You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed... I'm Here To Fix That

923 thoughts on “You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That”

Chelsea

September 2, 2016 at 6:28 pm

Hi, my ex and I were together for a year and a half. He was my first boyfriend, but I know he was really the one for me and I still believe he is. Anyways, we are from different parts of the U.S. and we spend summers apart, so he’s only been back for two weeks. And I feel like during those two weeks, I’ve barely gotten to see him. He spends more time with his friends than he does with me. Whenever I try to ask to spend more time with him, we usually fight, and that’s what ended our relationship. He made plans with me one night, but I did something to make him mad so he cancelled on me, and that made me sad so then I continued to try to get him to come over, and I was begging. He doesn’t like when I do that so he just tends to ignore me. Anyway, the next few days after that he just kept telling me he needed space so that he could think if he really wanted to be with him, and finally, just yesterday, he came over and said he was breaking up with me. I just don’t understand why he broke up with me because I feel like the only issue we really have is how we want to spend our time; I want more with him, he wants time to himself. I feel like although this is a reoccurring issue that we’ve had, it isn’t something to break up over, but rather compromise about. I have told him before that I would change my behavior but it just doesn’t happen, but I know for a fact that I can change it now, but he doesn’t believe me because I’ve said it before. It’s only been one day since he said we should break up, but I don’t know if he’s serious about it or not, so I’ve been begging him to just give me another chance because I know it will be different. When we were talking, he told me that our relationship causes him stress and that he is unhappy with me. I don’t know what to do at this point because I know if he just gives us another shot, it will be better. What can I do to convince him that breaking up isn’t the best option?

Chelsea

September 2, 2016 at 7:05 pm

Which part should I try out?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 3, 2016 at 9:16 am

it’s better if you read the whole article so that you can fully understand why you’re doing what you’re doing and why it lead to that situation but if you can’t, you can start with the HOW TO GET AN EX BOYFRIEND BACK IF YOU BEGGED FOR HIM BACK section
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 6:54 pm

HI Chelsea,

Want to try what Chris advised?

LG

September 1, 2016 at 7:07 pm

We broke up because I was having strong PTSD symptoms and over reacting and causing fights. It’s been better now, and I’m managing my symptoms and we’ve begun talking again.

The problem is that I’m always the one starting text convos. Any hints?

LG

September 2, 2016 at 5:18 pm

We’ve been texting for about 2 weeks…

He’s been out of town for weddings and such.

I don’t know what counts as starting the convo or not. If he responds to something I said earlier in the day, how do I measure that?

Last night we texted a bit and I was feeling rough but didn’t let it on. I asked him if he was in town for the long weekend. He said that he was. I said I was too. And then he said “I’m thinking about going to a museum Sunday?” I asked if it was an invitation and he said yes. So that’s good right? But I still feel like I reach out the most.

What can I do to turn this around? I want to read the book but I’m on a very low budget working for a start-up in New York.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 6:33 pm

If he asked you out, that’s good. Go out and have fun. If he replied late, reply and then end that convo..
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 1:20 pm

how long have you been texting?

Rc

August 27, 2016 at 9:39 am

Hi, I wrote a few weeks back but couldnt find my post. Anyway I’ve been so stupid and need help. Heres a bit of background, we were together on and off for two years since a close death in my family. Last time we broke up was about 10 months ago and no contact of 30 days worked (after I’d spent a month of being needy). He missed me over Christmas and I had deactivated my social media, he still knew through people I was out having fun so my disappearance was a huge shock to him. We got back together and we really do love eachother and have had amazing times talking about our future. Unfortunately I was suffering severe anxiety due to my loss which caused many fights. His friends gave him more pressure to break it off. After a weekend away together, we had another fight just before he went to see his friends, he called me saying it had to end, i needed to focus on myself and he was busy starting a new career. Although we had fights, I was there for him and gave him everything, he even said I treated him like a king. He said he would always be there but was not sure if we would get back together. I told him I needed space (idiot) so kind of agreed the NC and deactivated social media again like last time- only thing is I realised there is no shock factor like last time! We have a vaccation booked which is now 2 weeks away, (6 weeks from when we broke up) I paid for the luxury getaway for his birthday amd he knows this- we chose the hotel together. At the time of breaking up he told me to get a refund or if I couldn’t he would give me his half. I stupidly broke nc 21 days in hoping he would mention the vaccation- his texts were distant and he didn’t mention it. I ended up calling him and I told him I missed him (stupid) and loved him (stupid). He said it too but was kind of aggitated saying he was run down from working and he hadn’t really had time to think about it (which considering how close we were is hard to believe). I got a bit offended saying he didn’t care which caused a little frostiness, I text him saying sorry if I got it wrong but he just text back coldly saying “no worries”. On the call he had said he loved me but it had been the right thing to end it because I needed to focus on me and told me we had agreed space to do that. My Facebook is still deactivated so I need to change tactic here, I feel like ive put him in a safety net. I didn’t mention the vacation and that I’m now going on it with my girl cousin who is also single, so that may shock him- I doubt he thinks for a second I’ll go.
Also, I told him I’d been having bereavement therapy and was already feeling much better, which is true!
I know its a long story! What do I do? I haven’t spoke to him since my slip up and it ended a bit frosty. Think its also worth mentioning he’s still friends on Facebook with my family but unfollwed me on Instagram (the only social I left active, and have been posting pics out having fun) he told me on the call that seeing me had upset him so that’s why he did it but started following me again while we were on the phone.

RC

September 6, 2016 at 1:23 pm

OK, I called him last week and we were flirting etc, he said he was focusing on his career but would feel devastated if I moved on. He said girls had spoken to him but he wasnt interested. after the call he texted me goodnight and said he loved me. He didnt text me after that? What do I do? I go on vacation next week x
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2016 at 7:59 am

Enjoy the vacation! Don’t be too available. Keep him on guard for you. Don’t let him think, you’re just there, never going to go away and waiting for him to commit. Make every talk fun but don’t always be available.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 11:34 am

Hi Rc,

I don’t see any pending posts from this email too.. The older ones are way back 2015. Anyways, that’s good that you’re going on vacation with your cousin. And activate your Facebook again. Be active there. Actually the more you use no contact, the less it’s effect because he will see it as a pattern. But with you, he says you lost your individuality. So, make it seem that you’re moving on and maintain that life even if you get him back.. He might be thinking you’re just doing those things because he broke up with you and not really changing for yourself.

rachel

August 25, 2016 at 4:11 am

Me and my boyfriend broke up 2 months ago as he accused me of cheating on him with a bunch of guys but truth is nothing happened and I never cheated. At 1st it was crazy, I lost my mind and was desperate that I begged him, stalked him, went to his office, got his whereabouts from his friends etc.
We had initially planned on a vacation which was supposed to me last week. he went without me as he didnt wana bring me. 3rd night into his vacation, he called me several times, texted me scolding me and yelling how much he hates me and how i cheated on him.
It almost seems like he has made up scenarios in his head that I did this and that with the guys.
He came back from his vacation and continued scolding me. I asked him to meet me to talk about it and he refused saying he is so angry at me, he doesnt want to be with me etc.

Im so heartbroken, so much sadness. Why doesnt he believe me, its almost like im the victim and his punching bag for something I never did.
I do want him back, I miss him, I want us back together.
This whole situation seems almost impossible ass he has rejected me a million times and i mean a million times.
Would the NC work in this case ? I just want him back.

rachel

September 9, 2016 at 1:24 pm

So me and my ex broke up 2 months ago. It has been chaos ever since. He is alwys angry msging me claiming that i have slept with this guy and that. He has a long list of guys that he has made up in his mind that i have slept with. I have tried explaining to him countless times but he doesnt seem to be working. I even read the article that states if i have been falsely accused of cheating.
I have tried everything, i followed that article and not spoken to him for more than a week but i alwys ended up replying to him because of his angry msgs daily.
I got really fedup and i knew where he was working ysterday, i showed up and he wsnt pleased. We had a huge fight, with him walking away and me following him and him throwing his phone and asking me to leave but i didnt. I begged him to make it work with me but he kept refusing and saying he hasnt had feelings for me in a long time even when we were together. It was very hurtful, it ended up with him getting into his car and driving away.
I went home all numb and he continued angry msging me in the middle of the night, he sent me a video of him cutting up our picture together, That really HURT !
He is really angry at me and no matter what i do, he just keeps getting angry at me. He seems so adamant on never getting back together, he is at a point where he hates me ! He has been extremely angry at me for 2 months straight and after last night it got way worst !
What should i do ? Please advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 10, 2016 at 11:52 am

Hi Rachel,

stop feeding the fire Rachel.. I know you’ll keep doing what you want to do and I understand that and I also think that’s the only way that can help you realize that the more you answer, the more you show up, the more you beg, the more it will make him angry or take advantage of that power by continuing to be angry at you.

You basically keep on reacting to him and it’s making him feel good. Take the high road. Ignore and improve yourself. Learn to live life that he’s the only who’s angry.

You’ve explained. That’s enough. Don’t lower your value by continuing to chase him.

Stop reacting to him.. It’s like you keep riding the worst ride in the carnival and expecting it to make you feel better the next time you ride it.
rachel

August 30, 2016 at 2:58 am

Hi,

I have read and I have done everything, remove all pics of any of my guy friends. I have tried explaining, nothing has worked and it has been 2 months. It almost seems like he has believed that I have in fact cheated and made up his mind that I have cheated.
I have started NC for 6 days now and He has been angry msging me everyday for 6 days irregardless of whether he gets a reply.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 12:22 pm

Hi Rachel,

ignore him.. you won’t get anything good if you talk to an angry person.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 29, 2016 at 12:04 pm

Hi Rachel,

I think you should read this first: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t

Lilly

July 18, 2016 at 11:27 pm

Hi,
I feel like I have really messed things up with my ex. We dated for about 5 months and it was great at first. Here was so much attraction and passion. The moment things went wrong was when I misunderstood a text. I let my fear and anxiety get he best of me and I became “the text monster” in the end I apologized, but he changed his behavior towards me (major walks went up) and I panicked. Things basically spiraled out of control from there and one day he finally ended it, not in the most adult or appropriate way, but none the less he ended it. I was so heart broken. I called, text, facebooked, everything and still got nothing. one day after a month or so I just went to his house, I figured I had nothing to lose so here goes nothing. I showed up and at first it was strange but we finally talked and took responsibility for both of our wrong doings. we were having such a great time we went swimming and he was having a few drinks, but not me. we continued to have fun and one thing led to another……. In the morning he sent a text that basically said sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, I hope your not upset. I took that as his saying last night was a mistake and the “text monster came back” One minute I hated him, the next I was telling him how much I cared for him. I was a mess, all over the map of emotions. He told me to lose his number and that he felt like a fool for letting me back in and that he doesn’t trust me. Of course I apologized and begged for him back like a fool, I mean I looked like a pathetic fool. He told me he didn’t want a relationship and that he was in selfish pig mode. we did hang out again in an attempt to be friends, but as you can assume it was a big fail. the night was fine we had fun, but he said at one point “I can say that because I don’t care if you get up and leave” I asked him if he would be upset if he never talked to me again and he said “to a degree. I mean I would hope you happy and wonder how you were” we did end up sleeping together that night again, I know im an idiot, but there is that attraction still. (unhealthy for sure) I told him yet again how much I cared for him and begged and begged. I said ok after yet another text monster blew through and said goodgye I can take a hint, took me a while but I got it. Please note that he never responded to my text so it was basically me ranting like a fool. I looked so stupid and week. I really care for him, but I have some stuff from my past that I need to work on. He’s not perfect let me tell you, but he is a good guy that if the timing was right and I had delt with the stuff I needed to appropriately then we might still be together. As of 7/15/16 I started the NC. Im ready to do this and do it right. Not only for him, but myself as well. I want a fair shot with him and for him to see the girl he met and feel for again because he always told me how much he liked her. After reading this do you think its to late? Have I totally blown my shot for good? I just need a little guidance. Please Help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 1:35 pm

Hi Lilly,
no you didn’t..just do nc right by being active in improving yourself and finishing it

Tiffany

July 12, 2016 at 5:39 am

Ok so I need some advice on my current situation. Me and my ex were together for 5 months we just broke up about 2 weeks ago and I moved out a week prior because of another incident he caused. We were still in contact with eachother he was really trying to get me back because he messed up bad that last time (he’s messed up a lot but I always forgave him, only when he drinks though otherwise he’s the perfect man and never cheated on me). I didn’t really say yes or no to getting back together but I still had anger towards him for what he did so we would argue and come to find out during the time he was trying to get me back he was talking to another girl. Of course telling her that I’m the crazy one anything she needed to hear. So that hurt more then ever because she sent me screenshots of their conversations and he was already saying he misses her and calling her baby. At this point I’m devastated. I finally tell him that I want to work things out and start over, then he became confused. I told him to end things with her but kept coming up with excuses. After that I told him I shouldn’t compete so that I was done, then at that point he started calling and asked if we can start over, and me still being in my hurt and angry state of mind I said no. Now they are officially together and I finally turned into the psycho girl texting him non stop begging him not to do this to us that we had so much planned for our future and family, and he would ignore me. Then his gf gets involved and tell me to leave him alone, answering his phone, that their together and sexually active and spend every night together. I begged, said hurtful things even sent him showing that I hooked up with someone else. Told him I loved him with all my heart that I’m heart broken ect… I finally apologized to them both for the drama and texts/calls. But what I want to know is if there’s still a chance that she’s just the rebound girl and he’ll come back. Or did I push him away by begging, and acting desperate…. Just over a week ago I have texts of him telling me he loves me with all his heart and wants to marry me and him me and his daughter be a family, but now I get nothing. No response. And all my desperate texts he sends her. How did he turn on me so quick? But he did tell me he got with her because they don’t fight and he can actually talk to her without her getting mad. I tried telling him me and him started out great too but we starting having problems and I know they will too but he refuses to listen. What do you think I should do? And what do you think will happen?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 6:11 pm

Hi Tiffany,

she looks like a rebound. If you’re going to do nc, you have to stick to it and really improve to have a reset.. you should do 45 days

Carmela

July 8, 2016 at 3:47 am

I broke up with my ex because we were arguing almost everyday during the last 10 months of our relationship (we were together for 2 years and 10 months). We immediately stopped communicating and he even blocked me on Facebook although his sister and I were still talking about him up to a week after our breakup.
Three weeks after we broke up, I asked a friend to return all his stuff, but few days later, I called him and told him I missed him. When I asked if he missed me too, he said I should no longer tell him stuff like that and that he’d just call me because he was busy that time. I tried to call him again later that day but he did not pickup. The day after, I learned that he had been seeing someone DURING the last month of our relationship and that after we broke up, she would stay at his place for a couple of days. I was really devastated when I learned about it. I stopped communicating with him and started dating other guys. I also did not hear from him until after 2-3 weeks later.
That was when he started calling me and sending me Test and Checkup messages (I just read your article, “What does it mean when my ex ramdomly texts me?”). At first, I was not responsive, but I finally answered his call after a few days. He wanted us to be together again and denied that he got a new girlfriend although he admitted having a female “visitor” in his house. I told him that I just wanted us to be friends, that I decided to move on for real when he did not call me the last time, and that I already moved on (of course they’re not entirely true!). He said he wanted to work on our friendship, hoping that it would lead to something more and that he’d stay in touch. He called me the day after that conversation but I missed his calls and I did not call him back.
I did not hear from him again until after more than 2 weeks. He texted me yesterday about a cd that I forgot to include when I returned his stuff. He asked if he could pick it up today. I told him I need to look for it first. I plan to have someone bring it to his house so that he won’t have to drop by my place because I don’t think I’m ready to see him again (I haven’t seen him since we broke up over 2 months ago). He also sent me several text messages asking how I’m doing, if I’m avoiding him, how’s the weather, etc. I only replied, “I’m ok” then he stopped texting.
Should I restart NC? If I should, for how long do I need to do it? If not, what do you suggest I do next? Thanks in advance! ☺

Carmela

July 8, 2016 at 5:51 pm

Hi Amor,

This is my 2nd nc attempt, and I’m almost on my third week when I took his call about how he could get his remaining stuff with me. When he texted me about how I’m doing, if I’m avoiding him, how’s the weather, I only replied, “I’m ok”.

Note: My first nc attempt also lasted 3 weeks before I called him only to tell him I miss him.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 12:12 pm

ok well you can continue the count because that was just one time and you didn’t have a small talk
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 8, 2016 at 3:15 pm

Hi Carmela,

how far are you in nc now? what were the conversations you had with him during nc?

govers melissa

July 3, 2016 at 11:57 pm

Hi i am still waiting on a response, and this guy wasn’t my boyfriend does contact still work? i genuinely think he has long moved on… but we still follow each other on instagram.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2016 at 9:43 am

hmm we can’t guarantee that it will work..but you have to come from a point that he has moved on.. so the goal of nc is to have a restart

govers melissa

June 30, 2016 at 9:45 am

I met this guy online and we were talking for a month and a half, we did go out on a few dates and things moved quite rapidly. there were times when we were on the same page and other times we weren’t. he’s 23 and I’m 19. I really like him and i know at some point he did like me to an genuinely cared, i would show as much affection as he wanted me to not because i didn’t like him but i am not even sure why, now i regret it every single time. i would argue with him a lot and he hated it but he put up with it, the last time we hung out we went to the movies and everything was find during the movies and when i was with him but we weren’t going to hangout because we were arguing earlier that day and that week but i had told him to hangout out so we could talk and he picked me up we talked for little and then decided to go to the movies, after the movies i went back to his place because i had accidentally locked myself out the house and my sister was out of town, i was on my last days of my period ad he didn’t believe me its like he didnt care he wanted to have sex, and i didn’t want to he said that i teased him, and that i game him blue balls that i got him extremely hard, we got home around 3am and did not sleep the entire night just arguing, it was extremely stressful i did end up pleasing him because he seemed extremely hurt and couldn’t manage to stop his frustration. the next day i asked him if we were done talking and he hadn’t answered so i told him to not ignore me and he said he wasn’t ignoring me and that he wanted to continue talking to me but needed some time to roll over so he could get over that night because it was stressful and i kept texting him i was overthinking so much so it led to me texting him a lot and he would always telling i want to keep talking and he would always respond but he would say he just wanted some time to roll over and that he wasn’t mad just a little disappointed and frustrated i have noticed the drastic change since it happened and now, because i advent given him no contact rule besides not reaching out for no more than three days he expects me to text him and beg him today i did the huge mistake of sending a very long emotional text message of how he made me feel and how much i wish i appreciate him and if he could make time in his schedule so we can see each other, during this whole time have told him twice that i miss him the first time he responded differently nicer he didn’t say he missed me but he acknowledged it and the second he ignored it i screwed things by constantly texting him and i facetiemd and called him once and he didn’t answer either calls when i text him i have no clue now if he will reply or not because sometimes he does and soemtimes he doesn’t and today he didn’t reply to that message and now i don’t know what to do because i genuinely told him how i felt. i like him a lot and i want to do things right, but i feel like i screwed up because i bombarded and annoyed him way toooooo much now and he’s over me for sure he follows me on instagram and i do too so i can see when he’s on and he ignores majority of my text just like today now. i feel like if i would have gave him space in the beginning things would’ve been better by now. please help

govers melissa

July 1, 2016 at 10:17 pm

Thank you for responding, means a lot. I just feel like after that heart felt emotional text message of pouring my feelings out and being honest like putting my ego and pride aside, aside from the other times i did it but this time the message was longer than all the rest… i don’t think hell ever want to talk to me again on the other hand i think he is thankful he didn’t continue talking to him. but do you still think i have a chance to fix things?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 12:38 pm

HI Govers,

start active no contact now.. do 45 days and just focus on healing and improving yourself.

Mary

June 29, 2016 at 9:55 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. He is now in another relationship. We dated for about a year. I asked if he wanted to talk it out and his response is idk. However, he still plays words with friends and has been flirting with me threw txt. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 11:08 am

HI Mary,

stringing you along.. stop it and start active no contact.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 4:28 pm

Hi Dana,

have you started active no contact?
Hopelessly Hopeful

June 29, 2016 at 2:35 pm

Where do I begin other than HELLLPPPP! I’ve made so many mistakes during this breakup and I cannot find where to begin on my own, or if there’s any HOPE! I will download the book on my payday. In the meantime, here it is: My ex and I broke up and remained friends, although I knew he wanted more (physically) I wasn’t going to give unless there was a commitment. He moved on to a new girlfriend so I begin talking to an old friend of his on fb, then in life but never an actual date. He found out and FLIPPED out!! Called me names kicked my car, said terrible stuff. I was in shock because we were friends. In his mind we were otw to being “us” again. It’s been three months, 1st month of no contact he caved at 14 days, 2nd month I caved at 20 and this month I caved at 23 days. The last conversation was terrible; he thinks I try to hook up with his friends and family to get at him. He called me names, he yelled I cried then he said if I ever call him again there will be consequences. He hates me. Not only did I lose my boyfriend, but also my best friend, my companion. He stated he doesn’t love me anymore without actually saying so; he doesn’t want me and other harsh stuff. I am willing to put in the effort if there’s hope, if so where do that begin??

Now Hopeful!!!!

July 16, 2016 at 12:04 am

Hi thank you soo much for your reply!! Today was day 17 of NC and HE SAW ME AT THE GAST STATION, PULLED IN A PUMP AWAY FROM ME!!! HE nonchalantly began to whistle and once he looked at me he asked what I was doing and commented on how much my daughter had grown. I asked him a question about my vehicle and idk if I said gbye or drove away!!!! I was so nervous I may have just driven away!!! What should I do now???
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 4:42 pm

that’s good! keep that up.. if he sees you again.. don’t initiate contact, just be civil.. and keep on the improvements.. even after nc.. it’s your new lifestyle..
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 4:42 pm

Hi Hopelessly hopeful,

retart nc.. do 45 days and then stick to it and be active in improving yourself

ACZ

June 23, 2016 at 4:48 am

Hey Chris, can you write an article on if you were your exs first and only girlfriend? I’m attempting to apply my situation to all of the articles, but it’s difficult. We met in college, hes 19 turning 20 and im 20 turning 21. Hes very traditional in his way of seeing things, very homebodied other than golfing. I was a jerk earlier on in the relationship (6+ months), and i understood that it was not acceptable. I lost a very close family member ad would take things out on him, but he stayed. I would tell him he should break up with me because i felt he could do better. He stayed. But finally, one day he did break up with me. The feeling i had was like a wash of fear, and sadness over me. I had prayed over him before. I wanted him and still do want him to be my husband. We went to church together ( he didnt grow up too religious but he loves church), and made meals together. When he had his wisdom teeth coming in, i made only soft foods and at times even chewed his food (gross i know but I really love him). The first time, he took me back. After saying that he thinks he really wants to see if i care. I showed it, and he took me back (still the first break up; only 2 breakups in all from him) we worked on our issues and his anger towards me from what he felt in the past was wrong towards him. Reading your site i see that a first relationship and people take arguments very personally. As i said i was his first. Well this recent time, about a week ago we broke up because i was tired of him not communicating with me, to where he says he can’t communicate with me. Also he stopped including me in his college plans (we’re both transferring). I asked for advice from a guy friend if mine, and mentioned this to my ex. He said I betrayed him, and that i was probably sleeping with the guy( I would never cheat). In the days following, im pretty sure he blocked my number, but was very open to talk when i reached out through instagram. I did not beg for him back as im sure he was waiting for. He said he thinks we shouldn’t get back together even though i didnt ask. I just wanted to understand why it happened. He said he felt like we both werent happy, and we’re obsessed with eachother.

ACZ

June 23, 2016 at 4:50 am

Cont.
i stopped replying, and he kept texting to ask me what i thought of everything. He said he was very jealous also.

What can i do to get a guy back if i was his first and only girlfriend?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 27, 2016 at 12:11 pm

HI ACZ,

well from you comment, I think what you’re pointing out too is that how to navigate a general breakup because since he’s your first, you don’t know how to be a girlfriend and what to do now.. I think he’s right that you made your world revolve around each other too much but I don’t think it’s become obsessive. He just got suffocated of you. You need to find your individualities first.. Do active no contact and start your own routine. Have your own life. Check this post out:
The ungettable girl
EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?

Natalie

June 15, 2016 at 5:48 am

Hi Amor, my name is Natalie. I’m 16 and I just broke up with my boyfriend of one year and ten months. I broke up with him because he was texting another girl. I figured out his password to his Instagram (I know it’s bad no trespass into his account, but I had to know if he was doing something shady and I found out he did). I confronted him, but he lied about if at first. Then, I texted the girl he texted, she told me the truth. I later confronted him about it again and he confessed. I got to admit I did cheat on him twice, he did that to me twice so I guess me and him are even. The problem is we really loved each other but we fought a lot throughout our relationship, we promised to fix it but it would result to us fighting again. Weeks ago he proposed the idea of us breaking up and doing what we got to do to achieve our goals before getting back together in the future. I was too stubborn and said I could fix this when he needed space. I felt like I emotionally drained him which led to him texting another girl. I regret breaking up with him. I want him back. But he has blocked me on his Facebook and Instagram. All I have left is his phone number and Kik (Which I recently figured out he unblocked his number from me). I do admit a guilty action I did , which was texting him a lot, begging, and pleading for him to take me back. He replied back it’s too late and that I hurt him. He later said he wanted to be alone. I don’t know what I should do. A friend told me I should do the no contact for a week and a half. I heard about the 30 day of no contact, but he said if I do the 30 day of no contact he’s gone. I don’t know what to do.

Natalie

June 15, 2016 at 6:09 am

Also Amor, I’m sorry if this seems like a pushy request. But is it possible for you to delete my comment after you replied? I just don’t want to be reminded of this even though I came for help.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 10:04 pm

Hi Natalie,

yes we can delete your comments..just comment back to my reply, that you have read it and that I can delete it.. since he knows about the 30 day nc, it wouldn’t have the same effect that it’s supposed to have.. but if he said that, did he also say how long he needs space? becausw he can’t just dictate you to wait forever.

Emma

June 12, 2016 at 10:25 pm

Hi,
Me and my ex boyfriend are young. We were together for a year and 4 months. He suddenly said he was too stressed out and needs time, space, and doesnt want to have a girlfriend. I begged off and on for about 2 weeks and made the mistake of begging a couple of days ago, and he told me we probably will never get back together. He said there is still a part of him that still likes me but he is enjoying being single and likes the freedom. We have been broken up about a month. I have given some of his stuff back. I’m going to try NC. What do you think is going on in his mind? Should I give up? Any suggestions?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 8:34 am

Hi Emma,

I saw that you had a comment on the post about when a guy tells you that he doesn’t see you getting back togeyher…upon reading it, do you think he falls in the first part?

Aub

June 12, 2016 at 5:36 pm

Hi,
Me and my ex boyfriend are teenagers. We were together for a year and 4 months. He suddenly said he was too stressed out and needs time, space, and doesnt want to have a girlfriend. I begged off and on for about 2 weeks and made the mistake of begging a couple of days ago, and he told me we probably will never get back together. He said there is still a part of him that still likes me but he is enjoying being single and likes the freedom. We have been broken up about a month. I have given some of his stuff back. I’m going to try NC. What do you think is going on in his mind? Should I give up? Any suggestions?

Ps. Why do my comments keep getting deleted??

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 8:34 am

Hi Emma,

I saw that you had a comment on the post about when a guy tells you that he doesn’t see you getting back togeyher…upon reading it, do you think he falls in the first part?

Emma

June 12, 2016 at 5:05 pm

Hi,
Me and my ex boyfriend are teenagers. We were together for a year and 4 months. He suddenly said he was too stressed out and needs time, space, and doesnt want to have a girlfriend. I begged off and on for about 2 weeks and made the mistake of begging a couple of days ago, and he told me we probably will never get back together. He said there is still a part of him that still likes me but he is enjoying being single and likes the freedom. We have been broken up about a month. I have given some of his stuff back. I’m going to try NC. What do you think is going on in his mind? Should I give up? Any suggestions?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 8:34 am

Hi Emma,

I saw that you had a comment on the post about when a guy tells you that he doesn’t see you getting back togeyher…upon reading it, do you think he falls in the first part?

kiki

June 11, 2016 at 2:16 am

Hey,

my boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for 8 years. We had never broken up for more than a few weeks, but this time it’s different. We had a huge argument prior to seeing each other Christmas and things got really bad. from then, our communication started breaking down and I initiated no contact for three weeks. this seemingly made him really upset. I found out that he cheated on me during this time and he said he was no longer happy and wanted a break from everything. I initiated 30 day no contact. Afterwards we started communicating slowly and were making some progress. However, sometime he gave off the hot and cold treatment which really annoyed me, so we got into a few arguments. I noticed he was living his life like nothing had happened and really didn’t seem interested in fixing the relationship as he gives many excuses that I caused everything and he simply acts like he is the victim, when he was the cheater. The last conversation we had, he said he needed space and I should make myself happy. I think he;s seeing someone else but he wont admit it. I am about to initiate nc again…to either reset everything or move on once and for all. what do you think I should do? I really want him back.
Joy

June 10, 2016 at 5:36 pm

Hi Chris. I recently dated a guy for two years (though we weren’t official until the second year) and we had a great time until we moved together full-time about 6 months ago. At first, we had a long-distance relationship cause he was working another place, and would come home to our apartment during the weekends. It was perfect and we called each other every day and talked for hours, and had a great relationship whenever he came back. But when he moved in full-time, it began to sour. I was really stressed at work (it was my first real job after graduation), so I would get depressed at times and lash out on him. He would take it and be understanding, but after 5 fights on different occasions, he grew tired and broke up with me cause I wasn’t willing to accept that he needed a break. I regretted giving him an ultimatum, and cried and desperately begged for him to come back, but now he doesn’t want to speak with me or see me, cause he says he’s done with me. He is the love of my life, and I didn’t realize how I treated him until he was gone. He says I need to deal with my issues myself and not rely on him and affect him negatively. And he says he needs to focus on himself, to become himself again after all the energy I drained him for. I have some issues with constantly thinking people I love are attacking me, when they’re just thinking out loud. He says he’s been passive about communicating with me about how he feels because of my reactions. I really would like to change my ways but I am also convinced that I made a mistake and am willing to try to work things out, but he’s just so distanced from me. We just broke up this weekend so it’s still fresh. What can I do? I am considering going into the no contact month, but I don’t know if he’s gonna miss me or just completely enjoy his new freedom. I know that he loves me, but he is so traumatized after our huge fight this weekend. He said that my desperation proved exactly his point. I am so heartbroken and I love him so much.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 16, 2016 at 12:19 pm

Hi Joy,

how are you now? do you still live together?

Kikita

June 2, 2016 at 2:01 pm

Hi Team,
I don’t know if my question will be answered or not, but I’m going to try anyway.
You guys have helped me tremendously getting over my ex that maybe you guys can help me with my current situation with a guy I’m seeing. You guys are so great with getting an ex back that you should think about doing a section of advice with problems when you are in a relationship already or trying to get the girlfriend title.
So here is my problem: So I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month now. He’s the shy, awkward, doesn’t have much experience with girls type which I like. I’m super comfortable with him and we always have a great time. Recently I went on a weekend getaway with him and his family which he invited me to. It went really well. He finally kissed me, held my hand, and showered me with PDA (big milestone in whatever this is we are). But now he seems distant. We’ve barely spoken since we returned. Did the weekend freak him out? How should I act? I believe giving him space is the best idea right? Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 6:06 am

Hi Kikita,

so sorry for the late reply.. maybe he was just busy catching up to his daily activities.. how are you now?

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