The Worst Nightmares During No Contact And How To Handle Them

476 thoughts on “Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule”

Woho

January 17, 2017 at 12:24 pm

Hi Amor,
I have been dating my ex for about 1.5 years and known him for 2. im completely in love with him, and understand i became needy and clingy. He have broken up with me at least 5 times, me 2 times. This not because we dont love each other but because we have a hard time communicating and are fighting over silly things. I feel mostly im defending myself but have realised I dont always listen good either. Or we dont see eye to eye in things. I can except that but he has a hard time excepting me having another opinion. Every time after saying we should brake up we got back together right away (not moving away from each other) but last time he broke up with me I went. I was sad about the whole ting but I had pleaded and begged so many times that I felt this time I had to go. And he wanted me to. Saying he loves me but cant handle the fighting and arguing. We live in 2 different countries and have been going in and out living with each other because we have always had problems with visa etc. The last month we had some arguments over the phone where he basically said its my fault he broke up with me (we broke up a month ago). Pushing him hard so he reacted this way and got really mad. that I should understand that my actions have an outcome and take responsibility for his actions which I think is silly and wrong. Sure I know I need to work on communications but its not my fault he say mean things or break up with me. We came into the friend zone agreeing not to argue anymore. He is an amazing man in many ways and we have been talking on the phone every day since I left his country (I lived with him for 6months/2 months/3months and then 2 months, with brakes in between because of visa,before we broke up) I have now started the no contact rule being on day 3. Last time we talked he said he didnt have time to speak as much as we normally do on the phone (every morning and every night) because he was tired and needed to have time to deal with his daily things. He works alot of hours every day/6 days a week. I said i understand and that he is my best friend, I will help him in any way I can. that was the last thing we texted each other and I started the no contact rule. I dindnt say to him i couldnt do the friend thing, I just disappeared and stopped answering his texts. He has texted me every day since i started the NC. and today he said good bye in a text. Did I do wrong in just cutting him off without any explanation or telling him that I cant be friends only after we have already entered the friend zone? We both love each other deeply and I know he loves me, just dont want to argue anymore. I also believe he has alot of trust issues so he becomes controlling,manipulating and critical in a way I have never experienced before. I also thing he has things to deal with himself. I am a very independent woman, but think I have relaxed alot since I meet him which I think neither of us likes. Should I keep going with the NC rule or should I say to him that I cant be friends only and then start the NC rule again? He has a hard time changing and I would like him to work on it with me. But he has a hard time with it. I am also aware that if he still doesnt want to be with me or work on us being together after a no contact rule I will move on. Im worth being with someone who treats me in a good way, I know also I have things to work on to. Also his birthday is coming up 2 weeks after I would finish a 21 day NC. Should I only do 21 days? and then have time to say Happy birthday without him thinking its only why i contacted him? I thing he will be very sad If i dont contact him on his BD. Also he is the most stubborn man I have ever meet so I am a little concerned he will not talk to me after this NC because I just stopped abruptly? And he has a son from before not living with him that is very sick. If something would happen to his son should I break the NC rule to be a support for him? Gosh many questions…but I would be very thankful for the answers and help 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2017 at 8:02 pm

Hi Woho,

for on and off relationships, we usually recommend at least 45 days or more..So, try 45 days.. Check the link below for birthdays..
EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule

Kate

January 17, 2017 at 3:07 am

I deleted the post( the conversation is about :I told my friend if I don’t want a relationship I will just being quiet, slightly and not proactive, so when my partner cant stand it he will say break up to me, seems im the one dumped but actually no…..)before he saw the conversation.

Because im not sure if it will help to let him feel he was actually the one dumped, since the reason he broke up with me because he felt I trivialized his feelings , I went out with friends but didn’t meet him.sometimes I didn’t reply his msgs. he didn’t feel needed and admired at all even not respected. He is the one have strong emotion, sensitive and has high self esteem, stubborn and want to be respected.

I guess I need your suggestion, is it wise to post a conversation of me with my friend, and can it let him reaslies he was the one dumped or it will make things worse because he felt it was tricky and I was doing something bad so think im ridiculous and hurt his self-esteem then he even wont talk to me anymore?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2017 at 6:11 pm

well not the conversations, jut your activities with friends.. if you went out to eat with friends, post a photo of you and your friends eating together, or playing, or walking or singing.. make it normal posts..

Jennifer

January 15, 2017 at 9:20 pm

Hello,

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago now and he says he needs to work on himself and doesn’t want to be with me until he can figure things out. He says he just wants to be friends with me and I moved out into some of our friends house and he trys to come over all the time and hang out with our friends, he says he doesn’t want to lead me on by being there or being friendly with me. I just started the new contact about a week ago and he hasn’t reached out to contact me, but like I said he keeps asking our friends if he can come over to the place where I’m staying almost every day. He cheated on me and I had a hard time not brining it up when I got mad, then he would keep reaching out to other woman and I have just become super jealous and I feel like I can’t trust him. But he still broke up with me and I feel like he’s not taking responsibilitie for what he did to me even though I forgave him I just wanted to feel secure and be able to trust him again and he just broke up with me instead. Every time he’s around me he seems to be super irritated with me I still think he’s angry about everything. I’m so confused that he wants to be around me all the time but says he doesn’t want to lead me on. I’ve been trying to enjoy myself and post positive things and social media and according to our friends he’s making snide accusations about what I’m really doing. He’s also been reaching out to other woman for attention and saying snide things to them about me. Idk if I have a chance or what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 16, 2017 at 5:54 pm

Hi Jennifer,

Since he always comes at your friend’s house, Check this out:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Kate

January 15, 2017 at 8:01 am

Hey Amor I have done something tricky today, I think you are right, when people are dumped they will always want to get the relationship back, and the reason why I was dumped because he thought I ignored him and he wasn’t felt admired and accomplishment.

Yesterday<, I found he liked the page on facebook, it is called how to dumping your gf with yout heeadbutt( something like this) and im sure he liked this page many years again(not for this time he broke up with me) also he told me before he only had two serious relationship( one is 3 months the other one is 1 year) he is 23 now. So I may think he is a type of guy who is bad at relationship….and I m the one initiate to contact him after broke up, so he is the one stuck up and even unconcerned me.

So I posted a screencut of the conversation I had with a male friend….. he asked me how to break up with a girl without hurting her. I told him: if I don’t want a relationship, I will be quiet, slightly or not being productive then your partner will feel upset and angry, when they cant stand it they say break up to you initiative,…….and he replied: seems you’re the one dumped but actually no!!

So my ex can see the whole conver via my post. ………..and he will think I was the one didn’t meet him didn’t flirt him anymore, although he said broke up with me and he was being very sorry. Actually he was the one dumped. I admit I m playing a psycho game here, ………do you thihnk it will work, according to he is a stubborn, high self-esteem, insecure, emotional , sensitive and Masculinity guy.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2017 at 6:42 pm

actually, it would be better if you post activities, so that he would think you’re moving on..

Kate

January 14, 2017 at 4:32 pm

okya Amor thank you so much for being repliying my msgs now I want to contact the 30 CN ……………….i feell so upset and i need to improvemyslef also i only can access this on laptop but only for the certain item like attracting men ,,,,, cheating,,,and other ones i cant read it at all on website on llaptop. i will have to read them on my phone lol ..but I will .wait to see our web on line and wont care if you adopt my real expereince and to tell other women friends ….I hope all of the women friends cn get their true love ……….

anyway i will wait and now i wont talk to him anymore I will let you know what wikk happen in 30 days : )

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2017 at 5:11 pm

You’re welcome Kate.. don’t just wait.. be productive during and after the no contact period

Kate

January 14, 2017 at 4:12 am

Kate honestly Im a bit of tired now………….and also since we have broken up, he has never initiate to contact me, he is a stubborn guy( star signs of Tauras), and He used to said he need time to trust people or something(his parents divorced when he was 4, and he had lived with his dad and his stepmom) I think that has been influencing his characters for a bit) he is insecure and like thinking too much but without communicating with me……..and also he is a bit negative algthough he always appear like he is happy but I suppose in the depth of his mind, it is not actually like that…………..now I m ready to the 21-30 NC again….

but one thing I really want to know : when I asked him: not sure if you are interested ot not when you have time, I may will invite you for a small trip in my hometown, he responded: maybe, it could be fun…… so does it mean he was just being polite or hei s just not sure or in this case it is silly to say like : yes I wll go with you ………. becasue I also said I MAY lol

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 14, 2017 at 4:01 pm

I think he’s just really not sure..

Kate

January 13, 2017 at 1:27 pm

Hey Amor! I really didnt understand him, I think he was teasing me but When I asked him what did he housemate said why he laughed in that video he said he had no idea…… and yea I asked him :” not sure if you are interested or not (I was trying to apply the sales man tech but I guess I didnt use it well lol ) and if you have time I may will invite you to my hometown for a small trip….. he replied: maybe, it could be fun. and the whole day when i was talking to him he was always replying very neutral, like haha blha blah, never a long msg, so it demotivated me, and obvioulsy I had lots to say to him but he didnt, although he replied immediately.

and one thing was a bit strange. the last day when we sent msg in a raw, we were like 50%& 50% so the other I stopped sending msgs to him, after the day we both posted the “juice things” after this day (two days after no msgs) I commented on that juice video he didnt reply, I sent his msg that night he didint reply, he replied me the next morning told me he was sleeping, he was very tired. and I asked did he party hard, he said no, I was teasing him: maybe you had tooo much “fun” before sleep , he said no, he just wanted to let me know he was tired, and the day we talked a whole day. but yea very neutral and then the final msg i sent to him was inviting him for a small trip……I imagine he was meeting a girl, and maybe he likes her lots but she didnt fancy talk to him anymore ? so he upset………. I dunno if I think too much or not,,,,,,,,what you think the ………………..I guess im on the rebound, i dont feel hurt now,but when I think about if he meet new girls I will still feel upset.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 13, 2017 at 4:48 pm

Ah if that’s the case, rest from initiating for now..maybe 3-5 days.. if he has a rebound, you’ll know that. So, dont worry too much..

Kate

January 12, 2017 at 3:36 am

Hi Amor , two days ago we texted msg, and he texted me msg as normal, and I ended in his questioin like he asked me what kind of movie I was refer to, after that day i didint talk to him,but in the moring I posted my brunch and it was with a glass of orange juice , it was the instant one, in the afternoon he posted a video: he was squeesing the orange juice by the blender and said: finally the real orange juice, and also his house mate said something like my name, and my ex laughed.. like: my name + trying for a bit.. I didint response to him ,(three day talked in a row one day didnt ), yesterday I I asked him what his housemate said, he said his honestly not sure what his roomate said! what the heck? they were together they are both british.! and his texts are all like haha okay haha im not sure etc …more shorter than one day (NC) before. ….i was going to arouse his something then asked him if got the haircut he wanted, he said yes , I asked what does it look like, he said the same with the first time we met……… I compliment his haircut but still he response like haha thanks, blah blah, finally after he said his heading bed, i sent a msg to him and said not sure if he is interested and have time during the winter holiday I may will invite him to my hometown for a small trip, becasue I feel like he wants me to ask him out,……since we have broken up i asked him once he said can do…but I didint ask him again……………the reason why he broke up is also becasue I was not initiative meet him…….but I feel better these days,,,,,,,I mgoing to meet another guy who I met before I met ex bf……but still I have feelings for ex……so not sure if you have ideasfrom his reaction, whats his attitude now/……..is he just in the down hill stage ? if you think he is really not interested in me I will give up on it then /……………………

Kate

January 12, 2017 at 4:44 am

also finally he replied me: maybe , it could be funny (responding to I may will invite him to my hometown if he is interested)
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 13, 2017 at 12:16 pm

you invited him and his response is maybe he can go? I think it was positive that he posted a video teasing your orange post. You should have reacted and joked with them. But right now, don’t ask again for meet up, continue texting to build more rapport first.
Kate

January 12, 2017 at 3:37 am

and also we didint have high points yesterday although he replied me very quick

Kate

January 11, 2017 at 12:49 pm

No Amor! the reason why he broke up with me becasue I was toooo not clingy he complaint I didnt meet him often and flirt him anymore etc. he thought I trivlialised his feelings, but after we broke up I realised my flaut so yea Im proactive to talk with me, but I guess untill I m getting bored of it, then I will be full recovered lol

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2017 at 2:11 pm

ah..ok, then initiate more..that’s ok..as long as you’re the one ending the conversations in high point

Kate

January 11, 2017 at 1:15 am

Ahhh no Amor, we were just fighting once, but other times we have some fun and good conversations, also I have read another article on this web. was about how to make ex commit to you ? and Chris was talking about men need to be admired, if he saw you have fun with other people and guys he wont feel accmplishment , and wont feel needed. I think i was the one didint make him admired then he felt out of love even he told me he didint fall in love me………

But if I like someone I want to talk to him often , be close to him and if he doesnt talk to me even reply me msg later I will care and mind it. so thats the psycho when you like someone, or just for me. normally when I said broke up to guys, I wont talk to him after broke up but finally after a few weeks or a month or later, they will talk to me and say something like miss me and i was the best thing in their life, I normally treat my ex bfs really well and i was so thoutful, but I dumping them, they feel lost freedom. but this time my ex said broke up with me, Im the one dumped, so I guess he wont miss me, although I treated him good as well…………

or maybe I have posted some fun or good life pics a bit often so he thinks I dont really need him becasue my life can be really good without him, also thast why he broke up with me:(
Im confused ………………..

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2017 at 8:52 am

Hi Kate,

I think the bottomline is he broke up with you because you’re clingy.. you’re other exes came back talking to you because you weren’t chasing after the break up..

Kate

January 9, 2017 at 1:23 am

I think your PRO works for me, if I dont follow your PRO I will never understand what the man think about and his psycho, I will always think my way but probably wrong , aslo I will be anxious and impatient. since I have been following your PRO. I have got my plan in my mind and sonetimes Im confident to get him back. but I dont understand what the “pettern” you mean here.
I have seen “how to get your ex commit to you” and it mentioned that men need to be admired, if the girl go out with others dont meet the guy often or sometghing like that he wont be feel admired and feel unneeded, he will feel out of love, i think thats the reason why my ex broke up with me, now when I text him he will reply me back and in time, what I do is in control dont reply him immediately or end the conver on high tide……..but what I worry about is he may think Im the same, i havent changed, becasue I used to ignored his msg, and trivialise his feelings sometimes which he disliked. so in this circumstance, what should I do, I want to meet him in person the week after next week so I need to still build the attraction and rapport, i do really hope to get him back !

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2017 at 4:13 pm

oh, what I meant is that he’s just used to talking to you, you’ve always been fighting, so it’s just something he’s used to doing too.. if you keep talking, you’ll probably just keep fighting too.. if he wants to date others, he will do it even if you kept talking because you’e not really having great conversations..it’s mostly fighting.. yes, you’ve done no contact but it was only 19 days right? And you broke it when you saw him on tinder, which looks like chasing..for him to be attracted back, you have to change first..19 days is not enough for that and did you keep improving yourself currently?

Kate

January 8, 2017 at 5:22 am

hey Amor! yesterday when I sent him a msg saying: my cousin like the same band with him, and it remind me a tshirt of him. he replied: he didint say anything from my msgs , but after that we fight, evne for the things happened when we were togteher, i said I was tired of being with you becasue I was angry when I was msging him, he said finally, glad to know you tell me the truth now . I was pissed off and replied also you complaint me I didint ask you out, I was the one alwasy asked you first when I stopped you were complainting me but did you asked me out first, he said it was his fault and he didint pay attentionon it. the I said something rude and he sent somegthing rude back. i told him i was g oing to get uo back together but now I dont want becasue of your reaction. I told him pls dont send me msg again, i dont want to see your msg now ! but he still sent, finally we ended by good night msgs. i dont understand why we still fight, and I dont see if I restart the 30 NV it will have a positive result becasue along with the time going he will find another girl I dont want to make the gaps . is it a good thing or bad thing we flight last night? after broke up one month, and also after we broke up when I msg him he will always reply me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 8, 2017 at 9:30 pm

Hi Kate,

it’s a pattern.. if you keep talking would that stop him from dating others?

F.L

January 7, 2017 at 2:13 pm

Hi Amor. I need ur opinion. I just broke up with my ex almost a month ago. He dumped me for someone else. The reason was, she came to his life accidently. He said he loved me but he met her when we were together. we did broke up for 4days, 3 weeks before that. we got back together after the 1st breakups. He said he met this girl during that time (4 days of broke up). and he chose to be with her. Im now on my 27th day of NC. is this a rebound relationship? We were together for 5 months.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 8, 2017 at 1:54 am

Hi Fl,

nope..it’s a grass is greener case.. check this one:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Kate

January 7, 2017 at 4:57 am

Hi Amor! There is someghing new now !I sent him a pic of the funny kids and say something funny about it because he is teaching kids ……. and I said have a confession to make……what I’m gonna say if he reply me is : when I saw that pic you were popped into my head for a while . He replied: hahahahah ( to the funny pic) and then asked me: what is the confession? I didn’t reply him at all after 3-4 hrs he sent me a msg: leaving a suspended now, kinda worried….. 3 hrs later after he sent me this msg I replied him: oh sorry I m busy, I may ues the wrong world( I actually misunderstood the world : confession) Then he replied me very quickly and asked me: it’s okay , what did you want to tell me? I replied after 30 mins: when I saw that pic , you were poppies into my head( Bexuse he teaches kids there is a connection with his job and he told me he likes his job so much )
and he replied: thats nice, is it becasue he teach? I didint reply and I m not going to reply him, becasue it is the first time i sent him msg on day 19 NC and there are 3-4 msgs already so I guess i need to stop! so I didnt replied him after that msg…but he sent me another msg: hope you have fun with your cousinand ened witha smile emoji,( I posted some pics with my cousin ),I replied him todday morning just said Thank you. so Amor can you see something from him, what is his attitude and sypcho? do you think he still care me ?
(he is a seneitive guy and dont like expressing himself he is kinda a melt and nuetral guy he didint things like asked his friend how to do things in a rlationship but he didnit tell me when he found the problem between us) he is the star signs of Taurus

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 7, 2017 at 8:25 pm

That’s ok. If he’s doing nc, he wouldn’t have replied to you or he would have kept the conversation going.. so, right now, restart the count of 30 days and focus in improving yourself. Dont waste time thinking about what he feels our thinks, use the most of this nc to improve yourself because you still have to continue the routine even after nc while building rapport

Kate

January 6, 2017 at 12:36 pm

I sent a pic of the funny kids and say something funny about it because he is teaching kids ……. and I said have a confession to make……what I’m gonna say if he reply me is : when I saw that pic you were popped into my head for a while . He replied: hahahahah ( to the funny pic) and then asked me: what is the confession? I didn’t reply him at all after 3-4 hrs he sent me a msg: leaving a suspended now, kinda worried….. 3 hrs later after he sent me this msg I replied him: oh sorry I m busy, I may ues the wrong world( I actually misunderstood the world : confession) Then he replied me very quickly and asked me: it’s okay , what did you want to tell me? I replied after 30 mins: when I saw that pic , you were poppies into my head( Bexuse he teaches kids there is a connection with his job and he told me he likes his job so much )
and he replied: thats nice, is it becasue he teach? I didint reply and I m not going to reply him, becasue it is the first time i sent him msg on day 19 NC and they are 3-4 msgs already so I guess i need to stop! so Amor can you see something from him, what is his attitude and sypcho? do you think he still care me ?
(he is a seneitive guy and dont like expressing himself he is kinda a melt and nuetral guy he didint things like asked his friend how to do things in a rlationship but he didnit tell me when he found the problem between us) he is tye star signs of Taurus
Kate

January 6, 2017 at 6:59 am

Hey Kate thanks for the reply. I have been but it is really fake I posted some positive pics and fun pics he liked one of my pics, which I changed my look a lot in red color hair, I still feel not happy since I have broken up with him., im trying to meet new guys but Im not motivated so I havent met anyone. I think the reason why he broke with me is because he thought I didint need him, like he asked me to hang out often but i didint do it, this morning I sent him a msg like take care , he didnt reply, and he is a teacher teach kidgarden kids, I sent him a funny pic about kidgarden kids and said someting funny he still deosnt reply me, i m wondering is he doing the NC too, becasue when we were together he told me he had asked his friend like how to develop a relationship and something happened is it normally in a relationship. i guess he has been getting some suggestions from his friend also maybe he is like me found some website like this? anyway i feel upset now there is nothing bad I can think of him when we were together, are all the good things pop into my head.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 7, 2017 at 8:26 pm

That’s ok. If he’s doing nc, he wouldn’t have replied to you or he would have kept the conversation going.. so, right now, restart the count of 30 days and focus in improving yourself. Dont waste time thinking about what he feels our thinks, use the most of this nc to improve yourself because you still have to continue the routine even after nc while building rapport
Kate

January 6, 2017 at 12:39 pm

sorry I meant Hey Amor lol I w as a bit tipsy ……………………….sorry
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 7, 2017 at 8:26 pm

That’s ok. If he’s doing nc, he wouldn’t have replied to you or he would have kept the conversation going.. so, right now, restart the count of 30 days and focus in improving yourself. Dont waste time thinking about what he feels our thinks, use the most of this nc to improve yourself because you still have to continue the routine even after nc while building rapport

Kate

January 6, 2017 at 2:46 am

HI Amor! can you explain “He’s moving on because he wouldn’t be breaking up with you in the first place if he wasn’t starting to” what do you mean if he wasnt starting to starting to what >?

and It is my Day 19 I cant help with myself and then I sent him a msg like “take care” Because he has never sent me a msg frist, and I guess he is moving on and find other girls, it hurts me, I want to give up on him many times, but I cant, I literally feel I was so secure when i was with him, and I have never had the feeling before, I really want to be with him, but since he is on a dating app, I feel upset, i dont him to talk with other girls if he did there are chances for him to dont miss me and finally give up on me.
my best gril friend has told me sometimes i think things in a bad way, like when he said: our relationship is not progressing, i thought he wanted to say lets break up, but when i asked him what do you want to say then, he said lets meet up more often. he may expected me to say: lets meet more often. but I didint, I was trying to explain why i didnt meet him or so. they he said he felt bad becasue after he told me what he thought, it didint help. and the day after that day he was so sure that he wants to be alone now………………….after we broke up, if i sent his msgs he will reply, but were kinda neutral. I feel bad now why he turns too cold so fast, although one week before we broke up he told me he should compliment me more often, becasue I deserve it, actually the “break up ” seed was planting at that time, but I ignored it .

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 6, 2017 at 6:03 am

HI Kate,

You said it yourself, the break up seed was already planted. That’s what I meant with what I said. He broke up because he has started moving on or falling out of love before he even broke up with you. He was just logically and emotionally more sure to do it the day he broke up with you. But you broke nc at day 19, so the count restarts the day after that. Are you actively improving yourself?

Kate

January 3, 2017 at 7:52 am

Today I was on an app the one like tinder, a general dating app i think but also people making friends on it. I SAW HIM on it too ! you know when women look for new guys it doesnt mean we really want that, just becasue we are hurt and want to someone new and moving on. we broke up for 1 month, and im doing the day 16 NC. during the 16 days he was liking a pic of my I posted on social media, (he is a very low key guy 22 years old) he doesnt like posting pics sharing things and liking people’s pics, I have no idea does it mean he wanted me to pay attention on him and talke dto him first? but today I saw him on an app i think he is going to meet new girls, I m upset, although I have been improving posting fun pics and gorgoues selfie, but actually I still miss him want him to talk to me, when he said broke up with me he said we de better to be friends, he said we were together to soon, and also he told me we didint meet up often, I trivialis his feelings sometimes which he didint like, I didint flirt with him anymore, and he said he cant make me happy anymore blah blah ……… does he really give up on us, I want to know the situation I am in, im in this case so im subjetive, anyone or Amor ? can you tell me and using your ssychology knowledge and expereices to tell me ?? Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2017 at 1:48 pm

Hi Kate,

Take it as it is. He’s moving on because he wouldn’t be breaking up with you in the first place if he wasn’t starting to. So, if he sees or talks to you, he has to think you are too. For him to take a chance on starting out friendly.

Linda

December 22, 2016 at 5:07 pm

So i dated my ex boyfriend for a few years. We lost our virginities to each other we were our first loves. Towards the end of our relationship we argued a lot but still overall had a good relationship. He broke up with me saying he wants to experience other girls while we’re still young but im the girl he wants to marry etc. We said we would remain friends and we talked a lot and he sent mixed signals and he told me he wasn’t seeing any other girls. Then i found out in a week of him being single he had sex with another girl and they really like each other. So a couple weeks into us being friends i told him i hope him and this new girl work out and he hasnt talked to me since that message, im getting closer to my nc of 30 days being up but he doesn’t seem like he misses me at all it seems like he really loves his new gf. What should i do? Please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2016 at 2:16 pm

Hi Linda,

I’m not sure if you saw my reply to your first post, so I’m going to paste that here aside from my the link to answer your inquiry above.

Hi Linda,

there’s no guarantee in that.. But the no contact period is more for you to heal and improve.. It’s not just for him to contact or talk to you because you were silent

What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

Motivated

December 10, 2016 at 8:56 pm

This is a really great article Amor.

What you said about if he moves on In a week or two weeks really says a lot about his maturity or level of commitment really helped me.

See when my guy and I were together he said he moved on from his ex of 4years(they were long distance towards the end) and he moved on from her to someone else in like two weeks. Although it was a quite different situation to ours I worry sometimes that he will find a girl after a few weeks…but since he is having trouble with his visa situation I think it is less likely. I told him when we broke up that its unfair what he did to me when he’s uncertain if he is staying here or getting sent back and he should never put someone else through it..he agreed and said he wouldn’t be going for anyone else. Since that last conversation I am on day 17 of NC, I have been keeping occupied, improving and have not broken NC. He hasn’t said anything during NC, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s found someone else right? But if he has I agree with what you said about the levels of maturity/commitment. If he moves on that quickly he is not the type of guy I want anyway.

Motivated

December 12, 2016 at 7:36 pm

Thankyou Amor! You should write more articles, they are very good. It also helps having a women’s point of view with an ex too!
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2016 at 9:27 pm

Awwww! Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2016 at 6:03 pm

Hi Motivated,

Thank you! Not everybody understands what I’m trying to convey. I’m happy you did. At least whatever happens, you know he’s the one who lost a good person.

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