How To Make My Ex Change His Mind And Come Back To Me

156 thoughts on “Will He Change His Mind And Come Back To Me?”

Jess

April 26, 2018 at 9:18 pm

My ex broke up with me today he spent most of the five hours we spent together today crying saying he feels like he’s having a breakdown because his mum died in October and he’s just getting chance to grieve now. He said he’s IN love with me not just that he loves me but he can’t be in a relationship right now because he can’t cope with anything in his life at the moment. What do I do is there any hope

Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 9:29 pm

Hi Jess…I am sorry you are going through such a rough time. But you are going to get through this as the signs are pointing to a potential positive result. First you need to understand and learn more about how to handle yourself during this confusing and hard to manage breakup period you are in right now. So many emotions can just take its grip, but just know you will get through all this. If you have not already done so, pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”, because it is hugely comprehensive and can give you so much more than I can here! Just go to my website Menu/Products link and you can learn much more. I think he needs some space to find himself and you too need to undergo some healing. How you do all that is covered in my book. Its kinda like a Companion Guide. Let me know how things progress for you, Jess!

Sam

February 3, 2018 at 4:19 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. Our relationship was slow moving, because I just wasn’t as interested, but he was persistent for over a year, even when I lived far across the world for a short amount of time. For me, once I came back that was the spark to our relationship. The beginning of the relationship was amazing. We took all these trips together and enjoyed always being around each other. We are both currently in college, and once I came back we were both stressed and tended to argue a lot over the weekends when we drink. I believe we were still early in our relationship and learning about each other. After every argument though we would cool off, and then talk so we wouldn’t be speaking off of emotions. We took a week break, and I was able to gain some clarity. Since then, it’s been a few months and everything has been better. No aruguments, everything started to seem perfect again. We shared the holidays with each other and our families. With the new semester starting for school, everything was still going well. We would still see each other, and loved being with each other and we didn’t argue. However, then out of the blue he broke up with me. I was completely blind sided because I had no signal. He claimed he still loved me, but he has a lot he needs to figure out right now for himself (work, school, extra curriculars) and he needed space for that. He said he had too much respect for me to drag me on during this time. The first time we talked, he said he was thinking about the breakup for about a month, and talked to his friends about it. He told me he just wasn’t feeling the same way anymore. I met with him a few days later to talk things over. He claimed that he was telling himself for the longest time everything was okay, when it wasn’t. He said he could see a future with me one day, and see me as his wife. He told me I’m the most caring person he knows and it’s not my fault. I wrote him a letter during this time, and while he read it he then also claimed that he might not be 100% over our previous arguments. I was crying and begging him I’m willing to change and make a difference, especially because I was able to prove that by us not arguing for a long time. However it didn’t change his mind. During this talk, he was crying his eyes out and his hand on my leg. He kissed me on my forehead and left. Please help me. I love him so much and its been about two years.I am so confused on what I need to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2018 at 12:57 pm

Hi Sam

do you want to try the nc rule?

clemence

January 27, 2018 at 5:40 pm

Hi Amor, me again..
Tomorrow it will be 21 days of NC. I haven’t talked to him at all (he didn’t try to contact me either so im not sure he misses me…). As i told you i went to Barcelona for 3 days on my own and posted pictures on FB, I am working full time and nothing to change there as i like my job. I am going shopping tomorrow to update my wardrobe and I have an appointment on tuesday to have my hair cut. Today I decided to go back to my old passion:dancing. I spent the whole day learning how to dance Lindy Hop and it was really nice!
So I am definetly improving myself even if it isnt easy everyday…

I have 2 questions: when I previously contacted you, you said to do 21-30 days NC. Should I go up to 30 days or can contact him in the next few days?
Also, his sisters are the only persons we have in common really… One of them kind of pushed me to go back on dancing and I thought I would text her to let her know about today and I know for sure she will tell him (last time I spoke to her after the break up she told him and he texted me “my sister said she spoke to you”). Is it ok to text her? The other sister wanted to invite me over for dinner soon but I havent heard from her yet…

I have read many articles on this website but I am still so scared of failling at having him back even though I am doing things right (I think…)

What do you think?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2018 at 11:42 pm

Hi Clemence,
if you’ve been texting his sisters during nc, extend to 30 days and avoid for that for the mean time because if he finds that out, he might think you’re trying to get him back through his sisters.

clemence

January 21, 2018 at 5:48 pm

I don;t really understand why checking on “dating yourself”… I made the effort to go out with my co-workers last week and put a picture of me on FB with make up on. Then this weekend I went to Barcelona on my own and again posted some pictures of nice landscapes (not too many, but I always do it when im travelling somewhere so nothing new) and I am planning on having a new hair cut next week. I am already doing things for myself and I am still on NC since 15 days now… He hasn’t liked any of my photos on FB… Am I doing things right? Do you think I have a chance?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 22, 2018 at 4:10 am

It gives you an idea on what to do and to focus in yourself.. That’s ok if he doesn’t like any of it, as long as you have posts and you keep posting because it establishes that you’re moving on..if your ex has moved on, he will not be friendly with you affer nc if he thinks your chasing..and if he gets curious on why you initiated texting, he will probably check your account, and seeing your posts can help him think that maybe you’re just being friendly

Clemence

January 20, 2018 at 6:36 pm

Sory i don’t know how to repond to your comment Amor…
He wasn’t distant with me since begining of december. He said he has been thinking about his feelings but never was distant with me! He kind of make sure i booked my flights, asking me what i wanted for christmas even though he already got me something etc. He really started being distant straight after christmas…
It’s now been 14 days without news… NC is really hard!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 21, 2018 at 10:04 am

Ah ok.. Check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant

Inno

January 18, 2018 at 12:46 pm

Hi
I broke up with my boyfriend 2months back because he wasn’t communicating with me he can just decide to go mute for days and expect me to be cool with that. .that’s where I broke up with him we started to argue about this then he decided to send me a picture of him and some lady claiming she is the new lady. .which is a lie he just wanted to hurt me. I then took the picture I posted it on social media things went from bad to worse
I regret posting it i apologised he forgiven me..I asked him to reconsider our relationship he said in 2018 he doesn’t want a relationship he wants to focus on his life if I don’t mind I can wait for him so that we can start over in 2019 I agreed to wait but then early January 2018 he said it’s a waste of time he doesn’t see where we are going he sees no future after he says he won’t be with me because I fight pain with pain. .but he still updates me with his life he sends me his nudes he says he cares about me he will always be there for me. He still wants me to visit..but he can’t give me a relationship

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 20, 2018 at 1:39 am

Hi Inno,

check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Maria

January 17, 2018 at 5:39 pm

Okay here’s my story,

Boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months. Long story short he’s always had insecurities about me I’ve accomdated my myself to be understanding of him and I’ve never been unfaithful at all, we have been fighting a lot lately and once he was so mad and upset during an argument that he said this relationship is over I just stood there and stayed quiet I knew he said that out of anger and told him to never say that to me unless he means it . One month later he really made a mistake and got mad over something small , he took out his anger on me and yelled at me and I gave him his space he waited for me to talk to him but he had to fix things with me because he over reacted, took him three days and even then he didn’t try to fix things I had to initiate it and tell him to meet me somewhere to solve this problem in the end he recognized that he made a big deal out of this problem it was unnecessary and made up , 5 minutes later he got mad because I had deleted text messages of a conversation between a friend (a girl ) and I , he had made a big deal out of it that he posted about it on social media and my friend reached out to see what was going on we are mutual friends . He was mad that I deleted the conversation and confessed that he had been checking my phone and reading my messages and said that I had been blocking her . And I felt hurt and accused when I hadn’t done anything to him and I felt framed because I’m only talking to my best friend and it’s a girl I would understand if it was a guy. But it was a girl. I walked away to not yell at him and he said that the relationship was over so I drove off. Come to find out that he came to my house telling me that he’s giving me one last chance and what I wanted to say to him and I told him you made a decision to end it with me there’s nothing to talk about. I feel like I lost my true love I’m hurt . Don’t know what to do . Will he come back to me and if he does what actions do I take ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 2:58 pm

Hi Maria

Do you really want a guy like that? He will continue to get mad and blame you for it, if you’re sure that’s ok with you,then ok, try the nc rule to try to get him back

clemence

January 16, 2018 at 7:28 pm

Hi

My boyfriend broke up with me after 6 month of relationship. It might not be long but everything was going well, there were no signs or warning for me to think that he will break up out of the blue like that…

We were seing each other once or twice due to our busy jobs and different schedules. We met each other’s family (he even came to France to meet mine at my sister’s birthday). He invited me over for christmas and had lovely 3 days at his moms with his sisters. He also invited me to come to Mexico in April with his family and I booked my flights about 2 weeks before christmas.
Everything was really going well, his family loves me and his sisters said they had a great connection with me! His friends like me too.

But on the 27th, I didnt have any news. I thought he wanted some space with his family so I let him but on the 29th I finale got a text but he was being very distant and cold. i have asked him if everything was ok and he said that he was all over the place at the moment but that I had nothing to do with it. That christmas was really nice and that I was adorable and everybody loved me. But on New year’s eve I only had “happy new year x” text so I called him on the 1st asking what was going on. He told me we needed to talk but not over the phone… He came to mine the next day and broke up with me.
He said it wasn’t me, but he. That I had all the qualities he likes in a woman, that he had feelings (more than just a friend) but he thought they will not develop more. He said that he felt that we were not right for each other but couldnt actually explain why…
He said that again, he was all over the place, that he didn’t know who he was yet and what he wanted to be and where he will be in few years etc..
I told him I loved him at christmas and thought I scared him but he said it wasn’t because of that. He said that he was thinking about it since begining of december.
He told me he was really sorry to hurt me, that he was very sad about this and it was hard for him too.
I cried in his arms and he comforted me for over an hour…
None of us said something mean to each other, we seperate in a very calm and respectfull way. We never even had a fight before…

I just dont understand how in one day everything is over!!
Could he be just confused and lost?
He texted me 4 days after the break up asking how i was. So i replied that I was ok and asked how he was. He said that he has been thinking about me.
I chose to ignore it and replied to his question about Mexico (rather I cancel my flights etc..). I was a bit distant as I didn’t want him to think that we were friends… but I feel like I should have been more friendly? He acted wierd on his answers to so i was very confused after that.

I don’t have any news since (it’s been 11 days…). I decided to try the no contact thing and it is really hard because I don’t know if there is a chance or not… I really love him.
What do you think? Please HELP !

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 6:05 am

Hi Clemence,

Actually it wasn’t just one day.. He started being distant since December right? That’s good that you’re in the no contact period.. Do 21-30 days.. check this one:
EBR 024: Using Social Media To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

clemence

January 15, 2018 at 11:54 pm

Hi,

My boyfriend and I were together for 6 months (not a lot i know…) when he broke up with me completely out of the blue! Everything was going really well, we met each other’s family (he even came to France to visit mine). He invited me to his mom’s house for christmas where we spent 3 days together all fine. His family loves me and I had a great connection with his sisters. He also invited me to come to Mexico in April with his family so I booked my tickets 2 weeks before Christmas.
We both have very busy jobs and different schedules and we live an hour away from each other so we were able to meet only once or twice a week. Everything was perfectly fine but suddenly, on the 27th he went cold and distant with me, having no news for 2 days. I thought he wanted some time alone with his family so i let him alone but when he finally texted me 3 days later he was very distant, saying he was all over the place at the moment but I had nothing to do with it. I could feel that something was wrong. For new years eve he only texted me “happy new year”. I called him the next day asking what was going on and he said he needed to talked to me but wanted to do it face to face. He came to mine the next day saying that he felt we were not right for each other. He couldn’t explain it, just feel it…
He said he had feelings for me (more than just a friend), that I was great, I had all the qualities he likes in a girl, that everybody loves me and that he had a lovely time with me for the last 6 months but he didnt know who he was and where he will be in few years or what he will do… He said he couldn’t explain exactely why he felt that way but he felt that we were not right for each other….
I was completely devastated!!! I didm’t see anything coming… He comforted me for over an hour, i was crying but not begging, just trying to understand… He said he was sorry many many times, having to hurt me, that it was really difficult etc..
After he left, I didn’t text him and he texted me 4 days later asking how I was getting on. I didn’t want to ignore him but didn’t want him to think that we were friends (he said he would like to stay friends…). I said I was ok and asked how he was. Then he said that he has been thinking about me.I didnt reply to that part of the text but to other things he said (that his sister spoke to me and what I was thinking about doing with Mexico).
I want him back !! What should I do?? I dont have any news from him for 10 days now….. I miss him so much. Could he be confused/lost about our relationship and his feelings? (I told him I loved him at christmas… he said it wasn’t because of that, that he was questionning himself about it since beggining of december…).
I am so confused 🙁
Cleo

January 11, 2018 at 3:09 pm

,
My boyfriend and I have broken up (he broke it off). We eventually ended it respectfully. He has made clear he doesn’t want to get back together. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship at this moment of his life. He wants to focus on his own development, family and work. He doesn’t want to be with anybody right now (don’t know wether its true or not). However He has told me several times I should move on and he doesn’t want me to wait for him. He offered to be friends but I said thatd be hard for me right now. He understood and said its best to not contact him because it would be easier for me to get over him. This was all said in a caring, thoughtful manner. We even comforted each other during the talk. I was emotional, as in I cried (not hysterically). I wasn’t begging or pleading to get back together, as I don’t want to be the one in his way and stopping him from creating the life he wants and his happiness. I accepted it (it’s still hard). We even hugged before we said goodbye and we gave each other kisses on the cheek. I immediately went NC. I don’t want to contact him because I want to move forward, but I still want to get back with him at some point. I need to heal first and process everything. However I feel like it is impossible now because of the way we broke up. We were good to each other and ended it respectfully. he kept saying he isn’t going to change his mind, and he said he would rather say there isn’t a chance for us to get back together because he doesn’t want to give me false hope. I feel like he has made up his mind for forever, and there isn’t a chance we will end up together again. I feel like the fact he broke up with me and we ended it respectfully makes it all even much more harder to get back. Is it weird for thinking this way now? It feels like if we ended it in a bad way instead there would be a bigger chance to get back together easier. Is it true my chances are gone now? What do you recommend to do? I am on NC but it feels like its of no use since he told me to not contact him because it’d help me heal. He even recommended it. He knows im not going to contact him so how will NC increase my chances? He said several times we won’t get back together, and it wasn’t said in a heat of the moment, as we were respectful and caring towards each other. As for now I’m a bit lost to find a way in how to get back together eventually. Help?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 7:50 pm

HI Cleo,

Through your posts.. by human nature he will miss you because he’s used to talking to you and having you in his life.. so, he probably doesn’t expect to really stick to not talking to him, when he checks your accounts and he sees your posts, he has to see that you’re happy, healthy, improving and moving on in life.. make him regret in that way and attract him in that way too..

Ellie

August 25, 2017 at 11:58 am

Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me because he doesn’t feel the same anymore, he doesn’t want a relationship either. He still loves me, thinks I’m beautiful. People have told him he is lucky to have me.

So 3 months ago (may) he said he was having doubts about the relationship but then came back a week later and wanted to sort it out. After this things were amazing between us, we had our 2 year anniversary(mid June) he spent so much on me and we had the best time. A month after this we had a few arguments and he ended it again (start of July) . A week later he came back. Then 2 weeks we had an argument and he broke up with me the final time (mid July). He still took me for a birthday meal at the end of July and bought me presents and we got on so well that night buy at the end he still said he believes it’s for the best to go out seperate ways. I asked him why he has come back in the past and he said it’s because he does love me and keeps thinking he has made a mistake. So now it’s been a month since we broke up and for three weeks I cried and begged for him back on and off- he didn’t change his mind. I started no contact with him then accidentally called his number so he texted me saying ‘you call me?’ I didn’t reply so he text a question mark , I didn’t reply to that then he text me saying ‘Lol you are being funny’ so I did reply saying sorry wrong person then he didn’t reply.
If I leave him for a couple of months will he come back? We have never spent that much time away from eachother before so maybe he won’t realise what he had until its gone? If he still has feelings for me I don’t understand why he wouldn’t come back in the end 🙁 when I asked to meet him he said he does want to see me but it’s for the best not to! I’m just so confused I wish I could see into the future! When he is with me he seems so happy even though we do argue a fair bit. What shall I do? Do you think I still stand a chance if I act like I don’t care and act as if I have moved on? Or shall I just stop feeding myself false hope? Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 26, 2017 at 12:32 pm

Hi Ellie,

check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Told Me He Loves Me But Won’t Commit

Stacy

May 20, 2017 at 11:48 pm

So me and my ex were dating for 2 years and 3months , and he just called me and broke up with me … he continued to text and call me like nothing and I would reply because ofcourse I love him . I don’t see myself with no one else . And though he told me now we aren’t meant to be maybe in the future I would like someone to give me hope that will get back he wrote to me a couple of days and I didn’t reply isn’t been almost 2 weeks since our breakup and 3 days with the no contact rule … i don’t kno how long it’ll be before he tells me to get back but I wish it would be soon .

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 22, 2017 at 6:57 pm

approach it like he wont.. be an ungettable girl.. do at least 30 days.. dont just be silent and wait.. be proactive.. improve yourself and be active in posting and then slowly rebuild rapport after.. check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Tash

May 20, 2017 at 7:10 am

Hi Amor,

Thanks for the advice however is there anything else you can advice me on please? I don’t have the courage to speak to him again, especially after the couple of days. I know he has feelings for me, actions just speak it. It’s rather weird, he told me how beautiful I was the other day and kissed me. I don’t know. Shall I back off, no contact. What shall I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 21, 2017 at 6:48 pm

yeah, take time and have space for yourself..but in that time build courage, because the situation is not going to get better if you dance around it. You have to be clear with him.

Tash

May 19, 2017 at 12:58 pm

Mine is such a long story, going to cut it short. Me and my ex boyfriend broke up in September after 8 years. As I already said before, it was because of his parents not accepting for marriage as I spoke about our culture before. He blocked me, I lost my dignity. Tried no contact many times and failed however in January, I succeeded and in Feb he suggested we meet up for dinner. I had lost a lot of weight, I looked nice, you could tell he was blown away. He told me how depressed he was. He kissed me and We’ve been sleeping together, it’s like how it used to be, we will meet up once a week and go for dinner, like how date night used to. Anyway yesterday I told him I loved him and then he just said ok. And hugged me but because I’m on my time of the month, my mood is so bad, I just kept crying, couldn’t control my tears and then he says I love you too, I promise. He said he wasn’t lying. Then I asked him two hours later did he mean it. He goes he has loved me and will always love me but let’s not complicate things. I feel like I’ve made things worse. Anyway he was showing me something on his phone and this girl popped up, I don’t know if it’s a friend and etc but I didn’t say anything, just in case however can you please give me some advice in what to do. I don’t know if he’s speaking to someone new now or what. I can feel he loves me but I don’t know what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2017 at 10:58 pm

If you’re not officially together, that means your friends with benefits.. he’s already getting what he wants, why would he go back to the hassles of a committed relationship? If you really love yourself, don’t invest too much on someone who’s not willing to do the same for you.. I’m going to be honest.. Let’s say he has feelings for you, then don’t be easy. Make him work for you.. He has to prove his feelings for you because you’re an ungettable girl right? Have a serious talk. Say what you feel and then tell him what you want and tell him what you cant let on happening, which is sleeping with him and tell him why.. Value yourself because what you allow is what you will get.

Claudia

May 9, 2017 at 9:40 am

My bf and I just broke up due to a minor fight but he is seriously infuriated and finds me annoying. I got a full out block from him. I was just thinking whether he would reconsider this relationship despite the fact that he tried to get me out of his life. His parents and relatives like me so much and I have joined many of their family gatherings. Will they influence his thoughts? Thus, we are both the first love and we are young ( I am 18 he is 19). We had wonderful memories tgt but recently we kept arguing because he spent so much time in his college with his friends that did not plan to date me out for one month. While I just finished my high school waiting for the exam results. Well actually I just was thinking is it possible to seek a better ending between two of us or just move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 11, 2017 at 4:28 pm

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Jenny

April 5, 2017 at 11:40 am

Hello,
I was in a relationship with a guy till 2 years. Then I decided to break up due to some complications in my family. But when he asked for the reason of the breakup then I said I neede FREEDOM. However we were still very good friends, more than friends. It’s complicated, huh? Though he still told he loved me and I used to tell him I will still come back one day.
I felt he was trying to keep distance. He started to respond less to my texts. I asked him actually nagged him if he was in a relationship and asked about a girl who he used to call a sister. Later foundout they were not brother sister anymore and have possibility to mingle. That made me worse beacuse in that entire period he never told me that they had such kind of different relationship. I pleaded and begged. Once met in a party where I cried and he said he loved me still, he danced with me- made me thought we were together again. But he kicked me out the other day. I was asking my mutual fiends to make our things up that he did not like. At the end we ended with the big nasty dirty arguments. Here I dont know how to overcome. I don;t think he will return. He hates me. But I want him back so bad.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 5, 2017 at 7:26 pm

Hi Jenny,

are you going to do the no contact rule?

Jake

March 26, 2017 at 9:27 am

Hi,
My GF of over 4 years has recently come to me and said that we have changed a lot recently due to a few issues and now she wants to go her own way and doesn’t see a future for us. I haven’t been given any hope of making it work nor do I expect her to come straight back to me and change her mind. Could NC possibly help this situation? And if so what is the best way of doing this to win her back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 26, 2017 at 5:22 pm

Hi Jake,

Try at least 30 days of nc, be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media, and then initiate contact after to build rapport slowly..

Ellie

March 7, 2017 at 5:30 pm

So my boyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago because he felt he didnt want a relationship and because we had been good friends for a long time, he was hoping we could just be friends again. We didn’t talk for almost a month, during that time I continued to go to the gym (I’m very active), went on holiday and the photos were on social media. when I got back he messaged me to ask how it was, andd we had coffee a few days later. Coffee turned into dinner and a movie, and it felt very much like when we dated. He mentioned several times how much he missed me and how he’d thought of me, and how he really wanted to comment on my holiday photos etc. He texted me that night to tell me how much he’d enjoyed the evening. We haven’t spoken much since, just a few messages here and there. Can I swing this to get him back?

Ellie

March 12, 2017 at 12:08 pm

He’s started texting me just to chat and see how I am and we’re meeting next week for coffee. How should I approach this?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2017 at 8:19 am

the meet up? look your best and leave at high point too.. right now, initiate texts, use interesting topics and be the one to endit at high point. Follow the advice on the links below:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR 043: How To Handle The First Date With Your Ex Boyfriend
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 12:01 pm

Hi Ellie,

take it slow..keep improving yourself while slowly rebuilding rappor, even if you already met, start with texting first.

Abigail

February 24, 2017 at 9:14 am

So my boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. It was quite difficult to comprehend simply because everything was going well up until a certain point. His father not only passed away but his sister and brother-in-law moved back in with him and his mom. Since she was a very headstrong person I couldn’t truly get along with her; not to mention I made her extremely agitated (simply for sleeping in the guest room which happened to be her bed before she and her husband moved out). I tried my hardest to get along with her after the ordeal. The day my boyfriend broke up with me, he simply said “I can’t do this anymore” and when I asked for reasons, he simply said “You are guarded and I felt you weren’t there for me” I thought I was since I was with him every week, not to mention being there when his dad passed away. I did the NC rule for over a month now. I talked to my friend and she stated that she has indeed talked to him after the breakup. Over text, he stated that he broke up with me because I was guarded with his family, and stated “3 months is enough time to heal, she needs to learn to open up with my family” I was saddened because I was never guarded with his family, just one person (his sister). She was snapping at me over small things and it seemed like she didn’t want to talk to me. Everything was going well until they moved back in, and I felt like I messed up. He also stated to my friend that he was never coming back and was extremely defensive in the messages even though my friend was trying to reason with him, trying to reassure him that everyone has a guard and I just need more time to adjust. He just kept sending more defensive paragraphs about me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2017 at 3:48 pm

Hi Abigail,

it seems like he broke up with you because he thinks you’re not getting along with his family, and his family matters a lot to him. When did your friend asked him and how much did you improve during the no contact rule?

Tasmin

February 23, 2017 at 2:40 pm

Hi!
So my boyfriend and I were together for 5 years. (We began dating when we were 17, we’re both 22 now) He broke up with me 4 weeks ago, because he wanted to focus on his own things and didn’t felt enough motivation to keep up this relationship. (I think it’s because he’s not sure about his own future, we we’re both young when we got together and we never really needed to think about living together ect, but we were both coming to an age where we kinda wanted to get our own place and jobs)

He broke up with me 4 weeks ago. Kinda unexpeccted, really. We have so much in common and so much fun and future plans! Last time I spoke/saw him was 2 weeks ago, when bringing back his stuff. He told me he loved me and will always cared for me, he even said he’s sorry for doing this and we cried together.. So our break-up was.. A good one? No fights, just.. A friendly break-up.. So I know it’s hard for him too.
When I left I told him I would not contact him, since he wanted time. (Now I’m scared I kida screwed up the NC, since he knows I won’t contact him.. I didn’t know about the site yet.. Does that mess up my chance?)

I haven’t talked to him in two weeks, I been working on myself alot, lost 4kg already, new clothes, picked up some old friendships and even went on ‘dates’ with myself to boost my confidence! (Posting alot on social media too, he only has Facebook, so I don’t post too much, because I’m affraid he will unfriend me..)
I do have contact with his friends (They’re kinda my friends too now after 5 years) and they saw he never talks about the break-up and always says he’s ‘doing great’. All his friends tell me he just needs time, but they don’t doubt he’ll contact me sooner or later.

Only problem is that he is a real Alpha man, with alot of pride. I’m affraid he won’t ever contact me, because he’s too pride because he’s the one who dumped me.. His friends really want to help me to break down his pride.. But how do you deal with someone with so much pride? How do you convince him to contact me?

PS: I still have 2 weeks of NC to go, so I wait for that first, but I really want him to contact me first after the NC!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017 at 9:19 pm

Hi Tasmin,

that’s ok, he doesn’t know how long you’re going to be doing no contact. It’s ok if he doesn’t contact you too, you can initiate after nc. Just be the one ending the conversations at high point.

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