Is My Ex Regretting The Breakup? 4 Clear Signs They Do

130 thoughts on “Will My Ex Regret Breaking Up With Me?”

Isha

January 1, 2020 at 3:53 am

Hi, me and my ex broke up 9 days ago. We were together for 8 months and had decided we would marry. The first 6 months were amazing but as soon as his 4th year uni started we got distant. We would hardly meet but we would text throughout the day. This caused problems and I became a bit pushy. I’ve dumped him 3 times but each time went back and he accepted. The third time I dumped him was a week before our exams which I admit was awful of me. I went back to him after a few days but this time he said no. That the mental stress of uni and the relationship was too much. But I know he loved me a lot (don’t know if he still does). I did ask him for another chance and begged he wouldn’t budge and got angry stating all cons. It’s now been 5 days I’m doing no contact – we work at the same place in the same team. He’s been off work for 2 months due to uni stress but he will be back next week. How should I behave at work? I really love him a lot and want him back. Please help

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 3, 2020 at 6:46 am

Hi Isha, so it sounds like you actually could do with a break from each other if only to miss each other. Spending some time following the no contact rule will help give your ex some head space and think about what it is he wants just as much as it will you. It is a stressful time in your career as you are both going through exams in university so take this time to be selfish and focus on yourself and your studies. Reaching out when the exams are over

Ella

December 21, 2019 at 10:20 pm

Dated a guy for 3 months going on 4. Everything was going smoothly. We talked everyday even with our busy/stressful careers. (Physician, social worker) theres a 7 year age gap. Me being younger…if that matters… we hung out atleast once a week and when we did we had an amazing time. Made plans for new years out of town ( 10 days from today) and we had a plan to hang out 2 days after the last time we hung out…..well all of a sudden he cancelled our plans and I was upset and expressed this with him since we planned this weekend to go to this farm a month ago and he just came at me telling me that he doesnt think this will work out, we can be friends but not in a relationship, went on to say I don’t make his heart happy and there will never be a future, he doesnt feel like he can be himself around me, and theres also things about me he doesnt like, and that I should find a manlier man and that he doesnt wanna lead me on anymore.even though he just invited me out of the state 2 days prior! Which I also expressed to him. I even asked if their was anything we can do to try and make it work because I grew to like him and he said he doesn’t want to and no…..I’m so broken and confused. Hes the first man I’ve ever actually been myself with and hes also the first guy to ever leave me. I feel so worthless and like I’m not enough. I havent eaten these past few days. And I cant help but think this is coming from something or somewhere else. But I’ll never know. I’m just hanging on to his harsh last words and it hurts. I made my peace and told him hes amazing and that everything happens for a reason and I wish him well and to take care. But it still doesnt make it easy. I wish when he said it wouldnt work out I would have just said okay and stopped texting and deleted him. Not look like a fool and ask if theres anything we can do, now I feel weak…. .I’m so hurt….beyond words…. not sure why but it hurts worse than my previous 5 year relationship maybe because it came out of the blue with no warning signs from his side….idk anymore.
Lynn Bocca

December 14, 2019 at 8:41 pm

Hi Chris,
Ok, here’s a tricky one for you. My ex and I had been living together for almost 3 years. During that time he was going to school and not paying any bills. In August he finally got his first professional job, in October I asked him if he couldnstart contributing to the household now, this request led to an argument where some ugly things were said. The next few days he bought groceries, cooked dinner etc. On day 3 when I thanked him for contributing he said he had moved some things to his parents earlier that day. I apologized but he said he was going. Over the next 4 weeks he was at our house almost all the time and things were good and normal with the exception of spending a few nights at his parents. He seemed to be texting alot, so one night i found his Tinder profile, I took a screenshot, and sent it to him. His response was “I am at a loss after almost 10 years together. The love is there, but the compatibility is not.” However, the next day he we were still texting I love you, went to a movie together etc. Another week goes by and (as I later found out) he went on a Tinder date, which was a disaster. He came to my house that night and spent the next several days there. Day 4 he gets upset because I was busy and could not lend him my car to go to class 50 miles away. He doesnt talk to me for several days but then starts going to a club 50 miles away, every single night til 2 AM. ( when he lived with me he often fell asleep on the couch by 10), but would come sleep with me almost everynight. He was continously hot and cold. On Thanksgiving he came to the house and told me he loved me but couldnt be with me because I was to mean.(It shoild be noted that since his “move out” I did things like beg him to be with me, sent him lists everyday of what I loved about him (since he had said he felt unappreciated) etc. Again he was hot and cold could be days,could be min, I had no idea what he would be any given second and it was dricing me nuts. Last week he again asked to borrow my car for class. I let him. When he returned he ran in calling me a crazy B saying I followed him (I did not). The previous day he had logged onto his email from my computer and I am now wondering if somehow it may look as if I could see his personal info, which is what he meant by following. Anyways after the breakdown of screamig and storming out he blocked me on FB and phone/text. I have now held to the NC for 7 days. Im fairly certain he may still be pursuing women on Tinder. Shoild I just throw in the towel on this one since it seems to have really deteroriated since he initially left?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 15, 2019 at 11:00 pm

Hey Lynn, it seems like he got comfortable you providing for him financially and not sharing the bills. So the fact that he argued with you when you asked him to start contributing is not fair! So take not of his behavior and do not blame yourself for the way he has not only moved out once you asked him to chip in with the house bills, also been cheating as he has been on tinder and a date while you are still together!

If you want this guy back then you need to start with a no contact and read as much as you can about your situation on this website and make sure you understand the work you need to put in so that you are following the process properly.

Zahira I Alicea

December 2, 2019 at 5:46 pm

My boyfriend and I had an argument and it escalated to a fight were we called my crazy and inmature. We are both 54 years old and this is the first time that we have a big fight like that. I was offended and went to his house and took my belongings and went to my house ( we don’t live together). We havent called or texted each other since then. I would like to have an opportunity to talk and probably get him back. I am confused because there was no “official” breakup. What now? Should I continue with the no contact rule?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 4, 2019 at 9:14 pm

Hi Zahira, so yes continue your no contact and reach out to him when its been 30 days in a friendly way the explosive break up is hard to get them open to talking to you at first so it may take a few attempts to get him talking to you again

Leigh

December 1, 2019 at 8:15 pm

My ex BF and I broke up one week ago today. We have broken up about 3 other times, and our recent stint was going really well, he would comment on how much happier we seemed and that I was doing really good and then he broke up with me after an argument. He said he doesn’t feel like I want to spend time with him very much. I moved all of my stuff out and I’m assuming he is getting the rest of his stuff in the next few days. We’ve never broken up and went this far as to both moving out. In the past I would beg him back, and after a couple weeks we would try again. I did beg this time for a couple days, he just keeps telling me no, and to stop because he doesn’t want to keep going over and over it again. I am 3 days into no contact and I’m having a very hard time not contacting him. I changed my number also so that I wouldn’t keep looking for him to call or text me. My question is should I ask him nonchalantly about something so he will have my number or wait until NC is over to let him know my number. He doesn’t do social media, and he knows my work schedule so he could call me at work if he wanted to. I’m curious if changing my number signaled to him that I am really done this time or if he is wondering about me, scared it’s really over or glad to not be hearing from me. I’m really hurt and confused.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 6, 2019 at 8:07 pm

Hi Leigh you should stick with your No Contact and wait until it is over before reaching out

Lola mar

November 28, 2019 at 11:27 pm

My ex and I broke up 3 months ago. I did no no contact for a months and a half. We were dating 4 years and this is our second broke up. I reach out for his birthday but didn’t got any response. After that he unfollowed me on Instagram. He did a new Facebook and also he deleted my number but he knows it by heart. I saw him pass by and he didnt even said hi. Our broke up wasnt bad even though he broke up with me. After his birthday I decided to do no contact a bit more. I got a new job and confidence is much better because I was needy at the end of the relationship so I feel so much great now. I decide to reach out once again yesterday with a ” I have a confession to make” text to see if he would answer but he didnt once again. I don’t understand why he isnt replying. I feel that he doesn’t wants anything to down me and also that he have moved one. I don’t why how I can get him to speak to me. I’m now confused because it’s like the no contact didnt work towards him talking but yes to make me a better person. I dont know if this is it and just give up and move on. Help need an advice please.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 10:18 pm

Hi Lola you need to look up what we call Ungettable Girl, and do the work that this explains to do, while in No Contact, if you have reached out 3 times and had no resposne you need to do another no contact.

Andriana

November 18, 2019 at 12:57 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me more than a week ago and we ended on good terms. It was an impulsive decision and he didn’t use the word breakup but insisted on we aren’t right for each other at this moment. I tried the no contact rule but two days after the breakup he reached out to me, in a manner that was even more attentive than before. He checked in more frequently than before, the conversation was more light than before, he tried to bring up lots old memories, he replied more quickly (almost immediately) than before …. I sometimes even received some selfies and what interesting things were going on in his life. However, we haven’t met in person by far after the breakup. I initiated once by saying I want to see you but there was no following up. Does he want us get back together or it’s just a sign we would be just friends?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 23, 2019 at 12:37 pm

Hi Andriana, so you need to complete a proper NC and not reply to him when he reaches out all youre doing is reassuring him that you are there if he wants you. You need to make him feel the fear of loss. Stop replying to him for a minimum of 30 days and work on yourself for some time. Be social with your friends but avoid being where he is for some time. Posting to social media about the fun and exciting things you are doing, and even post subtle jealousy posts where he will worry you could be dating someone else. The most important thing. DO NOT REPLY TO HIM FOR 30 DAYS IN TOTAL. NO MATTER WHAT. Unless he direct asks you to get back together, do not answer him.

Fahima

November 12, 2019 at 4:53 pm

Hey Chris!
So my bf of 3 years have been on an on-off relationship. I recently broke up with him, it’s almost a week since I broke up with him. Honestly, I love him so much and I know he loves me too but we’re somehow toxic 🙁 especially when we get mad and start arguing we tend to hurt each other’s feelings and say some rude stuff but at the end of the day we still love each other. It got to a point I was fade up with us arguing and I had to breakup with him, tho I promised him I’ll never ever leave him again but I left again for the 3rd time Now I miss him so much and I wanna get back together but I feel like he’s done and he’s tired of me always giving up on our relationship when it gets tough. What should I do? Cause I texted him a few minutes ago wanting to talk to him on the phone, he said he’ll call later I’m waiting for him to call but I had to pour my feelings here hoping you’ll advice me on this situation. I love him but we tend to hurt each other sometimes

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 12, 2019 at 8:39 pm

Fahima, so your issue is that you and he dont communicate the right way when you are having a disagreement about something, so if you are to get back together you need to find couples therapy who is going to help you both learn how to speak to one another when you are not happy with something. On and off relationships tend to get back together again without an issue. The keeping together bit is the problem. This is why you need to seek some counselling for how to communicate as a couple

Taranpreet

November 11, 2019 at 5:39 pm

I had a one year relationship. My girlfriend broke up with me because she wasnt able to go deep with her feelings and she said she knew she could go more she wasnt able to do that. Then she said the feelings of her kind of became stable at some point. And then when things were happening somewhere the feelings began to decrease and then she didnt wanted to hurt me as i was providing her with everything and loved her.. and the guilt of not able to reciprocate was eating her. I conviced her a lot, cried everything i did. But she said she didnt want a relationship. But she feels the feelings are increasing or she regrets it she will come back. And also somewhere in her head she thinks i still always there for her. She also said she sometimes felt suffocated and alone at my house when we were together. I really want her back and please tell me what to do.. we hadnt talked from 8 days. But have been snaping.. will she ever realise? Will she ever regret..? Will she ever come back

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 12, 2019 at 8:15 pm

To give yourself your best chance, you need to follow the program and work on yourself during your NC

Prudentia

November 8, 2019 at 12:34 pm

Hi Chris,
I dated my ex for 8years,we were engaged to be married this December and I broke up with him 2days ago. We have had so much in the relationship the past years,he would cheat,lie and break promises over a countless times and I forgave. We’ve been on an on and off relationship since our engagement this year,I’m talking about 3months without touching each other. I revecently live in town and he lives on the other side of the block, he recently came to me and apologised,that he doesn’t know why he keeps treating me this way.We had agreed to get a new place and stay together again as I had refused to go back to our previous one, I feel neighbors won’t respect me anymore,for what I had put up with in front of them in particular. He promised to get the place 3days ago,and that we would move in together,he asked me not to go to work,so we could do the packing and moving together,I didn’t. That very same day,he didn’t call at the time he said he would so we could move,he didn’t answer my calls and didn’t get back to me, until 4hours later when he left a message on my voicemail to prove he’s in a session and he would call me right after that. It was then that I sent him a message,and told him I couldn’t continue with the relationship anymore,because this is not the first time he make promises and on the day to fulfil them,he disappears,doesn’t call,doesn’t text and keeps ignoring me. His actions always leave me frustrated and very hurt,he says he loves me,he wants to make me his wife but his actions say otherwise. I am really fed up,because all I’ve ever been was being an honest partner to him,and he keeps dissapointing me. We broke up for over a million times since we’ve been together,and it’s because of the things he was doing to me that I always dumped him. The wedding date is around the corner,and I don’t even see it happening because his actions are not as convincing. I asked Him to come with me to church about 4times,he promised and never did,I asked him to go for therapy with me,he indirectly refused,I asked that we talk to someone he’s comfortable talking to then,that he refused too. I have tried all I could,I feel like I’m the only one who wants this relationship,who’s committed to us. Please help,what can I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 8, 2019 at 9:12 pm

Hey Prudentia, I sugget letting him go through therapy and keeping to NC during that time as he needs to work out why he is treating you this way. You need to do the work to be the Ungettable girl and learn your worth and what you are willing to accept from someone and how many times youre going to forgive him. The information about how to be Ungettable is on the website through articles and YouTube videos too

Frigga

November 3, 2019 at 9:50 pm

I am very active in social media, so playing the UG is not working as well as it should because he is used to it. I’m starting NC. If I close (temporary) one of my accounts would it be worse or would make him miss me? Because even during the periods we talk less, he sees me so active in social media that the “missing” part doesn’t work, I’m always “there”. So I thought of going off one of my apps for a few weeks (not only for him but for myself, because some things there are killing me and awakening my insecurities and jealously). But I don’t know if that would be worse because “out of sight / out of mind”. But as I said, seeing me there (even as UG) doesn’t help to make him miss me…
What would you recommend?
Thank you a lot.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 9, 2019 at 4:42 pm

Hi Frigga, so if you are normally a very active person on social media you need to become a less active member, one or two posts a week and they need to be 100% UG so they grab attention. Being UG is not only the social media side of things its a mentality and a way of life so read up on the concept and even plan out the things that you think our life needs working on. And do that. And a break from social media now and again is good for our mental rest too

Ann

November 2, 2019 at 11:52 am

He dumped me on the 1st and he was real kind about it. He dumped me seemingly out the blue but he said he had been thinking for a week about all the arguments we had had in our relationship and he realised he never got over them. He said that what I had said 5 days prior to that (that his room was really dirty and he should take more effort when I’m coming because were long distance and when we see each other he should make an effort as I do) made him see that he could no longer be himself around me. He broke up with me the exact same way his best friend broke up with his girlfriend. I asked him if he fell out of love with me before those 5 days he had been thinking of leaving me, and he said no. I was so happy and I wasn’t expecting this. He said he was really sorry and that he never wants to be with me again. He deleted our shared album And began following the girl he was previously flirting with, on social media. I’m contemplating whether I should block and unfollow him from everything. I begged hard. He’s broken up with me 3 times and I always beg and I begged this time too but he didn’t change his mind. I have absolutely no desire to call or text him because I’m simply too humiliated. But should I unfollow him? Is this man purely done with me? Is his best friend influencing him? What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 2, 2019 at 10:57 pm

1 – Only you can decide if you want him back or not so until then I cant tell you what you should do
2 – There is a chance his friends have influence on how he ended things, but it is not his friend making him do it, this will have been his decision
3 – At this moment in time it will seem like he is happy its over, but that is very much normal for a newly single guy, his true feelings will show in time. But you need to make sure you are doing a minimum of 30 days No Contact and dont reply to him if he reaches out either
4 – I wouldn’t recommend unfollowing or unfriending if you want to get him back, if you want to move on then yes i would remove all sight of him while youre working on getting over him.

Anna

October 10, 2019 at 6:45 am

My ex and I broke up because I felt him getting distant with me and I heard that he was cheating i confronted him and he got so upset and started spilling out that he has another girl so i left and that was that until I broke down every time I saw him because we have a son together.After a couple weeks after the break up when he comes to check on his son he would be wanting to play with as if we were still great friends I stopped texting him and stopped calling him and just focussed on my school and my son after that I now see him calling often than before saying hes checking if his sons okay.
Stacey

October 2, 2019 at 4:05 pm

Hi,
My ex left me about 4 months ago now. We have 2 kids together were engaged and brought a house last year. He now wants to sell the house. He isn’t interested in reconciliation at all. He tells me he doesn’t love me and we will never get back together. That I should just move on like he is.
He is seeing a 19 year old who he used to work with, he is 30 in November and I had stuff planned but that’s not gonna happen so am also losing money. He tells me that even if he got feelings back for me he wouldn’t act on them. That we are finished and that is that. He told me he didn’t want anymore kids but yesterday was more than happy to have more in the future. It broke me completely. I don’t know what else to do he isn’t interested in me at all. And from the looks of things is trying to remove me completely from his life. If it wasn’t for the kids I’d say he would have been long gone. He says he wasn’t happy in our relationship but didn’t tell me that until 2 months after the breakup when he was seeing that girl. I’m just so lost, I don’t know what to do or where to turn. Any advice?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 2, 2019 at 7:27 pm

Hi Stacey, so you need to work on completing a full limited no contact where you only speak to him about the children and their welfare. So the best thing for you to do is work on making your life better “without him” and where it shows you’re managing without him around etc. I know this is hard. While he has the other woman around you need to do the being there method after your no contact is over. Basically your goal is to become the Ungettable Girl then hell start to regret his decision. He has to say the horrible things he does to you, mainly to prove to himself. So try not to take it personally hes being selfish at this time and will say hurtful things to justify his actions

Nicolette Yvette Raske

October 1, 2019 at 5:02 am

Hi Chris I’ve been reading your blogs listening to your pod casts.
Along with watching your utube videos they have been very helpful.
Me and my ex boyfriend live together and have been broken up .
For 2 months it’s been very hard I have cryed alot .
On my own at first I was begging crying and pleading for him to come back.
However I stopped doing that he recently told me .
That he feels regret for breaking up with me .
Saying maybe he could have tried harder to make it work.
He is however dating someone else and has been for 2 months .
I still love this man very much and want him back.
I have started making improvements in my life .
I recently updated my wardrobe got a new style and high lights.
I have also been posting new pictures of myself .
On social media and he is liking my pics and is noticing the changes.
But I still love him and want him to come back to me .
Can you give me any advice that might be helpful .

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 1, 2019 at 8:30 pm

Hi Nicolette, so you’re doing all the right things and its just about how you start conversations with him that matter now. Reaching out with the texts Chris recommends to get him talking, the hooks, curiosity texts and the self interest types of messages that you need to plan and send strategically to work yourself back up the Value Chain

Kim

September 22, 2019 at 12:28 pm

Hi ! My boyfriend left me 2 and a half months ago, by text message, not making anything clear for about 3 weeks. In those 3 weeks, he started seeing another girl and is still with her today. We have been together for over 5 years, we have so much together, we have a 23 month old daughter and…… one on the way. He left me when I was 11 weeks pregnant. (Both our children were conceived through fertility treatments) The girl he is seeing is younger than me, into a lot of things he likes (he met her at a gym) and now he changed his entire circle of friends to be with her friends instead. He’s changed drastically. Obviously living this pregnancy alone, not knowing where I will live (our house is for sale) not knowing what I will do financially (we had plans to open a daycare) I am freaking out and I have been the « crazy ex girlfriend » until now… he shows no signs whatsoever of wanting to get back with me, he’s always with the other girl, she lives with her parents so she’s always at his house (he’s living in the house he bought for the eventual daycare, which is 10 minutes from my house so I pass by all the time and I always see her there) it’s heartbreaking. While he’s with another girl, I’m alone feeling our unborn baby move. I have no idea how to get over this, or how to make him want to come back even though I can’t make him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 23, 2019 at 5:38 pm

Kim, I am so sorry you’re going through this! So you have to complete a limited NC where you only speak about the well being of the children and shared responsibilities. If I was you, Id focus on getting your living arrangements and financial situation fixed before worrying about them two. Them spending so much time together is not healthy and it will cause problems soon enough. As it is new it will be still in the “honeymoon” phase. So focus on you and your little family having a safe and secure life for now. Thats being a UG Mamma right now!

Marie

August 31, 2019 at 3:17 pm

My ex broke up with me 12 days ago, it was an impulse decision on his part, and he suffers from depression. We had been together for 11 months. He was going through one of his low points and he was distancing himself from everyone and only wanted to do things alone.

A member of his circle of influence convinced him that if he didn’t want to do things with me that he didn’t want to be with me in the long run. The next day he broke up with me impulsively and said he plans on moving (2 hours away)next year when his lease is up and didn’t see me being the girl for him since he was going to move.

Our relationship had been great, all smiles and laughs and only two fights, so I don’t understand. I immediately started no contact after he returned my things, it’s been 10 days. When we said goodbye he said “If you ever need anything or need to talk, i’ll be around for the next few months.”

Since this was an impulse decision, is there a chance he’ll regret it?
Jane Smith

July 30, 2019 at 1:32 pm

Hi! My relationship of 9 months just ended a few weeks ago. It was the longest relationship my ex ever had. Initially, I did not know it was a breakup because it seemed like we couldn’t come to a decision but apparently to him, he had broken up with me. This was only clear when I talked to him on the following Monday. Even then, his behavior confused me. One minute he would be telling me about how I’m “perfect” then “don’t wait for me” and then finally, “I need to be alone.” Overall, it shook me up and I couldn’t understand why he was acting this way especially when it seemed like we were doing well for our relationship except for one part; intimacy but that could have been easily solved with patience. On Saturday, a mutual friend of ours was having a party in which another friend told me the night before that I should go if I can. The morning of the day of the party, that friend mentioned how he switched shifts with my ex so he could go to the party. Was this his way of trying to contact me? Other than that, there really hasn’t been an attempt to talk to me which is odd considering he told me during the breakup that he didn’t want this to be the last time he ever saw or talked to me. Furthermore, he recently changed his Facebook status to single yet still has many pictures of us on Instagram. I can’t tell if he is beginning to regret the breakup or if he is trying to move on. Should I continue with no contact? Thank you for taking the time to read through so many comments.
Nancy

June 8, 2019 at 6:40 am

I took an ex suitor back and we became official until suddenly, things became rocky again. I went into several vacation trips while he competed in several competitions which was why we didn’t get to be together that much. In that short span of time, he became more consumed with the thrill winning gave him and I started feeling neglected-evem jealous because his friends got to be with him more. Not to mention his friends like him too. We fought big time until he decided it’s over.
J

June 3, 2019 at 3:00 pm

We met online we are in our 40s we went out I felt tension but didn’t acknowledge it he was complaining I said don’t be an @ hole and he took me back to his house I grabbed ny keys as he left the door open clearly asking me to leave and Since we haven’t had too much contact I apologize sincerely after cooling off we went out one night he still hadn’t excepted my apology I tried explaining my action and took the blame and still nothing I heard from him he would drop my things off and still hasn’t I returned to dating app which I also seen him on and he sent me a message saying he was happy I moved forward.. I didn’t respond but I don’t feel as though I really have I miss him dearly and NC is killing me .. but I feel I lost him for good and not sure if that’s what we really want .. how does one argument change everything I know how we felt about each other but I guess it say a lot and how one can be so stubborn ..

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