Your Ex Boyfriend Blocked You... What Now? (Video)

604 thoughts on “Your Ex Boyfriend Blocked You… What Now? (Video)”

Is it too late?

February 13, 2016 at 10:22 am

Hi

Do you have ang idea/example of a first contact text that comes from a position of strength? It’s been around 50days since we last talked and since our last conversation was him saying he doesn’t want to talk anymore, I’m feeling absolutely empty headed whenever i try coming up with something to say to restart contact.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2016 at 12:03 pm

Hmmm.. if he sees your social media posts,, post something that he would want to ask about and that he can only ask you about it..

Cookie

February 12, 2016 at 4:01 pm

My ex blocked me on Instagram, snapchat and even my phone. I’m almost done with nc period but it seems like the only thing he still blocks me from is Instagram. I have no way of checking if I’m still blocked from snapchat or my phone unless I try to look for his number and message it. Should I just reach out after my 30 days? i’m not sure what to say because one I did a 21 day nc and tried to open a line of contact through a curiosity text of “there’s something huge I want to tell you can I tell you on the phone” it didn’t work so should I try to open contact with a honest text saying “hey I just wanted to better strangers, there’s a lot that’s been going on and it’d be nice to share some of the amazing stories with you and catch up in a friendly way” would that be okay?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2016 at 8:38 am

Hi Cookie,

Maybe you were still blocked when you sent your first text, but I think your first contact message is alright

Apple

February 8, 2016 at 10:38 pm

Hi Chris,

I just wanted to start by saying how much your posts have been a real help right now. They give me confidence that no matter the outcome, working on myself during no contact is beneficial to not only me, but to the outcome of the situation.
I am confused about somethings and how to approach them. My ex blocked me through fb and the phone after we got into a fight about breaking up last we. My first reaction was to run over to his place and try to figure things but I decided to take it as my cue for no contact. We work together and so far it has been ok…we don’t speak except for when its absolutely necessary and when I throw in the very occasional nonchalant thank you for when he does something that’s required of him in the job( so I don’t appear bitchy and that I am “ok” with the situation). I put effort into looking nice for work, actively talking to our co workers, and appearing happy and fun to be around in all situations without acting desperate. Basically I am really hoping he will see what he is missing and unblock me from his life. Does this sound like an ok decision on my side? Also is there anything else I could do to increase the chances of him trying to get me back.
On a side note, I am not sure if he blocked me out because hes angry, hurts too much to see me, sad, or just wants to move on.

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2016 at 10:22 am

Hi Apple,

You appear to be civil to each other right? But he’s not comfortable with you yet. So I think if you greet each other again, being friendly again, laughing again I think that is the time that he will unblock you.

Anne

February 7, 2016 at 7:32 pm

My ex did a full block out on everything but i can still add him on skype but i didn’t do that. And we do talk to eachother at school after i did the NC (he is my classmate) so we do laugh and stuff and make jokes but i don’t want him to block me on everything. and last week on a tuesday we were free from school and i saw on skype he unblocked and a hour later he blocked me again what does that mean? We give eachother on school high five and stuff. So what can i do about that he is still blocking me? PS. We still have two months to go with school then we won’t see eachother anymore.

Anne

February 8, 2016 at 4:13 pm

We are comfortable with each other in person. And we do talk at the subway after school. Today i even sat beside him and talked nicely and stuff.. And yeah i don’t think any school activities will help.. And i want him back but i know i am not going to talk about it about getting back together or else it will push him away. He blocked me for a month like now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2016 at 5:58 am

Hi Anne,

But you’re comfortable with each other now in person? Maybe he’s not ready to build the connection outside of school yet. It’s tricky because if you ask him, he probably won’t but maybe if there’s an excuse, like needing to contact because of school activity he might unblock you. But I think if he’s confident enough in person, that you won’t talk about getting back together on phone or chat, there’s a good chance he will unblock you

Halle

February 6, 2016 at 6:02 pm

My ex did a full block (Facebook, email, text) found this out when my text didn’t say delivered and I received no response from my email. I thought the first email was just no response so I waited two weeks and sent one from my work email and got a nuteral response. My question is how long do I wait to send him another email, and how do I get past email and get him to unblock me and send a text? I have the recovery pro, but it’s mostly based off of texts.

Halle

February 7, 2016 at 4:47 pm

Would you suggest another full 30 NC? The only communication I have had with him 2 emails that both got nuteral responses. I just want to make sure I am doing the right amount of time.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2016 at 6:44 pm

Actuallu since he blocked you, you have no other choice but to do that, because if you keep pushing it might even make him extend on blocking you
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2016 at 2:21 pm

Hi Halle,

The only thing you can do now, is stay silent. More probably they unblock when they notice that you have calmed down and stopped bugging(sorry for the word, but that’s how they see it it) him.

Daniella

February 4, 2016 at 4:17 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex-boyfriend blocked me a couple of days before his wedding day. Most of my friends believe it was his fiancee who did it, because I received a friend request from an obvious dummy FB account a few minutes later after blocking me. I sent a message to that dummy account asking if we know each other, then the dummy account was either deleted or deactivated a few minutes later.

To give you a background, we were in a four-year long distance relationship, we only get to visit once or twice a year. Last year we were already planning on staying together, I already got my visa. He always tells me how excited he was and that he’s looking forward to me staying with him. I felt the same way. Being in a long distance relationship is hard and it has become harder because he has depression and anxiety. A few days after we were supposed to book my flight, he figured he ran out of meds when he thought he still had another bottle of each. He said he’s not sure when he’ll be able to get more and it’s not good since his meds are going to be shipped from his home country. I know what’s going to happen next, we won’t be able to talk like we regularly do, as I always give him the space and time he needs when he’s going through anxiety and depression. In the past years, the “no talk” period would normally last for days or weeks or one month the most, but last year was different, it has been more than a month and he wasn’t still responding to my messages. Christmas time came and I saw on FB that he’s with a new girl, they got engaged one week later then got married three weeks later. The girl has been traveling to wherever my ex-boyfriend was traveling for work. I figured it’s where and how the affair started. I know him so well, he’s not the type of man who would easily commit and make life-changing decisions that fast. With the way things stand, my gut instinct tells me that something happened, something serious that everything has to happen too fast, my gut instinct tells me he got her knocked up. I may be wrong about it, but they say never discredit your gut instinct.

Now I don’t know if I should have written you here. I don’t have any plans of getting him back, whether or not he’s married. All I ever wanted was for him to talk to me, clear things up, so we both could finally move on with our own lives. He hasn’t talked to me. Not a single word. Sent him messages and never got a reply from him. Never contacted him since then. I just needed closure.

I was able to relate to the video and hopefully he’ll eventually talk to me.

Thank you.

DANIELLA

February 6, 2016 at 2:01 pm

Thanks, Amor. Sent him emails in December last year when I saw on Facebook that he’s with a new girl, most were questions, but not a single word from him. Finally sent him an email more than two weeks ago before his wedding day to basically summarize what I feel and yeah to give some form of closure. Told him I don’t have any plans of getting back together and no plans whatsoever to rekindle our relationship. But I also told him to just tell me what happened and hope he finds the courage to talk to me sooner or later. I was clear that I just wanted closure just like most people would want when a relationship ends.

What are the possibilities and how likely do you think that I’ll get an explanation/closure that I’ve been asking for?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2016 at 1:38 pm

It’s hard to tell but if a lot is going on in his life right now, you wouldn’t probably get it immediately. If he checks his email in a right time, and he’s emotionally ready, he might send you a closure mail.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 5, 2016 at 7:59 am

Hi Daniella,

I’m sorry for what happened. But the best approach would be to mail him or pm him what you feel and just let it go after that so, you can have some form of closure. Maybe his email is not yet handled by his wife

Confused

February 3, 2016 at 11:12 pm

So I was with this guy for a year, and then out of the blue he called me saying that “this isn’t going to work out”. He had just told his parents about us dating, his mother didn’t react well. I had never met his family and he hadn’t met mine. We had talked about marriage and a future and after this dinner with his parents he just cuts me off completely. He broke up with me over the phone, telling me that his parents were forcing him to make some decisions or they were going to cut him off. He has a full time job, but they still pay the rent on his apartment. He’s blocked me on phone, Facebook, and even Xbox. I know this because I tried contacting him the day after to get my stuff back from him. I have not tried contacting him since this discovery, which has been about a week. I’m so confused about how this all ended and I still love him and want him back, but don’t know what to do.

Confused

February 6, 2016 at 1:31 am

He’s 28, and he didn’t really give me a very good explanation, but I think they didn’t like the idea of him in a relationship. They kept telling him that he needs to focus on his career right now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 6, 2016 at 2:51 pm

Hmmm, it sounds like he’s following his parent’s advice and he doesn’t have his own decision. You said his parents is still paying for his rent right? The problem with that is he’s immature, maybe that’s also the reason why his parents doesn’t want him to be in a relationship for now
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 5, 2016 at 4:30 am

Hi Confused,

how old is he? He broke up with you because his parents doesn’t like you or doesn’t like him being in a relationahip?

Lost.angel

February 3, 2016 at 6:30 pm

Same sort of question i was asking but you didnt response my last comment… I dont know if its too late now… I dont know what to do but i dont wanna sit and do nothing when im in a bad place, i wanna fix it, make it better instead coz i dont want him to move on… But should i believe him? im not sure if he ment what he said or was he just mad at me… Im truly going crazy and this pain is getting unpossible to deal.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 4, 2016 at 2:08 pm

Hi sorry about your last comment. I must have accidentally approved it before commenting. I think he was just annoyed but if you push more to talk to him, you might end up hurting your chances. That’s why you need to be productive in your nc. Find yourself, heal and let him see why leaving you was a mistake. Improve yourself and focus on growth because if you just do nothing, aside from getting sad, it won’t help in getting him back.

Moa

February 1, 2016 at 3:17 pm

what do you recomand me to do is it too late for no contact rule ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 3, 2016 at 7:58 am

Actually that’s the only thing I can think of that you should do.. I don’t think it’s too late but if you’re going to do it, stick to finishing it instead of stopping midway and then restarting count because the more you do it, the less it’s efficacy. Though I cannot assure you that it’s the solution but it’s the only way that can give you a chance somehow

Lost.angel

February 1, 2016 at 7:10 am

Hello… I have been reading all the suggestions on your website but im now in a bad place so i dont think it would work for me… I will tell you as much as i can but please remember, English is my second language… I have been going out with a man who is twenty years older than me so i would expect him to know what he wants… He is a well known writer, he wrote many self help books and he is good at his job but he doesnt even know what he realy wants and he always doubts about me and our relationship. I been together with him only for the last a few months but he has been always two step forward and one step back. And it hurts… When i ask him whats going on? He says ‘something is not right and it makes me stress’ but when i ask him ‘what is it?’, the only thing he says ‘i dont know what is it but i trust my feelings’… I believe that he loves me, however he says that he has some feelings for me but he is not sure if its love or something else… He only cares about me when everything is good but he doesnt like to hear my problems… He says ‘i cant give you psychological suport or be there for you coz my feelings are not strong enough’, it breaks my heart to hear it. Im not sure what to think… Can you please help me to understand him? There are so many other things that i dont have enough time to write… This relationship is over now, again… He left me before coz he believes that its not gonna work but he is not sure and he does refuse to give enough time to get to know me… He says he wants to get know me but then he feels scared and steps back again.. Doesnt matter how much i wait or contact him or not contact him, its always the same result… He comes and goes and then he does miss me and comes back to me again. But everytime it hurts even more and i still forgive him everytime… But this time i couldnt take it anymore and i went abit crazy when he left me again.. I was always acting strong and i was trying to leave him space untill he feels ready to try again… What is wrong with him??? Is it me or is it him? It happened again two months ago coz he wasnt ready to see me again… He said ‘i wanna make it better this time and evoid the mistakes that i did before but not ready to see you yet coz i wanna make it work’ but i couldnt wait, i should have listen him but i do miss him so i ignored the fact and i wanted to meet him again, and it didnt end well… We had a great night together but the next day he was the same confused man again, he did run from this door for the first time coz i couldnt deal with it like how i was dealing before… Now i feel bad… Should i feel quilty????? After he left me, i felt very quilty and i started to call him none stop for the first time and i sent many texts to his phone… I annoyed him with my calls for the last a few weeks now but i didnt mean it… I feel bad now but also im mad at him coz im feeling like i have been taking all the risks and responsibilities when he doesnt take any responsibilty… At the end he drived me crazy and he changed his phone number coz he doesnt know how to block people… Its a shame coz it didnt happend to me before, its not very nice… Now i cant call or txt to his phone or i cant contact on the internet or any social media now coz he also blocked me from everywhere… But we dont have any common friends coz we live in two diffrent worlds and also diffrent cities… He doesnt response to my emails either… All i have is now his home adress… Im willing to travel three hours on the train for him and knock on his door coz thats the only way that i can reach him now. But after i annoyed him, he said ‘i dont wanna keep in touch anymore because you have been bomboarding me with many texts, which is harassesment and if you continue thats againts the law, i should have never talk to you again, i made my decision before anyway but then i did miss talking to you, it doesnt mean that i was sure about continueing the relationship but you assumed that everything was going to be fine’… And the last thing he said ‘i dont want to continue to relationship with you now or later in the future because now i have no feelings left for you but you dont have to forget me’. I hope he was only angry… Just coz i did call him none stop, he says he has no feelings left… Can it be true? It shouldnt be that simple… I waited one month now, i couldnt contact him anyway… Should i go to his house and talk to him? Im in real pain and dealing with depression…

Lost.angel

February 2, 2016 at 11:36 am

Thanx, i will try to wait but its getting harder to not go and ask him these questions… I dont want him to move on but im scared coz i know that he can be strong and careless… I do wanna knock on his door, hug and kiss him right there. This is the first time he told me that he has no feelings left… He used to say good things before leave… Things that make me think of him even more… Can it be true? Just coz i called him none stop, should i believe that he has no feelings left since then??? I hope he was only angry and maybe he realy felt like it in the bad moment… I hope i didnt lose him… Im going crazy over him. Its getting harder….
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 2, 2016 at 11:07 am

Hi Lost Angel,

It takes two for a relationship to work. It’s not totally your fault but he was clear that he’s not ready but you took the risk and that means you may end up not getting anything in return even if you gave it your all. The truth is, for now time can only tell if he’ll unblock you. I don’t know if a month of no contact with him is enough for him not to get annoyed when you visit but if he hasn’t unblocked you, maybe he’s not ready yet.
And also, he may still be checking your profile through others, so it’s better of you’ll be productive with yourself and use this time to think how much willing are you to sacrifice time, effort and emotions in waiting for a man who’s doesn’t want to commit right now.

Moa

January 29, 2016 at 8:43 pm

HELLO I’m keep contacting my boyfriend on the phone and every time I call him or I send a text he reply me badly don’t call me anymore or don’t text me anymore ,,, I ask him why after a long time together , he tells me that he don’t want to go through the past everything is done now ….and also tells me if you keep calling me he will change is number and he still didn’t do it I hope is a positive sign …I really need some advice please what should I do I feel sick in my stomach every day and I’m so hurt please help

Moa

February 1, 2016 at 3:13 pm

You think i should start no contact rule or its too late after calling him so many time?
Moa

January 31, 2016 at 3:03 pm

the only plan I have to get with him together like we were before ,,,when I called him 2 days ago on the phone he told me I pick up the phone cuz I do have respect for you and I want to be correct ,,,when I asked him do you hate me? he said I don’t hate you but i cut off everything and when i asked why?? he said I’m not going to repeat everything and at the end cuz he was still working at the moment he told me i have to go working and i hang up …… in general he is very calm `when i call him i really need advice we know each others for 6 years thnx
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2016 at 7:23 am

hmmm.. the thing is if you will keep calling, you will annoy him and like he said, he might block you.
Moa

January 31, 2016 at 12:56 am

Yes I do know about NC but I’m afraid wont work
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2016 at 5:05 am

Hmmm.. It’s not a guarantee that it will work 100% But from the looks of your situation, aside from giving him space, do you have any other plan in mind?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2016 at 2:01 pm

Hi Moa,

SOrry to say, but it looks like you’ve annoyed him and it looks like you’ve become a text gnat? Do you know about the no contact rule?

he blocked in every way cause i`m pregnant

January 28, 2016 at 5:36 pm

but how do i get him back ? i can focus in 2 things , and in the country i àm there is no way to make him come, so my only way is getting him back , so should try to talk to him after a month?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2016 at 10:53 am

okay, the truth is we can’t guarantee that he’ll be back for sure.
If he thinks you’re a liar but now sees that you’re really pregnant then he might change his mind.

But if he doesn’t change his mind even though he knows you’re pregnant with him, you have to be prepared for it. You have to think about if this the kind of guy you want to be with. That’s also why you need to find a relative or a friend or an organization that can help you with your babies.

Because if he’s still angry, no matter what you do, he will not listen to you. If you’re going to ask how to get rid of his anger, the only thing you can do is not do things that can make it worse. Give him space and If there’s a chance that you talk to him, be calm and don’t beg. Be serious but not depressed. Act like the responsible adult because if he ran away from his country because of child support, there is really a problem with him being responsible for his actions.
So, even if you didn’t lie, if he doesn’t want to be a father, we can’t force him to be or else he’s just going to move further away.

Is it too late?

January 28, 2016 at 9:31 am

Hi,

I was with my ex for more than 4 years, and things got pretty serious – we were talking about marriage and I met his family. However, his family wasn’t 100% keen on me because I’m from a different country and they are very conservative. He didn’t stand up for us, freaked out and broke up. We got back together after 3 months for a short while ( 3 weeks), when he said he would talk his family around. When he didn’t, I broke it off. I still wanted to get back though, hoping he would have figured things out with his family – so I followed your advice, did 1 month of NC and then reached out to him. At first he was really receptive and even went a bit overboard calling me etc. We had a few nice conversations, but then he freaked out, said talking to me was bad for him because it made him want to get back together and was too difficult – and then he blocked me on facebook. In retrospect, I may have gone from 0-50 too fast in establishing contact.

I thought at that time that I was completely done with him, but now after 1 month of no contact, I noticed that he has visited my blog a few times in the last couple of weeks. I don’t know if this means he misses me or not.

At the same time, I’ve done a lot of fun things in life – tried out new activities, made new friends, joined a gym and feel like my life is going pretty well. The only thing is, every guy I meet, I feel they fall short of all my standards where he had met a lot of my standards (the obvious exception obviously he had failed big time on the ‘being able to stand up for what he wants’).

And I do miss him from time to time, and wonder if he has ever had regrets or will ever change.

SO my question is: given that he blocked me, and told me that he thinks we should never talk again -> should I even try and reach out to him again? Or should I let it be, and allow him to reach out? Since in another article about begging, Chris has written that if you’ve ever begged (and before he blocked me, I did, to some extent, fight it and I was the one who initiated contact that time), then you need to reestablish contact from a position of power. If I contact him now, will he not just think that I’m begging etc again?

Thanks Amor for your reply.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2016 at 9:05 am

Hi Is it too late?,

🙂 Well, Chris didn’t mention not to initiate but if you’re going to initiate, you have to come from the position of power. And he probably didn’t mean what he said about not talking ever. So, you’re blocked but are you blocked everywhere? Social media and phone? So, if everywhere then, you have to wait until you’re unblocked but you still have to make your social media posts active. Even your blog because he checks it.
It’s going to be tricky but it can be done. First, you can’t talk about the relationship and as much as possible keep the conversation short so, he won’t reach the point of calling or not answering.

Sick to my stomach

January 28, 2016 at 4:29 am

First, your site is awesome. i followed NC and almost got him back LDR. It was wonderful. And then … stuff happened. Now he suddenly blocked me on Facebook about 10 days ago. and today I found out why. I accessed his page from a friend’s FB and saw that he changed his cover photo to a girl taking a selfie. He’s never done that. The girl almost looks like she’s making a kissy face. Two funny things though, 1) I’m the only person blocked, and 2) the pic isn’t tagged. His phone number changed so I can’t call. I have no idea if he blocked my email or not, So I sent him an email telling him I hope he’s happy (even though I don’t really know if she is his new girlfriend). I’ve been down this “failing the NC” road with him before, so I vow to do NC starting tomorrow. I still love this man! Am I on the right track?

Getting scared

February 8, 2016 at 4:08 am

I know. I know. Said I wouldn’t bring it up again. But something told me if I looked at her FB page, i might see a pic of him and her posing together. And sure enough. that’s what I saw when I acted against my better judgement. She introduced him as her man (but status still says single). She said the pic is old, but new to FB. (Was he cheating LDR?) I have no idea what day of NC I’m on. I even still dream about him. i am still blocked. and now wondering how can I pull this off.
Still Wondering

January 31, 2016 at 4:28 pm

It’s Day 3 of NC and I promise I won’t bring this up again until I get to post my NC worked and I GET HIM BACK. I’m still wondering why he only blocked me from FB. This man loved me and asked me to marry him. Why he didn’t tell he tell me about the new girl. And if he’s hiding her from me. I want to believe that he still loves me and this new chick is a rebound. I just want to know why he blocked me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2016 at 7:43 am

If I can answer that, I would…
Alittle more sick

January 29, 2016 at 2:14 am

Yes, I know I shouldn’t have emailed him. but I followed the advice of a friend instead of this web site. (That was DUMB). Now I’m sure he knows i know. Worse still, I did more spying today and confirmed he is in a relationship because she changed her cover photo to his and called him her sweetie. Now mind you, when he and I were FB friends, he literally LIVED on my page spying on mem and FB messenger tells you EVERYTHING. But I promised God I would not make him a close friend and decided to not spy on him. When my first full NC worked, he made sure that I wasn’t with anyone nor even HAD been with anyone since he left town.,and let me know he wasn’t with anyone either. What I don’t understand now is why he just didn’t tell me he was with someone. WHY? He even inboxed me that he didn’t do anything for new years when I asked, implying he was single. This hurts like HE double hockey sticks. Will my NC be too late?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2016 at 1:31 pm

No, it wasn’t dumb. We’re people, we’re allowed to make mistakes. 🙂 And nope, it’s not too late.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 28, 2016 at 4:53 am

Hmmm… If about starting the NC yes, but for sure now he knows you checking him out but because of the email, your silence can mean to him that you’re trying to move on and maybe it will him unblock you after a few weeks.

Platinum

January 28, 2016 at 12:12 am

Hey EBR staff! I figured I should share my situation with you guys so you could give me some insight and help me with some tips.

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me almost 6 months ago, and we were together for 1.5 years. The reason he did it was because he felt I didn’t give him enough attention, and that I wouldn’t care about him enough (not exactly true, but that’s what he said). Besides that, I was a bit too needy and clingy. I did 43 days of NC two days after the breakup, and by the end of that time, he contacted me.

After that, we kept almost regular contact. He gave me hot and cold behavior, and would flirt with me every 2 weeks or so. Like, hard, sexual flirting. He would also compliment me every once in a while.
Then he gradually, slowly, started to withdraw. He had lots of health issues. His mom had her health issues too. Stress from college was starting to pile up. I didn’t like the way he was withdrawing when I was curious about him and cared about his difficulties, wanting to cheer him up, and so I asked him “Why do you do this to me?” (referring to him being short on his messages) and he overreacted and said “Stop dramatizing. I didn’t do anything to you. I do whatever I want to do now. What explanations do I have to give you when I finish my lunch and I want to go study?” and I said “None. But I wasn’t talking about that.” to which he said “Okay, thank you!”. I obviously got angry and hurt, and I ended the conversation saying “You don’t have to give me any explanations. But I think I deserve some respect.”

It’s been one month since that happened. Now, after a few days it happened, I found out he turned off chat to me on Facebook, which is the main media we use to talk. I saw that as some sort of “soft blocking”. He probably thought that actually blocking me would be too harsh, so he just turned off chat to me. I’m also assuming he kept my updates from appearing on his news feed. I, of course, did a second NC period. We both had exams during this time. I guess he probably kept me away from him because I’d be an extra nuisance. He could also be forcing himself to move on. I don’t know…
I can’t even stomach the idea of reaching out to him after this. He hurt me and I’m very angry. What are your suggestions? And are your opinions on my situation?

By the way, I have no idea if he’s seeing someone else or not.

Thanks for taking your time to help me! 🙂

Platinum

January 29, 2016 at 9:54 pm

You’re welcome, hahaha ^^ So do you suggest I wait a bit more until he contacts me? In my heart, that’s what I feel like doing. At least until he turns on his chat to me. I have no idea what’s going on in his mind. I swear one week before we had this misunderstanding he was flirting with me. He even said “I love looking at your photos.” Next day he withdraws and gives me short replies. And then this happens.
I don’t intend to cause a fight or angrily explode at him. A simple “Look, the way you talked to me last time made me feel hurt. It was uncalled for, in my opinion.” would do. Actually, it’s keeping this inside and not being able to tell him that’s making feel angry. I’m a very straightforward girl, so this is what happens when I don’t tell people what I don’t like.

Again, thanks for taking your time to help me! 😀
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2016 at 2:08 pm

Yeah, I agree on waiting a little bit more. Why don’t you try writing down your feelings or what you wanted to say when you were hurt? It helps to lessen bottled up feelings.
Platinum

January 28, 2016 at 1:43 pm

Thanks for replying, Amor!
Yes, I know. The thing is that, even if I wanted to reach out, maybe that will paint me in a desperate light, because he already went out of his way to turn off his chat to me. Besides, he’s the one who acted like a jerk. I did nothing wrong. So I’m the one who deserves an apology. I don’t want him to be his doormat, no way.

I’m actually very confused myself. Some of his acts post-breakup have led me to reconsider if I really want him back. I sense that he’s not the same guy I used to know. I’ve been preparing myself to move on, because I’m way too young (we’re both 20) to go through all of this, and I actually don’t need that. Of course, I still love him, but… it’s complicated. I wish he could be kind again and not having these overreacting episodes. And yes, he used to be kind and caring post-breakup.

By the way, here’s a little curiosity. 😛 I don’t know if you already knew this, but your name, Amor, means Love in Portuguese, which is my language. It means Love as well in Spanish. What a coincidence! 😀
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2016 at 9:58 am

You’re right. If the first contact is not done right, it can really paint you in the wrong light. Reaching out in the first place is actually risky but it depends on every situation. I’m glad you found your worth more valuable than a guy’s approval. Thank you for the trivia!! 🙂 I actually didn’t notice that in the first place too, until my boyfriend pointed it out! 🙂 It is a nice coincidence!
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 28, 2016 at 11:35 am

HI Platinum,

If that’s how you feel, then certainly don’t reach out yet because it’s impossible to have a non-emotional conversation if you’re angry.

Lea

January 25, 2016 at 5:55 pm

This is a man I have known for 10 years (we were together years ago & both married and divorced other people & recently started to see each other again. Sometimes I think he just wants me for a booty call. I can’t tell even with all of our history. It seems to me that he always acts distant after sex but maybe I’m wrong. It could be coincidence because we have also had some misunderstandings that always seem to occur right after sex. He always texts the next day after sex but in this case we got into a fight the following day (after he sent me his usual texts). He apologized for his part in the argument several times but I said some things I shouldn’t. So when I didn’t hear from him for a few days, I thought he was just doing his usual withdrawal after sex. But this time, apparently he was mad at me for saying some hurtful things. I reached out, apologized & left him alone a few days. I attempted again a few days later & this time he was cold, said he wasn’t mad but has problems & needs space. I was confrontational about him not texting & I am pretty sure he felt backed into a corner. I said things like “just tell me if you want me to walk away & I will & let me know so I can move on”. That’s when he said he has a life too & needs space. As soon as he said he needed space, I wished him well, said I would give him plenty of space & I BLOCKED HIM on facebook messenger. He must have attempted to message me & realized he was blocked, because he then called me but I ignored his call. I figured he would be heated about me blocking him & wanted to save an argument. I don’t have him blocked from my phone yet, so it is a partial block. My question is, since he needs space, did I do the right thing? Should I just wait for him to contact me or move on? My other question is do you think he is really having “problems” or just using that as an excuse because he is mad? For the record we both have done 30 day NC on each other many times. One of us always caves. Usually he caves before me. The most recent NC was several months & I caved. As soon as I reached out to him, he immediately said he missed me & that was where we started off again with our daily talks. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Lea

January 26, 2016 at 3:38 pm

You’re right, I do need to stop myself from reacting in that moment. I will keep you posted on my situation. You have been a big help!
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2016 at 5:37 am

I’m happy I was able to help you! 🙂
11Lea

January 26, 2016 at 1:01 pm

Yes Amor, I would want to continue if it NC works again (if) we could get on the same page. He seems to withdraw and come back or pushes me away then pulls me in which makes me think he just wants sex. I didn’t answer when he called because I felt I was too emotional at that moment & like you say, I needed to step away. I guess I was just very shocked by his request because I rarely even text him (he does 75% of the initiating), I never call & put him on the spot, (I wait for him to call me) and when we make plans to see each other, HE makes the plans. So, I was like More Space?? Which is why I thought maybe he was still mad at me & heated. Thanks so much for responding!! I really appreciate it!
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 26, 2016 at 1:15 pm

If that’s the case, you’re doing good. The only thing you need to practice is identifying your emotions and separating your emotions from the situation. If you think you don’t need to do NC, that’s good! Just practice separating yourself from negative emotions, or maybe stopping whenever you feel them to avoid fights.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 26, 2016 at 10:04 am

Hi Lea,

Okay, hmm for me even if he said he needed space, the conversation could have ended better but if he really has a problem, we won’t know if he’s really telling the truth but maybe it’s better to step away from the situation whenever you feel angry or annoyed so, you won’t make actions out of it.
If NC works almost all the time with you two, then would you want to continue the relationship if it workd again this time?
Lea

January 25, 2016 at 10:08 pm

One more thing…how do we break this cycle? NC works & we end up missing each other & looking for each other. We talk for weeks but then something always happens to make us back away from one another. Before we had sex this time. we had some serious talks about how neither of us are intimate with anyone else. He reassured me that he is only looking for me & is not sleeping with anyone else. He said this repeatedly. So, even though we are not boyfriend/girlfriend yet, we seemed to have an understanding & were moving in the right direction. I am so confused! Help
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 26, 2016 at 2:22 pm

To break the cycle, that means you have to practice how to handle problems better.

he blocked in every way cause i`m pregnant

January 25, 2016 at 1:36 am

my ex blocked me in every way, and told me to never contact him again, he blocked me cause i`m pregnant and he wanted me to lose my babies, at first i faked i did but later i told him the truth, so he blocked me , he was really mad he said i`m a liar and wants nothing to do with me , but i`m pregnant of twins and broke lol should i never contact him like he said or contact him but dont know how after NC?, he actually ran away from the country to his country cause he is scared of child support and he said he cant have babies outside marriage and dont wanna married me , cause i`m a liar that`s what he says .. so what should i do? i want him back no only cause i love him but also cause i really need his help and the law cant force him to comeback to help me with the babies, anyway any help?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2016 at 10:38 am

Hi,

First, you must find a relative, friend or an otganization that can help you with your current situation. I don’t know which country you’re in but most countries have non government organizationa who take care of expecting moms that can’t afford to give birth.
Lastly, you have to find emotional support because if he really doesn’t want to be a father, being back together is the last thing in his mind. Focus in your babies now first because they are the most important

julia

January 24, 2016 at 1:46 pm

hello there
i dated a guy for 1 month. our problem was that he was always busy and he couldn’t change that (as he said), and i kept nagging all the time that i am not satisfied and i am unhappy etc. i drove his nuts nuts crazy through nagging. i tried to break up with him 2-3 times but we always ended up loving each other. yesterday i sent him a text that i want to see him and we need to fix those small things or it will end badly for bot of us.. and until he sees me let him take a break and think what does he want from me and from us. he texted me and told “i don’t want anything from you” we started arguing and he sent me a long paragraph “i promise you that its over forever and we are not going to get back together and i love u so much but its better for me to get hurt than seeing you dying every day, i can’t handle all those fights and u can’t neither its better for us to separate” i begged him not to leave but he ended up blocking me on whatsapp,fiber and unfriended me on fb. i texted him on fb that i love him and lets just fix things but i got no respond will no contact rule be beneficial? he is a capricorn and i read a lot though the internet,that capricorn man never look back at their ex relationships

Lea

January 25, 2016 at 10:15 pm

Hi. I know I am just another confused girlfriend like you but the whole capricorn thing, don’t believe that. I am a cap & have gone back to my ex over & over for a decade. And just my opinion but he seems to be throwing a little bit of a tantrum & wants you to kiss his butt. So if you do NC, it will be the exact opposite of what he is expecting.
julia

January 24, 2016 at 10:06 pm

+
he told me while they break up “when i will be in town i will drop you a call and we will meet and i will end it face to face but nothing will change,so wait my call”
how should i act when he calls me?

Beth

January 21, 2016 at 7:29 pm

My ex broke up with me a year ago and we recently reconnected 6 weeks ago. We’ve seen each other at least once or twice a week for a few hours and we’ll text briefly, mostly just to makes plans or joke around. I helped him breakup with a girl he was talking to the second time we hung out. They were together for like a month.
Anyway, we’ve talked about what caused the breakup and he’s mentioned how he made a mistake breaking up with me and that he was a coward, but he can see how it actually helped us in the long run since we’re both in better places now. He’s made comments like “I’m not over you”, “I miss this, I miss you”, “I think I’m falling back in love with you”. We’ll even joke about getting married and traveling together. We still haven’t sex and I made it clear that I don’t want to unless we’re headed in the direction of getting back together. He told me he’s off dating sites and he’s only interested in me and that’s what he’s focusing on. He told me every girl he has dated reminded him that they weren’t me and evening have sex with other women wasn’t that great.
The last week he’s been really standoffish and he mentioned how he’s scared of hurting me again. I don’t know if that’s the reason he’s acting weird. Out friends and family know we’re friends again, but he wants to keep what we’re doing a secret. We’ll fool around sometimes, but I’m not sure if that’s the secret or us trying to together is the secret. He’s mentioned he’s fine with me going on dates because he knows there will never be a second for the guy. He says he wants to take things slow, not tell anyone, we don’t have talk or hangout all the time and I’m fine with all of that. I don’t want to rush anything. He’ll also say how he’s not in the position to be in the relationship and I don’t know if he means right now at the moment or at all. I don’t mind waiting, but I don’t want to wait forever.

I’m just confused and I need some guidance. Please help me

Beth

March 4, 2016 at 4:23 pm

Should I still initiate conversation? I stopped mentioning hanging out a week ago, should I try to bring up the idea again next week? Or just leave it alone and do no contact?

Thank you, again
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2016 at 8:25 am

hmmm..leave it for now but try again to initiate after a week..if he’s not that positive in replying it either means he’s really busy or he doesn’t want to talk.. if that’s the case it’s better to stop
Beth

March 4, 2016 at 3:26 am

So, I’ve been very cautious and we’ve both discussed about the future. We both want to be together and have no intentions of seeking other people, but we still don’t want to rush anything and be friends first. I guess we’re figuring out how to be relationship again without losing ourselves. We just want to make it right this time.

However, his anxiety has gotten pretty bad the past couple of weeks and we haven’t spent time together, but we still talk. He apologizes for being a pain and not wanting to hangout. Should I just give up? Worry?
It will be 2 weeks since we last saw each other.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2016 at 7:34 am

worry won’t do anything good… if you feel it, acknwledge it and then just assure yourself that worry does nothing unless you find a solution to the problem you’re worried about… of he agreed to take it slow..take it slow, if he’s busy give him time and let him do the work after that because you’ve probably put more effort when he was busy
Beth

January 29, 2016 at 4:51 pm

One more question! So, should I keep just hanging out with him and giving him his space or should I retreat? Or make more of an effort to see him more?

Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2016 at 11:58 am

I think you should be cautious if you keep hanging out with him, because if he wants to keep it a secret, then it’s more like all he wants us sex.
Beth

January 28, 2016 at 11:50 pm

I apologize, but can you specify to what you mean by giving in? Like giving into sex? I don’t want to hide anything either, but I don’t want to rush and have to explain to everyone and then it not working out.

thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2016 at 1:23 pm

No need to apologize 🙂 Yeah it’s about giving into sex, because he said to keep things a secret and when you said that he said he’s not ready for a relationship, it seems like that your relationship now is what he wants to keep a secret. And about the sex, don’t have it when you’re heading in the directions of getting back together. Only have it when you’re certainly, 100% back together.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 23, 2016 at 1:47 pm

Hi Beth,

He can be testing you whether you’ll give in with just words because for me, nothing right should be hidden

Moa

January 21, 2016 at 12:55 am

hello me and my ex boyfriend been together for 6 years …he stop talking to me for about a month ..when I text him he tells me to don’t contact him otherwise he will close his phone , I really want him back please help

Moa

January 22, 2016 at 10:15 pm

I asked him if he still have any feelings for me but his answer is ”I told you is over ”I don’t know how he feel about me anymore
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 21, 2016 at 12:15 pm

Hi Moa,

Do the no contact rule. If you don’t know what it is, here’s a comprehensive post about it. The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0)

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