Why Your Ex Boyfriend Acts Like A Jerk

346 thoughts on “Why Your Ex Boyfriend Acts Like A Jerk”

Embarrassed

January 6, 2014 at 3:12 am

I kind of messed up big time… After starting to talk to my ex again, I followed all of your guidelines when it came to texting. Things were awkward at first- he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk, but would respond to be polite. a few weeks after first contact he texted me one day and asked what I was doing and stuff, then he asked if I wanted to hook up.. and we did. Texting was the same afterwards, I could never get more than 2 responses out of him when I tried having a conversation. Then a few weeks later we had a pretty long conversation just joking around about stuff, but then he started saying sexual things and one thing lead to another and I went to his place to hook up again. After that, texting between us seemed pretty good; he would respond to me right away, he would stay in the conversation and he even came over one night when I offered to put some movies on a usb for him, which was great because things felt the same like nothing ever changed between us then when he left he asked if i wanted to hangout sometime. He then came over a few days later to watch the walking dead (we fooled around a bit too), but then he went back into his limited contact mode.
We’ve hooked up a couple more times since, and texting him has been a roller coaster. Recently, he has started to ignore my texts again.
I know so far, you’re probably shaking your head and I’m right there with you haha, but I haven’t gotten to the worst part yet..
Soooo, a couple weeks ago he came over to hook up cause we had been texting back and fourth about certain things, which turned him on and myself so he came over. A couple days later I asked him if he wanted to come to my sisters place with me so he could do a cheat for a game we play and he said yes. I told him i was going that night, but then rescheduled for boxing day and he still said he wanted to come with me. The next day, I told him the time when i would be going at and asked if that was okay and also wished him a merry christmas, but he didn’t reply to my text at all. The day I went to my sisters, I asked one more time if he was coming or not and he replied an hour later saying he was going boxing day shopping. Since then, he’s pretty much been ignoring me. Last week-Now this is the REALLY bad part I was talkking about lol- I was out with friends and got really drunk and ended up sending him a text asking to have sex and also sent a bad kind of picture with the text…. and he ignored it!!
I am sooo embarrassed, I feel like an idiot. I haven’t tried texting him since and he hasn’t texted me. I don’t even know how to talk to him now. I really don’t know what to do and I feel like a complete idiot 🙁

admin

January 6, 2014 at 6:36 pm

You don’t have to feel like an idiot. It’s ok.

Not the smartest move on your part but its ok.

Just apologize and slip into NC for a while.

Cindy

January 6, 2014 at 2:16 am

Hi Chris, I ve leave a comment on one of your Posts a while ago. I hve been following the NC and I did it! One thing that makes me curious, my ex (he tried to broke up with me because of other girl), he tried to call and text me back not so long after I finished the NC (2 months exactly) and he acted like nothin’ happened, he dropped a jokes, etc, not even a single apologize. What I did with his text is, replying with another jokes and leave his text by not reply him anymore, I also acted like nothin happen.

But, it just makes me wondering, he’s been stated that he regret and crying in his post on one of the social networking ( I never leave a comment), but then after he tried to texted me back, it seems like he post something totally different.. like he saw a lot of pretty girl recently, etc.. He texted me occasionally, not everyday.

What I always did is I never texted him at first and only reply his text lightly,, but I am not sure, do I still need to continue to reply him or just ignore him?

PLease help me

admin

January 6, 2014 at 6:32 pm

You can probably try extending conversations.
Cindy

January 7, 2014 at 4:00 am

In a conditions, he who broke up for another girl and tried to contacted me back by acting like nothing happen, ( I am not mad or anythin) but is it appropriate if I am the one who tried to extending the conversation? ^-^

I am wondering…
admin

January 7, 2014 at 6:46 pm

What? That comment made no sense to me at all hahaha.
Cindy

January 8, 2014 at 2:29 pm

I dont get it? which comment?
Cindy

January 8, 2014 at 2:41 pm

To be honest, I ve never been being left behind because my ex bf has an affair, usually I have a “normal” breakup which not include any other women in it. So.. honestly, I am totally no clue about what to do, the situation right now is, I still feel hurts because he left me for another girl and now he tried to contact me back and acted like nothin happen.. I have no clue whether its me who need to extend the conversation or I only need to wait and let it be like what it will be..

You stated that you are a very involved with the visitors in your site, but the unclear reply of yours have made me questioning it, did you really involved???
admin

January 8, 2014 at 6:09 pm

I try to be as involved as I can but when you have 500 people a day wanting advice it can be kind of hard. Sorry if you feel I am not being fair to you.

I know it hurts he left you for another girl but have you completed your full NC yet? B/c if you haven’t then I would suggest not talking to him until after.
cindy

January 9, 2014 at 1:54 am

i get it,
Anyway, i have done my nc. i was just confuse of facing his text,

this guy was cheated on me, but his text act like he has done nothin wrong. maybe i need to move on? ignore him maybe?

thanks a lot!

Valerie

January 5, 2014 at 2:08 pm

Hey! 🙂 I posted this a few days ago but it wasn’t responded to. I’m putting it here in case you didn’t see. If you did and I’m bothering you, then I apologise. Haha the ungettable girl guide tells me the qualities of an ungettable girl and how to be one, but how do I show my ex I am one without contacting him? Oh, I’m going to be seeing him at an event during nc but I don’t have to talk to him. I know that’s a good time to show that I’m an ungettable girl but are there any other things I could do during the event? And in your ebook if says that I have to have an aura that screams that I can’t be seduced. How do I get that? Is it a by-product of having the other qualities of a UG? Thanks in advance! 😀

admin

January 5, 2014 at 8:18 pm

Usually you can do that through things like friends talking about you, facebook, etc, etch.

Thao

January 5, 2014 at 7:49 am

Your website is the best! Thank you very much, Chris! I talked about your website with my female friend and we call it “broken heart’s medecine”!
I wish you a wonderful 2014!

admin

January 5, 2014 at 8:15 pm

Broken Hearts Medicine!

I like that. You just made my day.

Diana

January 5, 2014 at 3:15 am

Hey Chris, love your website, lots of great advice.

Let’s say he starts to regret letting you go because of all the RIGHT things you do (as you suggest) – at what point does he act on this regret to get you back, instead of just trying to push through the “post-breakup feelings”? And, won’t his friends advise him to just move on if he seeks their input? How can you really show him that you’re worth another chance?

admin

January 5, 2014 at 8:07 pm

Hahah its funny you say this b/c I am literally writing a post about regretting right now!

Maggie Feller

January 5, 2014 at 2:41 am

Chris,

I need your advice.. I met a guy online, then we talked for a while, then met in person. Chemistry was right, we had a great time. Then I sabotaged the relationship by getting too serious too fast. I bet you’ve heard that one! Well, I wished him well and went on my way. I signed up on another dating site, and over time I began noticing he had began pursuing me thru several factitious profiles but never admitting it was him. I’m not delusional, at first I thought I was delusional. As time passed it became more obvious it was him. It’s now been 7 weeks and he won’t admit he’s the one doing this. He’s a good man. I’ve repeatedly asked him to own up to it, but he hasn’t yet. It’s the most bizarre situation I’ve encountered. Our communication has been meaningful, he asks me reveal what I want in a man, what are my goals, what does it mean to be in love. He was married for 16 years, and divorced 4 years ago. He’s brilliant, and caring.
What should I do? Give this more time, this is the 9th week of this.. I’m tired of it, it’s drained me, for a while I enjoyed it, but it’s causing havoc on my emotions. We’re not kids..he’s 48 and I’m 42.

What should I do? Should I just close that dating profile and wait to see if he mans up? Or keep doing this for a while?

Please help me!

admin

January 5, 2014 at 8:03 pm

Getting too serious too fast. Yes, you have to be kind of slow and measured with these type of things.

Why doesn’t someone just text someone? B/c the way things are going it is like little kids hahaha.
Maggie

January 6, 2014 at 2:31 pm

Chris,

I tried texting him, but no reply. Should I remove my online dating profile and just implement the NC rule?
maggie

January 5, 2014 at 10:36 pm

I totally agree! Little kids!! I’ve texted him..on his cell…..no response. He hasn’t responded except for through factious profiles. I’m the fool for holding on for as long as I have.

Should I do the NC thing? Just stay off online dating sites for a while? This is hands down the most bizarre situation I’ve ever encountered.
admin

January 6, 2014 at 6:24 pm

Wow… that is a little funny. Its like he is scared to talk to you as he is so he uses these profiles to check up on you.

Just like a little kid hahaha.

I think NC is a good idea.
maggie

January 5, 2014 at 10:41 pm

He’s actually getting off on the attention.
maggie

January 5, 2014 at 10:47 pm

He expects me to log on so he can continue the charade. NC = not logging on to the site for a month or so? It will help clear my head and move on.

Leighanne

January 4, 2014 at 7:31 pm

If an ex falls into the actual jerk category, can NC and other strategies be as effective?

admin

January 5, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Oh yes it can still be very effective.

rach

January 4, 2014 at 2:42 pm

Well I am so glad that this particular guide doesn’t apply to me! I submitted a comment the other day but I don’t know what happened to it, so I’m about to try again.
After going through a second NC period that lasted about 3 weeks (basically I backed off and “left the ball in his court” after the texts went out for us to try again). We saw each other for the first time since that (at work) and things seemed really normal between us. He would initiate conversations, joke and play around with me, he finally started asking me about what happened with my divorce and everything. I told him most of what transpired and he told me then that he was happy that things were working out for me. I had already decided that I wasn’t going to text him after work either. So about an hour before he knows I go to bed he shot me this message: “By the way I don’t remember if I told you today but congratulations on everything I am glad everything is working out for you!!!”
I said thank you, he again told me he was happy for me and I again thanked him and I left it at that. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy for that because that made me feel that not only is he thinking about me in a positive manner but it kinda seemed as though he was reaching with his reason to text. Since he already had said in person that he was happy for me, it just kinda felt like he wanted to talk, but he had to have a reason to reach out I guess. It honestly feels that way a lot of the time with him, like he wants to talk to me but he doesn’t want to show it, he wants me to be the one to show it.
So to get to my question; since the texts went out for us to try again and he said that he “just can’t do it” I kinda feel as tho I should give him the chance to show a little more initiative. I’m not certain that that was enough for me to bounce right back into trying to spark things back up. That isn’t necessarily a pride thing, I’m more afraid of looking like I’m chasing and being too available which I don’t think would be good.
What do you think? Should I give him more time to show me that he may be interested before I start taking initiative, or should I try to get things slowly going again?
Thanks so much!
Nicole

January 4, 2014 at 7:08 am

Hey Chris!
I get excited when I see you post a new section on here! This one was actually helpful. When someone says mean things to you (an ex) and it’s been about a few months are they still hurt inside from the breakup to make them react that way?

admin

January 4, 2014 at 7:00 pm

Funny!

I am always excited to see new comments on new posts.

Yes, it can take sometimes years (depending on the reslationship) for an ex to kind of recover.
Nicole

January 5, 2014 at 1:56 am

I wrote to you on another post on what happened and all and him saying mean stuff you think there’s another chance maybe afte d30 days things can actually be okay to talk? I feel like I did the reaching out a bit and i got slapped in the face. Should I just not do anything?
admin

January 5, 2014 at 8:02 pm

Well, let me ask you this.

What do you think will happen if you reach out again this time?
Nicole

January 9, 2014 at 12:29 am

What do you suggest? It’s been almost 4 months and like everyone tells me to go and talk to other people but everyday my heart hurts more and more. I’m moving there this weekend and I just wish that maybe well talk again. I just feel empty with nothing inside me left to love. I hope you can help me 🙁 I just hope I didn’t ruin any chances. I want to try and make this better than before and different.
Nicole

January 12, 2014 at 5:49 am

So I added you to google plus to talk. Hopefully that will work out better! I really want to do anything I can to make this work out!
admin

January 12, 2014 at 6:10 pm

Hahaha I am checking now!
Nicole

January 13, 2014 at 2:47 pm

I am just on it now!
Nicole

January 13, 2014 at 10:00 pm

You get everything I said? I think I sent you my long explanation on what happened on one of these pages lol not sure which one but it was long!
Nicole

February 22, 2014 at 11:01 pm

I had to tell you the update now.
Nicole

February 19, 2014 at 1:32 am

I think I’ll have to say I realize I deserve better then him cuz he is a mean person now and I can find a nicer guy. Thanks for everything!
admin

January 14, 2014 at 5:36 pm

I did… I will get back to you later today. I have stuff to take care of.
Nicole

January 8, 2014 at 1:48 am

I’m not sure 🙁 should I wait 30 days again? Or this time let him come to me. ?

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346 thoughts on “Why Your Ex Boyfriend Acts Like A Jerk”