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Sab
January 1, 2018 at 1:52 pm
Hi. My boyfriend and I just broke up last week, Christmas day. Our relationship was fine, we were happy. At the beginning of our relationship, he was so into me. Telling me he loves me and i should trust him. Because i just came out of a toxic relationship. After a while, i opened up myself to him. It was great. But we fight over little things but we managed to work it out. He was depressed, he has problems and i was his emotional support. Even though it’s draining on my part, I still lift him up. He says he can’t live without me, begged me multiple times not to leave him and even cried infront of me and begged. Of course, I always assure him. I always tell him that I wont leave him cause i love him so much. Months later. Early november, we’ve been through nasty fights. We got into a small argument but he hasn’t talked to me for days. He said he needed space. And so i gave it to him. A few days later, he said he was sorry and he loved me very much and he cant afford to lose me. But he said that these past few days, he lost interest in me and he doesnt know the reason why. I was hurt and broke up with him. But a few hours later, he begged me to accept him back. And so i did. We were fine after that but the fights are so often. Until we have reached to the point where we haven’t talked for 2 weeks. The first week of december, I found out he was lying to me. Since october. He doesn’t have anyone but he’s lying about being at home. Instead, he’s out there at the casino gambling. And he knows i hate that. But we worked that out. I gave him a chance again. Chances after chances. Until recently, we got into another fight because he lied to me about where he was. He didn’t talked to me for how many days. And when he finally did, he asked for space. I gave it to him. But 2 days later, he messages me saying he loves me so much and he can’t let me go. He said that no matter how fucked up he is, he really loves me. So we got back together again. We talked and he asked me where i was during our space. I told him about my whereabouts and the guys who tried to hit on me, he was very angry at the guys. And the night when we settled everything, he lied again to me. About where he was and i found it out. I called him and cried and asked why he lied to me again. He kept on saying how sorry he was and that lying was a habit to him because he didn’t want me to get mad. And he broke up with me. He said that I don’t deserve him. He’s just bringing problems to my life. He has no chance on this. At first, I didn’t agree because I know that all of this are struggles. But he begged me to let go of him. I said i would if he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore. He said that he doesn’t and that’s probably the reason why he’s lying to me, because everything faded. And i let him go. I messaged him saying how thankful i am for him and how sorry i am if i ever hurt his feelings. But he just ignored me. After that, he was acting as if he was happy. As if we never happened. He talked to his ex on social media where i can clearly see. One night i drunk texted him saying that i miss him and i want him back. He just ignored it. But he always checks my post on instagram and on snapchat. He’s always my first viewer. And he’s posting a lot lately too. Which is so unlikely for him. He knows how i hate it when he’s drunk and he drives and he posted it. Bug i didn’t contact him or anything. Just last night, i messaged him saying happy new year and im thankful for him and that i miss him, i’ll always love him and i hope he’s happy. He responded saying happy new year too. He also thanked me for everything. He said that he hopes that everything’s just fine and he hopes that i will not get hurt again this year and he hopes that i’ll be happy. He even called me babe. He said “Have a great year babe. Thank you so much for everything” But he didnt said that he loves me or misses me. I didn’t respond after.
After all, I still want him back. I dont know what to do. What should i do? 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 2, 2018 at 6:50 pm
Hi Sab,
You should start nc because that’s your clean all slate message.
Mari
December 21, 2017 at 9:55 pm
Can you help me??
Ex and I were together 10 months (He’s 25, I am 30)He is diagnosed with schizoaffective (schizo/bipolar) but is mostly fine, has only had a couple big issues in his life with it.During fights he would usually get so stressed he would end it. Start dramatics like screaming etc.Then I’d talk sense into him, telling him its a rash decision.He’d agree and apologize, saying he doesnt know why I stay.Had an instance where he admitted he is jealous of my sexual experience and wishes he had more for himself.He got on Tinder when we broke up once and I found him on it days after we made up.He was okay since then, we had a great relationship forom October til now.Recently (Dec 10) he broke up with me. I usally try to talk sense into him but I gave up and said I am done, to not write me anymoreHe flipped, called me several times after 2 hours, left VMs crying begging me, “I cant live without you I cant take the pain of not having you. You’re right I was rash and you deserve better.” I take him back, he sees that I installed Tinder on my phoneI told him I will delete it since we are back together and did. Days later he starts an argument out of nowhere. He was drunk and we break up. Begs me back the next morning, same stuff about how I deserve better and wants to talk no matter how long it takes.I dont answer til 4 PM. He had wanted to talk aftyer work.He was mad again tho, and said he was done, and not going to talk. I go on a date and tell him, but proceed to argue with him via text all night. (Stupid right??)After arguing via text for two days he said its done, that he wants to be friends and hopes I dont block him cause he likes talking to me more than he ever has anyone. Didn’t talk for 2 days. Saw him on TINDER. He posted a pic on Facebook that I took of some scenery on one of the best times we have had.I broke down and begged, tried to think of ways to appeal to him because it usually worked. He said we fight like cats and dogs, but all I want is to get along.Today he did not reply to begging. I wrote him again stating I dont know if he has blocked my number, that this is wrong for me after all because it shouldn’t be this hard and that I am blocking his number. He said “Your number is not blocked but I don’t want to be with you. we need to move on.” This is the longest this has gone on … usually we work it out in a day tops. Maybe two at most.
What should I do ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 25, 2017 at 9:47 pm
HI Mari,
You should move on.. it’s a toxic relationship.
morgan
December 17, 2017 at 7:30 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me after a year. At first he said that it was because he felt he didn’t have time for a relationship and didn’t want to hurt me. He seemed really upset at first but I couldn’t stop pushing him when all he asked for was space. Then he started bringing up small things that had bothered him, claiming I never changed after we broke up a couple months prior for one week. Now he says he doesn’t see a future with me because he doesn’t believe people will change. I didn’t stop contacting him for about 4 weeks after and all he’s doing now is partying. He unadded me on snapchat and unfollowed on instagram and tells everyone we just don’t work because of our personalities. I texted him when I got into an accident because I needed help and he didn’t answer but then later told my friend he felt really bad about it and obviously still cares about me but told her not to tell me that he said that. He is doing everything he can to try and get over me and I’m scared it’s working. Initially, he said he didn’t want to give me false hope because he didn’t know how much space he would need and now he’s just mad I didn’t give him space when he asked for it repeatedly. I thought if I could get him to be friends with me again I could show him change but I don’t think he will reach out until he’s sure he’s over me. It’s been almost 5 weeks but I’ve been in no contact for about one week. We still see each other at school. Things are such a mess because when he didn’t respond about the accident I sent him a whole thing about how it shows he doesn’t care about me and basically telling him off and that’s how we left things. I think he might be flirting with other girls already. Is there still a chance in the future? Did I ruin any chances? It just seems like he doesn’t care about me he won’t even look me in the eye at school.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 20, 2017 at 7:03 pm
Hi Morgan,
then act as if he has moved on.. if he has moved on, thinks you’re chasing him, and is not attracted to you because you’re chasing him, what are you going to do?
Em
December 8, 2017 at 11:46 pm
I have tried nc but have only managed 2 weeks at the most!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 11, 2017 at 3:05 pm
Ok, but how many times have you done it?
Kate
December 6, 2017 at 9:58 am
I would say so…? I haven’t wanted to excessively post because it’s not something I have ever done and usually don’t post anything at all. However, I have posted whenever I have went out with friends and went to a concert and posted a picture of myself when I went to an event that we were supposed to be going to together so everything that I’ve posted has been positive and happy! I still have a picture of him and I as my cover picture on Facebook and I know I should change it (which I am going to) but should I delete it completely off Facebook too? I honestly don’t think he’s even missing me at all, when he finished it with me he didn’t seem phased or even the slightest bit upset and genuinely just did not give a damn about being really really nasty to me (I know I’m silly for wanting him back but I can’t help it). Friends have told me that he is all of a sudden liking all his ex’s things on social media and there are many signs indicating that he is now going with her so I genuinely have no clue what to think at this stage anymore…
Em
December 4, 2017 at 10:31 pm
Hey,
Me and my Fiance broke up after 7 years together. We have been broken up for 3 months now, the longest I have gone is 2 weeks nc. During these months apart, we have hooked up with each other twice.
Yes, I have begged and we have had this conversation about giving the relationship another go many times which hasn’t been a success and probably pushed him away further as we both get frustrated.
This guide has helped but can you suggest what I should do next please?
Would really appreciate it!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 5, 2017 at 7:43 pm
Hi Em,
how many times have you done nc by now?
Kate
December 1, 2017 at 7:04 am
Hey, 4 weeks ago my boyfriend text me and said he didn’t care if he never seen me again. We had been a couple for a year and a half and our relationship was always very good and we were both very happy. He didn’t give any reasons other than “it just won’t work” and at the time of the breakup I did plead with him for a day or two (which I now know I shouldn’t have) but I was just so upset and shocked and confused. He was still talking to me though as he wanted to remain friends but just keep saying “I don’t know , it just won’t work”. A couple of days after the break up I cut contact and I am now coming to the end of it and have followed all the information provided on what to do during the no contact phase. I was wondering , does the pleading that I done count as excessive? Have I greatly hindered my chances of getting him back and does it mean I can no longer initiate things? I also seen something about sending a clean slate message after pleading but I was already two weeks into no contact and the last conversation we had was not vicious or an argument or anything, what should I do regarding this or will he gather that I have accepted the break up from the work I have been doing during no contact and the way in which I initiate contact? Thanks in advance.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 4, 2017 at 5:13 am
Hi Kate,
Youe chances depend now on how active you are in improving yourself and in posting..does your posts seem like you chose to stop chasing and move on?
Yuop
November 30, 2017 at 9:30 am
Oh, and I forgot to mention he isn’t keen on returning my stuff or taking his things
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 30, 2017 at 8:28 pm
Hi yuop,
Do less of posts that disappears after 24 hours..focus in improving yourself and in doing posts that just stays there.. If you didn’t do that during those two weeks, that’s a no contact rule period… Nc rule means focusing in improving yourself and being active in posting while not talking to him and continuing to do so after nc period while slowly rebuilding rapport
Yuop
November 30, 2017 at 9:28 am
Tried the nc rule for 2 weeks now alr but he isn’t interested in my life anymore. He doesn’t checks on my posts or snaps alr. Any other advice on what to do to get him back?
Rie
November 29, 2017 at 6:04 am
Weve been dating 3yrs and half he broke up with me because hes not sure if his love on me is a gf or a friend were not that fighting. I begged him for almost 2months but failed, Hes been cold after break up, and now i want to do the nc rule. Is it possible to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 29, 2017 at 3:03 pm
Hi Rie,
Try it..it’s not a guarantee but the advice above increases your chances
Yuop
November 26, 2017 at 8:18 am
So we broke up about a month ago and during the first week we had small conversations. After that we stopped talking for 2 weeks and I texted him for my stuff. And now we aren’t contacting anymore. Initiated the break but I didn’t want it after but he wanted it. He said we were different persons and had to let go. We were together for 2 years. Talked about marriage and moving in together. Any chance for us to get back together? I really love him. We had lots of small fights in between and he said it’s all about my character. How do I change this? He doesn’t seem to care at all and looks like he’s moving on well. He said he is happier now because of the space he has and I’ve been controlling him. Do I do the NC and see if he texts me or do I move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 28, 2017 at 2:01 am
Hi Yuop,
Try the nc rule first.
Antoneta
November 19, 2017 at 1:36 am
Hello! I really want to know what tactics should I use to ensure that he is the one starting conversations?
Can you please write something about that? It will be very much appreciated.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 20, 2017 at 5:39 pm
Hi Antoneta,
Check this ones:
Here Is How You Text An Ex Boyfriend To Get Him Back
The Stages of Not Getting a Text Back From Your Ex and How to Survive Them
D
November 15, 2017 at 1:56 pm
What about for a wife who has begged for several months and has spiraled downhill following the pending divorce? I am in counseling now in trying to improve myself but he is at a point where he said he no longer has it in him to continue with the marriage and is tired And emotionally exhausted. He says he wants me to be happy he still treats me with respect and where still living together just sleeping separately but he has completely shut down and just wants me to you be financially stable so that I can move out. He told me there’s no changing his mind, he will not go back. Initiating conversations isn’t hard because we live together and he still thinks of me as a friend so how would I apply this or is it even worth it should I just give up because I feel like I’ve damaged my image so much in his eyes in that he has nothing left except wishing me well…
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 18, 2017 at 2:12 am
Hi D,
check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend
Em
October 21, 2017 at 3:40 pm
Hi, me and my boyfriend of over a year broke up a little over a month ago, I have finally been doing the NC rule for 8 days now and whenever I post something he looks at it and for the first 4 weeks after the breakup I was in his Facebook header. we broke up bc he’s super stressed out from school and two jobs and he plans on moving after this year but so do I, I kept telling him we had options but he didn’t wanna listen to me because he’s stubborn. we still had feelings for each other I’m his longest relationship, the first person he loved and the first person he truly opened up to, a couple days before we broke up we apologized and owned up to all of our fights (which there was only 4 of)
Ranjitha
October 4, 2017 at 7:56 am
Hello Chris, this is ranjitha from India
Actually me and bf were in a relationship of almost two years and we broke up two weeks ago. The reason being he says he doesn’t feel for me anymore and that I am cuff for him. He says he doesn’t feel like marrying me and that it won’t ever work out. He says we aren’t an appropriate match and considers other couples perfect. He even lost his father a year back. Can it be the reason? We were in an on and off relationship from past two months and when I finally gave up two weeks ago because he wanted me to get tired and leave. I have been in no contact from past two weeks and he hasn’t contacted me directly since then. And after twenty days I have to go to his place and pick my stuff. can you help me with my situation please? And this is our first serious breakup where I have started thre no contact. what are my chances of getting him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 5, 2017 at 7:26 am
Hi Ranjitha,
Hoe much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting?
Gigi
August 20, 2017 at 12:52 pm
Hi to whoever poor soul dealing with us miserable girls going on and on about our maybe-not-so-worthy-of-our-love ex boyfriends.
Ahh, cliffhangers are my weakness. It just kills me not to know how things end. It is the one thing that makes me stay up all night finishing a TV series or a whole novel. I read this article about a week ago and purchased Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. What pages should I essentially focus on to read more about your trump card?
Btw, I have read the whole book. But I want to read the above-mentioned part more carefully.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 22, 2017 at 9:13 pm
Hi GIgi,
Read the parts about the texting and being the ungettable girl.
Keerthi
August 14, 2017 at 10:46 am
Hy Chris..this is Keerthi from India…My boyfriend broke up with me just before 2 weeks..we were toghter since 3 years… reason for the break up was we were fighting and his family got involved n his mom got angry on me n warned him not to see me anymore.. evnen he was annoyed and frustrated due to all the fighting n decided to be better I choice.. I tried to contact him n did begging n pleading also but later he blocked me everywhere (all social media n phone calls..the last time when I contacted him through a mutual friend he said we are done n there is no way that my mom is gona trust u n accept you so do not keep any false hope..m done with you..don’t contact me anymore if you do so I am gonna hate you even more.)I have no means to communicate with him anymore…I have been following NC since 10 days…but I Dont know what’s going on in his mind…he is really mad at me..I don’t know if NC will work for my Situation because of the involvement of his family…I don’t know what should be the next step that I have to take…he is really “the one” for me but I don’t think so if he see me like that…help me..tell me what I can do…I really can’t afford your guide n thatz is the sad part too..
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 14, 2017 at 9:18 pm
Have you checked this one:
EBR 054: My Exes Mom Made Him Break Up With Me
If yes, do you want to try the advice in it?
Amanda
August 12, 2017 at 2:11 pm
Me and my ex have been off and on for 2 years . He’s my first love . We both had trust issues against each other . Mine was mainly his ex . We got together right after they ended a four year relationship & she would sometimes still try and contact him . He broke up with me because one day he was dealing with family issues and I continued to blow up his phone starting arguments with him because of a argument we had the night before . He said he was done . For good and told me to move on and not contact him anymore . He never told me to move on before . I was beyond hurt and confused I continued to contact him up for a couple of days . Which I knew I shouldn’t have. He called me a physco , blocked my calls (not texts) his phone does that . and threaten to change his number . He said I annoyed him to the max . He even told me he was going to try to work things out with her , but later apologized for saying it says he said it to get me to leave him alone . Finally our last conversation I basically apologized for the way I was acting and explained myself .He basically just told me maybe if I would’ve just gave him a break after he ended things we could’ve worked things out & how it’s the wrong moves I made and I won’t make them again with my future relationships(which he never talked about me being in a future relationship before ) at the end he told me he still loves and cares about me a lot but he knows I won’t change and after the way I acted. he’s done for good .
I know I need to do no contact . Does it sound like I should do no contact to improve and move on ? Or should I do no contact and try to get him back at the end ? Also for how long ?
Also just to add we have a ten year age difference and he has no social media.
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 13, 2017 at 7:05 pm
HI Amanda,
if you want a higher chance of getting him back, do no contact to heal and improve yourself to the point that if you don’t get him back, it will hurt, but despite the hurt, you’ll go in life. You’ll go on continuing to improving yourself. Do at least 45 days.
Taylor
July 20, 2017 at 2:43 am
My boyfriend and I broke up after three years together. He wasn’t just my boyfriend but my best friend. We talked about marriage, kids, and the future constantly. I initiated the break-up, thinking that I wanted to start a family closer to my parents (who live on the west coast) and he didn’t want to leave the current state we lived in. Also, I didn’t know if what I felt for him was really love. See, I had a fear of love and marriages. Nowadays people get married and end up divorcing years later, as well as, saying they love each other and then changing their mind, that scares me. Now I’ve realized that when you love someone thats the chance you take for them. Anyways, we decided to part ways four months ago. I moved out of our place last month and moved closer to my parents. Within the last month I realized that I don’t need to be by my family in order start a family. That love is more important and trumps family (in a sense). With this new knowledge I called my ex-boyfriend the other night begging him to give me a second chance, telling him that I made a mistake, informing him of the realizations that I’ve had since being here. It was just like the sales example given above, I just couldn’t take no for an answer. Anyways he told me that he is trying to move on and that I should too, that I am a great friend but that he doesn’t want to start over again since he thinks I will likely choose my family again and leave him. He informed me again that I needed to start moving. Since I wasn’t taking “no” for an answer he told me that he needed to go and we said bye. I’ve been beside myself this past week with the realization that I likely lost my one true love. It hurts knowing that I did this. So like everyone else, I’ve been searching for ways to get him back. What would be your advice? Every time that him and I have talked or texted since our break-up, has been initiated by me. Should I try the NC rule or should I move on with the hope that we’ll reconnect one day and that what’s meant to be will happen?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 23, 2017 at 6:35 pm
Why not try the advice above? It’s better to be active than just wait
Jessica
July 8, 2017 at 3:59 am
My ex and I dated for 9 months. He broke things off with me because I bowed up at him at work during an argument. I started crying right after because of the situation we were in. 5 days later he broke up with me when I got upset that he bailed on me. He told me that he was afraid we were going to become physical with each other after I bowed up and that maybe in the future. He wanted to be single and that I cause stress. So, I decided I needed to change my actions. I realized i’m a toxic person because of my past and I no longer want to be that person anymore. I made an appointment with my doctor, he prescribed me some medicine and I am now talking to a counselor every week. However…. I begged for him back for about a week and a half. Then I started getting mad because I spent a lot of money on tickets for an event. I asked for the money back and he got mad told me any chance of us getting together is gone, deleted my number, snap chat, etc. If anyone asked about me, he now says a lot of negative things. We work together and the next day I apologize for getting upset and he wouldn’t speak to me. The next time we worked together he would then tense up and would not make eye contact if we were in the room together. People at work even noticed. Well he has been gone for the last week and I will see him at work Monday. I haven’t texted or spoke to him in over a week but I never know what to do while we are at work.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 9, 2017 at 7:08 pm
Check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend