The Worst Nightmares During No Contact And How To Handle Them

476 thoughts on “Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule”

Marianne

August 4, 2018 at 10:44 pm

I was together with my ex for 6 years, he broke up with me and after begging and crying and trying desperately to win him back came across no contact method and started implementing it, 20 days passed and he reached out to ask me what I had been up to, I hesitated a little before answering but ended up breaking no contact and responded. First it seemed as if he was really interested in talking to me but then he started insinuating to hook up , I always made it clear to him i didn’t want to be friends with benefits and that I wouldn’t be his friend ,however he would text me very often still wanting to hook up, or some other days he would talk to me as if we were still together and saying he would always take care of me, he would then text me every day just to talk about anything, one day I saw he had been online on WhatsApp for a very long time and he hadn’t messaged me all day so a part of me wondered if there was some other girl he was probably talking to, so I decided to ask and to my surprise he answered I had seen someone but it’s nothing official, i thought it meant he had probably just gone out once with someone and it was probably no big deal but told him I was not going to be still around when he dated someone else and he texted “I’m a man and I’m single what am I supposed to do”
So I told him to please leave me alone that i wasn’t going to put up with that and to please stop talking to me
The next day he started messaging me again asking if I wanted to go have lunch with him , I know it’s stupid but I assumed if he was messaging me it meant he he agreed on what I said earlier and that probably he was now interested in talking and getting me back
So I was doubtful but still agreed on having lunch
We had a really nice time it even felt as if we were still back together he took me back home and kept texting me all day
Two days later I went out with my friends and came across one of his best friends girlfriend she told me she missed me and how stupid he was for letting me go , I then asked if he was seeing someone else
She then told me he had been going out with this girl for almost two months , she told me he even took her to his parents home and they called each other baby or cute nicknames
I freaked out and got so mad I texted him i was done with him , and that I was not going to be fooled again by him, I told him to enjoy his girl and to leave me alone
He told me he felt alone and that he wasn’t going to make her his girlfriend anyway and then started blaming me again for the things that led to our break up
I didn’t reply now it’s been a week with no contact from my end
He has been calling me and texting me but I haven’t answered, however I don’t want to loose him forever if I go on with no contact

Chris Seiter

August 5, 2018 at 2:04 am

Hi Marriane!

6 years together is a good amount of time and that is a positive as a couple puts down some roots that can play to their advantage when they make efforts to bring it back together. I do think given the chaos, NC would be helpful, but knowing how it works and how to maximize the process is something you should learn more about. Go to my home page and explore the tools, ebooks, and other resources there for help

Momo

May 9, 2018 at 11:55 am

Agg. Accidentally broke no contact.

He dumped me.when I tried to define the relationship. He’s a massive commitment phobe in general.
I first did the please, don’t break up with me, crying thing. He felt bad. We continued seeing each other but… He didn’t want to. It just became cycle of him trying to end it each time and then we’d sleep together. I then suddenly snapped out of it and out of the blue for him messaged him a nice I respect your decision, we shouldn’t see each other anymore, genuinely heartfelt good will message.

He read it immediately. Replied after a while. It was equally nice and said I would always have a special place in his heart. He later messaged me, trying to have a convo, saying he was going to miss me. I said I’d miss him too. Ended the convo and implemented NC.

2 days later he liked some of my IG posts. I was surprised. Also a bit happy. I made an IG story 2 days later expecting him to watch it. He didn’t. I caved in and ended up liking one of his IG posts a few days later. And now I’m like ‘Whyyyyyyyy? I just probably undid the grown up text and everything.’

I shouldn’t have caved.

Chris Seiter

May 10, 2018 at 1:43 am

Hi Momo….what is wrong with that dude for dumping you just when you were exploring the relationship boundaries! It is a very normal thing to do. Don’t worry..you didn’t mess anything. Just stick with your NC plan. You should pick up my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” (website Menu/products link) as it walks you through the entire process of everything you should be doing and why and how. Its pretty lengthy, but its full of wonderful tactics and will help improve your chances. So hang in there and follow thru with your plan Momo! Let me know how it goes!

Marie

May 3, 2018 at 11:09 am

Hello,
I have said harsh words that hurt my fiancé’s ego out of frustration and disappointment upon learning that he went out with boys without letting me know. (We’re in a long distance relationship). I started apologizing the next day, he won’t reply to my messages. But I know he was reading them. I have been apologizing for a week which made me appear too desperate. Still, no response from him. Since then, I started no contact. It’s very hard. It’s like I’m going crazy. I am now on my second week of no contact. However, just last night I saw him change his Facebook cover photo, from our photo together to a quote which says: There’s a difference between giving up and knowing I have had enough. I panicked upon seeing that. I almost called him, but I didn’t. I thought no contact will make him miss me? I’m afraid it’s damaging our relationship. Please help me on what to do. Thank you.

P.S. We haven’t really broken up. He just won’t talk to me after he had read my long hurtful message in WhatsApp.

Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 2:12 pm

Hi Marie…thanks for swinging by. We all make mistakes in relationships…plenty of them. So forgive yourself and move on. Its in the past and it can’t be undone. What is important are the things we do in the present. I realize No Contact is hard, but its important. You picked up a copy of my ebook, right (“Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”). Its designed to maximize your chances and help you through the NC period and afterwords. Sorta like your Companion Guide (available at my website Menu/Products section). If you are afraid it is taking your NC in the wrong way, just break it momentarily to explain what you are doing and why….that you are trying to heal and work on being the best version of yourself. An abbreviated NC would probably be best here. Right now, his anger and resentment is probably clouding his mind. But that will subside in time and more normal reactions will come into play. Also consider my Private Facebook Support Group Community (1500 members – mostly women) as it really helps a lot of women with their breakup struggles. Let me know how it goes Marie!

Sapfo

April 22, 2018 at 6:51 pm

Hey, Amor! My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago, I immediately went NC (I’m finishing next week and have it all planned out but) At first, he was really sad, he was talking to everyone about it, drinking all the time, even though he’s on an excavation trip (he’s an archaeologist) with his university team. I already had booked tickets to go see him so I went to this country but visited a friend instead and continued strictly on NC. Then, we went out with a bunch of guys he doesn’t know, they uploaded a picture of all of us together and he saw it and deleted me from Facebook, he also deleted my sister and my best friend and got his best friend to delete me too. He’s really angry and says it was great letting me go (not to me, to his friends), which I don’t really believe. We had a very passionate and strong relationship, lasted about a year, we both made significant changes to each other’s lives and I know it for a fact he can’t get over it so soon. We’ve been through very difficult times and always got over it, now we just got too jealous and he was far away so he felt pressured. But I think he won’t reply or he seriously doesn’t want to get back together, and I don’t know what’s your take on that. Should I give it up, do I have any chances since he’s acting that way? Or text the original first text message as it’s planned to?
Thank you, because either way, I’m doing great on becoming UG, I mostly keep positive vibes and I’ve picked up on new activities and everything, so I’m okay with not getting back together, even though I want it very much.
You are great and keep up the great work of helping so many women, because you do and you’re different than the other sites out there!!
Love

Chris Seiter

April 22, 2018 at 10:29 pm

Hi Sapfo…its a good sign that the two of you have sorta been down this road before and came out the other side. Obviously, he is going through a lot of emotions and that can sometimes make people rash in their decisions. Stick with the plan as laid out in my ebook. I think with a bit more time, his emotions will start tugging on his heart and he will be responsive to your outreach. I am proud of you for you seeking to become the Ungettable Girl and rebuilding your own life. That is the most important part of the ex recovery process. And by the way, if you feel like you need some ongoing support, check out my Private Facebook Support Group. I have about 1500 people in the Group now and they are getting a lot out of it. Just go to website Menu/Products link to learn more! Let me know how things progress for you!

SCARLET AVILA

March 19, 2018 at 11:29 pm

HI AMOR MY HUSAND DECIDED TO END THINGS WITH ME ALMOST 3 MONTHS AGO. WE HAVE CONTACT BECAUSE WE HAVE KIDS TOGETHER. OUR RELATIONSHIP LASTED 8 YEARS AND MARRIED FOR 4 YEARS. LAST MONTH HE ASKED ME FOR FORGIVENESS AND SAID HE MISSED ME AND LOVED ME, BUT TOOK IT ALL BACK THE NEXT DAY SATTING HE WAS CONFUSED AND NEEDED TIME TO THINK. ITS BEEN GOING ON LIKE THIS FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND HONESTLY I HAVE TO ADMIT I DID MY BEGGING AND CRYING AND HAVE ON AND ON FAILED AT THE NO CONTACT RULE. TODAY 03/19/2018 I STARTED THE NO CONTACT RULE AGAIN AND IF I DO HAVE TO TALK TO HIM I WILL KEEP IT TO JUST CONVERSATION ABOUT OUR KIDS. ANY ADVISE FOR ME
PLEASE ANYTHING WOULD HELP

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 25, 2018 at 4:16 pm

Hi Scarlet,

Yup, only keep it about your kids. How active are you in improving yourself?

Hannah

March 3, 2018 at 9:37 pm

Hello! My girlfriend broke up with me 5 weeks ago. She would text me and call me every day since the break up. We saw each other 5 times in 2 weeks where she acted as if nothing had happened. She kissed me every time and told me that she loves me but that she needs to be alone. So I started NC 2 weeks ago because I couldn’t take it anymore. I sent her a text telling her that I needed space so I wasn’t going to answer to any of her texts or calls. Still, she’s been texting me 3 times a week about stupid things, to see what I’m up to or to tell me that she misses me. She called a couple of times too. I’ve ignored every single one of them. A couple of days ago she sends another text telling me to pick up because it was an emergency. I did. She told me that she needed help moving and I was her last resource. I refused because I’m not ready to see her and I know there are other people who can help her. She got mad and then she texted me saying that that was it for good and she won’t contact me ever again. This was too much for me because I’m still in love with her so I blocked her number to try to protect myself. Everything hurts. What should I do? Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 7, 2018 at 12:43 pm

Hi Hannah,

You did the right thing because she doesn’t respect your feelings..how active are you in improving yourself and in posting?

Crzna

March 1, 2018 at 12:30 pm

Hello !

I read your articles and i started my no contact and within maybe 20or22hrs later i messaged him saying i will be waiting when he needs his space to do some navigting and i will be there to make difference and i would do anything in my power that the love we shared doesn’t die. And is not forgotten from the face of the earth,… during my no contact… should i continue my NC or should i message him again to talk to me and if he don’t respond so i can start my NC properly again ? He hasn’t contact me or texted me since 8days… will i lose him if i messaged once by mistake during my no contact ? I don’t want to lose him.. Please help.

Thank you..

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2018 at 2:48 pm

NOpe.. don’t let him think you’re just there waiting and chasing after him.. check this one:
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

ary

February 23, 2018 at 5:30 am

I want to know if EXBR will help my situation:

– We were having a lot of fights starting September 2017, when he started dental school.
– We decided in January 2018, that we would talk about issues before they festered.
– I took it too far and lectured/nagged about everything. We were having small arguments several times a month, and big arguments about twice a month.
– Last Thursday (Feb 15), we had a minor argument and he did the ONE thing I have asked him several times not to do: say he doesn’t want to talk, and then turn off his phone without waiting for my reply.
– I told him I wanted to break up, then deactivated all my social media.
– Friday morning, I saw he had blocked me, and got anxious. I told him I wanted to talk to him in person, so I travelled to his city (2 hours away by bus), and convinced him to give us another shot.
– Boyfriend says he feels that he does not love me anymore. He agrees that he loved me Thursday morning, and the week before, and the week before that, but he is not happy with me.
– I stayed over at his house until Tuesday night, and came back to my home. I have maintained limited contact with him (about 3-5 texts a day, asking each other how our days went).
– Today, I called him to chat with him for a couple minutes before I went out with friends.
– He said he had something to say, and it was that he felt really happy not having much contact with me for the past 2 days. He said that he felt upset and sad whenever I answered his texts, even though it was very limited.
– I said that was fine, and that I had a great couple of days as well, just focusing on myself and my friends. I asked him if he’d like to talk about this another time.
– Boyfriend said “Yeah, how about tomorrow night?” I said maybe, and that I’ll have to see if my plans with friends are solid or not.
– We hung up, and he said “I love you”, and I said “I love you too”. But, I feel that he only said it out of a sense of guilt.

I desperately need him back. I am currently using self-help books to analyze my confrontational argument style, and working on spending time with friends and trying to find a new hobby to start.

But I need him back. Will your program help me? Is it applicable in a situation where my boyfriend has EXPLICITLY SAID “I don’t feel that I love you anymore”???

Thank you…

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 9:59 am

Hi Ary,

check this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

Rosie

February 22, 2018 at 3:30 pm

I think I messed my chances up of having a friendship/potential more in the future with my ex by leaving the no contact too late… is it too late?. we broke up about 2 and half months ago. After we broke up we continued to be friends and met up for five days as he lives far away, things did happen and he said he would contemplate getting back together if he moved closer which he is looking in to. We also went on holiday together. Everything was fine and we were speaking every other day. Then about 5 weeks ago he stopped contacting me as much and It scared me.I began to get more obsessive and needy something I was trying to avoid, and messaged him a few times if he didn’t respond, he would still respond but not as attentive as before.He was still contacting me silly things untill about three weeks ago.Then About three weeks ago I even mentioned getting my stuff and he just replied what.. I messaged a few times after that but he didn’t even read my messages. I have started no contact since then… I really do not want to lose him in my life. I am happy to be just friends but he is very important to me… what can I do?. is it too late?.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2018 at 4:21 pm

Hi Rosie,

That’s good that you started nc..don’t chase. Check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Marie

February 9, 2018 at 9:25 am

My comment don’t stay on, I really need your help.

Hey amor, i think i made a big mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over. At first he said that he still loved me, but the second time he broke up he said, he didn’t love me anymore. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince him to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I sent him this email but I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered, and I’m improving myself” kind of way.

Do you think those two things killed my chances of getting him back? Did I give him one last dose by answering to his message and stopped his addiction? Was trying to rationalise the break up and talking about it again the worst? (I did feel like I needed to do it to stop obsessing over it, but it made him think about the bad things again, instead of letting him miss me)

He answered to the mail and basically he told me he didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore as at the beginning. He looked pretty sure about the break up. Is there any chance left?
There are still some stuff I want to tell him, that maybe he was wrong on, and that they could have changed with time and effort. Should I reply, to let him think a bit on them? Or should i just go in no contact, with the risk of him thinking I agree,and he made the right decision, or worst that I am so heartbroken (which i am) that i can’t reply?
If I do go in NC, do I tell him?

Please help me, I am drowning in my own mind!
Do you guys do personal coaching?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 12:20 pm

Hi Marie,

Nc rule is not guaranteed to work in any situation but it helps increase your chances. If you’re going to stay in talking with him, you’ll probably end up being friendzoned. You have to restart the count and you can send a clean slate message before restarting nc. You can tell you understand his decision now and thank him for everything but don’t tell him you’re doing nc. Do at least 30 days.

mary

February 9, 2018 at 1:11 am

Hey amor, i think i made a big mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over. At first he said that he still loved me, but the second time he broke up he said, he didn’t love me anymore. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince him to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I sent him this email but I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered, and I’m improving myself” kind of way.

Do you think those two things killed my chances of getting him back? Did I give him one last dose by answering to his message and stopped his addiction? Was trying to rationalise the break up and talking about it again the worst? (I did feel like I needed to do it to stop obsessing over it, but it made him think about the bad things again, instead of letting him miss me)

He answered to the mail and basically he told me he didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore as at the beginning. He looked pretty sure about the break up and not loving me anymore. Is there any chance left that he could somehow change his mind on that?
There are still some stuff I want to tell him, that maybe he was wrong on, and that they could have changed with time and effort. Should I reply, to let him think a bit on them? Or should i just go in no contact, with the risk of him thinking I agree,and he made the right decision, or worst that I am so heartbroken (which i am) that i can’t reply?
If I do go in NC, do I tell him?

Please help me, I am drowning in my own mind!
Do you guys do personal coaching?
mary

February 8, 2018 at 7:18 pm

Hey amor, i think i made a big mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over. At first he said that he still loved me, but the second time he broke up he said, he didn’t love me anymore. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince him to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I sent him this email but I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered, and I’m improving myself” kind of way.

Do you think those two things killed my chances of getting him back? Did I give him one last dose by answering to his message and stopped his addiction? Was trying to rationalise the break up and talking about it again the worst? (I did feel like I needed to do it to stop obsessing over it, but it made him think about the bad things again, instead of letting him miss me)

He answered to the mail and basically he told me he didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore as at the beginning. He looked pretty sure about the break up. Is there any chance left?
There are still some stuff I want to tell him, that maybe he was wrong on, and that they could have changed with time and effort. Should I reply, to let him think a bit on them? Or should i just go in no contact, with the risk of him thinking I agree,and he made the right decision, or worst that I am so heartbroken (which i am) that i can’t reply?
If I do go in NC, do I tell him?

Please help me, I am drowning in my own mind!
Do you guys do personal coaching?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 12:33 pm

Chris does one on one calls for a fee. If you’re interested, just comment back your preferred email and I won’t publish it and will just reply in your other comments.

Marie

February 8, 2018 at 3:41 pm

Hey amor, i think i made a big mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over. At first he said that he still lived me, but the second time he broke up he said, he didn’t love me anymore. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I sent him this email but I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered, and I’m improving myself” kind of way.

Do you think those two things killed my chances of getting him back? Did I give him one last dose by answering to his message and stopped his addiction? Was trying to rationalise the break up and talking about it again the worst? (I did feel like I needed to do it to stop obsessing over it, but it made him think about the bad things again, instead of letting him miss me)

He answered to the mail and basically he told me he didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore as at the beginning. He looked pretty sure about the break up. Is there any chance left?
There are still some stuff I want to tell him, that maybe he was wrong on, and that they could have changed with time and effort. Should I reply, to let him think a bit on them? Or should i just go in no contact, with the risk of him thinking I agree,and he made the right decision, or worst that I am so heartbroken (which i am) that i can’t reply?
If I do go in NC, do I tell him?

Please help me, I am drowning in my own mind!
Do you guys do personal coaching?
Marie

February 8, 2018 at 3:02 pm

Hey amor,
I have tried to post this comment already but it keeps disappearing, so don’t hesitate to delete if there is a duplicate.

Hey Amor,
i think i made a big mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over. at first, he said that he still loved me, but then not. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I sent him this email but I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered, and I’m improving myself” kind of way.

Do you think those two things killed my chances of getting him back? Did I give him one last dose by answering to his message and stopped his addiction? Was trying to rationalise the break up and talking about it again the worst? (I did feel like I needed to do it to stop obsessing over it, but it made him think about the bad things again, instead of letting him miss me, it made him think that it was the right thing to do)

He answered to the mail and basically he told me he didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore as at the beginning. He looked pretty sure about the break up. Is there any chance left? There are still some stuff i want to tell him he is wrong about, and it could have been okay with time. Should i ( to give him a chance to think about it), or should I go in NC with the risk of him thinking i agree and he made the decision, or worst that I am heartbroken over the reply ( which I am)?
If I do go in NC, do i tell him?

Please help me, I am drowning in my own mind and missing him so much
Marie

February 8, 2018 at 2:52 pm

I have posted this comment already but it keeps disappearing, don’t hesitate to delete the other ones.

Hey amor, i think i made a mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I sent him this email but I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered, and I’m improving myself” kind of way.

Do you think those two things killed my chances of getting him back? Did I give him one last dose by answering to his message and stopped his addiction? Was trying to rationalise the break up and talking about it again the worst? (I did feel like I needed to do it to stop obsessing over it, but it made him think about the bad things again, instead of letting him miss me)

He answered to the mail and basically he told me he didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore as at the beginning. He looked pretty sure about the break up. Is there any chance left? There are still some stuff I want to correct from what he said, should I , or should I go in no contact with the risk of him thinking I agree and he made the right decision? If I do go in nc, do I tell him?
Please help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 11:41 am

Hi Marie,

Nc rule is not guaranteed to work in any situation but it helps increase your chances. If you’re going to stay in talking with him, you’ll probably end up being friendzoned. You have to restart the count and you can send a clean slate message before restarting nc. You can tell you understand his decision now and thank him for everything but don’t tell him you’re doing nc. Do at least 30 days.

Marie

February 8, 2018 at 1:38 pm

Hey amor, i think i made a big mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over. At first, he said he still loved, but then no more. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I sent him this email but I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered, and I’m improving myself” kind of way.

Do you think those two things killed my chances of getting him back? Did I give him one last dose by answering to his message and stopped his addiction? Was trying to rationalise the break up and talking about it again the worst? (I did feel like I needed to do it to stop obsessing over it, but it made him think about the bad things again, instead of letting him miss me)

He answered to the mail and basically he told me he didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore as at the beginning. He looked pretty sure about the break up. Is there any chance left?
Please help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 11:41 am

Hi Marie,

Nc rule is not guaranteed to work in any situation but it helps increase your chances. If you’re going to stay in talking with him, you’ll probably end up being friendzoned. You have to restart the count and you can send a clean slate message before restarting nc. You can tell you understand his decision now and thank him for everything but don’t tell him you’re doing nc. Do at least 30 days.

Anne

February 8, 2018 at 3:15 am

Amor,
To answer your question I have been in nc almost one month. I am still unsure if he is worth recontacting, as he didn’t value me the way I deserved and he has really hurt me. I know I was right to cut him off. I am just worried my firm last impression I left him with would taint his respect for me. On the other hand I’m worried that reaching out to make peace would make me look like a doormat. I’m not sure what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 11:59 am

You had a normal reaction. He probably understands that and if you are actively posting in social media and he can see that you’re happy, then he will think you’re moving on and if you initiate contact, he will probably just think you’re not that angry anymore and just being friendly.

Mary

February 7, 2018 at 6:16 pm

Hey amor, i think i made a mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over, that he didn’t love me anymore. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince him to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered” kind of way

Hey amor, i think i made a mistake ( or two!). here is my situation: my ex broke up with me two weeks ago. He said that he had thought about it through and was feeling like we didn’t have a future together and wanted to be over. We talked for a long time about it, I tried to convince to give me more time, I begged but he was sure. We spent one last day together, ( very nice and loving but sad of course) and as I was living with him in his country and when he broke up, I went back to mine. We talked via text for a day. then I had been implementing nc for eight days when he sent me a message to know how I was and say thanks for me telling our friends to take care of him. I waited a couple of days to answer, to be sure. He hadn’t say anything about me ignoring him and he even said to a friend I was hanging out with to tell me hi ( like I hope she is OK and I don’t give a damn she is not answering). I then answered because I had seen on another site that when you are a long distance from your ex no contact is not the best, and I am really not sure it would work on him because he really wanted the break up and he has lots to do with his days and he is not the type to obsess over me not replying, and to try to show him I had moved on and was doing good, having friends and everything ( what he had reproached me). The talk was chitchatty, nothing more.
Also I had been writing my feelings about the break up down, because at first I thought that if I could rationally show him that his feeling of no future was just temporary, and that it would get better ( when I could find new friends and a job in his town) that I would make him realise that he had made a mistake. I sent him this email but I didn’t want to beg again so I presented more in a “I want to move on, and have my questions answered, and I’m improving myself” kind of way.

Do you think those two things killed my chances of getting him back? Did I give him one last dose by answering to his message and stopped his addiction? Was trying to rationalise the break up and talking about it again the worst? (I did feel like I needed to do it to stop obsessing over it, but it made him think about the bad things again, instead of letting him miss me)

He answered to the mail and basically he told me he didn’t have the same feelings for me anymore as at the beginning. He looked pretty sure about the break up. Is there any chance left?
Please help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 11:41 am

Hi Marie,

Nc rule is not guaranteed to work in any situation but it helps increase your chances. If you’re going to stay in talking with him, you’ll probably end up being friendzoned. You have to restart the count and you can send a clean slate message before restarting nc. You can tell you understand his decision now and thank him for everything but don’t tell him you’re doing nc. Do at least 30 days.

Anne

February 4, 2018 at 7:20 pm

Hi Amor,
I was seeing someone for 6 months and he broke up with me a couple weeks ago for the second time. He always said how much he adored me, that I was like a drug for him – but he became bored with the relationship and said there was not enough attractive tension or challenge. The first time I was hurt but stayed dignified, and went no contact immediately. He begged for me back and I allowed it, but the same thing happened 2 months later. This time I showed my anger and cut him off. I left him a very short message immediately and was a little rude (I mildly insulted him and told him no to friendship). I have been in no contact since then and he has not tried to contact me like the last time.

I know he has been very hurt by this and thinks he’s lost me forever; he has withdrawn completely on social media which is odd for him since he posts a lot. I on the other hand, have been active and posting happy things and fun pictures. I may have overdone it a little. Recently he posted for the first time since the breakup – it sounded like forced happiness and was over-the-top egotistical, and he subtly insulted something I posted about. He always liked my graciousness and kindness, and I am worried my rudeness just confirmed that he shouldn’t be with me. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2018 at 1:17 pm

Hi Anne,

How long have you been in nc?

Raha

February 3, 2018 at 12:30 pm

Hi Amor, I’ve heard about you alot and am so thankful for your time and concerns
so I’ve been in a relationship for 30 months and was preparing for my wedding when my ex broke up with me about 4 months ago. He said he needed some time because he doesn’t give me the attention I deserve.
I’ve found out he was dating some girl 2 months ago and got so upset but he promised me that he loved me and that he will make things ok. he dated the girl for almost 2 months but eventually they broke up.
I’ve tried so hard to make him come back but we are getting further each day.
Now I’ve decieded to try NC and am in the day 1 but he keeps texting me asking why do i hate him so much, and the text aren’t really friendly.
I’m so scared and confused. Should the NC be COMPLETE ignorance or not replying or talking can do?
I think nothing can fix our relationship but am so hurt and really want him to appreciate what I’ve given him all this time.
please help me, I’m so miserable now!
with lots of love ❤

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2018 at 12:54 pm

HI Raha,

send him a clean slate message and then restart nc.. Tell him being friends is working for you right now, and then thank him for everything.

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