Will He Come Back If You Stop Chasing Him? Yes, Here's Why

320 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Stop Chasing Him?”

Pu

December 9, 2017 at 1:39 pm

We broke up 4 months ago (in Aug) only via a text from my ex said that he wanted to stop here cuz he’s not happy with the relationship and didn’t love me anymore, he also need to focus on other plans (we argued too much during 2 years together that made him too tired, and most of them are because of my personality). Up to now, we haven’t seen each other. I tried to convince him that I can change or at least I need a talk in person to make everything clear but he refused all. Then he asked me to be in the NC in 1 month and after that we could get back, but I broke the rule (at that time I didn’t know about how the NC works). After the NC, he had his decision of going away and I couldn’t do anything to change his mind. But it’s not only a hard time for me but also for him. He felt so bad, couldn’t sleep and drink too much. I thought that I could advise him to be better so I texted him but I was wrong, it made him feel worse. At that time I informed him that I won’t annoy him until he finish his exam (in Nov) and started my NC. Up to now we haven’t contacted over 2 months, so I’m not sure if I should do something because I don’t think he will be the one who contact me first.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 1:59 am

Hi Pu,

how much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting in social media?

Becky

December 9, 2017 at 9:55 am

Hi, so, I’m not sure what is best in my situation. I did no contact, was planning on 30 days but ended up talking to my ex at 26 days because we talked about exchanging items. He started chasing me and coming on very strong but I managed that for the first two weeks, until he invited me round to hang out. We started to have sex but I stopped it and said I couldn’t because I need to be in a relationship for that. I then found out that he’d been sleeping with other women very regularly and hadn’t used protection with me, even though I’d stopped it. He said he was clean and used protection with the other women but the whole situation upset me a lot. We argued and then talked it through.

He said that he’d been aiming to get back with me but it was impossible and we argue too much and we should never talk to each other again. I said we should just stay as friends and eventually he agreed. We said we should work on our communication and the problems we have that make us argue. Should I restart no contact or do a mini no contact and then build rapport? I feel like I chased him because I admitted I had feelings for him still.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 1:55 am

Hi Becky,

yup, do a mini nc..

Dawn

December 9, 2017 at 1:43 am

This guy and I seen each other for 2 years but not exclusively. Long story short, he wasn’t willing to commit and I stayed through the good and the bad. He finally commuted to a girl that knew nothing of his past and it wasn’t me. 7 months later he still refuses to let me out of his life. Telling me how important I am to him and he needs us to stay friends. He doesn’t want to lose me. I know there’s some level of feelings and he won’t see me for fear of doing something he regrets. We text every single day, all day long but then he stays the night at her place. Im beyond hurt, ive told him i cant be friends but he’s very persistent in texting me everyday. I don’t understand it or know what to do. I’m starting NC and could really use a male perspective on where he’s coming from.
Beverly ward

December 8, 2017 at 11:51 pm

So 16 years and around 3 months relationship in October he leaves me for his first love to see how it will go our love was true and unconditional love he says he has a different kind of love with her the same day he left me he moved in with her and her family she is married still in November was was talking and he was flirting with me and I guess I put my foot in my mouth could not stop telling him how I felt and then SHE tells him he can’t be around me anymore unless she is there so now he’s not talking again and I still think I have a chance he came to a family thing on Thanksgiving and even told someone there he was going to go back to me if it doesn’t work out with HER and I want him back but don’t want to be second choice

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 3:13 pm

Hi Beverly,

Check this one:
My Boyfriend Says He Wants To Date Me and Another Girl

V

December 8, 2017 at 1:44 pm

I ended it 11 days ago with this guy. I met him online via a language exchange website (he was learning English and I wanted to practice my Spanish). We started talking in January and talked every single day since day one and then we fell in love with each other despite the distance (I’m in Manila, he’s in Buenos Aires) and the age difference (I’m 30 and he’s 23). We talked and shared about everything in our lives. We even had plans of being together for real and maybe starting a family. I went away for a month to Europe (Germany and Spain) and he was always there talking to me. We were gonna meet up in Madrid but it didn’t happen because there were problems with his flight. When I got home to Manila, it was his turn to be away for a month to learn Italian in Rome and that’s when things got bad. We talked less and less and I got so clingy. He said he didn’t have the time to read my messages, but that he reads them when before he goes to bed at night. The first time I ended it, I blocked him on WhatsApp and Instagram but then talked to him again the next day. He has the tendency to get cold and so we agreed to do it again slowly but then we almost never talked anymore. I would see him online on WhatsApp but he almost never talked to me. It became worse and so I ended it. In the end I didn’t say nice things to him. I haven’t reached out since then and he blocked me too on WhatsApp. But honestly, I want a second chance.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 10:11 am

Hi Virginia,

Honestly, it’s a small chance because you’re ldr, he’s young and immature.. Check this one:
If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together

Felicity

December 8, 2017 at 4:47 am

How did I ever live without this website? Seriously could have used this in the last two years.

Long story short my ex an I were together about 5 months. I’m 26, he’s 30. He came out of the blue, totally unexpected. I honestly haven’t met anyone who has ever made me so happy and laugh so much. Basically, he came with some baggage – a child – which is completely fine, but worse than that…his finance left him a week before their wedding and took their child across the other side of the country.

We had a great time together, but even after a month or so it was clear he had a real issue with commitment. Not that he never wanted to be in a relationship again, but more that he never wanted to go through another break up and was kind of scared from his experience. Fair enough…what wasn’t fair was even 4 months or so into our relationship he was still sleeping with other people.

I’ve never been in a situation like it and he was totally open and honest about it so I went along with it. For a while it was okay…but when we spent every waking minute together, getting more serious and going away together, I realised I couldn’t go on like that. To be honest, the way he acted was that we were 100% in a relationship – everything he did in his actions pointed to this. As you can imagine, I was surprised every time I learned that he wasn’t 100% exclusive, despite what he had originally told me.

I was the girl that tried to change the guy, despite knowing he couldn’t and ended up heartbroken. It go too much and eventually we broke up – he said he couldn’t promise me he would ever change and that was enough for me.

I did 30 days NC. He contacted me once to apologise and asked me to understand his situation. That he never meant to hurt me. I didn’t reply and he didn’t try contacting me. I was lucky when it came to day 30, I had planned everything I was going to say, I had worked on me and got back into shape. We didn’t delete each other of social media, but he watched every story I ever posted, and liked every photo I put up on Instagram. After contacting him, he spent the next week texting me every two days. Asking questions.

Building rapport was hard, and there were times of miscommunication. He asked me a couple of times into the first two weeks or so of talking again to catch up. I think I was a little blunt in my answers of saying no, not yet. He didn’t really respond much a few times here and there. Or I would start a conversation with him and he would only give one positive answer and would just stop replying.

Eventually we built up a good call rapport and I agreed to catch up. He seemed really excited about it and picked me up from work. We were in the middle of pay week so we decided to save some money and I would cook for us – his favourite thing. It was an amazing night, we laughed a lot and joked. Initially he tired to bring up the break up and I waved it off – not wanting to get into that sort of this. He asked me over and over again if I was seeing anyone and I told him the truth, no, but that I was happy and having fun. He said he didn’t believe me, but meh.

And here’s my mistake…my one weakness after all the good I’ve done. We got pretty hammered and I asked him to kiss me. He told me no, that it wasn’t a good idea…Now I never take no as an answer and eventually convinced him…then convinced him to stay the night even though he was reluctant…then we slept together. I know! BIG NO NO. I knew my mistake the second I woke up.

The only issue in our 5 month relationship was that I was always pushing for his commitment, and every time I did he freaked out. And he I was, pushing him again! Don’t get me wrong, he would kiss me and say it was a bad idea, but he wanted it just as badly as I did…but I should have stayed strong. If I hadn’t of done anything it would have been a great night.

What’s worse is that in the morning, he couldn’t get out of there quick enough. He isn’t working much at the moment, and had the day off so he had no where to be…he claimed to have a headache (he did look quite ill and we drank A LOT), but complained about traffic and kind of shook off any mention I made of catching up on the weekend (whereas while cooking dinner he agreed and was excited).

I was so ashamed (and hung) yesterday I didn’t message him, but today I gave in and cleared the air. He was responsive at first, but when I made a bit of a sexual flirty joke he didn’t reply. It’s always how i’ve talked, but now? I’m freaking out.

Things I know – nothing has really changed…he still has his fear of locking himself down to one girl (grass is greener syndrome to the MAX). The only way things will change is when he can trust again, and no matter what I say or do, he needs to figure that out for himself.

What I am scared of is that I have lost his respect, that I pushed just like in our relationship. I think he thinks I’m a bit clingy now and chasing him. I feel devalued and definitely not the unbeatable girl.

Please help!!! Is there any hope for us? I’m at the final stages and now I have no idea how to act or what to do, especially after what happened on our date. Do you have any examples of how long getting back together could take?

Sorry for the length… definitely not short.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 9:52 am

Hi Felicity,

Check this one:
How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him

Kimberly Thomas

December 8, 2017 at 12:53 am

So Sunday I had his laptop to finish up my work. I send myself emails from his so I can get stuff done faster. I saw in his email one from his ex mind you it was 8 months ago but he hid it from me. He told me before he had no problem with his ex however why didn’t you tell me? He is in my phone constantly when I have something. I show him my phone. He shows me his. However I brought it we were already in a slight disagreement because I felt like he was being fake nice after I tried last night to make an effort after he was being rude so he gave his laptop. He wrote me after I left saying. You had a bad attitude and you couldn’t even say thank you. Blah blah blah. I explained my side and nothing found this out and told him. He called me crazy and stuff. He blocked me on Snapchat and from his phone. He was supposed to get his stuff Sunday after work. Never came. I called him blocked number and he just sat on the phone didn’t say anything. I went to his house to give him his stuff and he didn’t answer the door. I heard him inside and nothing. Called again. Same thing sat on the phone. Now today I woke up in tears calling calling no answer. Sent him an email from his so he will get it no answer. In your opinion are we over? I apologized for calling him names I was just mad and for going through his stuff no answer. When we have been soo good and now this. This is our biggest fight. He has never blocked me on Snapchat before and I have no way of contacting him✓
i sent an email. He said that right now dating out the picture and we can be cool however I spoke to a psychic this morning and it was spot on and she was saying ignore him for awhile. He loves you. He is hurt right now. If he really was feeling like that why is he avoiding me so hard and haven’t came to get his stuff??✓
I tried everything I could. I think I fucked up because I went to his house last night and he was like wtf are you doing here. I’m not fucking with you right now. Like he was really mad. He’s been saying for 3 days is coming to get. I literally was waiting and he ignored me calls. However he was sleeping but like why is he avoiding me like the plague. I’ve let him alone since last night and haven’t called once today. I saw him today at our university and he didn’t look at me when he was talking and was saying that he doesn’t want to date me anymore. He’s not gonna change his mind and wasn’t even paying me any type of attention. Then when he was walking away he was like we can be cool I’ll still come over and blah blah. I’m not dealing with this drama.✓ But what I’m not understanding is you did it! You went behind my back and started the argument. You can’t even sit down and just talk to solve the issue. Once we talk we never have the same problem anymore. I really just feel like it’s all my fault for his mistake. I’ve apologized. Left him alone for couple days. Everything
Than he emailed me 3 hours ago asking where I’m at. & he needs his stuff before he leaves. I didn’t reply. I really need help right now

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 9:39 am

Hi Kimberly,

Restart the count of nc after you give him his stuff

Marissa

December 7, 2017 at 10:23 pm

I’m confused. I have been reading a large amount of comments on different posts and somehow after no contact, EVERYONE seems to get a PASSIVE response along with an “I hope you’re doing well”. Can such a long no contact backfire? Can it make your ex comfortable with the idea of losing you instead of longing for your attention?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 9:30 am

Hi Marissa,

It depends.. Losing you was already in the mind of the guy if he broke up with you..he wouldn’t break up if he didn’t really want to lose you in the first place..

Jack

December 7, 2017 at 9:30 pm

i hope u can help me understand me and my relationship of my ex. Well i have my daughter i left her dad this year and got with my new bf on february. Things were great i finally was happy and in love. But my daughters father was causing me drama and things started going bad between me and my bf. Then he decided to file for custody for my child. And things got bad between me and my bf i started getting depressed and was taking my anger out on him. And breaking up with him for no reason. So he got fed up and broke up with me. Also me and my bf had our own problems but i always stayed thru good and bad times. So i tried working things out with him and said he moved on and that he didnt love me anymore because of the way i acted. So he was being mean pushing me away saying all this stuff. So im hurt but im letting him go. But when we were together i couldnt open up exactly why i was such a way with him because i didnt know how to open up. When we were together one night a guy took advantage of me but thanks to God he saved me and was able to escape. So i finally decided to let him go and accept that we are done. I just needed closure so i told em what happened and for him not to feel sorry for me and think i want him back. I respect we were done. So i told em and he came to see me and told me he wanted to be there that why didnt i open up. And he came to see me that night laid down and hugged me. Then he came the next day and same thing hugged me and kissed me on the head. I told him he doesnt have to text me or see me just because of what happened to me. But he said no i wna see you and text you. So we kept texting everyday and he would flirt with me and then started sending me videos of our memories we had. I guess he still has em and told me he still has everything i gave him. I was like oh okay nice. Then he would call and facetime me. But not once we spoke about our relationship. Then he came again and we ended up hooking up. So im so confused because he told me wanted to be friends but is sending me mixed signals. And he knows i love him so idk why would he do that. He says hes moved on and that we arent getting back. I honestly dont know what he wants. So i told em that lets just stop talking and not to worry about me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 9:19 am

Hi Jack,

He probably still has feelings.. How long have you been talking now and are you going to do nc?

Faith

December 7, 2017 at 4:36 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me about one month ago. During this period i have begged, told him how much i miss him and miss us via whatsapp and facebook messages but not a single response. He has been ignoring me. Sent him a message of how i was bereaved of my brother in law and a week later i was attacked by hoodlums all within this one month period yet no response at all.
I just started the 30 day no contact rule and at my day 5.
I am dong good so far because in this one month i have had to not contact him for some days but the max i got to was four days and something important like the losses i experienced came up and i had to reach out to him.

i am resolved to complete the 30 day no contact period
Anna

December 7, 2017 at 9:54 am

My ex broke up with me at the end of October after 2 and a half years. I went into no contact for 3 weeks and reached out to him. We spoke for a while but he made it clear we weren’t getting back together. He even told me he was happier and liked someone else. I told him I loved him and I was going to let him go and that’s the last time I spoke to him a few days ago. He seems really into this girl and told me he doesn’t love me anymore. Do I still have a chance? I’m improving myself and posting on social media. If I don’t contact him at all and stay in NC until he contacts me will that work too? I don’t want to contact him and get rejected again because it’s too painful. If I stay away will he come back even if he wants me to stay away? Is he really over me after being broken up for just over a month? I don’t know what to think please help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 8:37 am

Hi Anna,

There’s no guarantee in any situation that nc will make your ex come back..it just helps increase your chances..

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320 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Stop Chasing Him?”