Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
Traits Avoidants Find Attractive
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
Post categories
Crystal
October 8, 2016 at 4:31 am
Hello Amor,
This has taught me a lot and it has given me great advice. I have tried NC however my ex had on the 2nd day of NC began to call me and wanted to see me and so that failed to work. He keeps giving me mixed signals, he shows that he cares however he constantly pushes me away and reminds me that we are not together anymore. Recently he had just blocked me on every app possible and tells me his feelings are starting to fade. Should I continue the 21-30 days NC rule? When would I know to message him again?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 2:57 pm
Hi,
There’s less chance because right now, either they’re in the honeymoon period or about to enter it and you have chased him.. So, you need to do at least 45 days and just really focus in healing and improving yourself.. and check the video below too on how to approach him after the no contact when he has a girlfriend.
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
Ugh
October 7, 2016 at 3:01 am
Hi amor..I know people pay you for this kind of stuff but..okay I’m 16 and I’m heart broken so van you help me out? I read all of your guides on repeat just to make myself feel better. My boyfriend and I broke up Tuesday.I left in the end but it’s what he wanted so I didn’t really have a choice. He kept saying he wasn’t happy with me and that he cared about me but he also cared about him. This all started because he lied to me,I caught him and he got angry. But I think there was more to it than that. This is our second break up. We started dating about two years ago the first time. We broke up in April and then got back together in July. And now here we are again. For the same reason he “wasn’t happy”. I’m in day one of no contact. (I did beg on the first day.) And its already excruciating. I want him to come back and really appreciate me this time instead of thinking he can just run away when things get hard. Can you please help..I’m not sure no contact will work with this one
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 9, 2016 at 5:38 pm
Hi Ugh,
you can ask many times as you like for free 🙂 after the first break up, did you maintain yourself? did you keep improving?
Jessica
October 7, 2016 at 1:23 am
Hi,
My fella and I were dating for over 7 months when he ended it because he needed to be alone. He lost his mom a month into us being together. He is grieving pretty hard so I tried to be there for him for the first two months after we broke up but then I said I need a break, he hated the idea. I tried to bring it back up but he wouldn’t have the convo. So I decided after he invited me to a party, that I didn’t go to, that I would try 30 days. He tried to contact me 8 times, 4 days in a row. Finally he unfriended me on facebook. Did I screw up? What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 9, 2016 at 4:44 pm
Hi Jessica,
Well it wasn’t really a good idea to inform him that you are going for no contact in 30 days because of that prohibits the element of surprise and missing you.. so his actions right now are more probably a way to influence you because he knows how much you feel about him and in a way it’s kind of like controlling you.
Alicja
October 5, 2016 at 7:51 pm
Hello everyone ! I am not English, so I’m sorry for my possibly mistakes in text. When I have been looking for advice what to do, to make my Ex back ( he left me about 3 weeks ago) I found your page. Please, tell me – does No Contact Rule work even then if my boyfriend told me that he has stoped love me?? I am not quite sure if it’s truth.. but maybe he really believd in his own words in that moment. For sure I know that during our relationship he stopped missing me. As he sad, ha hasn’t got ”this need” to see me…although we didnt used to see to each other every day ..but yes – we argued a lot, not always of course.. Despite quarrels we loved to each other very much and planned our future together. He still repeated this to me. Never before I felt that someone can love me so much as him. I try to forget, but I still love him, even though he broke with me in very bad way, saying a lot of painful, unfair things. He didnt say ”sorry” even once. The reason of break -> He doesnt need realtionship with anybody, he prefer to live alone . what to do now? Is any chance to get him back ? ps. No there isn’t another woman in his live
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 4:04 pm
Hi Alicja,
if he said he doesn’t love you anymore, that more probably means he lost desire. There’s not guarantee that the no contact rule will work but it would be better if you try it. So, that you won’t look like you’re chasing him and that you start to heal and improve yourself. That means you can’t like his posts too. Just focus in improving yourself.. be active in posting in social media but don’t stalk his account.
Girl128
October 4, 2016 at 6:55 pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. We are in a long distance relationship. Once we got together and toured different countries for a month , everything was great. We both saw how good we were together and made plans to move in together in 6 to 8 months. then he left for his home country. After one month back, we started having a lot of arguments because the distance was finally setting in. It was hard to manage communication. But we were still talking about moving in together in 6 months. Its kind of a big deal because we both hve to save up for it. He had switched jobs too to save for the move. I could feel how stressed we both were and i was constantly asking for time from him because i felt like it was the way to bridge the distance. But when I felt like i wasnt getting the treatment i wanted, i brought up the possibility of having some space. I only thought of like a week. Just to diffuse the tension. But then he said he would like to take a month-long break just to think about things. He said the distance is finally setting in, the stress of a new job is getting to him, our relationship is getting more serious (im hus first serious girlfriend and were immediately in a long distance relationship), he said its normal to feel scared because its his first serious relationship. He said he also needs time to think how to better treat me in the relationship, to discover what he wants in the relationship, to compare how it is being single and in a relationship. So he said taking a break would be good. So he broke up with me. But he promised me no one else is involved. He said he still wanted to continue planning to move in. He asked me to believe him and trust that this space is for the best. That he just really needs this solo time and space. That he will be back and that it wont be for long. Hesaid he knows im strong to let him go and wait for his return. But he said he is going to come back and claim me. He said he loves me, he really does but he just needs this time.
Should I believe him? I want to. Its been 10 days and neither him nor I have initiated contact. Will he return like he says he wpuld?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2016 at 9:04 pm
Hi Girl 128,
let’s say try to give him the benefit of the doubt.. do 30 days no contact and just focus in improving yourself while giving him space.
Beachrose
October 3, 2016 at 6:03 am
HI Amor –
On day 5 of NC and fully fine w/ it. Ex b/f is sending small, sometimes flirty texts, asking for favors, just now realizing I’m not responding to the cute stuff he’s sending. But he’s a real manipulator, esp re texting (to avoid real showing up/ to string me along w/ no real effort, etc) –
So now I see thru the “nice”, even romantic texts he sends. Most recently, friend-zoned me (but still kissing, flirting), then wasn’t there for me when I was in real trouble this past week, injured, and he fully knew it, tho he works 1 mile away, drives past my place 2 to 4 times a day, etc. “Apologized” via text “for not being there” for me on day 1, then stayed away all week, when I still needed real help. Other friends came by to help me.
The bottom line is, he has so much serious stuff wrong w/ him (untreated ADHD/ lack of empathy, impulsive hair-trigger anger issues, abandoning me in serious situations, disrespect, GIGS, etc) – that I don’t see wanting him back any time soon. He needs serious specialized counseling, meds for ADHD, maturity, etc.
Right now he’s filling every waking minute with work & activities to keep himself busy. & not alone … I know this, since he told me all about it before NC. Ditto the time just before the breakup. He treated me like a hotel. I told him as much. And the only reason I let him move in, in the 1st place was because he “proposed.” So cynical.
So since he actually has a likelihood of lying/manipulating, even though he “loves” me but is conflicted (and by the way, he’s way too old for this – middle-aged) – shouldn’t I just wait to contact him after he’s shown serious actions to address these things? Maybe months? We were together 6 years, but he’d regularly sabotage things with needless drama every few weeks. Asked me to marry him, then flip-flopped – and, repeat. Even sabotaged the couples counseling he begged me for when I tried to throw him out 2 years ago.
Meanwhile, he’d flirt and pursue any number of “ungettable girls” – none of which he ever got – not for lack of trying. Some of whom play HIM as teases/ to get favors from him, such as play in their band for free, including expensive trips out of town (out of pocket to him). This was a major problem (versus, say, investing in us) and he lost tons of work and spent thousands of $ “investing” in one female musician’s band in particular. (She seems to play men better than any musical instrument. And she’s not even that hot – she just really plays it up.)
This is not just my opinion – I had long-time roommates during all this and they witnessed a lot, plus verified to me that I’m very easy-going, plus cute & fun. Just taken for granted by this idiot.
So – wait months, far past the 30 days? See what he actually does vs. what he “texts” me?
Thanks 🙂
Beachrose
October 6, 2016 at 5:08 pm
Thanks Amor – Yeah – totally agree –
So I guess this is day 9. He tends to text daily, just” asking how I am” (my hand is injured) but NOT calling or actually offering to help – avoiding re-bonding, I think. He drives past my place on average 4 times a day, maybe more, for work & play.
He sends either mixed messages (“I miss seeing you and hearing your voice. I miss my friend.”), or he wants something practical from me, like mail – which has just been junk mail for him so I just throw it out. Plus he’s been gone almost 2 mos & was supposed to change his address.
I have no intention of contacting him unless he says something like: I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist & working on my serious issues. I was an idiot to lose you and I want to start over.
Apart from that, not interested in this guy anymore. He plays ugly psychological games to manipulate. Such a waste of time.
Beachrose
October 3, 2016 at 9:03 am
PS – by “wait” – I mean total NC. That is, I’m not waiting for him per se – I joined a dating app & have been getting in great shape over the past year, just for myself. I’ve always been in decent shape & keep my hair, skin, smile & style up just for myself. I also create all kinds of things, work a lot, bike, walk to the beach, garden, write, and work on my cabin in the desert. I don’t have a wide circle of friends, I tend to be more selective. – a few closer friends. Not really a partier, though I’m a great dancer. 😉
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 5, 2016 at 9:15 pm
That is very very good. You know I think, you need to let him prove what his true intention is. Because it looks like he knows that if he just do a little sweet gesture, be there for a couple of days, say the right words, you’ ll go back to him.
So this time, let his actions in the long run prove what his true intention is. I don’t think it would be just 30 days. Because you have been like this for a long time, it will take a long time to for him to really show if he has truly changed. Don’t fall for words, don’t fall for sweet gestures that he has been showing for a short time. If he’s really serious with you, he will really change. He will better himself and he will avoid the bad friends he’s been going out with
R
October 1, 2016 at 10:07 pm
Hi, I need your advice. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a month ago. We dated for about 2 years. He broke up with me because I commited suicide due to me suffering depression. Also there was another girl involved although he insisted that he didnt break up with me because of her. Anyway, it ended really bad. Of course, I begged and chased him for a bit, even talked to the other girl and found out that they like each other and i felt betrayed. That was the time I did NC. On the 13th day of NC, he contacted me and said he wanted to be friends. He said ever since we stopped talking, he cant stop thinking about me, and cant help comparing me to this other girl. He even admitted that he checks my twitter. He also said he likes me as a friend. It should be good news, right? Considering that he was really cold before and he found me annoying. I think he still has feelings for me, but is afraid of being in a relationship with me again. What should I do? should I do NC again? or should I start taking things slow and hope it’ll lead to somewhere? I’m afraid that if I stay as a friend, he’ll start to really see me as a friend and pursue a relationship with the other girl, especially that now it seems they talk everyday and do things we used to do together. He did admit that he might date the other girl but he seemed not sure because of me. I’m really confused now. I hope you can help me. Thank you.
R
October 5, 2016 at 2:49 pm
yeah… we texted each other for about 4 days which was fun and i felt like we were back like we were before, until he posted on twitter (he followed me again after he blocked me so I followed him back) that he was happy last night because of this other girl (so he’s probably talking to her while we were texting) and it really hurt me… Now I’m on day 2 of NC again… do you think NC will work if I complete it this time? Or should I just move on completely?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 2:39 pm
There’s not guarantee that it will but it’s the only better option you have.. so stick to it and improve yourself.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 4, 2016 at 6:13 pm
Hi R,
you mean you answered him when he texted you?
Rhegan
September 26, 2016 at 10:33 am
My Ex Boyfriend and I were in a relationship for about 3 years things got rocky throughout out first 2 years of college. (no big deal, we got through it) We have always had a very close relationship, our families are close as well as having mutual friends. In March we had a disagreement that was my fault that caused him to be angry and we went our separate ways for about a month or two. Until June when he started seeing a girl that goes to his college, this angered me because, I knew she was just a rebound and he would make public posts only because he knew I would see them. Long story short they broke up like a month and a half later, she broke up with him. During the time of their relationship in the beginning I was very upset and pushy until I decided to just better myself and leave him alone bcs I knew they wouldn’t last long. During that time I became a professional dancer and due to our mutual friends and close family the word of my success spread quickly. After the breakup with the rebound he text me and we began to text casually. It is now September and we have had a steady flow of texts and we did meet up a few weeks ago, and he made his feelings known to me. He told me that no one will ever take my place, and that the rebound was only a rebound and he admitted to stalking my social media a few times. He was reassuring me about our future, he just mentioned that we would just take baby steps and continue focusing on our goals. I did bring up “what if the rebound tries to come back” he replied “I’m sure she will try, but i’m not worried, you don’t need to worry”. After our last encounter I naturally began wanting more from him, more texts, attention, etc. And he basically told me to chill and focus on me, so our texts have gradually slowed down and it feels like the hope I had of us getting back together iss fading. Not to mention the rebound liked one of his pictures and in return he liked a few of hers. So I find myself wondering if he will be true to his word and leave what they had alone or if I was too eager and now he is going to pursue her again. However, on his facebook my pictures and old pictures we have together are still up. I’m just confused on whether or not to start the NCR and just let him want me again. And really just focus on dance and school. Or if I should mention him liking her pics, and just continue to send texts even if I don’t get a reply. We have broken up in the past but we always seem to come back to each other. But this time I feel like i’m competing with someone else.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 26, 2016 at 1:04 pm
Hi Rhegan,
Actually, he already said what you need to do.. chill and focus in yourself. And to add to that, that means focus in yourself and not him and her.. because it’s killing the attraction.. I don’t think you need to do ncr, but you need to be less available.
Rose
September 22, 2016 at 2:31 pm
Hi Amor!
My boyfriend and I had been seeing each other for eleven months and just broke up a week ago. We got into an argument after he didn’t reply to my text right away. I panicked a little, because it wasn’t like him at all to not answer me. I thought he was just ignoring me for some reason. He and my father are good friends, in fact we met through my father. He texted me and asked me what’s wrong, because my father texted him. He found all my “crazy” messages and asked me about them. I told him what I thought and he replied saying that he was having phone problems. I laughed it off, but he didn’t find it funny at all. He then became angry at me because I had mentioned it to my father and told me that it was our relationship and his relationship with my father is none of my business. I agreed, but made even more of a mistake because he would just keep getting mad at me. I confided in my cousin to ask for his advice. He then sent a message to my boyfriend, saying that I deserved to be treated better (He had done a few things in the past that hurt me). My boyfriend lashed out saying that I ruined our relationship, because I shared something with my family. I’ve confronted him about this before, but he ignores it and does nothing about it, so in order to get it off my mind I tell people close to me such as my family. I told him I couldn’t just bottle it up and I tell him everything. But he wouldn’t listen to me anymore, so went to those closest to me to ask for advice. Then he went on to say that he was done with me. We’ve gone through this cycle before and I just thought he was angry at the time. I told him we could talk later when he wasn’t as angry, but of course he didn’t want to talk later. He then said he didn’t like me and I wasn’t what he wanted anymore. He’s been seeing another girl because he’s grown tired of our relationship and saying that it’s stressful for him. He complained that I don’t contribute anything. He’s always driving to pick me up and paying the bill. Because of this he’s referred to me as selfish. But I compromised with him saying that I would drive to see him or meet him somewhere if ever he were exhausted. He started telling me these awful things about me and told me to leave him alone and that he just doesn’t want me in his life and that we’re too different. He then said that I begged him to stay all those other times. We couldn’t stop talking. He asked me why I was talking to him and I asked the same thing. I stopped begging him to stay and began the no contact rule for the sake of getting my life back together. I’m on day eight, but am finding it harder than I thought it would be. I want him back, but I’m finding it difficult to move on. Any advice?
Rose
December 28, 2016 at 1:08 am
And sorry if I’ve commented twice. I didn’t think it went through the first time.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 1:59 pm
it’s ok! It’s alright to think of him.. that’s part of it.. what matters more is the actions you take.. it would be better if you could move on independently but it’s ok to date too of you want.. I think you should check this:
What To Do When Things With Your Ex Don’t Go According To Plan (With Christine Hassler)
Rose
December 26, 2016 at 11:57 pm
Hi again Amor! Update: I extended NC and It’s been about three months since the breakup. We haven’t spoken to each other since and I’m afraid to actually say anything to him and since another girl is involved I get scared of any contact with him. So I get discouraged and feel like I don’t have a chance to make the relationship work again. Other men have asked me out and take interest in me since then. I agreed to see one, but not because I’m interested, but because I don’t know how to deal with the pain of the breakup. So because I feel like my ex has moved on I don’t have a choice, but to move on as well. The only problem is that I’m still thinking of him.
Rose
December 25, 2016 at 2:06 am
Update: Hi Amor! I’ve completed no contact, but he never said anything during the time. So I assume he’s moved on for good and there’s no use in trying any further or wasting energy. I’m still trying to get over him and am trying to see other people. The problem is that I’m not seeing other people because I’m interested, but to move on. Yet it’s still hard when I think of him. Any tips?
Rose
October 18, 2016 at 8:50 pm
I have improved myself and have been focused on other things. I don’t even know if he’s checking my posts, but I think I will extend no contact.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 20, 2016 at 6:58 pm
He probably does..but yeah, I think you should extend..
Rose
October 17, 2016 at 11:00 pm
I broke it after one week. Yes, he said it when I broke it. Since then I haven’t said anything.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 18, 2016 at 8:42 pm
so, you begged him when you broke it? After that did you improve yourself? If he sees you or your posts, would he think you’ve moved on or starting to move on? because if not, you should extend no contact
Rose
October 16, 2016 at 4:14 pm
Hi Amor! I’ve almost completed my thirty days of no contact. Unfortunately, I broke it the first time, but since then I haven’t contacted him once. Sadly, there’s another girl involved, he deems her as “deserving of his affection and love” and said that I don’t deserve it. He said that I begged, which lowers my value. I am a confident person and see value in myself, but the fact that he’s picked someone over me makes this a difficult process. I’m starting to think there’s no chance with him. Advice? Should I extend no contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 17, 2016 at 9:15 pm
when did he say that? When you broke it, why did you break it?
Rose
September 23, 2016 at 4:33 pm
Thanks Amor! How many days of no contact would you recommend?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 24, 2016 at 2:36 pm
You’re welcome! I think you should do at least 30 days
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 23, 2016 at 2:26 pm
Hi Rose,
be active in improving yourself during no contact.. do new things so you can meet new people and make new friends.. And I understand that you needed to talk to somebody about what you’re going through but choose a person that wouldn’t talk to him and confront him.Choose a neutral person.
Megan
September 15, 2016 at 6:40 pm
I was with my ex for a month, we spoke 2 months before we met, once we did we saw each other every weekend for a month and I’m 18 and he’s 21 he told me he’d never trusted anyone like he did with me, he’d never wanted to see someone so much, and he’d always tell me cute stuff, he was very insecure and had trust issues but assured me he felt safe with me. We knew how much we liked each other, however one day he said we were to different and ended it. He said he couldn’t loose me as he still wanted me in his life, I’m currently on day 9 of no contact and last week he deleted me off Snapchat as soon as he saw me out with my friends, and today he’d unfriended me on Facebook after seeing me upload a picture of myself. Previous to this a week ago he messaged me telling me I looked good because I started going to the gym and the other day he liked my Facebook and Instagram picture. What I’m trying to say is I’m confused I’m trying to get him back through no contact but he’s deleted me off Facebook now and people are telling me it’s because he still has feelings and still likes me, I just need some advice, thankyou
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 18, 2016 at 2:14 pm
HI Megan,
MOre probably they’re right, which is a good sign because he’s still affected.
M
September 13, 2016 at 11:50 pm
My boyfriend of two years broke up with me on Saturday because he said he couldn’t in 100 percent in good faith tell me he was going to marry me. He said really loved and cared about me, but he wasn’t sure he was “in love”. He is still in nursing school which is really strenuous and causes him a lot of stress. He said he couldn’t see anything past getting done with school, he didn’t even know where he was going to end up. I live about an hour away, so it isn’t just across town. Just two weeks ago he told me he was in love with me and would never do anything to hurt me because his parents had been fighting a lot. He was very loving. A week ago it’s like he started getting depressed, this has happened before, where he would disconnect. He would still talk to me a lot and visit, but it’s like he was depressed. He would initiate conversation, but I was very busy with work (I already have my degree and I work full time and make enough to be self-sufficient in a decent home). Basically, he kind of left wishy washy. He said this might be the right choice and I might wake up a month from now and realize that I made the worst decision of my life. Anyway I told him no contact unless he wanted to get back together and I relapsed on Sunday and asked if he wanted to see each other one last time, but he was working on a paper and thought it would make it harder to get over the situation. In the end, he said he I’m a great girl and deserve someone who could treat me right and buy me things and treat me like a princess. He said he hoped I could get over the hate for him one day and that he loved me very much. I told him I could never hate him and I loved him too and goodbye. I have been on strict no contact since. In the past he asked me if I would move with him if he does traveling nursing and I agreed. He also had an engagement ring picture I saw saved on his phone for a while. He also said he wanted to move to the town and work at one of the two hospitals near my house after he was done with school. Why do you think the abrupt change? How long should I go without contacting him? Do you think he’s just afraid of commitment? He graduates in May and will be an RN.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 16, 2016 at 7:15 pm
Hi M,
looks like he’s overwhelmed but he didnt see you as a sanctuary, but another one of his responsibilities.. for me, try 30 days nc
Anais
September 12, 2016 at 2:28 pm
My ex and I are not ready for a serious relartionship but we already confessed our feelings to each other. I noticed that he is liking his ex gf’s photos even more. I posted some stuff in my own Timeline, stuff he might find interesting but no likes from me. I know it sounds petty to overreact on a like but his liking habits start to give me discomfort. I know he is not the cheating type so I trust him that he’s not doing what he is not suppossed to be doing.
I am curious if he even messages his ex because he hardly responses to my messages in Facebook and sometimes it takes him a day or two to answer. I always caught him online and I askes him who he was talking to and he said it’s his client. Maybe he is messaging her on the side and I felt angry about that.
He anD I are not talking right because he said he needs time to think. He did not answer when I asked, “do you still want and love me?”. I am now doing NC for 30 days but I am scared it will give him perfect time to pursue the ex (he told he did not plan on coming back to her) or flirt with her. This isn’t the first time I did NC with him. I did that when we broke up last February. From March to May we have some communication and that is when he realized he is still in love with me. But this is different I can feel it. I am seriously scared plus at the fact that he likes his ex’s phptos and posts.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 14, 2016 at 1:21 pm
Hi Anais,
if he really likes her, that means he finds her better than you.. so, think of nc as making him miss you and improving yourself so that when he compares you to the other girl, he’ll notice your improvement
Sorcha
September 12, 2016 at 8:15 am
Hi Amor,
I guess I am just looking for permission in this.
I am on day 29 of no contact, and don’t feel ready in myself to make contact yet. I don’t want to ruin my chances, and although I have been really working on myself I don’t feel 100% emotionally ready. Is it okay to extend to 45 day NC or will this hinder my chances a lot?
Thank you 🙂
Sorcha
September 14, 2016 at 12:21 pm
Hi Amor,
We were together for 2 years.
I’m not really sure why we broke up, he just kept saying “I don’t know, it just isn’t the same”.
So I guess “the spark went”. I personally don’t think it did, I loved spending time with him, but I guess he wanted to spend more time with friends and find himself again, rather than just being “us two”
But who knows the actual reason, this is what I am assuming!
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 17, 2016 at 12:21 pm
Oh.. he got bored with the relationship.. If you need to extend, that’s ok.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 13, 2016 at 7:08 pm
Hi Sorcha,
why did you break up and how long were you together?
Sha
September 11, 2016 at 2:03 am
Hi I was in a casual on off type thing with a guy for the last 3 years. Recently When I was staying at his place I got upset when I saw him get a message from a girl on his phone about 11pm at night saying what are you doing? I gave him the silent treatment and next day he sent me lots of texts bout the weather blah blah and asked if I was ok again I told him that txt from the other girl was giving me problems (comes from a cheating husband in the past) and I was trying to process it all. He got angry and said so I can’t have women friends then maybe we should pull the plug. So I tried to explain but he ignored my txt so next day I txt saying will leave u to it since ur ignoring me. Then the next week I get a missed no caller id call on my phone then the next night he sends me a blank txt. Few days later a missed call on viber. After bout a week I saw him on tinder so got angry broke bc and said see you’re not wasting any time so have fun (clearly not my finest moment). A week later I get another no caller id then the next day a missed viber call from him and the next day a txt saying how’s tinder working out for you. Then the next day another no caller id call. Then nothing for the rest of the week. It’s now been bout 3 weeks since the break up and bout 2 weeks since I restarted nc. In the past when we broke up I would always be the one crawling and begging to get bck together. Im so confused right now as to how I feel and what his texts and missed calls mean he’s feeling. I can’t prove the missed no caller id calls are from him but they only started since the break up. Any advice???
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 12, 2016 at 3:29 pm
Hi Sha,
you’ve been on and off for so long..so, it’s normal that he would still be texting you during nc.. you have to stay strong in nc.. I think you should do at least 45 and then after that take it slow and continue on with your own activities, dont be too available and make new friends
Lucy
September 10, 2016 at 6:21 am
If you find out your ex is talking to numerous girls, spending time with them and is now on tinder and is probably sleeping around, is that a sign that he’s trying to move on even after a month and a few weeks since the break up? Will the NC still work then?? It’s been a week since NC and he hasn’t reacted about it yet
Lucy
September 11, 2016 at 1:00 pm
Plus he posts photos of him being with a girl, and things like that
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 12, 2016 at 7:13 am
Hi Lucy,
yeah, it is like that, that he’s trying to move one but being with numerous women just means he’s not getting serious in being in a relatioship. Being in no contact in itself doesn’t help much. What helps more is how you improve yourself during and after in it.
Susie
September 9, 2016 at 8:33 pm
My ex is going thru a divorce. He broke up with me saying he needs time to heal, that he can’t let himself fall in love with me. He said he’s getting counselling and I told him to take the time he needs. I haven’t been initiating contact but I have been responding (its been a week). Should I go full no contact?
Susie
September 10, 2016 at 6:33 pm
He also messaged asking if I minded him staying in touch and I said it was ok so I feel a bit bad about just ignoring him all of a sudden.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 12, 2016 at 9:08 am
oh for me it would better if you inform him, that you need space right now to heal too and when you’re ready, you’ll reconnect and then go back to no contact
Susie
September 10, 2016 at 4:20 pm
We were together five months. He was separated for two months before we met and had just started divorce proceedings and the divorce is getting nasty (I don’t think he thought it would get so complicated or that his ex would fight him so hard).
Susie
September 9, 2016 at 8:40 pm
He said I’ve done nothing wrong and he loved every minute with me, he is just not himself right now.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 10, 2016 at 3:46 pm
Hi Susie,
yes.. how long were you together?
A
September 8, 2016 at 9:44 pm
So, my boyfriend and I broke up just over a week ago, which was exactly one week before our one year anniversary. He said he lost that emotional connection with me because we became so focused on work that we stopped going out on dates and actually dating each other. He also said that some of the small things that annoyed him that he kept quiet about to keep the peace, started annoying him a lot more, such as my negativity, which of course now that all this has happened, I am working on that for myself.
He says he’s still physically attracted to me but not emotionally, but he still wants to be friends, with a few benefits. Me being me, I agreed to this because I thought it would be better than losing him altogether. Now I’m at a stage where I want us to go back to being in a relationship because just spending time with him over the last week, despite the breakup, has made me happier than I’ve been in a long time, but then I remember that he broke up with me and the reasons why and it comes crashing down that he doesn’t have any feelings for me anymore.
I play touch football where he works and we go to uni together and are part of the same touch club through that so it’s hard to avoid him completely when I still have to see him and communicate with him 3 times a week, if not more.
I want to try the no contact rule, but I’m worried that, because we’ve been friends and hanging out and sleeping together still this last week, that it was too late to start it. I’m also worried that because I have to talk to him at touch and he is also my bowling partner, I’m worried that it won’t work..
I’m sure you’ve also heard this before but I’m also worried that he’ll just be like “yeah okay i get the point, bye” and just leave and never talk to me again and move on to another girl after like one day of the NC period.
I really don’t know what to do, I want to be around him and show him that I’m still the girl he fell in love with and I want to hang out with him and make him realise that he lost me and possibly bring back those feelings that he lost, but then at the same time, I’m also worried that hanging out with him and laughing and having fun won’t make him realise that he’s lost me and he won’t realise whether or not those feelings are still there or those feelings won’t come back because in his mind we’re hanging out as friends with benefits without the actual commitment of being in a relationship.
I want him to miss me, and I want his feelings to come back, but I know him and I really think that ignoring him for 21 or 30 days will make him not care and just stop trying with me altogether and move on with his life and work…
I sent him a message last night explaining that I thought I could be friends with him but I can’t, and that I need time to work on myself and process the breakup so that was me starting the NC period. And all he responded with was “All good. Have fun and talk whenever.” I have no idea what that means and I was hoping for a more understanding response from him..
I also know that he’s been talking to his ex a lot since we broke up, and he always told me that she’s the one person he would never go back to because of what she did, but they dated for longer than him and I, and it feels like he’s changed his mind and is more interested in what she’s doing than me.
We dated for one week short of a year
This is our second breakup (first one was out of anger and a rash in-the-moment decision and we worked through that and called it back on after a month of working some things out)
He has been messaging me on facebook in a fairly positive manner because he still wants to be good friends, and I’ve been responding.
I also have the issue that I’m meant to be with him all weekend for a touch comp tomorrow and a bowling comp the next day and I was meant to be crashing at his place overnight because I don’t have a car and it was just going to be easier to go together. What do I do about that if I’ve just started the no contact period and what do I do if he messages me asking what I want to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 10, 2016 at 9:00 am
Hi A,
I’m going to be straight with you because I think you can take it, and you need it.
You love him more than he loves you. So, you’ve lowered your value for him to be continually in your life and he’s taking advantage of it.
Don’t let him do that. Do limited contact. Be civil in your activites, find another friend that you crash with. Risk losing him than losing your dignity just to make him stay.
Put yourself first. I can’t guarantee that you will get him back but the only way for you to increase your chances is raise your value.
And that means no more sex until you’re really back together. Improve yourself and do new things. Have a new routine and meet new people, make new friends. You have to show that you have moved on and be less available.
A
September 8, 2016 at 9:43 pm
Hi,
Not really sure if this is the right place to go in terms of asking these sorts of questions but I’ll get on with it anyway.
Basically, my boyfriend and I broke up a week ago, which was exactly one week before our one year anniversary. He said he lost that emotional connection with me because we became so focused on work that we stopped going out on dates and actually dating each other. He also said that some of the small things that annoyed him that he kept quiet about to keep the peace, started annoying him a lot more, such as my negativity, which of course now that all this has happened, I am working on that for myself.
He says he’s still physically attracted to me but not emotionally, but he still wants to be friends, with a few benefits. Me being me, I agreed to this because I thought it would be better than losing him altogether. Now I’m at a stage where I want us to go back to being in a relationship because just spending time with him over the last week, despite the breakup, has made me happier than I’ve been in a long time, but then I remember that he broke up with me and the reasons why and it comes crashing down that he doesn’t have any feelings for me anymore.
I play touch football where he works and we go to uni together and are part of the same touch club through that so it’s hard to avoid him completely when I still have to see him and communicate with him 3 times a week, if not more.
I want to try the no contact rule, but I’m worried that, because we’ve been friends and hanging out and sleeping together still this last week, that it was too late to start it. I’m also worried that because I have to talk to him at touch and he is also my bowling partner, I’m worried that it won’t work..
I’m sure you’ve also heard this before but I’m also worried that he’ll just be like “yeah okay i get the point, bye” and just leave and never talk to me again and move on to another girl after like one day of the NC period.
I really don’t know what to do, I want to be around him and show him that I’m still the girl he fell in love with and I want to hang out with him and make him realise that he lost me and possibly bring back those feelings that he lost, but then at the same time, I’m also worried that hanging out with him and laughing and having fun won’t make him realise that he’s lost me and he won’t realise whether or not those feelings are still there or those feelings won’t come back because in his mind we’re hanging out as friends with benefits without the actual commitment of being in a relationship.
I want him to miss me, and I want his feelings to come back, but I know him and I really think that ignoring him for 21 or 30 days will make him not care and just stop trying with me altogether and move on with his life and work…
I sent him a message last night explaining that I thought I could be friends with him but I can’t, and that I need time to work on myself and process the breakup so that was me starting the NC period. And all he responded with was “All good. Have fun and talk whenever.” I have no idea what that means and I was hoping for a more understanding response from him..
I also know that he’s been talking to his ex a lot since we broke up, and he always told me that she’s the one person he would never go back to because of what she did, but they dated for longer than him and I, and it feels like he’s changed his mind and is more interested in what she’s doing than me.
We dated for one week short of a year
This is our second breakup (first one was out of anger and a rash in-the-moment decision and we worked through that and called it back on after a month of working some things out)
He has been messaging me on facebook in a fairly positive manner because he still wants to be good friends, and I’ve been responding.
I also have the issue that I’m meant to be with him all weekend for a touch comp tomorrow and a bowling comp the next day and I was meant to be crashing at his place overnight because I don’t have a car and it was just going to be easier to go together. What do I do about that if I’ve just started the no contact period and what do I do if he messages me asking what I want to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 10, 2016 at 9:00 am
Hi A,
I’m going to be straight with you because I think you can take it, and you need it.
You love him more than he loves you. So, you’ve lowered your value for him to be continually in your life and he’s taking advantage of it.
Don’t let him do that. Do limited contact. Be civil in your activites, find another friend that you crash with. Risk losing him than losing your dignity just to make him stay.
Put yourself first. I can’t guarantee that you will get him back but the only way for you to increase your chances is raise your value.
And that means no more sex until you’re really back together. Improve yourself and do new things. Have a new routine and meet new people, make new friends. You have to show that you have moved on and be less available.
Daphne
September 8, 2016 at 5:55 pm
I have recently bought the ex boyfriend recovery pro and would like some specific advice for my situation. My ex and I had been dating and living together for about 2 years. I was unhappy because the affection was lost and we were not intimate for about 4 months. I cheated on him, telling someone else I wanted them: this would be the third time that this has happened in the relationship. He ended things and I have been heartbroken. I needed some space and took my time, however he is now seeing someone we used to both work with, someone that used to be my best friend. He tells me he thinks about me a lot and does want to be friends, he doesn’t want me out of his life. We also have matching tattoos. But he has told me that he will not trust me anytime soon. He said to give him a chance to miss me. I know he still loves me, not the same love but he does constantly say that he thought I was the one. How do I go about getting him back? I started the no contact rule today. Please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 9, 2016 at 5:03 pm
Hi Dahpne,
correct me if I’m wrong, you cheated on him three times or the cheating happened on both parties?
anyways, he basically said you should do no contact and you should watch this article too: Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)
Nidhi
September 7, 2016 at 6:17 pm
Hi Chris, Me and my ex bf were in 3year long relationship, we were also doing bit a lot of fights now and then because he used to be busy and i needed his time. He broke up wid me 2 months back, its a kind of bad break up, we had a big fight. Now after that I m only one begging,pledding, messaging, calling i did for 2 months and he switched off his cell phone for few days just to be in peace. He said he dnt wanna be wid me, he always say bad words just to hurt me, he also deleted our old pics and videos it mad me out. I last time asked him that will he forgive me, he said no chance he never wanna ve wid me. I m in touch wid his younger brother who kindda support me and tells me about him. He is not in a relationship with some one else. He is 35yrs and I m 27years old. He said we have age difference and we dnt have a match. Now i started ncr and I m almost done with 10days. He haven’t deleted me from his fb account, i feel like he kinda check me coming online or may be my profile. But he still mad at me. No msg or call affrontly in last 2 months. I m kinda worried may be he will move one and never talk to me again. Please help what to do??? I m still in ncr and continue with it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 8, 2016 at 4:03 pm
Hi Nidhi,
actually I replied to your previous comment. I’m just going to copy my answer there and paste it here.
Hi Nidhi,
do 45 days.. Ok. Getting real here. He has moved on. You have been chasing him for two months and all he wants to do is to get rid of you right? He thinks you’re chasing and it annoys him. Read this articles too so that you’ll know what to do now.
YOU DESPERATELY BEGGED FOR HIM BACK AND FAILED… I’M HERE TO FIX THAT