Why Does Your Ex Boyfriend Contact You When Hes In Another Relationship

415 thoughts on “Why Your Ex Boyfriend Contacts You When Hes In Another Relationship”

Rita

December 13, 2017 at 10:48 pm

Hey Chris

I met this guy for almost two years ago. We’ve been together for almost six months. His life was very complicated at that time. I saw him losing jobs and his house so I most definitely took care of him. After a while I found out he was cheating on me with several females so I broke up with him. It was a very nasty break up.. after almost two months he texted me he was sorry. It wasn’t really a serious text so I ignored it. After three months when he get out a new relationship I saw him sneaking on my snapchat (thanks to snapchat for this ability to see who’s watching you lol) I didn’t really care I was just wondering why. He was being on my Snapchat everyday watching my story. I brushed that off cause there some people watching any story cause they bored. After a year I texted him that I forgave him for everything he has done even if he was sorry or not. I cleared the air and moved on for myself. After I texted him this he was posting a snap for the first time ever since I was following him. I told my friend to watch it cause I don’t wanted he was very happy in it. Well I was happy that he was it. Two months later I posted a snap about my upcoming project. He took the step and texted me and asked me about my well being. I was kinda pissed off so we had more of an argument than a real conversation long story short he wanted to see me again.. I declined. We ended up in another argument we both ended up deleting each other. After four months I contacted him told him I would like to meet up know since I had the feeling we both should fix our behavior. We ended up seeing each other he was a different person I really saw how much he was working on being a better person. He had a new job, new clothes, car everything. The way he was carrying himself was differently and he really tried to improve himself in several ways, which he thought would have been the problem I broke up with me.. He apologized for everything and told me that he regreted doing all that shit and he asked me if I’d stil like to marry him like we was talking about when we was together. I declined and told him I wasn’t ready for anything. He hurt me and I just contacted him cause I was curious about finding out what he was about. He told me that he feels sorry that I just came to find out about his intentions cause he would still care and thought I was feeling the same. We met for three hours and during those three hours he introduced me to his stepsister I’ve never seen before. Which was very weird to me cause he was always so private with his family and we aint together. Anyhow he told me he was seeing another girl. But he isn’t sure with her .. I knew about the other female and was patiently waiting for him to tell me about her. I asked him why he lied to me he and this girl were together for almost 6 months and he was showing her off several times (especially that time when we was arguing about seeing eachother or not) well. He ended up telling me that he loves her but it’s not a save relationship. A lot of drama and I don’t know what to think about it. What does this guy want from me? And why is he talking to me knowing he has another female? What was his plan??? He is still in a relationship with her. I heard about she might be a rebound, but who rebounds almost 7 months to get „over“ a 5 months realtionship?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 3:52 pm

Hi Rita,

sometimes it can start as a rebound but as a rebound relationship gets longer, the less it becomes a rebound because the relationship gets stronger.

Donna

November 18, 2017 at 2:25 pm

If men think pretty highly of themselves and believe that they are entitled to the best women, common sense says they will always be looking outside their current relationship to find another woman that is better than the one they are committed to. Since there are always going to be women smarter, funnier, more beautiful, etc., this logic will ensure that men will never stay with one woman. The cycle will continue if, or until they become self aware and adopt some healthy understanding of what being in a real relationship means instead and not be lead by their ego. This doesn’t seem to be that encouraging for those of us that have been married for over a decade and our husbands have left us for their affair partner. It tells us that we were objectified and not valued for who we are. What inventive is there to be in a another relationship?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 20, 2017 at 5:31 am

Hi Donna,

That’s an insecure guy.. The right kind of guy will still appreciate other women but not jump from one to another..

Being your best self is a way of respecting him and the relationship, and of course yourself.. When you’re your best self, you stay true to who you are, and the right guy will love the real you..

And another important factors in relationships are variety and mystery .. If you’re not always available and you’re constantly improving yourself for yourself, that means there’s always something he’ll be curious about with you..
And in that way, you also stay interdependent because you have your own life..

Alexa

November 18, 2017 at 10:22 am

Hi Chris,

I am currently cohabiting with my ex bf (4 years together) because our rental contract has not ended yet. It will be ending in 2 months time. Even though he dumped me, he still want to be friends with me, so he keeps asking me out for lunches and dinner. When I ask him why he is doing this, he says it is because he wants to end our relationship on a good note. Eventhough I have lunch and dinner with him, he seems to be texting other girls all the time. Does this mean that he really has moved on and just really want to be friends with me? He even asked me for sex but he say directly to my face that he just wants sex and ask me not to have any hope on getting back together.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 20, 2017 at 5:20 am

Hi Alexa,

He’s trying to be friends with benefits with you..

Weronica

October 30, 2017 at 9:04 am

Hi,
I was dating a guy for 5 months. He’s my 1st one. We got acquainted during our exchange period in another country. So, we were dating, we lived together, travelled the world, he was telling me about our “future”, and I know he wasn’t playing with me back then, he was sincere, but then something happened… He told me that I should understand that we will break up since we live in different countries and it’s really difficult for him to be in a long distance relationship and since we are students we don’t have enough money to travel to each other often and it’s going to be extremely difficult. I just agreed on that and he said that we going to be friends.
When we came back to our home countries, he in less than a month got back with his ex. He told me he broke up with her because of me back then. He kept texting me and I came to him after 2 months. We met etc. and just enjoyed our time together. I kissed another guy and my ex was extremely jealous and really was close to kill me. And he was always really jealous.
So, for now, he is still with his gf, but texts me every day. Some texts are “sexts”.
I don’t understand what’s going on in his head. I still love him. Every time we text I feel good, but then something related to her pops up and it hurts.
I don’t know how to react; I don’t want to lose him. And I don’t want to be a sidechick or backup plan. Whatever.
I would appreciate any advice or thoughts considering my situation!
I don’t have much experience in that stuff and just love him blindly.
Thank уou.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 3:30 pm

Hi Weronica,

If you’re sexting, that means you’re friends with benefits.. Check this one:
Sleeping with Your Ex Boyfriend… Does It Work?

Patsy

October 27, 2017 at 3:00 pm

Hi Cris,
It has been three years since my break up. I actually ended the relationship because he cheated. He moved on quickly and went through a few new ones but now he is engaged. He always kept in touch and now he wants to talk to me about his fiance, in a negative way and says he is not going to marry her. I asked him not to talk to me about their problems and he stopped so the next time he contacted me he asked why did I end it and says he would have handled thing differently with me. Every time he gets a new facebook account he adds me as a friend and he will do something or say something on facebook, contrary to what he says when he calls me regarding his new relationship. i don’t have time for games or drama so, I delete him as a friend. I don’t know what he is up to or what he wants but I suspect he wants to feel me out to see if he can cheat with me, on her like he cheated on me. I am a really nice person but sometimes I think i can’t be his friend because it is all so confusing and too much drama.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 30, 2017 at 8:25 pm

Hi Patsy,

Then don’t..you shouldn’t be friends with him..

Mercy

August 28, 2017 at 3:33 pm

He cheated on me after being together for 3 years. I went NC for a month. 2 weeks he tried calling me which I did not pick up. After 2 weeks he started dating the girl he cheated me with. But after 2 more weeks, texted me and called me saying he misses me and loves me. I replied him asking him not to string me along, either be with me or break it up. He asked sometime and I replied I can’t wait. He replied he already told his gf about us. I replied repeating not to throw breadcrumbs and string me along; either be with me or break it off. As I understand he is planning to propose to her. It has been 4 days after my last text and no reply yet. I assume he is going to get engaged and married soon. Should I wait or move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 28, 2017 at 7:39 pm

Hi Mercy,

check this one:
My Boyfriend Says He Wants To Date Me and Another Girl

Sheelagh

August 19, 2017 at 3:01 pm

I broke up with my man and pretty quickly he is with someone else. This gave me a kick i needed to realise i want him back. I did the 3 week no contact and we text occasionally but nothing flirty. He texted me to say he wasn’t going to mutual friends party and if i was going to enjoy? Why if he has moved on? Would ot be mad to meet him and explain things in a cheerful way how i feel. The not knowing is driving me mad!

Nica

September 22, 2017 at 6:51 pm

Hi,
I was dating a guy for 3 years. During those three years we decided to take a break. To me a break means that we just need to be away from one another to miss each other to reconnect and to try to work things out. Come to find out that he had met somebody in June of this year 2017 and then he told me that he had slept with her. I told him that we were on a break, why would he slept with somebody. So I broke it off. And now he’s been calling and texting me even though he still seeing the other person and still wanting sexual favors from me. What do I tell him? Without being the nasty women. I want to be friends and nothing else. But he get mad at me for saying this. He cheated on me. I don’t want any kind of sexual relationship with him without looking like the bad persons. Or getting emotionally connect to him again. I’m Trying to be nice about this whole situation. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 27, 2017 at 4:32 pm

Hi Nica,

check this one:
EBR 030: What To Do If You Sleep With Your Ex Boyfriend
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 22, 2017 at 6:38 pm

Hi Sheelagh,

when and why did you break up, how long was the relationship, how much did you improve during and after nc, and were you active in posting?

Maria

August 15, 2017 at 3:21 pm

Hi
I been leaving with my boyfriend for few mounts. We never fight and enjoyed every moment together. We had different ways how to reise the children which we bough had from provirus relationships. One day he just moved out after one of conflicts with the kids. We tried few times to get back but problem with kids always ended the same. We try be friends with benefits but after a while he starts avoid me saing that we shouldn’t seeing each others because we not work together. We not been in touch for a while till we start seeing each other on the street. I text him politely n shortelly he asked me to meet for sex. I said no and I said that I’m seeing someone. But we decide to be friends. He talks to me friendly n then he stops saying that he not want relationship, that he wants to look after his child till child need it. I didn’t ask him to get back together. Two weeks after I called him when I was very upset. He spoked with me,gives a friendly advise but he didn’t want to hung up for a drink saying that he not want to be with anyone,that’s not right time , that he knows that we will have a grate time together but we shouldn’t meet. we still friends. A week after I call him he didn’t pick up because it was his work time, he text me back asking what’s wrong I said that I thought we are friends but my messages didn’t go true to him any more. So I wanted find out what’s wrong.He text me that he seeing someone and he don’t want ruin it but he still will be my friend. I don’t understand why he saing me that he want to be single till his child grow enough to not need him, saing that he is single and when I give him more attention a week after he saing me that he is in a relationship. I’m so confused.
eden

August 4, 2017 at 2:19 pm

we been together for 1 years after 3 mounth we broke up he found new girl friend from his basis
he send me a massage when I almost forgot him
one day I went to his house and we slept .it happened more time I told him it hard for me to be in this sitiuation .he not understand I don’t understand if u don’t love your girl why u still with her .they are now 6 mounth together but he still send massage after 24 days I didnt spoke with him
I don’t know what I should do

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 6, 2017 at 9:34 am

HI Eden,

check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend And I Still Hook Up (How Can I Get Him To Commit)

and this one:
My Boyfriend Says He Wants To Date Me and Another Girl

Mimi

July 7, 2017 at 10:52 pm

OK. So… I have a question. We have been together almost 4 years. I’ve done everything for this man. I was the first and only woman to meet his mother and sister who means everything to him. I was literally there for him when he was shooting up. I literally saved this mans life. We been through it all. We have a baby girl. She’s 1. We just got married 2 months ago. Then one day at work I get a text saying we need to have a BIG talk. I knew something wasn’t right. He said I messed up this month I met someone and she makes me happy. He also said he slept with her. So he moved out into her house. 2 days later i put in my 2 weeks at work and told him i was moving to my moms. 3 hours away. So this is where it gets tricky. He doesn’t want me to leave but he hasn’t come home. He does not want a divorce. But yet he’s with her. He got super possesive when I said someone was dropping off the boxes that I don’t need him to bring any. Then he freaked out and said who like 6 times. Then he said what if I decide to come home. What if I’m sitting in your couch with my bags of clothes. Then I said I gotta go, AGAIN he freaked out but where ?? Where are u going?? Then he starts sending me naked pics of me in a text saying I’m his. That my ass is his lol. I ignored him .I said sorry I don’t wanna get back with you. I’ve changed. He said OK I’ll leave u alone. Next day he’s accusing me saying who is staying at my house with me. I said no one I’m not seeing anyone yet I’m not ready. Then he said let’s move together and start fresh. I said do you work today? Let’s talk in person. To which he replied I can’t Im working late all these days.I’ll come on Monday (today’s is Friday). Then few hours later he texts me he quit His job….. I didn’t answer. If he quit why doesn’t he want to meet up? He knows I move in a week. He’s about to lose me forever. Help

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2017 at 7:02 pm

Are you really moving out? If yes, just let him freak out through the whole limited nc..Check this one too:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Dani

July 4, 2017 at 3:00 am

Hi there,
My ex has a girlfriend for 1
month now, and I have not been in contact with him since they made it official, he showed up at my work unexpectedly today to come tell me in person that he is moving back home which is in another state.
I was not expecting this news or to see him, so my immediate reaction was sadness and my eyes just filled up with tears I tried my best to hold it back, and I could see he was also tearing up just before he left, why did he not just sent me a message with that news?

I obviously still have feelings for him, and I feel this girl has just been a rebound from the start. But seeing him and saying goodbye is just bringing back so much hurt
and emotions.
He then asked if we can go for lunch later this week before he leaves. I told him that I will go.

My q is, why not just text me the news? And why the lunch?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 4:32 pm

Have you gone to lunch by this time? Honestly, it’s better not to assume..just go so you’ll know

Louise

June 29, 2017 at 8:51 am

Hi, I need help..

I don’t know what’s going on anymore.. my ex and I have been split for a year now and I’m that year we’ve had our ups and downs we’ve been so close to getting back together and then been so far apart from each other.

About 2 months ago my ex got into a relationship with a girl who is the complete opposite of me.. he told me it was what he wanted and if I found it hard to talk to him maybe we shouldn’t talk (he knew I still loved him) so I did exactly that I did 30 days no contact I went out more with friends I met new people I started seeing someone new for a few weeks I was happy to say the least..

A few weeks later I got a random text of my ex apologising for not replying to a message i sent him a week earlier (his dad had passed away and we hadnt spoke since the funeral) I text him back asking how he’s been and before long he phoned me telling me his life was a mess his head was all over the place he wasn’t happy in his relationship with his girlfriend saying they’ve only been together a few months but he feels like it’s been so long and he doesn’t want to do it anymore.
anyways we still talk every now and then and he tells me without me asking about his relationship and I say that I’ll always be there to listen to him

A few days ago I went abroad and everyday he facetimed me and asked how I was he even facetimed me ont birthday so him mum could wish me happy birthday. He told me while I was still away he still loved me and wanted us to try again and have a second chance basically everything I’ve wanted to hear. He said he just needs to sort his situation.
Apparently he went to her house to talk and have the chat but it didn’t work out the way he wanted.
He talks to me still now and when I ask he say yeah we’re good thanks. I feel like when they are good I get dropped like I’m nothing and when they go through a rough patch he wants me around
He’s promised to come see me in September when I’m home alone.
We talk on the phone almost every night I love this man so much I don’t know what I’m supposed to do I still get upset a year later. I want him back more than anything I just don’t know how long I can keep up the pretence that I don’t care he’s with someone else.
Please help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2017 at 2:22 pm

Set a limit until when you’re going to do this because the longer you stay, the more youre going to be friendzoned

Vivian

June 5, 2017 at 8:20 pm

Hi?
So my ex texted me yesterday… I am not sure the reason why he texted me though since the conversation was brief.. He has a girlfriend( i don’t know if that’s true though)he told me he does have a girlfriend..but surely i don’t know the reason as to why he texted . If he asks for sex what should i say to him since he has a girl? Chris recommends not to have such a guy in your life but can i do something to make him change if that’s the reason he texted ? .. but what if he’s also trying to be friendly and to keep peace and he’s dating? Can i still have a chance with him? I love him still but i let him go and he texted me.. What can i do to improve my chances in those situations that are difficult to have a chance? Please help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 7, 2017 at 5:39 pm

you dont know if he has a girlfriend but he told you he has a gf? You cant change other people, that’s what standards are for. If they change for you, good, be thankful.. but dont take the credit for that.. That’s decision was made by that person, you didnt make it for them. That’s one of the characteristics of ungettable girls, they dont chase.. if he wants you, then he has to do the work. If you want to be treated better, dont allow what you dont want to happen to you.

MAY

May 19, 2017 at 10:59 pm

Ok so I have a question.. I feel like I may already know the answer to this but I’d like to know others options on my situation..

Ok so he wasn’t exactly a boyfriend more of a fling (slept together).. but I did have feelings for him. Anyway the reason why we didn’t keep pursing anything is because he stoped messaging me so I felt like I did some wrong anyway 7 years goes by .. I see him rerguarly as he works up the road but never make eye connect with him because it just felt awkward.. then one day I seen him and he just started me.. I don’t know how to describe it but it was a good stare.. Anyway so I decided to message him on Facebook and tell him I’m sorry for being a snob and being so rude every time I see you that it’s just to Anward.. he replies back that he never thought things were awkward and that how his misuses is having a baby and how excited he is… So I congratulate him and say maybe one day we can hang out again (friend way not sex) anyway 2 years goes by and were still talking on messenger.. I do have a boyfriend by the way.. Anyway in between all these messages he talks a about sex but then talks about how his feelings are still there for me.. one day I went off at him.. Anyway I’m so confused.. I don’t know wether he just wants sex or those feelings are actually there.. it’s hard to tell with a guy they will tell you anything to make you feel good.. wether like it says up above I’m his easiest option because he’s already had me before.. or that his relationship isn’t working.. we have actually talked about meeting up.. we did have a fight once and he apologized and said that he guessed that he was looking for an outlet.. please let me know your thoughts.. my feelings are still there and I am so confused.. please let me know what you think his intentions are or what is on his mind.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 21, 2017 at 6:03 pm

I think the quickest way to know is to ask how he’s relationship is going..

Lucy

April 27, 2017 at 6:10 am

Hi team EBF!
I would like to thank you for the guide in getting back your ex. I’ve did the No Contact (successful!) did the First contact texts + tide theory (success!) and soon progressed to going out casually 2-3 times a week without sex ;). After a few weeks of that, he has been behaving like a puppy in love with me again. Surprisingly, I am not that eager to get back with him anymore. I must admit it is during the NC period that i made lots of self-reflection on my role (not his) in the relationship and realised there is nothing i can do to change the past. But who knows what the future holds?

So here’s for the readers out there to treat the No Contact period seriously. It’s only 30 days of your life that guarantees your sanity. I stopped talking about the breakup to friends & family after a week and vent everything into a journal. It’s a very difficult 30 days but hey, i made it out alive..

Cheers Team EBF! Thank you 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 30, 2017 at 7:53 am

Thank you for sharing Lucy!

Patti

April 23, 2017 at 3:40 am

My EX and I were LD. I broke it off several times but went back talking to him as I thought I made a mistake and I do things rashly in other areas of my life. Broke it off basically because he was talking to other women online. I even suspected he had another woman due to rarely ever speaking about anyone in his life or talking about his days, other than sleeping or working. Each time I contacted he wrote back almost immediately and said he loves me and always will, and thinks of me often.

I recently found out he has a brain tumor which appears to be terminal but he is taking treatments. I contacted because I cared and was concerned. He responded right away and we texted all night and then two weeks after. Each time though he would end the conversation at some point, by not writing back. If i didn’t follow up, I wouldn’t hear from him. I let a week or so go by and never heard back.

Went online and saw that he had died with a long obituary describing all his family members. To my shock there was a photo of him marrying some blond woman!! The date of the photo was a month prior. I was absolutely speechless and angry knowing I had been with him for over 2 years LD and he never mentioned anyone!

Would you give me your opinion on this and advise if he was likely seeing her all along? I’m sure he wouldn’t just marry someone he just met. Why was he being all lovey dovey with me?

I just don’t get it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 28, 2017 at 6:26 pm

Wait, you mean he’s dead now?

Samantha

April 16, 2017 at 7:12 am

Hello

My boyfriend and I dated for 5 months and he broke it off by stating that we had “obvious differences” – but since the “official” break up we have been texting daily for about a month and then he texted that he met someone new and started dating them. He continued to text me and I told him not to. He went three weeks with NC and then texted again at 11:30pm to ask “how are you”? – I responded by asking him to stop texting me as I feel it’s unfair to me – his response is that he is just being friendly and would like to remain as friends –
Do you believe this to be true or does he have other motives?

Samantha

April 16, 2017 at 3:45 pm

No –
we don’t and won’t ever see each other (not in the same proximity) –
I think he just needs some comfort knowing that I’m there? or trying to ease his guilt about breaking up with me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 5:23 pm

That’s good that you weren’t. it might be the second reason or he’s trying to friend zone you because he’s still used to talking to you
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 2:48 pm

he might be trying to friendzone you.. were you friends with benefits before?

Miwa

March 27, 2017 at 10:52 am

Hi Chris,
I really like your advice based on human psychology and behavior, and the examples that are easy to understand. I really appreciate your generosity and kindness for providing such useful advice to all.
I have broken up with my ex-boyfriend last July (8 months ago) who was with me for 8 months and I kept pursuing him over 5 months until last December. However, I tried ‘no contact rule’ for 30 days through mid-December to mid-January. He kept sending text messages to me while I was ignoring him for the ‘no contact period’ and he told me he missed me and he wants to give a second try for our relationship when we met after the ‘no contact period’. However, I knew he has been casually sleeping with multiple girls after we broken up and I didn’t feel he was serious enough about getting back together. Moreover, I thought it’s not a good idea getting back together so easily especially when he has some girls to sleep with. I answered him ‘ I don’t know about it’. We met few times after that and he wanted to sleep with me, but I refused it because I thought it was inadequate. The problem is that we are in a same salsa community and we see each other at salsa parties even when I don’t want to see him. I’ve also heard that he has been sleeping with some girls in the community which made me upset and I told him that I was upset. Since them, he said he wants to keep in touch with me, but he looks like he stopped pursuing me. I am not sure what to do anymore. Please advice!!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2017 at 4:54 pm

Hi Miwa,

that’s good that you didn’t sleep with him, because it looks like that’s just what he wants.. if he is serious with you, he should be faithful and perseverant in getting you back.. Either you move on or set a time limit and you just keep improving yourself and refusing him while telling him your standards

Yna

February 27, 2017 at 4:55 pm

Hi Chris

my boyfriend broke up with me because he thinks we dont have spark and he is no longer happy with me but he said he loves me after i 2 or 3 weeks i heard that he is dating his new officemate.were in 4years relationship.we broke up 4 months ago.last february they officially in a relationship.every time he has a problem with the girl he always told me even he said that im not the right person to listen to his problem.were friends.i really love him because his the one.i was confused if i have a chance.sometime he said he miss me he has a feeling for me.if he they have problem im always there for him.he said im dont deserve someone like him.what im going to do?.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2017 at 8:00 pm

Hi Yna,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Leigh

February 12, 2017 at 11:46 am

Hey, me and my ex have been broke up for about 4 months now, he ended things after arguments broke out for some time after he started flirting with other girls infront of me and admitted to having feelings towards this other girl, a huge factor was he said he wanted to be single again. However they are now both seeing eachother but when we both came back to uni after Christmas he has told me there’s no harm in trying things with her, and that he’s less of a mess when he’s single and being with her doesn’t mean that he’s over me. He has wanted to meet up for coffee and wants to forget about the bad parts of our past. Last weekend he drunk messages me saying how much he misses me. I’ve come so far from being extremely depressed after our relationship ended but all these feelings have surfaced since he’s been into contact with me again I’m very confused on the current situation any advice?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2017 at 8:16 pm

Hi Leigh

he’s friendzoning you.. I think that’s because he misses talking to you but that doesn’t mean he wants to be with you..He just missed talking to you..

« Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 … 9 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

415 thoughts on “Why Your Ex Boyfriend Contacts You When Hes In Another Relationship”