerk

admin

January 13, 2014 at 6:28 pm

Hahaha what a jerk indeed…. just keep focusing on healing.

B

January 12, 2014 at 7:27 pm

Hi Chris, I messaged you back in November about my ex and how we broke up because he almost cheated and I took your advice. I did the no contact rule and automatically the “I miss you.” and the “Im sorry.” texts came rolling in. So I decided to try and work things out with him. We spent New Years together and things were like they used to be. He told me how sorry he was for everything and how he was still in love with me. Things were going good but then came our first fight since we tried to make things work. It wasnt that serious but he turned things around on me and said I complained and I still acted the way that made him not wanna talk to me. Eventually we got past that but then came another issue. Just last week we were talking and he joked around about how another girl was more important than me. It hurt my feelings and as soon as I said something about it he went on another rampage about how I complain and nag about everything and then he began ignoring me. The next day I overheard his friends trying to get him to talk to one of my best friends and he acted as if he was willing to do it! Now he is back to talking to the girl he dropped to go out with me. My question is why is it that after me and him have tried to work hard to fix things why does he keep blaming me, trying to make me jealous and acting as if he doesnt care when im hurt when he says he cares and loves me?

admin

January 13, 2014 at 6:13 pm

It may be a defense mechanisim that he slips into.

abby

January 11, 2014 at 3:16 pm

Hello, Chris,
it’s been a long time i don’t message you. I have a story. several days before, i texted him in facebook. and then out of the blue he ignored me and it seems like he’s trying to make me suffer because when i texted him, he suddenly commenting on my female friend’s status. before this, he never did that to me. is it because he is started to feel bored? or is it because to him im not worth to have? any clue? by the way, i texted him a wish of new year and i asked him about the present that i posted to him like i promised before we break up. thank you, Chris.

abby

January 15, 2014 at 6:37 am

never mind. by the way, i love your guides. 🙂 i always read it and i almost read the whole guides. keep it up, chris. and i hope one day you will be in a TV show. 😀 why don’t you start a youtube a channel?
admin

January 15, 2014 at 7:29 pm

I think I will in the future. Get the youtube channel and stuff. I am actually launching an author page on Facebook which I am excited about.
abby

January 16, 2014 at 5:31 pm

wow. good luck then! from the first time i read your guides, i had a feeling that you are gonna be huge. and from the first time i broke up with my ex boyfriend was the same year you’re struggling for women out there. hope i could see you on MTV something like that. like your own show. helping women and men about relationship and stuff. whoa that could be so huge. and it will be booming the whole world. haha! sorry. i’m not demanding you or something. i’m just imagining about what will you be in the future. and i could feel that your future is very near. oh yeah i forgot. is there any address that i could send my mail? (you deserve it) 😉 i’m kind of your fan. sorry if its sound cheesy.
admin

January 19, 2014 at 11:05 pm

Hi Abby,

I took Friday and Saturday off from answering people so sorry for the late response.

Thanks for your kind words. I hope thing trajectory keeps going upward! I am just going to keep on doing my best to provide value to everyone.
abby

January 16, 2014 at 5:32 pm

*sorry if it sounds cheesy.

Jane

January 10, 2014 at 5:04 am

Gosh….everyone of these matches up with my ex boyfriend what a shame haha. Except he did truly apologize for the hurtful things he said during the break up. After the break-up though I found out he cheated so he started trying to purposefully hurt me and make me jealous. I just had a recent fight with him and his what I think rebound gf over instagram, it was so childish, they bashed me!!! I tried to take the higher road but I did defend myself, it got ugly–this was a couple days ago and we broke up in August….it’s been rocky. I felt like I had regressed a little bit. Such a JERK!! why do I still love him? I don’t want him back though…just want to be a happier thought in his mind haha. His sister is 14 and she told me he must still have feelings for me if he cares so much to lash out like that….it just messes with my head though bc like you said you would think he would do the opposite. SIGH. this article is #therealest

admin

January 11, 2014 at 1:37 am

I get it…

Trust me I do. I have really fallen for women who weren’t nice at all. BUT you know what. You always learn from stuff like that.

Caroline

January 8, 2014 at 7:33 pm

Hi Chris, this post also rang a bell because the possibility that he lied about why we had to break up makes it difficult for me to decide whether i should let go of him or not. We’d been dating for over 2 years. The reason he gave was that he just didn’t have time for a relationship, that he was married to his work, that kind of thing. He’s 36 and had only dated one girl before and it’d not been serious so that excuse makes me think that he wanted to test his theory (not being the relationship type) properly. Granted, he is ferociously independent and i know he could be relatively happy by himself, just working 24/7. At the same time if that were true, would he have lasted over 2 years? a 2 year LDR of all things?

He said he’d been wanting to tell me that it wouldn’t work out 8 months ago but we spent 3 months together in between and it was great (We’ve seen each other for about a month and a half twice a year ever since we started dating and we always had a really great time). So i tested him on that – i asked him whether he’d pretended to be happy while we were together over the summer, and (this is also why i think he’s lying) he said: “but you were so much more relaxed then..” and then changed the subject.We talked about finding out more about these personal convictions that we have(e.g. him being unable to be in a relationship) and whether they are founded or just based on irrational fears. Right before leaving i got teary and we talked a little more and he promised me to do some soul searching and try to better understand his emotions. Doesn’t that also lead you to believe that he didn’t really know what he wanted, that he wanted to know?

My take is on the matter is that he knew it was a lot of pressure for me doing the LDR and my grad degree at the same time. I’m sure it was for him too. I think he lasted this long so that he could break up with me relatively close to the end and that we might still be able to try again when i’m done, and that in the meantime i wouldn’t have the pressure of the LDR while i focused on finishing my studies. There are other reasons too i’m sure: time, feelings fading when we’re apart, no physical contact, taken up with work, emotional overload, scared about expectations I might have had etc..but ultimately i think he wanted me to take that load off my shoulders and take a break to do some thinking. I could be wrong, but the fact is: he wouldn’t tell me if i was right, because he knows i’d probably keep thinking of him and would still be under pressure to finish my studies so i could go back and be with him. At the same time he is really independent and that he finds a lot of happiness in his work. That’s what’s difficult. If i knew the truth i would be able to let go or hang on to him (even in no contact), but the uncertainty makes it hard.

Tomorrow we will have been through a no contact period for 30 days, he started it by not responding to the message i’d sent a cpl of days after we last met (i got the feeling that he wanted NC and didn’t try messaging again since). It could be up to a year until I go back to the country he’s in – is the no contact rule supposed to be this long? I know he’ll be too proud to get back to me regardless of his feelings.

He’s a great guy, he inspires me and I know we really love(d) each other even in such difficult conditions, but I don’t know if i can handle the wait given the uncertainty. And what if i manage to, and go back only to find out that he really isn’t the relationship type? And what if i give up, find someone else and then find out in 10 years that he still loved me and that i’d been right? That would be so sad! Meh..

admin

January 10, 2014 at 1:04 am

Yes, the no contact rule should be that long. 30 days is what I recommended to everyone.

Rachel

January 7, 2014 at 11:16 am

Hey Chris I think som elf my posts aren’t posting 🙁

So anyway I did a few weeks of nc nearly a full 30 days and finally me and my ex went and had the chat. He basically said that the door wasn’t closed on the relationship and we needed to use this time to get ourselves sorted.

My problem is I don’t want to hold out in the hope that we will get bak together. But he keeps texting me etc. I would rather have a proper conversation on the phone or by email, now as they are quick messages. He keeps sending me pictures of letters I had sent him etc. I don’t know whethe to trust him or he actually doesn’t know what he wants.

By saying can we just email to have a proper convo and limited contact it gives me the space to get fully over him, and if he owes back into my life then great. How can I keep him interested with limited contact and what do you think it means when a guy says “the door is still open”
Audrey

January 6, 2014 at 4:13 pm

Hi. I met someone and we started dating, but then I had to travel to another country after 4 months of being together. We agreed on keep the relationship even though we knew it was going to be pretty hard, cause he could not travel to where I was, and I could not visit him for many reasons. At the beginning it was hard, we had too many fights, and we broke up a lot of times, but we found the way to make it work. Then, at our anniversary -1 year being together, he said he needed to think about our relation ship and that he needed time, that was hard to accept…but finally I gave him time, and we broke up for about a month, then he wrote me back, and he asked me to take him back and I did. I was and I am in love with him even though the distance is not helping. Two to three months after that, when I told him I was going to another country for the next two years, he said that he wanted to break up because he didn’t see any future for our relationship…and we did break up… But then I realize Ill do anything to make this work, he is the one I want, and I wanted to be happy, he makes me happy…so I wrote him after a month of silence between us. I told him that I wanted a future with him no matter what,.,he said he’d think about it… And then he said “no”. He acted like a jerk, and no meter what I’ve been saying he says that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore… I want to keep trying, I want to give my all to this, but I don’t want him to hate me for telling him over and over again my feelings. So, if anyone gives me some advice I’d really appreciate it.
Rachel

January 6, 2014 at 4:02 pm

He also said that he was not interested in any one else and that his feelings will probably not change. He has been sending me photos of letters we sent each other and positive memories.
anonymous

January 6, 2014 at 3:09 pm

Okay so my ex stood me up on our supposedly 4th date which was yesterday. I was considering going back into NC but today he texted me sending me photos of some of his sch work, and asked if i knew how to solve those problems. I replied yes, i do know. And he texted back saying “but how are u going to explain to me? Hmmm”

We don’t talk on the phone anymore. Our communication is only through text. So what is he trying to tell me here? That he’s considering a meetup with me just so i could teach him his sch work? Just merely using me for favours? And esp since he cancelled on our date yesterday. What exactly is he trying to do here. Should i help him out then?
Rosie

January 6, 2014 at 11:22 am

Hey Chris 🙂 Thanks so much into the insights of the male mind. I really enjoyed this post!

I wouldn’t say my ex is a jerk but he will sometimes blow hot & cold (much more hot than cold). I would love it if you could delve into the reasons why an ex will do this (hint, hint)

Also I posted here the other day, I’m not sure if I you had a chance to look at my post yet but I would be grateful if you could answer my question: I was mentioning how my ex wanted to see me the other day but I told him I wanted some space as I was upset that he was thinking of only coming home to see me & his lil girl every 3 months as opposed to every 3 weeks. Our convo was very positive & he was very interested in my life & for the first time since the break up, praised me on how much he appreciated me & what i do for our lil girl. I ended our call saying “I will leave it up to you yo contact me next.” I thought I was doing so well lol but you mentioned me saying that wouldnt put any pressure on him to contact me if I go NC. So what do I do here? Do I just go NC & follow your plan as normal?

Stuck :/
Alisha

January 6, 2014 at 9:55 am

Hey Chris! Love this one because it helps us to keep sane throughout this crazy ex boyfriend stuff.
A suggestion though you should include a guide about changing a male mind or something >…<
Like you know how men make up their mind and would push their feelings aside just to have things their way. Once they think it's the right thing then that's it you know? Oh the stubborn man =/

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